Supersonic Swords and Dynamik Warriors

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Hi!

This is a quest that will take you on an adventure through a vast and crumbling world...
Location
UK
Hi!

This is a quest that will take you on an adventure through a vast and crumbling world. Experience Dynamiks, the magic of the land, seek wealth and fame, or endure battles at supersonic speeds.

Live through the eyes of a poor 17 year old just as ignorant of his situation as you are. Years will pass as you control him from the beginning of adulthood to old age... if you survive. Learn of the tools at your disposal and do not hesitate to explore unusual options. Plan, plot and devise strategies to guide him! His life depends on it.

To play:
-Read the Quest rules
-Vote!

I am for a bi-weekly posting schedule.




Story posts

-One
-Two
-Three
-Four




Voting is free-form. Suggest any plan you want, and the highest voted plan is put into action. Type this to vote for Plan A:

[X] Plan A

If no plan is available, the character will act autonomously. If a plan is interrupted, the character will try to adapt. If the plan fails or cannot be realized, it is cancelled and you must vote for a new or updated plan.



Dice rolls:

D100 dice are used. Plans are split up into Tasks, either by you or by the character. Trying to complete Tasks leads to Events taking place. Each Event faces a character with a certain number of Challenges, each with their success thresholds. The character rolls D100 dice equal to their skill level in the skill relevant to the Challenge. If the character rolls a higher number than the threshold, the Challenge is succeeded. If all Challenges are succeeded, the Event is passed. Passing enough Events resolves the situation and the Task is completed.

For example, the character must outrun a rival to the bottom of a hill. A Challenge is created involving the skills Speed and Stability. The character has 5 points in Speed and 2 in Stability. The opponent has 4 points in Speed and 4 points in Stability. The success threshold for Speed is relative (greater than the rival's) and that for Stability is absolute (100).

The character rolls 5D100 for Speed and 2D100 for Stability. The results are 298 and 54 respectively. The rival rolls 212 and 203.

The character wins the Speed challenge but fails the Stability challenge. The result is a slip and fall.

Special Dice rules:

-Challenges failed at less than 10% of the threshold are critical fails. More severe consequences will result from these. Challenges won at more than 200% are critical wins. Bonuses will result from these.
-Challenges that require a skill that the character does not have are rolled with dedicated replacement skills (such as Deception for an Intelligence roll) or with alternative skills with a 25% negative modifier (such as Intimidation for an Intelligence roll). If the character has no relevant skills suited to the situation, the character suffers a critical fail.
-If a relative Challenge is issued, the character usually gains knowledge of the rival's skill points. The character always has full knowledge of allies' Basic skill points, and of Special skill points when witnessed in action.

Skills:

There are three main categories: Basic, Special and Combat. Basic skills are skills every person has. These include:
-Strength
-Dexterity
-Endurance
-Wounds
-Intelligence
-Perception
-Resolve
-Social
Special skills will be gained over the course of the quest. Two are available from the start:
-Mana Capacity
-Intimidation
Combat skills are active only in certain situations. You have two available:
-Stability
-Initiative

Skills relate to either abilities relative to other people, or to specific numbers with real-world equivalents. Increasing a skill is done by gaining Basic or Combat experience points. These are distributed by me according to the Challenges met. Special skill experience can only be gained by using the specific special skill.
A skill only gains a level if the character spends time training the skill. Basic skills only require that time be set aside. Combat skills require a training partner to advance. Special skills require a teacher with a higher skill level to advance.

Experience requirements gradually increase. The experience requirement increases by 1XP per level. For example, level 12 will cost 12 XP, and level 13 costs 3 XP. The total XP to reach level 14 is 105.

Equipment and Dynamiks:

Equipment grants bonuses to the skill's dice rolls. Most equipment has an associated Special skill that increases with the character's familiarity with it. Advancing a familiarity Special Skill adds that skill's points to the dice roll.

Dynamiks have minimum skill level requirements. Most can only used if the character has a specific Special skill.

Combat:

Combat is divided into Rounds and Phases. A round consists of multiple phases. Opening Phase is where combat begins. Elements of surprise or deception have an effect here. Combat Phases involve a number of Events and Challenges, typically Speed challenges, followed by Dexterity/Strength challenges and finished by damage-related challenges or Special skill use. Failing a Challenge leads to a Wound being taken. Critical fails leads to severe consequences or Instant Death.
Group combat uses the 'speed ladder' concept. Combatants are ranked according to their Initiative, then by their movement skills. People with higher initiative act first. Speed is then taken into account.

The Final phase usually involves psychological elements, such as Resolve check. If a fatal wound has not been dealt yet and the opponent is in a defenceless position, the character might still fail to execute their strike.

After the Round is complete, the second Round begins if there are any combatants remaining. This continues until only the victors remain or Combat ends.

Death:

The character can die.
This can be from old age, combat or a host of other misfortunes. The Quest will continue from the perspective of the person closest to the character, either a heir, relative or close friend.


XP required: Current skill level.
Basic Skills:
-Strength: 1
-Dexterity: 1
-Endurance: 1
-Wounds: 2
-Intelligence: 1
-Perception: 1
-Resolve: 1
-Social: 1
Special skills will be gained over the course of the quest. Two are available from the start:
-Mana Capacity: 0
-Intimidation: 1
Combat skills are active only in certain situations. You have two available:
-Stability: 1
-Initiative: 1

Resolve:
Rated from 0 to 1000, with 0 equal to choosing to breathe, 100 equal to overcoming awkwardness or fear, 500 equal to ignoring major injuries or trauma, and 1000 equal to gleefully killing yourself or loved ones.

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One
One:

It was a beautiful day.

It was John's Opening!

At 15, he was a bit old for an Opening. It was usually done on younger kids, but he was from a poor family that had just scrounged up enough money to pay for one kid.

The villagers gathered around the boy sat on a stool, filling the village's square from end to end. John was shirtless but didn't mind the cold air. His happiness warmed him and those around him, their breath rising like smoke.

John's parents stood at the center, taking up their share of the attention. John beamed a smile at his older brother through the crowd, who conceded a grin in return. An Opening cost money most families would have spent on food or clothes in these hard time, involving expensive inks and a handsomely paid Scribe. Going forward with it made John and his family minor celebrities.

The Scribe in question was a thin and elderly man, darker skinned than most and looking no better than a bundle of sticks propping up mottled and patched robes. He stood behind John, barely able to look over the boy's shoulders.

A hush fell over the crowd. The Opening was going to begin. Daniel stopped feigning disinterest and scrambled onto the low stone wall that surrounded the square.

The Scribe held a needle in one hand and a bowl of ink in the other. He dipped the needle in the ink, and poked John in the back with it. John concentrated on not moving. The Scribe's hand went back for more ink then darted forwards into his skin again. The wrinkled fingers moved quicker now. They went back and forth in a blur.

The silence was broken by a raucous cheer. John's father. The crowd joined, fascination replaced by merriment.

John forced another smile through gritted teeth. He could feel the pain dulling and returning as the tattoo moved up his back and hit fresh skin. Looking around, he spotted his brother on the roof of a nearby house, looking down at him. He knew Daniel would be proud of him now! John tried to wave, but his hand was firmly pushed down.

"Do not move!" the Scribe rumbled behind him.

Daniel lay down on the uneven thatching of a house overlooking the square. It was empty until the merchants returned, so no-one would mind. The villagers couldn't see him, so he let himself scowl. He'd repeated to John over and over that he shouldn't move, to put on a brave face and make their parents proud. He was fidgeting already! And there was the Scribe slapping him. Idiot!

The tattoo was nearly done.

Thick black bars lined the lower back, connected by thinner vertical lines in red. The Scribe's needle was now painting in a complex pattern between the boy's shoulders.

John tensed as the needle struck the thinner skin of his nape. The needle never dwelled long enough for him to feel it, but it was followed by pin-pricks of pain. Good pain. If his Opening was successful, he'd make his parents a lot of work and many sessions with the Scribe would follow.

The crowd had thinned by now. A few villagers had lost interest, others had left to prepare for the feast. Daniel could see his brother better now. The boy's back was black, red and pink now. His parents had chosen his younger brother over him. He understood why, really. Money was tight, there was a war going on and John was stronger and healthier. Daniel even accepted the fact that John was going to see the outside world and come back rich, like they had dreamt of as little kids. Even so, he felt a pang of envy.

Thinking of a life outside of their cold and isolated village made him stare at the horizon, and that was when he spotted a glint. It wasn't there anymore, likely a half-imagined afterimage…. then it happened again.

Daniel stared, but forgot about it when he spotted John trying to wave again. The idiot!

John's skin felt like on fire. His muscles had started cramping and he couldn't hold up his smile anymore. However, one look at his parents standing nearby made it feel like everything was alright. His father laid a palm on his hand. It was a rare gesture of kindness from the man. John looked up to him as though he still was the giant from his childhood.

"Ah!" John exclaimed.

The needle paused. The boy felt a bony thumb rub a spot on the back of his head. The flurry of movement reprised before he could comment.

John could hear his heart beating in his ears. Lub-dub… lub-dub… the tattoo was nearly finished. As soon as the circle on his head was connected to the figures on his back, he would become a Dynamiks user. He'd become very strong and very fast and all the looks of wonder on the villager's faces would become admiration! He'd never have to eat stale bread made from the bland wheat the village grew in the fields… why was his heart beating so loudly?

Daniel watched as the crowd stopped milling about. Maybe they are growing cold, he wondered. The sound must be their feet stamping to keep warm. Distracted from his brother, his thoughts returned to the glints of light from earlier. What could they have been? The brightly painted banners of a noble? No, they wouldn't have shone so bright. It had to be something metallic… like the merchants' guards! Those were imposing men, tattooed from head to toe in complex arrays of lines, figures and diagrams.

A thought struck him.
The merchants wouldn't arrive for another two weeks--

Thud!

THUD!

Two figures landed in the village square with a deafening crash. Robed villagers flew from the impact, others squirted blood in the middle of the crater. As the dust settled, a third figure skidded to a halt behind them.

Daniel's eyes widened to saucers. Three men in knightly armor, sharp with aerodynamic spikes and sloped plating. Red hot wings glowed on their backs. Long, sharp swords swung from their belts.

His brother--

One of them pulled out an iron chain. With a flick, it ripped a dozen villagers in half. Limbs tumbled in the air and bounced on the pile of bodies. The Scribe's blood mixed with the black ink, soaking his robes.

Where was John?!

Daniel tried to move. He was frozen in terror. An instant of conscience told him these were Free Federation soldiers. Then, his mind seized up.

John!

A fourth figure landed in front of the others, toppling the stone wall surrounding the square. He bore no visible plating, only a dark grey skeleton of metal. Gold highlights made him shine in the cold sunlight.

A mage!

The mage spoke.

"Run, batards!"

He spoke in Franco. Everyone learnt Franco to trade. The voice crackled and boomed, unnaturally amplified.

"Run on pain of death!"

Daniel's ears hurt. He noticed villagers rush to their feet, abandoning belongings and clothes in their haste. John! The thought kept him from running.

The mage made a circular gesture in the air. The three other invaders hopped to his position. They had congregated just under the roof Daniel was hanging on to.

Seconds stretched to years.

Daniel heard a wet crack. He dared not imagine what it was. Faintly, he heard another heartbeat. He dreaded the sound now. The beats were getting louder. More Federation soldiers?

He saw the soldiers below him split up. In an instant, they set up position behind the houses surrounding the village square. Thump thump thump.

Daniel's mind crawled to an understanding. They are defending the place, from whoever was coming. The mage kicked in a door and entered, disappearing from sight. The armored soldiers crouched behind stone walls.

THUMPthump.

Silver points of light arced into the sky. Daniels' mouth opened widened in hope. Empire!

His eyes barely followed the rest.

The first Empire knight tore into the roof of a building adjacent the square, and emerged through the wall as a sideways blur. The second knight landed in the square's center and was immediately impaled by two spears.

Sparks flashed. Metal rang and broke. A blinding spear of lightning ignited the thatched roofs around the square. The house Daniel was on shuddered, and he fell into a pile of hay, stone and dust. Daniel barely whimpered before darkness closed his eyes.



The air was thick and scratched his throat. Smoke. Daniel tried to stand. Something sharp dug into his back. John! His brother's face, smiling, appeared to him. Daniel ignored the pain and pushed himself out of the rubble with a grunt.

He clambered forwards. The sun was obscured by dark clouds, so he guided himself by firelight. This was his home going up in flames. He remembered the neighbours building the houses stone by stone, bale by bale. He cared not.

Daniel reached the pile of bodies in the village square. His clothes had been ripped, he sported bruises and cuts and his lungs scratched for air.

John!

The thought washed away all concerns and pushed him into the limbs of relatives and friends. He dug through broken bones and scarred flesh. His hands wiped away the blood from cold faces to identify them.

John was not among the bodies.

His heart fluttered. His brother had been taken. Daniel remembered the stories. Federation troops raiding villages like theirs, stealing away young men and women. They were true, it seemed.

Daniel slumped onto his back. Blood and mud wet his hair. The fires were growing taller, the smoke heavier. He felt the ground vibrate from far-away impacts. He couldn't care.

It was supposed to be a beautiful day.



You play as Daniel.
Vote on what to do. You have until Saturday 10/12/16, at 10PM UTC.

You may ask questions and Daniel will answer in character. Start the questions with "To Daniel...".

Good luck!​
 
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I am not sure that I know what to wote about?

Word of advice, most people visit new threads just after they get the alarm - and if the story doesn't have any content, they don't put it into watched list, so they don't know that the story is updated.

It is much better to put some good quality prologue into the opening post to build the reader base.
 
I am not sure that I know what to wote about?

Word of advice, most people visit new threads just after they get the alarm - and if the story doesn't have any content, they don't put it into watched list, so they don't know that the story is updated.

It is much better to put some good quality prologue into the opening post to build the reader base.

Thank you for the suggestion. Is linking the first post sufficient?
 
Thank you for the suggestion. Is linking the first post sufficient?

If you post the first content post immediately (~5-10 minutes) after thread creation, sure. If I were you, I would create a new thread for this story and fill it with the content immediately after creation - so people who get notification would be able to read the story and like/rewiev/follow it.

Usually QM here at SufficientVelocity provide several default options like

[X] John. They took him, but they couldn't take him too far yet! Daniel decides to go looking for John.
[X] There are some basements in the village; perhaps there is someone in one of them?
[X] Write - in.

That said, I like the setting and writing style.
 
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If you post the first content post immediately (~5-10 minutes) after thread creation, sure. If I were you, I would create a new thread for this story and fill it with the content immediately after creation - so people who get notification would be able to read the story and like/rewiev/follow it.

Usually QM here at SufficientVelocity provide several default options like

[X] John. They took him, but they couldn't take him too far yet! Daniel decides to go looking for John.
[X] There are some basements in the village; perhaps there is someone in one of them?
[X] Write - in.

That said, I like the setting and writing style.

I don't see the option to delete this thread, and I don't want to tread on any rules I might not have knowledge of yet....

That said, I'll keep your words in mind. If the quest doesn't take off, I'll create a new thread.

I don't want to provide default options. I want players to explore the world in two ways:
-through the story, obviously. (you might have noticed it is more scripted than usual quests)
-through asking questions here, such as :
"To Daniel: how far do you think John has gone?"

It'll be a way to provide knowledge from the characters to the player directly without waiting for an update or QM intervention to supply it.

Thanks for taking a liking to the first post. I'll refine my narrative voice soon.
 
The setting is interesting, but I can't say I love the writing. It seems oddly stiff - the closest thing I can say it reminds me of is someone doing a voice description of a tv show, mixed with the usual stuff you get with a third-person limited omniscient past-tense POV. All together, it takes really powerful images and turns of phrase - "he dug through broken bones and scarred flesh" - and stiffens them, reducing the impact.

That said, beyond the style, I like the ideas, images, and characters. I'll be following this, and encourage to try changing up your sentence structures and focusing on using more emotion to heighten the impact of your imagery.

Also, using full-page justification for the text feels off to me - it gives a nicer overal typographic flow, but makes actually reading the text difficult. Perhaps switch to left-hand justification and see how you like it? I would make for an easier reading experience.
 
The setting is interesting, but I can't say I love the writing. It seems oddly stiff - the closest thing I can say it reminds me of is someone doing a voice description of a tv show, mixed with the usual stuff you get with a third-person limited omniscient past-tense POV. All together, it takes really powerful images and turns of phrase - "he dug through broken bones and scarred flesh" - and stiffens them, reducing the impact.

That said, beyond the style, I like the ideas, images, and characters. I'll be following this, and encourage to try changing up your sentence structures and focusing on using more emotion to heighten the impact of your imagery.

Also, using full-page justification for the text feels off to me - it gives a nicer overal typographic flow, but makes actually reading the text difficult. Perhaps switch to left-hand justification and see how you like it? I would make for an easier reading experience.

Thank you for your input. I mostly check the forum on my mobile phone, so I hadn't noticed the problem with justification.

With regards to the writing, I'm still settling on a narrative voice. I think the 'stiffness' solution can be solved by greater exposition and longer posts. I didn't think it was appropriate for the very first post though, and maybe the sense of urgency I was trying to instil compounded the problem.

Would you like to vote on a plan or ask questions to Daniel?
 
For what it's worth, I don't think more exposition is the answer here. You're telling us plenty, but the way you're delivering it feels very technical. If you want to convey urgency, nothing works better than contrast. The old adage holds true: show, don't tell. On the other hand, if you want to see spareness of grammar and construction used really well, read a couple passages of The Road by Cormac McCarthy - that's also a direction you could go. Brandon Sanderson takes spareness of prose in another direction, where the prose exists solely to convey the plot and world behind it, without becoming a literary tool in its own right.
 
For what it's worth, I don't think more exposition is the answer here. You're telling us plenty, but the way you're delivering it feels very technical. If you want to convey urgency, nothing works better than contrast. The old adage holds true: show, don't tell. On the other hand, if you want to see spareness of grammar and construction used really well, read a couple passages of The Road by Cormac McCarthy - that's also a direction you could go. Brandon Sanderson takes spareness of prose in another direction, where the prose exists solely to convey the plot and world behind it, without becoming a literary tool in its own right.

I've never read anything by McCarthy, but I should.

Again, thank you for your contributions.
 
This quest looks interesting, but I have to echo Swimmingly's complaints about the writing. It switches tone and perspective far too fast for my taste.
 
To Daniel: Is there anyone else around you? Do you see the Mage from earlier?

I'm thinking trying to talk to the defenders might be the best way to go about trying to find John. They might have some knowledge of the raiders location.
 
To Daniel: Is there anyone else around you? Do you see the Mage from earlier?

I'm thinking trying to talk to the defenders might be the best way to go about trying to find John. They might have some knowledge of the raiders location.
From Daniel:
I am lying on my back, in front of a cluster of bodied and surrounded by fires and smoke. I did not see anyone after emerging from the rubble, but I cannot see far through the smoke. I do not suspect anyone stayed behind after the Mage ordered them to run.

I do not see the Mage, and I suspect that he did not stick around after the fight.

Thank you for participating, @Sickul .
 
[X] Plan Search for Survivors
-Escape from the burning village
-Try and find the villagers who escaped earlier
-Ask them if any of them saw where the Federation went to or really any information about the battle and its outcome


This is just a preliminary plan to hopefully give us a starting point. Gonna try and think of some questions for Daniel, I'm guessing we'll get more setting info since he's not in a good position right now. Oh here's a thought.

To Daniel: Is there anything you know to be valuable in the village?
 
[X] Plan Search for Survivors
-Escape from the burning village
-Try and find the villagers who escaped earlier
-Ask them if any of them saw where the Federation went to or really any information about the battle and its outcome


This is just a preliminary plan to hopefully give us a starting point. Gonna try and think of some questions for Daniel, I'm guessing we'll get more setting info since he's not in a good position right now. Oh here's a thought.

To Daniel: Is there anything you know to be valuable in the village?

From Daniel:
Breuin Village started out as a farmer's village. A small cluster of wooden buildings sat next to insulated barns, with dry fields as far as they eyes could see. The villagers found it easier to sell their crops as deeds to passing merchants. Eventually, most of the village's revenue came from servicing, feeding and bedding the passing merchants, and the wooden buildings were replaced by stone-walled homes.

The ownership titles for the surrounding fields are kept in the richest members' houses, those that can afford safes. They are the buildings that surround the village square and are currently on fire.

The same buildings hold a handful of silver plates and knives.

The past few months have been getting harder. The warmer weather makes the southern farms, closer to the cities, more productive. The village has eaten through all of its food reserves.

My family is currently in debt and completely destitute. We spent our remaining coin on John. I own two books that taught me how to read and write, a set of clothes and a few knives. I have one of them in my pockets. The books are worth 100 coins and the knives 2 coins. 10 steel coins have been hidden under my bed, my personal savings.


@Sickul: If participation continues as it is, your plan seems likely to be executed by tomorrow night. Feel free to ask more general questions. This is the time to learn about the world (through Daniels' eyes...) !
 
Hmm ok!

To Daniel: What is the Opening? How much did it cost your family? Can you describe the Federation and the Empire a little for me? Why does the Federation take young men and women? How dangerous do you think looting a house would be right now?
 
Hmm ok!

To Daniel: What is the Opening? How much did it cost your family? Can you describe the Federation and the Empire a little for me? Why does the Federation take young men and women? How dangerous do you think looting a house would be right now?

From Daniel:

The Opening is the first flow of mana from the top of the head the into runes on the rest of the body. Most toddlers are tattooed a circle on the top of their head, above the natural source of mana in the brain. It is expensive to inscribe more complex tattoos that conduct the mana into runes.

It cost over 300 steel coins for the Scribe to trace a new circle, the Stem that runs down the spine and the capacitors that accumulate mana. The more complex runes in red ink that regulate the flow into and out of the capacitors, include safety measures, cost the majority of that amount.

I don't know much more than that about runes and Dynamiks. I know what the basic runes' geometric shapes correspond to, but I can't understand anything more complex.

To give a value to the price of the Opening ceremony, a meal containing a bit of meat costs about 1 steel coin from the Merchant's Inn.

I live in the Stone Empire. We are the people that hid in the Abyssal Mountains when the Long Cold began, and emerged onto the Summer Basketlands. We build great fortresses of stone that dot the landscape.

The Free Federation is a collection of peoples that split away from us and headed west of the Abyssal Mountains. Through treachery and deceit, they destroyed the First Republic from within, forcing our ruling family to become an Empire to defend us from their constant raids and sabotage.

The kidnappings are just one of the evils the Federation incites its people towards. The Opening carries some risk, which the cowards choose not to subject their population to. Instead, they steal away Empire youth and force them to work in labour camps, as train rowers, miners or couriers. They are so brainwashed that they sometimes return to us as members of the raiding parties themselves! Despicable.

I don't think I have it within me to brave the flames to loot the houses. The real valuables are locked away in safes anyways. I'm exhausted, injured, and I can't think straight. My brother has been taken!


@Sickul: Thank you again for asking these questions and getting the quest going.

20 hours of voting left!
 
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To Daniel: What are the extent of your injuries? What did your village do when illness or injury occurred?
 
Well I think I'm more in favor of the search plan now. I had an idea that getting the valuables while there was still time would be a good way to get some money so we could hopefully get our own opening to help us find our brother. But it seems like that is unrealistic from where we are at this second.
 
To Daniel: What are the extent of your injuries? What did your village do when illness or injury occurred?
From Daniel:
I've got scratches and small cuts on my hands, legs and my head hurts. My chest is bruised from when I fell through the roof. I can still move around, but breathing is becoming difficult because of the smoke.

When people had minor illnesses or injuries, we gave them bedrest and sought help from the Phramacist. If it was life-threatening or the injured person's could afford it, we paid a Runner to take them to the nearest city, where they could be treated by doctors in a Hospital.

Welcome to the quest, @Phoenix .
 
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