[X] Watch Lord of The Rings! Nice safe, enjoyable film series! You even have the highly collectible Uncut Edition! It includes semisubjective years of backstory and extra dialogue! (And fucking, you forgot about all the fucking)
[X] Sit between them and show them a gay as fuck romantic comedy
-[X] But in the original Klingon, and end up sparking a friendly debate over subs vs dubs
--[X] But but, get a big butter-proof bucket of popcorn (you learned that lesson the hard way once already) and some napkins and drinks first