The Memoirs of Matou Rin (Fate AU)

[Look to the Left]

8 days before the start of the Fifth Holy Grail War...
​

My hand shot out on reflex and slammed the snooze button on my clock as the alarm went off. Slowly I woke, I was never a morning person, I hated how my body seemed to barely heed my call as I tried to move, even my brain was acting sluggish. As I slowly pushed my body off the ground and off the bed I didn't even realize that my face was on the ground … Wait… Something seems off about that sentence.

*THUD*

Should've seen that coming. With a grumble I got off the ground. Opening the door I shamble down the halls, my purple eyes glazed over. It was a miracle I didn't trip and fall down the stairs like an idiot, though a part of me was strangely wondering about its application in being used for suicide-

I stopped that line of thought, there and then. I passed through the living room and into the kitchen where a certain refrigerator stood. Said refrigerator held a certain carton of milk which was now being held in my right hand as I drank it all down with a single gulp. With the sweet dairy taste now lingering in my mouth the gears in my mind slowly started to turn much more smoothly. My fuzzy vision clearing up as I saw the kitchen in full detail. "Ah… Much better…"

I like milk, one of the few things in this house that gives me a pleasant feeling. Others being learning magic (when HIS fun pit was not involved) and… certain bodily business. I put them out of my mind as I started to prepare breakfast. My only specialty at the moment was western style foods but I was okay with it, as long as it makes Shinji happy. I prefer him when he's in a good mood, much easier to deal with. Oh I don't hate him, not at all really. I just find him annoying with his giant ego and everything. Just some simple eggs, bacon and hashbrowns, nothing special. Beside as long as you cook it well it'll be better than a poorly cooked fancy meal. Soon enough a certain blue haired boy entered the room, following the scent of well cooked bacon. "Ah… Morning Rin."

"Morning Shinji." I said. I starting eating into my own breakfast.

Slowly stepping towards the table, he stretched his arms before lazily picking up. His eyes brighten at the flavour assaulting his tongue. "Your breakfast tastes great as usual."

"Yup." See? Way easier to deal with. It also helps that he only just woke up, it's hard to be a prick when you're sleepy.

I only prepared two plates even though there's technically three people. That third person however. I don't like HIM, I try not to think of HIM, and when I talk to HIM I try to limit the conversation as much as possible. Besides I don't think HE ever eats normal food. I actually never saw HIM eat anything, bet HE eats humans or something hehehe… Actually now that I think about… No, better not. Beside I can't do anything about or to HIM. HE already got his taint all over me, nothing I can do about it anymore.

I ate in silence, the clock says 6:30 AM. School doesn't start until 8:30. Since Shinji's the vice president of the Archery Club he needs to wake up early. Because of that we both have to wake up early, better get bathe and dressed soon. Eating everything off the plate in record speed, placed the plate and eating utensils into the sink. School was one thing I can look forward to. It means I could get away from this hell hole even for a little while. Anywhere was better than here. As I made it into the bathroom I took a look into the mirror. My long purple hair was a disheveled mess, my purple eyes looked empty as usual and there's bags under said eyes. Ha, just another morning then.

*Squirm* *Squirm*

"You damned worms… just leave me alone will you?" I ignored them as much as possible. Stripping myself naked I got in the shower and soaked myself in cold water. That always makes me feel better despite the biting cold. Of course I still have school so I need to finish this up quickly. After washing my hair and the rest of my body I got out of the shower and got to my bedroom. After finally getting on my school uniform, I finished off my look by tying a fuchsia coloured ribbon to a few dozen strands of hair on the side of my hide, the perks of having long hair that goes past my waist. Taking a look in the mirror and nodding at my look, I took one of my bags and headed out of the room. Taking a yellow umbrella with me just in case of rain I walked down the streets, taking in the silence of the world. Shinji has already left before me since I take my time with dressing up and brushing my hair but that's for the best. I prefer to be alone on these walks. These nice quiet peaceful walks...


-(0)-


The bustle and hustle of the students filled the front gates as I leisurely walk by all the students. They look and stare at me, whispering amongst themselves, I ignored them I always do. It has always been like this, they stare and gawk at me and judge without even knowing who I am. I don't know but it's almost kinda reassuring. It helps me know that the people around me are just ignorant morons. Yes, that's very reassuring. Besides they're too scared to talk to me straight, especially if it involves being under threat of a sharp tongue and short temper.

I was just in the hallways when the student council came out of a door and almost bumped into me. "Oh! Sorry about- oh wait it's you."

I don't know why but out of everyone he's one of the least idiotic I know. Somehow, someway, he can sense that something's horribly off about me, which I always found most interesting about him. Maybe it's part of his monk training? Who knows? I'll probably never find out. "Look where you're going first 'Mister President,'" I said with a sneer.

He gave a sigh. "I'll just forget that you said that statement." He was rubbing the bridge of his nose. "But I have to say that way of addressing others is unfit for someone of your grades or any student of this school for that matter."

"I don't care much about that." I said turning my back on him. "I do whatever the hell I want." I walked away, leaving behind a rather miffed Student Council President. Beside I had better things to attend to, like my classes. I got an image to protect after all.


-(0)-


The bells rang, signalling the end of school as I get out of my chair and pack my things. Gossips, small talk fill the air as friends agree to meet at the movies or eat at the mall or whatever things actual normal teens do. I had other things to do, such as check on Shinji and make sure that he's not putting himself in trouble. Walking down the hallways I turned around a corner when I saw her. Short black hair in a bob cut, crystal blue eyes and a warm smile, there's only person that fits that description. "Come on Rin, you can do this…"

I almost held my breath as I walk by past her. Thankfully she was busy talking to two other students who so happen to ask her for some advice on her essays. Silently I managed to walk past her without her noticing. As soon as I turned around a corner I almost slumped against a wall and gave out a silent sigh. Shaking my head I continue walking down the hallway, feeling more miserable than usual.


-(0)-


Walking into the Kyudo Club building, I took a peek and looked inside. I saw Shinji talking to a bunch of girls, showing them how to properly take a stance while bragging about his own skill in the process. Nothing new, good behavior so far. Nodding to myself, I silently walked out of the building when I bumped into the the current Kyudo captain Mitsuzuri Ayako. "Oh, hello Rin-chan what brings you here? Thinking of the joining the club?"

I gave her a blank stare. "In your dreams. I was just making sure my brother wasn't going out of his way looking like a fool to everyone. Because him being embarrassed in public will lead to me being embarrassed since we're both related.."

With a small smile, she shook her head. "Whatever, that's what you always say when you come here." She began to enter the building when I stopped her.

"Hey. Mitsuzuri-san."

"Yes Rin-chan?"

I glared in annoyance. "Stop calling me 'Rin-chan.' I've been telling you that for years and you still haven't stopped, what gives?!"

She feints a hurt expression before putting on a small smile. "Well we've known each other for quite a long time now."

"Yes but that's because we've always went to the same school." I waved off with my hand lazily.

"We've sat together at the same table and at this school we sit together at the rooftop."

"I go there to get away from all the idiots and besides, you never ask me dumb questions." I casually took a pocket watch out of my bag to check the time. She looked at it weirdly but made no thought of it.

"I'm one of the few that you give a moderate amount of respect."

"That's because you're not a moron." I it waved off once again.

"I like the face you make every time I call you Rin-chan." She gaves an open smile.

"..." I stared at her for a whole minute. "Okay that's it. I've had enough of this, I am never going to acknowledge you ever again." Quickly I fast walk past her as she looked at me with a confused expression and simply shrugged.


-(0)-


I was back the house. Back in this hell hole. Walking up the stairs, I felt and heard the familiar creaking of each step, each one sounding like something from out of those horror movies that I barely watch (All the times I did was to simply see Shinji shit himself, hehe). The ones I do watch barely scare me, there's a real life monster here and there's a horrific basement to go along with it. I doubt anything in this world has anything left that would place sheer terror in me.

Once I got into my room, I dumped my bag on the bed and immediately got started on my own personal magecraft. I like to separate what I learn on my own from what I learn from HIM. Mostly because HIS teachings are completely different from those of others, which had to do with his rather horrific teaching methods. That's blatantly understating it.

I shook my thoughts of such things as I focused on my own work. At a corner of my room was what I turned into my workshop. It was a large wooden corner desk made of dark oak and with several compartments, drawers and shelves. Scattered across it was my alchemic equipment, vials filled with all sorts of dangerous and exotic substances. Old moldy books and faded parchments. A surgical tool set and a place for my familiars to rest and idle, to the side were two filing cabinets which hold all my notes and research.

All and all it was the best I can work with. Sitting on a worn but well maintained office chair, I went back to my previous experiments. Taking one of my earliest notes, I skim over it as I grab a powderly silver-like substance held in a glass jar and a table spoon. Carefully taking an measuring spoon, I took about 5 grams, of that powder, making sure to measure it with a weighing device before I placed it carefully in a petri dish before grabbing a large beaker filled with a strange red liquid. Taking another smaller beaker, I slowly poured in a small amount before nodding to myself. Holding the small beaker in my hands I imagine a knife stabbing my heart. Prana surged through my circuits and into my hands as the red liquid inside becomes more gel like. Halting the prana in my arms I look at the red substances, checking the results I nodded to myself before I opened one of the drawers. Inside were cube shaped objects of varying substances and metals, for storage purposes. Taking out a dirty brown coloured cube I imagine a knife stabbing my heart again as I held the cube over the small beaker. With a faint glow it slowly turned to liquid as it fell on top of the red gel. With a metal stick I mixed them together until it turned into a dark brownish coloured gel. After examining it for a while before I gave a satisfied nod. I drew open another drawer and took out a metal plate with a circle etched on it. Setting it up I activated a special Bounded Field that creates a stable vacuum of air, though it's quite small. Placing the petri dish inside I poured the brownish gel on top of silvery powder and watched as the gel immediately turned into a sort of glossy liquid metal. "Everything seems to be done correctly…"

I look at the gel from several before being satisfied with the results. Opening yet another drawer I took out a reinforced welding mask. "Safety first." Placing it on, I also grabbed a part of metal gauntlets and wore them as well. Slowly I placed my armored hands on the metal plate and and counted to 3. "1… 2… 3!"

A knife pierces my heart, prana flows through my arms as the Bounded Field collapses and all the air comes back to fill the void. As soon as the air hits the metal glob, a spark appears before the entire thing was engulfed in a fiery but small explosion. As the smoke settled, I looked at where the silver glob once stood. A black scorch mark on a once pristine piece of metal. With a sigh I took off my welding mask and metal gloves as I reach for a pen and wrote a few words on the paper. "Same explosion as usual. No matter what I add I always seem to get the same explosion with 5 grams of crystallized bones."

I tap my pen on the desk. My eyes drifting to the neatly organized metal canisters the size of soda cans with each one filled with liquid metal made with 100 grams of crystallized bone all while completely isolated from the air around me. With a stretch I decided to take a break from magecraft for the day and got out of the chair. Looking around I thought of what I might do for the rest of the day. There's my punching bag in the other corner though I didn't feel like practicing my jabs today. There's my secret stash of horribly made romantic comedy light novels though I didn't feel like getting into my guilty pleasure at the moment. With a sigh I decided to go and take a walk outside. Placing a purple jacket over my school uniform and wrapping a long black scarf around my neck. I open the door and took in the evening. It was still cloudy as hell and so I also took my umbrella with me.

It was a calm walk. The streets of Fuyuki were empty as the sun slowly crossed the horizon. Cool wind blew but I was not deterred, in fact I welcomed it. A few times I saw other people. Mothers and fathers on grocery runs, a group of children playing together, a few fellow students, etc. However on this I walk had the misfortune of walking into her again. She was at the other side of the street. At the moment she was still wearing her school uniform but her face seemed to have lost all its warmth from school. A cold emotionless wall graced her face as she slowly walked down the street. I too did the same as we both slowly got closer to each other. When our distance to each other was about a meter we both stopped. For a while we both looked at each other. A tense silences chokes the very air around us.

It was until the girl in front of me broke her mask as it becomes a small frown. "Matou-sempai."

"Tohsaka-san." I looked at her coolly, my heart feels like it's beating a thousands miles per hour.

"Matou-sempai." She looks like she's in deep thought. "You know the war's about to begin soon right?"

"I do. Grandpa told me."

"Is there any way we could-"

"You know it's impossible."

She looks hurt by the statement. "But Matou-sempai… I don't want to…"

"It's inevitable." I said plainly. "In this war there can be only one winner, you know that right?"

"I know but…" She's struggling to find words. "Matou-sempai, tell me. Why do you want to fight in this war?"

"For the victory of the Matou clan." I said as if rehearsed.

"Not that, I mean what reasons do YOU have to be in this war." She had a determined look on her face. She doesn't look like she'll take no for an answer.

For a I while thought to myself. After a while, I frowned slightly before I looked at the girl in front of me. "Revenge."

Her face began to pale, crystal blue eyes wide with fear. "Revenge?"

"Did I mumble?" I cocked my head to the side, my face once again a blank mask.

"Revenge against who?"

"I'll let you figure it out later." Slowly I turned around. "It's time to cut this meeting short, don't you think?"

"Wait, Matou-sempai. I still haven't-"

"Goodbye Tohsaka-san." I walked away, ignoring her pleas, ignoring my heart's pleas. I never stopped, I never ran, I just kept walking a steady fast pace. I heard her shouting several things at me, even swearing just to catch my attention, I ignored them all. It wasn't until the last one I stopped for a single moment.

"NEE-SAN!"

For a single solitary second I stopped. I wanted to go over there and hug. Tell her how much I wanted to be called that. But no, I'm too tainted for it, I don't deserve it anymore. So I steeled my heart and walked onward, the sounds of muffled crying behind me only serve to kill me more on the inside.

Spoiler: Writer's notes

A quick thanks to @Macchiato for beta reading my work.

I am actually quite nervous about posting this on Sufficient Velocity since my last writing failures (previous fanfics). Add that to the added challenge of reimagining the personality of at least three characters (Rin, Sakura and Shinji to a lesser extent). Also if you think if Ayako is acting a bit differently from her VN self then it's because I don't have much of a grasp on her personality due to never having read the VN before. Also I'm pretty sure that there might still be some mistakes specifically after I noticed a few and fixed them as I posted this from Google DOC.

Anyways however, I hope you all enjoyed this little story of mine, there be more after this. At a much slower rate than what I'm used to but I think the time being used for the writing makes it all the better since it's not rushed. Also it'll be nice if you guys gave your thoughts on this, I can use to improve future chapters. Well, until next time.

 

[Salbazier]

Seen this concept once or twice before. Glad to see a new iteration.

 

[Hexxart]

Its certainly off to a promising start.

 

[ecs05norway]

Had an idea for an amusing possible variant on things myself. In the chaos surrounding the fire at the end of the Fourth HGW, Sakura manages to get loose and runs away from Zouken. Kiritsugu finds her shortly after finding Shirou, and ends up adopting them both.

Depending on how far Zouken had his hooks into Sakura by that point (had he transferred the heart-worm yet?), there might be some interesting potential for conflict between them as Kerry tries to raise the two kids with help from Taiga and random Yakuza.