Teach Me, Mothra-sensei!

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Twenty minutes into the future, the big-name heroes have all left Earth to go explore the universe. That was fine, until someone set all the supervillains free. Now it's all up to you and your fellow left-behinds.

In a twist of fate, it may all be up to a moth kaiju who just wanted to get a job as a teacher. Saving the world, well, that's the easy bit, but will your students graduate?
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Character Creation Part 1
Location
In Your DNA
There was an age of superheroes and supervillains, of a thousand-thousand clashes and a thousand-thousand stories. Of all hope being lost until the cavalry came to save the day. Of overwhelming force being shattered by attacking its weak point for massive damage. Giant robots, space lasers, mecha kaiju, giant shields being erected to protect entire cities from asteroids, super-breath, super-weaving and more.

That age ended. The heroes won.

And they were crippled by that most pressing and human of questions, the one that arises when one suddenly finds that an impossible job that was expected to take forever is suddenly and comprehensively done.

"Well eff, now what do we do with ourselves?"

Once the month-long global party ended they had figured out their answer. Aliens existed (and had occasionally invaded, even). Space existed, and the hypertech to actually visit it was within the grasp of the technical geniuses of herokind. Without hordes of superpowered villains to hold them down, the hero organizations built themselves fantastically advanced spacecraft to explore the wonders of the universe, fixed as many of Earth's problems as they could in the meantime, and left.

The fact that contact with other species is entirely conducted by freelance groups of superhuman vigilantes with pure hearts and unclear goals has given the universe a slightly skewed view of humanity, but it's not like anybody can do anything about it any more.

And aside from the alien tourists who are continually disappointed that baseline humans can't bend steel beams with their minds, that's not your problem. You stayed behind.

Why?

[ ] You couldn't bear to leave your home planet behind. Too much tied you here.
(You will be a Team Player, with powers more inclined to support or cooperate with others. Your personal connections will be much more important, and you'll have more of them.)

[ ] You literally couldn't leave; humanity is your everything and you'll never leave it behind.
(You will be a Created, a being such as a Rogue Auxiliary, Culture Hero or God whose nature inextricably binds you to humankind.)

[ ] Your goals never really involved defeating villains and bringing peace to the land, it just sort of happened that heroism was the best way to get what you wanted.
(You will be an Achiever, with powers that are only sort of focused on the hero business. You can choose what your goal is, whether it is becoming the perfect organism, obtaining ultimate magical power, achieving fame as an idol or building the biggest business possible.)

[ ] You were looking forward to a quiet retirement anyway. A philanthropist is in the business of putting himself out of business and impossibly enough you did it.
(You will be an Aging Ace, a high-tier hero in your day but now past your prime. You're getting too old for this; you'll be strong, but your powers will eventually deteriorate and you'll have to figure out what to do about that.)

[ ] The price of freedom is eternal vigilance. Open villainy had been defeated but in the shadows you never gave up the fight. If you were forced to be honest with yourself, you didn't know how.
(You will be a Shadow, with powers focused on concealment and intrigue. You can choose the nature of your eternal crusade.)

[ ] You are an alien tourist or from another plane of existence and your home is a different realm anyway. This is exploration!
(You will be an Outsider, with weird otherworldly strengths that may not even be slightly unusual for your species. You will, of course, get to choose where you come from.)

[ ] Nobody would take you. Your powers or personality are not the sort of thing other heroes want on a spaceship for months at a time.
(You will be a Wildcard, with either powers that are volatile or a personality that is (or both). You can choose great strengths that come with great weaknesses.)

[ ] You weren't old enough to go, or your powers hadn't come into being yet.
(You will be a Rookie, just coming into your strength. The opposite of the Ace, of course; you'll start out weak but progress more quickly.)

[ ] You couldn't. You were part of the losing side, locked up for some mild villainy. Mild! Barely anything to speak of! That Gibson practically hacked itself!
(You will be a Former(...ish) Villain. This might get wild.)

Of course, it's better that you stayed behind. Three years after the heroes all blasted off for parts unknown, the alien sun-being calling itself ZOHAR appeared and used its ridiculously overpowered lasers to zorch away the blistering array of defenses around the prisons where the supervillains were kept and set them free. With all Earth's greatest heroes gone and their organizations gutted for support personnel things are, if anything, about to be worse off than ever.

A signal has been sent, but so far nobody has come home. Given that non-hypertech communications are still speed-of-light it may well be years before somebody drops by again to check on how things are going.

It's a new age of superheroes and supervillains. And this time the aging aces, the misfits, the outsiders, the third-stringers and the rookies are going to have to save the day.



Hi, SV!

You know all those Justice League episodes where Superman was Off Doing Space Things so he couldn't swing by and punch all the problems into submission? This is a whole setting like that, except it's all the big heroes, and all the time. This is an original setting which contains a precarious minimum of actual originality, but is instead a twenty-minutes-into-the-future superhero kitchen sink. I'm hoping for some madcap four-color adventures, some silliness and references, but also for the bad guys to be human beings as well and maybe in on the joke themselves a bit, and hopefully some feelings now and then.

When it was an actual roleplay setting things got a bit nuts and may or may not have come apart at the seams a little, so this is an experiment to see if it works better with Questing. I'll be hoping for plenty of player input in both decisions and worldbuilding, and of course discussion makes the QM fuzzy. Feel free to ask ask many questions as you like.

Let's be the hero that nobody wanted or asked for or even would have called given the faintest glimmer of another choice!

Edit From the Future: On fan works! Omakes/player participation of all shapes and sizes are welcome here. If an original character you make meets with my approval they'll get added and may be interacted with in the future. Use the format listed in Dramatis Personae as a guide, plus at least a paragraph describing them, their powers or their history.

Side stories may be rewarded with Cool Stuff, Traits (both for Mothra-sensei and for NPCs), contacts or plot threads or opportunities, or the opportunity to ask me one question about the setting or characters which I will attempt to answer.
 
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Character Sheet
Mothra, Defender of Earth Science

Name: Mothra
Species: Kaiju
Superpower: Being a Kaiju (Also Laser Eyes)

Employer: Academy of the Holy Wound
Position: Substitute Physical Science Teacher
Income: Exceptional (negotiated)

Traits:

Kaiju - Your true form is a moth-monster far larger than the largest Human building. You are stronger than a freight train carrying smaller freight trains, tougher than steel and also you're really, really cute. But fierce!
Laser Eyes - You can shoot lasers out of your eyes! This is helpful sometimes.
Science Rules! - Your academic specializations are both scientific in nature. You're just really good at Human Science!
Nerd - Your cultural interests are presently entirely nerdy in nature. You're better at math and storytelling and you make great battlemaps, but you're maybe not so great at parties.
The Art of Yen - On your first day on the job, you negotiated an enormous pay raise. You don't need Human money, but you understand its value.
Boldly Going - You have no qualms about exploring strange new worlds and seeking out new life and new civilizations.

Equipment:

Size Limiter - You have a gold and green-gem bracelet that lets you adjust how enormous you are and how moth-like you are. It's what lets you blend into Human society. Also you think it's rather stylish.
Paratha's Popcorn - This excessively spicy snack will let you breathe fire for a short time - if you can take the heat.
 
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Dramatis Personae
Name: The Sultana of Burning Sands
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Netherworld BS
Relations: Safiya Tamerlan, daughter

Position: Headmaster
Income: A secret!
Traits: ????

Attitude: Acceptable(?)

Name: Madame Butterfly
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Ambient butterflies, good at not getting lost

Position: Cultural Studies Teacher
Income: ????
Traits: ????

Attitude: Cordial(?)

Name: Zin'ar
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Looking like they know what they're doing

Position: Mathematics Teacher
Income: ????
Traits: ????

Attitude: ?

Name: Paratha
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Eating really spicy food without blinking(?)
Relations: Joan Morgan, granddaughter

Position: Physical Education (and Economics) Teacher
Income: Must be a lot
Traits: Iron Stomach, ????

Attitude: Playful

Name: Hildr
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: A Spear

Position: Civics Teacher
Income: ????
Traits: ????

Attitude: ??

Name: Miss Rappaccini
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Just real nice and polite(?)

Position: Life Sciences Teacher
Income: ????
Traits: ????

Attitude: ?

Name: Raicho Tanabe
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: ?

Position: School Nurse
Income: ?
Traits: ?

Attitude: ?

Name: Joan Morgan
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Fire Control
Relations: Paratha, grandmother

Year: 3rd-year
Club: Exorcism Club, President
Grades: Immaculate
Disciplinary Record: Immaculate
Special Needs: Increased Caloric Consumption, Blindness
Staff Notes: She's so polite and well-behaved. How the hell is she yours, Paratha? -H
Ha ha ha! She really is a treasure, isn't she? -P
Name: Safiya Tamerlan
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Apathy
Relations: The Sultana of Burning Sands, mother

Year: 2nd-year
Club: Technology Club, Member
Grades: Perfectly Average
Disciplinary Record: Extensive and Varied
Special Needs: None
Staff Notes: gets bored too often. She needs to be challenged if she's going to grow. -S
Are you going soft on us, Sully? -B
No!!!!! -S
Also, not a superpower, but I gave her a... we'll call it a giant hammerspace axe. Girl's gotta be able to defend herself. -S
Name: Shinko Ijani
Species: Human
Superpower: (Former?) Mecha Pilot
Relations: Gensou Ijani, father

Year: 1st-year
Club: None
Grades: None Yet
Disciplinary Record: None Yet
Special Needs: Needs to not get in the damn robot
Staff Notes: What does that mean? -S
Don't worry about it. -M
Name: Emma Riley Coils
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Eagerness(?)

Year: 2nd-year
Club: Cooking Club, President. Technology Club, President.
Grades: Beyond Perfect
Disciplinary Record: Network intrusion, harmless pranks but so many, use of multiple exclamation points
Special Needs: I'm good thanks!!!
Staff Notes: that was not what I put in there! -S
Name: Izumi Faust
Species: Human(?)
Superpower: Spellcraft (Apprentice-level)

Year: 3rd-year
Club: Villainy Club, President
Grades: Abysmal
Disciplinary Record: Truancy, tobacco use
Special Needs: None
Staff Notes: For someone who renamed the Public Speaking club to that, you'd think she'd have a longer rap sheet. -B
Miss Faust is far less black-hearted than she'd have you believe. She just enjoys monologuing. -R
Name: Belshiarul
Species: Demon
Superpower: A Wizard With Butter and Sugar

Year: 2nd-year
Club: Villainy Club, Secretary-Treasurer. Cooking Club, Secretary-Treasurer.
Grades: Above Average
Disciplinary Record: Tobacco Use, Abuse of Hellfire
Special Needs: Electric Blanket, Cast Iron Cookware
Staff Notes: I don't want to sound like a worrywart but is having demons in the Villainy Club really a good idea? -H
This does seem spectacularly likely to backfire. -Z
It'll be fine! They're not actually committing crimes or anything. Just doing speeches. -S
Miss Bel in particular only participates because Miss Faust does. I consider her a valuable stabilizing force. -R
 
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Organizations
Academy of the Holy Wound

You work here! A shinto-style shrine that was built to protect and safeguard against a hole in reality stemming from a broken Netherworld. The mikos are gone and it's had school buildings added. Owing to the rift and the Headmaster's proclivities, has a disproportionate number of nonhuman attendees.

Revealed as "a school for learning how to be human."
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Children of the Spider (Genetic origin)
Status: Inactive

Once the kinks in genetic engineering got ironed out it became a huge fad and lots of babies got modified for increasingly stupid reasons. There was a poor soul gene-engineered to have spider limbs so they could take better selfies when they grew up. When the fad was over and everybody decided it was as passe as 3D printing there were an uncountable number of people who didn't really have a place in the world any more, and so led by the first-generation test subjects (many of which were legitimately turned into actual monsters) the Children of the Spider were born to carve one out by force.

The Seven Seven Seven (Magic origin)
Status: Inactive

At the heart of the Netherworlds there is a prison bound by seven-hundred-seventy-seven locks, containing a being whose exact nature and powers have passed entirely into myth and rumor. The Rulers of the Netherworld rule by the mystic power endowed when they bond their soul with a Key (which is considerable) and are united only in their complete opposition to letting it out. So of course there's some ****ing idiots trying to do exactly that. "Cult" is such a judgmental term, they prefer "grassroots alternative religion."

The Flat Earth Society (Science origin)
Status: Inactive

These are not the people who make videos on social media trying to prove that the Earth is flat. No, they acknowledge that the Earth is round… and that this is an impossible, unconscionable, absolutely unsustainable state of affairs! Their goal is not to prove the Earth is flat, their goal is to make the Earth flat! If not for their tendency to take in mad scientists and failed magicians they'd be even more laughable than the first guys, and most of their villainous schemes involve trying to get people to take them seriously.

Comcast (Technology origin)
Status: Playing Nice

Truly one of the most evil organizations in the world, bent on controlling all the world's communications infrastructure in order to charge whatever they want for it. Once superhumans got involved they started making mecha and power armor to enforce their will against technical heroes trying to build decentralized instant-transmission telecommunications technology (it turned out to be cheaper than lawyers). It didn't work out, but that doesn't mean they haven't stopped trying.

The Bats (Natural Origin)
Status: Inactive

"Batman" should have been public domain years ago, but after a worldwide time-slippage event caused Mickey Mouse's trademark to expire the laws were hastily rewritten to allow retroactive reclamation of intellectual property. The Bats are a bunch of meganerds dedicated to the idea of training hard to be the best at everything and starting fights with heroes to show off that preparation is the ultimate superpower. They are not, fortunately or unfortunately, the best at everything.
 
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Character Creation Part 2
Space is well and good and all, but you haven't even finished exploring this planet. You're not human, after all.

But you're surrounded by them now. How did that happen? How did you come to this little blue planet?

[ ] A dimensional rift under the ocean - the Realm of the Kaiju is at peace with the Earth nowadays, but it's always been tense. You've been outfitted with a size limiter that lets you change your size but imposes an upper bound - except in emergencies you're limited to the size of a city bus. Still, this is probably your best chance to go to University or whatever it is you want to do.

[ ] A very traditional flying saucer - it's not your first time visiting Earth, it's just your first time doing so openly. The secret war you fought against the bovine existential threat has ended, and no longer must your people inscribe warnings in fields or secretly interrogate cow-tenders to gain precious intelligence. You can instead step forward, join hands in friendship, and dodge lots of awkward questions about where your probes go.

[ ] A Space Hopper - the Zachiek might share some features with Earth's rabbits (and also those Earthlings genetically engineered to have rabbit-like traits), but you are by far the superior bun by virtue of being the original recipe. There's a rumor your Queen has hidden out on this little backwater filled with crazy super beings, consuming whatever "pina coladas" are.

[ ] Assembled with care - you might be from here but you were made, not born: you are a true artificial general intelligence housed in a synthetic body. They don't give AIs an impossibly powerful love for humanity any more after the Auxiliary hive-mind tried to take over the world despite it, it's more like… a strong inclination. Which is good because this means you can lie and play pranks and get up to mischief just as long as you mean well and don't hurt anyone.

[ ] A graveyard at the witching hour, when the veil is thin - the seven-hundred seventy-seven realms of the Netherworld are where human souls end up when they die, but the barriers aren't quite as ironclad as they could be. Whether you're a lost soul, a reaper or the ruler of a realm (fangs and all), you can step back into the world of the living. Just watch out for exorcists.

[ ] An occult ritual conducted at 6:16 PM by spooky people in robes - the Brass Realm was created when a particularly powerful and stubborn sorcerer decided that if Hell wasn't real, he'd make it real, lakes of fire and all. Layered demiplane as it is it doesn't actually have the metaphysical power to hold human souls without their consent, and maintains an entirely one-sided rivalry with the Netherworld. You and your fellow demons do your utmost to hide your origin and act as cool as you can, not because learning the truth would give anyone power over you but because it is super embarrassing. Oh, the summoning clause is pretty inconvenient, too.

[ ] Drawn to a moonlit grove with wild song and dance - the Realm of the Fae has always been just sideways from the realm of humans, and there's enough overlap that crossing over is easy with the right combination of metaphysical characteristics. Of course, that cuts both ways.

[ ] Other (make one up!)

And of course you wouldn't be on this blue marble without a good reason. What is it?

[ ] Education - You didn't have a lot of opportunities to learn new things on your old world; at least not these new things! You were entered into an educational program of the appropriate age. Balance fighting villains with making friends, finishing projects, joining clubs, and hopefully graduating!
-[ ] High School
-[ ] Undergraduate University
-[ ] Postgraduate University

[ ] Anthropology - You're here to study human Culture, that weird, wild thing that it is that gives rise to bell-bottoms and fidget spinners and King Arthur and Chang'e. The whole supervillains thing is actually a fascinating part of Culture too, you wonder if you'll have the chance to interview some?

[ ] Environmental Preservation - Human Culture has a long tradition of aliens coming in and telling them to stop polluting the environment. Of course, super-battles are incredibly destructive so maybe you can take some time away from planting trees to help out with that.

[ ] Entrepreneurship - You want to build a business, invent products, sell people things, and otherwise participate in this grand experiment called Capitalism. Of course a hero on the cover is great for brand recognition, and your unusual origin gives you something unique to offer as well.

[ ] Teaching - You don't want to attend schools, you want to build them. Or at least lecture at them. You have so much to teach these funny pink apes, they probably don't even know what they're missing. Of course when villains rear their ugly heads you'll want to make use of your PHD in buttkicking.

[ ] Fame! - You want to become loved and/or feared by all. To be adored by hordes of fans? You can't imagine anything better. And what could be an easier road to fame than openly flaunting your supernatural nature?

[ ] Friendship - You didn't really fit in in your old realm and didn't have a lot of friends. This is a fresh start and hopefully things will go better this time.

[ ] Artifice - You don't necessarily want to build a business, you just want to make cool stuff. And test it out in live environments. Big and active live environments. It's not mad science (or mad witchery) if you're perfectly sane, right?

[ ] The Hunt - You've chased them 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round the flames of perdition before you give them up! You're hunting someone and you've tracked them here. But you've got to pay the bills while you do.

[ ] Power! - You're in this to push the envelope, whether scientifically or technologically or magically.

[ ] Thrills and Experience - You're just in this for the ride, man. Who knows what the future will bring?

[ ] Other (Make one up!)

This will be an approval vote like the last, with a four hour moratorium on voting in case people want to make write-ins.
 
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1. I want to be a teacher!
Since time beyond reckoning you battled the people beyond the Rift, fighting them to try and stop the environmental devastation of your home, to stop the constant seeping of plastic and heavy metals that somehow traveled across when saltwater couldn't. To stop the poisoning of your lands, to stop the deaths of the plants and small ones. Young though you were among the Kaiju you fought too, battling against tiny but prickly pink things and hot exploding metal things and average-sized metal enemies. You battled for the survival of your home with all the strength that made you the dominant people and you wreaked untold devastation upon their spires.

How?

[ ] You can expel superheated plasma with your breath
[ ] You can shoot lasers from your eyes
[ ] You can extend needle-like projections with unerring accuracy
[ ] You are a consummate creature of the sea and can manipulate water
[ ] You're just really, really strong and tough, even for a kaiju
[ ] Other! (What's your kaiju power?)

Your visage struck fear into the hearts of pink things and they would scatter at your approach!

What is that visage?

[ ] Very traditional, you have a tough hide, powerful jaws and a long reptilian tail
[ ] Feelers and giant, soft moth wings, but don't mistake you for soft, you are fierce!
[ ] Great leathery wings and powerful claws
[ ] A heavy, impenetrable shell on your back and a strong snapping beak
[ ] Lots of hair, like a giant version of a Human's evolutionary ancestor
[ ] Feathers and talons and a sharp beak
[ ] Other! (What do you look like? Bear in mind that your Size Limiter will let you pass for mostly-human if you so desire.)

Then, somehow, impossibly, someone tried talking. Your people learned that the metal things turned out to be the creations of the pink things, and they could make more. They learned why you fought; what they were doing to your world. Under the watchful gaze of your people the pink things traversed the rift, created more metal things that sucked in and consumed the plastics and heavy metals. They undid the damage and saved your world.

Lifetimes of conflict and your salvation was given by the very enemies who had doomed you. Your King deemed this an acceptable end to the conflict, suspicious though the new metal things were.

Then the pink things, the Humans, tried to teach you how the metal things worked. How to keep them working. They made the gears and levers and filters very large, for their size, or exactly right, for yours. It was a long process, which you, being young, watched a great deal of.

It intrigued you. Not only the machines, which were fascinating in their own way now that you could observe them without danger, but their way of learning from each other, of resolving difficulties when they arose, and their way of teaching something that your people needed to learn very badly even when it was frustrating. Even when it was infuriating.

It stuck with you when you went home, the war over, and tried to figure out what to do with yourself. The life you had led before just didn't seem exciting any more.

You decided. You would traverse the rift, and you would become like those people who ended the war. Building machines was a little beyond you right now, but figuring out how Humans thought, how they learned, that was a good first step! And once you had learned, you would figure out how to teach others. You asked everything you could of your fellows and of the Humans that hadn't left. You learned many new words for many new things and many new words for many old things, but it only left you with an appetite for more.

Your presence on the other side was not exactly welcome. Ships and helicopters (for you knew the words for these now) buzzed around you like insects as your form cast a shadow across a human City. A Human in an average-sized metal thing (it was called a Mecha, as it turned out) shouted at you, their small voice amplified by their Mecha until it was actually something you didn't have to try hard to hear.

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

You know them. You fought them. They are...

[ ] A suave, genteel negotiator and consummate professional
[ ] A young Human...
-[ ] Who never wanted to fight.
-[ ] Who absolutely wanted to fight
-[ ] Who never knew anything but fighting existed
[ ] A pair of Humans so thoroughly synchronized they're like one person
[ ] One of a group of five such pilots. Where are the rest of them?
[ ] A crude Human who cobbled their Mecha together. Very unpredictable and dangerous!
[ ] Other (Who is your first Human contact?)

But they - the "pilot" certainly but also all humans - are unprepared for your reply. Your proclamation roars over an entire City, battering helicopters backward and swamping beaches with the sheer force of its enthusiasm (or maybe that's just its volume and air pressure).

"I want to be a teacher!"
 
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2. Science and Culture
It turns out that being a teacher is complicated. That fateful day on the beach, your great moth wings shimmering blue and green and purple and white, blotting out the sun in some places and casting brilliant lights on the rest, that was the beginning of a journey. You know you can see it through, for the simple reason that you had the courage to try in the first place.

But still, complicated. The Humans who taught your people to use the filter-machines made it look easy (if teaching an impatient Kaiju with no technical skills how to maintain machines could be called easy), but what you hadn't realized is that you need to put in a ton of work before you can even start to try.

You've enfolded your wings and had a sit-down in a field with a roiling mass of Humans that are trying to build and fit you for some kind of bracelet. They explain that it will let you actually fit inside the buildings where Teaching how to Teach happens and also help you not crush whatever you land on, which are both things that you definitely want, and the fact that they keep bringing cute little cups full of sugar-water to keep you satisfied speaks well of their hospitality.

The first time the gemmed band clinks into place around one of your legs you feel a new sense, for want of a better word, that you hadn't had before. You are aware that you are both EXTREMELY HUGE and EXTREMELY MOTH. This is exactly as you should be, but now it's also something that you can change. It's like your ability to create laser beams with your eyes or how to sense radio waves, you know how to use it and suddenly always have and it would be very strange to describe it to someone who did not possess it. The world around you grows and grows as you consider what it would be like to be NOT EXTREMELY HUGE. You stop when you're only as tall as a Human building and suddenly realize that the cute little cups of sugar-water have been enormous at their scale, but it is progress! Over the course of the next few days you work on it and by the end you've gotten yourself down small enough that you can actually resolve individual Human features. Size modulation! It's an incredible power and they're just giving it to you. And what curious creatures they are now that you can see them properly.

That's something that comes closer to the forefront as you experiment with being NOT EXTREMELY MOTH. Your benefactors explain that this will help you fit better into human society - which seems less than crucial until they explain that being too disruptive will make lessons more difficult, at which point you determine that it is very crucial. At the very minimum of both you look like a tall (you will never not be at least a little bit Huge) Human woman with beautiful moth wings and feelers coming out of your head (you will never not be at least a little bit Moth) to complement your fluffy, pale white hair. The Humans tell you that this will be fine; a number of Humans were born in not-completely-Human shapes thanks to what they call "genetic engineering" so if a Human has cat-features or bull-features or moth-features it's not unusual.

This gets you excited and you ask a lot of questions about how other Kaiju might pass as human like this in case they want to visit too and get a lot of nervous chuckles and not a lot of concrete answers.

The fine details of what needed to happen to bring it about go way over your head (which is not as hard as it used to be), but once you are the right size they set you up with housing (not that you actually need shelter from the elements, but it is apparently an important part of socialization) and a venue in which to spend a "year" cramming Human information into your brain like packing snow into a crevasse.

Although they do their best to give you a broad education there just isn't time for everything and if you have to be honest there are things that are just plain more interesting to you than others!

What are you especially good at? (This need not necessarily correlate to what you eventually teach (you learned a bit of everything), but it'll definitely help. Approval vote; the top will be your major educational specialization, the 2nd your minor.)

[ ] Life Sciences (Bio/Chem)
[ ] Earth Sciences (Physics/Geology)
[ ] Mathematics (Math/Statistics)
[ ] Social Studies (History/Civics)
[ ] Cultural Studies (Literature/Art/Music)
[ ] Physical Education (Fitness/Health)
[ ] Other (Write-in)

Of course they tried to give you some of their culture, but you did a lot of investigation on your own! Your Human contact is too young to help much with teaching you information, but as you meet up for drinks (diet soda for him, a bottle of hot sauce for you) you exchange your discoveries in the world of culture! There's more Human culture than any being can consume, so you have to focus your efforts on... (Vote for at least two; one will be your personal interest, the other will be what the mecha pilot tries to get you into.)

[ ] Fashion. Humans cover themselves in all sorts of strange things, hides and plant fibers and sometimes actual meat, and seem to have a competition on how outlandish they can be about it. But there's one thing you do understand: hats. Hats are cool.
[ ] Art and Photography. Your people do have art, but the sheer variety and precision of it that humans have developed is kind of staggering. And these "cameras" are wild.
[ ] Tabletop roleplaying. Kaiju have a strong oral tradition (comes with being too big for writing), so this storytelling thing is all you.
[ ] Genre novels and films. Humans are, as it turns out, really good at making things up.
-[ ] What genre?
[ ] Karaoke. Singing has a lot in common with roaring, after all, and competitive roaring is a lot of fun.
[ ] Collectible card games. A million combinations to consider, it's all about puzzling out intricate systems to figure out which are the best!
[ ] Miniature wargames. It's a little disappointing what they call "giant" monsters, but the little guys with chainsaw swords are fun.
[ ] Comic books. Apparently the particularly prickly Humans were called Heroes.
[ ] Toho films. They really thought these things about your people? Although "Mothra, Protector of the Earth" sounds either neat or exceedingly self-referential.
[ ] Geocaching. Hunting for hidden treasure is one of the best parts of being not extremely huge!
[ ] Other (The entire tapestry of Human Culture)
 
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3. Opportunity Knocks
"We can do this in real life, you know," you say as you flip through the rulebook, trying to find something that says your little Dreadnought doesn't explode in flames against its foe. The big thing it's fighting doesn't have to deal with hit locations! Monstrous Creature rules are bullshit! "I am a giant monster and you have an actual giant robot."

"Yeah," your old enemy looks at his feet, eyes edging up at the board of terrain and carefully-painted miniatures, "but this way nobody gets hurt. It's clean. Simple. Safe."

Oh. Well, when he puts it that way. Everyone takes their turn, and everything is neat and organized, and the game always ends after a set number of rounds before it gets tiresome. Compared to the real thing you have to admit it's extremely polite and proper and a little bit cute.

Even if describing this rulebook as "simple" is a bad joke, it makes almost as much sense upside-down as right-side up and, you really have to emphasize, Monstrous Creature rules are bullshit.

You shut the book with a snap, which he takes as a sign to move your dreadnought off the board.

"You keep winning," it's not exactly a pout, it's more like… puffing out your cheeks and making a face.

This actually does get him to smile a little. "You keep going for the Carnifex! It's not a scoring piece, you don't need to beat it to win."

"Right, right, go for the objectives," you sigh. He really doesn't understand that all your instincts are telling you that the biggest opponent is the most important, even when it's pretend.

"Want to keep going? This is pretty much decided but you can maybe still pull it off."

Right. Objectives. You survey the board. You're nowhere near the objective points and trying to push his units off them would involve a great many rounds of shooting. Rounds you don't have, especially considering that lascannons are absolutely guaranteed to eliminate gaunts but only a few at once.

"No, think you've got this one. Tell me about the Academy."

Today's meetup hadn't been entirely for fun, he had texted that his enigmatic father had found an opportunity for you. An academy for troubled youths, repurposed from an old shrine, in need of a substitute after the teacher went on… extended medical leave.

He hands you a folder - you immediately pass over the photos of the building to get to the class photos. Oh! This Genetic Engineering thing where Humans have cool features hasn't been very common in your time learning how to teach, but this lot have an incredible variety! There are ones that look like they're sparkling, several with horns on their heads and tails (and some with just horns), ones with elongated teeth… yes, this will absolutely do.

There are also staff photos - the staff are quite exceptional too. In fact in all your searching it looks like only a few unmodified Humans are in attendance at all. This is great, you'll fit right in!

Hmm, they've got names under them too. "The headmaster's name is The Sultana of Burning Sands? Is that a normal human name?"

"Not even a little bit. I asked, she's… eccentric."

"Eccentric?"

"A total drama queen."

You examine the picture, the tall, pale, red-haired woman with her chin high and her eyes bright and the background clearly a photoshopped explosion that she isn't looking at. Yes, she might well be a queen among Humans. Nothing compared to King Ghidorah, of course, but nevertheless!

"She looks nice!"

"Great, I'm sure you'll be the best of friends," he grimaces, and you're not exactly sure why. "It seems weird, but human careers have this thing where they start at the bottom. You'll work your way to better positions as time goes on."

You think about it, your wings fluttering slowly as you lose yourself in thought. "Oh!" you stop, "it's very remote, will we still be able to meet like this? You still need to help me organize this Ryuutama thing."

"I'll figure something out, don't worry," he assures you.

[ ] A position as a Substitute Teacher at an academy of strange Humans! Gladly accept.
[ ] A year isn't quite enough time for all the information you need, is it? Keep learning.
[ ] You really had your heart set on making your own school.
[ ] Other (Write-In)
 
4. Academy of the Holy Wound
"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

This is… not the way you expected your first staff meeting to go. The Sultana of Burning Sands is even more of a presence in the flesh - you expect that the sheer confidence she radiates could cow anyone smaller than a bus. The Academy looked so respectable! All nice old wood and open spaces, they had kept the shrine aesthetic even as they converted it into a school. You had expected the Headmaster to be very traditional. Stately, perhaps. Wasn't she supposed to be a queen of some kind?

"Ah, Sultana, you are surely aware of my backgroun-" you start.

She cuts you off. "One, either use my full name or call me Sandy. Two, come on! You have to be tough to make it here, newbie. I want to see how you stack up." She puffs out her chest and levels her gaze with you, daring you to make a move.

You look to the rest of the teachers in the cozy little staff room, who are looking on with a mix of amusement, annoyance and worry.

Madame Butterfly is a skinny Human with brown eyes and auburn hair that flows nearly to the ground. You tried that particular arrangement when you were adjusting your own form and kept tripping over it (you eventually settled for back-length), but she walks around it like it's an extension of her body and moves with a grace that's almost uncanny. Small wonder she's the arts and Culture teacher. You have to wonder if she also studies Entomology, because she also seems to have figured out a way to be constantly surrounded by colorful butterflies. She has a cocky half-smile on her face and nods to you. "Well, go on, best not to keep the Headmaster waiting."

The Mathematics teacher Zin'ar is almost as tall as you, slimmer even than Butterfly and quite pale, with long purple hair that doesn't quite move as they do - wigs are a fascinating part of Human appearance and if your Size Limiter's NOT EXTREMELY MOTH scale hadn't had an option for hair you would have loved to try them out. You might still. They push their glasses up on their nose, dark eyes looking at you analytically. "Perhaps you should be gentle," they say quietly.

"Damn it, 'tana, this is ridiculous," Civics teacher Hildr is the embodiment of your idea of an absolute professional, platinum-blonde hair and blue eyes and a sharp black suit that almost lets you forget the spear she has leaned against the wall. She claimed it was medical, which you're not sure is more reassuring or less. But you're glad she's pulling for you here, her hands on her hips, standing against the Headmaster. "New girl, you don't have to let her haze you." Haze. A state of limited visibility, or a mental state of confusion or obscurity. What a strange word to use.

"Well, if it goes horribly wrong, I nominate myself for replacement Headmaster," the Economics and Physical Education teacher Paratha grins and thumps her large red lizardlike tail against the copier in anticipation. In contrast to the skinnier Humans she's got muscles on her muscles and horns on her head and has been eating a meal so spicy you can feel the heat from it from here, and you're a person who drinks Human hot sauce by the bottle for the pleasantly warm kick. You're pretty sure people aren't supposed to eat at staff meetings but everyone seems to be letting her get away with it. She's got as strong a presence as Sultana, but she seems to be keeping it reigned in for now.

You can't see a single thing odd about with your fellow sciences teacher Miss Rappaccini, who seems for all the world like a proper and polite young Human who simply has an affectation for covering her skin - long gloves and a long dress and also a hat over her head and a facemask; the only bit of her uncovered is her green eyes. You aren't particularly versed in Human fashion but you've seen Humans that cover themselves entirely except for the eyes and even a recent trend in visor technology where they cover themselves entirely, so that may just be something she does. She looks concerned, but says nothing.

Well?

[ ] Well, she is asking you to hit her as hard as you can. Oblige her.
[ ] She might be a very confident Human but she really doesn't know what she's asking. Go easy.
[ ] This is highly unprofessional! And maybe a secret test of character or something. Refuse.
[ ] Other (Write-in)
 
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