The Hero Born of Solitude

[Ars Longinus]

Chapter 1: One soul becomes two
​

Since that day on his fourth birthday when he had been declared Quirkless people around him began to shun him. After all, who would want to be friends with the unremarkable boy.

Izuku Midoriya stood atop the roof of the building he and All Might had landed on, next to the banister that ran the full perimeter of the roof. World crumbling after what his idol had just said to him. In his unstable state Izuku made a single decision.

The teachers no longer took interest in his efforts, throwing him to the side as unimportant focusing on those they believed had a chance of doing important things in the future.

Midoriya took a step forward, tears running down his face as he clambered over the protective boundary, stopping as he stood shakily on the opposite side. The wind began to pick up, causing his school uniform to begin to flap around wildly, his hair whipping wildly in the air.

Even his family seemed to become more distant. His father was constantly overseas working, practically never home. Even his loving mother, Inko Midoriya, started to spend more time at work. In a place near the back of his mind he knew that they weren't distancing themselves purposefully, but sadly his mind threw this fact aside as it fell to pieces.

Izuku stared dejectedly at the concrete ground of the alleyway dozens of stories below him, his vision beginning to blur as tears fell freely, his grip on the banister that kept him secure loosening, his fingers slipping away as his body began to fall.

Two of his few remaining lifelines, besides his parents, were his dream to be a hero, crushed underneath All Mights heel, and his obsessive devotion to Kacchan, his greatest and oldest friend. Or at least, that's what he had thought.

'If you really want to be a hero that bad, why don't you go take a swan dive off the roof and hope for a quirk in your next life!'

'No, I do not believe you can become a hero without a quirk'

Izuku could feel himself rushing towards the ground, his body weightless as he raced downwards, his eyes looking at the ground and yet seeing nothing as the final thoughts passed through his head.

As that line snapped the others could no longer support his mind, the years of isolation by his peers and the adults around him crashing down all at once. And so, the young Midoriya had taken Bakugos' suggestion to heart. To take his own life, to die a death prompted by…

'I just wish there was someone who cared about me. I wish I had a friend' thought Izuku dejectedly his eyes closing for the final time as the ground came racing up to meet him.

…Solitude
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Bakugo point of view
An alley near the Musutafu shopping district​

'Damn it! What was I thinking! What if the fucking nerd actually goes through with it!' Katsuki growled as he kicked a can in front of him, sending it flying down the alleyway past his goons as he berated himself for what he said to Deku.

Don't get him wrong, he had meant every last word he had said the nerd, but he worried how it would reflect on him if anyone found out. The teachers may not have cared about him bullying the shitty nerd, but forcing him to suicide was an entirely different set of circumstances.

Turning towards long fingers, he noticed the idiot taking a long draw from the cigarette clamped in his mouth. Bakugo growled, stomping over has he set off an explosion to get his lackies attention. "What the fuck are you doing you shit stain! Do you know what it'll do to my chances of getting into UA if people see me around you smoking!" roared the blond.

Not even taking the time to make sure the idiot did as he said, Bakugo turned and began to stalk out of the alley. Just as he was about to exit, he heard a dark chuckle from behind him. "Oh, you'll do perfectly as an invisibility cloak!" laughed the voice before a sudden rush of dark green sludge swallowed him up.
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Izuku point of view
Alley next to the building​

Izuku slowly came back to consciousness as he felt something pocking him in the side. "Hey, hey mister wake up!" shouted a voice, the prodding becoming increasingly frequent until he was suddenly kicked in the side.

Izuku shot up as he yelped in pain, his eyes snapping open as he did. The youngest Midoriya was shocked as he rapidly looked himself over, noting a few things as he did. First, yes, he was actually still alive even after falling from the top of a multistory building. 'Guess I am really useless if I can even fail at dying.' Thought Izuku dejectedly.

Second, his clothes were completely fine despite the small scuffs from his previous position lying on the ground. He also noticed that his pants, which previously would rest perfectly on top of his shoes was floating almost two inches above them. Izuku again stared in shock at this, a thought crossing his mind, 'Did I grow from the fall?'

Finally, he looked at the person who has woken him up. It was a young girl, appearing around seven years old despite only standing around 3'5. She had long white hair with green highlights, her red orbs staring back at him curiously from a pale face. She was dressed in a large white overcoat that obscured the rest of her clothing, including her shoes as it dragged along the ground.

Two strange things happened when the two locked eyes, first, a strange bone white fragment of a mask appeared on her face for a moment. It formed like a strange tiara, the ends resting on the tops of her cheekbones, forming an arc that framed her face. On her forehead a triangle stretched from the middle of the fragment to the top of her nose. Pointing backwards through her hair were four horns, two on either side of her head.

The second odd thing was the instant bond on kinship he felt as he looked into those ruby orbs. Staring into her eyes he now knew one undeniable fact. That this girl in front of him was, in some way, a part of him, another fragment of a greater being that the two made up and that she made him whole.

He spoke without thinking, his mouth moving before his mind. "Do you have a name?" Questioned the greenet, surprised at what he said. Why did he ask IF she had a name, of course she did, didn't she? Still, he made no move to correct his question, only waiting for a response.

The girl on the other hand just smiled and nodded her head rapidly, a bright shine of joy entering her eyes as she spoke. "Yup! I'm Shiki Midoriya! What about you, mister?" replied the young girl. Izuku was surprised, after all she had used his last name, and yet not. Besides, had he not just realized she was a part of him? Of course, she would have his name.

"Izuku Midoriya" Responded the boy, seeing the girls eyes widen, with a cocktail of shock, surprise and joy, each in equal measure, in her expression. Izuku slowly ascended to his feet, standing almost two and a half feet taller than her. He pondered why he wasn't freaking out more. He had just attempted to take his own life and survived a fall of multiple stories!

The girl was bouncing on the balls of her feet, her voice reflecting her earlier emotions as she spoke. "Midoriya! That's my name! Does that make you my Onii-chan?" questioned the girl, causing Izuku to nod distractedly in response. The little girl laughed in joy, following him as he began to walk out of the alleyway.

"Where are we going?" questioned the young girl, her short legs struggling to keep up with the taller Midoriya.

Stopping for a moment he picked the girl up, placing her on his shoulder before he responded, "We can go anywhere." Responded Izuku.

"What are we going to do?" Questioned Shiki, the new youngest Midoriya shifting to get more comfortable on her brothers shoulder.

The now second youngest Midoriya smiled, continuing to walk down the street, for once not caring about the people around him. "We can do anything. No matter what, we will never be alone again" Stated Izuku, and he would make sure of it.

After a while of walking the duo came across a large group of people crowding around the entrance to an alleyway. As they got closer, they could now see flames licking away at the ally with heroes attempting to keep people back. Catching a flash of blond hair and a few explosions going off, Izukus eyes widened and he picked up speed, Shiki gripping tightly to stop herself from flying off.

The two pushed their way through the crowd, getting to the front Izuku looked on at the villain in surprise, whispering to himself as he did. "That's the villain from earlier, did All Might drop him? Wait, it must have dropped out during the jump! Did I cause this?" Muttered the boy, his voice drawing Shikis' attention.

"What did you say Onii-chan?" Questioned the young girl, her head cocked to the side as she looked down at her brother. Izuku just shakes head, 'It doesn't matter' thought the young girl, translating the greenets actions.

In front of them a thrashing mass of green sludge with a vaguely humanoid shape raged surrounded by cracked concrete and blazing flames. The mass began to come together into a parody of a human, eyes coming to the sides of his head, mouth with large yellow tombstone teeth stretching into a grin. The person trapped within the mass that Izuku saw earlier seeming to be trying to get out.

A blast destroyed the monsters face revealing the person trapped inside, blond hair matted down, outstretched hand and face covered in sludge as it races to reform, red eyes wide and bloodshot as he stared out at the crowd, his gaze seeming to pierce through Izuku yet never focusing on him. And in an instant, Bakugo Katsuki was swallowed back into the villain.

'K-k-kacchan!?' questioned Izuku, moving to sprint before Shiki spoke up. "What are you doing Nii-chan? Why are you trying to fight in your base form?" Questioned the young girl, her red eyes boring into him as her head was tilted to the side in a cute fashion. Her words resounded within Izuku, causing something to snap to the forefront of his mind. Without thinking he began to walk forward, a single sentence leaving his lips "Arrancar: Primera Espada!" That was when all hell broke loose.

A tower of blue energy collected around Izukus form, obscuring his form as a wave of force pushed people back. Strangely the wave did not at all effect the surrounding buildings and had varying effects on the people. While most were thrown back a couple meters, a few people flew only one or two metres. The heroes were either pushed a couple feet or less whilst a single skeleton like blond at the front stayed perfectly still, although his sunken eyes widened as he turned to the source.

The energy dissipated revealing Izuku standing at a height of 6'1, his physical appearance the same although his hair hung to the bottom his neck, matted and unkempt, his clothing however, had changed.

He now stood there wearing a full-length white jacket with an upturned collar, the ends only half a foot off the floor, revealing he wore a pair of white pants underneath, black tabi socks and a pair of geta. A black sash was tied around his waist in a manner similar to a matador. A fanged jaw bone lay around his neck. Shiki sat on his shoulder unchanged, all though her own fragment was back in place.

The Midoriya took a step forward and that seemed to be the end of an unknown reprieve as a sudden weight dropped on top of everyone in the area, causing the same civilians thrown back earlier to come crashing to their knees, struggling too breath. The Heroes again fared better than the public, only slouching slightly and starting to breath deeper.

Again, the skeletal man stood tall, completely unphased although his eyes gained a flash of recognition as he stared at the young duo. 'Is that the boy from earlier? He said he had no quirk! Could he have been lying? No, it must be something else.' Pondered the shrunken number one.

Izuku strode forward, his face impassive as he stared down the pinned villain, the sludge monster splattered all across the alleyway unable to breath. The once trapped Bakugo was barely standing, breathing heavily. While he was also not moving, this wasn't because of the pressure, but of the site in front of him. Izuku, tall and powerful standing tall where as he could barely.

He scowled, his visage a thing of pure hatred and loathing as he spoke with difficulty. "You lying, shitty nerd! You did have a quirk! So, all these years you were just mocking me behind my back! Well, fuck you Deku! I didn't need your help!" growled the blond, his voice heavy and strained, only loud enough for the two Midoriyas' to hear.

Izuku flinched back before his brows creased as he noticed his 'friends' struggle to stand, turning around he noticed the earlier crowd in varying states of the same phenomenon. "What's going on?" muttered Izuku, his eyes glancing side to side. Stopping as he saw All Mights form standing tall, 'Even like this he is so strong!' thought the greenet, his still burning admiration growing.

Despite his heroes' words being the ones that broke him and lead to his attempted suicide, he couldn't truly blame the man. As today showed, his idol, despite being powerful, was no omnipotent god. He was also just a man, he could bleed, and as much as he couldn't accept it, he could die. His words, while harsh, where not meant to harm, but change his path to a more realistic one. He couldn't have known about the state Izuku was in.

"What do you mean Onii-chan? This is our spiritual pressure and reiatsu leaking out!" Stated Shiki her face a frown as she looked at the people in front of her, although if it was because she was unhappy because it was their doing or that the people were in such a state Izuku truthfully could not tell. Although she was a part of him, his sister, he could not fully understand or better said, comprehend, her.

Blue energy, no, reiatsu as he now knew it was called began to coalesce around him again as his eyes widened in fright, stumbling back as he was covered in reishi, muttering so only he and Shiki could hear. "No, no, no, nonononono! I can't be doing this! I can't! My powers are hurting others. But why?! All I want to do is help!" despaired the boy, his body covered in reishi.

Izuku ran off, reishi fading off his body as he left, revealing Izuku as he had been before, in uniform and standing 5'7. As he left the pressure faded, dissipating till everyone was back to normal, the people on the ground gasping for breath as air returned to their lungs.

All Might stared after the Midoriya duo, ignoring his colleagues in the business of heroism moving quickly to collect the know unconcise villain and congratulate the blond boy. 'He helped another before thinking of the ramifications to himself, and when he noticed what his power was doing, he stopped immediately, showing he cares for others. The shock at the effects also proves he didn't know about this.' Thought the hero, quickly disappearing to follow the boy, no one noticing the skeletal man who had stood tall through it all slipping away.
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Edit: Riyshn made a point I can not argue against.

 

[Riyshn]

I'll be honest, having that styling legend at the top completely put me off giving this a read. It's a horrible writing crutch that seems to have originated with the Naruto fandom that I really wish newer writers would stop being exposed to. Every one of those is either already a standard (speech and to a lesser extent thought and PoV changes) or should be communicated through either action or narration.

 

[Ars Longinus]

Chapter 2: An Undeniable Offer
​

Izuku slowed to a walk as he entered his street, Shiki finally climbing back onto his shoulder after being flung off during the run and having to cling to his jacket to stop from flying off. Resting on his shoulder, Shiki hit Izuku on the top of the head, causing him to flinch and rub the sore spot on his head. "Ow?" muttered the boy, his tone questioning as he wondered why his little sister had done that.

Shiki folded her arms across her chest and scowled at Izuku, making her look more cute than angry. "Baka onii-chan! Why did you have to run so fast! Didn't you notice you threw me off!" Exclaimed the young girl, her face shifting into a pout as she realised that Izuku was ignoring her. Again.

'Why were our powers hurting those people? I wasn't even focusing on them! All I wanted to do was make the villain stop hurting Kacchan!?' wondered Izuku, his eyes looking down at his raised hands, noticing that they were shaking. Whether it was from the left-over adrenaline from his mad dash to get away, or from a warped fear of his powers and what he had done, he did not know.

Shiki, in a bid to get his attention, again bopped the elder Midoriya on the crown of his skull, her actions bringing the greenet back to reality. "Ow!?" Exclaimed the greenet, his shout stemming more from surprise than pain. Turning his head to stare at her, his visage shifting into a scowl as he caught a glimpse of her smirking face. "What was that for?" Questioned the boy.

The little girl huffed turning away from her brother as she spoke, "You were ignoring me onii-chan!" Complained the girl petulantly, her voice a cocktail of anger and irritation. Her expression changed instantly, becoming curious as she questioned him. "What were you thinking about anyway?"

Izuku didn't respond, continuing to walk in the direction of his… there, house, where he lived with his, no, they lived with their mother. 'Damn, I'm going to need to get used to having a little sister.' Thought the junior high student. Shiki, annoyed at being ignored again, began to poke her brother in the cheek.

"Oni-chan! Stop ignoring me!" Wailed the eight-year-old looking girl, her face changing first from curiosity to a scowl, then to a pout as she continued to poke him, her hand speeding up until it became a blur.

Sighing, Izuku spoke, his hand shooting up to catch the albino haired girl's hand just as the finger was about to poke his cheek. "First, stop that, I am your big brother and you will listen to me. Second, I was just thinking over what was happening in that alley. I know it was our power doing that, but why?" Questioned the teen to the more knowledgeable sibling.

Despite the two Midoriyas' once being the same being, the differences between the two were too many to count. First, and most obviously, were the opposing genders and massive age difference. Secondly was the fact that, whilst both had the full information on their quirk, the info in Izukus' mind was buried, and he either had to fight, or be prompted to remember it.

Shikis' pout shifted back into a scowl as she began to speak, "It was our reiatsu producing pressure on the people around us. The weak people couldn't stand it and to them it was like suddenly being transported to the surface of Jupiter! Although those heroes and the blond kid did awesome!" Stated the girl, her voice beginning with a hint of distain, but shifting to joy and amazement as she spoke of what it was like for the people and how the heroes did.

Izuku scowled at the tone in his sister's voice, about to speak before Shiki took on a pondering look on her face as she continued. "But that skeleton guy wasn't affected at all! He must be so strong! I want to meet him! Hey, speaking of meeting people, who was that blond guy we saved? You called him Kacchan, right? Do you know him? Can I meet him?!" raced off the girl, her voice picking up speed as she continued to talk, until her speech was almost a blur.

Izukus' eyes widened before narrowing, 'Who was that blond guy?', and '…that skeleton guy…'. It seemed he found a third difference, as again, despite once both being him, Shiki either had an incomplete set of his memories, or none at all. Having an incomplete set would explain why she kept acting and speaking as if she was older than her physical appearance portrayed.

As Izuku was about to respond, a voice he recognized called out behind them. "Well young lady, it seems you'll get your wish earlier than expected!" Stated a deep, slightly hollow voice. Izuku whipped around, almost flinging Shiki from his shoulder as he turned to stare at the man behind him.

In the street behind the two stood All Might in his deflated form, his features sharp and angular, golden hair a dishevelled mess, eyes sunken pits, his blue eyes barely visible through the darkness. The clothes he wore hung off of his body due to their massive size, most likely to accommodate the change in size when his quirk activated.

Izuku suddenly became nervous, sweat trailing down his face. 'Why is he here? Did he come to ask me why I lied to him? He was at the alley! He must of saw me do it!' thought Izuku, unsure of what to tell his idol. "A-a-all Might! I can explain! I…." Stuttered Izuku attempting to explain himself before the skeleton in front of his raised his hand to stop him.

"Young Midoriya you do not need to explain yourself to me. At first when I saw you at the alley I was angry you lied to me, but I then saw what your powers did to those around you and I understood why you were apprehensive to use it." Explained the pro, his voice calm and even, his tone understanding but neutral. Izuku bowed his head, again looking at his hands as his mind once again went back to that alley.

The skeletal hero stared on in understanding at the young boy that had his head bowed, after all, while he had not experienced the same thing, he had seen people with amazing quirks that where so scared of what they could do to others if things went wrong they neglected them, abandoning an amazing chance at a career in heroics because they cared to much for those around them.

All Might pushed on, "However when I saw your eyes I could see you were shocked, as if none of this had ever happened before. That's when I knew you hadn't been lying, you truly believed you had no quirk up until that moment." Stated the hero, causing the Midoriyas head to whip up and stare at him in surprise, and shock. Although he looked relieved that he didn't need to explain everything to All Might.

Finally turning to the youngest person present, All Might again spoke. "Now, who may you be young lady? I saw you earlier with young Midoriya when he went to save that young man from the villain." Questioned the skeletal man, his mouth quirking up into a smile as he spoke to the young child.

Shiki smiled as finally someone was including her in the conversation. "Hi Mr. Skeleton! My name is Shiki Midoriya, Izuku is my onii-chan!" Stated the girl, a large smile splitting her face. All Mights smiled widened in response, taking the nickname in stride.

"Oh, is that so? I wonder why your brother would endanger you when he went to save that blond boy?" His gaze hardening as he turned to Izuku for an explanation. He was surprised however to receive it from a scowling Shiki.

"Onii-chan will never leave me alone again, he promised! And anyway, its not like someone so weak could ever hurt us!" Stated the girl, her scowl become a smirk that radiated pure superiority.

All Might quickly thought through her words, wondering where she had come from as she hadn't been with the boy when he was attacked. Perhaps he had picked her up on the way to the alley? Unlikely, there were no schools for someone her age between the building he had landed on and that alley. He knew because he had taken the time since he got here to familiarise himself with his knew area of activity.

Midoriya could have gone to one of the ones further away and walked back the quickest way home, but he had reached the alley to quickly for that. There was also the fact that she had also changed when Izuku had spoken, and whilst it was not strange for siblings to have similar quirks, for both to possess one that worked off of the same release command was odd.

Finally, was the line she said, 'What are you doing Nii-chan? Why are you trying to fight in your base form?'How had she some how known about Izukus' quirk when he himself did not? That was when he reached a conclusion, a wild and unlikely one that required a fair leap in logic but made sense when you put the facts together and answered his questions.

"Are you, perhaps, a part of your brothers quirk?" Questioned the man, receiving a happy nod from the girl in response. All Might was surprised that his logical jump had payed off, although pushed it to the side. After all, he had heard and seen much stranger things in his life, like how the old UA headmaster had been able to absorb and redirect energy attacks but seemed to require a set a strange set of swords with a connecting cord to do so.

Shaking his head, he got to the reason he had followed the boy. "Whilst that is surprising to hear, I came to give you an offer." Stated the hunched over skeleton, causing both Midoriyas to turn their undivided attention to the man.

"First, I would like to train you for the next few months till the UA entrance exam. And secondly, I would like for you to become the inheritor of my quirk, One for All!" Stated the man, revealing his intentions to the duo. Both seemed stunned at his words, understandable considering both who was giving the offer and what was being put on the table.

Shiki seemed to recover first, and was about to respond, but stopped midway after she glanced at her brother, who was giving her steady look. Izuku turned to speak to All Might, his idol and the man who had just asked to become his mentor. He steeled himself for what he was about to say.

"All Might… If this was a couple of hours ago, I would have jumped at the chance to become your successor, to receive you quirk and learn under you. But now, while I accept the training, to become the successor of your quirk I only have one answer…" Izuku took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he would say next.
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Toshinori point of view​

"No." That was the only thing that the young boy in front of Toshinori said that registered in the heroes' mind. Yagi was brought back to reality as he noticed that the elder Midoriya had continued to speak.

"I just can't take on the responsibilities of your quirk when I can't even control my own. If my own power already crushes villains and pros alike, what'll it does when we add yours." Explained the young teen, his reasoning only causing the heroes opinion of the boy to increase.

'He worries more for what gaining power will do to those around him than what it will do for him.' Thought All Might, before his smile broke apart into peels of laughter, his deep voice creating a slight booming effect to it. The two Midoriyas' looked on in shock and surprise at the laughing pro.

Toshinori finally finished laughing, focusing on the duo in front of him again, smile wider than ever. "Oh, young Midoriya, you have no idea just how worthy your own actions make you for my power! But I will accept your decision, however, know the offer still stands. Come to Dagobah municipal beach at 9 am tomorrow to start your training."

With that, the pro hero turned from the shocked teen and child and walked away, his wide smile never leaving his face. 'Now, to prepare a plan for his training! with his quirk, it would not be optimal to only prioritize strength training.
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Izuku point of view
​

The Midoriyas' stared on is shock as the pro walked away, before Shiki came back to reality and bopped Izuku on the head, bringing her brother back to reality as well. "Why did you do that?! Look at how powerful he is! Imagine what it would do for us?!" Wailed the young girl, her face set into a pout, her ruby orbs boring into Izukus' emerald.

Izuku sighed as he again turned and walked towards their house, "Shiki, we can't control our powers as it is, and that lack of control hurt people. It will only be worse if we added All Mights One For All." Stated the greenet, his voice serious and tired, the stress of the day finally catching up to him.

Shikis' pout turned into a scowl, once again crossing her arms and turning away from Izuku, "And why should we care about what our power does to those weaklings! They shunned us for having no quirk and now that we have power they can't stand being near us! I don't understand why you want to help people like that!" Stated Shiki, her voice harsh and angry.

Izuku sighed, another difference between the two. It seemed that despite the knowledge and vocabulary granted by having most of his memories, she did not have his personality, ideals, or as shown by her reasoning, maturity. "Shiki, just because those people are weaker than us now, it doesn't mean they don't deserve our help." Explained Izuku.

Shiki responded quickly, her voice holding the same tone. "But when we were weak they left us alone! They didn't help us! They didn't talk to us! We were alone! So, we should treat them the same now that they're the weak ones! They don't deserve our help!" Shouted Shiki, loathing leaking into the tone of her voice.

Izuku whipped his head to glare at his sister, his face stony and eyes blazing. "Shiki! It does not matter if people are weak! People deserve to be helped whether they are weaker than us or not!" Stated Izuku, his voice even, if not quieter than normal, but his tone was what terrified her.

Throughout all the memories Shiki had received from her brother, she had never truly seen him angry. Hundreds of happy, sad, irritated, confused, curious and hopeful memories but none with anger as its core, but right now, he was furious! It was understandable, her brother cared about others intensely, and her advocating leaving them to their fate stood directly in opposition to that.

Terrified Shiki bowed her head, unable to look into Izukus eyes, "I just don't want to be alone again!" Whimpered Shiki, her voice little more than a whisper. Izukus' visage softened, his eyes losing their intensity. He spoke softly his voice losing its angry edge and filling with calming and gentle tones.

"You will not lose me, I promised you, didn't I? You'll never be alone again. You have me, and mom and dad, when he's home." Stated Izuku, the last part a mumble so low that even Shiki couldn't hear him. Shiki nodded, still not looking at Izuku. Finally reaching his house, Izuku opened the door, calling ahead as he walked in "Hi mom, we're home!"

Rustling could be heard from inside as a voice called out. "Izuku! What took you so long! Were you watching heroes again? And what do you mean w…" Shouted Inko, her voice trailing off as she entered the hall way, her slender form covered in a pink over a white shirt and a short blue skirt. She stood stock still, staring at the duo in the door way.

Izuku smiled nervously as he looked at his mother, his voice reflecting his feelings as he spoke. "I-I-I got my quirk mom!" stated Izuku. His words caused Inko to burst into tears and rush forward, brining Izuku into a hug.

"Oh Izuku!" Wailed Inko, her face buried into the younger Midoriyas chest. Izuku wrapped his arms around the crying women and Shiki dropped to the ground, hugging the elder Midoriyas around the waist. 'He's right, we have mommy too.' Thought Shiki.

 

[Patches'n'Cream]

First, just gonna put this out there, this idea is awesome. I love the idea of Izuku getting Arrancar powers, and having literally zero idea of what to do with them.
But.
It's a massive cop out to have an aspect of the powers itself be able to tell him how to use it. Also, the fact that Izuku immediately accepts the little girl as his sister, just on the basis of a shared last name, is so staggeringly far outside of the suspension of disbelief that I almost stopped reading then and there. A more incredulous or distraught Izuku, especially given his suicide attempt not two minutes before, would have been confused or asked if she was lost. Sharing a last name does not immediately make people related, and having him be confused would have allowed you greater freedom to develop Shiki's character.
And then there's this:

"First, stop that, I am your big brother and you will listen to me. [...]"

Click to shrink...

Excuse me, but is this the same Izuku that we all know and love? Where on earth is this coming from? This authoritarianism is like nothing I have ever seen from Izuku, and I honestly had to stop reading at this point and just stare at my screen as I tried to make it compute.
Third, the POV shifts.
They don't add anything.
Honestly, they really don't. The shift to Bakugo in the alleyway only served to break up the flow of the story, and it easily could have been inferred from what readers know of what happened with Izuku. If you're going to skip the Slime man trying to make Izuku into a flesh suit and assume that your readers know what happened there, then you may as well do the same with Bakugo.
The same with the shift to All Might's perspective. It added literally nothing to the story. You could easily have shown his incredulity through Izuku's point of view with just a few descriptors, but instead you broke the flow of your story again, for a paragraph, just to show how surprised AM was.

Like I said, this is a great idea. I like it a lot, and I think it's got a lot of potential! I'm intrigued by the way that (just from what I've seen) Quirk strength seems to be translating into Reiatsu strength, and I really appreciated Izuku's outright refusal to inherit One for All due to power control issues. (Although that does leave me wondering how he would know those might exist in the first place.)
I hope you continue this story. It could go a lot of different places, in many different ways, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

 

[Ars Longinus]

First, just gonna put this out there, this idea is awesome. I love the idea of Izuku getting Arrancar powers, and having literally zero idea of what to do with them.

Click to shrink...

Thank you for that, I am happy you liked the original concept!

It's a massive cop out to have an aspect of the powers itself be able to tell him how to use it. Also, the fact that Izuku immediately accepts the little girl as his sister, just on the basis of a shared last name, is so staggeringly far outside of the suspension of disbelief that I almost stopped reading then and there. A more incredulous or distraught Izuku, especially given his suicide attempt not two minutes before, would have been confused or asked if she was lost. Sharing a last name does not immediately make people related, and having him be confused would have allowed you greater freedom to develop Shiki's character.

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You are correct, if I treat Shiki like that, it would be a massive cop out, however that is not the intention, although I will agree my own writing and inexperience do not convey that well. The entire acceptance part, being so quick and all, is more my bad conveying of an idea. He doesn't accept her because of a shared name, but because he quite literally feels that she is a part of him, separate, but still the same. It's like a concept so forcefully inbeded in his head, that he cannot overcome it. Also, looking back though, I agree, I handled this badly. Thank you for the criticism, it is the only way I can improve after all!

Excuse me, but is this the same Izuku that we all know and love? Where on earth is this coming from? This authoritarianism is like nothing I have ever seen from Izuku, and I honestly had to stop reading at this point and just stare at my screen as I tried to make it compute.

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Again, an apology on my side, I think I was loosing focus on the origin near the end, especially considering when I wrote this. There is no viable excuse from this break of character, as with the roadmap, his personality isn't meant to change in base state. Thank you for bringing it back to my attention.

Third, the POV shifts.
They don't add anything.
Honestly, they really don't. The shift to Bakugo in the alleyway only served to break up the flow of the story, and it easily could have been inferred from what readers know of what happened with Izuku. If you're going to skip the Slime man trying to make Izuku into a flesh suit and assume that your readers know what happened there, then you may as well do the same with Bakugo.
The same with the shift to All Might's perspective. It added literally nothing to the story. You could easily have shown his incredulity through Izuku's point of view with just a few descriptors, but instead you broke the flow of your story again, for a paragraph, just to show how surprised AM was.

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...I have no excuse but my own inexperience, and can only endeavour to improve.

Like I said, this is a great idea. I like it a lot, and I think it's got a lot of potential! I'm intrigued by the way that (just from what I've seen) Quirk strength seems to be translating into Reiatsu strength, and I really appreciated Izuku's outright refusal to inherit One for All due to power control issues. (Although that does leave me wondering how he would know those might exist in the first place.)
I hope you continue this story. It could go a lot of different places, in many different ways, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

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Honestly, the decision, in universe, is meant to be a split second choice considering the little information Izuku has. Izuku' power hurt people, All Mights' power is ridiculous, therefore, what would happen if you added them together? In Izuku' head, nothing good.

Overall, thank you. Sincerely, this is some of the best criticism I have ever gotten on a story in general. I hope you continue reading as I try to improve and continue this story. I hope you like where it goes.

 

[Patches'n'Cream]

Watched.
I look forward to seeing what you do with this! ^_^

 

[Ars Longinus]

Also, I should probably just say that the update schedule is about a chapter every two weeks, less if I get more time.

 

[Megamataman]

...I have no excuse but my own inexperience, and can only endeavour to improve.

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This. This is exactly the sort of attitude that great authors have. I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops!

 

[Ars Longinus]

So, I should have done this earlier, but better late than never, and I don't want to waste peoples time if they don't like where this concept is leading(so far).

First, before anyone gets mislead:
Izuku is the only one who will have an ability that acts like they do in bleach, release commands, lots of unconnected possibilities so forth, that appears in the timeline of the story. So no worries there.

Now to clarify things.

Crossover:
This isn't the type of crossover where I pick up X power and give it to X character. This is the type of crossover where characters from both series show up, interact with each other, and, most importantly, affect the plot.

Cannon:
This doesn't follow cannon, or at least, may not. If I believe that the existence of one character will change the plot direction, it will.

Bleach characters:
All bleach characters who appear will have there powers transformed into quirk variants. As already stated, Izuku, and only Izuku, will have bleach style powers.

Villans:
Aizen: No
Yhwach: No

I hope you enjoy the story!

 

[TheNorthern]

While the idea is interesting, both characterization and writing leave things to desire. First off, you use "POV". I concur with Riyshn that it's a crutch you shouldn't use. It may be ok on FFnet but we all know that the average quality of writing on that side is kinda low. If you ever want to improve as a writer you need to force yourself to stop using it.

As for characterization, they are all cartoon-ish. What I mean by that is that it feels like they don't have a personality or rather they have 1 trait and that's it. Which would be fine if you were showing them through character interactions but describing them from their pov (not to be confused with the POV I mention above) like that makes them fall flat.

There are some problems with how believable the character interactions are; they are not. Izuku is not acting like a teenager when he should be and the brother sister interaction is done lazily.

Overall, as I said this is a good concept but with a sub-par execution.

 

[Ars Longinus]

While the idea is interesting, both characterization and writing leave things to desire. First off, you use "POV". I concur with Riyshn that it's a crutch you shouldn't use. It may be ok on FFnet but we all know that the average quality of writing on that side is kinda low. If you ever want to improve as a writer you need to force yourself to stop using it.

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Again, thanks for the appreciation of the concept, and thank you for the advice. Your comment on FFnet is sadly too true, it's the reason I decided to start posting it here, so that I can get some actually get some helpful criticism.

As for characterization, they are all cartoon-ish. What I mean by that is that it feels like they don't have a personality or rather they have 1 trait and that's it. Which would be fine if you were showing them through character interactions but describing them from their pov (not to be confused with the POV I mention above) like that makes them fall flat.

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My apologies on this front, as I've said before, there is no excuse but my inexperience. That is what I am here to correct with your help. I'd like to be able to explain it away by the face that it's only the first to chapters, but I am here to improve, not defend my current skills. So thank you for the criticism, I'll endeavour to do more 'Show don't tell' as they say in screen writing for character exploration.

There are some problems with how believable the character interactions are; they are not. Izuku is not acting like a teenager when he should be and the brother sister interaction is done lazily.

Overall, as I said this is a good concept but with a sub-par execution.

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Again, I apologise, I have not got many interactions to draw from for siblings due to my own family, so I can only endeavour to improve.

Thank you for the criticism, I hope you find that I improve with time. I can only hope to become better, so please point out issues if you see them.

 

[TheNorthern]

Thank you for the criticism, I hope you find that I improve with time. I can only hope to become better, so please point out issues if you see them.

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Hopefully you can continue to improve, your attitude for it is great at the very least. One thing that helped me a lot is that I literally googled "How to write good action scenes/ characters/ etc"