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The First Cyber-Wizard In History!: The Game, The Movie, The Meme (Cyber-Mage Original Quest)

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(Name is subject to change, maybe.)

TRIGGER WARNING:
This quest is oozing with subtle...
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Character Creation - 1
  • Threadmarks
    • Birdsie

    Birdsie

    Sharp Talons Cleave The Worthy
    Location
    Poland
    Staff Notice - Use of transphobic meme
    (Name is subject to change, maybe.)

    TRIGGER WARNING:
    This quest is oozing with subtle pop-culture references, sublime wittiness, deadly nuance, sharp rhetoric, 4th-wall-breaking humor, and other meta-concepts. Please, contact your local motherbase and ask for permission for viewing, which must be approved by the O5 council afterward. Just in case, memetic hazard below.



    INSERT COIN TO PLAY...






    Your choices have consequences....

    That is literally the first line of the Quest, so you might as well translate it to: "Oh, cool, every choice has an inherent stat change in it!" Let's get to the point now.

    When you were a boy, you always thought you wanted a simple life. That your parents would choose your future for you. And that you would have a pretty wife and considerate children, that would visit you even when you were an old man. That, at your deathbed, you would be surrounded by friends and family, and you could say: 'I was happy all this time.' And that you could look and laugh at it all.

    You know now, that as a boy, you were wrong.

    The year is 2018. Right now, it's march. You are...

    [] [Age] A teenager, lost in thought and dripping in angst, trying to find his way in the world. Puberty hit you hard.
    [] [Age] A college student, an efficient machine running on noodles and parties, trying not to be awkward and weird. Virginity hit you hard.
    [] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.

    Regardless of your age, rate of sweating, and other parameters involved with being a complete loser, you are still human, and we all appreciate you for it. Everyone, please, give a big hand for our wonderful player... erm, what's your name again? Remind me. Also, be serious about the name. I might straight-up reject stupid ones.

    (This is meant to be your real name, by the way. Don't let the tag confuse you.)

    [] [Enter Nickname] Jason Bourne, the Meme, the Legend. (LOCKED: You need to buy the $39.99 "Dangerous and Anonymous" DLC to unlock this character customization option.)
    [] [Enter Nickname] Write-in.

    Now, choose thine gender.
    [] [Gender] A boy.
    [] [Gender] Gender is a social construct.
    [] [Gender] You identify as an Apache attack helicopter.

    What is your favorite genre of videogames?
    [] [Gaming] Fast-paced shooters that need reflexes and thinking.
    [] [Gaming] Strategy games that involve a lot of thinking metric fuckton of brainpower.
    [] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
    [] [Gaming] Horror games to scare your socks off and get that adrenaline pumping.
    [] [Gaming] A little bit of everything.
    [] [Gaming] You play the classics only.

    What is your favorite 4chan board to browse?
    [] [4chan] Random.
    [] [4chan] Politically Incorrect.
    [] [4chan] Paranormal.
    [] [4chan] Video Games.
    [] [4chan] Otaku Culture.
    [] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
    [] [4chan] You don't use 4chan. You use 7chan because you're a rebel like that. Disgusting normie...

    What is your favorite anime genre?
    [] [Anime] Slice of Life.
    [] [Anime] Isekai.
    [] [Anime] Anything with the word "(something)-dere" plastered on it.
    [] [Anime] Harem.
    [] [Anime] Shounen.
    [] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
    [] [Anime] You don't watch anime.

    What is your favorite TV show/cartoon?
    [] [Show] Supernatural.
    [] [Show] Doctor Who.
    [] [Show] Sleepy Hollow.
    [] [Show] Rick & Morty.
    [] [Show] Chowder.
    [] [Show] Regular Show.
    [] [Show] Everything, you binge everything.
    [] [Show] Cory in the House.
    [] [Show] Write-in.

    More questions once we have your answers and thus a basic idea of who you are!
     
    Last edited:
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    Character Sheet
  • Informational
    • Name: Cory Nelson
    Age: 25
    Gender: Male

    Level 1
    Experience: 0
    Experience To Level Up: 1,000

    Main Profile
    Hit Points (Lvl+Con)x2: 2
    Armor Class (Lvl+Dex+Con+Str)/3: 1
    Initiative (Lvl+Dex): 1
    UP (Upgrade Points): 0

    Attributes
    Strength: 11
    Constitution: 10
    Dexterity: 10
    Intelligence: 12
    Wisdom: 12
    Charisma: 10
    Unarmed to Hit/Brawl (Str): -10 (Untrained)
    Melee to Hit (Str): -10 (Untrained)
    Acrobatics (Dex): 0
    Appraise (Int): +4
    Bluff (Cha): +2
    Climb (Str): 0
    Craft (Int) (): 0
    Craft (Int) (Technology): +4
    Diplomacy (Cha): 0
    Disable Device (Dex): +10
    Disguise (Cha): 0
    Escape Artist (Dex): 0
    Handle Animal (Cha): 0
    Heal (Wis): 0
    Intimidate (Cha): 0
    Knowledge (Int) (): 0
    Knowledge (Int) (Computers): +10
    Knowledge (Int) (Internet): +10
    Knowledge (Int) (Engineering): +6
    Perception (Wis): 0
    Perform (Cha): +2
    Profession (Wis) (): 0
    Profession (Wis) (Computer & Machine-Related): +10
    Ride (Dex): 0
    Sense Motive (Wis): +2
    Sleight Of Hand (Dex): 0
    Stealth (Dex): 0
    Survival (Wis): 0
    Swim (Str): -10 (Untrained)
    House: An apartament on the 3rd floor, second door to the left. Smithwich mid-town. Contains one living room, a bathroom, a kitchen, and your bedroom.
    Computer: Your monster. It has 16GB of RAM for lag-free multitasking, and the powerful Intel Core i7 processor keeps up with HD video and graphic-intensive games. 120GB solid-state drive and a 1TB hard drive for storing important files.
    n/a
     
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  • Informational
    • Mechanics
  • Informational
    • I will be using a custom D20 system, roughly based on D&D. Experience will be rewarded for various choices and successful rolls. With each level-up, the players will gain Upgrade Points (UP) to spend on things like Attributes, Skills, or narrative bonuses. Upgrade Points can also be given for Natural 20's, creative write-ins, omakes, and other similar things. Any more special rules will be written down here in the future.


    Omake Policy

    Not that anyone would want to, but, yes, you can write omakes. 1UP for every 500 words, plus some XP and other bonuses depending on what the omake contains.

    Omake List:
     
    Last edited:
  • Informational
    • In hindsight, I don't know why I thought this is a good idea.

    Oh, well. *Shrugs* What could possibly go wrong?
     
    [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [x] [Enter Nickname] Mordred Anthrax
    [x] [Gender] A boy.
    [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
    [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
    [x] [Anime] Harem.
    [x] [Show] Doctor Who.
     
    Last edited:
    [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
    [x] [Gender] A boy.
    [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
    [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
    [x] [Anime] Shounen.
    [x] [Show] Cory in the house

    Live by the meme die by the meme.
     
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    I don't like it. Not enough options are locked and require money to unlock.

    Take more lessons from E.A.
     
    Warning: And here I have a SAM launcher
  • Staff Post
    • Birdsie said:
    [] [Gender] You identify as an Apache attack helicopter.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    and here i have a sam launcher @Birdsie, the 'I identify as an attack helicopter' meme is typically used - and was originally created - as a transphobic joke. It is not generally considered acceptable content here on SV.

    I am going to assume that based on the rest of the post, you weren't intending it in a hurtful context. Hence you are not receiving infraction points. You are getting an official notice on your record though, and I urge you to be more aware in future.

    That is all - you may all continue.
     
  • Staff Post
    • How interesting you're barely starting the quest and already have a staffpost... That's gotta be a new record.

    [X] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [X] [Enter Nickname] Ethan Hunt.
    [X] [Gender] A boy.
    [X] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
    [X] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
    [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
    [X] [Show] Rick & Morty.

    Let's do dis.
     
    [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
    [x] [Gender] A boy.
    [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
    [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
    [x] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you.
    That's an attitude I can respect.
    [x] [Show] How It's Made.

    I'm not sure what the title means for the setting, but I'm assuming any lessons stuck in his brain from How It's Made will be fairly useless. That seems pretty appropriate for a comedic quest: knows ten million things, but can apply absolutely none of them to the schenanigans the universe throws at him.
     
    [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [x] [Enter Nickname] Ethan Hunt
    [x] [Gender] A boy.
    [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
    [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
    [x] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
    [x] [Show] How It's Made.
     
    [X] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [X] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
    [X] [Gender] Gender is a social construct.
    [X] [Gaming] A little bit of everything.
    [X] [4chan] Otaku Culture.
    [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
    [X] [Show] Everything, you binge everything.
     
    [X] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [X] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
    [X] [Gender] Gender is a social construct.
    [X] [Gaming] A little bit of everything.
    [X] [4chan] Otaku Culture.
    [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
    [X] [Show] Everything, you binge everything.
     
    Strunkriidiisk said:
    [warning=And here I have a SAM launcher]@Birdsie, the 'I identify as an attack helicopter' meme is typically used - and was originally created - as a transphobic joke. It is not generally considered acceptable content here on SV.

    I am going to assume that based on the rest of the post, you weren't intending it in a hurtful context. Hence you are not receiving infraction points. You are getting an official notice on your record though, and I urge you to be more aware in future.

    That is all - you may all continue.[/warning]
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Thanks for the warning. I knew that using the full "level of content" on the internet wasn't going to be acceptable in a Quest and knew I'd have to make some stuff more user-friendly but I guess that one thing made it past me. I'll be extra careful for the future.

    Let's see what's this looking like so far.
    Adhoc vote count started by Birdsie on Mar 10, 2018 at 9:49 AM, finished with 17 posts and 7 votes.
    • [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
      [X] [Gender] Gender is a social construct.
      [X] [Gaming] A little bit of everything.
      [X] [4chan] Otaku Culture.
      [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
      [X] [Show] Everything, you binge everything.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Mordred Anthrax
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [x] [Anime] Harem.
      [x] [Show] Doctor Who.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [x] [Anime] Shounen.
      [x] [Show] Cory in the house
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [X] [Enter Nickname] Ethan Hunt.
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
      [X] [Show] Rick & Morty.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [x] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you.
      [x] [Show] How It's Made.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [X] [Enter Nickname] Ethan Hunt.
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
      [x] [Show] How It's Made.
    Click to expand...

    Adhoc vote count started by Birdsie on Mar 10, 2018 at 9:50 AM, finished with 17 posts and 7 votes.
    • [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
      [X] [Gender] Gender is a social construct.
      [X] [Gaming] A little bit of everything.
      [X] [4chan] Otaku Culture.
      [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
      [X] [Show] Everything, you binge everything.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Mordred Anthrax
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [x] [Anime] Harem.
      [x] [Show] Doctor Who.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [x] [Anime] Shounen.
      [x] [Show] Cory in the house
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [X] [Enter Nickname] Ethan Hunt.
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
      [X] [Show] Rick & Morty.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [x] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you.
      [x] [Show] How It's Made.
      [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
      [X] [Enter Nickname] Ethan Hunt.
      [x] [Gender] A boy.
      [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
      [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
      [X] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
      [x] [Show] How It's Made.
    Click to expand...

    Adhoc vote count started by Birdsie on Mar 10, 2018 at 9:54 AM, finished with 17 posts and 7 votes.
    Click to expand...
     
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    Character Creation - 2
  • Threadmarks
    • [x] [Age] A young adult, even though you grew up in body, your brain remains as that of a weeaboo and forever will be. You win every game, except the game of real life.
    [x] [Enter Nickname] Cory Nelson
    [x] [Gender] A boy.
    [x] [Gaming] RPGs with convoluted plotlines and cool battle mechanics.
    [x] [4chan] Quests. Oh, if only you could see through the 4th-wall to notice the irony.
    [x] [Anime] A little bit of everything goes for you. That's an attitude I can respect.
    [x] [Show] How It's Made.

    A year ago, your days of college concluded. You graduated Oaklow University with a major in Computer and Information Sciences and numerous courses in Engineering. After that, you quickly found yourself working for a local hospital, but not as a doctor. You fix computers and machines, occasionally having short, philosophical exchanges of sarcastic nature with the patients. The day you told an actress that "you shouldn't have taken that 'break a leg' thing seriously" you almost got fired.

    It was worth it though.

    Your name is Cory Nelson and you win every game, except the game of real life.


    What's your online nickname? (Now, make it stupid.)
    [] [Alter-Ego] Write-in.

    What do you mostly do on the internet?
    [] [Interwebz] Watch Youtube Videos.
    [] [Interwebz] Look up information on how to make cool machines.
    [] [Interwebz] Watch people's "my child's first spell" videos.
    [] [Interwebz] Watch superheroes recorded on camera.
    [] [Interwebz] Browse 4chan and memes.
    [] [Interwebz] Read history on magic.

    What was the moment you discovered your ability to bend technological and cybernetic instruments with the weave of magic? (Note: This option has more consequences than the others.)
    [] [Magic] Age 5, that pink dinosaur on TV, you forgot his name, but you always liked him. Your mom went pale when she found him reaching outside the TV and coming into your living room to play hands with you.
    [] [Magic] Age 9, you always thought that skooma in Morrowind was a cool thing. And then, you found a load of green bottles on your desk. That's when you first visited the hospital that you now so fatefully work in.
    [] [Magic] Age 12, playing Call of Duty, you were killed by another player. Cursing, you promised you'd find and kill him. The guy started choking over the microphone. Only a year later did you find out on an internet scandal that he was strangled by his own joystick's cable.
    [] [Magic] Age 15, playing Final Fantasy VII, you briefly summoned the Buster Sword into your hand. One hypothetical swing later and there was no more wall between you and the neighbor's occupied bathroom. He only looked up from his newspaper at you and shrugged, then kept on reading.
    [] [Magic] Age 18, when learning how to repair a processor, the computer came alive and grew a mouth capable of shooting flames. The collateral damage was in thousands that day.
    [] [Magic] Age 21, when learning about 3D printing technology, you stunned and amazed your teachers by printing a working convertible. Not even you know how you did it.
    [] [Magic] Last Tuesday. You don't know what set you off, but you were watching an Isekai anime and wished to be the protagonist. Next thing you know, you blinked and were in a fantasy world. A wolf almost ate you, but you were back in your chair at a moment's notice.
    [] [Magic] Magic? What magic? You have magic? Pffft, yeah, sure. What else, "Merlin?" You gonna tell me alien whales are orbiting the planet?
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • [X] [Alter-Ego] AceHardware

    [X] [Interwebz] Watch people's "my child's first spell" videos.

    [X] [Magic] Age 18, when learning how to repair a processor, the computer came alive and grew a mouth capable of shooting flames. The collateral damage was in thousands that day.

    Sure the history of magic would be neat, but this feels a bit more natural. It could also be a bit of an embarrassment to discover one's magic so late in their life.
     
    [x] [Alter-Ego] Mordred_Anthrax
    [x] [Interwebz] Watch Youtube Videos.
    [x] [Magic] Age 9, you always thought that skooma in Morrowind was a cool thing. And then, you found a load of green bottles on your desk. That's when you first visited the hospital that you now so fatefully work in.
     
    [X] [Alter-Ego] AceHardware
    [X] [Interwebz] Look up information on how to make cool machines.
    [X] [Magic] Age 15, playing Final Fantasy VII, you briefly summoned the Buster Sword into your hand. One hypothetical swing later and there was no more wall between you and the neighbor's occupied bathroom. He only looked up from his newspaper at you and shrugged, then kept on reading.
     
    [X] [Alter-Ego] The_Wizard_Who_Did_It
    [X] [Interwebz] Look up information on how to make cool machines.
    [X] [Magic] Age 15, playing Final Fantasy VII, you briefly summoned the Buster Sword into your hand. One hypothetical swing later and there was no more wall between you and the neighbor's occupied bathroom. He only looked up from his newspaper at you and shrugged, then kept on reading.

    @veekie got me with that, it's the most awesome reaction ever.
     
    Last edited:
    [x] [Alter-Ego] Mordred_Anthrax
    [x] [Interwebz] Watch Youtube Videos.
    [x] [Magic] Age 9, you always thought that skooma in Morrowind was a cool thing. And then, you found a load of green bottles on your desk. That's when you first visited the hospital that you now so fatefully work in.
     
    [X] [Alter-Ego] The_Wizard_Who_Did_It
    [X] [Interwebz] Look up information on how to make cool machines.
    [X] [Magic] Age 5, that pink dinosaur on TV, you forgot his name, but you always liked him. Your mom went pale when she found him reaching outside the TV and coming into your living room to play hands with you.
    I think unlocking our powers at the earliest age possible will put us at a higher level (so to speak) than the other options.
     
    Last edited:
    [X] [Alter-Ego] AceHardware
    [X] [Interwebz] Look up information on how to make cool machines.
    [X] [Magic] Age 15, playing Final Fantasy VII, you briefly summoned the Buster Sword into your hand. One hypothetical swing later and there was no more wall between you and the neighbor's occupied bathroom. He only looked up from his newspaper at you and shrugged, then kept on reading.
     
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