Day 33 of the Voyage
"Again!" Prof smiled with bared teeth as she withdrew xeir blunt solid light practice swords from my shoulder and torso. "Your meta-tactic technique is good but you need to work on translating that to recognition of the unknown. I have over 12 million years of learning and deconstructing the ways of the blade in a myriad of ways but I was not exposed to the aesthetic liberatory depth of the contextual sword like that you helped create, until you reached out to me by echo." She started to take steps back.
"Right," I smiled and brought my blades level. "What we saw of your forms, the core of your styles is how attuned your blade is to your body, it dances with you as you put more or less force, acrobatics, and momentum," we thought on psychology for a moment and knowledge of human martial arts. "Or better said: confrontation. How much you confront directly, how much you allow opponents to attempt to strike and merely dodge out of the way, your meta is flow, it is almost theater to you, a dance with your spark."
"Very good!" Xey guffawed boisterously. "That's right, my emotional state teams up with skill and self framing. Do you have a guess of how to combat that when there is such a difference in time to build experience?"
"Knowing your personality," I grinned, and raised my solid light sword and dagger in an opening stance, left handed dagger in front of me as I stood with one shoulder facing forward, my sword over my head. "Which I do very well."
"Good luck," she grinned back and started to circle around me with xey swords forward, her feet making light thuds on the sparring room's metal floor.
I also stepped around xem, and kept contact with her optics. When I saw her face grow more indiscernible in expression, I moved right into xeir charge and brought my sword and dagger to block her stab to my left and sidewards slice to my right, and then threw myself into xem, my torso slamming into her own, and I snuck my left leg around xeir right to tug.
She fell backwards, and as xey did so she threw xeir left sword point blank to my waist while she pulled back on my own leg with xeirs. I couldn't block the ferocious throw and withstand her trip both, so I took the fall.
I immediately wriggled out of xeir grip the same time she did mine, stowed my blades on my thighs, backflipped into my alt mode, and rolled away from xeir leap with her sword towards me.
I skidded around to the left, and transformed back to my bot mode, my sword drawn against hers and with my speed pushing well into where xey was, and found she had let go of the blade just before ours clashed- and stepped behind me.
I tried to slow my run and turn right and saw xem gather her blade from the floor and toss it at my back.
THUD.
I felt it clang against me and I slowly came to a walk and stop, where she hugged me.
"Transformation is one of our most powerful tools and does give a tremendous edge, but in your case and mine it can make us too fast for melee against someone who knows that strength well. See if you can find another way." Xey smooched my cheek.
"Will do," I smiled, but then wavered in my expression. "I feel out of my league for the task ahead."
"Nonsense. Besides Galebreach you are the most knowledgeable person here on matters of aesthetics and non-combat solutions and regimes." She gave me a squeeze. "I believe in you, you had all that I wanted in your youth and life, save for us both wanting peace from the existential turmoil of society. You all are more than prepared, Arcana Magnus, Director Elect of the Anchor Agency and Sage of the Primes. Just a different preparation than me. I am far more used to relying on myself. Again."
Was that a hint? Daniel thought.
I think so. I replied.
Prof and I let go of each other, and backed away, our two blades each in front of us.
Battle Poetics – in the current style. I thought.
Defensive with occasional strikes – let her listen and see. Daniel thought back.
I stepped forward, and took a probing strike out of range with my sword.
Xey of course did not respond to the faux strike. I strode in dagger first with my blade striking in a downwards right slice, as I began to sing, voice shimmered and aflame:
"They say that in the beginning,"
She blocked my blows and struck back. I parried her stab and upwards cut.
"When we were still naming ourselves in all our aspects,"
I feinted a pommel blow and didn't follow through with an actual strike after xey attempted to block.
"Our lives were curious play,"
I parried her stabs and kneed xeir waist.
"And construction by us so few then,"
She stumbled back and I stayed still, weapons bared, and sang more.
"And we rose and blossomed in a crescendo of sparkful context, making our imaginations real–"
Xey charged at me.
"Daring to live in harmony with the world and each other happily with more whys than could ever be answered."
Xey struck with all her might where I was a moment before, I sidestepped into xeir tripping of my leg.
As I stumbled, I managed to bring my feet forward and run to strike a sword stab to her back.
"And now amidst endless war we choose death in battle again and again,"
Xey turned and blocked my strike and struck towards me with her other blade in a downward slash. I parried and stepped back.
"We choose death for our love- for a plurality and revolution compromised by our fight,"
Xeir optics widened and she charged closer, making breakthrough strikes on my parries-
I ducked out of the way.
"We spill one another's blood. We all who choose our shapes and signifiers, every one of us,"
I leaped to strike her shoulders, xey blocked with unusual slowness.
I kicked at her chest, xey sped up and knocked me aside.
"We corpse for corpse love each other, and we still dance our iterations and splendor,"
I hit the floor, and pushed myself up on my fists to meet her blades with mine.
"But we cry, we cry and cry, for we spill one another's blood,"
I leapt back and returned to a ready stance with my blades in front of me.
"Our kin of myriad origins lost in their way of martial brutality as a solution instead of story,"
Xey growled and started to circle around me, I did the same around her.
"They imprison and execute among their number when we would reconcile and heal,"
Xey dove at me - and I hit her left sword hard enough to knock it out of xeir hand as she tried to bear down and over me as my dagger strained against xeir other saber.
"Once we plunged to quest and engage collectively- but our ideas did not spread in time,"
She punched me in the waist and brought xeir right sword down towards my left shoulder.
I let the force of her fist carry me away- I scampered back.
"We choose death in battle again and again,"
I felt my raw emotions well up in my optics and my spark – it was hard to focus on the fight.
We can do this – we thought together, as an overlapped oneness.
I staggered in sorrow – xey rushed at me – and I delivered a side kick to her center torso.
"We choose death for our love – corpse for corpse we love each other,"
I rushed in and leapt above her leg sweep, and my sword came down on xem and was met by her own.
Xey rolled to the side and stood- shakes across her frame.
"When once we only played curiously and knew mirth–"
"STOP!" Prof cried out with droplets down xeir face. She knelt and dropped xeir sword. "I can't. I can't fight this– fight you– not like this." In her tears xey smiled with an ablaze look in her optics, one I knew well, on the edge of turmoil. "You figured it out. Though no war is just, your wars were better than mine in many ways, but this one is also truly the worst, it sounds like. What you have there, that touch, a deep connection to iteration, to storytelling, to a profound vastness of myriad love, that's one of your world's greatest strengths, almost divine to me, an atheist. You can transform so much- understandings mightier than all my years of combat-" xey curled up.
We knelt by her, and put down our blades, and hugged xem as she quaked.
"I– I always wanted– to get that time and community– it was taken from me– and I only had it as a liminality or lost to each other for so long– and now we try to build, make up for lost time with new stories– and it is beautiful, but we have so much to dig out of," xey held me close. "You might not yet be a million years old, but you and your society a bit over a million are older than my high points of euphoria and understanding of what you speak to. You are ready for what is ahead, hold on to your wisdom…" her cries grew quiet and wordless.
"Oh, oh Arcee, we're so sorry," we nuzzled our head next to xem. "We know it hurts–"
"No, don't be, this is what we needed to hear," she nuzzled back.
="All hands and passengers, we are approaching Hytherion's open gut wound, igniting paracausal shielding. Boarding teams head to the hangar bay for rendezvous with inbound Flaternity agents."= Captain Hot Shot stated and messaged over ship comms.
"We should get moving, practice swords stowed, and go get the sharps" Prof patted my back stacks and stood, I joined xem.
"You going to be OK?" I asked.
"Are you?" She looked at me.
"No, but we try to live and make something of the day anyway. That's all we can do."
Backpack idly rubbed my thumb from my hand she held with her own as we stood among the orderly group of four dozen bots assembled in the hangar, most with simple biolit sleekness to their varied range of frames like herself, with stowed equipment and arms, along with some splindier, more jagged, and highly kibbled bots, along with twenty two organics in spacesuits. Galebreach, Prof, Chimera, Aileron, Splendid, and a ruggedly sleek Hot Shot, Wheeljack, and Nautica stood in front of us all talking among themselves. Grimlock was next to us with an arm around Backpack.
="You two usually sit back from last minute discussions?"= I asked teasingly.
="Haha, well, sometimes it helps to have optics about outside- though we've both done time in command as you know,"= Backpack gave my hand a squeeze. ="We like to have the opportunity to respond to things- and sometimes not being at the center of discussion lets us do that more easily."=
="What my Amica Endura here is trying to say is that we are almost always egging for adventure, but you've known that for a while already,"= Grimlock chuckled.
="What's your favorite adventure you've had?"= I smiled at him.
="Oh- would have to be that time we joined up with the Knights of Cybertron to help them find their way home-"=
="Fellow crew, if we may have your attention please,"= Nautica smiled at the lot of us, her red thigh, waist, and shoulder biolights dilated between her purple, yellow, and silver armor with each syllable of her audio file voice. ="Just got word from our detection and comms team that our Flaternity agent friends just popped out of Unspace outside the hangar-"=
The outer gates of the hangar started to open to the starry void. I magnetized my feet to the floor out of habit, and looked out to see a smooth rounded Earth-chicken egg shaped ship with two wings in the distance with glyphs Mooddream along the bow. It slowly came in towards us on energon thrusters, blue, green, and purple signal lights flashing.
="To review the plan- we are going to join them on their vessel and take up gear they give us to weather Hytherion's innards. Flaternity has been busy dealing with active threats of beyond multiverse invaders, but these two agents are more than adequately prepared- they are famed adventurers, historians, and peacebuilders among their people."=
Nautica paused. ="Do not assume everything inside the dormant creature is a threat, but be battle ready. What intel we have from our Flaternity kin from their scouting forays is that there is life in there- hiding. Keep your paracausal anchors tuned- message Wheeljack, myself or any engineers on the team if you have trouble- we will be with you. As elected head diplomat aboard- I am commanding this mission. Clear?"=
="Clear!"= we all replied.
The Mooddream pulled in, extended four stubby landing legs- and came to rest on the hangar floor. A large tube extended out of the ventral side- its airlocks opened, and two bots Daniel and I recognized but still found ourselves in awe of these gestalt iterations' frames strolled out hand in hand and waved.
One was lanky, green, silver, and beige with wings and armor skirts, the other blocky and short, grey, red, and white. Yet their shapes had flat swirls of orange and purple biolights across their bodies, and their optics cyan irises were ringed with stars.
I of course noticed that both bots had a prismatically sheathed broadsword each on their hips, and smirked; perhaps they are also fans of swordplay.
="Hi new friends,"= the tall gave a wide roguish grin. "I'm Anode, she/they- and my Conjunx here is-"=
="Lug, nice to meet you all!"= The short one blew a kiss to the rest of us. ="Let's get onboard- we read your crew and passenger files, we'll get to know each other best we can on a quest like this."=
I shivered, and saw Prof and Aileron did also with a smile like mine. =Miss your two Amica Endura?= I asked.
=We do, really do.= Prof replied.
=You're not alone Zoomy.= Aileron added. =We'll see all our living loves again.=
Sadness filled my frame, I gripped Backpack's hand hard- unsure of the source-
It's not fair, Daniel thought. My dears of our organic family chose not to cyberformat, they've been dead for forever, can barely remember them all now with you, Arcana dear. I don't want this, I don't want to keep going like a relic-
=Zoomy? What's going on?= Backpack turned to me.
Daniel please, I grasped my head. I know it hurts - but we're stuck right now unless we can get the Matrix to take us home.
="Pardon-"= Anode reached out to me with a cortical patch in hand attached to her neck. ="Let us show you something."=
Daniel? I queried.
Fine. ="Er- how do you know what's going on in our head?"= He inquired.
="We've seen it before, long-term loss of a world and lonely context- many of us have felt it."= Anode touched my face ="Fairly obvious that it wasn't Arcana who had the most longing, based on the file you two wrote for yourselves."=
="Show us, then"= Daniel and I said together.
Anode put the patch on my neck- and memories flowed to us-
No- revived for us- we thought- as I for the first time and Daniel for the second time experienced a rush of his first few thousand years of life- growing up on Gliese Exiom in habdomes and lush greenery, read to and learning of the stars, history, and literature from her mother Cathode Torrent, mechanics and geology from xeir father Sparkplug Witwicky- wandering the hills, playing board games, and sharing meals with them and his sweet sibling Buster, suave Butch, and poetic Nancy- while making her way through education and taking to mechatronic engineering. Days of happy regional work on robot drones, vehicles, and gear that helped people around over the decades along with stargazing rest- until she met me when our galactic alliance thought it was time to make contact with humanity after they picked up some of our communications and sent us greetings.
Something struck then, you saw me among the delegation and heard me speak, you wanted to talk- and then volunteered to binary bond with me as a way for our species to get to know each other- and I was young and did not quite grasp how experiencing your experience of your gender system was going to be hard.
I also didn't quite realize how close we'd be, that you'd show me something about myself- and I did feel bad about how your mental health dropped for a while before we worked things out-
Which was for the better- you've been a wonderful companion, and our journey helped you meet Llyra. The day was crystal clear in our minds- we had gone to Nebulos for a martial arts summit, and met quite the warrior of the strideful Helimu style- a blue-haired green figure in scale mail who introduced emself as Llyra Solenium - and I got to see you two hit it off with astronomy, pacifism, and eventually a first date at Cloud Falls, those lovely blue trees under a pink sky and the glowing moon-
Really really will never get old that you can make self reference puns that also tie in to 21st century originated human symbology- Daniel's sparklines felt calmer.
The adventures we had together- introducing families- adopting two children- the arguments and pleads Daniel had with all of the organic parts of our family to take up cybermodding like her to live out their days with us- and how xey eventually gave up and tried to enjoy it-
I'm so sorry-
It's okay- it's what they wanted.
There were the grandchildren, the cousins- eventually each immediate member besides mine passed away- and over the millenia, contact was slowly lost with the descendants, who were happy to see us, but had their own lives to live rather removed from our contexts- unlike the transformers among us- who did not estrange so easily.
Daniel's mind fixated on that last year with Llyra- walking with em, still sparring, traveling the stars, and coming to rest back on Nebulos for two months- xem holding Llyra as I held them both when e passed on in eir sleep.
I can remember- I can remember how she looked, she died in her battle armor, she'd insist on keeping it on that whole last year, it was a new moon that night, a hot summer, wingwyrms cawed on the shore- the kids and grandkids were pretty sad.
I know- I've always tried to share the memory with you, it's clear as day to me.
I always have to reference from you, like a library book. Now, my soul can hold on, to when her body and spark parted on different voyages.
Thank you Anode- we thought towards the presence of the bemused and empathy code emanating gestalt in the furthest corner of our mind, trying to give us space.
Of course- seeing people find a sense of home is one of my greatest joys, and Daniel needed that right now- she detached the cortical patch, and the vividness of the memories stayed, though Daniel let them pass, to focus on the now.
Anode hugged us, and we returned the embrace, before she let go.
="We understand that you all already know what this entails and that this mission will most likely test our brains' abilities to cope with time-death."= Lug commed. ="So, unless people have questions, let's get going."=
="I do have one question, though unrelated"= Wheeljack rubbed his chin-beard. ="Can I have the specs for your ship?"=
Comms laughter broke out among us.
="Well yes, if you are willing to try and make sense of ascendant physics, they're a real headache."= Anode's wings flapped. ="Anyone else?"=
A bunch of us shook our heads.
="Very well-"= Lug turned around. ="Let's move out"=
We made our way down to and stepped onboard the tube, and were lifted up. The airlocks inside opened to a light brown and pink interior of compact cabinets.
Lug walked up to one and opened it, and dug out a handful of spherical button laden gadgets. "Gravity regulators, we don't know what kind of astronomical phenomena you'll find in there, these will keep you from getting crushed by a Roche Limit. The technology is really complicated to reproduce: they're left over from Alternity, we're still working on it. Go grab one!"
The lot of us opened cabinets and dug out the little spheres, and then turned to Anode and Lug.
Lug took the one she had in hand and pressed a green button on the side, and opened her chest compartment and put the sphere inside, where it magnetized. She shut the cover of her chest cavity after. "One and done- any issues, let us know."
"Duly noted," Grimlock put the regulator sphere in his side-hip compartment.
"Head on up the hall with us, we're going to get rolling," Anode walked down the hallway, and we followed past passageway doors and through another doorway - an extensive bridge full of passenger chairs.
"Pardon, how do you two run the ship?" Nautica asked. "There's - only two of you, and I see ten bridge seats here!"
"We patch in," Lug pulled out a cortical patch. "We are the ship, more or less."
"Fascinating," Wheeljack smirked. "Always wondered what being a ship with another consciousness was like- tell me more sometime?"
"Sure!" Anode jacked into the pilot bridge from her seat, and the rest of us sat down in chairs. "First- Hytherion awaits."
I could see out the observation window as we all sat- the ship lifted up and reversed out of the hangar- and turned rightwards to the cyclopean gray spindly galaxy sized there-and-not-there mighty creature that was Hytherion- filling the entirety of what I could see out the window. A long-torn hole in the creature the size of a large island twinkled with prismatic lights directly ahead of us, tiny compared to the starlit gray mass.
We had seen it for the last two days- but it still amazed me deeply, and horrified me, to have zoomed in a bit on ship scopes to see what the lights were through the hyperdimensional distance blur.
"Best adventure yet?" I asked Backpack from our seats.
"Definitely," she leaned on me. "Glad y'all, Galebreach, and Prof could be here- you have a different experience of realization that makes this quest very special, just as I know it just through the context of my lived experience with literal transformation."
"Have to admit, if I was a car," Galebreach sat by Grimlock. "I'd want that blocky speedy look you have in my colors, Backpack."
"Ooo-" Backpack and I said together, and she carried on after we chuckled. "That'd be so cool! Yeah- I revel in my alt mode, it's a way to express something different than my walking curvature."
"Same for me- I get to let go a bit when stomping around," Grimlock laughed. "Even though my shape retains burliness in both aspects- but being Volcanicus with the Dinobots," he looked off into the stars. "They're something else- acrobatic agility, with a daring vigor that wafts a self delight in a lankier stride and battle ferocity." He smiled over at Prof. "Kind of like you four- the closest I get to feeling that personally."
The ship accelerated into the gap- and slowed again when we entered the breach. Gasps and stifled cries broke out among us. On my part, from seeing what the twinkled lights were: spherical droplets of melted and hardened of matter with bits of ships, large metal arms, jagged bones, on the scale of the encased white, red, and brown dwarfs inside that pulsed flares. Some of the droplets were half-shaped into scales, dormant and still.
"Oh gods…" Nautica muttered. "I saw this in the scope tools- but- to see it close- how awful. The multiverse need not be so collaterally cruel for balance."
"We make the worlds we want ourselves now," Prof patted her back. "Whatever or whoever arranged the previous order, even if just unintentional evolution- doesn't seem to be a factor right now."
"Astute observation," Lug nodded. "We are part of nature- and have to be responsible about it for and with all coinhabitants."
"Hang on, I think I see something-" Chimera went up to the window. "Lend me one of your scopes."
"Sure thing," Anode gestured to the cortical patch that unfurled out of the console. "It's fairly intuitive and we'll help you."
"Right…" Chimera grabbed the patch and put it on his neck. "Turning… magnifying… ah, here- can you get this onscreen for everyone?"
"Ah- that wasn't over there last scouting mission!" Lug exclaimed, and the front screen below the window came on- a large tunnel riddled with glowing gray tubes- almost veinlike, sat on a tissue-cliffside, and above the tunnel was a glowing color-changing cloud shaped light.
"If legends are correct," Splendid Convoy stood and knelt. "That is a sign the Transformation Matrix wants to see us."
The light darted down the tunnel.
"Going deep inside Hytherion is going to get weirder," Anode cackled. "Here goes nothing!"
The ship veered in, and I felt a headache start to come on as we flew down the tunnel, following the light.
You doing okay, Daniel? I extended an embrace to him of thoughts of love and empathy.
I'm okay- aside from staring at the biggest graveyard I've ever seen- which seems to just not be processing right now. We should probably speak up about the headache.
Right, I felt his thoughts in my voice "Hey uh- our crest is aching. We don't know why."
"Same with me-" another bot called out behind us.
People started to mutter as medics moved about.
"I will bet this is the random field effects of Hytherion's innards-" Anode turned hef head around. "Our shielding can handle most of it- but we need to find a safe spot to land and project the paracausal shielding in our direction if we're going to foot it."
I took a dampener from Velocity's hand as she came by and put it to my neck. "Thank you." The pain ebbed, slowly.
"Let us know if anything else comes up-" Velocity declared and turned to face the rest of the crew. "Expect the unknown."
"Tunnel gets narrow ahead," Chimera unplugged and stretched their arms. "We'll have to disembark. Is your projector powerful enough to-"
"We have a ten thousand spherical kilometer range," Anode mused. "Enough for us to scout before moving on with surgical precision. We'll land ahead."
Why do we feel alone again? I thought, and held my head as a barrage of intrusive thoughts came through.
Dissolve. Extinguish. Rest. No more. Join the engine of the multicosmos. THE HYTHERION THE HYTHERION THE HYTHERION-
"No, I won't. I have a purpose in the absurdity of life- one I chose-" I gritted my teeth, and felt my Matrix faintly encouraging us keep transforming- keep knowing and reifying.
"Er, dear," Backpack reached out to my shoulder. "Are you -agh! I don't want to remember Starscream right now!" She clung to me tightly.
"No- Caminus… my home, gone, again and again-" Aileron held onto Prof. "I don't want to die, to lose you-"
"I refuse to lose all the growth I've made, and you," Prof's cheeks quietly grew wet.
Grimlock transformed and roared. "Me Grimlock no like this! Give me fight!"
"I am not going back to bloody Megatron!" Anode yelled as she pulled us into a landing and took hold of Lug. "We won't…"
The crew was full of laments and cries, as an invasion of diamond shaped scales darted around the corners of my mind.
Daniel, we have to do something.
Splendid, Chimera, and Galebreach, sing or give a speech with their Matrixes.
"Splendid, Galebreach, Chimera- come over here and join your Matrix energies with me so we can give a touch of hope."
"Good idea, was just about to say the same thing-" Galebreach scrambled over, as did the other two. Their chests opened to show their spherical two handled Matrixes inside, two gold and blue, Splendid's yellow and red.
The three placed hands on me, and two beams of blue light and one yellow emanated from their Matrixes to my frame- and we felt a beautiful chorus of wisdom fourfold- along with each other's minds.
Galebreach, savvy and intrepid- Splendid, bulwarking and dedicated- Chimera, curious and sweet- Arcee/Daniel, sageful and vivacious- our minds were an overlapped one, as our Matrixes repeated-
You are the flame! You are the spark! All in harmony-
And we sang: "When there is doubt on the mind,
when existential dread comes knocking,
when banal cosmic horror passes by,
there is still nothing that can stand in the way of love!"
The glow of our Matrixes grew, touching each crew member and the whole of the ship.
"The myriad cosmos holds it too,
And there is capacity for it in every soul,
We are the universe,
We are causality,
When there is doubt on the mind,
when existential dread comes knocking,
when banal cosmic horror passes by,
We turn to ourselves and each other,
With all our contexts of hope!
There is still nothing that can stand in the way of love!
We turn to ourselves and each other,
With all our contexts of hope!
We do our best with the time we have,
And love remembers us all forever,
For being alive,
And for our passion and aspirations!"
All our euphoria ran through each other, every bit of contentment with our relationships, our knowledges, our lives, our shape and signifiers - the beauty of Splendid's heavy frame, Galebreach's first date with Strongarm, Arcana/Daniel's declaration of collective aesthetic hope to her galaxy, Chimera's joy resting in flowering fields of green-
When there is doubt on the mind,
when existential dread comes knocking,
when banal cosmic horror passes by,
We dare to live absurdly,
We dance an embrace of the moment!"
Our singing came to rest, and the connections, light, and beams faded away, but left inside me was a roil of our song in the background of our mind. The scales were pushed back - barely noticeable. And everyone else was quiet, before cheers broke out and the four of us were surrounded with hugs and accolades.
"Aw- thanks folks, we don't know how long it will last, but we'll make the best of it," Galebreach grinned.
"Exactly that," pipped a green haired human in a spacesuit. "Maybe best if we stick together for this journey. Can your Matrixes show the way maybe?"
"Yes," Splendid nodded. "I can feel the path. I'll lead the descent."
We stood apart. Anode and Lug moved up to flank Splendid at the front, and we made our down to the access tube, went down, and those of us who could transform changed to our alt-modes, some taking aboard crew who could not do the same- and we roared off ahead on wheel, turbine, and rocket down the winding tunnel and offshoot turns, at pace with Splendid's rumble of a cruising speed.
I hummed happily to be on our wheels again, rushing along backed by the stuff of dream. This is what we remember the good old days being like, before the big wars-
Best not to focus on those now- Daniel thought to me. We trust what we have now with care and consideration.
=Hey Zoomy, did I ever tell you how dashing and pretty you are?= Aileron commed to me.
=Aw dear- that's so sweet, your counterpart from our world has- it's nice to hear it from you, and you are glorious in your own iteration and soaring rockets= we replied, as I looked at her round and wide winged spaceplane form. =And with that outspoken and compassionate soul inside, so lovely…= my circuits pulsed with memory of her kiss- really want to do that again.
=Heehee, in love are we? Well we knew that already= she laughed among the gathered somewhat loud symphony of propulsion - and I joined her.
=There's something, someone ahead, let's slow down. I lost the Transformation Matrix's signal.= Splendid reported on open comms.
We slowed down, then parked and landed in front of two teal lanky wheeler bots and a purple winged one. All of their frames were in a constant state of armor plate movement, and one transformed every few seconds into a different mode: cat, scorpion, biplane, turret, on and on…
Beautiful- Daniel and I thought together.
="Who goes there?"= The three asked together.
"Greetings, denizens of Hytherion?" Nautica transformed from her hover submarine mode and put a hand over her chest. "My name's Nautica of Watercog, Caminus, she/they, another universe, and head diplomat here- we are a multiversal team on a quest to find the Transformation Matrix and access its histories for all our sakes."
"Hello Nautica and esteemed visitors, you do not know what you seek," the mode changing one purred. "I am Moonracer, she/her, of the Delta Polity, my companions are Lifeline and Filch. We will show you home to better aid you in your quest. Follow."
Nautica transformed back- and we followed the three- a galloping two legged convertible, a square headed feline, and a jet engined cyberraven- whose armor compressed and decompressed in different places to change to their alt-modes.
=I know some words have technical fluidity of frame among the population, like yours-= Velocity commed to me. =But it requires more fuel and metal consumption to maintain, no? To live in an ever changing state… either they have a lot of resources, or they have a different physiology.=
=Do you have a working speculation?= I asked. =They don't completely transform like we do- their armor sort of folds in and out. Almost as if-=
=They are higher dimensional entities like the Anode and Lug with us.= Velocity replied.
I looked up through my window sensors at Anode flying above me in her biplane form, carrying Lug above her beyond my sight in backpack form. We'll have to ask them all what it feels like later. Maybe we can get some answers about the Primus Biotects back home…
=Were you forged here in Hytherion?= Wheeljack asked on open comms.
=Yes.= Filch cawed as she wrote back. =We were made by the Transformation Matrix from Hytherion's mass. Our homes are more complicated -both the Matrix and us took part in making them. Tell us of your world, visitors- we catch some glimpses from our connection to what you seek.=
We began to tell them our stories, until the vein covered tunnel widened ahead, into a large cavernous area- which I looked into in awe at the downhill innard valley below. We all transformed to our bot modes, except Moonracer, who went back to transforming into different modes.
"Oh stars, how beautiful…" I looked onto the roughly fifty kilometers wide polity scape full of dull and vibrantly colored buildings of shapes that varied- that changed, between simple polyhedrons and elaborate halls and towers, low and tall, their interior and street lights warping around them. Occasionally I would spot designs that reminded me of home - flame decaled dome buildings of Camien iteration - sturdy pillared and hexagonal plate layered buildings of the Protohex style of my youth on Cybertron. Others were completely beyond my reference - coiled metal cable rhombuses, plasma jet roofed housing… all with bots about on the streets and ever-changing metal fields and forests, talking, dancing, racing, resting. There is so much here- a tiny refuge carved out of our destruction. Reclamation- that Hytherion had no say in. "Poor creature was just hungry… and we all just want to survive, to thrive, too."
"Exactly that," Lifeline looked at me with her orange optics. "The multiverse is brutal- but to make protective softness and cooperative harmony in it goes a long way."
"How do you access the Matrix, exactly?" Galebreach had a grin on her face looking at the scene below. "It must be really important to you."
"That's the thing," Moonracer slithered over to her before standing. "The Transformation Matrix isn't something you see- they are realized- they is actuated and lived. The energy is here, but none of us have ever seen it, and the ancients who cared for it didn't, except in each other. All of us of all places are all the Transformation- they are in our souls and lives. It is merely a question, of connecting to them where their energies rest."
"The Matrix is sapient?" Hound asked as mutters and gasps came from our group. "Wait- how does-"
"Knowledge is key to communicate with them, no?" Anode and Lug said together before they held hands.
Something lurched in me- a searing of myopic pain ran across my helm and inside my chest, and I staggered with a shout: "AAAH! Something-" the scales- "something is tearing at us!" I heard several other people yell out. Then the pain was gone.
"Another paracausal incursion-" Filch transformed her right arm into an ax and her left arm into a blaster, before she blasted on comms: =EVERYBODY, HYTHERION'S DIGGING AROUND IN SOME HEADS, OR SOMEBODY IS USING THEIR BODY TO DO SO! EMERGENCY PROCEDURES!=
The populace below moved with haste into groups, extending guns to cover each other.
Then I saw people I had hoped never to see again step out of nothing in front of us, fully armed with swords and cannons. Twice as tall as me blocky Sentinel Prime, all rusted instead of orange and red, along with the overwrought once gold and blue now depigmented gray bot Urhedron who wielded guarded thermal straight sabers in mockery of the same weapons of my career- with thousands of spaceplane and tank bots behind them bearing the winged gear insignia of the Functionists- or misused square faced insignia of the Autobots whose revolution against Functionism I was part of and you tried to destroy!
"YOU! YOU'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" Fury ran through our frame, and I charged with my swords drawn, all my millennia of careful assessment of battle and threat dismissed, thinking only of the battle ahead and the billions of lives the lot had taken or oppressed in attempted galactic conquest for empire, inspiring it, or infighting for that sake.
"ARCANA MAGNUS, WAIT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE UP AGAINST!" Moonracer cried out.
Gunfire and melee opened in exchange between our groups, and I clashed with Urhedron, blade and blade, before kneeing him in the waist, and lopping off his arms. "Had we ever met- I would have shown you how out of your league you are fighting me- and I revel in it now even as I pity you-" I ran my sword through where his spark was supposed to be in the middle of his chest.
He did not collapse dead- and instead fired scales from his wounded arms into my frame, cutting deep to my spine, as he laughed. "Your quest is an obsession- you are a lost fool dedicated to a misunderstanding of who we are made on a grand scale-"
"I will not have this!" I cut at the scales- tearing them apart with my blades with ease- and saw Urhedron was no longer there as I bled- instead a purple burly figure with a pointed Decepticon insignia and hexagonal single optic head stared me down with a cannon raised to my center mass. "Shockwave?" His wide chest was pink - not like the Autobot Shockwave I know- wait, Backpack fought this one.
=I CLAIM ALL SPARKS FOR THE CAUSE= the words he spoke came with a black ooze from his frame-
The Heart of Darkness of D-Void that Prof went up against? That doesn't make sense, I slashed apart his cannon, surprised he hadn't fired- and stabbed him through the head- only to be engulfed by the Darkness.
="VISITORS PLEASE! THEY ARE ECHOES OF ALL YOU FOUGHT, AND THEY WILL NOT CEASE WITHOUT DOING MORE THAN JUST FIGHTING! YOU HAVE TO REACH TO THE MATRIX"= I received Lifeline's message, but the time stamp was more than a dozen seconds ago.
OH NO.
I felt it engulf me- and saw only pitch black around me except a green glow around a purple and yellow lanky motorcycle bot who I definitely knew. "Sideways?! You're one of those Decepticons meddling with the Unicron corpses for your war on us- what are you doing here?"
"Just doing my part for the heat death of the universe, sweetspark- you should have taken up Unicron's Knighthood." they laughed- and I did my best not to fall into despair as my memories the utter devastation Unicrons had visited on our galaxy more than 200,000 orbits ago weighed down on me at once- and when one of them spoke to me one on one. The primordial familiar yet terrifying codelines- hinting at an answer we had yet to get about who we are, the gleeful chauvinist.
I attempted to move, but found my body growing gray and scaly instead, starting with my feet and hands. "I will not have this!" Matrix of Leadership- please- help Daniel and I-
Faint blue energy surrounded our frame- and slowed the scales. This is all we can- follow the advice- our Matrix whispered.
I transformed, and the scales fell away. Interesting. I rolled full speed towards Sideways- who changed into the many scaled and layered shape of Hytherion's maw- and I was pulled in despite a full reverse, and felt my body begin to get crushed in on myself- and cried out when I saw the rusted and half broken visages of my closest loved ones, Anode, Lug, Greenlight, Lancer, Aileron, and our mentees Gauge and Sideswipe- sitting together inside with arms extended to me.
=THERE IS ONLY BRUTALITY, WE ARE ALL HYTHERIONS= they repeated, over and over - as I saw visions of the fight around me on the hill- now full of Hytherion headed bots, inorganics, and organics with melee weapons and scale volleys around my companions, with only Moonracer, Filch, Lifeline, Prof, Galebreach-Blazeferno, Splendid, Backpack, and Grimlock holding out in a fierce back to back defensive melee from falling into unwelcome depths as I had- the three Delta inhabitants sang words I could not hear, and their sparks glowed brightly with the three Matrixes on the field.
"NO!" =NO! THERE IS FEROCITY WITH COMPASSION= I commed back with all the strength of the Matrix energy that sat in me. =I KNOW THIS IS JUST DREAD AND FEAR AND HOPELESSNESS NO MATTER HOW PHYSICAL- I screamed as sensory data of burning and freezing filled my body along with that of remembered stabs and gunshots. =THAT EVEN IF WE DANIEL AND ARCANA MAGNUS PERISH- WE ARE STILL LOVED BY META-ETHOS- BY THE FLAME, BY SPARK, THAT WE HAVE STILL DONE SOMETHING AND BEEN ALIVE. IN LIFE AND DEATH- WE CHOOSE TO TRANSFORM THE WORLD AROUND US AND OURSELVES!=
My vision sensors crashed, and memories and thoughts began dissipate- all full of garbage code- but we held onto the thought- WE CHOOSE TRANSFORMATION FOR ALL TIMES - TO MAKE ANEW FROM WHAT WAS LOST, TO IMAGINE AND ACT ON PRACTICED LOVE… and saw a six legged rotund and leafy entity made of Matrix orbs across shades appear before us and hold us close- all the pain and loss at an end- a sea of stars around us.
All transformations have a cost- the multiverse will strain in its regrowth- if you really want this- the entity seamlessly dropped thoughts in my mind. Travel will be more difficult between places- you will be alone a while longer in your awful war.
We just need to know- will the Delta Polity survive? We don't want to destroy them, their home, their history.
I am talking with them- they wish to take a jaunt to your world or Galebreach's, and after today- are done with their seclusion in Hytherion. They are interested in your history of compound noun aesthetics, dear beloved trans zoomdare child of ours, one of many daring and thrillbent souls of your names, and you also, beloved human of three different genders- though your species largely has a different vocabulary now than many of the words you use for yourself, you are never alone- we hope you might feel us when you need to.
You're the Transformation Matrix, aren't you? We thought you weren't someone that could be sensed outside of the remarkable ordinary. Our sparks were very warm- the first time we had ever felt Daniel's physically at all, emerged from paracausality. Oh dear- congratulations!
Thanks- it's really nice, to finally sense it outside of your own. She thought back to me.
We are that Matrix- but I am always in the mind's senses, per se- your mind iterated our appearance. Somewhat ironic- but we enjoy it.
To answer your question- if the Delta people want to- and our friends who traveled with us will be safe and able to return home- then yes, actuate this dream.
Til all are one, in myriad glory. Goodbye, and hello, dear Arcana and Daniel. We will send your friends home first- give you one last chance to talk before you have to return to using spark echoes to do so- and for you all to see the wonder that awaits.
One question- why did you wait for us? We're not big on destiny and heroics.
Make no mistake- this action was collective- so much from so many builds towards moments like these- you just happened to be in the right time and right place- to give us the song we needed to do this- the hope among liminality. Hytherion weighed us down, we felt lost, misunderstood, watching the cosmos in disarray on our journey inside the gullet of this creature, and at the time the Delta polity wanted to stay, and we would not abandon them. We love you all- and we know you and your friends will find the strategy and praxis to end your conflict.
The stars and the entity fell away, and so did Daniel and I's sparks from our body in a panorama of windows to nothing in each, hard to perceive, my optics turned away from the lack. Our floating sparks took on cyan forms of our shapes we loved, myself as before in my robust and back stacked wheeler frame, and Daniel flitted between his blocky and curvy cyborg appearance had now, or a flowy blue dress both with red half shaved hair- and to my surprise, sometimes just xemself in my own chosen shape.
We immediately embraced.
Oh darling- I knew you liked my shape and moving in it and have said "sometimes I feel like I'm giant and pink" but I didn't realize- how euphoric our binary bond is to you. I kissed xeir forehead.
Hehe, well- since you tune out my gender stuff in our heads there are some things you miss, but that's okay. I struggled to ever say it- because I realized it when I felt lost from my organic family- but I'm glad we're talking now.
Our companions appeared with us in this odd space with no gravity- and the Delta Polity below us, our minds touching each other- a sea of relief and peacefulness.
We're alive? We're alive- Chimera looked out at the voids. Curious sight- guess the show starts soon.
I guess so. I feel- so much- so much knowledge- Nautica swam around in her submarine form- there is more than I can ever know in my module now- and I love that.
Aww, someone asked for the histories- I blew her a kiss. That must be amazing.
You'll all feel it soon- she waved her turbine fins at me.
The voids exploded all at once across their distances with heat, matter, and light- stars began to light up into galaxies- and the windows magnified and split to show dozens of worlds each, rocky, aquatic, and metal and onwards- and visages of life evolved or forged upon them like our own across our many species here- seeing the first moments of social interaction with language - gestures exchanged, a wave of limbs, a stomp of feet, a flexing of spinal fins, a hugging crane arm. My optics fell on a large starfish shaped gray and red citadel that slunk across a metal world- Metroplex perhaps, like the one we know with that shape? upon whom bots congregated and danced, drawing and writing glyphs and speaking, holding each other, laboring on gifts, tools, art, sustenance, and looking up at stars. One glimpse caught my optics - scope bots holding hands with wheelers, treaders, and flyers in a circle along with fauna, flora, sea, building, and item bots from squarish to sleek to bulky to shape changing singing a song with Metroplex whose words I didn't fully understand- but some words enough to my NeoCybex to recognize the words-
"...We exist,
And we always will,
Making ourselves from worldly contexts and self-creation,
Whether made around how we first signify and shape,
Or in later realization…"
I've always wanted to see this- I felt the urge to cry but had no tears in this form- that first moment- when people made contexts like mine among themselves, free of hegemony. My mentors were at the aesthetic meeting from which the word zoomdare and many others like torqwhy and whooshhow emerged-
I was there- in my time and place- Galebreach extended warmth in thoughts to me. It was a wonderful thing- we knew so little then about ourselves- but we tried our best to know- to take in each day as it came- and we were happy besides mundane troubles and strafing with the existential- because we knew to care for one another and live our lives peacefully even with our quarrels. Blazeferno and I know your peoples will find that again. We love you- sibling.
Love you too- so much- my mind returned her warmth- among the warbles and joyful cries.
It's so beautiful- all of it- all these many ways of life- Prof touched my shoulder, and Daniel's while Aileron hugged me around the waist in Prof's own caress- whether they start to talk to each other across stars or simply live out with nature- what a beautiful thing, remarkable and ordinary.
Collectivities of autonomy - the one are many. Splendid chuckled. Such is the course of compassion with knowledge.
This so lovely, Moonracer thought curled up between Lifeline and Filch. We look forward to joining the galactic and multicosmos dance.
I- have no words. Anode was holding Lug close.
I don't either- except that I love you. Lug smooched her lips, and I spotted Nautica and Velocity reached out to hold hands-
Universal Stream Anchorax 022.22 Var-Upsilon 1/6/1,426,472 Allsparked Cycle (AC), Age of War. 2:43 Hours Ship Local Time, Autobot Alliance Anchor Agency solidarity-class carrier Respite, in orbit of Velocitron.
My body creaked with atrophy- optics rested shut. I tried to move and open them- and ached as I did so- and felt that my head's binary bond cavity was empty, my companion since she was fifty and I two hundred so many hundreds of millennia ago was beyond my sight.
"Daniel?!?" I called out while I looked and felt around me, I was on some sort of bunk, with an end table that a spark echo polyhedron rested on. An energon fuel pump was plugged into my chest, and my Matrix burned with exhaustion inside me, non-communicative, except for well done .
And in front of me, sat my Conjunx Endura Aileron, Greenlight, and Lancer, with my Amica Endura Anode, Lug, and Grimlock, my sibling Galvatron, and dear mentees Gauge and Sideswipe- who all looked up with a startled look from their chairs in the light green medbay.
"Mentor! You made it! Where were you?!" Blocky blue gray Gauge ran over to me with a smile of delight and hugged me, and I weakly hugged her back while squat and angular red black Sideswipe touched my shoulder with a hand, and everyone else rushed over. "Daniel's comatose right now, on the other bunk next to the spark echo,- since xeir spark traveled with you, his cyborg body could barely handle that."
"It's a long story- the Matrix sent me on a multiversal quest regarding transformation," I rubbed her back softly. "Will she wake?"
"Doctors say it's likely," tall and hardy Lancer sat her purple and orange frame next to my ankle, and let a hand rest on my lower thigh-
Circuits pulsed there, tired but welcoming, and I smiled at her.
"We just- don't know when. A month maybe." She gave me a gentle squeeze. "But they're doing our best."
"That's good to know, love." I looked over at Anode and Lug, who had small stripes and circles of yellow and cyan biolights instead of their Flaternity counterparts orange and pink swirls. "Dears, is the war-"
"Not a good situation, but certainly better than a century ago." Anode touched my helm. "Outside of Decepticon ranks, the Neo-Functionists have continued to be basically inactive- Unicronists and the Circle of Laser are biding their time. The Decepticons are making their last big offensive- we think some of their command knows they can't keep up with how we've structured our logistics and how we formulate and enact strategy- so they are pouring sheer numbers into the fight."
"Anode and I are due to deploy to Solace in four hours," Lug hugged a back stack of mine. "We're attached advisor errants to-"
"Chimera Prime and bloody Getaway's warrior group," I sputtered. "Ugh, I forgot High Command agreed with our analysis that there was an unusually high discrepancy in casualties. Gods- I had a two day reprieve from this madness-" am I done crying? This is a bit much. "And finally got to go do something away from this horrendous joke of our military-industrial complexes against each other eating at who we are while both claiming to save us- we have all this knowledge as a people yet they don't listen and we continue on in our defensive war-"
I shut my optics and curled up. "I hate this- I really do- I have so much blood on my hands now-" faces and body shapes of those I killed from across the thirteen years I had fought in wars, this one the longest, coursed in my mind- along with every bombardment I had ordered and fired myself on colossal entities and people I didn't get the chance to see.
"For once- for once I was part of something that was like the old days- why do we have to carry on knowing how to fix things but not be able to do that closure- stuck in this nightmare?"
Everyone rested a hand gently on me.
"Oh darling-" Greenlight's voice trembled just as her strong green hand on my cheek shivered. "I know it's hard- I know- we have to find happiness in each day, trusting and loving ourselves and people we care about with ongoing dialectical care, soothing all that, finding one happy thing- and making disruptive space to escape and build goodness, while we act ethically as needed to survive. I know you know that- you've spoken to it countless times."
"It just takes keeping in practice," Aileron kissed my waist. "And I know the constant trauma makes that practice awry sometimes- if you need a vacation-"
"I can't, not now, my loves," I swallowed. "I have a sense of needing to do, this is just a shock."
"Sibling," Galvatron's cut in dryly, and knelt to meet my optics with his. "You need to at least recover physically and mentally from whatever you went through. Mentors Gallium and Feldspar would expect me to say that, and it's the least I can do to honor their memory to keep yourself from getting killed. You're angry- you didn't just have a nice time away from our absurd state of affairs."
"There were moments that were hard- had to deal with aftershocks of people we've fought- and I saw Sideways- you know, the second in command of the Decepticon Special Technologies Fleets- he felt different- like he was aware of where I was. And- Daniel and I were brought on that quest in part by Transformation Matrix-"
"The what?" Grimlock asked.
"I'll tell you later- and something called the Quintessential Light."
Everyone grew still.
"Did I say something?"
"Well-" Aileron paused. "Elita and Perhelion- they met some Biotects- said they were of something called the Quintessa faction- and haven't been heard from for the last 48 hours. You were out for four days, by the way."
I sat up, jaw tight,- Anode and my Conjunxes hugged me close, while Lug looked into the distance.
"You okay, Lug starlight?" Aileron looked over at her.
"Something that Arcana said- all the people we've killed," she looked down. "You know Anode and I- we never imagined we'd be further from civilian stuff than the errant questing we did for a time, and then we thought it wouldn't be more than a short stint for survival against the Unicrons and liberation from Functionism, but now we're high ranking special forces and have been for millennia- I feel like there has to be another way. I'll think it over."
"I think you'll want to hear my story, Lug, it might help you piece something together about the common roots we have with some of our enemies, a reminder of what we know already." I looked at her, and felt an intense longing in my spark- for us all to have some time away - but also to do what we could, and I want to cuddle with her and not have to let go. "I'm sorry you have to leave so soon, you two."
"Arcee-" Gauge buried her head in my shoulder. "I worry when I see you like this- you used to be happier- but there's a fire in you now I was worried you were going to lose. I just- I just want some time to celebrate that you two and all of us are alive- before we worry about death again."
"Gauge…" I quaked. "I'm sorry- I'll make that time. We'll tell High Command I need a few days. If folks don't mind- before I say everything- I want to see the alterhuman robot in our family."
They all got out of the way. Aileron and Gauge helped me up- and I walked around the table to see the much smaller form of my binary bond partner- a green energon fuel pump on their waist armor, xeir eyes shut, and his breathing heavy.
I gently wrapped a hand around xem, whispered and commed ="Soon, dear, soon- we'll dance again with our new constructions,"= so he'd be able to read my words when she awoke.
I let her remembered sweetness wander in my mind- and I noticed something in there I didn't recognize- and touched it with a thought- who are you?
The reply I got was a mental image of a pile of books, bots resting, dancing, and talking, and thousands of bots laboring on two resting Titans' frames to help them combine and join in the shape they want with each other.
None of ours ever asked to do that- Ah- so the Matrix left me what Nautica has- or at least- a way to see into the transformations they store- maybe there will be something related to our current plight- including our origins with the Biotects- I'll have to poke through this later. I smiled. "You know- maybe- there really is hope that the magic we have can never be extinguished- it comes out of each of us- and grows with each other."
"That's the Arcee I know," Greenlight hugged her boxy frame around me and kissed the back of my neck, and chuckled as I warbled quietly from her touch. "Hold onto that."
