THE KETHERIC-HIVE AFFAIR (Balder's Gate 3 in Space! Quest)

BORN TO TIEF, WORLD IS FUCK
NAME: Karlach Cliffgate
RACE: Tiefling
HIT DIE/MELEE DAMAGE: 1d12 | HIT POINTS: 21/21 | LUCK: 6/6
PROFF: +2
XP: 0 | LEVEL: 2

STRENGTH​
DEXTERITY​
CONSTITUTION​
INTELLIGENCE​
WISDOM​
CHARISMA​
16 (+3)​
16 (+3)​
13 (+1)​
8 (-1)​
10 (+0)​
12 (+1)​
Save: +5​
Save: +5​
Save: +3​
Save: +1​
Save: +2​
Save: +3​

RACIALIZED TRAITS
Darkvision: Can see 100 feet in darkness without colors. Born this way, ma called it 20/Evil vision.
Light Sleeper: Only needs four hours of sleep for a long rest. Learned this in CapFor - nap when you got it.
Energy Resistance [Fire]: Take 1/2 damage from fire. This is why we got the cheap apartments, near the radiators.
Speed Malus: -1 meter of movement per round. Gorby Jr. is a pain in the ass.
Hider: Can hide when even only lightly obscure. Learned to duck pretty fast in the military.
ABLITIES
Action Surge (1/rest): Can take an extra action, refreshes on a short rest.
Reckless attack: Can gain advantage on Str based attacks while giving enemies advantage to hit you.
Rage (2/day): can go into a rage for 1 minute, gaining advantage on str checks and saves, +2 to str damage, reistance to B, P and S damage. Can't cast spells while raging.
Fighting Styles: Defensive (+1 to AC while wearing armor), Ranged (+2 to hit with ranged weapons), Blind Fighting (gain blindsight to 10 ft)
Second Wind (1/rest): Can use a bonus action to get 1d10+Level HP.
Natural Explorer: Ensure that the group has enough vac-suits and full tanks unless enemies take specific actions to negate it. When trapped with limited resources, double what the GM says you have. Create 3 shifts as a crew, rather than 2. Can patch suit as a free action. once per session, you can declare one thing to be true about a space station, habitat or spaceship - if the GM refuses, you're given a Luck Point.
Favored Enemy (Fascists): Get advantage on Wisdom (Survival) to track them and Intelligence rolls to know about their tactics.
Broad Proficiency: Martial Weapons, Heavy Weapons
Single Proficiency: Vac-Suits, Light, Medium, Heavy
Tool Proficiency: Repair, Shuttles, Armored Fighting Vehicle
Fighter's Luck: Get x3 LP per level.
Skills [8]: Skilled in Athletics, Acrobatics, Stealth, Perception, Persuasion, Performance, Intimidation, Insight
Expertise [2]: Expertise in Athletics and Stealth (double proff bonus.)​

GEAR

Armored Vac Suit (AC 19, 7 Bulletproof)
Bulletproof: AC applies to gunfire. If an enemy rolls 8-17, remove 1 bulletproof.)​
M-Gloves: Can create two mage hands as a free action, controlled by focused

Collapsable Knife: +5 to hit, 1d12+3 damage
Concealable: Advantage to hiding, -1 intimidation
Sharp: Deals 3 damage on a miss.​

MP-5: The Solar System's sexiest SMG
Effective Range: 0-25 Meters | 25-50 Meters
Damage: 1d4+3| Caliber: Medium | Recoil: 4 | ROF: 8 | Magazine: 30+1 | Intimidation: +3
Special: Tacti-Cool (comes with a built in, infinite use wand of Ray of Frost, which can be fired from the weapon whenever you want.)
Underslung DC8-ROFW: 60 foot range, 1d8 frost damage, reduces enemy movement speed by 10 feet on a hit.​

Arachne 9mm
Effective Range: 0-50 Meters
Damage: 1d4+3 | Caliber: Medium | Recoil: 7 | ROF: 3 | Magazine: 15+1 | Intimidation: +2
Special: Frangible - you can buy Small Caliber rounds for this to reduce the recoil to 4.​

23 magazines fully stocked of 9mm rounds

Standard patch kit
Effect: It can patch any hole of about palm size or smaller. Unfortunately, since they're designed to be 'slap and forget' patches, they can't really patch bigger holes effectively. Fortunately, you can apply them as a free action.

Computer Tool Kit
Effect: The computer tool kit is the collection of various lengths of wire, soldering gun, screwdriver (magnetized) and other nibbly little bits you need to do repair work on a computer, physically speaking. This won't do anything to debug it, unless you're being really literal about debugging here.

Cuffband
Effect: A plastic set of restraints. Good for dissidents, bounties and, until the Supreme Court's decision re Staton V Solarium Primary School, unruly children.

FINANCES

Q-Card: +0
Specie: 1 Gold

LEGALITY
Current Hab Legality: Not in Hab
Intimidation: Not in Hab
Total Criminality: Not in hab


STARSHIP - USAF-SGF Short Sword (Drizzit Class)
Acceleration Max: 3Gs | Handling: +4
Sensors: 5 Locks, 2 Jams

STRUCTURE SPACES: 300
Thrusters (10): 25 [10 Armor]
Externalities (9-4): 85 [0 Armor]​
Weapons: 72​
2 Fore, 2 Starboard, 2 Port, 2 Aft, 2 Dorsal, 2 Ventral S&R Draconic Limited Twin Linked 40mm PDCs
1 Dorsal Multipurpose 32cm Launch Tube​
EW/COM: 5​
D98 Panopticon Installation​
Cargo: 6 Tons​
Life Support (3): 39 [10 Armor]​
Radiators: 10
Water Recycling & Air Filtering: 15
Cabins: 10 (6 Bunk Rooms, 3 Cabins, 1 Officer's Cabin)
Sickbay: 5
Mess Hall: 5​
Command, Control & Communication (2): 5 [10 Armor]
Engines (1): 90 [10 Armor]
ARMERMENT
S&R Draconic Limited PDCs
Range: 0 | Damage: 1 Damage
ROF: 4d10 | Special: +5 to hit Torpedoes

32cm Launch Tube
Range: N/A | Damage: Per torpedo
ROF: 3 per round | Capacity: 17 Torpedoes

MD-82b Armor Piercing Chemical Torpedoes (12)
Special Note: These use high density hydrogen fuel bricks and have an extremely short duration
Acceleration: 20G | Handling: +4
Structure: 3​
Thrusters: -
Externalities (9-4): 1 [Armor 1]​
Weapon: 1​
High Yield Armor Piercing Warhead: 30 damage​
Life Support: -
Command, Control & Communication: -
Engine: 1​

T2-9 Tactical Nuclear Interplanetary Ballistic Missiles (5) [INOPERABLE]
Special Note: These use Zevar drives and have infinite range.
Acceleration: 10G | Handling: +4
Structure: 3​
Thrusters: -
Externalities (9-4): 2​
Weapon: 2​
Tactical Nuclear Warhead: 300 Damage (5km radius)​
Life Support: -
Command, Control & Communication: -
Engine: 1​
Description: A 300 ton warship, the Short Sword comes armed with 12 point defense cannons capable of covering every angle of attack and a 3 tube dorsal mounted torpedo bay, with 20 torpedoes, currently stocked with 15 MD82b antiarmor torpedoes that burn high density hydrogen fuel (making them high speed, short range), and 5 IPBMs with 30 kiloton tactical nuclear warheads. These have Zevar drives. They do not have "range" limitations.
 
Last edited:
Adhoc vote count started by DragonCobolt on Apr 28, 2024 at 8:36 AM, finished with 9 posts and 7 votes.


A tie...how mischievous!
 
[X] Grab him and run to Ethels.
As Shadowheart notes, Fate, The Gods and/or The DM Only Has So Many Things Prepared is conspiring to send us there, we may as well bend that way before the metaphysical hints get more forceful.
 
Adhoc vote count started by DragonCobolt on Apr 29, 2024 at 12:12 AM, finished with 11 posts and 8 votes.


Now we're cooking with gas

(+5 intimidation for the cool crime of kidnapping)
 
Auntie Ethel's (2.4)
You grabbed the Cambiwhatever. He groaned, head lolling as you looked around, then shoved him into Gale and Wyll's arms. "Hold him up." You tugged your jacket off, stole Gale's robes, then crammed it all onto his body. In the end, he looked kind of like he was dressed and Shadowheart was able to touch his cheek - closing up the bloody sores burnt into him by the dimensional teleport. In the end, he looked somewhat presentable.

"Why are we taking this guy?" Astarion asked, frowning.

"He's a demon," you said.

"Devil," Shadowheart muttered.

"So, he's from another universe, like Lae'zel. So, he's worth a fuckton of money. And unlike Lae'zel, he's..." you paused. "Ya know."

"I would have expected a tiefling of all people to not judge someone for having red skin," Astarion said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Shadowheart sighed. "That's not why she doesn't want to move heaven and earth to save him, Astarion."

"...oh," Astarion said, frowning. "Right."

Your cheeks flushed while Lae'zel let out a tch! "I'm not saying we should sell him to the COM-Star or something!" you said, angrily. "Just. Ya know. Keep him. And I think I know the best place to drag him."

"...great," Shadowheart muttered, having picked up on what you were thinking.

***
The inner door opened and you stepped in, flanked by Shadowheart and Lae'zel, with Gale, Astarion and Wyll dragging the badly disguised Cambrio in behind you...and for a moment, you just stood there, taking it slowly in.

The center of Ethel's was a big circular stage, with poles thrusting up into the ceiling. Glowing neon lights backlit the stage and standing there were three dryads. Not elves. Dryads. They were green and floral, their hair flowering and blooming with brilliant flowers, and their clothing was all sex. Tight thongs, tight tops, and good god, one of them had just the most gorgeous silver tramp stamp sprawling right above the crack of her ass and you could see the whole thing as she swung around the pole, flicking her hair and sending glittering, floating flower petals into the crowd. Several elves walked past, holding trays of drinks and wearing very short skirts and real high heels. The music that thumped from the wall speakers was peppy and full of synth.

Lookin' for some hot stuff, baby, this evenin'
I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight
I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin'
Gotta have some hot stuff
Gotta have some love tonight


Your foot was already tapping, while an elf girl with a nose ring and hair she had dyed bright green walked over. She smirked. "Hey there, big girl," she said, licking her lips. "Here to enjoy everything the fae can offer tonight?"

"Fucking yes!" you said.

"You remember this place is owned by a crime lord, right?" Shadowheart whispered.

"...I mean..." you said, shaking your head. "Uh, we need a table. Our friend here got, uh, a lot to drink." You gestured to the Cambioid.

The elf looked him over, arching an eyebrow. "Just...we have bouncers, you know?"

She jerked her head over to a corner.

The bouncers were a pair of tiny dudes who looked like they'd just rolled out of a Mardok War armory. They had ballistic plate, visors, big red silk hats, curly shoes, and old AKA-46s with wood paneling that had been chipped and worn away. One of them was sharpening a big knife and the other one had a bunch of kill markings on their vest - you counted sixteen green circles, five pale circles, two black circles, then the rest was lost under the pouches and ammo bags he had.

"...are those red caps?" Gale whispered.

"Yeah," you said. "I think. That's why they have the hat, right?"

"Auntie Ethel's got redcap bouncers," Shadowheart said, quietly. "Lovely."

The elf girl watched your conversation, then arched an eyebrow. "Come on," she said, then led you to a table with a great view of the strippers. You craned your head, trying to get a better view of the dryads - but then your ass was thumped into the chair, while the cambiddity groaned and opened his eyes to thin slits.

"Where am I?" he asked, muzzily.

"Here," Shadowheart said, several empty cups from a passing waiter - who glowered at her. "Clean these, Gale."

"You're welcome," Gale said, dryly, as he waved his hand over the cups. Once it was cleaned, Shadowheart murmured a quiet incantation, then snapped her fingers and the glasses filled with water. She handed the first to the Cambidon, who drank it with a quick gulp, then sighed, his head rolling back.

"Hells," he whispered. "Oh gods." He lifted his head up, blinking some of the fog from his eyes. He peered around himself again. "I...am somewhat at a loss." He frowned. "And this is not how I planned to introduce myself to such poor people, in such desperate need."

"What do you want?" Lae'zel asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I am Raphael," Raphael said, gesturing to himself. "And, to be quite honest, I am here because I am seeking to remove from your brains the little parasite problem you currently have." He smiled, getting more into the swing of things as he spoke, his voice melodious and warm. You didn't trust it. Sounded too much like the used shuttle salesman on the old TV. Crazy Eddie? This guy sounded like Crazy Eddie to you. "You may not know it, but according to my information...they're quite potent weapons."

"No they're not," you said, scowling. "They're just squiddy babies."

"Ah, and yet, you don't know why you're not currently feeling the first and quite painful steps of your...transformation," Raphael said, smugly.

"Yes we are," Gale said, cheerfully. "We got, a, uh...an magnetic resonance imaging machine that scanned our minds, revealing they're contained in a plastic shell with a triggered release acid spell on it." He tapped his temple. "So, they won't trigger ceremorphosis until that spell is switched on."

Raphael the Cambiddity blinked a few times, his wings mantling. "Uh..." he said, slowly. "I, uh...ahem." He coughed. "Well, I can still remove them."

"Sick!" you said, grinning. "What do you want, money? We got money."

"Nothing so tawdry as money," Raphael said, his voice smooth. "Instead, we'll be exchanging service for a service. I am to understand that this realm has been riven from the afterlife for some time - well, you may not be aware but we Cambions are merely part of a multiplanar effort to combat a kind of-"

"What's this here?"

A crooning, silky voice purred and a shadow fell over the table.

Everyone perked up and turned.

Auntie Ethel smiled down at you. There wasn't any way she could be anything else. She was easily nine, ten feet tall, with limber shoulders and a long, graceful figure. Her tits were full and barely contained in a beautiful leather jacket and white undershirt, while her juicy, juicy ass was contained in a very tight pair of short shorts. She had a large caliber revolver hanging on a low slung holster, and her eyes were covered with big reflective sunglasses. Her knuckles were tattooed - one said FAE and the other said WLD between the knuckles. She smelled strongly of a hydroponics bay - like growing things and life. Her hands planted onto your shoulder and Shadowheart's shoulder and your entire face started to burn.

"Two elves, a senator's son, a human, a tiefling, and..." She paused, looking at Lae'zel. "...a...weird elf-"

"Githyanki!" LAe'zel snapped. "Why do you fools keep mistaking me for an elf?"

"The ears," you said.

"It's the ears," Wyll said.

"They are quite elfish," Shadowheart admitted.

"The personality, darling," Astarion crooned, smirking wickedly.

Two someone's kicked Astarion's shins under the table while Auntie Ethel blinked. "And a tiefling with wings," she said, grinning at Raphael.

"And what are you, ma'am?" Gale asked.

"Why, I'm yer Auntie Ethel," she said, smirking.

"Oohh man, if my auntie looked like you, I'd be from the back country, hot damn!" you said, chuckling.

Now three people kicked your shins, and for no reason at all! You winced and looked aggrieved.

Ethel pinched your cheek. "You are a dear!" she said.

Shadowheart caught your eyes and mouthed 'crime boss' at you.

"Right!" you said, then shook your head. "Uh, nice club you got here. Very, uh...uh..." Your eyes caught a drifting flower, following it to the dryad who had shook her hair out, letting it billow into the gentle breeze within the room. She was grinding against the pole like-

"I've never met someone like you before," Gale said, smiling.

"Well, if you must pry, dearie," Ethel said, grinning. "I'm a Samodiva, of the Green."

Gale nodded.

Then his eyes widened.

"Wait, you're a H-" he started.

Oh.

OH!

OH!

He was going to drop a slur.

---
[ ] Lunge across the table to cover his mouth and shout, "Highly esteemed woman!"
[ ] Kick his shin.
[ ] "So, uh, Ethel, is it true you are big in the drug trade?"
[ ] "So, uh, Ethel, how much for you to dance?"
[ ] "Hi I'm Karlach!"
[ ] Write In
 
[x] "Hi I'm Karlach!"
- [x] Also kick Gale in the shin.

May as well double up on the cover-up tactics? Better safe than eviscerated by the claws of an angry mob boss.
 
[X] Lunge across the table to cover his mouth and shout, "Highly esteemed woman!"
 
Adhoc vote count started by DragonCobolt on Apr 29, 2024 at 12:29 PM, finished with 8 posts and 7 votes.


I'm gonna include kicking Gale too, for funsies

Roll diplomacy, DC12!
 
Might as well.

I believe this is a persuasion check
By the way, can you include the proficiency bonus in our stats?

16 total
SpacePaladin threw 2 10-faced dice. Reason: Diplomacy +3 Total: 13
7 7 6 6
 
[X] Lunge across the table to cover his mouth and shout, "Highly esteemed woman!"
[X] Kick his shin.
 
Don't Be a Pickle, Dearie (2.5)
You kicked Gale as hard as you could while, at the same time, saying: "Hi! I'm Karlach!"

"Oh surely you are, petal," Auntie Ethel said, reaching down and pinching your cheek, smirking down at you. Heh. She was tall. You blushed and shook your head as she caressed your hair, gently, then murmured. "Now, you all seem to be utter dears - so, you can stay as long as you want. Buy as much as you want. All Auntie Ethel says is that you have a good time. Can you do that?"

"Y-Yeah!" you said, nodding.

"Good," she said, then smiled and turned and sauntered off. She headed to the bar - but then turned and walked through a door that was guarded by two of those redcaps, slipping into a narrow corridor.

"...what do you think she has down that corridor?" Shadowheart asked.

"Changing rooms for dryad strippers?" you said, biting your lip.

"You don't need AKA-46s for strippers," Astarion said, dryly.

"Dryad strippers, though," you said, turning to look at the rest of them.

"Most dryads have real jobs," Shadowheart pointed out.

"Stripping's a real job. That girl's got twenty bucks in her thong!" you said. Then, sighing, you forced yourself to remember Christopher Johnson. "...right, but she's not all jugs and good times. But like, we have six different plates spinning right now, so can I at least enjoy the...uh...pollen?"

Gale sneezed loudly.

Raphael the Cambiot had been watching all of this with poorly disguised disinterest. He coughed, loudly. "Ahem. Are you not forgetting your most pressing issue?" He leaned forward. "The tadpoles. I can remove them for you."

"Can you, though?" Shadowheart asked. "We all saw your arrival..."

Raphael frowned. "I assure you. When weapons of this power are on the table, I am able to make miracles happen." His fierce look was almost scary intense - undercut slightly because the track had switched from Hot Stuff to disco cover of Star Wars and one of the dryad dancers was wearing a cheap Darth Vader mask that she had clearly bought from a bootleg store. She shook her ass as the trumpets blared and Raphael slowly closed his eyes, then rubbed his palms against his face. "...I hate this plane."

"What i want to know is why you think some mind flayers are gonna be some world shaking weapon or something," you said, snorting. "They're just squiddies. You can pop em with a 9mm, just like anyone else." You mimed a finger while one of the elf waitresses brought your drinks. You sipped yours while Raphael snorted.

"You misunderstand," he said. "My intelligences have seen the effect of these weapons - visions of the future, of what you are related too. Entire cities, destroyed like that." He snapped his fingers. "Fireballs as bright as the sun. Weapons you can't even imagine."

"You mean nukes?" you asked.

"That sounds like nuclear weapons," Shadowheart said.

"They're quite droll, you know," Astarion said.

"I have been at several disarmament protests," Wyll said, cheerfully. "I do think there's a future for the SOL system without nuclear weapons."

"Wyll, love you, I love you," you said, between sips of your beer - it was good. "But no fucking way are the Mags gonna just give up their IPBMs. We have habcrackers, they have habcrackers, and that way, grunts like me get to sit around and earn pensions without ever having to actually shoot anyone."

"...Karlach, you don't have a heart," Wyll said.

"hey!"

"I mean, literally, you got shot for the USCF!" Wyll said, frowning and tapping his finger on the table.

"Those were pirates!" you said. "Totally different from going up against the Mags." You downed more beer.

Gale, though, was tapping his chin. "Wait, did you just say that our futures are intimately related to these, um, nuclear weapons?" he asked, turning to look at Raphael - who looked like he had been whacked in the head by an entire rocket thrust nozzle. Then, slowly, he lifted his chin.

"...these nuclear weapons..." He said, slowly. "How, uh...willing do you think your Kings would be to selling them?"

Everyone was very silent for a moment.

"Purely as a hypothetical, of course," Raphael said, smirking slightly, his wings mantling, then settling.

You slowly set your cup down.

---
[ ] Ask him why he wants nuclear weapons
[ ] Ask him how rich he is
[ ] Tell him absolutely no, not even a little
[ ] Drag him out back and shoot him three times in the head
[ ] Write In
 
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