So, this is something I have planned on writing since some time ago. Shaman King is today...
Stars and souls (Dresden Files/Shaman KIng)
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So, this is something I have planned on writing since some time ago. Shaman King is today mostly dead fandom, but with all of it's flaws, it is fun manga with interesting world and nice characters. I wondered how it would work in crossover, especially one as this, coming from very different medium and narrative. I hope you will enjoy it and help me with writing. Thanks to all who read this.
So first chapter, which is more of a prologue. It is bit bland in writing, and I hope to expand it. Honestly, it is more meant as to set the plot right away, but I hope I can improve it.
Chapter One: Off to see shaman
Mab, Queen of Air and Darkness, monarch of Winter, unquestioned ruler of Unseelie, mistress all dark and deadly things that go bump in night is not to be questioned. When she says jump, you ask how high. Even I, who generally disagreed with her at best and actively insulted her pride, despite-or maybe exactly because of-being her Winter Knight, in the end did what she asked even if I went over it my way. I might be completely confused, I might try to find a way around it, but in the end I should just shut up and do my job before she crucifies me. I pushed limits of such rules many times in past, though thankfully always when we were alone. I shouldn't become reliant on my luck. I certainly shouldn't shout at her.
Survival instincts and common sense were never my strongest points.
'' You want me to what?''
Mab's beautiful, perfect face did not move in slightest. She looked at me with her cold, cat-like eyes, utterly calm and calculating.
''I thought I was quite clear, sir Knight. I want you to travel to another universe and deal with present threats.''
Mab has asked few insane things from me over years of my service. Kill an immortal, break in Underworld and rob god's treasury, that kind of things. But this one topped them all.
''Just how do you expect me to accomplish traveling to another world?'' Hell, was that even possible? And even if it was, it would take energy, raw power and skill I wouldn't have in hundred years.
'' I don't expect you to succeed at that particular task, my Knight.'' Before I could utter a word of protest, she replied, grand and beautiful as stars. '' I shall be one to provide the transport.''
''How?'' Stupid question. Mab was freaking Faerie Queen, the embodiment of Winter. Her power bordered at those of gods. She blinked once, before continuing, talking slowly, as if she was speaking to a quite dumb little child-which I was, compared to her.
''The Nevernever connects all realms across time and space. Any place and point in reality can be reached through it. I will provide you with the Way, and you shall dispatch the threat.''
'' What threat? And why does that require me to leave my entire life behind?'' Going to Demonreach, another country, even Nevernever was somewhat acceptable. Even if you were away from people you loved, ones you called friends and family, you at least knew they were out there somewhere. You knew you could go back. But going to completely another world, with who knows what monsters and rules....
''The adversary.'' Mab whispered, and my face went pale.
Adversary. The chief infiltrator and one of main agents of Outsiders. The horrible, eldritch beings from another reality. Things that made Lovecraft look like bedtime storyteller in comparison. Ancient servants of the Old Ones, these beings, almost completely immune to magic, were so dangerous that Laws of Magic forbid even seeking to learn about them. Punishment for breaking that Law was swift, merciless beheading.
And they were trying to break in our reality. Murder, rape, pillage and burn on cosmic level. The entire Winter Court, most wicked and dangerous and dark of all faeries, were dedicated to protecting the Outer Gates. Adversary-it wasn't safe to refer it by it's name even in thoughts- could sneak beyond Gates, infiltrate mind and twist anybody in utter madness, defying even nature of things without souls, such as faeries. There was almost no way to detect it, and certainly not to defend against it.
''Why would they want that world?'' Mab's ethereal beauty was marred for second by shadow of calm worry and disdain, fleeting and fast as wind.
''That world is a version of Earth, extremely similar to one you are familiar with. Timeline isn't consistent-Earth you are familiar with appears to be ahead for little more than decade- but major events and points are consistent. Shape of continents, politics, history... But your world doesn't exist there.''
''What do you mean by that?'' Damn faeries and their cryptic riddles.
'' Unlike in some worlds, you don't have a double there. Not you, not wizards, not vampires. No White Council, no Church, and even my influence is slim to none. An entire world, undefended and ripe for taking.''
My heart may have stopped beating for a second. I didn't ponder the logistics of that universe. Mab's words were seared in my brain, panic threatening to flood through my veins. An entire planet, unaware and unprotected. Outsiders would thrive there, like sharks in open sea.
''Then why didn't you care for it?'' Note of anger was less than subtle in my voice. Mab, of all people-beings-knew what was at the stake. How could she....
''I couldn't. That world is distant from Nevernever. Walls between realms are thick there. Opening Ways is outright impossible in but less than ten places on the planet. Power that it would take to cross between realms is enormous. And even then, those who would cross would be there only in spirit, intangible and invisible, unable to interact with and influence the material world. That is why I'm sending you, a human, instead of legion of Sidhe soldiers.'' Temperature may have dropped for few degrees, for all that Mab kept utterly straight face.
That was...weird. I couldn't figure out how that would work, but in hindsight, I was stupid to assume Mab wouldn't do everything in her power to protect the reality. Cold-hearted bitch and queen of monsters she may be, but she was our cold-hearted bitch.
''Is there magic on that world?'' I couldn't imagine why otherwise Outsiders would be so interested in it. Mortals were pretty damn scary when they needed to be, and an entire planet of them marching against us would be nightmare to behold, but in war between Winter and Outsiders even every man, child and woman armed to teeth with iron wouldn't be enough to turn the tide in Outsider's favor.
''Yes. But not in a shape you would recognize it.''
''Elaborate.'' That made some more sense. Magic had rules, had Laws. You knew what it was doing and how it worked 90 % of time. It had strengths and weaknesses, it had limits and costs. You couldn't just wave hand and magic up solution to every problem. But magic from different world, with different rules could seriously change the game. Hard to play game when your opponents play by entirely different set of rules.
'' Their practicioners, rare as they are, are nothing like you wizards. They use no staffs and no incanations. Their knowledge of thaumaturgy is liminal at best, and of evocations close to none. Wise masters and mentors are scarce, and it is outright impossible for them to craft spells as your people can do. They know nothing of enchantments and potions, and only most skilled can manipulate matter in any way.
They cannot draw power from world, and mundane mortals cannot be taught and made in practicioners. Power they posses is one they are born with, and it is limited. Once they reach upper limit of their potential, it cannot be expanded. In many, talent is buried deep, and can only be unlocked by near death experience. For some, fatal experiences are only way to meaningfully grow. Their practices resemble that of minor talents you know. None of them can hope to live beyond ordinary human lifespan.''
''Then...why?'' More I listened, more this undertaking sounded insane. Why bother so much for a bunch of minor talents.
'' They call themselves shamans, links between human and spirit world, for they alone can see beings of magic. Your magic may seem like thing out of fantasy to them, but their own power would seem like miracles to you. From will and their own soul they draw power, and use it to command spirits. Their magic is focused on partnership with dead and creatures of Nevernever, whether willing... or not. Each of them is a skilled ectomancer, and among them are necromancers that could face Kemmler himself. With right training, even children can amass power to face the Senior Council.
They know how to summon dead, demons, my people, any sort of spirit, and bind them to their will. They know how to siphon off our powers, abilities, skill and knowledge. They can grant us physical shape, and in return we fulfill tasks for them. They know how to turn prayers in spells, and ordinary superstitions in powerful charms. They can craft weapons imbued with our powers, weapons that can harm even immaterial beings. They can heal almost as well as Summer Sidhe, divine future and cast deadly curses. They can break laws of magic and escape corruption, bind and imprison even gods and manipulate very essence of human soul.''
Oh fuck. I saw now what Outsiders wanted. These shamans sounded as if they were made to fight against beings of Nevernever. Perfect army against Winter fey. If they could truly bind gods, they could be threat even to the Queens. And if they were capable of toying with the souls....
There was no way one could break Laws of Magic and escape corruption. Something like that imprinted on you, twisted your mind and drove you mad. Once you started, it became easier and easier, as with every crime. Mab, creature of brutal rationality, of death and ruin and primal, murderous instincts couldn't understand how killing and torture changed people by all too mundane means. It was in her very nature. She didn't even consider it evil, for she had no concept of morality. Those people were mortals, and such deeds would twist them as much as it would twist people of this world, whether wizard or vanilla human. But it was possible they would be immune to magic's effects, to force of life and creation warping your mind until you were cackling mad thing. Which was much more dangerous. You couldn't count on irrationality and unnecessary sadism that would provide you with escape from such people. No gloating and tying one above pool of crocodiles, simply fast and efficient bullet in brain.
'' Your mission, Sir Knight, is to go to that world, blend in and search for Adversary, and participate in and prevent them from winning something called Shaman Fight. You yourself aren't allowed to seek victory in that fight. Once you are finished, you will be immediately returned to us.''
''Shaman Fight?'' What the hell was that?
''My sources weren't forthcoming with information. Apparently it is series of duels between shamans. I trust you will figure out details from locals. You have hour to go to the Well and warn genius loci of your absence. I suggest that you bring your spirit of intellect with you. She may be of use to you, given that you will likely need spirit to compete in those duels.'' And before I could protest, Mab disappeared in flurry of snow, leaving me alone in throne room of Arctis Tor.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
''Are we there?'' Bonnie whispered, and I could imagine bright green sparkles flying in eye sockets of wooden skull as she watched tunnels of Arctis Tor through hole in my backpack, with awe and curiosity, intent on absorbing every stray piece of knowledge as Sidhe Guards lead us through labyrinth of black ice and green flames. She knew better than to refer me as dad in presence of strangers-not that it would have changed much. Most supernatural creatures were aware of what happened last time somebody tried to harm one of my daughters.
''Not yet, but soon.'' I said same some fifteen minutes ago. In truth, I neither had idea where we were going, nor would I have remembered even if Mab had showed me where portal lay. Capital of Unseelies extended for miles under frozen ground and amassed snow.
Sidhe guards led us through web of darkness, silent and perfectly disciplined. From experience I knew that trying to start small talk (though more often it resembled snarky insults than not) would result in me being utterly ignored. And that hurt more than getting stabbed sometimes.
I had debated letting Bonnie come with me. No sane, responsible father would ever take child in fight, much less one that was going to be held in another world. But she was no ordinary girl. She was spirit of intellect, born from my psyche and sacrifice of shadow of fallen angel. As spirit, she was practically invulnerable as long as she didn't spend too much time outside of skull, and being what she was, she would be invaluable help in gathering the information.
Plus, I was there to smash anything that dared harm her in pieces.
After who knows how much time, we were led to deep icy cave, decorated with scribbled writings. Purple and green symbols glowed like northern lights upon black ice. Guards left us alone.
'' Hello, godson.'' Soft and sensual voice called out, raising hairs on my neck. Out of the shadows stepped my faery godmother, the Leanansidhe. Her curly red fell beneath hips, her green dress was cut so she could show her impressive chest and long leg, and her yellow eyes sparked with delight upon seeing me.
''Hello godmother. What are you doing here?'' I said with caution. Lea was my godmother, bound to protect and guide me by my mother's bargain. And indeed, she has been fulfilling that role during my entire life. But she was also a high noble of Winter, handmaiden of Mab herself, and her ideas of ''help'' tended to differ from human's at best of days. She spent better part of my life trying to turn me into a hound, and while she wasn't trying that anymore, it was still wise to be wavy of her.
''Oh, child.'' She said, smiling like cat.'' Mission you've been sent to is one of utmost importance. You will need somebody to guide and care for you. And to ensure that you apply some semblance of subtlety.''
''You are babysitting me?'' Shit. Mission with Lea.... How was I supposed to conduct investigation when I would likely spend all of my time stopping her from causing mass slaughter.
Winter faeries, of course. Thought probably didn't even cross Mab's mind. As far as she was concerned, I could drown world in blood as long as I eliminated the threat.
'' If you want to look at it that way. I would prefer to think of it as family trip.'' She walked over me and bent forward, staring at my backpack. I wasn't sure that she couldn't see wooden skull inside.
''I'm so pleased to finally meet your daughter, godson. Hello little one.'' She spoke, too low for anybody to hear. I couldn't see anybody, but glamours and veils were like breathing to fey. For all I knew, walls were spying too.
'' Hello. Who are you?'' Bonnie called out after some time.
'' I'm your father's faery godmother. You may call me auntie Lea, if you desire.''
''Like in Cinderella?''
'' Yes, exactly.'' I cursed myself for reading fairytales to her. Those things were bad places to start for information about fae. Last time lea behaved anything like that, I was going to war.
But then, on second thought, could I disprove that somewhere out there wasn't Summer Sidhe with knack for turning vegetables to vehicles. And I had no way of knowing if Cinderella didn't spill some blood herself.
''That's so cool! I'm glad you are coming, auntie Lea!'' Lea giggled and patted my backpack before taking a blue green crystal out of air and handing it to me.
''Um. What is this?''
'' When we cross over, I will be in same state as her. Disembodied, pure spirit. I will need something for you to house me in. Do not lose it.''
''Okay. I assure you I will take care of your house.''
''Of course you will. You are such a good boy.'' Compliment raised hairs at back of my neck. She said that in same way somebody would compliment a dog.
Low, dull sound echoes across hall, and I saw symbols flash and grow before tiny snow started falling. With a groan, as if Arctis Tor was being grind down, two blocks of black ice parted to reveal swirling, humming nexus of light.
''Well, it seems it is time for us to go. Hurry, Harry.'' My godmother said and giggled. After only second of hesitation, I followed her into light.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The child sleeps.
Is it a child, or a sage? Is it yet to grow, or is it already ancient ? What does it matter to it's keeper, it's unknown guardian, this ancient thing of malice and darkness and bottomless hunger ( is it of dark and death and pain, or are they of it-who knows, who can know, who cares, who dares to ask after all)?
The child may be old to some, may have lived beyond dozen lifetimes, may have been different shapes and forms, may have seen kingdoms rise and fall as centuries pass, may have seen cultures change and languages be born, but it's keeper has seen species come and go in but eye blink, has seen continents rise from magma and fire and seen them fall beneath water and salt. It has seen worlds be born and it has seen them shatter and collapse in ash, and it has played part in both ( mostly in latter). It has seen blasted bright stars come in existence and it will see them extinguished (bright and burning and horrible, it hungers and it will gobble them all up when time is right, down to every last, and whole reality will be cold and dark and silent, finally, after so long, after eons of waiting).
The child is young, and pretty enough, and strong if you take in account how weak all others are, wise if you consider how stupid those worms are. The dark thing grumbles and hungers. Maybe, and it reaches far and wide... Flash of light, a bright warning and reminder and no, it can't, not yet, not until it takes hold, not while child sleeps and has yet to fulfill purpose they plan and plot for child. But maybe someday, if it doesn't prove itself... Oh yes, yes, yes.
But for now, it turns eye to other threads, other plans, other small, bright worlds so easily extinguished...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well, here is it. Hope you loved it and that you give me criticism and pointers. Thank you!
So first chapter, which is more of a prologue. It is bit bland in writing, and I hope to expand it. Honestly, it is more meant as to set the plot right away, but I hope I can improve it.
Chapter One: Off to see shaman
Mab, Queen of Air and Darkness, monarch of Winter, unquestioned ruler of Unseelie, mistress all dark and deadly things that go bump in night is not to be questioned. When she says jump, you ask how high. Even I, who generally disagreed with her at best and actively insulted her pride, despite-or maybe exactly because of-being her Winter Knight, in the end did what she asked even if I went over it my way. I might be completely confused, I might try to find a way around it, but in the end I should just shut up and do my job before she crucifies me. I pushed limits of such rules many times in past, though thankfully always when we were alone. I shouldn't become reliant on my luck. I certainly shouldn't shout at her.
Survival instincts and common sense were never my strongest points.
'' You want me to what?''
Mab's beautiful, perfect face did not move in slightest. She looked at me with her cold, cat-like eyes, utterly calm and calculating.
''I thought I was quite clear, sir Knight. I want you to travel to another universe and deal with present threats.''
Mab has asked few insane things from me over years of my service. Kill an immortal, break in Underworld and rob god's treasury, that kind of things. But this one topped them all.
''Just how do you expect me to accomplish traveling to another world?'' Hell, was that even possible? And even if it was, it would take energy, raw power and skill I wouldn't have in hundred years.
'' I don't expect you to succeed at that particular task, my Knight.'' Before I could utter a word of protest, she replied, grand and beautiful as stars. '' I shall be one to provide the transport.''
''How?'' Stupid question. Mab was freaking Faerie Queen, the embodiment of Winter. Her power bordered at those of gods. She blinked once, before continuing, talking slowly, as if she was speaking to a quite dumb little child-which I was, compared to her.
''The Nevernever connects all realms across time and space. Any place and point in reality can be reached through it. I will provide you with the Way, and you shall dispatch the threat.''
'' What threat? And why does that require me to leave my entire life behind?'' Going to Demonreach, another country, even Nevernever was somewhat acceptable. Even if you were away from people you loved, ones you called friends and family, you at least knew they were out there somewhere. You knew you could go back. But going to completely another world, with who knows what monsters and rules....
''The adversary.'' Mab whispered, and my face went pale.
Adversary. The chief infiltrator and one of main agents of Outsiders. The horrible, eldritch beings from another reality. Things that made Lovecraft look like bedtime storyteller in comparison. Ancient servants of the Old Ones, these beings, almost completely immune to magic, were so dangerous that Laws of Magic forbid even seeking to learn about them. Punishment for breaking that Law was swift, merciless beheading.
And they were trying to break in our reality. Murder, rape, pillage and burn on cosmic level. The entire Winter Court, most wicked and dangerous and dark of all faeries, were dedicated to protecting the Outer Gates. Adversary-it wasn't safe to refer it by it's name even in thoughts- could sneak beyond Gates, infiltrate mind and twist anybody in utter madness, defying even nature of things without souls, such as faeries. There was almost no way to detect it, and certainly not to defend against it.
''Why would they want that world?'' Mab's ethereal beauty was marred for second by shadow of calm worry and disdain, fleeting and fast as wind.
''That world is a version of Earth, extremely similar to one you are familiar with. Timeline isn't consistent-Earth you are familiar with appears to be ahead for little more than decade- but major events and points are consistent. Shape of continents, politics, history... But your world doesn't exist there.''
''What do you mean by that?'' Damn faeries and their cryptic riddles.
'' Unlike in some worlds, you don't have a double there. Not you, not wizards, not vampires. No White Council, no Church, and even my influence is slim to none. An entire world, undefended and ripe for taking.''
My heart may have stopped beating for a second. I didn't ponder the logistics of that universe. Mab's words were seared in my brain, panic threatening to flood through my veins. An entire planet, unaware and unprotected. Outsiders would thrive there, like sharks in open sea.
''Then why didn't you care for it?'' Note of anger was less than subtle in my voice. Mab, of all people-beings-knew what was at the stake. How could she....
''I couldn't. That world is distant from Nevernever. Walls between realms are thick there. Opening Ways is outright impossible in but less than ten places on the planet. Power that it would take to cross between realms is enormous. And even then, those who would cross would be there only in spirit, intangible and invisible, unable to interact with and influence the material world. That is why I'm sending you, a human, instead of legion of Sidhe soldiers.'' Temperature may have dropped for few degrees, for all that Mab kept utterly straight face.
That was...weird. I couldn't figure out how that would work, but in hindsight, I was stupid to assume Mab wouldn't do everything in her power to protect the reality. Cold-hearted bitch and queen of monsters she may be, but she was our cold-hearted bitch.
''Is there magic on that world?'' I couldn't imagine why otherwise Outsiders would be so interested in it. Mortals were pretty damn scary when they needed to be, and an entire planet of them marching against us would be nightmare to behold, but in war between Winter and Outsiders even every man, child and woman armed to teeth with iron wouldn't be enough to turn the tide in Outsider's favor.
''Yes. But not in a shape you would recognize it.''
''Elaborate.'' That made some more sense. Magic had rules, had Laws. You knew what it was doing and how it worked 90 % of time. It had strengths and weaknesses, it had limits and costs. You couldn't just wave hand and magic up solution to every problem. But magic from different world, with different rules could seriously change the game. Hard to play game when your opponents play by entirely different set of rules.
'' Their practicioners, rare as they are, are nothing like you wizards. They use no staffs and no incanations. Their knowledge of thaumaturgy is liminal at best, and of evocations close to none. Wise masters and mentors are scarce, and it is outright impossible for them to craft spells as your people can do. They know nothing of enchantments and potions, and only most skilled can manipulate matter in any way.
They cannot draw power from world, and mundane mortals cannot be taught and made in practicioners. Power they posses is one they are born with, and it is limited. Once they reach upper limit of their potential, it cannot be expanded. In many, talent is buried deep, and can only be unlocked by near death experience. For some, fatal experiences are only way to meaningfully grow. Their practices resemble that of minor talents you know. None of them can hope to live beyond ordinary human lifespan.''
''Then...why?'' More I listened, more this undertaking sounded insane. Why bother so much for a bunch of minor talents.
'' They call themselves shamans, links between human and spirit world, for they alone can see beings of magic. Your magic may seem like thing out of fantasy to them, but their own power would seem like miracles to you. From will and their own soul they draw power, and use it to command spirits. Their magic is focused on partnership with dead and creatures of Nevernever, whether willing... or not. Each of them is a skilled ectomancer, and among them are necromancers that could face Kemmler himself. With right training, even children can amass power to face the Senior Council.
They know how to summon dead, demons, my people, any sort of spirit, and bind them to their will. They know how to siphon off our powers, abilities, skill and knowledge. They can grant us physical shape, and in return we fulfill tasks for them. They know how to turn prayers in spells, and ordinary superstitions in powerful charms. They can craft weapons imbued with our powers, weapons that can harm even immaterial beings. They can heal almost as well as Summer Sidhe, divine future and cast deadly curses. They can break laws of magic and escape corruption, bind and imprison even gods and manipulate very essence of human soul.''
Oh fuck. I saw now what Outsiders wanted. These shamans sounded as if they were made to fight against beings of Nevernever. Perfect army against Winter fey. If they could truly bind gods, they could be threat even to the Queens. And if they were capable of toying with the souls....
There was no way one could break Laws of Magic and escape corruption. Something like that imprinted on you, twisted your mind and drove you mad. Once you started, it became easier and easier, as with every crime. Mab, creature of brutal rationality, of death and ruin and primal, murderous instincts couldn't understand how killing and torture changed people by all too mundane means. It was in her very nature. She didn't even consider it evil, for she had no concept of morality. Those people were mortals, and such deeds would twist them as much as it would twist people of this world, whether wizard or vanilla human. But it was possible they would be immune to magic's effects, to force of life and creation warping your mind until you were cackling mad thing. Which was much more dangerous. You couldn't count on irrationality and unnecessary sadism that would provide you with escape from such people. No gloating and tying one above pool of crocodiles, simply fast and efficient bullet in brain.
'' Your mission, Sir Knight, is to go to that world, blend in and search for Adversary, and participate in and prevent them from winning something called Shaman Fight. You yourself aren't allowed to seek victory in that fight. Once you are finished, you will be immediately returned to us.''
''Shaman Fight?'' What the hell was that?
''My sources weren't forthcoming with information. Apparently it is series of duels between shamans. I trust you will figure out details from locals. You have hour to go to the Well and warn genius loci of your absence. I suggest that you bring your spirit of intellect with you. She may be of use to you, given that you will likely need spirit to compete in those duels.'' And before I could protest, Mab disappeared in flurry of snow, leaving me alone in throne room of Arctis Tor.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
''Are we there?'' Bonnie whispered, and I could imagine bright green sparkles flying in eye sockets of wooden skull as she watched tunnels of Arctis Tor through hole in my backpack, with awe and curiosity, intent on absorbing every stray piece of knowledge as Sidhe Guards lead us through labyrinth of black ice and green flames. She knew better than to refer me as dad in presence of strangers-not that it would have changed much. Most supernatural creatures were aware of what happened last time somebody tried to harm one of my daughters.
''Not yet, but soon.'' I said same some fifteen minutes ago. In truth, I neither had idea where we were going, nor would I have remembered even if Mab had showed me where portal lay. Capital of Unseelies extended for miles under frozen ground and amassed snow.
Sidhe guards led us through web of darkness, silent and perfectly disciplined. From experience I knew that trying to start small talk (though more often it resembled snarky insults than not) would result in me being utterly ignored. And that hurt more than getting stabbed sometimes.
I had debated letting Bonnie come with me. No sane, responsible father would ever take child in fight, much less one that was going to be held in another world. But she was no ordinary girl. She was spirit of intellect, born from my psyche and sacrifice of shadow of fallen angel. As spirit, she was practically invulnerable as long as she didn't spend too much time outside of skull, and being what she was, she would be invaluable help in gathering the information.
Plus, I was there to smash anything that dared harm her in pieces.
After who knows how much time, we were led to deep icy cave, decorated with scribbled writings. Purple and green symbols glowed like northern lights upon black ice. Guards left us alone.
'' Hello, godson.'' Soft and sensual voice called out, raising hairs on my neck. Out of the shadows stepped my faery godmother, the Leanansidhe. Her curly red fell beneath hips, her green dress was cut so she could show her impressive chest and long leg, and her yellow eyes sparked with delight upon seeing me.
''Hello godmother. What are you doing here?'' I said with caution. Lea was my godmother, bound to protect and guide me by my mother's bargain. And indeed, she has been fulfilling that role during my entire life. But she was also a high noble of Winter, handmaiden of Mab herself, and her ideas of ''help'' tended to differ from human's at best of days. She spent better part of my life trying to turn me into a hound, and while she wasn't trying that anymore, it was still wise to be wavy of her.
''Oh, child.'' She said, smiling like cat.'' Mission you've been sent to is one of utmost importance. You will need somebody to guide and care for you. And to ensure that you apply some semblance of subtlety.''
''You are babysitting me?'' Shit. Mission with Lea.... How was I supposed to conduct investigation when I would likely spend all of my time stopping her from causing mass slaughter.
Winter faeries, of course. Thought probably didn't even cross Mab's mind. As far as she was concerned, I could drown world in blood as long as I eliminated the threat.
'' If you want to look at it that way. I would prefer to think of it as family trip.'' She walked over me and bent forward, staring at my backpack. I wasn't sure that she couldn't see wooden skull inside.
''I'm so pleased to finally meet your daughter, godson. Hello little one.'' She spoke, too low for anybody to hear. I couldn't see anybody, but glamours and veils were like breathing to fey. For all I knew, walls were spying too.
'' Hello. Who are you?'' Bonnie called out after some time.
'' I'm your father's faery godmother. You may call me auntie Lea, if you desire.''
''Like in Cinderella?''
'' Yes, exactly.'' I cursed myself for reading fairytales to her. Those things were bad places to start for information about fae. Last time lea behaved anything like that, I was going to war.
But then, on second thought, could I disprove that somewhere out there wasn't Summer Sidhe with knack for turning vegetables to vehicles. And I had no way of knowing if Cinderella didn't spill some blood herself.
''That's so cool! I'm glad you are coming, auntie Lea!'' Lea giggled and patted my backpack before taking a blue green crystal out of air and handing it to me.
''Um. What is this?''
'' When we cross over, I will be in same state as her. Disembodied, pure spirit. I will need something for you to house me in. Do not lose it.''
''Okay. I assure you I will take care of your house.''
''Of course you will. You are such a good boy.'' Compliment raised hairs at back of my neck. She said that in same way somebody would compliment a dog.
Low, dull sound echoes across hall, and I saw symbols flash and grow before tiny snow started falling. With a groan, as if Arctis Tor was being grind down, two blocks of black ice parted to reveal swirling, humming nexus of light.
''Well, it seems it is time for us to go. Hurry, Harry.'' My godmother said and giggled. After only second of hesitation, I followed her into light.
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The child sleeps.
Is it a child, or a sage? Is it yet to grow, or is it already ancient ? What does it matter to it's keeper, it's unknown guardian, this ancient thing of malice and darkness and bottomless hunger ( is it of dark and death and pain, or are they of it-who knows, who can know, who cares, who dares to ask after all)?
The child may be old to some, may have lived beyond dozen lifetimes, may have been different shapes and forms, may have seen kingdoms rise and fall as centuries pass, may have seen cultures change and languages be born, but it's keeper has seen species come and go in but eye blink, has seen continents rise from magma and fire and seen them fall beneath water and salt. It has seen worlds be born and it has seen them shatter and collapse in ash, and it has played part in both ( mostly in latter). It has seen blasted bright stars come in existence and it will see them extinguished (bright and burning and horrible, it hungers and it will gobble them all up when time is right, down to every last, and whole reality will be cold and dark and silent, finally, after so long, after eons of waiting).
The child is young, and pretty enough, and strong if you take in account how weak all others are, wise if you consider how stupid those worms are. The dark thing grumbles and hungers. Maybe, and it reaches far and wide... Flash of light, a bright warning and reminder and no, it can't, not yet, not until it takes hold, not while child sleeps and has yet to fulfill purpose they plan and plot for child. But maybe someday, if it doesn't prove itself... Oh yes, yes, yes.
But for now, it turns eye to other threads, other plans, other small, bright worlds so easily extinguished...
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Well, here is it. Hope you loved it and that you give me criticism and pointers. Thank you!
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I'm sure there are more errors, but anything to do with tenses, I'm out since I still struggle with those. I colored some sentences blue as they could be reworded or formatted better, like a new paragraph or something when the narration focus onto a new action by a different character (and because I can't think of alternate ways to correct how to reword the sentence). Right now we don't know what's going on, and I know you're being deliberately vague, but keep in mind perspective confusion doesn't really look good in writing.
Who is narrating, the Outsider? Or is it Yoh's twin guardian, the ancient thing of malice and darkness and bottomless hunger? If so, the last blue sentence do need to look into when it comes to formatting wise because we don't know if the it refers to the dark thing, the guardian? Or is it the Outsider that grumbles since it was warned by the guardian?
It just needs better execution if you're going to make it mysterious and vague, because right now it's a bad kind of confusion going on. You've got most of the atmosphere and tone right and played nicely with the perspective of a mysterious alien being, it just needs to be more fluid. The confusion jars the atmosphere, tone and the fluid narration you set. Hence formatting and few rewording.
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- Location
- Montenegro
Sapphire Basil, thank you for your help. You are really nice.
I know it isn't really excuse, but English isn't my native language, and often when I write my mind boggles down in translation and starts operating by rules of my primary language, which tends to end up in confusion. I don't have beta, so threads like this are extremely useful. Thanks again.
As for first sentence in blue- It was meant to be being's musing, bit of question ( and hint) on its nature- is it being/spirit of darkness and death, or are those things consequence of it? Thanks for advice.
The dark thing is guardian (one of them at least). Narration is supposed to be in third person, but colored through perspective of a guardian. As for what guardian is, that will still remain unrevealed. All I can say is, that while it is guarding ''a child'' ( whose identity you guessed), it wouldn't be opposed to killing him ( or anybody else).
I know it isn't really excuse, but English isn't my native language, and often when I write my mind boggles down in translation and starts operating by rules of my primary language, which tends to end up in confusion. I don't have beta, so threads like this are extremely useful. Thanks again.
As for first sentence in blue- It was meant to be being's musing, bit of question ( and hint) on its nature- is it being/spirit of darkness and death, or are those things consequence of it? Thanks for advice.
The dark thing is guardian (one of them at least). Narration is supposed to be in third person, but colored through perspective of a guardian. As for what guardian is, that will still remain unrevealed. All I can say is, that while it is guarding ''a child'' ( whose identity you guessed), it wouldn't be opposed to killing him ( or anybody else).
English is my second language too, and I still struggle with tenses despite all my tutors and english teachers I went through. My mother language has no such thing as verb tenses.
Let me try to help on the last bit because it is seriously bothering me since it's just a simple formatting and rewording problem.
Considering how the whole last scene is italicized, just un-italicized them to stress the other spirits/guardians or whatever it is referring to. Or as: Are they of it?
Referring other beings sharing the same nature as itself, like your previous writing intention before?
Maybe what? Maybe hungers? Do spirits hunger, even guardians? That's the part that jars the sequence here. I advise to get rid of the maybe or reword the two sentences to work it in if you really want to keep the guardian questioning its state and nature. Maybe like this:
The dark thing grumbles and hungers... or was it truly hunger to that of how worms hunger? It reaches out, far and wide...
Remember, add paragraph when attention focuses back to something else since the sentence before focuses on the child. Like so...
Usually, the case of using multiple ands like that leans more onto lazy writing, not bad writing. Considering the problem was punctuation, you might have some leniency since the way you write this third perspective segment is a thought process style that works well enough. You can leave it to your readers to imagine the pause before the third and since I was able to pick up the pause without trouble.
Note, the adding paragraph for each new action is just an advice, not a rule of how to write because there are cases of exceptions. You'll grow experience and will recognize those cases as a writer. It also depends on how dramatic you want to make the writing and or how fluid you want to be. Because this could work out like this instead (also provided an alternative to the the third and punctuation problem above by just remove it and replacing it entirely):
There are many ways to rework the sequence, so feel free to ignore this.
Lol, I might be discouraging you from writing since I know editing process kills creative writing momentum, especially when you've got all these cool ideas in your head you want to put down without being bothered by grammar.
Let me try to help on the last bit because it is seriously bothering me since it's just a simple formatting and rewording problem.
Considering how the whole last scene is italicized, just un-italicized them to stress the other spirits/guardians or whatever it is referring to. Or as: Are they of it?
Referring other beings sharing the same nature as itself, like your previous writing intention before?
Maybe what? Maybe hungers? Do spirits hunger, even guardians? That's the part that jars the sequence here. I advise to get rid of the maybe or reword the two sentences to work it in if you really want to keep the guardian questioning its state and nature. Maybe like this:
The dark thing grumbles and hungers... or was it truly hunger to that of how worms hunger? It reaches out, far and wide...
Remember, add paragraph when attention focuses back to something else since the sentence before focuses on the child. Like so...
Usually, the case of using multiple ands like that leans more onto lazy writing, not bad writing. Considering the problem was punctuation, you might have some leniency since the way you write this third perspective segment is a thought process style that works well enough. You can leave it to your readers to imagine the pause before the third and since I was able to pick up the pause without trouble.
Note, the adding paragraph for each new action is just an advice, not a rule of how to write because there are cases of exceptions. You'll grow experience and will recognize those cases as a writer. It also depends on how dramatic you want to make the writing and or how fluid you want to be. Because this could work out like this instead (also provided an alternative to the the third and punctuation problem above by just remove it and replacing it entirely):
There are many ways to rework the sequence, so feel free to ignore this.
Lol, I might be discouraging you from writing since I know editing process kills creative writing momentum, especially when you've got all these cool ideas in your head you want to put down without being bothered by grammar.
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Which one are you mainly using, the Manga or the Anime? Cause the manga gets pretty ridiculous in its bullshit power levels at the ending arcs. I mean power of the universe against the power of the planet.
- Location
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This one is set after anime concerning plot, however it uses backstories from manga and some other such elements. I won't be using such high-level elements, however, as it would cause problems- in DF gods and similar higher powers are restrained. having somebody walk around with most powerful elemental embodiments ever, who also can get even more powerful if they start eating other spirits is too much. Only other way to balance it out would be to have Mab or somebody similar gain free will and ability to absorb other beings, which I obviously can't do.
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Once again thank you so much. I mostly struggle with articles and verb tenses too ( my language does have verb tenses, but usually you just add right suffix).
That scene in particular references connection between being in question and elements/qualities it lists, like darkness and death.
I see I didn't do well with this part. I should elaborate. Maybe was supposed to show that creature is considering eating it's ward. Also, way you rewrote that sentence is really nice. Also, thank you very much for your advice concerning paragraphs and formatting. They are really useful.
Also, you aren't discouraging me in any way. Things like this are extremely useful and fun for me. Thank you again.
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Oh, thank you so much.
That sounds like something Harry would do. Travel to Patch village would be very interesting with him. Pity Mab got rid of his fire spells.
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- Sea of Dirac
Again? She took them away from him again?
Oh come on Mab. He doesn't even have the favor the Summer Fae anymore.
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If I remember correctly, she got rid of them at beginning of Cold Days. I don't remember if she returned them in Skin Game, however.
Fact that pleases her immensely. He is her knight, and Titania is her sister. Anything Harry does that is mildly problematic for Seelie can be interpreted as Mab messing up Titania -they seriously have horrible relationship, it makes Hao and Yoh look like personifications of brotherly love. Good thing fae don't have family gatherings (well, they would end with Mother Winter just killing everybody while Mother Summer is shaking head and muttering not again).
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He got his magic back. All of it. He's been using a combination of Ice and Fire for a while now after he got over the trauma of his hand melting. Suck the heat out of an area and use it to improve his fire spells.
He was even able to redirect hellfire empowered fire fairly easy when going up against Laciel's host.
edit: Just double checked it, he never lost it in Cold Days. Though he has been favoring ice magic even more so than earlier in the series
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Thank you for that information. For some reason I remembered Mab taking away his memories of fire magic in Cold Days.
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- Sea of Dirac
That was Small Favor when Harry had to protect John Marcone from the Summer Fae and they would track him by fire magic and his Summer token
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Oh, mixed it up. It has been few years since I read the books. Thank you for information, it will make some scenes much more interesting.
Do you have any criticism?
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Well Bonnie should already know what Harry and Lash knew about Fae in general though given how immature she is, she may often arrive and the wrong conclusions given evidence. I've seen it like giving a hypochondriac unlimited access to all medical databases.
But having her being a kid on top of that is going to be fun! She'll be exuberant about given her daddy all the information he could possibly want and not want... and given that its mostly null and void in shamanverse... kekeke.
But that's mostly what I can see happening. For the current chapters, you seem spot on for the most part except where Harry asks Mab to elaborate. He's giving her a command practically. Maybe him pausing, wincing then adding in, "please?" or something along those lines?
Edit: Also mab's info dump could stand to be broken up. And when having full paragraphs of the same person talking, You start it with " even on the next paragraph and only end with " on the last paragraph.
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Given what we have seen of Bonnie, I got impression that she has vast amount of theoretical knowledge, but due to her age, no practical experience. So she is aware that fae can't lie, what powers and weaknesses they have and so on, but she has no experience in getting bad end of deal (aka any deal with fae). Lea is fae, she can't lie and Harry confirms that yes, she is his godmother. Bonnie's magical database contains fae godmother only in forms of fairytales Harry read to her (because he is sweet sap like that), so she assumes that Lea isn't dangerous.
Bonnie here, as I'm writing her, is like 5 year old child going on trip with dad, who is told that dad will help people and that she will be very useful to him, plus now she discovers cool magical auntie is going along with them. And she will be useful- many shaman's spirits are mythological creatures Harry is unfamiliar with, plus she is useful at uncovering information.
Thank you for that. Now I see that part-thank you, will edit it.
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Yeah that's kind of what I was trying to get at.
Her beastiary will come in handy even if not all the same rules apply.
Bonnie will make for a great oversoul for Harry's staff while Leansidhe will be perfect for his blasting rod. Frost fire!
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Well, biggest problem Harry would have is that he can't just hit things. In his world he can stab troll with steel (hypotethically) but here all beings are immaterial. However, powers and behaviors are same. Plus she can school him up on sorts of shamans and techniques.
Well I was thinking of going opposite route. But he will focus on using his wizardry foremost-at least until he gets hang of it.
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
I'm sort of freaking out about the level of power that Harry has here.
Lea is Mab's second in power. She was killing Lords of the Outer Night, physical god tier foes, in THEIR place of power and by all appearances, doing it casually.
Bonnie on the other hand is Harry's Doylist upgrade from Bob. who is a powerhouse among in his own right especially among spirits.
If there isn't a scene where Harry really underestimates himself and/or overestimated his opponent(s) I will be severely disappointed.
Lea is Mab's second in power. She was killing Lords of the Outer Night, physical god tier foes, in THEIR place of power and by all appearances, doing it casually.
Bonnie on the other hand is Harry's Doylist upgrade from Bob. who is a powerhouse among in his own right especially among spirits.
If there isn't a scene where Harry really underestimates himself and/or overestimated his opponent(s) I will be severely disappointed.
Bonnie would have the knowledge from her mother, right? I mean how much does a fallen angel know, even if she was a shade? Considering how old and ancient angels are, probably before the creation of earth, I would say a shade of a fallen angel or not, she would know a lot, more than Bob I bet.
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- Sea of Dirac
WoG has it that Lash knew everything Lasciel had but lacked the power to back up that knowledge nor the ability to pass it on to Harry as completely. Bonnie has everything Lash did minus hellfire, plus everything Harry ever knew... which admittedly not as much as Lasciel but its something.
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He will bring some skills, but not exacrly those.
1) They are far far out of his league.
2) Learning such thing would take years at best.
3) Even in Sk, those things aren't just lying around. They are very very obscure techniques.
4) Harry really isn't attuned to that type of magic.
5) Were he somehow to bring skills over, powerful things would notice. Too powerful and patient for Harry to deal with them.
You are right, those two are big advamtage. I plan to balance them out by 1) Bonnie having insane amount of knowledge but still being relatively weak and inexperienced-she is still just a kid and 2) Lea being too powerful to use too long. I think that we all can agree that magically she is way out of Harry's class and in SK if you play with spirit stronger than you it will eventually sap your lifeforce.
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- Montenegro
Thank you all for help. You are very nice and your comments are really insightful.
Due to some real life situations, I won't be able to post second chapter for at least few days. So in meantime here is small part of writing meant to go at end. These sections are proving to be my favorites.
So. So,so,so.
The starborn, oh-so moral Knight and the once contaminated muse, treacherous handmaiden, have finally arrived. Good, good. It was past reasonable time for that little cold girl to make her move already.
The darkness smiles- as much as it can manage to. Its enemies think they control Gates, that they control siege. Fools. Let them plan and resist, plot and sacrifice and try. No matter what, in the end pieces will fall exactly as it intended them to.
Its host races without pause, without rest. It is agent perfect for this task- grand,powerful best, but stupid beast nonetheless. Piece of darkness dwells within it, piece of strength that gives beast power it couldn't have imagined in wildest dreams, and so now it must serve.
What wonder it is, what being can do when mind leading it does not care what will happen when you push it beyond limits. When it does not care about blood freezing, muscles tearing as bones grind in dust while sentience fades away.
And finally, beast arrives to depths of Hell. It is almost familiar to darkness-almost, for it isn't as involved in sins and pains of heart, nor is Hell as hungry.
Its host and champion goes on and on while Hell turns cold,silent,dark. Demons flee until only a Lord of this domain is left, and puny godling falls soon.
Now comes the true task. Bringing forth the force protected and contained within. Burning, shining power from which stars claim descent. It doesn't flee or attack the darkness-it has too much respect and healthy amount fear, but it doesn't trust, it would never trust this dark,deadly thing. Other would have been trusted, but the light is too gentle, too fond of coddling to keep mouths shut.
But this power is foolish, sentimental creature, too bound in loyalty and love, weakness which makes it so easy to bind and exploit. So darkness takes its dying agents voice and offers bait.
"I can lead you to your master."
Due to some real life situations, I won't be able to post second chapter for at least few days. So in meantime here is small part of writing meant to go at end. These sections are proving to be my favorites.
So. So,so,so.
The starborn, oh-so moral Knight and the once contaminated muse, treacherous handmaiden, have finally arrived. Good, good. It was past reasonable time for that little cold girl to make her move already.
The darkness smiles- as much as it can manage to. Its enemies think they control Gates, that they control siege. Fools. Let them plan and resist, plot and sacrifice and try. No matter what, in the end pieces will fall exactly as it intended them to.
Its host races without pause, without rest. It is agent perfect for this task- grand,powerful best, but stupid beast nonetheless. Piece of darkness dwells within it, piece of strength that gives beast power it couldn't have imagined in wildest dreams, and so now it must serve.
What wonder it is, what being can do when mind leading it does not care what will happen when you push it beyond limits. When it does not care about blood freezing, muscles tearing as bones grind in dust while sentience fades away.
And finally, beast arrives to depths of Hell. It is almost familiar to darkness-almost, for it isn't as involved in sins and pains of heart, nor is Hell as hungry.
Its host and champion goes on and on while Hell turns cold,silent,dark. Demons flee until only a Lord of this domain is left, and puny godling falls soon.
Now comes the true task. Bringing forth the force protected and contained within. Burning, shining power from which stars claim descent. It doesn't flee or attack the darkness-it has too much respect and healthy amount fear, but it doesn't trust, it would never trust this dark,deadly thing. Other would have been trusted, but the light is too gentle, too fond of coddling to keep mouths shut.
But this power is foolish, sentimental creature, too bound in loyalty and love, weakness which makes it so easy to bind and exploit. So darkness takes its dying agents voice and offers bait.
"I can lead you to your master."