Terrible Xianxia Quest (A Xianxia quest)

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TERRIBLE XIANXIA QUEST
AKA How to set Fantasy China on fire..

It is a world where might makes...
I Can Haz Cultivation?

Spktr Alpha

A somewhat insane Sci-Fi lover
Location
Here
TERRIBLE XIANXIA QUEST
AKA How to set Fantasy China on fire..

It is a world where might makes right. And the Haves are practically gods and the Trash-mob Have-Nots are well ... Trash.

Unfortunately for you you are Trash. You don't feel like Trash but people in your homeland will give you a hard time to stroke their ego. That's why you left the land of Entitled Murder-Hobos and went and started a life out in The West.

Problem is that you have been called back to your home village ... and you already have people staring and whispering at you behind your back.

"Look at whose back..."

"So the Trash has returned..."

It annoys you but you are just here to get this shit over with.

[ ] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[ ] Your childhood bully, Antagonist, basically paid you to come back here for some reason
[ ] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
[ ] Your bae, Best Girl, needs you to speak to your asshole parents


...and while you wanted to get back to your job:

[ ] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[ ] Building Hardware at your Workshop as an Artificer
[ ] Performing to a crowd as a Bard
[ ] Raising Animals as a Tamer


You gotta do what you gotta do or your name isn't:

[ ] Sufficient Velocity
[ ] Main Character
[ ] Self Insert

You swear this in the name of your spirit animal:

[ ] The Toucan
[ ] The Velociraptor

A/N
: Why? For the glory of Foreign Devils Satan of course! ...Also we do not have enough Xianxia deconstruction. I like some works but others .. eh....
 
A Shitpost Xianxia huh? Didn't see that coming

[X] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
Want to see where this goes
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan
 
[X] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Velociraptor


I'll like for us to not be the protagonist of the Xianxia this time. It'll be interesting to see the tropes externally.
A church in a xianxia setting? Paladins? I guess I have seen everything.
Let RaptorJesus guide us toward the light of God. :V

 
Of the Xianxia I've read the ones that I actually enjoyed was Doalu Dalu and this one where the Artist tried to copy the One Piece art style. SO MANY works are just a train of power boosts and curbstomping the next unreasonable asshole. In some ways it's like Japanese Isekai fics ... except instead of harem gathering they keep talking about leveling up all the damn time.
 
[X] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Velociraptor
 
[X] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[X] Building Hardware at your Workshop as an Artificer
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan


Let's be a bro who makes cool stuff for his bro this quest! The power of Bros can exceed even the most powerful of Cultivators!
And I'm voting for the Toucan only because it is a very underrated bird whose existence is only known because of a roof of mouth cutting cereal.
P.S. I like Froot Loops.
 
[X] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan
 
[X] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
[X] Raising Animals as a Tamer
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Velociraptor

Tamer with velociraptor spirit animal? looks like we're going full Chris Prattt on this one.
 
[X] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
[X] Performing to a crowd as a Bard
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan
 
[X] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Spktr Alpha
[X] The Armored Command Unit
 
[X] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[X] Building Hardware at your Workshop as an Artificer
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan
 
[X] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[X] Building Hardware at your Workshop as an Artificer
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan
 
[X] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[X] Building Hardware at your Workshop as an Artificer
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan

Xianxia is a genre I'm pretty sick of. Let's become the most useless cultivator ever!
 
Of the Xianxia I've read the ones that I actually enjoyed was Doalu Dalu and this one where the Artist tried to copy the One Piece art style. SO MANY works are just a train of power boosts and curbstomping the next unreasonable asshole. In some ways it's like Japanese Isekai fics ... except instead of harem gathering they keep talking about leveling up all the damn time.
A Will Eternal is one of the best, you should check it out.
 
does no one want the armored command unit as our spirit animal? Does not the spirit animal of DAKKA not compel you?
 
[X] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Spktr Alpha
[X] The Armored Command Unit
 
Inserted tally
Adhoc vote count started by Spktr Alpha on Sep 30, 2018 at 10:15 PM, finished with 20 posts and 13 votes.
 
A complete rail set to wrecking town.
[X] Your ex, Worst Girl, sent you a love letter out of the blue.
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan
 
[x] Your childhood bully, Antagonist, basically paid you to come back here for some reason
[x] Raising Animals as a Tamer
[x] Self Insert
[x] The Velociraptor
 
[X] Your friend and fellow Trash, Protagonist, says that he has become a prodigy
[X] Guarding the Church as a Paladin
[X] Sufficient Velocity
[X] The Toucan
 
[x] Your childhood bully, Antagonist, basically paid you to come back here for some reason
[x] Raising Animals as a Tamer
[x] Self Insert
[x] The Velociraptor
 
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