Super School (Mass Crossover)

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Do you remember high school? The years that everyone either loves or hates with foresight, but most kids aren't happy spending time in.

Well, what if I told you there was a more mystical school for children going to high school? But with a certain career path in mind...

This is the story about the Super School.
Prologue
Super School

Prologue


My name is Izuku Midoriya, and I'm about to travel to a different dimension to become the number one hero!

I always wanted to become the top hero because I looked up to All Might. I want to be the strongest and smartest. To save everyone with a smile on my face, just like All Might. I told myself every day, even before I met All Might and he gave me his Quirk, that I was going to become the top hero in my world. It's why I took so many notes on heroes. And now it was finally going to be true, thanks to this alternative dimension.

Everyone was scared when the other dimension visited, but it was clear they had our best interest in mind. I knew that from the beginning, after all any world with heroes had to be mostly good, right?

The other dimensions had their young heroes coming to the school as well. When I heard that, I wondered if it was even possible for me to become the top hero, because it meant I had to compete against a bunch of other heroes who had experience against real villains, while I had no idea how to control my quirk without breaking my bones. But I'll have to try hard to do so, especially considering just how much help I had. But I told myself I'd never stopped, and I never will.

I was walking out the door to go to school when my mom stopped me.

"Wait, Izuku. Have you got your pocket tissues?" My mom said.

"Yes, I do." I walked to the door.

"Wait! Do you have your handkerchief!?

"Yes, I do!" I opened the door.

"Wait, Izuku!"

I sighed. "Yes?"

She smiled. "Knock it out of the park for me, ok?"

I nodded. "Ok!"

I walked out the door.

When I heard of this school, it was right before I applied to U.A. But when I heard of it; I decided to go there. All Might even approved of it! That relieved me soooooooooooooo much! And now, I get to see even more cool heroes! I couldn't wait!

Was this world like mine? With heroes that save everyone? I certainly hoped so, and I couldn't wait to figure out! I had a big, goofy smile on my face, so I walked ahead.

Ready to do my best.

***

My name is Katsuki Bakugo and I'm going to become the strongest superhero.

What? You don't think I can do it!? I'm already the strongest in the city, besides All Might. And besides All Might, there's no one I can't beat!

And soon, I'll be even stronger than him too!

I'm packing my things and getting ready to go to supposedly the best hero school in the multiverse. My scores in the entrance exam were good enough to make it there. My original plans were to go to U.A. But after the other dimension visited us, all the officials and politicians suggested we help each other. That meant casual dimensional travel and getting to go to one of the few schools that were worthy of me.

Unfortunately, little Deku is coming with me. I don't know how. I get better grades than the damn nerd. And I'm just naturally better than him. My quirk, my hard work, and my talents. I'm better than him in every way. He'll never become better than me. Never. Never.

I'm the most important one. I'll be the best hero in this dimension. One that always wins, just like All Might.

My clown father says I should make friends, but I don't need some nobody extras getting in my way. I already made it with me going to the school, I don't need anyone else. I'm going to win by myself.

And I'll crush everyone that gets in my way.

After I was done packing, I walked to the door. "I'M GOING, MOM!"

"DON'T YELL AS YOU LEAVE!" my mom said. "AND DON'T GET IN TROUBLE!"

"FINE!"

And I walked through the door.

Ready to become the greatest.

***


My name is Shoto Todoroki, and I'm going to reject my father.

I spent my entire life, at least 99% of the life I could remember, rejecting my scumbag of a father, trying to become the best hero without using my fire quirk.

All I need is to practice my ice quirk to be as strong as my father's fire powers. And I'll be strong enough to become the number one with those powers. The ultimate insult to his pride. I can't think of a better punishment.

Why would I punish him? Probably because he pushed my mother to the brink, and…actually, maybe I shouldn't reveal that just yet…

Nothing else matters. I will do anything to hurt my father.

"Shoto!" Fuyumi said.

I shot her a look. I was never really a fan of Fuyumi. She'd always tried to have us try with Dad on Natuso, but I didn't care about him either. Hurting my father is all that matters now. "What is it, now?"

"You forgot your lunch." She said with a warm smile.

I snatched the bag. "Thanks, Fuyumi."

"SHOTO!" my father, Endeavor, yelled from another room. "ARE YOU TALKING TO THE REJECTS!?"

I almost ignited my fire side from the rage I felt. I felt my breathing quicken and my hands got clammy.

I promised myself I would never do that.

I turned it off as quickly as I turned it on. I wiped the sweat from my brow, hoping Fuyumi wouldn't call attention to it. She definitely saw it, considering she wasn't looking away, but she didn't have to point it out.

"Ummm…have a good day!" She whispered.

I nodded. "I will."

I walked away.

Ready to become the best hero, without my father's power.

***

My name is Taylor Hebert, and I want to become a hero, despite my pain.

I already told my dad about it. Originally, I wanted to become a vigilante, but that was just because The Wards were probably High School 2.0. But if I could drop out of my high school, to go to a different one, it was worth it.

I already made my costume, made my notes, and was ready to go to school.

Did I mention it was in a different dimension?

I have to do this. I always wanted to help people, no matter how rotten the world was. There was no better way to help people than to become a hero. As long as I don't have to help people who don't deserve it, that would suck.

I mean, I wouldn't kill anyone. But I didn't feel comfortable saving a villain. Maybe if I had to do it to prevent him from dying, I could justify it. But just outright protecting a murderer or rapist? It left a bad taste in my mouth.

But, I still couldn't wait to learn from the heroes. Being a hero was the only thing keeping me going after my mom died and Emma, my best friend, betrayed me. She used to be so much to me, now I couldn't even read books in the bathroom without getting drenched in their cranberry juices. But now, despite my misery after The Trio's torment of me, it seemed like there was so much more to my life. Like I had so much to look forward to. This seemed to be my lucky day.

Maybe I'll make some friends too…

I opened the door.

"Wait, Taylor."

I turned around. "Yes, Dad?"

He hugged me. "Stay safe, don't go picking a fight."

I nodded. "Thanks, I will."

And I went to the school.

Hopefully, it won't be like Winslow High.

***

My name is Ruby Rose, and I'm going to become a huntress!

Well, I'm going to a superhero school, which is like a huntress academy, except it's for people who don't always fight monsters. Which is pretty boring in my eyes.

But Ozpin suggested my team go there for some reason, so that's where we're going!

This world could be as cool as ours! With heroes and actions and weapons and all the like! And maybe they could teach me how to be a good hero, I mean, I know how to fight and save people, but this leadership business…it's…just hard…ok?

"Why do you think Ozpin asked us to come to this school?" Weiss asked.

"Maybe because he wants to get in the other dimension's good graces?" Blake suggested. "I doubt it's out of the kindness of his heart."

"Maybe it's because we're the best?" Yang said.

"We're only first years," Weiss said. "Although I had been practicing my whole life."

She sounded annoyed when she said that. Was she still mad over not being the leader?

"Ugh," Yang said. "Can you stop being stuck up for one second?"

"Sheesh, calm down, Yang," Weiss folded her arms. "You really need to work on that attitude of yours."

"What matters is we're going to become the best huntresses," I said. "And nothing will stop us!"

***

My name is Taylor Hebert, and I want to become a hero, despite my pain.

I already told my dad about it. Originally, I wanted to become a vigilante, but that was just because The Wards were just High School 2.0. But if I could drop out of my high school, to go to a different one, it was worth it.

I already made my costume, made my notes, and was ready to go to school.

Did I mention it was in a different dimension?

I have to do this. I always wanted to help people, no matter how rotten the world was. There was no better way to help people than to become a hero. As long as I don't have to help people who don't deserve it, that would suck.

I mean, I wouldn't kill anyone. But I didn't feel comfortable saving a villain. Maybe if I had to do it to prevent him from dying, I could justify it. But just outright protecting a murderer or rapist? It left a bad taste in my mouth.

But, I still couldn't wait to learn from the heroes. Being a hero was the only thing keeping me going after my mom died and Emma, my best friend, betrayed me. She used to be so much to me, now I couldn't even read books in the bathroom without getting drenched in their cranberry juices. But now, despite my misery after The Trio's torment of me, it seemed like there was so much more to my life. Like I had so much to look forward to. This seemed to be my lucky day.

Maybe I'll make some friends too…

I opened the door.

"Wait, Taylor."

I turned around. "Yes, Dad?"

He hugged me. "Stay safe, don't go picking a fight."

I nodded. "Thanks, I will."

And I went to the school.

Hopefully, it won't be like Winslow High.

***


My name is Ruby Rose, and I'm going to become a huntress!

Well, I'm going to a superhero school, which is like a huntress academy, except it's for people who don't always fight monsters. Which is pretty boring in my eyes.

But Ozpin suggested my team go there for some reason, so that's where we're going!

This world could be as cool as ours! With heroes and actions and weapons and all the like! And maybe they could teach me how to be a good hero, I mean, I know how to fight and save people, but this leadership business…it's…just hard…ok?

"Why do you think Ozpin asked us to come to this school?" Weiss asked.

"Maybe because he wants to get in the other dimension's good graces?" Blake suggested. "I doubt it's out of the kindness of his heart."

"Maybe it's because we're the best?" Yang said.

"We're only first years," Weiss said. "Although I had been practicing my whole life."

She sounded annoyed when she said that. Was she still mad over not being the leader?

"Ugh," Yang said. "Can you stop being stuck up for one second?"

"Sheesh, calm down, Yang," Weiss folded her arms. "You really need to work on that attitude of yours."

"What matters is we're going to become the best huntresses," I said. "And nothing will stop us!"

***

My name is Ladybug, and I was chosen to protect Paris!

I didn't do it alone; I had help from my partner Cat Noir. And together, we worked together to beat Hawkmoth. With my wits and Cat Noir's destructive power beating the villains. But after fighting someone from the future, and having support from the future, I realized something. As good as me and Cat Noir are, we're not as good as the best villains. And now that we have to deal with a bunch of alternative universes with their own supervillains, ready to attack us for a wish. It almost made me feel like my old self.

So Cat Noir and I took an alternative approach. We gave the Miraculous of the bee, the turtle, and the fox to their holders, and got ready for our next big trip.

To an alternative dimension.

I told my mom and dad I was transferring to the general studies of the superhero school. And they believed it, meaning I had the freedom to go to the school, and they'd never know.

This made my stomach turn. Because it meant I wouldn't be able to see Adrien or Alya as often. That was…upsetting. But I told myself it would be worth it. As long as Adrien didn't see any other girls. But I'm sure he wouldn't do that.

"Why are you having us go to this hero school, Milady?" Cat Noir asked.

"Because I only just now realized how dangerous Hawkmoth was," I said. We have to do this."

"If you say so, But if it means anything I have full confidence in your abilities," Cat Noir said.

"Just promise me something, kitty, ease up on the flirting, m'kay? Remember, I'm in love with another boy."

Cat Noir's eyes widened, but he stayed strong. "Well ok, anything for you."

I nodded. "Let's go."

I swung while Cat Noir leaped.

Ready to go to learn how to become the best heroes.

***

My name is Miles Morales and I have to become a hero Peter Parker is proud of!

It's been three months since I got these powers, it's been three months since I left Peter Parker down. I've been trying to live up to his legacy, but I've…kinda been getting my butt kicked like a professional nerd. My spider-sense isn't as good as Peter's and I have, like, no experience. I wasn't smart, well, I was, but not like him. He was like Albert Einstein had a baby with Steven Spielberg. while I was more of a Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Not because he was black, but because…Wait…Did I say the right Steven? It didn't sound right…

Well, the point is, I wasn't good at fighting. I spent more time losing, than running than actually beating the bad guys. So I needed help.

This new school was the best choice.

I told my parents I was applying to a new special school. It wasn't wrong. I just couldn't tell them, not yet.

See, I had to plan around them finding out. I know most people would find being a superhero cool, but the villains wouldn't. See the picture?

I've been thinking about telling my uncle. He's a good guy, but my father said he's not exactly…mentor material…but, I like him! That should be all that matters. Right? It's not like he's a criminal!

I walked to the door. "Bye, guys."

"Make sure not to do anything to get you kicked out," my mom said.

"I won't, mom."

I went into a bush and changed, and swung away to learn how to be the best hero I can be!

***

My name is Kamala Khan, and I'm going to become a hero Captain Marvel is proud of!

It's been six months since I got these powers, and I've been getting as good a hero as Captain Marvel. I even have her in my corner. Which means I've been more lucky than Spider-Man. The second one. He doesn't have the original Peter Parker. I wish he would get some help. He won't get as good as the original Spider-Man, some of the New Warriors, or even me.

That's why we're doing this, enrolling into this superhero school. Some help would be great, so we have to do this.

I thought it was going to be so cool! We were meeting other heroes! I couldn't wait! I mean, I was cool too, but they were cooler! They could teach me how to save the good people in this world!

My family knows about my superhero life. I read and saw enough superhero stories to know having a secret identity was not a good idea. So instead, I told them. After I did it for a few months. It was them that suggested I do this. I guess my being a superhero was too much for their hearts.

So to make them proud. To make Captain Marvel proud. I will. I'd never fail her.

I squealed. The thought of it makes me giddy.

"Are you ok, dear?" My mom asked. "You sound like a pig!"

"Oh! I'm fine! Just fangirling" I said. I'm going now! See you!"

"Wait! Promise me you won't flirt with any boys there!" She said.

"I'm going to be doing way more dangerous things than boys," I said.

"Not in this household!" My mom raised her finger. "Promise me!"

"Ok, I promise."

And I walked out of the door, in my costume, swinging away to the school of heroes!

***

My name is Jaime Reyes, and I'm connected to a murderous A.I.

"I heard that." The suit said.

"Shut up, dude," I said.

I've been connected to this suit for about a year. And all I wanted to do was to get rid of it. But I couldn't. Not unless I died. And I can't let that happen, I just can't.

So I'm stuck with it. I became a hero to deal with it and to help people. But it's hard when you have a weapon capable of killing lanterns. I'm like Superman, constantly holding back.

I'm the Blue Beetle now, with no idea what I'm doing. This world is dangerous, and I keep getting my ass kicked. But the super school will help with that. I was flying to the portal right now. I was ready to become a hero. Instead of a kid in way over his head, with a powerful weapon he had no idea to control.

"Do you wanna know why you can't control me?" The A. I said.

"Not now, brah!" I said. "I'm focusing on flying!"

I made it to the Portal. They sustained it by an enormous machine, using Kryptonian tech and Hephaestus tech. Whatever that last one is. And now it was a 50-foot portal in the middle of Metropolis.

I went to the portal and folded my wings.

One guard held their hand up. "Who are you?"

"Blue Beetle," I said.

"Your real name, son." He said, a little more sternly.

Dammit.

"I'm the real Blue Beetle!"

"How do we know?"

I gave him a look, "I just flew in here!"

The guard rolled his eyes. "We have a lot of weird things here, son. We can't take any chances."

"But wait, I have a ticket!" I gave him the ticket.

He sighed. "Alright. Go through."

I was ready to go through.

Until I saw lighting streak across the sky.

***

My name is Vergil Hawkins, and right now, I'm going to own up to being a hero

I had a rough time being a superhero. I've won fights, but I haven't exactly had a simple time with it. I nearly lost people because of my mistakes. And I've been all alone. I don't have a group like The Justice League or World's 616 Avengers…which was a weird name for a hero team to be honest, but that's beside the point. I find myself trite about most things except for where it matters, or where it matters for me. If I can get some help to become banging, I see no reason why I wouldn't-

Wait, is that Blue Beetle?

I streaked towards the portal and floated over the ground. I got off the manhole I was controlling and walked towards him. "Yo, you're Blue Beetle, right?"

Blue Beetle turned. "Yeah, brah. You're the Static Shock dude, right?"

"It's just Static. The 'shock' is a part of my catchphrase."

"Dammit, I wish I had a catchphrase."

"How about 'Blue Beetle gonna squash ya!" I said.

"Nah, I don't wanna make it seem like I'm going to kill people," Blue Beetle told me.

"Oh yeah. That makes sense," I said. "What are you doing here, by the way?"

"Going to the superhero school, you?" Blue Beetle asked.

"Wow, no shit? I'm doing the same."

"Really? Small world! Guess we're going together!"

"Cool, could use more brothers in the school," I said.

"Technically, I'm Hispanic," Blue Beetle shrugged.

"We'll still be fighting against the resentment together," I put my hand on his shoulder. "Let's go, homie."

***

My name is Danny Fenton, and I'm a half ghost, trying to be a hero.

Well, technically, I just turn into a ghost, but same thing.

I've gotten these powers from the typical way: mad science gone wrong. I probably shouldn't talk about my parents' projects that way. But what else do you call a portal to the ghost zone?

If you don't know what that is, it's an alternative dimension for ghosts. I guess you could see it as the afterlife? I don't know. I never thought too much about it. It turns out, the ghost zone isn't the only alternative dimension. There was another one, connected to like ten or so alternative dimensions. And that one had a hero school!

I kinda had no idea how to do this hero thing, especially in comparison to my arch-nemesis, Vlad Plamius, he was a hundred times better at using his powers than me. I mean, it makes sense. I was just a kid fighting against ghosts that had their powers for years longer than I did. So, this was a good idea.

I already dropped out of my old school and enrolled in 'The Jones Academy.' This does mean I won't be able to hang out with my friends, Sam and Tucker, as much. But it also meant I wouldn't get bullied by Dash and those other jerks, and that's a good thing, right?

Well, it doesn't matter. I've already enrolled. No going back now.

Maybe I'll be able to save my reputation and become a real hero. I can still fight disregarding my lack of popularity, after all there are still ghost and villains in this world. But I still want to fight without my parents trying to kill me. The thought of becoming popular and someone finding out who I'mn really am and hunting me down discorages me though.

But at least I'm able to avoid having to pay for a portal ticket by going invisible and going past the guards.

"You feel a chill?" One of them said.

"Nope,"

I went through the portal.

Into the world full of heroes.

***

My name is Jake Long, and I'm a dragon, trying to be a hero.

Well, technically, I just turn into a dragon. But same thing.

I'm learning how to be The American Dragon. A hero that is tasked with protecting, like, the entire magical world. I thought it was rad to be the hero at first. But protecting the whole world from evil madmen, and crazy sorcerers makes it a bummer. My powers are good, but something about the fights leads to me getting my butt kicked.

I'm hoping this super school will help. The heroes that teach them saved the world! That has to be bad enough to help me, right? Hope they're just as good as my grandfather. And aren't overly strict. I already get sick of normal school, but if superhero school is the same, that would be…more than a tad disappointing.

I went through the portal and ended in the alternative world. The city looked…amazing…like as scientific as our hidden world was magical. With enormous blue skyscrapers with more glass than stone, flying vehicles flew across the sky, and even the smaller building had a level of technology and color to them my city didn't have. Maybe it will be just as cool as mine as well.

I walked down the steps only to see someone fly away. Someone in black and white, so I turned dragon and flew up to them. "Yo, what's crackin' my-"

He aimed a laser blast at me.

"Woah, yo. I just said 'hey'."

He aimed away and turned off the laser. "Sorry, not used to people meeting me up here without them trying to kill me."

"Don't have allies with your powers?" I asked.

"Most of my friends, actually pretty much all of them, aren't half ghost." He said.

"No way! I'm half dragon!"

"Really?" He asked.

"Well, full dragon, but I do have a human form."

"What? like shapeshifting? What happened? A magical spell gone wrong?"

"What? No, my mother just married a human." I said.

"Oh," He said. "Guess that's one way to go about it."

"Hey, what's your name?" I asked.

"Danny. Danny Phantom."

"Ok, Mr. Phantom. Wanna race to the school? That's where you're going, right?"

"Yep, I guess I can humor you."

We raced off, ready to go to the school.

Before I did, though, I could've sworn I smelled oil. Like a robot was here.

But I ignored that, and focused on the race with my new ally

***


My name is Kim Possible, and I'm a secret spy.

Well, it's not much of a secret, but not everyone knows. There's no point in being a Spy If everyone knows about it, right?

Well, I'm less of a spy dedicated to espionage and information gathering, and more like a hero dedicated to saving the world. I'm a very special spy, pretty much.

That's why I'm going to a hero school. Having some help would be useful to me and my friend, Ron Stoppable.

I walked through the portal and ended up in a spectacular world. One with amazing technology, and various kinds of people. I literally saw a vampire running along the road. And someone flying across the sky. This really was a place for heroes.

I saw someone else walk through the portal. It was a robot with…pigtails? It was in a design of blue and white, and had a belly button...bolt? Who designed her? So weird.

Hold on, she might be a classmate, and if she is, I have to make friends with her.

I walked up to her. "Hi, there!"

She scratched the back of her head. "Oh!" She chuckled. "Hi! Are you visiting? Wanna see the heroes?"

"Nope, I'm going to the hero school."

"Really? Jones Academy?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Wow! Me too!" She held her hands to her chest when she said that. "What kind of enemies do you fight?

"Evil scientist, diabolical henchman with powers, nothing too weird."

"Really? But you're a human!" She said.

"I'm a cheerleader."

She blinked. What was wrong? Can humans not become spies or heroes where she comes from? "Ok…My name is Jenny, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too!" I said. "My name is Kim. Kim Possible."'

"That's a fitting name."

I smiled. "Thanks. Isn't it so exciting to be connected to so many worlds now? The possibilities are endless!"

"I know! So many worlds that we can save! Want me to take you to school?" Jenny asked.

"Really? You'd do that?" I asked.

"Yeah! I'd love to. It's faster that way, I'd have to slow down in order to not knock you out with the Gs." She said.

"Oh, then you can go yourself," I said. "I don't want to slow you down."

She shrugged. "Ok, see ya!"

Jenny waved goodbye and flew away. Wow, she WAS fast! That's so totally cool!

Guess I made a new friend.

***

My name is Jenny, and I'm a robot.

I was invented by my mother, Nora Wakeman, to save the world. Mom used to work with other scientists, and according to her, 'a corrupted ego was as common for scientists as a teenager wanting a red car', so she had to deal with a lot of mad scientists.

She wanted to create something for good, but because her lab had to deal with so many mad scientists, she was demoted from top researcher to assisting researcher. She didn't want someone insane to have a hold of the robot. So she went rogue, to create me.

Sometimes, I wish she would treat me more like a daughter, and less like a soldier. Heck, I'm pretty sure child soldiers are illegal. I don't know, am I being dramatic? It is wrong to want to be loved a little more?

But at least she let me go to school. Of course, she made me go to a hero school once one was revealed through the alternative universe. But that just means I get help, and I still get to make friends! That's great! Hey, I think I just made one!

I flew all across the city in less than a second and found the school. This city was so cool! It had space elevators, and hover copters, and everything! Imagine what the school has! And I'm a part of it! I felt like I could take on anything!

I landed on the ground, ready to go in, and hoping I would be more popular here than at the last school.

And saw a boy in yellow and black spandex land as well.

***

My name is Mark Grayson, and my dad is the top hero!

My dad is Omni-Man. A fitting name, considering he was the strongest hero where we come from. He was also the hero who beat the most villains. People sometimes give him shit because he didn't save as many people as he beat. But he's just focused on the fight! Saving other people is what the other members of his super team are for. Plus, those people forgot about the time he stopped a Texas-sized asteroid. That was one of his coolest moments!

That's why I'm here, to become the world's greatest hero and make my dad proud!

I flew with my dad, trying to get the hang of the 'peeing your pants on purpose' kind of feeling.

My dad landed, and I landed as well, cracking the ground.

My dad shook his head. "That's going to take a bit out of the insurance."

"Sorry, Dad," I said

"Don't stress about it. We have good insurance."

I smiled. "Ok, dad. You sure you don't want to teach me yourself?"

"Don't worry, you might be surprised."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Just wait, now go to your school. This is a good first day."

I smiled. "Thanks, dad."

I flew up the steps…

And opened the doors.

***

My name is Ultimate, and my mom is annoying.

Well, WAS annoying. Long story short, she died. Tragic backstory. And that's why I'm a hero!

Don't worry, I'm kidding. Everyone knows the tragic backstory is the most boring way to become a hero. I just want to be awesome. And I'm going to be.

I walked down the hallways, Using my ki echolocation, which is where I bounce my ki against objects, I observed the hallways. It was like my old school, which was weird because my old school was normal, and this one was for superheroes. It looked like technology had sex with magic, which was doubly strange. Our magic turned off technology and made it all fucky. Did the other universes contribute?

Well, whatever it was, it was marvelous. Couldn't tell what the color was though, on account of me being blind.

I shook my head. "This isn't permanent."

Matilda's light glowed. That's my A.I., by the way. "Ok, Ultimate."

"I'm just going to this interdimensional school for…popularity's sake. I can't become popular as a vilga-" I stopped myself, for…comedic purposes. "Well, I could. But this is easier. Having a license will help me out greatly."

"Do you promise to behave?" She asked.

"Of course, I will," I pointed at myself with my thumb and patted on my chest. "No bad luck will stop me this time."

I made it to the class. it sounded rambunctious there. "Looks like this one is just as rowdy as the old one." I sighed. I hate craziness when it doesn't revolve around me. Because I always felt as if I was the main character in the world. And other people having things going on around them that wasn't related to me. Like, everyone and everything should be related to me, I didn't-

"Aren't you going to go in?"

I frowned. "Don't rush me," I sighed. "Let's go."

I opened my door with quite a sight.

I sensed a kid with green ki and plain looking hair creeping up to a spiky haired one with orange ki.

"Uhhhh, Kacchan?"

Red Eyes turned his head. "Hell you want, Deku?"

Deku?

"You need to get your foot off the desk," Green hair said. "It's school property and-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU DAMN NERD!!" Red Eyes screamed. "I'M A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER THAN YOU!!"

"Woah dude, calm down," A kid in…Wait a second…Either my ki echolocation was acting up, or he was in a Blue Beetle cosplay. "He just asked you to take your feet off the desk."

"WHAT!? YOU WANT SOME OF THIS TOO!?"

"Of course not!" The…ummm…blue beetle kid said. "I don't want to hurt you."

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN!?"

"Hey!" A girl said. I turned my head further.

Was that…Skitter!?

Skitter started to walk towards him. "Leave him alone! This school won't accept bullies!" she said. "I'm assuming none of you are going to help me?"

"It's none of my business," A kid with a…wait…was that Shoto!? "I don't need to start freezing off body parts."

"I'm not a bully! I'm just better than everyone else!"

"Spoken like a true bully," Danny Phantom said.

"Shut it, you! Or I'll blast you to smithereens!" Bakugo said.

"Just try it, creep." He transformed into his ghost form. "See how that plans out."

Jenny the Teenage Robot extended her arms and grabbed both of them, or at least Bakugo, she couldn't grab Danny. "Will you two cut it out!?"

"He started it!" Danny and Bakugo said.

"Ahh, yes. Very mature." Jake Long, the American Dragon said. "Did you get that from the therapist you clearly need?"

"That better have been directed at him!" They both said.

He sighed. "Let me handle this." Jake Long turned to his Dragon form, except for his bottom half, showing his underpants.

"Dangit," He said.

"Nice," Yang Put his hand on his shoulder. "How about you let me handle this."

American Dragon swiped at her. "I told you I got this!"

Yang stared.

"What?" American Dragon said.

She was looking at a hair that fell out, her eyes slowly following it fall down into her hands, grabbing it. "you… MONSTER!!"

Her hair ignited like the fucking sun ang she grabbed him by the chest.

"Hey, hey! We're all heroes here, aren't we!? Seriously, this is so not cool!"

"Could you guys be any more vulgar?" Weiss asked.

"That should be obvious," Blake quipped.

"The only way for it to be more obvious was if Bakugo wrote 'JERK' on his forehead," Cat Noir said. "In all caps."

"HEY!!" Bakugo said.

Blake stifled a laugh.

"Looks like you're getting chatty, kitty." Ladybug frowned.

"Awww, jealous milady?"

"In your dreams."

"Aww, don't worry, kitty!" Ruby said. "You'll find someone who likes you!"

"I'll just handle Yang," Ladybug said. "It looks like she's about to kill Jake, LUCKY CHARM!"

She threw her Yoyo into the air, and spawned an All Might figurine.

"Uhhhh, does anyone know what this is?" She asked.

"I'll see," Spider-Man webbed the Figurine and pulled it towards him, only to have it hit Bakugo.

"HEY!!" His hands popped. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Uh-oh!" Spider-Man jumped on the ceiling.

"Spider-Man, get off the ceiling!" Ms. Marvel pointed at Spider-Man.

"I can't!" Miles said.

"Yes, you can, I'll deal with Bakugo!" She shot Bakugo a nasty glare. Bakugo returned it.

"No, seriously, I can't. I'm still in the 'how do I shoot webs?' phase of my hero life."

"I got him," Kim Possible leaped up and grabbed him and tried to pull him off, sticking her feet on the ceiling and started to pull. "A little help here?"

"I got him," Static said. "This might pinch."

"Ow!" Miles said. "That stings!"

"Hold on, let me grab him," Invincible said. "I think I can get a better hold."

I blinked. "Sooooooooooo…all these fictional characters are a part of this classroom."

Matilda's light blinked as well. "Yes…it would appear so."

"Do you know what that means?"

"You have to compete with these guys?"

"Ye-what? No. It means I really am a main character!"

Matilda blinked again. "Is that sarcasm?"

"Not this time." I put my hands on my hips.

"So you're not worried about what it says about the multiverse, and the greater working of timelines and alternative dimensions as a whole?"

"Of course not!" I said. "All I care about is becoming the best!" I stomped on the ground, alerting everyone to his presence. "All right, assholes! THE NEW TOP HERO HAS ARRIVED!!"

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" Bakugo said.

Ultimate took in a deep breath. "I SAID-"

"Well, well, well, look who it is."

What the…who the hell was that?

I turned to see The Rational Man With a Shotgun.

"What plan do you have now, Ultimate?" He said.

"I'm getting my license," I shot back.

No, it wasn't a pun goddammit. You guys are so lame.

"You expect me to believe you're going legitimate finally, after all the scheming and‌ conniving?" Shotty asked.

"Why wouldn't you believe it?" I fired back, and no, it's not a fucking pun! "I just said it."

"Well, I guess we'll see." Shotty said. "Just promise me you won't go guns blazing anymore."

"See, that was a pun!"

"What?" Shotty asked.

"Never mind."

"Ooooooooooook?" Shotty walked into the classroom. "Everyone here?"

We all nodded.

"Then let's get to work."
 
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"Aww, don't worry, kitty!" Ruby said. "You'll find someone who likes you!"
Ruby getting a early start with how she just murdered that guy.

That said, its obviously a bit hard to follow at times. I think the last guy is recognizing the others from TV shows and stuff... and honestly thats a bad idea. Crossovers where one or more subjects of the cross exist as fictional characters in the other setting/s erodes credulity. Its hard to maintain suspension of disbelief when your having the fictional nature of the characters literally rubbed in your face in the text. I'm not sure if the 'lol im the main character' meta asshole stuff canon to whatever show they were from, but I would suggest dropping it or them to make a more cohesive story?
 
Ruby getting a early start with how she just murdered that guy.

That said, its obviously a bit hard to follow at times. I think the last guy is recognizing the others from TV shows and stuff... and honestly thats a bad idea. Crossovers where one or more subjects of the cross exist as fictional characters in the other setting/s erodes credulity. Its hard to maintain suspension of disbelief when your having the fictional nature of the characters literally rubbed in your face in the text. I'm not sure if the 'lol im the main character' meta asshole stuff canon to whatever show they were from, but I would suggest dropping it or them to make a more cohesive story?
Not necessarily; Heinlein proved it could be done in The Number of the Beast, way back in 1980. In that story, every story ever was the focus of it's own universe, and the main characters visited Oz, among other fictional places. Including a very short visit the the Lensmen universe.
 
Ruby getting a early start with how she just murdered that guy.

That said, its obviously a bit hard to follow at times. I think the last guy is recognizing the others from TV shows and stuff... and honestly thats a bad idea. Crossovers where one or more subjects of the cross exist as fictional characters in the other setting/s erodes credulity. Its hard to maintain suspension of disbelief when your having the fictional nature of the characters literally rubbed in your face in the text. I'm not sure if the 'lol im the main character' meta asshole stuff canon to whatever show they were from, but I would suggest dropping it or them to make a more cohesive story?

He's from my own work, and yes, it's very much canon to the original work.

But the next chapter (which is already up on ao3 and FF.net) has an omniscient narrator telling the events of the story instead of one of the characters. So the meta nature of Ultimate's narration is pretty much gone.
 
First Day
Super School: Chapter One


"Ok, students," Rational Man said. "I see you all already have your superhero costumes so you seem to be prepared."

He was right. Everyone was in their iconic costumes. Deku, Invincible, Danny. Even though Danny didn't have a costume and was just his ghost powers turning his regular clothes into black and sliver ones.

"Today is your first day, so it's only rational to introduce you to what you'll be experiencing for the rest of the school year."

"Fame, fortune, and bitches?" Ultimate asked.

Bakugo snickered. Ultimate glared at him.

"No, Ultimate, I don't mean the more glorious parts of being a hero," He walked around in a circle. "You all have heroes in your world. You know it can't be an easy job. But it's even worse than you think. Policemen and firemen often have nightmares about their horrific experience with criminals, disasters, and death, So you can imagine what someone that has to fight super villains thinks."

Most of them did nothing except tilt their heads. But Taylor, Spider-Man, Ms. Marvel, Blue Beetle, and Static nodded.

"Heroes are not just fighting, most of them," He glanced at Ultimate as he said that. "are focused on saving people. And you can't save everyone,"

Midoriya raised his hand, but didn't wait to be called. "All Might can!"

Rational Man frowned. "Please wait to be called upon before you speak. All Might is the top hero from your dimension, right?"

Midoriya nodded with haste.

"You want to be the top hero?"

"Yep! I know it's unlikely but as long as I have A…my…friends in corners. it should be possible!"

Rational Man nodded. "Possible? Yes. Just remember to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. You never know what could happen."

"I do!" Bakugo said. "He'll fail, like the quirkless little twerp he is!"

"Ok, So I never really watched your show, I was only mildly aware of it," Ultimate leaned back in his chair.

"What?" Bakugo asked.

"Never mind. The point is, I don't know what Quirkless means, and I'm sure no one else does either."

"It means Deku doesn't have a power!"

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing!" Bakugo said. "It just means he can't be a hero!"

"Except I don't have powers," Ultimate glared. "and guess what? Still a hero!"

"Really, you're a hero without powers? Kim Possible leaned on her arm. "Cool! Me too!"

"What!?" Bakugo said. "You two can't become a hero without having something great about you."

"Well, you know that made of iron trope? Yeah…I'm basically the embodiment of that." Ultimate said.

Bakugo looked at Kim Possible. "And you?"

"I'm a cheerleader, so there's that."

"WHAT!?" Bakugo said.

"You know how you think you are an average girl?" Ultimate asked.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, that's bullshit." Ultimate said.

Kim possible sighed heavily.

"But, and I'm not saying this to be mean, he can't become the top hero without a power," Static patted his chest. "Especially when I'm here."

"YEAH RIGHT!" Ultimate and Bakugo said at the same time, when they both got on their desk, right next to each other.

Bakugo then pushed him. "I'M GOING TO BECOME THE TOP HERO IN THE UNIVERSE! THE MULTIVERSE!!! I WILL BE THE BEST-"

"Oh, bullshit, dude!" Ultimate got on his desk again. "I'm going to be the best! I'M going to become the top hero! And I'M GOING TO BECOME THE RICHEST, MOST POPULAR HERO OF ALL TIME!!"

"WHO CARES!?"

Ultimate glared at him. "What?"

"YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME! WHO CARES ABOUT WHETHER YOU BECOME THE RICHEST OR MOST POPULAR!? EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ONLY BEING THE STRONGEST MATTERS! CRUSHING YOUR OPPONENTS! GETTING ADMIRATION! THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT-"

"BULLSHIT!" Ultimate grabbed his shirt. "Everyone knows this is what being a hero is about! This is like basic hero 101!"

"Don't. Interrupt. Me." Bakugo said, through grit teeth. "I'm always right. I'M always correct! And I know how to be a hero, I've been practicing all my life!"

"How could you think I'M wrong!?" Ultimate screamed. "Being a hero isn't about being the strongest! Who gives a shit about that!? Everyone knows that being a celebrity that has the whole world chant their name and civil servants that get to do whatever they want is more-"

"DON'T IGNORE ME!!"

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!"

Just when it looked like they were going to clash, Ms. Marvel stretched out her arms and grabbed both of them. "Guys! Stop arguing! Neither of you will become the top hero with that attitude. Especially when I'm here."

"But I'm the chosen dragon warrior. Literally the American Dragon! I'm the chosen one!"

"But I'm the strongest!" Invincible argued.

"Noooooo! I am!" Jenny said.

"We're becoming the top heroes!" Ruby Rose pumped her fist into the air.

The students got into a large argument about who would become the top hero until Rational Man interjected.

"Students!" He said. "You're being too unrealistic. These dreams are healthy unless they become obsessions, or you believe you'll do it with no chance of failure. Only one of the students here can become the top hero, so I suggest you get some I should've phrased that better."

All the students stared at each other. Glaring daggers, measuring competition.

So they're the only thing standing in the way of me becoming the top hero, huh? Todoroki thought.

So all I need to do, Danny thought.

Is to beat everyone here! Ultimate thought as well.

Rational man rubbed his head. "Can we focus? anyway, most heroes are constantly fighting, can't save everyone, and get put through the winger. They have to hide their identity from friends and maybe even family. The villains aren't like the ones you see in cartoons. You might have to save a friend from mind control and stop them from killing you. They might have to take a villain's life, and the very next day, they might have to stop a literal genocide. Your kids need to be tested to see if you can handle that and to prepare you for it. You won't be treated as a child soldier. All that will happen is us seeing if you can handle the trials and tribulation of being a hero. If you want to leave…if you decide it's too much for you…you can. No one will judge you."

They all stayed.

Rational Man exhaled. "Alright…in that case, first, we'll check to see where you place. Join me on the field. We got work to do."








The school field was enormous, with white lines everywhere for activities. The air was fragrant with freshly cut grass and there was a sandy area for training activities, which Jake didn't like due to sand between his toes.

"Alright, let me start off by asking a question," Rational Man said. "How many of you took gym?"

Everyone raised their hands.

"Thank you. Now, how many of you had to hold back?"

Almost everyone raised their hands, except for Ladybug, Cat Noir, Midoriya, and Kim Possible.

"You guys had to deal with that too?" Jenny asked.

"I assumed everyone did," Midoriya said.

"Why would you assume that? It's not like you have powers," Ultimate grinned.

"Hey!" Ladybug said. "You're acting deplorable! You'll never become a hero like that!"

"Besides," Chat Noir said. "What you've forgotten, Ultimate, is that the lady and I don't have to worry about holding back even though we still have powers. We only get powers when we transform.

"That still counts," Danny said. "I only have powers when I transform as well, but I think it counts as not using my full strength."

"Well, our transformation is not innate to us," Ladybug put a hand on her chest.

"Well, you don't have to worry about holding back anymore," Rational Man grabbed a ball. "Ultimate?"

Ultimate looked up.

"Catch," Rational Man threw a ball at him.

Ultimate caught it. "Hell you want me to do, throw it?"

"Use your full strength to throw it," Rational Man said. "I want to see how far you can throw it at full capacity. The ball is made out of kinetic rubber, which means it's invincible. Go all out."

Ultimate grinned. "Fuck yeah," He then walked over to the center of the ball throwing yard line, and wound up. "Stand back, ladies and gentleman, WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE A SHOW!!"

Ultimate threw the ball a great distance away, his ki-enhanced strength sending the ball across the state.

Rational Man looked at his phone. "First step to being heroes is seeing how strong you really are, and whether you're cut out for it," He showed them his phone, which showed Ultimate's distance. 835.2 meters. "That's the rational way to find out just how capable you are."

"Man, this is going to be so fun!" Yang said.

"Not to mention easy." Ms. Marvel said.

Rational Man frowned. "Fun, huh? You think these are games? You think this is a joke? It's not a joke, people's lives are on the line."

"I think we can handle ourselves," Jenny gave Kim a high-five after saying that.

"Fine then," Rational Man put his phone in his pocket. "I guess there's only one way to show you. The student that gets the least amount of points will be expelled from this school."

"WHAT!?" All the students except Ultimate and Bakugo said.
 
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*Computer says this chapter was posted yesterday at "6:16" AM*

Heh. Nice.

So, this story caught my attention due to its title and the fact that it's a mass crossover. That's it. No other information could be gleamed. Even the Summary didn't reveal much. I'm not criticising you for this, if anything I applaud you cause this definitely ensures anyone with a remote interest to read the first chapter to learn more about the story.

You got a good Hook, and for me personally you definitely had me at the Line, as I came up with a similar premise to your story, as well as loving a certain golden midnight project. So to see someone else giving this kind of premise a go would definitely get me to try out the story.

I'm not quite Sunk yet though. For the first chapter, it's the little things that build up. Certain facts about the characters are jarring, but I admit that it's been over a decade since I remember details about the shows. (Jake's actually a half-dragon? Kim genuinely considers herself a spy?)

Jones Academy sounds like a boring name for a superhero academy. Yeah, there's U.A. but at least that's a pun on "Eiyuu," so hoping there's a reason why it's named "Jones."

We know from… uh… from the top of my head, I think Marinette's? From Ladybug's POV (and I'm sure a few others) there's a general course for regular students, so the structure is like U.A. I'm wondering if we'll see any other characters in that course (like say, the Totally Spies during their high school years, transferring as a mission for W.H.O.O.P. in order to learn more about other dimensions).

While Ultimate's POV was personally jarring due to him being an Original Character, I accept it as a case of the pot calling the kettle black, seeing as I prefer coming up with Self-Insert stories which is not a genre everyone enjoys.

So you know what? Feel free to ignore anyone who criticises his inclusion just for being an OC. Your story, your decision on how it should go. Including the character-roster.

I'm curious to learn more of Ultimate's background through this story. Maybe if I like him enough, I'll check out the work he originated from.

*Out of said curiosity, searches for said work. Seemingly finds it, sees the preview that shows off a Bakugo-like POV*

… Me thinks I might end up hating him for a decent portion of the prologue. Well, let's reserve judgement until more chapters come up.

(Even if I'd like to know what his childhood was like for him to have such a Bakugo-like opinion of himself… . Like damn dude, I already want you to be kicked out because I don't like your attitude, not because you're an OC, though that contributes.)

Interesting to see a technical repeat of "Iida scolding Bakugo." Curious why Katsuki didn't just put his feet on his own desk. I'm a bit iffy at this since one could argue it's forcing a confrontation between characters. Since a decent chunk of the cast are non-Japanese, they wouldn't care so much if Katsuki just placed his feet on his desk rather than using a chair someone will eventually use.

While some may disapprove, they more than likely wouldn't openly scold him since it's his desk. Honestly, if you wanted some confrontation, I think it might've been more natural for the characters if Izuku tried asking Katsuki to not place his feet on his desk, Katsuki blows up since it's Izuku, and some characters rush in to scold Katsuki for immediately escalating (aka yelling) instead of letting the argument gradually escalate (aka respectfully disagreeing and constantly having to refuse).

(Also, calling a stranger you don't know an asshole? Yeesh, really hope your goal is at least that readers will like Ultimate after some character development.)

"Kacchan, please calm down!"
And he ends up yelling at Izuku anyway. So yeah, feels like Bakugo is (unnecessarily) being more dickish than his canon self by taking/using someone's chair when he more than likely has a perfectly functional desk that he can use.

Pacing-wise… personally, I find the first chapter all over the place. Too many characters to go through at once, and it feels like a total-slog to go through all of their POVs before we (the Readers) finally reach the classroom. Yeah, it's not much when it's a handful of characters (like 1-5, maybe slightly more like until 8 or 9), but an entire class roster?

By Kim's POV I was already hoping we move on from the character introductions. I get they're important to introduce our protagonists and establish some background, but it doesn't change the problem of having too many characters POVs to go through at once in order to move the story along.

Character interaction are also iffy. There's Jake and Yang, I get he would be flustered from losing his upper clothing, but telling Yang to zip up her top? He may be of Asian descent, but he's a western teenage boy, and she's a blonde bombshell. I think he'd be too attracted to Yang to go so far as to ask her to dress more decently. And then for her to immediately to threaten to "kill" him?

There's Taylor/Skitter, who's more than likely from before the Lung fight. Meaning she'd still have major trust issues since she had no interactions with the Undersiders yet, so personally I feel like she wouldn't have asked anyone in the class for backup just yet.

*Writing this review as I read the chapter*

… And Marinette just wasted a Lucky Charm of all things to de-escalate an argument… . Immediately. Without even trying to talk down Yang first.

… Hey, did she even power-down after 5 minutes of using her Lucky Charm? Or did you glossed over that weakness she and Adrien share?

*Continues reading the chapter*

… Yeah, gonna have to warn you, how the characters are interacting with each other in this section, it would be a bit of a turn-off for most people. At least it's breaking SoD for me. Not enough for me to quit the story, but enough for me to go "This scene could've been written better."

"Ye-what? No. It means I really am a main character!"
… You're a really punchable main character, Ultimate. Might've been the goal of your Author, but it's still (kinda) a bitter pill to swallow.

(Don't worry, it still hasn't reach the point that I wonder why bother integrating him into this premise if he's essentially a duplicate of Bakugo with some minor adjustments.)

BTDubs, hope you go back to edit the first chapter, currently certain line breaks occurred either too early or too late (the transition from Bakugo's POV to Todoroki's, for example) while the early dialogue for Ultimate's POV was accidentally repeated before the line break.



That said, its obviously a bit hard to follow at times. I think the last guy is recognizing the others from TV shows and stuff... and honestly thats a bad idea. Crossovers where one or more subjects of the cross exist as fictional characters in the other setting/s erodes credulity. Its hard to maintain suspension of disbelief when your having the fictional nature of the characters literally rubbed in your face in the text. I'm not sure if the 'lol im the main character' meta asshole stuff canon to whatever show they were from, but I would suggest dropping it or them to make a more cohesive story?
I agree that there's some portions that are hard to follow. But for me, Ultimate's verse having the rest being fictional isn't quite a deal breaker, depending on how the storytelling goes.

I remember a certain Supergirl/Worm crossover where Kara Zor-El is stranded on Earth-Bet… which up until the Entities appeared, followed the same timeline as our Earth, meaning Supergirl the fictional character exists there. And the Earth-Bet natives points out that Kara is "cosplaying" as Supergirl, and she (along with the readers) takes in stride, with Kara acknowledging her fictional status in some Earths.

So characters being aware of this… meta-perspective, doesn't necessarily have to be a deal breaker, and can even enhance the story. But that is entirely dependent on the story's author and what they're planning on using this detail for the story.



Alright, let's move on to Chapter 2… .

This chapter feels more relevant to mention that the fact that their homeroom teacher is "Rational Man" while Izuku's canon 1-A teacher is "rational man" Aizawa… well, it's kinda like a missed opportunity?

You could've brought/create any character to be their homeroom teacher… and you come up with a character whose name gives an indication he'll be an expy of Aizawa, when already with what information we readers have so far means that Jones Academy will be similarly structured to U.A. High School… .

Well, let's just say if you have some kind of Sports Festival or Villain(s) attacking the school scenario planned, that'll definitely be a big negative against your story. (Well, a big negative for me at least)

Most of them did nothing except tilt their heads. But Taylor, Spider-Man, Ms. Marvel, Blue Beetle, and Static nodded.
… An odd list of students who'd understand and empathise how difficult being on the field can be.

Was I wrong? Is Taylor after her Lung fight, yet before meeting up with/joining/"infiltrating" the Undersiders? I expected Marinette (and maybe Adrien) would be on this list, Akumatized villains can be (mostly) silly but they can still be scary and scarring/traumatising.

Jake at least gets somewhat of a pass since his whole job is to ensure that regular human civilians don't get involved with the supernatural, but even then he can still be on the list since human or not, he's still protecting people.

Midoriya raised his hand, but didn't wait to be called. "All Might can!"
I like this, feels like something early Izuku would do. Yes, logically he may know but in his Heart he would still cling onto this belief that everyone can be saved regardless of the situation.

"HA!" Ultimate actually said 'HA!' "Only certain people can become a hero without a power, and that's me!"
Personally, this sentence feels a bit weird. At first glance, I thought he was claiming only he could be a hero without superpowers, to which I myself would reply "What about the Bat-Family, genius?" But re-reading the sentence shows that's not what he's saying.

Also, what I highlighted in yellow can be replaced with the word "scoffed."

"Isn't people plural?" Spider-Man asked.

"Shut up," Ultimate brushed him off. "The point is, even if I didn't have a power. I still could be a hero."
Oh, nevermind somebody called him out. That's good.

Also, I laugh at that boast because it's such a teen thing to say.

Similarly, I suppose I could see that being the reason why a decent chunk of the students insist that they're the one who'll be the Number 1 Hero. But the dialogue can be weird since I feel certain students wouldn't really care about being Number 1, yet these same students express their interest or state that they're the strongest.

Like… Blake, I feel like she wouldn't really be interested at all unless somebody pointed out that being Number 1 would better help her in her quest for Human-Faunus equality. She would otherwise be dismissive of the position since it'll feel like a popularity contest to her.

Rational Man exhaled. "Alright…in that case, first, we'll check to see where you place. Join me on the field. We got work to do."
Red flag. Seems we're going through a re-hash of Izuku's canon first day at UA.

"Not everyone has powers, retard." Ultimate grinned.
… So, so punchable.

"Oh, suck a dick, dumb bitch." Ultimate raspberried.
Never mind. Forget punching him, I'll maim him. (Again, not a deal breaker. Since it's kinda clear you designed him to be initially hated.)

"Well, our transformation is not innate to us. It comes from our Kwamis," Ladybug said.
What reason does she (of all people!) have to reveal this to non-Miraculous users? Admitting her powers come from a transformation is fine, but she's not obligated to inform anyone the existence of Kwamis.

I hope you're not planning on casually revealing what happens when the Ladybug & Black Cat Miraculous are paired together.

If anything, considering how callous Ultimate is with everyone that's not himself, it would've been better if he was the one who casually talked about the Kwamis with everyone wondering how the hell could he possibly know about them. (With Marinette & Adrien understandably freaking out.)

Ultimate caught it. "Hell you want me to do, throw it?"
Bruh, My Hero Academia is a fictional media in your universe and you are aware of this. How is the fact that you're essentially living out Class 1-A's first day at UA not ringing any bells?

This is an example of what ChaoticSky was worried about. Sure, readers have the benefit of not "actually being there" and Ultimate's own attitude can cloud his view, I get that, I do, but the fact you're essentially copying Izuku's first day at UA really puts a damper on this story.

It makes readers' ask "What's the point of them attending this different hero school when they could've just attended UA and take the place of some of the canon characters?"

Ultimate threw the ball a great distance away.
Boo, no explanation on how he threw the ball. Is he a Superman/Alexandria-lite? At least when Bakugo throws the ball, readers' know it's because he's using his Explosion to help further propel the ball. Jenny aka XJ-9 probably has some kind of ball cannon she could use, Adrien could whack the ball with his staff, Marinette could throw it with her yo-yo, etc.

So what did Ultimate do? Did he just throw the ball normally like an average joe, except that his superhuman strength meant that it reaches further distances? Is he a telekinetic, who used his mind powers to throw the ball without lifting a finger?

This could've showcase the readers what his powers are, and if they contribute on why he's so arrogant. Even saying he threw the ball like a normal person yet it flew so far would've been enough of an indicator that he has super-strength.

"Man, this is going to be so fun!" Yang said.

"Not to mention easy." Ms. Marvel said.

Rational Man frowned. "Fun, huh? You think these are games? You think this is a joke? It's not a joke, people's lives are on the line."
Called it. Knew he was going to be an expy. *Sighs*

Beat for beat, some students cheer at how fun and easy the exercise will be, only for the "rational man" to put a damper and "threatening" expulsion.

Gee, this sounds oh so strangely familiar.

Like a lot of fics, this story does have potential. But so far it's being bogged down with questionable dialogue and character interaction.

Ultimate's nature as an OC compared to the rest of the class gives him a pass since he's your creation and you have full say what his dialogue should be like, but the others are stretching my SoD and are giving off the feeling that they're gonna end up being In-Name characters only.
 
Jones Academy sounds like a boring name for a superhero academy. Yeah, there's U.A. but at least that's a pun on "Eiyuu," so hoping there's a reason why it's named "Jones."

It's based on a hero in my world.

I'm curious to learn more of Ultimate's background through this story. Maybe if I like him enough, I'll check out the work he originated from.

*Out of said curiosity, searches for said work. Seemingly finds it, sees the preview that shows off a Bakugo-like POV*

… Me thinks I might end up hating him for a decent portion of the prologue. Well, let's reserve judgement until more chapters come up.

I wouldn't be surprised. Most people that know bout Ultimate hate Ultimate. His only redeeming trait is that he's supposed to be funny. But it hard to do the over-the-top sociopathic asshole character in books, y'know? Which is why I wanted Ultimate, (the name of the story as you already know) to be a tv show and eventually a movie.

Asshole, I lack empathy and a sense of offense, which isn't good for comedy.

(Even if I'd like to know what his childhood was like for him to have such a Bakugo-like opinion of himself… . Like damn dude, I already want you to be kicked out because I don't like your attitude, not because you're an OC, though that contributes.)

Don't worry, he gets better…(lame response I know, but I got nothing else to say.)

Interesting to see a technical repeat of "Iida scolding Bakugo." Curious why Katsuki didn't just put his feet on his own desk. I'm a bit iffy at this since one could argue it's forcing a confrontation between characters. Since a decent chunk of the cast are non-Japanese, they wouldn't care so much if Katsuki just placed his feet on his desk rather than using a chair someone will eventually use.

While some may disapprove, they more than likely wouldn't openly scold him since it's his desk. Honestly, if you wanted some confrontation, I think it might've been more natural for the characters if Izuku tried asking Katsuki to not place his feet on his desk, Katsuki blows up since it's Izuku, and some characters rush in to scold Katsuki for immediately escalating (aka yelling) instead of letting the argument gradually escalate (aka respectfully disagreeing and constantly having to refuse).

That actually would've been a good idea. The only reason I had him put his foot on a chair that wasn't his was because I thought that was what happened in manga.

(Also, calling a stranger you don't know an asshole? Yeesh, really hope your goal is at least that readers will like Ultimate after some character development.)

I actually wanted people to like Ultimate BECAUSE he's so horrible. Much like The Gang from IASIP and Eric Cartman. But being hated works too since he's an antagonist that the other characters hate.

… You're a really punchable main character, Ultimate. Might've been the goal of your Author, but it's still (kinda) a bitter pill to swallow.

(Don't worry, it still hasn't reach the point that I wonder why bother integrating him into this premise if he's essentially a duplicate of Bakugo with some minor adjustments.)

BTDubs, hope you go back to edit the first chapter, currently certain line breaks occurred either too early or too late (the transition from Bakugo's POV to Todoroki's, for example) while the early dialogue for Ultimate's POV was accidentally repeated before the line break.

Thanks for the heads up.

Also as for how the scene is written, i tried my best to keep it in characters after making all the characters likable and interesting, and then making sure the actual scene was structured. Like I had to make the the main idea of a paragraph was in either the beginning or the end of it. I made to make sure the first line of a scene framed it, and the last line shows the point. I had to show characters dynamics, and how the characters solve problems. And I still had to leave things out because I didn't have the time. But I agree it needed a few more rewrites.

Alright, let's move on to Chapter 2… .

This chapter feels more relevant to mention that the fact that their homeroom teacher is "Rational Man" while Izuku's canon 1-A teacher is "rational man" Aizawa… well, it's kinda like a missed opportunity?

You could've brought/create any character to be their homeroom teacher… and you come up with a character whose name gives an indication he'll be an expy of Aizawa, when already with what information we readers have so far means that Jones Academy will be similarly structured to U.A. High School… .

Well, let's just say if you have some kind of Sports Festival or Villain(s) attacking the school scenario planned, that'll definitely be a big negative against your story. (Well, a big negative for me at least)

I didn't want any of the characters from the students' series to be teachers, so instead I went with my interpretation of Reddit's and Tumblr's Rational Man with a Shotgun.

odd list of students who'd understand and empathise how difficult being on the field can be.

Was I wrong? Is Taylor after her Lung fight, yet before meeting up with/joining/"infiltrating" the Undersiders? I expected Marinette (and maybe Adrien) would be on this list, Akumatized villains can be (mostly) silly but they can still be scary and scarring/traumatising.

Jake at least gets somewhat of a pass since his whole job is to ensure that regular human civilians don't get involved with the supernatural, but even then he can still be on the list since human or not, he's still protecting people.

Taylor lives in a world with Endbringers, The Slaughterhouse Nine, and Heartbreaker. And these things are public knowledge so something tells me she would

Also, this was before Cat Blanc which was the only villain that traumatized Marinette.

Similarly, I suppose I could see that being the reason why a decent chunk of the students insist that they're the one who'll be the Number 1 Hero. But the dialogue can be weird since I feel certain students wouldn't really care about being Number 1, yet these same students express their interest or state that they're the strongest.

Like… Blake, I feel like she wouldn't really be interested at all unless somebody pointed out that being Number 1 would better help her in her quest for Human-Faunus equality. She would otherwise be dismissive of the position since it'll feel like a popularity contest to her.

I shouldn't say this since it is a spoiler, but yes. Blake want to become number one in order to improve Human-Faunus relations.

Never mind. Forget punching him, I'll maim him. (Again, not a deal breaker. Since it's kinda clear you designed him to be initially hated.)

*awkwardly looks at my outline for this fanfiction where it says Ultimate will be a charismatic villain*

Boo, no explanation on how he threw the ball. Is he a Superman/Alexandria-lite? At least when Bakugo throws the ball, readers' know it's because he's using his Explosion to help further propel the ball. Jenny aka XJ-9 probably has some kind of ball cannon she could use, Adrien could whack the ball with his staff, Marinette could throw it with her yo-yo, etc.
Yeah, you're right. I should've explained that.

So, I'll do it now. He has the Spider-Man package. Super Strength, Speed, Durability, and Healing. Though most people compare him to Deadpool.

Edit: Missing words and punctuation.
 
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It's based on a hero in my world.
Oooh! That's interesting! Looking forward to the world-building then.

Have to say, I enjoyed reading through your responses. I hope going forward we'll still remain cordial like this regardless of our stances on how the storyline goes/is written.

Don't worry, he gets better…(lame response I know, but I got nothing else to say.)
*Shrugs | 🤷‍♂️ * Personally I don't mind. It's early in the fic's life and you haven't crossed any lines that makes me swear off from the fic.

But a suggestion going forward? Rather than trying to reassure readers by saying something like "Hey, this character will get better, I promise!" it's probably better to say something like "Oh, I have a plan and it does require the character to be like this." since people liking a character is entirely dependent on their tastes/tolerances.

We can turn to peoples' stances on Bakugo for example. There are those who do not care for Bakugo even with his redemption storyline (and boy do I respect the Authors who are in this camp yet remain neutral with how they treat Bakugo in their stories.)

So depending on how you write Ultimate, there's probably readers who won't care for him regardless of what character development you put him through because he crossed a line too early.

(I mean, you had him call Kim Possible a "dumb bitch" and told her to "suck a dick" when she's being rightfully scolding him. KP, whose a childhood hero for a lot of people. I am firmly in the "I do not like you, Ultimate. AT ALL." camp and it's going to take quite a few things for me to go back to the "I'm neutral towards you, Ultimate." camp.

That actually would've been a good idea. The only reason I had him put his foot on a chair that wasn't his was because I thought that was what happened in manga.
Well you can press that "Edit" button to rewrite scenes if you want.

I get that it can be exhausting to do so, believe me. But if you have the free time and prefer to do some "mind-numbing" work rather than anything else, going back to rewrite scenes so that the story would flow better might work for you.

I actually wanted people to like Ultimate BECAUSE he's so horrible. Much like The Gang from IASIP and Eric Cartman. But being works too since he's a antagonist that the other characters hate.
I see, a character We Love to Hate. Yup yup, no problems with that. But I hope you won't get confused. Someone we like to hate is different from someone we genuinely like.

Again, we turn to Bakugo. Sorry if you don't like the comparison, but right now Ultimate feels to me like "Bakugo, but worst (in a sense)." Like seriously, characters like Ultimate (as he is now/at first glance) is why I tolerate Bakugo easily and don't mind liking him (and hate it when people bash him too much, even for understandable reasons).

Anyway, I'm straying. Bakugo is someone we like to hate since for a decent chunk of MHA, he's an (seemingly) unrepentant bully. We like to hate Bakugo, because we flat out don't like Bakugo. Am I making sense?

Basically, I hope your goal isn't "Readers will like Ultimate because he's genuinely a likeable person" and instead is "Readers like Ultimate because they hate him and like to see him get shit on until he gets some character development."

… Out of curiosity, are you entertaining thoughts on a name change? Cause I feel like it'll be easy for misunderstandings to occur when the Author & the unlikeable character are both simply named Ultimate.

Thanks for the heads up.

Also as for how the scene is written, i tried my best to keep it in characters after making all the characters likable and interesting, and then making sure the actual scene was structured. Like I had to make the the main idea of a paragraph was in either the beginning or the end of it. I made to make sure the first line of a scene framed it, and the last line shows the point. I had to show characters dynamics, and how the characters solve problems. And I still had to leave things out because I didn't have the time. But I agree it needed a few more rewrites.
I get it. Story planning and actually writing said story are a beast in their own ways.

But again, Edit button is always there for when you feel like making those rewrites.

I didn't want any of the characters from the students' series to be here, so instead I went with my interpretation of Reddit's and Tumblr's Rational Man with a Shotgun.
Ah, okay. Noted. But I hope going forward this will make you revise your plans since not everyone will be aware of what you're referencing, as this case shows.

Were you, perhaps, planning for a nod to MHA canon by having Izuku's homeroom teacher be a fellow Rational Man?

Cause this makes sense, and I do like it… but you'll have to be prepared for readers like me who won't get it and feel like… well, I'll be a blunt say a "rip-off" since Rational Man still puts them through a physical test and orders them to a field on their first day.

Taylor lives in a world with Endbringers, The Slaughterhouse Nine, and Heartbreaker. And these things are public knowledge so something tells me she would

Also, this was before Cat Blanc which was the only villain that traumatized Marinette.
For Taylor, I feel like it's a writing issue. But I acknowledge there's not much here you can do. Now that you've explain it, I can see it as her nodding in a "That sounds logical and makes sense" kind of way rather than some of the others in the "Yeah, I get that caused I already lived through it." kind of way.

As for Marinette (and Adrien)… *sigh* Looks, they're VERY iffy because Miraculous… isn't really that great of a show (I hear the movie, which takes place in an AU, has better pacing/characterisation though). Some of the Akumas can be extremely traumatising if you look at them in an in-universe perspective.

I mean, Bubbler debut has his bubbles target "ALL Adults in Paris," correct? That would include Doctors, Nurses, and Patients… including those that are in the middle of an operation… and may more than likely died on the operating table.

Then there's Syren… who flooded all of Paris. Even if you say "Drinking Syren's seawater turns you to a fish that she controls" (cause I don't think there's a canon explanation to what happened to civilians who drowned), there's probably quite a few parents traumatised at believing they saw their children and babies drowning even when they tried their best to bring them up for air.

So yeah, I generally trusts a fan's headcanon on Miraculous than actual canon after 5 seasons of "Meh." It really says something when even die-hard fans of the show agree with its haters that Hawk Moth's ending was such a slap to the face.

I should say this since it is a spoiler, but yes. Blake want to become number one in order to improve Human-Faunus relations.
… You… should… say this? Wouldn't it make more sense to say "shouldn't?"

It's easy to infer/come with a reason why she would want to become Number 1. And she is a smart enough cookie to come up with said reason herself.

What I'm criticising is that there's no scene or moment where it shows her being contemplative about the thought of her specifically becoming Number 1. Taking a moment to think 'If I become Number 1, it'll make a more powerful impact on improving Human-Faunus relations than just being a known/the first Faunus SuperHero(ine).'

I wouldn't be surprised that after some thinking, she'd be a Team RBWY member whose actually gung-ho on becoming a Hero since she'd realise that there's probably a decent chunk of Faunus Huntsmen on Remnant, yet it's probably not doing much in improving relations between the two species, so would her becoming a Huntress really do much in the grand scheme of things?

(Teenage attitude would lead her to believe that yes, and that's probably canon in Volume 1-2, maybe 3)

*awkwardly looks at my outline for this fanfiction where it says Ultimate will be a charismatic villain*
Ooooh~! Now that is very interesting. I look forward to see how that happens.

Yeah, you're right. I should've explained that.

So, I'll do it now. He has the Spider-Man package. Super Strength, Speed, Durability, and Healing. Though most people compare him to Deadpool.
*Cough* So… does he have a Spider-Sense? Super Flexibility? Stick-em powers? Organic webs?

Because if it's just Super Strength, Speed, Durablity and Healing… well, people would compare him more to Captain America then Spider-Man? Heck, the Deadpool comparison would be more accurate if his healing factor is as strong as DP himself and/or Wolverine's.

And again, you can always go back and edit the scene to add some sentences.
 
I see, a character We Love to Hate. Yup yup, no problems with that. But I hope you won't get confused. Someone we like to hate is different from someone we genuinely like.

Again, we turn to Bakugo. Sorry if you don't like the comparison, but right now Ultimate feels to me like "Bakugo, but worst (in a sense)." Like seriously, characters like Ultimate (as he is now/at first glance) is why I tolerate Bakugo easily and don't mind liking him (and hate it when people bash him too much, even for understandable reasons).

Anyway, I'm straying. Bakugo is someone we like to hate since for a decent chunk of MHA, he's an (seemingly) unrepentant bully. We like to hate Bakugo, because we flat out don't like Bakugo. Am I making sense?

Are you referring to the TVtropes definition of Love to Hate? Or the standard definition. Cause TVtropes' definition is what I was going for. A funny character, but one you'll never want to meet. A likable character, but not a likable person. There's even for a trope for this. Called, "Jerkass Dissonance" where you like a Jerk even if you would hate them in real life. This is how the The Gang and Eric Cartman operate. Cause so people love them and even feel sorry for them at times, (me included) because their characters were just that endearing, though I admit, this is something I struggle with as my personality gravitates to offensive media, leading to me creating the same.

However it's still early on. And I'm still writing the story. (though I know what happens in this arc from beginning and end) So I could still make him hateable.

Basically, I hope your goal isn't "Readers will like Ultimate because he's genuinely a likeable person" and instead is "Readers like Ultimate because they hate him and like to see him get shit on until he gets some character development."

Ok, so you did mean "like him because they hate him so much". Funny enough, I won't have to change much to make him hateable. I'll probably just have be more of a insensitive dick.

… Out of curiosity, are you entertaining thoughts on a name change? Cause I feel like it'll be easy for misunderstandings to occur when the Author & the unlikeable character are both simply named Ultimate.

I realize that. 😅

I get it. Story planning and actually writing said story are a beast in their own ways.

But again, Edit button is always there for when you feel like making those rewrites.

That's true. I'll take that in consideration.

… You… should… say this? Wouldn't it make more sense to say "shouldn't?"

Yes, that's what I meant.😅

It's easy to infer/come with a reason why she would want to become Number 1. And she is a smart enough cookie to come up with said reason herself.

What I'm criticising is that there's no scene or moment where it shows her being contemplative about the thought of her specifically becoming Number 1. Taking a moment to think 'If I become Number 1, it'll make a more powerful impact on improving Human-Faunus relations than just being a known/the first Faunus SuperHero(ine).'

ahhh, that's what you meant. Yeah, that's true. I couldn't find the time to put it in but I could in future draft of the first chapter.

I wouldn't be surprised that after some thinking, she'd be a Team RBWY member whose actually gung-ho on becoming a Hero since she'd realise that there's probably a decent chunk of Faunus Huntsmen on Remnant, yet it's probably not doing much in improving relations between the two species, so would her becoming a Huntress really do much in the grand scheme of things?

(Teenage attitude would lead her to believe that yes, and that's probably canon in Volume 1-2, maybe 3)

That was my mindset. (Also, did you mean Team RWBY?)

Ooooh~! Now that is very interesting. I look forward to see how that happens.

I actually meant "charismatic antagonist". Not a villain.
But I am thinking about making him that down the line.
 
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Are you referring to the TVtropes definition
I would say "a fellow Troper!" but the only thing I do on TV Tropes is just browse rather than edit anything 😂

ahhh, that's what you meant. Yeah, that's true. I couldn't find the time to put it in but I could in future draft of the first chapter.
Is it so important for her intentions known in the first/second chapter? It'll probably add more depth if she (be amongst those who) was initially dismissive before changing her mind and then becoming determined to be Number 1.

Out of the current roster (not just in this Class… 1-A? Huh, what is the name of their class? Anyway, I meant all of the student body), ask yourself are there any students who wouldn't care of the popularity rankings? So far your story indicates Jones Academy might be following the structure of UA, so in addition to the general course some hero students say their civilians identities are part of, there might be support course students but I'm tentatively saying to myself "They might not have a support case. Might have a support school. This isn't UA after all"

(Huh, a thought came to my head. How in the world did Adrien convinced Gabriel to switch schools?)

That was my mindset. (Also, did you mean Team RWBY?)
Awesome! (Yes, I meant "Team RWBY." I have spelled their team name for so long that my body always goes on autopilot whenever I write it, and such I didn't bother double-checking the spelling since until now I always spelled the team name correctly.)

I actually meant "charismatic antagonist". Not a villain.
Ah. Rough overall outline planned and letting the story itself decide the flow (as well as minute details) of how it should go.

Yup, been there too.
 
I just wanted you all to know the reason this story hasn't been updated in so long is because I've been working on editing my story and I'm done with the prologue. (I might do it again later idk) so now to work on the first chapter.
 
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