A humble dishwasher with a useless degree is given a mysterious artifact that will answer any question that can have an answer with 100% accuracy and good faith. But it can only do so once every 24 hours. What will he use it for?
The Oracle
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7/18/24
Why am I here?
The question comes to you as you dry off a dish from the dishwasher, making it cleaner and more presentable than yourself. Obviously, there are a number of different ways you could answer this question. You are here in the United States of America because you were born here and never had a reason to leave. You are in the small but rapidly developing city of Miller's Corner because your parents decided to move here when you were two in order to be closer to extended family. But right now you want to know specifically why you are in the kitchen of Classic Times Bar and Grill. A good enough answer, you suppose would be that it is your job, and therefore you are expected to be there a certain number of hours each week and work there washing dishes. If you don't do this you will have no source of income, and therefore be forced to move out of your rented apartment. Simple enough.
The hours go by. The kitchen always remains busy and you don't really have time to rest. Well, even if you did, it wouldn't look good to your boss. Worse yet, you are alone on the dishwasher tonight, which means that there is no one you can reliably chat with while working. Given how busy it is you wouldn't be likely to be able to really hold any interesting discussions, but it would've been nice just to have someone by your side. Still, you make it through the night and are just about to clean up when the mildly attractive waitress comes into the kitchen and says, "A party of ten just came in." Fuck! Of course you don't say this out loud. As you look back at the waitress, she makes eye contact with you a second before looking away. That face of hers is clearly upset, but there are no tears and she holds a dignified aura about her. Hm.
Regardless, you and the rest of the kitchen staff have work to do so you get to it. The chatter of the kitchen has completely stopped at this point. No words unrelated to your current jobs are said. Your restaurant closes its doors at 10 PM. You don't leave till 1. Nothing to be said for it. You drive home, the only sounds when you get back to your apartment being your footsteps walking up to your door. When you open it, you can feel it nudge against something on the ground. Looking down you see a small perfect sphere. It is black as the night outside. Good thing you turned on your lights. Curious, you bend down to pick it up and -
The second you touch it you get an excruciating headache for a less than a second and then the pain disappears entirely. Somehow you know this...thing will answer a question. Any question at all.
What question will you ask?
[] Write-in
[] What are you?
[] Where did you come from?
[] Why are you here?
The question comes to you as you dry off a dish from the dishwasher, making it cleaner and more presentable than yourself. Obviously, there are a number of different ways you could answer this question. You are here in the United States of America because you were born here and never had a reason to leave. You are in the small but rapidly developing city of Miller's Corner because your parents decided to move here when you were two in order to be closer to extended family. But right now you want to know specifically why you are in the kitchen of Classic Times Bar and Grill. A good enough answer, you suppose would be that it is your job, and therefore you are expected to be there a certain number of hours each week and work there washing dishes. If you don't do this you will have no source of income, and therefore be forced to move out of your rented apartment. Simple enough.
The hours go by. The kitchen always remains busy and you don't really have time to rest. Well, even if you did, it wouldn't look good to your boss. Worse yet, you are alone on the dishwasher tonight, which means that there is no one you can reliably chat with while working. Given how busy it is you wouldn't be likely to be able to really hold any interesting discussions, but it would've been nice just to have someone by your side. Still, you make it through the night and are just about to clean up when the mildly attractive waitress comes into the kitchen and says, "A party of ten just came in." Fuck! Of course you don't say this out loud. As you look back at the waitress, she makes eye contact with you a second before looking away. That face of hers is clearly upset, but there are no tears and she holds a dignified aura about her. Hm.
Regardless, you and the rest of the kitchen staff have work to do so you get to it. The chatter of the kitchen has completely stopped at this point. No words unrelated to your current jobs are said. Your restaurant closes its doors at 10 PM. You don't leave till 1. Nothing to be said for it. You drive home, the only sounds when you get back to your apartment being your footsteps walking up to your door. When you open it, you can feel it nudge against something on the ground. Looking down you see a small perfect sphere. It is black as the night outside. Good thing you turned on your lights. Curious, you bend down to pick it up and -
The second you touch it you get an excruciating headache for a less than a second and then the pain disappears entirely. Somehow you know this...thing will answer a question. Any question at all.
What question will you ask?
[] Write-in
[] What are you?
[] Where did you come from?
[] Why are you here?
7/19/24
My official name cannot be pronounced by human beings at this time. I am known as "The Oracle" in the most accurate translation of my name into English. I correctly answer 1 question you may have to the best of my abilities every 24 hours by your metrics. I was created by a now extinct alien species whose official name cannot be pronounced by human beings at this time. They are known as "The Progenitors" in the most accurate translation of their name into English.
You hear these words in a pleasantly monotone voice certainly generated by some sort of computer. Or at least, whatever the alien equivalent of it is. Your mind begins to whir with the possibilities of what this power could do for you, along with some anxieties about whether learning these answers might cause more trouble than they are worth. You ask it another question, "what is the meaning of life?", not really expecting an answer. As you thought, the sphere remains silent. Now that the time for questions is over, you take a look at it. The Oracle is roughly the size of a small mousepad, and is hard to the touch. For a brief moment you wonder how durable it is before you shake the thought out of your mind. You take the Oracle and place it inside your drawer by your bedside table. That should keep it from the feds for now you think. If you had energy left, you would take more time to think about the implications of receiving such a powerful tool, but as soon as your head hits the pillow, you into a dreamless sleep, your dirty clothes still closely matted to your body.
When you wake up at 9, you change out of your dirty clothes and think to yourself about what the day would bring in the shower. It is another work day. Hopefully it won't be as busy as last night. Officially you work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. However your day only really ends when the dishes are cleaned up so your work week is more like 70 hours. You spend your morning dealing with all the chores you put off yesterday and then drive to work around noon.
Your work day is spent going through the motions of being a loyal, humble dishwasher. Nothing particularly noteworthy occurs. The hours go by in haze as you deliberately avoid thinking about your situation. It would just make you depressed.
Today you're able to get home by 11. You almost wish that you would get home later so the Oracle would be - That's right! The Oracle! Somehow you had forgotten all about it! You go up to your drawer. It's still there, though it won't be active for another 2 hours. You decide to play video games to pass the time, though considering the momentous potential your life has you don't make much progress on Doom. Finally, the fated hour arrives and you ask your question...
What question will you ask?
[] Write-in
[] Where did you come from?
[] Why are you here?
[] Is there a cost to asking you these questions?
[] If I want to get rich, when and where should I buy a lotto ticket?
You hear these words in a pleasantly monotone voice certainly generated by some sort of computer. Or at least, whatever the alien equivalent of it is. Your mind begins to whir with the possibilities of what this power could do for you, along with some anxieties about whether learning these answers might cause more trouble than they are worth. You ask it another question, "what is the meaning of life?", not really expecting an answer. As you thought, the sphere remains silent. Now that the time for questions is over, you take a look at it. The Oracle is roughly the size of a small mousepad, and is hard to the touch. For a brief moment you wonder how durable it is before you shake the thought out of your mind. You take the Oracle and place it inside your drawer by your bedside table. That should keep it from the feds for now you think. If you had energy left, you would take more time to think about the implications of receiving such a powerful tool, but as soon as your head hits the pillow, you into a dreamless sleep, your dirty clothes still closely matted to your body.
When you wake up at 9, you change out of your dirty clothes and think to yourself about what the day would bring in the shower. It is another work day. Hopefully it won't be as busy as last night. Officially you work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. However your day only really ends when the dishes are cleaned up so your work week is more like 70 hours. You spend your morning dealing with all the chores you put off yesterday and then drive to work around noon.
Your work day is spent going through the motions of being a loyal, humble dishwasher. Nothing particularly noteworthy occurs. The hours go by in haze as you deliberately avoid thinking about your situation. It would just make you depressed.
Today you're able to get home by 11. You almost wish that you would get home later so the Oracle would be - That's right! The Oracle! Somehow you had forgotten all about it! You go up to your drawer. It's still there, though it won't be active for another 2 hours. You decide to play video games to pass the time, though considering the momentous potential your life has you don't make much progress on Doom. Finally, the fated hour arrives and you ask your question...
What question will you ask?
[] Write-in
[] Where did you come from?
[] Why are you here?
[] Is there a cost to asking you these questions?
[] If I want to get rich, when and where should I buy a lotto ticket?