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The Best Damn Fics You've Ever Read.

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Broken, a drabble about Snape's rather bitter thoughts on the whole concept of Sorting.

Fulgent Engineering, a very long crossover between two rare fandoms--MacGyver and the Fallen London setting--in which MacGyver goes zailing.
 
I would like to rec a DC ensemble, I thought I rec'd it before but I don't see it in a search of the thread.

Bruce Wayne Fucks Literal, Actual Satan
It's very short humor piece, and it always gives me a sensible chuckle.

The facts were these:
  • Bruce Wayne had apparently invited John Constantine to a party despite having no reason to believe it was necessary or desired.
  • 'One of them, eventually' suggested that he had invited John to many such parties.
  • A party was often the easiest time to find and corner Bruce Wayne, when he couldn't go handcuffing anyone to anything with ridiculous bat-shaped handcuffs.
  • John never expected or waited for invitations to parties.
  • Bruce could not possibly have been monitoring John's activities closely enough to know when he ought to invite him to a party.
Therefore:
  • Bruce Wayne had been sending John Constantine invitations to every party he had thrown in the last six years, for the express purpose of ensuring that John could never have the satisfaction of crashing a posh party uninvited.
John's eyes narrowed. "You unbelievably petty asshole."
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Firm derec on Hazredous Interruptions. Started enjoyably, mostly treated the characters and world-interaction well, developed the plot in interesting fashion...and then at the eleventh hour, suddenly took a flatly positive turn on genocide. And everybody except Ozpin is suddenly all right with this, and Ozpin is painted as the villain for trying to stop said genocides.

I seriously have no idea what happened here; within a handful of chapters Salem's minions, OC and otherwise, were portrayed as horrible, horrible people who savored the cruelties they inflicted on the protagonists, and all of a sudden it's all "yay, Salem, she's the best!" It was such an astonishing turn, it reminded me of the way the post-Obsidian Butterfly Anita Blake books felt like they could have been written by a completely different author.

Actually, I owe the thread a thank-you, as I just realized that I still needed to purge it from my "Favorite Stories" list.
 
The issue with the fics I want to reccomend is that they're all the kind of satire where it's intentionally terrible/dumb in places, which is really hit or miss for most people. I love dumb parody fics to death, but for some people, they're either too dumb or not different enough to the work or works they parody.

What comes to mind is the collective works of the members of the Barcast, better known for their 'what the fuck even did I just read' story ideas they collaborate on. They're some of the funniest things I've ever read, but that's slightly skewed because they are often making fun of things that I personally dislike.

A good example of the kind of shit they write is a fic by Flammenwerfer and Anonpencil called 'Deflower of the Dark Side,' (a pun on 'the power of the dark side) that is, amd I'm not joking, smut of Fluttershy from MLP and Emporer Palpatine. The first 1/3 is mostly just dumb Prequel jokes, and when it gets to the """romance,""" Palpy is described as basically a swole as fuck bodybuilder under his robes, with some of the best/worse dialogue I've ever read. I love reading it to the various discords I'm on, always gets lots of laughs.
 
GuesssWho said:
Broken, a drabble about Snape's rather bitter thoughts on the whole concept of Sorting.
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I didn't find this really anything special. It's not really bashing, but it's just typical poor-Slytherins Snape is the head of house and has so much on his plate caring for them, and there's not really anything distinguishing this fic from the thousands of others with the same concept.

Edit: this is a derec.

Edit2: this is not a derec thanks to what was pointed out by Chloe Sullivan below. Reading it in that light, it has more depth. I'm not going to second it but I'm not dereccing it.
 
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NemiTheNen said:
Those are on AO3, I figured if no one rec'd them yet there was a reason. But the one I rec'd you have to dig a bit on tumblr for

I really dig the alibi one, and Empty Graves

I'm reccing Empty graves
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Seconding.

Empty graves is amazing. And it's amazing without having sex stuff (a lot of unpretty's other stuff uses sexuality as part of the plot) so you can freely rec it to anyone.

GoldenFalls said:
I didn't find this really anything special. It's not really bashing, but it's just typical poor-Slytherins Snape is the head of house and has so much on his plate caring for them, and there's not really anything distinguishing this fic from the thousands of others with the same concept.
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It's very much an interpretation thing.

The implication I (and at least one reviewer) got was that most slytherins are abused kids. Because how else is someone already so defined by "cunning" at age 11.
 
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I'll add my own rec to those of @eSpyre, @Elder Haman and @spacemonkey37 for Relentless. This fic is excellent at taking the Ranma 1/2 characters and throwing them into an adventure with an epic scope, while still feeling true to the things that make the characters tick.

I'll also add my rec to those of @Elder Haman and @drake_azathoth for Ill Met By Starlight. Easily one of the most memorable Ranma 1/2 fanfics I've ever read. Some of those scenes stick with you years after reading it, which is not something I can say about a lot of fanfics.

But yeah, both those are definite classics of the Ranma 1/2 fandom. (The only Ranma 1/2 fic I can think of that I'd actually put above those two is On a Clear Day You Can See Forever... and that one isn't reccable here due to being incomplete. :cry: )
 
DezoPenguin said:
Firm derec on Hazredous Interruptions. Started enjoyably, mostly treated the characters and world-interaction well, developed the plot in interesting fashion...and then at the eleventh hour, suddenly took a flatly positive turn on genocide. And everybody except Ozpin is suddenly all right with this, and Ozpin is painted as the villain for trying to stop said genocides.

I seriously have no idea what happened here; within a handful of chapters Salem's minions, OC and otherwise, were portrayed as horrible, horrible people who savored the cruelties they inflicted on the protagonists, and all of a sudden it's all "yay, Salem, she's the best!" It was such an astonishing turn, it reminded me of the way the post-Obsidian Butterfly Anita Blake books felt like they could have been written by a completely different author.

Actually, I owe the thread a thank-you, as I just realized that I still needed to purge it from my "Favorite Stories" list.
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What? Can you elaborate a bit more about this?
 
Cosar said:
What? Can you elaborate a bit more about this?
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It'd take a while to go into specifically, but the upshot is that Salem was originally an ancient Alhazredian; in a number of flashback chapters we get to see how the Alhazredian settlements on Remnant ended up creating the Grimm and tearing themselves apart. The society presented is pretty unpleasant and stratified (to the point that while reading those chapters I believed that I was getting "villain backstory," simultaneously giving some depth to Salem's origins and motivations while simultaneously anchoring herself in the Nanoha universe. So far so good, right?), and Salem herself, upon gaining some measure of control of the Grimm, has basically been purging both them and the planet repeatedly in her desire to... actually, it seems to shift a lot as you can read here, but she basically acts like a god who slaughters humanity every time it steps out of line for the ideal society she's attempting to build. It's not entirely that (in that Belkans genuinely did attack the planet on one occasion, and the Grimm are genuinely beyond anyone's direct control). See also the snippet @Tallamee posted on the previous page of this thread.

Then, Salem calls for a parley, she just walks in, and the TSAB just bends over and says "thank you, ma'am; we're sorry" (as do most of Remnant's leaders), completely ignoring everything Salem has done. Basically, Ozpin is treated by the narrative and all the characters in it as some kind of lunatic for ever trying to stop her--despite the very personal suffering Salem and her followers has inflicted on the cast, to say nothing of the historical matters.
 
1KBestK said:
The issue with the fics I want to reccomend is that they're all the kind of satire where it's intentionally terrible/dumb in places, which is really hit or miss for most people. I love dumb parody fics to death, but for some people, they're either too dumb or not different enough to the work or works they parody.
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If you want to rec a fic, but you don't think that it's good enough for "The Best Damn Fics You've Ever Read" thread, you can always rec them in the "General Recommendations" thread instead. Though I don't think that you can post any links to the fic you mentioned on this site, no matter which thread you use, because of the sexual content.
 
The secret return of Alex Mack:
TtH • Story • The Secret Return of Alex Mack
A huge mass crossover that is the (in my opinion at least) best part of a larger series of fics, and is good enough that it has spawned a big bunch of fanfics based on it.

It manages to create a consistent universe using characters from virtually any and every fandom, except Marvel which is the main comic industry in universe, up to and including DC characters, BtVS, Resident Evil (games, not movies), Stephen King's Firestarter (and she acts more like a child of her age than the actual book), a bunch of B movies and cheap action films (the author is a fan with a rather large collection), etc.
 
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