Soul's Shadow (Doctor Who - SI)

[TardisGhost]

A/N: So, here I am... writing my first self insert. Because why not and because I'm obsessed with the Master.
No idea how long this will get, or how frequently I'll update it. I also won't tell you which of those infos about me are true and which are not. ;P

Aaaaand, last, but not least. This is not (really?) a love story. Or rather not a romance story? Love takes on many forms and I don't think this will fit anywhere in the typical romance genre... If you are confused now, so am I. xDDDD (It's also horribly slow burn-y.)

I try to stay as non-explicit with everything as I can, because it's not the story's focus. But be aware that there are some quite dark-ish and morally ambigous topics involved.

Have fun! °v°/

_________________________________

Part I - A gun and a train-ride

​

Have you ever awoken in the middle of a murky night, your mind still caught within the last remnants of a fading dream, only to hear a sound so alien you were sure it mustn't belong to the waking world? Like the wheezing and whooshing of engines, yet unknown to mankind.

Did it haunt you?

Did it follow you around like the aftertaste of a bitter nightmare? Did it rip into your day and gnawed at the strands of sanity that hold yourself together?

Maybe you also once stood in front of an old blue police box, barely even noticing its existence, even though it's mere presence tore through your already tired mind.

Maybe you even heard the name Doctor already, outside of the profession, whispered, shouted; you read it in a story, found it, hidden in the graffiti on a subway wall.

I can assure you, here and now, that you are not crazy. And that he is very real indeed. He is and was and will be there, among us, with us, unseen, but always keeping us safe.

However, he is not the only one out there, let me tell you. Not the only lonely traveller on a journey without a course. There are other stories. Such of a man, so cruel in nature he had to be locked away, hidden from the universe so he could never do it harm again. It is told, his hearts are of ice and nothing could ever stop him from finding ways to hold the entirety of time and space within his blood soaked hands.

Those are all too real as well.

And there is one other story, about a traveller without a name, a shadow cast in the blackness of the void. A forgotten soul, the unwanted child of humankind, the...

Okay, okay, that's a little melodramatic. But come on... I am a writer after all! Let me have some fun, yeah? If I'm supposed to write this all down, I can do it properly. The Doctor said, keeping a journal might help my memories to stay where the belong – but a mere journal sounded really boring, so here we are.

Ready?

Oh, wait, you might want a few details about me, first. You know, all this stuff that helps a reader to picture the protagonist. Hm, where to start?

Maybe with the fact that people often think I'm still a teenager, because I seem to look quite young (it's so annoying to always have to show my ID whenever I want to buy some alcohol. Seriously). And there I was already 30 when this all started.

If you wonder how I might look... well... Probably as less my gender as I look my age. Guess some people think I'm a boy... or a lesbian. I don't know. My hair are trimmed to a short pixie cut and brown in colour, as are my eyes. My extremely bad eyes, I might add. They are always hidden behind a pair of nerdy glasses. (Hey, I like them, okay!) I also feel like a dwarf with my 1,57m height... but dwarves are cool, so that's okay. (No, I don't have a beard!)

That should suffice for now. You're probably more interested in the adventure-y stuff. Before everything properly started, I met the Doctor once, only briefly. And I literally bumped into him.

Tousled brown hair, chocolate brown eyes and a long brown coat. That was all I could make out, as he stared down at me, blinking perplex.

"What is it, Doctor?" a woman asked from behind. She had dark skin and long hair.

Behind her followed a tall guy in a military style coat. (Wish I had bumped into him instead.)

"Nothing, nothing," the man, who had been called Doctor answered, carefully grabbing my shoulders to guide me a step to the side. "Sorry for bumping into you. We're on a hurry."

"Uh... err... it's okay," I stammered. "Nothing happened. I mean... I bumped into you... but... uh. Sorry?"

"Hello there," the tall one greeted with a toothy smile that made me blush a little.

"Jack!" the Doctor called. "Not now!"

"I only said hello!"

"Hello," I sheepishly replied back, lowering my head a little, unsure what else to say. The roguish wink Jack gave me made me smile, though.

"Anyway, we have to get away as fast as possible, if you'll excuse us." The Doctor tapped his forehead and strode away, followed by his strange companions.

They all seemed in quite the rush, and I wondered if they might be late for an appointment, a party or whatever people occupied themselves in groups. I... I'm not much of a social person myself. Too awkward and weird... People usually don't like that, so they avoid me, mostly.

Later I saw them all on TV, found out they were being chased by the police and deemed extremely dangerous. (Well... wouldn't have minded to be abducted by that military coat guy.)

This was the first time we met. The second time was surrounded by a lot more ruckus, and years after the infamous election. I vaguely remember the telly showing the president getting shot by an alien creature, while newly elected Prime Minister Saxon made a face as if it was his birthday gift.

The time after that is... strange. They explained to me, later, what had happened and that everyone forgot about a whole year that actually never happened. What was even stranger, though, was that I was convinced they had put Saxon in jail for murder.

So, suddenly seeing him in person was probably the last thing I would have ever expected.

He didn't look exactly the same, though. Before, he had been clean shaven, now he had grown a thin goatee. And instead of a black suit, he now wore a blood red dress-shirt with a black waist coat and black dress pants and shoes.

But no doubt, it was him, marching down a road of my hometown, his look so dark it made me shiver.

"Keeping me as his pet, my ass," he grumbled to himself. "I'll show him. He'll regret it... And what are you staring at?"

I winced in surprise, my eyes widening as I realized he had addressed me, because I was staring at him like some idiot. My mouth opened and closed and all I could do was to mutter a barely audible 'sorry'.

"You want a real reason to feel sorry, kid?" he asked and a grin spread on his lips that could only be described as evil. "I could make you go home and murder your parents, how about that?"

I blinked perplex at him. Once, twice. "I... don't live with them anymore."

"Pah, I don't care." He rushed over to me, hands in his pockets, towering above me, although slightly bent down towards my face. His eyes had a fascinating warm hazel colour, but were so cold and angry at the same time. And old. "You'll make a good toy. I'll use you to get revenge on the Doctor."

"D... Doctor?" I remembered the short strange encounter from years ago. Somehow it seemed connected. "That guy in the long brown coat?" I asked, wondering if he meant the same man. "I ran into someone like that, long ago... right before you killed... uh... oops." I probably shouldn't have let slip that I knew who he was.

In the same moment my phone, that I had in my hands the whole time, vibrated shortly and I peeked down at it. Second mistake. Never take your eyes off a villain. Even if your favourite Pokémon is just spawning on your screen.

Saxon ripped the phone out of my hands and glared at it for a few seconds, then back at me, and I swallowed, but smiled shyly.

"Don't break it. Can't afford a new one."

"Breaking that thing will be your last problem." He chuckled darkly and let my device vanish into his pockets.

"Hey! I need it!"

"And what," he bent down to my eyelevel, his gaze boring into mine, "are you willing to do to get it back?"

Once more I swallowed, feeling my pulse race. That phone was the only thing connecting me to people in the real word, instead of only having internet friends from who knows where on the planet. Such a silly thing as a game, enabling my socially awkward self to be tolerated by other human beings.

"I... don't know. I'm not really good at anything, I'm not strong or fast or... whatever." I turned my head away, feeling unfittingly embarrassed in the face of this lunatic, muttering, "I'm probably as useless to you as to everyone else, sorry."

There was a long pause in which Saxon straightened a little, but not enough to lose his threatening aura. My eyes darted back to his face, and although I usually avoid eye contact like the pest, I couldn't help but seek his gaze once again. Something about those eyes fascinated me, as if there was something hidden within them, something that exceeded a human's capacity of understanding.

"Sorry..." he repeated my last word with disbelieve in his voice, but then grinned. "Want to do something mean so badly?"

"Wha'? N... no! No, I don't!" I protested, my voice dying down quickly, my eyes seeking the ground again.

"Look up." His voice was now low and commanding, so I automatically obeyed. "In exactly two hours you'll pick a person and you will kill them," Saxon demanded while pushing a small gun into my hands.

An indescribable tingling moved through my head, rested at my crown and almost gave me a headache. I pinched my eyes shut, trying to get rid of it, while his words still rang in my mind. This was insane! Why would I do that? Why was he so sure I would? Why did he behave as if nothing could happen to him, no matter what he did - or made people do.

The again... he had murdered the president and was, obviously, still a free man.

"Could you?" I asked quietly. "Just kill someone and get away with it?"

He laughed out loud, taking a step back, before he observed me further. "Doesn't work on you, eh? What a pity. But sure, I could."

My hands clutched the small gun to my chest, tears welled up in my eyes as I glanced back at him.

"Don't even try and shoot me," he snickered. "I'd be too fast. Before you can even-"

"No... I won't. But... but..." My hands started shaking at the mere fact that I even considered this. However, getting away with it, having no consequences to fear and two people I loved to safe, if only from their own weakness. "Any person?" I asked.

"Whomever you choose. But since my hypnotism doesn't work on you..."

"And you can assure no one will know I did it?" I interrupted, although I wondered what he was talking about.

Saxon stilled and glared at me for a small eternity. Slowly the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, until there was a wide, toothless smile plastered on his face. He was clearly enjoying this moment.

"Oh, there will be one person, whom I'll have to tell." He held a finger over my lips to silence my unspoken protest. "But he won't be interested in following you. It's just the game we play, I and the Doctor. This sanctimonious bastard."

"I... I don't want to spent the rest of my life in jail. There is just..."

"And I don't care for your boring reasons." He waved my words away, grabbed my collar and drew me in front of his face. "I will drench your hands in blood and watch the horror in his face with delight. Then I'll steal his TARDIS, and then he can stay with you apes on this dumpster of a planet and rot."

There it was again. Something flashing behind his eyes, ancient and raw and... sad. And there I was, never able to resist a mystery, not caring at all what it might do to me. And there I also had gotten this one opportunity I had thought about so many times already.

So I simply nodded and he finally let go of my clothes and strode away.

"Come."

 

[Mixter E]

Ah, kind of disappointed how it went in the end. Thought you were actually going to find a loophole and shoot yourself, or something because what's the point of immunity if you don't do anything with it?

 

[TardisGhost]

The point might be to use it not for yourself. ;D
Also, that would be quite the short story, wouldn't it?

 

[TardisGhost]

Part I - (II)​

He was already a few steps ahead before I got my body to react and follow him, the gun still in my hands. The metal had gotten warm from my own body temperature, but the weight and feeling was still so uncanny. I wondered if it was even loaded, and if so, why he would give it to me just like that. Right here and an now I would be able to simply shoot him in the back - and I was rather certain he wouldn't be able to avoid it this far away.

With a sigh I stuffed the weapon into my small shoulder bag. This was all just a weird dream anyway, right? Speaking of which... I pinched my nose shut with my fingers, trying to breathe through it anyway. When this didn't succeed I counted my fingers... twice. And finally pulled out a crumbled receipt from my pocket to read its content.

Alright... all reality checks indicated that I, indeed, was awake. No lucid dream for me, then. I frowned and sighed. Both, because it would have been cool, and because it meant I was awake and this was really happening.

"Where are we going, Mr. Saxon?" I asked eventually, when he walked down an alley I had rarely used before.

"Don't call me that. It's not my name."

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled and managed to get next to him. He wasn't that big, actually, compared to me he was, of course, but still not so much. And he looked rather cool in those clothes, sparkling the unfitting wish in me to sit down and draw him. I coughed slightly to get my head clear. "What is your name, then?"

The stranger turned around, halted in his steps and observed me for a few seconds.

"I am the Master," he announced with a proud smile.

"Of what?"

"Huh?"

"Master of what?" I wanted to know.

He raised a brow and shrugged, grinning boyishly. "Of everything."

I couldn't help it. My stupid brain just never stands still. "Well, not of Great Britain anymore,"

Instead of murdering me, the Master only let out a short laugh. It sounded honestly amused, though, making me smile a little myself. At least he seemed to have some humour.

"Oh, one day the universe itself will be mine, just you watch me," he said sweetly, like a boy telling his mom he wants to become a pilot.

Somehow the Master felt so childish and boyish, it was hard to believe he was the same man whom almost all of Britain had wanted as Prime Minister.

My thoughts briefly wandered back to that time, trying to puzzle together what exactly he had even told people. Something flashed behind my eyes, too quickly gone to really grasp. Images, impressions. Screams and smoke and round objects flying through the sky. I blinked perplex and shook my head.

"What's with you?" the Master bowed down a little, curiously observing my puzzled features.

"N... nothing. Just slept bad, 's all."

He shrugged and straightened again, wanting to continue the walk, however turning around once more. "And what do they call you?"

"Call...? Oh... I'm Lucy."

His face dropped instantly, morphing into an expression of annoyance and almost hate. "You have any other names?"

"Nooo..." I responded carefully. "What's wrong with it?"

The Master grunted and rolled his eyes. "My former wife's name. And that beasty thing tried to shoot me. Missed, of course. Never held a gun in her life before, but still..."

"Oh. Sorry."

"I'll just call you Lu, how about that?" He smiled again. "Alternatively we can settle on stupid earth ape."

"That's a bit long, innit?" I chuckled. "Lu's fine. But still, where're we going?"

"A shortcut into town."

"Oh.... I see. Say..." Again I felt my heart pounding wildly in my chest. Was I really about to do this? "The person I choose... do they have to live nearby?"

The Master tilted his head. "I have no TARDIS, right now. So, wherever they are, you have to get us there."

What the hell was a TARDIS?

I nodded. "Can you... mhm... get money? I mean, lots of it. Without anyone noticing it, of course. I... don't have much."

His eyes glinted happily. "No problem."

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

The landscape rushed past the window, trees and fields, villages and cities, all a blur of colour. It had gotten evening, the sky took on soft dark shades, and orange and white lamps faded into light. Sometimes the train halted, and the later it got, the less people entered or exited. Sometimes the stations were completely empty and through the window seeped the smell of foreignness.

"As a child I always imagined to go on a ride like this," I mumbled dreamily, "and simply get off the train at one of those empty, black stations. Not knowing where I am, or where to go."

The Master sat opposite to me, arms folded over his chest, eyes closed and his head resting against the window. He wasn't asleep, that I could tell. He didn't feel asleep, more relaxed, in a weird way.

"You like long train rides, too, huh?"

He smiled, his eyes creeping open. "It's so nicely quiet."

"Quiet..." I repeated absently, my gaze wandering back to the darkness-covered world outside. "Trains are so loud, though. I like how they sound. As if the wheels on the tracks are singing a song."

His gaze rested on me, I felt it intensely and looked at him, eventually. Although we had the lights dimmed in our compartment I could still see his eyes. And like before they fascinated me. Usually I can't look people in the eyes for long. It always feels so overwhelming, distracting, downright unpleasant. Because of that they often think I'm not listening... But I understand a lot more when I don't have to look. With the Master it was different, as if his gaze wasn't constantly searching for a way to call me out, to tell me how inhuman I behave and rub it into my face. He just didn't care.

"That's a hellishly long ride to get rid of a person," he remarked after we parted from another station.

My gaze kept glued to the window, but I still nodded. The sound of the train lulled me into a light slumber, brought me back to some hours ago, when the Master had entered a bank only to walk over to the banker and had told him to hand him a hundred thousand Euros. Astonished I had watched the scene, had glared at the Master with an opened mouth when he pushed the bag into my hands.

I had to transfer most of it to my bank account, not wanting to carry it all around with me, and the rest of the way my thoughts turned summersaults. I could finally pay back all of my student debts! I could afford a brand new gaming PC, a bike or... a bed.

Thinking about my almost empty apartment I concluded it would be wise to start with the basics. I hadn't been able to afford furniture, so far, my belongings only consisting of a mattress on the floor, a shaky table and chair for my laptop and three cupboards that could - with lots of good will - be called a kitchen. Heck! I didn't even own a fridge!

Now, all of a sudden, none of it was a problem anymore. I was free, I had enough to live for at least a few years, in case my bad luck with finding jobs would continue.

And all that for the price of a human life.

"Who is it?" the Master asked, as if he had read my thoughts.

The question tore me out of the thoughts, bringing me back to the present moment, and also to a past long gone, to the time of my childhood - if you can call it that - to years of fear and being caged in. None of it was his busyness.

"You didn't want to know."

"Now I do," he countered calmly.

"Because it's quiet?"

An almost pained smile appeared on his face. I had hit a point, although I had no clue what it was about. Only another puzzle piece for my pattern oriented mind, another snipped about the strange man in front of me, that once had been known by every person in the country, but was now unrecognized, as it seemed.

"What happened when you became Prime Minister?" I couldn't help but ask, ignoring his own question. "I remember the spheres killing the president, but then..." Again, images whizzed through my head, probably created by my brain to fill the gaps. A brain can do that... create false memories, because remembering something at all is better than having a hole in your head.

"I took over the earth," the Master told with a grin. "First I decimated the human race, then had some fun with you all." He snickered. "Wiped out Japan, built a police state, let my Toclafane decimate a few more of you, here and there. You know... just for fun. Humans reproduce so fast, it almost doesn't matter."

I only blinked at him, confused.

"No, you didn't."

"Well, you wouldn't remember. It all was based on a paradox, so it never happened."

Again I blinked. There was something in my mind, pieces that got put together, a pattern, evolving from the net of information and thoughts in my head. Then it clicked.

"You're alien, too, aren't you?"

It made sense. Looking back at the attacks on earth, so far, his strange behaviour, the weird terms he always used, the way he felt so different... I glanced back into his eyes, knowing it to be true, no matter if he would deny it now or not. No human could have such eyes.

"What if?"

"Hm..." I made, noncommittally, shrugged and drew my legs up on the seat to wrap my arms around them. "A paradox..." I thought out loud, leaning my head against the window. If he was alien then it was possible he had the technology to make something like that possible. "You really did all those things, then?"

A childish smile let his eyes crinkle with joy. "Scared now?" he teased and gave me a mock-pout. "It's not the worst thing I've ever done, if that consoles you."

It didn't. But that he wasn't a good person had been obvious right from the start. I probably should have been scared, should have risked jumping from the train only the get away from this man. Strangely enough my heart was calm, my mind only tired because it was so late already.

No, I wasn't scared... yet. Had he been human I would have assumed he was a psychopath, but somehow that didn't quite fit him. There was more to the Master, a calmness behind the chaos in his eyes, a softness, buried beneath the ocean of blood and cries he seemed to have left behind. An image flashed through my head, of him kneeling in the rain, crying out an unspeakable pain, without anyone every listening.

I blinked it away. It happens sometimes, my brain just creating scenes and images from what I pick up from other people. No idea if I'm really that empathic... Or if it's more like with blind people... I can't read body language and facial expressions so well, but instead I somehow can sense people's moods and feelings, without even looking at them. I think everyone can do that, but most people don't have to.

"How is it?" I mumbled. "To take a life."

The Master smiled and leaned forward, hands folded in his lap. "Exciting. You finally understand how much power you have, what you're capable of, and that no one can stand in your way any longer." He chuckled a little. "You'll see for yourself."

I swallowed and glanced away. Rain started to trickle down the window and I closed it, listening to the added sound of drops against glass. So soothing, distracting me from what was ahead.

"You're an odd one," the Master remarked quietly. "About to commit murder, but you don't even look bothered about it. And there you humans are so annoyingly moral."

"I don't understand moral," I softly admitted and shrugged. "There usually is no logic behind it. It's just things you don't do, because you... don't do it. But no one ever tells you, why."

The Master laughed quietly to himself and leaned back again, signalling the conversation to be over. I didn't mind, feeling tired anyway. Good thing those seats were long. I slipped out of my shoes, lifted my legs up, while taking my glasses off and placing them on top of the trash bin.

"Wake me, when we're there," I mumbled and curled myself up on the seat.

 

[TardisGhost]

Part I - (III)​

Of course I couldn't sleep. What did I even await? Would have been the first time in my life I'd manage to sleep in a train. My family and I used to visit my Grandfather in the summers, who lived in a different country. We always took the overnight train. And never could I sleep.

A hand over my mouth shot me out of the light pseudo-slumber I had, however, managed to slip into. Confusion and sleepiness clouded my thoughts, the events of the evening seeping only slowly back into my mind.

"Shhh," the Master made. He now sat on my side of the compartment, hand over my mouth, eyes glued to the door. "Don't make any noise."

I groggily nodded and sat up as soon as he retreated his hand. It was still dark outside and there was no indication of danger, no sounds that didn't belong, not even a foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. My hand searched for my glasses and slid them up may nose. Curiously I then leaned past him, watching the small window in the top half of the door.

For quite a while nothing at all happened, but eventually the Master lost his tense state and relaxed visibly.

"Must be really bad if it scares you," I mumbled, still leaned forward to watch the door.

He turned his head in my direction, amusement in his hazel eyes. "I'm not scared. I just don't want him to have you, yet."

"Him..." I peeked up. "This Doctor?"

"Yeah, I think, he's gone, though."

I let out a yawn and leaned back into the seat, sinking a little together and resisting the urge to snuggle up on the man next to me. I'm a horribly cuddly person and almost no one is ever save from that. But for once I refrained from my comfort-seeking, for the sake of my very life.

"Who is the Doctor?" I asked, glancing back up at the Master.

He huffed, but smiled. "An idiot who thinks he can make the universe a better place. Runs around and saves apes like you, so they fall for him and then he keeps them as pets until they break. And then he calls me the bad one and ruins all my nicely conducted plans."

"We're not apes anymore," I weakly protested with a pout.

"Right... apes are smarter."

"Careful, you handed this brainless ape a gun," I dryly countered with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah..." His eyes crinkled with joy. "And you're not using it."

"Touché." I chuckled and stared out of the window, my thoughts circling around the few snippets of information I had gathered. The whole time I could feel the Master's eyes on me, but, strangely enough, it didn't feel threatening; more like careful curiosity. Eventually I peeked back shyly. "Is he like you? The Doctor, I mean."

The Master scrunched up his nose, disgust clearly showing in his gaze.

"I mean... is he alien, too?" I added. "And how could he appear on this train? And... vanish again."

"We're the same species, yes. But we're complete opposites."

There was an unbelievable amount of contempt in his voice, as if the mere thought of the other man would make him throw up at every moment. it appeared they shared quite some history, I silently concluded.

"So, he is the good guy, then?" I pondered. "Because you're clearly the villain in this story."

One of his brows shot up, his lips pursing slightly, but then stretching to an almost charming smile. He leaned towards me a little. "So, you think I'm a bad person?"

"Obviously," I deadpanned and counted fingers up. "You killed the President, you said you basically tortured the whole planet for a year, and you said it wasn't even the worst thing you ever did. Well... and then there's the whole thing about you using me to make another person feel bad..." My hand lowered and I grinned up at him. "That basically screams 'villain' in huge flashing letters to me."

Somehow the proud smirk on his features didn't surprise me. He looked so boyish in that very moment that I couldn't help, but continue grinning even wider.

Only for a moment, though, before his hands shot forward and were around my throat, squeezing hard enough to strangle all air out of me. Perplex and surprised and more out of reflex than anything else I lunged out and tried to get him away, panic arising within myself. I barely noticed the look of anger and the hint of madness that clouded his eyes all of a sudden, as he pushed me down into the seat, almost kneeling over me.

"What's there to grin about?" he growled in a cold tone as he leaned his head down to me. "You think I'm making fun? You think I'm just telling stories?"

I tried to kick him, my hands ripping at his, my lungs burning from the lack of air. My head got lighter, black dots starting to dance in front of my eyes.

And suddenly I could breathe again.

Greedily I sucked in all air I could get, coughing and panting, unable to speak a word for what felt like minutes, my body trembling uncontrollably. Finally I stared upwards, saw the Master still kneeling over me, his hands still on my throat, but not squeezing anymore. His eyes were dark and cold, telling more than words ever could, how less he cared about me being alive or not.

"Are you afraid, now?" his low voice asked.

Another breath, and two more. I closed my eyes, feeling the fast rhythm of my heart, listening deep inside me to find an answer to his question.

"You won't let me survive this, right?" I muttered instead.

There it was again, the smile, so cruel and cold. Fuck. It really was inappropriate to find your future murderer so fascinating. It almost made me laugh again, but I managed to hold back.

Finally he let go of me and slipped back onto the seat next to me, letting me get up.

"No, I won't," he answered late with the same cruel smile.

Carefully I sat up, rubbing my sore throat. That hadn't been the first time I had been close to death... but it always was a daunting experience. I let out a shaky sigh, trying to get a hold of my emotional state. It would catch up with me sooner or later, but right now everything inside of me was simply all over the place.

At least my breath and heart rate decided to normalize again, the lack of adrenalin allowing the outside world back into my head, the noises of the train, of raindrops pattering against the window, the atmosphere of our compartment.

I glanced up, one hand curled above my heart as if it would help anything. This was real. Not some weird dream, not something I had made up in a reverie. It was happening, right here and now.

The Master stared back at me, lips twitching upwards at my shook sight.

"Scared?"

I slowly nodded. "Yes."

He hummed content, smirking satisfied. And as if I suddenly had gotten boring he then focused on the window and the rain outside. For a few more seconds I looked at him, wondering what could make a person act like this, be the way he was, and still radiate this oddly warmth.

But I would never get an answer to those questions, right? All the money in my bank account, whether the police would every find out anything... It all wouldn't matter in a short time. And there was nothing I could do about it.

"Do you... remember the people you kill?" I quietly asked.

He shrugged. "Depends."

"Will you remember me?"

No answer.

I breathed out another deep sigh, closed my eyes and leaned back in the seat, nestling myself to the Master's side. It almost seemed as if he didn't notice, but eventually I felt him shift a little, looking down at me and eventually back at the window.

"I might," he uttered into his beard, too quiet to make out his tone of voice.

There I was, rejected by my own kind, about to die from the hands of an alien. A small smile crept over my face. No one would ever notice that I'm gone, but at least I wouldn't go unremembered. The thought was weirdly soothing, as was the fact that the Master didn't move away. And like that, without me even noticing, I drifted into a deep, dreamless slumber.

 

[TardisGhost]

Part I - (IV)
​

A nudge into my side woke me up.

"We're there in half a n hour," the Master announced.

Groggily I blinked up at him, my eyes still heavy. Had I slept this deeply? My head felt like it was filled with a thick fog and I yawned widely.

Sleeping in a train... that was a first-timer.

Well... sleeping leaned against a lunatic mass murder who was about to end my own life, was also a first.

Did I imagine it or did the Master look peeved?

"What's with you?" I slurred. "Did I do somethin'?"

"You slept," he grumbled, eyes narrowed to annoyed slits.

I blinked again a few times, trying to get my brain to decipher the meaning behind why he mentioned this. Was he mad because I used him as a pillow? Then why hadn't he just moved away? Again I yawned and stretched a little.

"Not nearly long enough," I mumbled.

The Master gave off a low growl of sorts.

"What? Haven't done a thing," I protested meekly.

His eyes narrowed even further, lips pursing slightly. "How can you sleep with me? You should be way too frightened to close an eye."

Alright, my brain decidedly was still too tired to process this. I only shook my head and rubbed my eyes. "Dunno. 'M not sleeping too well, lately. Just tired as hell, 's all." I shrugged and slipped from the seat, one hand already on the door when I got grabbed at my jacket and pulled back.

"And where do you think you're going?" the Master snarled.

"Eh... toilet," I drawled. "Bet there is one nearby. Always is. And splash some water in my face. Gosh, I need coffee..."

He let go of me and poked my head. "You're even awake?"

"Noooo, sleepwalking. Don't you see?" I yawned again. "'S not as if I could run away or somethin'. We're on a friggin train. And I sure as hell don't wanna jump from it. So... if you excuse me." My hands gestured towards the door. "Or wanna come along and guard the toilet? Won't let you watch, that's for sure."

This time he let me and I slipped out into the empty corridor that was only illuminated by dimmed night lights. On my way I stopped at a window and glared outside, a small smile creeping over my face when I recognized a church tower in the distance, raising into the air against the dark sky. I always loved old architecture, even though I don't have a clue about it.

For the second time this night a hand lay itself over my mouth, a strong arm pulling me back and pressing me tightly against a thin body.

"Don't scream," a man's voice warned softly. "I won't hurt you. But the Master mustn't hear us."

I simply nodded and the hand vanished. At least I was somewhat awake now, turning around to face the same man I had bumped into not so long ago. He still wore his brown coat, a pinstripe suit and red converse. Weird style choice, but who am I to judge.

"You're the Doctor, aren't you?" I concluded uselessly. I mean, who else would he be?

A beaming smile split his lips, he nodded enthusiastically, then thumped behind him to signal me to follow him. My mind told me it would be the wiser choice, my gut told me he was someone I could trust - to a certain extend - and who wouldn't harm me. Still, my head turned back to the door I had just left and a small part of me was almost about to simply walk back.

Bad idea. Really, really bad idea. It would be useless to go undetected by any authorities if I wouldn't survive it anyway. Somehow it would still be worth it, for the sake of my Dad and my little sister. But no... I'm not that much of a good person to sacrifice myself like that.

Silently I followed the Doctor, watching his coat swaying with his steps, listening to the music of the train. Shortly after, we reached the end of the hallway and he opened a blue, wooden door. I glanced up and noticed a sign saying: Police Box.

"Huh?" I made perplex, but didn't dare to speak a word just yet.

The Doctor rushed inside and I simply followed, not knowing what else to do, but still wondering why they would put a thing like that in a train. Was it a decoration for some sort of party? The doors definitely lead to another part of the train, so... wait, no.

That certainly wasn't the train anymore. It was way too spacious and looked completely and utterly so much not train-like at all.

Slowly I took a single step into the large round room, my eyes skimming over the coral shaped pillars, the weird round patterns on the bent walls, the downright alien looking table in the middle and the glass tube with the weird up and down sliding things inside. A warm blue-greenish light emanated from it, fell down to countless wires and levers and buttons and all sorts of things my mind couldn't even wrap around.

Alien, it shot through my head. Those two really are aliens.

"Could you close the doors?"

I looked at the Doctor, who beamed at my reaction, hands in his suit pockets, bouncing up and down on his heels. While I did what he said, he shrugged off the coat and threw it over what looked like an old jump seat. It was too far away from the console to be really useful in that place, though, probably only existing for when he needed to rest a little. Then again... my eyes found another door that probably lead deeper into the...

"It's a spaceship, isn't it?" I concluded. The Doctor beamed even wider, nodding enthusiastically, although it seemed he awaited something more. "And... you attached it to the end of the train?" I pondered. "We walked through a door and now we are here... so..."

"Wait a moment."

He shot towards the controls and started to push several buttons, then pumped a weird mechanism, flung some levers and I have no idea what else, but suddenly the whole ship shook so violently I stumbled backwards and almost landed on my bum.

Some weird mechanical noise filled my ears, one so strange it almost gave me a spontaneous headache, but was also weirdly soothing. It stopped too fast, though, to get used to it, and when I glanced back at the Doctor, his grin was even wider than before. He waved towards the doors.

"Come on, take a look."

"Are we flying now?" I wanted to know. "Felt like a pretty rough start... don't people see us?"

Somehow I wasn't so eager to open a door and stare into some unimaginable depths below me. I'm not too much afraid of heights, but I don't love them either. And who knew if that man wouldn't just push me out? All I knew about him, so far, were the things the Master had told me. And how much of his statements were believable at all was hard to guess. The Doctor could be an accomplice, he might be a worse person altogether.

Heck, he isn't even human!

I stayed put, frozen in place without knowing what actually to do. The Doctor tilted his head to the side, observing me as if I were some peculiar specimen he had never seen before.

"Normally people are so excited to rush out and see something new."

"Yeah, and then die horribly..."

"You're a cheery one," he remarked amusedly.

"Just careful." I shrugged and took a step away from the doors. "I can't even predict human behaviour... who knows what you're planning with me."

The Doctor's face dropped and I almost felt a little sorry about my cautiousness. But then again had I been an easy target, in the past, for being too sympathetic. A thing other people loved to abuse and manipulate. And there was no way of telling how an alien would react.

"Ahhh, come on," he tried again, waving towards the doors. "Nothing out there that will eat you, promise." For a second his face turned thoughtful. "Probably. Can never be sure. But anyway..."

He tried to grab my hand, but I jolted backwards.

"What's that?" he mumbled more to himself. "Not afraid of the Master, but of me."

Somehow, in this very moment, I indeed felt a lot more scared than I had with the Master. With him I at least knew what I had to await. The Doctor was completely unpredictable to me. It's almost always like that when you can't read people, but having a non-human in front of you...

Suddenly the Doctor produced something from his pocket that almost looked like some sort of wand for a moment. A metallic one with a blue light, but still... the way he held it and started to wave it over me...

"Not hypnotized, good. Maybe... No... definitely human," he mumbled. "Some weird patterns in your brain, though."

"Dammit," I mumbled. "Don't look at me like that. I'm just autistic, not some eldritch abomination."

At that his eyes lit up and he came a few steps towards me, making me tense up again. But he only started to babble on, "Are you? Einstein too, did you know? They didn't know much about autism back then, though. Met him a few times, great man, although he keeps on trying to steal stuff from my TARDIS. I always tell him it would be unwise. Altering history never ends well..." He hurled towards the doors, clapping his hands. "Anyway, out with you! I'll go first, how about that?"

With that he strode to the entrance, pushing the doors open and... stepping outside. My mouth gaped open and my heart fell for a second, before my body sprang into action and let me run the few steps to the exit.

Instead of clouds, though, I glanced at a completely ordinary field of grass. There were trees in the distance and a few houses over a hill nearby. The Doctor stood there, bouncing up and down on his heels a little, a happy smile on his face.

"Whoa... that ship of yours is fast," I admired, unable to comprehend how we had gotten to this place in only a few seconds. Cautiously I sat a foot outside, feeling the ground below to convince myself it wasn't a hallucination. Then I turned around to take a first proper glance at the Doctor's ship and... "Uh... what?"

My eyes couldn't comprehend what they were seeing, leaving me with an opened mouth, gaping at the weird image in front of me. There on the grass stood the same small blue police box I had seen in the train and had thought of as only a decorative door. But it actually was the whole box, and there was absolutely nothing around it but grass and space.

I blinked, glanced at the Doctor to let the question appear if he could split his whole head with that grin, then I took a step, and another, slowly walking around the box to see if the rest of the ship might just be invisible to my eyes.

Nope.

My hands only reached into nothingness. Behind the box I peeked around the corner. The Doctor was still standing there, bobbing up and down on his heels.

"What do you think?" he finally asked happily.

"Well..." I came back to the front and opened the door, finding the same large room inside. "Considering everything I know about quantum physics, holographic universe theories and stuff... I'd say those doors lead into another dimension... of sorts." Thoughtfully I rubbed my chin, my brain running a thousand miles per hour, putting together every single useful and not so useful fact my nerdy mind could remember. "So... the outside moves, but the inside probably stays at a fixed position?"

"Weeeell... almost." Suddenly the look on the Doctor's face wasn't quite so happy anymore, as if he had awaited a different answer. He waved towards the box. "But what do you see?"

"Err... a police box. Okay, that's not what you wanna know, right? Oof, what else is there, beside it being bigger on the inside..." I stopped as the Doctor's face lit up once again.

"I always love when people say that," he announced. "Can't wrap their heads around it."

"No wonder. It's not a thing you normally see. And as much as I would love to know how it works, I probably wouldn't understand it, right?"

"Oh, not even we Time Lords know that. Not entirely, completely, in every small little detail, that is. A TARDIS is such a fascinating machine, we'll probably never stop learning about them. Took me years to even get her to land where and when I wanted."

There it was again. That word. "Tar...dis..." I repeated.

"T.A.R.D.I.S." he spoke every letter. "Time And Relative Dimension In Space."

"Is that the name of your ship? And why in English? Don't tell me your people live here." Which wouldn't be that surprising, honestly. I watched way too many conspiracy theories about aliens.

"Oh, no, no, they don't. And it's not her actual name," he admitted and his smile faltered almost unnoticeably, but then flashed back to its full brightness. "My granddaughter came up with the acronym."

Okay, not secretly living on earth, then. But...

"Wait... Granddaughter? You look way too young to have one..." I tilted my head, my brain coming up with at least twenty possible explanations at once.

"We age a lot slower," the Doctor told, nodding his head. "Among other things."

"And among all your weird and fascinating alien things here..." I sighed, stepping from one foot to the other. "Say, you don't happen to have a loo in that ship of yours?"

 

[TardisGhost]

Part I - (V)​

I let out a frustrated sigh after the tenth turn or so. The Doctor's directions weren't that helpful. Especially with my short-term memory and a sense of direction that were both quasi non-existent.

And it also didn't help that this bloody ship was ridiculously huge.

It was fascinating that all of this actually fitted into this tiny blue box. But it was also annoying when you needed a toilet... seriously.

A light hum in the air made me look up and around, but nothing was there that could be the origin. Maybe just the engines?

But then it was back, closer to my ear and it sounded... questioningly? I tilted my head in confusion, trying to find out what this could mean. My hand reached out to poke the air in front of me. Just in case there was something invisible.

Nothing.

"Hello?" I tried and the hum returned, a little louder. "Eh, okay, I'm talking to air." This time the hum sounded... amused. I startled and glanced around once again, but with the same result. "Someone there? Are you some board computer, maybe?" And quieter I added, "If so, can you lead the way? I'm a little lost in here."

Immediately a thin line of golden light appeared before my feet, leading me around a corner, where I saw a bunch of doors... changing. Where one had been an alien looking metal before, it was now an ordinary wood door. Carefully I opened it and peeked in, sighing relived when I found an ordinary bathroom inside.

"Thank you!" I said to the air and vanished inside to finally release my bladder and splash some water in my face. Back outside I listened for the weird hum. "Can... you lead me back to the Doctor? That would be nice of you."

The golden light appeared again and I couldn't help but smile widely at it. This definitely was some cool tech! Way better than Google Maps!

Back in the control room I found the Doctor tinkering with a weird looking monitor. He wore a pair of glasses and made a face as if nothing in the world would be able to distract him from whatever he was doing. But as soon as I entered the room he spun around and gave me a warm smile.

"Good, you're back!"

"Yeah, your board computer was quite helpful."

He raised both eyebrows. "I don't have one."

"Great..." I sighed, strolled over and let me fall into the jump seat. "I'm on an alien space ship and I talked to a ghost. That's not weird. Not at all.... nope." I chuckled, finding the whole situation way funnier than I probably should.

"Might have been the TARDIS helping," the Doctor concluded. "She does that sometimes."

"She..." I repeated quietly. "But not a board computer, huh? So, the ship is alive?"

"Weeeell..." The Doctor clicked his tongue, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Probably not in a way a tiny human brain could comprehend." He ignored my eye-roll. "But yes. In a way she is."

"Right... why not." Tiredly I rubbed my eyelids, wishing for a cup of coffee in my hands.

"You must have tons of questions," the Doctor tossed in, tilting his head from one side to the other, observing me as if I were some curious animal. Maybe I was... being a different species than him and all... "First, though, let me tell you I'm sorry for what happened to you. This isn't something a human should have been dragged into."

"So you're not going to conquer earth and use our population as batteries?" I couldn't help but ask with a highly sarcastic undertone. Then something dawned on me and I straightened in the seat. "Your ship is super fast, Doctor. Can we land somewhere where there's coffee, maybe?"

"I'd prefer a cuppa tea, but sure, yes. Where do you wanna take it? Heard Felogeratia developed the perfect brew in 20 alpha 1200. Maybe a bit strong to the untrained stomach... How about Sherell? The isle of Glomburian is infamous for having the most expensive coffee in the Hanserlin galaxy."

"Eh... what? Never heard of those places. Galaxy?" I blinked my tired eyes a few times, before it clicked. "Oh... yeah... makes sense. You can travel away from earth, can' you? I mean... of course you can..."

"Yup!" he popped the 'p', grinning widely at my confused expression. "Everywhere you want."

I opened my mouth to respond, but there were no words coming out and I closed it again. I just came from a nightlong train ride to get to the other end of my own country. And now this man was telling me his ship could take us literally everywhere in the universe.

"Dang, that's lots of places," I mumbled. "There isn't a Starbucks on some... just cool looking, weird place with... I don't know... floating, glowing jellyfish birds, a purple sky and yellow oceans?"

"Oh, how do you know about Cinpecka?! Lovely north pole around the summer times."

I snorted out a short laugh. "No. Just made that up. Don't tell me there really is a place like that? With a Starbucks?"

"Weeell... You wouldn't like their equivalent of it... probably. But if you want weird and colourful - and coffee," he clapped his hands together, sprang to his console and started to push buttons and flip switches, "then I know the place for you!"

"Wait. I'm not up for another long journey. Just let us..."

The whole ship shook violently and it took all my physical strength not to crumble to the floor. Maybe it was a good thing that my stomach was so empty. Only a few seconds passed, though, and we landed safely with the same weird noise I had heard before.

Smirking widely, the Doctor took a small step back and waved his hand towards the door, inclining his head slightly. "Have fun. Take it as a redemption for your troubles."

"We can't have... travelled to another planet." My eyes darted towards the door, then back to the outstretched hand. I slightly shook my head. "Not with any tech can it be possible to travel that fast! It just... isn't?"

The smile never faded, the hand never lowered. And finally I sprang up from the seat, rushing towards the doors to pull them open.

"You're heckin' kiddin' me, man," I breathed out. "Th... that's a holodeck, right? Just a simulation. It... it can't be real! We can't have..."

The sky above my head wore a pleasantly dark turquoise, uncounted stars blinked in its velvet softness, and even though I wasn't too familiar with star constellations I couldn't find a single one of the few I remembered. Around us was an actual city, winding itself over a purple ocean. There were thousands of bridges, fragile looking and with delicate ornaments. The bridges were streets and fundament at once, holding the hundreds of round shaped houses in place. It was hard o make out if they were of stone or of some weird metal I had never seen before.

In the whole city was not a single street lamp to be found. Instead a faint glow emanated from the sea below, ever changing its colour from all shades of green and blue imaginable. Other than that there was only the orange glow from all the windows, and when I moved a few steps ahead I could also make out weird animals. Like birds, but translucent, without feathers and more swimming through the air than actually flying.

They seemed to be rather tame, one of the creatures floating right past my head, so I could take a good glance at it and find out they probably weren't flying on their own, but with the help of the swirl of luminescent particles flying around them.

A melodic whistle from behind me drew the attention of a small swarm of particles towards the Doctor. He held out his hand, palm facing upwards, and the tiny creatures came together as a collective swirl of light in his palm.

"Semi sentient light particles," he explained, eyes glinting fascinated. "They aren't really alive, you know? But nonetheless they are part of the eco system." With his other hand he fished for something in his pockets and finally got a out a tiny glass bottle, not longer than maybe half a matchstick. With another melodic whistle he guided some of the lights inside and corked the bottle, before he handed it to me. "Here, a souvenir. Take it, no one will miss them, and they can't die."

Perplex I took the tiny bottle, glaring at the particles inside. I lifted my glasses to take a closer look at them - being so short sighted has the advantage of seeing near things a lot better than other people. No need for a magnifier. Fascinated I saw that the particles looked like tiny butterflies, although they seemed to have no substance, seeing they never collided with the others. How they could be kept inside a bottle, then, was a mystery.

"Th... thanks," I breathed out fascinated and carefully placed the bottle in my chest pocket.

"Take care of it. And now... over there." He pointed at a large house, from which noises could be heard. "They sure know how to make great coffee. You'll love it."

I was just about to follow him, when I startled and stopped dead in my tracks.

"What's wrong?"

"Th... there... there are aliens inside," I concluded, only now getting fully aware of the fact that I wasn't on earth anymore. How did I even breath? Was the atmosphere similar to ours? What about the gravity, the air pressure, the composition of the air? Would I even be able to survive in this place for long, or would my body react in who knows what ways?

"Oi! You met us already!" the Doctor protested.

"Y... yeah... but you look human."

"You look Time Lord! We came first."

"Time Lord..."

The Doctor grinned. "That's what my species is called."

"Your kind sure has a thing with naming stuff... and people." I took a deep sigh, deciding not to think about all the possible ways my body could simply disintegrate or whatever on a foreign planet. "Alright... whatever. I really do need some coffee." I waved towards the building. "Lead the way."

 

[TardisGhost]

A/N: The Master will be back, soon. ੧| ‾́ 〜 ‾́ |੧

Also: You ever have those random, ethical discussions in your head? And then imagine some character from a show or book or even real life and think about what they might think about it all? Or is that just me?

_________________________________

Part I - (VI)​

The Doctor strode away with wide, excited steps, making it almost hard for me to follow. It reminded me of how I tried to keep pace with my Dad as a child. When he had taught me how they had been marching during his military time. Fewer and wider steps. Quickly I got next to the Doctor and we arrived at the inn - or whatever they were calling it here - together. He opened the door for me, waving me into the warmly lit interior.

It was fantastic! The inside reminded of an old medieval tavern, be it only because of the use of dark wood and decorative ornaments everywhere. The resemblance stopped there, however, as parts of machines were being built into the walls and even into the floor. Everywhere I looked I could see light-grey metal gears of all sizes winding themselves to do or produce something who knows where. And if that wouldn't be fascinating enough, there were no lamps as we would use them on earth. Instead, hundreds of small paper squares were floating in the air, all seemingly filled with the same sentient particles we had encountered outside.

Only then did I finally pay attention to the inhabitants of the place. At first glance they looked rather human, as did the Doctor. But then I noticed the soft scales covering their skin, shimmering in the light when they moved. They also had rather flat noses and their ears tapered off to a set of two or three points.

"Don't worry." The Doctor nudged my side playfully. "They are used to travellers from other planets. No one will ask."

I only nodded, too mesmerized by all the wonderful weirdness around me.

I'm on an alien planet, in an alien inn, it shot through my head, sparking a giddiness I hadn't felt in ages. I scrambled through my pockets. No one would ever believe this! I needed to take some pictu-

I stilled, remembering that the Master still had my phone. This was so unfair!

"You don't happen to have a camera of sorts with you?" I asked the Doctor hopefully.

"Oh, a picture in your mind is worth a lot more than still images, don't you think?"

He guided us to an empty table and, as soon as we sat, a male looking person came to our table, wearing something that resembled a thin, almost translucent tunic in a soft purple colour. All the staff seemed to wear this kind of clothes.

"What may I serve you tonight?" he asked, his voice having a pleasant silky tone to it.

"Mhm... let's see... haven't been here in a while." The Doctor scratched his chin and eyed me curiously, then suddenly held up a finger and ordered grinning, "For me the Pecaranti and for my companion here a Gold Guaracanto, please."

The waiter nodded politely and then rushed towards the counter.

"Whatever you just ordered," I pondered, barely able to keep my eyes from wandering around, "I hope it's digestible for humans."

"Of course it is!" the Doctor protested. "I know what humans can eat and drink. Been around you lot for long enough."

"I see..." I muttered absently, observing two inhabitants cuddling with each other. They behaved a lot like humans, in general, and at first glance; it made me wonder how many species there might be in the universe that were so similar to us, yet so different.

"You're alright?"

"Huh?" I tore my eyes away from the couple, who now shared a tender kiss, "Yeah, yeah, I am. Probably. It's just... hard to wrap my head around. You could almost think they were... human, you know?"

"What, did you think all aliens were slimy, tentacly things, or have huge heads and black eyes?"

I snorted. "You watched earthen movies?"

"Sure did!" The Doctor beamed.

"Oh geeze," I grimaced. "Hope you don't want to wipe us all out, now. Bet I would, were I alien."

The Doctor giggled at that, rubbing his hands in anticipation as the waiter returned with our order. For him it was a beverage in a bubbly shaped glass that was green at the bottom, then turned to purple and lastly to yellow. A fruit that looked like a purple orange slice decorated the rim and there also was an actual straw - and ice cubes.

For me the waiter placed down a dark blue cup that looked like a hemisphere on three tiny porcelain stumps. The content emanated some steam and was crowned by a white substance that - as far as I was concerned - looked a lot like ordinary whipped cream, decorated with tiny golden crumbles. A spoon - an actual spoon - lay beside the cup and I took it to carefully taste a mouthful of the cream.

"Yep... cream," I uttered perplex. "And the gold stuff is chocolate? They really have chocolate here?"

"Not quite, but to you it tastes similar." The Doctor took the straw and swirled the liquids around until all the colours got mixed together and became a weird kind of glowing pink. But as soon as he stopped stirring, the liquids started to divide once again, sinking down to the pattern they had before.

"And this is... don't tell me that's actually coffee!" I dipped my spoon a little deeper, fishing out a substance that, indeed, was dark brown, although it had a strange metallic glint to it.

"Also not quite." He finally stopped playing with his drink and sucked a bit of it through the straw, his face lightening up with joy. "It's prickling on my tongue!" he announced happily, sticking said tongue out to show that it was glittering bluish.

What a childish behaviour! It made me laugh and also relax a little. Carefully I took the cup in both hands, astonished that it hadn't taken on the beverage's temperature, and took a sip. My eyes widened when the substance touched my tongue and I couldn't hold in a delighted groan.

"Oh my gosh! That's the best coffee I ever had! Is that cinnamon in there? Okay, probably not. Tastes like it, though. And a bit like the coffee I once had in France." I took another sip, careful not to burn my tongue.

"It has the same effect as coffee, if you wanna know. Probably a bit stronger, but it shouldn't knock you out."

I simply shrugged. "Guess I'm almost immune to it, anyway. But say... won't you tell me what this was all about?" Finally I sat down the cup, wanting to preserve its content a little while longer. "I mean... what exactly did I stumble into? How comes the Master was Prime Minister on earth? And when I bumped into you and your friends, a while back, where you about to find him?"

"Yeah, guess I owe you an explanation, eh? Mhm... they surely have the best juices in this galaxy," he mused while sucking on his straw. "Well... where to start..."

"Was there really a paradox?" I shot out. "Each time I try to remember what happened after Saxon... I mean the Master... was elected I keep seeing... probably just my tired mind, but... There were thousands of those spheres and I remember running and... ugh, it's all so foggy..."

"There was a whole year that, in fact, never happened." He tapped against his glass. "Peculiar that you remember any of it at all. Shouldn't be, can't be, actually. You can't have been so close to the centre to remember anything. Strange... not concerning, though."

"Some kind of... anomaly?" I pondered.

"Yeah, happens. Some people are more susceptible to these things. Especially when they are highly intuitive and stuff." He shrugged. "Anyway. The Master was trapped on earth. My fault, honestly. He stole my TARDIS and all I could do was to lock her functions. Not important. Took us too much of a delay to come back, though. So he had enough time to prepare some scheme to... well..."

He paused.

"...hurt you?" I asked quietly. "Seems he really hates you and goes out of his way to have you in pain."

The Doctor flinched and looked to the side for a second. "He's not all bad. Just angry, so, so angry. And lost. And all alone. He's my responsibility. After we reverted the paradox I took him with me. Hoped I could help, hoped I could talk some sense into him, make him see that there is more to life than owning everything."

"Didn't work, huh?"

"No." The Doctor sighed and leaned back in his chair. "He used a moment of distraction and slipped away. Luckily he didn't went too far. Well... couldn't, without any means of transportation."

"So I only happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time," I quietly concluded, taking a long sip from my coffee.

"Alas, yes. I'm sorry about that.... uh... what's your name, actually?"

"Lucy. The Master didn't like it, though." I smirked as I recalled what he had told me. "Did he really have a wife? Can't imagine one like him being married."

The Doctor snorted, but I couldn't tell if it was amused or derisive. "A political thing. He broke the poor girl with his hypnotism. Promised her power and the universe and whatnot. But when she saw how cruel he acted, what he did to people... She wanted to flee. But he held her back, broke her mind and made her a mere doll."

A small shiver went through me at the mere imagination. No wonder she had eventually tried to shoot him. It seemed the Master truly was a monster, worthy to be kept in a cage.

But then again...

There had been something about him, something I could only sense, but not put into actual words. And what had the Doctor just told? Angry and lost, and all alone.

Just like myself.

"What will happen now? Can you find him again and... lock him away for good?"

"Yeah, that will be easy." There was an almost sad smile tugging on the Doctor's lips, but then he beamed at me. "So, don't worry. He won't bother you ever again."

I simply nodded.

"What brings a man to act so cruel?" I uttered into my cup.

"He wasn't always like that." Thoughtfully the Doctor stirred the almost gone liquid. "I know there is still something good left in him. And with time... maybe..."

I nodded again and couldn't enjoy the coffee any longer. It would be just to lock him away. It would prevent him from doing harm to people. But I also couldn't get the image out of my head, of the Master being caged in, slowly going mad from the lack of freedom. He didn't seem like a man who could endure this.

And, after all, I knew too well how it felt to be a prisoner of another person.

"You don't seem too happy," the Doctor remarked, curiosity in his voice.

I wasn't, but letting this man roam freely would surely result in lots of people getting hurt. So, getting rid of a single person would save so many lives. So many... for the price of a single one. With a shiver I remembered the small gun in my shoulder bag.

I could still do it.

The weapon wasn't registered to me (probably to no one), I could go disguised and no one would await me to show up there, anyway. They all thought I was living way across the country, with no money to do the trip.

Slowly I glanced up and into the Doctor's eyes. It was almost the same experience as had before with the Master. It didn't feel uncomfortable, although it seemed the alien before me was just too eager to suck every little secret out of me. Not to do harm, not to judge me. Maybe that was the difference to human eyes...

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead." His joyful attitude was back in an instant, making it harder for me.

"Consider someone would be able to make the lives of two people a lot better, because they are... trapped, in a sense, because they are too weak to stand up for themselves, or even... too kind. But in order to do that... you would have to get rid of a third person. And in case you'd actually do that... would this make you a bad person?"

The Doctor fished out the straw from his glass and downed its remaining content. Eventually he looked back at me, his gaze thoughtful.

"Sometimes the results do justify the means. Sometimes it is the wiser thing to do. Sometimes it is actually the kinder thing to do. However," he held up a finger, "the act of getting rid of said person, no matter if by taking their life or locking them away, would still bare the same weight. It's never an easy choice, and it's never easy to live with whatever end you choose. Good, bad... It is both... and neither."

The weight would stay the same.

"I don't know what the Master wanted to make you do, Lucy," the Doctor spoke up again. "And you don't seem to be hypnotized. But you have to know he is extremely cunning and very capable of letting people think they are acting on their own free will, when in fact they are simply lulled in by his words and demeanour."

"Not surprising," I muttered, thinking back to the time he had been candidate for Prime Minister. And when we met, how charming and nice he seemed, how calm and almost friendly he had behaved towards me, aside from the choking part, of course. "Don't worry," I slightly shook my head and gave him a, what I hoped was, reassuring smile. "I'm not going to be his plaything."

The Doctor smiled back and stood. "Alright then. Let's get you home, shall we?"

 

[TardisGhost]

Part II - Abduction​

The ride home was as bumpy as the ones before, however, I felt a lot less excited and even somewhat numb. Reality seemed to have lost its colour, all sounds seemed to be muffled and I couldn't get myself to even look around the wonderfully weird interior of the TARDIS any longer. More than once during those few minutes, I contemplated begging the Doctor not to bring me back, to let me stay and experience more of all the wonders the universe had to offer.

But I wasn't brave enough.

He surely wouldn't want some insignificant random person to tag along, and there wasn't even anything I would have to offer in return.

"The coffee didn't help much, eh?" the Doctor remarked happily.

I sat in the jump seat, glaring into nothingness when he tore me out of my musings. Slowly I lifted my head, glancing into his chocolate brown eyes that twinkled with joy and adventures yet to come. I opened my mouth, ready to let out the question burning on my tongue, but once more it didn't get over my lips.

The Doctor stepped away and opened the doors. "See? Right place, right time. Nothing lost, nothing left. You're back home, safe and sound, as promised."

"Thank you." Finally I managed to lift my leaden body from the seat and sauntered to the exit. "Hard to believe I'm simply back..."

"Told you, everywhere you want." Grinning the Doctor rubbed his hands together, then stretched one out towards me. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Lucy. Have a good life, yeah?"

I shyly smiled back and shook his hand. "I'll try."

After that I stepped outside, finding myself in front of the house my apartment was in. It felt so utterly weird, I could impossibly clad the feeling into proper words. Behind me the sound of the TARDIS filled the air and when I turned around, all I managed was a last wistful glance at the fading blue box.

Only when the last bits of sound had faded did I get out my keys and entered the house, moving to my own little space in there. As always I was greeted by silence when the lock clicked open. I slipped inside, tossing my shoes next to the door and dropping my shoulder bag next to it.

Both, the lack of money and my light sensitive eyes caused me to never install any proper lamps in here, so I moved over to my desk to plug in the light-hose that served me as substitute.

Only then did I fully realize that it was still dark outside.

No one would ever believe any of this, it shot through my head as I slumped into my computer chair and booted up the laptop.

Maybe Max would. He was my best friend, despite the fact that we had never met, nor did I know how he even looked or sounded. Up to this day it had never occurred as odd to me, the thought, however, now popping into my mind out of nowhere. Well, most of my so called friends were mere internet contacts. In a chatbox no one notices how badly you can read and use facial expressions and body language, and you have all the time you need to think of replies.

It wasn't as bad anymore as it used to be, though. Most of the time people didn't notice my autistic behaviour too much, these days. At least they saw me as human enough, now, to interact with me in a friendly manner, instead of instantly pushing me away or - in the best case, honestly - simply pretend I don't exist.

>> Mr.X: Ey, Lucy! You're awake early.

The chatbox distracted me from my dark thoughts and I smiled a little. It was always great to talk to Max. Sometimes he was like a mentor to me, although he was roughly ten years younger. We discussed and philosophized about the weirdest stuff sometimes. No matter if it was glitches in the Matrix, machine elves, lucid dreams, meditating or weird Spongebob conspiracy theories... no topic was weird enough.

Yeah, he would believe it.

Would he?

I hesitated with the answer, unsure if I even wanted someone to believe. It would make everything more real. And therefore really gone, never to return. A deep sigh escaped my lungs as my fingers settled on the keyboard.

>> Luce: You have to talk... But eh, yeah, couldn't sleep... again. Will try again in a minute.

>> Mr.X: Do that. And try out that video I sent you. Those breathing techniques help a lot.

>> Luce: Yeah, yeah, will do. Ey, Max?

>> Mr.X: Mhm? o_Ô

>> Luce: You'll never believe what I just dreamed.

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

Hours went by and the sun rose while I tossed and turned on my mattress. I really hadn't gotten enough sleep in that train, but alas, I couldn't keep my eyes closed, my mind wandering over and over to the strange occurrences from before.

Groggily I reached for my old wrist watch. 8:22 AM already. I sighed, finally accepting that I wouldn't close an eye and lifted myself from the ground. Eyeing the mattress on the floor I decided the first thing to buy would be a proper bed. And a fridge. Maybe a small wardrobe for the few clothes I possessed... Better than the old cardboard crate, for sure. It also would make the apartment look a lot less empty.

If the money was even in my account.

If any of this had happened at all.

Okay, my phone was still gone, but I could have simply lost it, right?

With every passing minute I started to doubt myself more and more. I was prone to excessive daydreaming, able to vanish inside my own head for hours if I wanted to. Confusing those reveries with reality had, however, never been an issue.

On my way to the bathroom I hit the power button on my laptop and then took a quick shower. Coffee next. For what felt like a small eternity I glared at my monitor, barely daring to bring up the online banking. When I finally did, though, I saw the money. It was still there.

Well... real then.

Would I have to pay taxes for it? Would anyone even notice? And if so, would they ask questions? There also was the issue of me living off social services, right now, and they surely wouldn't pay me another cent if they saw this. Then again, I wouldn't need their money any longer... then again, there would be questions, if they'd ever find out... It wasn't as if I couldn't easily manipulate the bank account statements. A little bit of Photoshop would do the trick.

Probably would be easiest to keep everything as it was. And bare the lowest risk.

Still... I decided to wait at least a week or two to see if my bank would contact me on the matter. I'd only pick up a small amount of the money to buy a new phone.

After the second cup of coffee I put on some outdoor clothes and decided to leave for town. Only when I picked up my shoulder bag from the ground did I remember something else. Something that made the bag heavier than I was used to.

With a dry mouth I sat it down and got out the hand gun. It really was a small model, but other than that I didn't know anything about weapons. I found the small switch to unlock the gun and even managed to get out the magazine.

Geeze, those things really were self explanatory. No wonder every idiot could use one.

It was loaded. Somehow I had doubted it the whole time. Numbly I dropped down, sitting cross legged on the floor, the weapon in front of me. I had to hide the damn thing. And then, very carefully, decide what to do.

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

"Hey, what's up with you, Lucy? You seem so down all the time." Alice nudged me into the side.

I glanced up from my phone, my mind returned to the present moment. A bunch of us had met up for a special Pokémon event and everyone was chatting and laughing. Normally I loved hanging around with them all. Some of them were pretty weird themselves, others were totally ordinary people, simply enjoying the game. All ages, genders and races found together here, no one was left out. And with some of them I had even managed to struck up the closest thing to friendship I was able to manage.

Vague acquaintances probably was a better description... but still. I was proud and happy to have at least that.

But today I couldn't enjoy it. Everything just felt so weird. Ordinary. Pointless.

A week had passed since I had met the Time Lords, a week of sleeplessness and a longing for the unknown out there I just couldn't control. Over and over again I cursed myself for not having been brave enough to ask.

Now I was stuck here. Forever.

"I'm just... not feeling too well," I finally answered.

An understanding look whizzed over Alice's face. "Oh my, period troubles?"

I blinked, then decided to simply nod and leave it at that. It was a good excuse, even when it wasn't true.

The truth was a hidden away secret anyway.

I sighed and dropped my head against the wall behind me.

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

My days were filled with boredom and restlessness. For hours I wandered the city, music in my ears, mind in the clouds. Some days I sat in the park and read through my library of e-books, or drew random things in my little notebook. Every sunny spot, though, was always occupied by couples and parents with kids, all laughing and playing and cuddling. Not a single person seemed to be on their own. I couldn't stand their sight.

On other days I watched all the ducks and gooses on the river, until they started to appear with chicks. Small, fluffy fuzz-balls. At first they made me smile, but looking at them, being so protected and guided by their parents made me remember my own childhood. If only someone had been there to protect and guide me, back then. Maybe I wouldn't sit around like this, now. Maybe my heart wouldn't hurt so much.

Sometimes I stayed out way after dark, watching the stars twinkle and the moon rise above the water. It was warm outside, no need to hurry back. It didn't matter. No one was waiting for me.

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------
​

No one had demanded any information about the money, so I had gotten a bit of furniture, my apartment now almost looking like a place a normal human being could, one day, call a home.

I checked my e-mails, skimming over the new job rejections and sighed heavily. I probably could manage for a few years, now. But it wasn't about the money. I needed something better to do than to sit around all day. I needed to busy myself somehow. Heck! I just wanted to be a normal part of society.

"Just give me a chance already," I mumbled frustrated and shut down my laptop.

I could have gotten myself a nice gaming PC, but playing anything didn't give me much joy anymore. It hadn't for some years, actually. To be fair, nothing at all managed to make me smile, these days. Everything was just so mundane and boring. Even Max was gone, had told me he was going on some self-discovery trip for a month or so.

Lazily I heaved myself out of the chair and looked over my food supplies. I still hadn't gotten myself a fridge. It forced me to go out and buy fresh food every day. Gave me a reason to leave the house. There was some rice left, maybe I could make something out of it, today.

With that thought in mind I put on my shoes and grabbed the shoulder bag from the ground. There was a shadow visible through the small frosted glass slit on my door. Could be Derek. An older guy who sometimes came over to chat. In my mind I already prepared some excuse, not feeling in the mood to have anyone around me, right now.

I checked if I had my keys and opened the door, my prepared fake smile dropping in an instant when I saw brown hair instead of grey, a goatee and a fast growing charming smile. His hands were pocketed in an open, stylish black jacket he wore over a dark grey shirt. One shoulder leaned against the door frame, one leg crossed behind the other, stuck in dark blue jeans and black shoes.

The Master held up a hand, wriggled his fingers and smiled even wider when he saw my dumb expression.

"Missed me?"

 

[TardisGhost]

Part II - (II)​

"Master," I brought out dumbfounded and a pleased expression went over his face.

My body froze and went nuts at the same time, my muscles stiff as stone, but my pulse suddenly racing madly, my heart drumming against my ribcage. Everything from the previews weeks fell off my shoulders in an instant, all my doubts, all my depressive thoughts of never leaving this place, of staying alone in a world that didn't want me.

Slowly a smile widened on my face, probably the first one since the Doctor had left, and a soft laugh crept its way up my throat.

"You have no idea, how badly I have to keep myself from hugging you. Seriously."

This definitely was not the answer the Master had awaited, nor was my exalted behaviour. He narrowed his eyes at me, the corners of his mouth, though, twitching up a little.

"You wouldn't survive that."

I giggled. "I know." There was just no way to make that stupid grin vanish from my face. "So, you escaped him again?"

Finally I pulled the door shut behind me and gestured towards the stairwell, simply leading the way outside, when the Master didn't budge. I sure as hell didn't want him inside my apartment.

"And there I thought the Doctor would have given you quite the speech about how dangerous und untrustworthy I am," he stated rather dramatically when we stepped into the sunlight.

"Oh, he did."

"Then why are you so happy to see me?"

Was I imagining it or was he really sulking? I stopped and turned to face him, ready to give him a taste of unexpected. So often I got into trouble because of how different I thought about the world. Uncounted were the arguments about what others considered as fact, as moral, as good or bad. Only for me to poke around in their fixed world view, twisting their truth with cold logic.

People don't like that. At all. But it seemed, no matter if the logic proved otherwise, the opinion of the mass is always right. And when you can't see it the same way, they tend to hate you bitterly.

Right now, though, the fact that the Master was here at all already brought me into deep shit. So, no need to hold back.

"It's boring. This whole stupid planet and its people. And I don't even belong anywhere." I shrugged. "Always thought if I were ever to meet some aliens I'd beg them to take me away."

"Aaaaaw, did the Doctor dump you?" the Master mocked. "Too bad he is fully occupied with taking care that I don't run around and do bad things... oh, wait."

That completely took the wind out of my sails, his words sinking like a stone into my stomach, where they sat and hurt.

"No... I..." I gritted my teeth, feeling so stupid and useless again for not having asked. My voice suddenly faltered slightly. "I didn't think he'd take one like me with him."

By now we had left the building and were heading down the road into town. I didn't pay much attention to the way. If I had, it probably would have occurred to me how idiotic it was to just drag the Master around with me. Only when his hand landed on my shoulder did I stop and looked up at him.

"Where the heck are you going?" he asked with a scowl that showed clearly he wasn't going to follow me around.

"Eh... I... uh... dunno." I stopped. "Just my usual way. It's... muscle memory I guess. What? What is it? Why are you looking so annoyed!"

"You're supposed to be scared!" he whined suddenly and pointed an accusing finger at me. "I thought you would tremble in fear when I show up. I thought you were sooooo relieved that the Doctor saved you from me!" He ended with an even deeper scowl and slightly pursed lips.

Perplex I blinked at him a few times, trying to wrap my head around what the meaning behind his outburst was. There is, of course always the actual words people use, but having a way too literal mind had taught me to always be on the lookout for any kind of additional meaning between the lines.

"How about... scare someone else?" I suggested, shrugging.

He scrunched up his nose and folded both arms in front of his chest. "Don't like unfinished business. And you were fun."

"Great," I huffed.

"No, seriously! You don't often find humans that are fun to play with."

"I feel soooo honoured, Master." Even though my words had been meant sarcastic I noticed a pleased expression on his face for a moment. "You got out already, how about you steal this TARDIS ship and just fly somewhere with more interesting people?"

"Don't need to steal it," he grumbled. "The Doctor just left. No idea where too and I don't care at all. But he forgot to lock me in..."

My head tilted to the side as I suspiciously watched him over the rim of my glasses. Too many thoughts at once shot through my head, far too many to grasp a single one until all the threads slowly combined themselves to a somewhat greater picture. It probably took about ten seconds, in which the Master only grew more impatient.

"So," I started, dragging out the word, "You have a machine that can fly everywhere you want. You could simply leave the Doctor stranded here and never return." His face lit up a little at the thought. "Instead you went through the trouble of finding my address and coming all the way here... Just to scare me a little? Sounds like the dumbest thing you could have come up with, honestly."

As dumb as speaking to him the way I had just done.

His eyes filled with rage, and danger was suddenly radiating from him in a way I had never felt before. His hands were on my collar in the blink of an eye and he almost lifted me from the ground. My back and head painfully thumped against a wall. The Master leaned in close, his eyes only inches away from mine, burning with an all-consuming force.

I swallowed, which was hard in this position, as was looking away. So I didn't, kept staring into those pools of almost black madness. Slowly a smirk tugged the corners of his mouth upwards.

"You shouldn't talk to your Master like that."

Right in that moment I wasn't able to speak anyway, my mouth too dry, my heart hammering too fast against my ribcage. And Still...

His hands released my collar, my feet finally sat down to the ground again. But instead of backing away the Master put his forehead against mine, making me inhale sharply and twitch back. I only hit my head at the wall, however could barely feel the pain. I didn't like people so close. Not at all. The fear in my gaze must have been visible as his eyes glinted satisfied. Then his fingers were at my temples, almost tenderly slipping under the stems of my glasses.

The touch broke my stupor and I tried to shove him away, to duck to the side, to somehow get out of his reach. I didn't even want to know what he was trying to do there. His hands left my head and grabbed my shoulders, then my arms, slid to my thrashing hands to grip them firmly.

"Ah, there it is," he said sweetly. "See? It wasn't so stupid to find you again." With a chuckle he locked eyes with me. "Got what I wanted."

Words fled my mind. Fight or flight never did the trick for me. Instead I only froze, unable to do anything at all. His grip on me sent a nasty shiver down my spine, I could no longer look into his hungry eyes and closed mine.

"Please don't," I muttered.

A low chuckle was all I could hear. Eyes pressed shut I waited, knowing I was too weak to slip away or even think about defending myself. I heard the Master shift, his hands releasing me. A second later a shadow moved in front of my closed lids and I felt how my glasses were carefully slipped from my face.

"Open your eyes, lil' lumin."

His voice suddenly was deep, commanding, irresistible. My lids crept open for a second, before I instinctively squinted, unable to see sharp. But his face was so close, I barely had trouble seeing. Against I winced backwards.

"Tell me, you're scared," he demanded with a wicked smile.

"I... I am." A lump sat in my throat, every fibre of my being begging for more space. "Don't..."

"Don't what?"

"Don't... touch me," I breathed.

"No?" He chuckled and pushed a finger under my chin to make me look up. His grin widened a little. "Well, torturing you wasn't on my mind, anyway." His hand vanished from my chin and instead I could feel two fingers on my left temple. A weird tingling sensation spread through my head. "Sleep."

His voice cut through my mind, dimmed my consciousness like a candle flame.

And the world went black.

 

[TardisGhost]

Part II - (III)​

I awoke in utter darkness, my head aching in a weird, pounding way. Slowly I sat up, groaning quietly and trying to remember what had happened and how I had gotten here.

Where even was I?

My hands fumbled around in the darkness, reaching nothing but the floor beneath me. Wood? There was a seam, another one. The material felt warm. Definitely some kind of wood. No walls. None I could reach from here, at least. Also, the fact that I was able to reach around meant my hands weren't tied together. Were my feet? No.

Carefully I lifted myself from the ground, always holding my hands over me, in case there was something I could bang my head against. It was so horribly dark... As soon as I stood, my head started to spin. There was no way to tell how wide the space around me was, no way to orient myself or to get my mind to keep its balance.

With a sigh I sat down again, tried to look at my hands. Was there really no light at all? Or...

I gulped, my heart suddenly pounding fast and painful in my chest. Had I gone blind? Had the Master done something to my eyes? The glasses on my nose were also missing.

Right, he had taken it, before sending me to sleep. Hypnotism? Was that why he had come so close and touched my head? I reached up, feeling for my temples as if it would do anything.

Well, there was nothing to gain from sitting around. Carefully I got to my knees and fumbled the ground in front of me, inching a little forward and repeated the process. If I was blind there could be an unseen drop right in front of me, and I wasn't in the mood to fall to my death.

I didn't get far, though. Probably one or two meters, at most, when my hand suddenly touched cloth. I poked whatever was in front of me.

"Stop that," someone hissed. "And be quiet."

"Master?" I asked perplex, keeping my voice low. The surprise vanished quickly, however, got replaced by annoyance and a little anger. "What did you do to me?"

"Shhhh, quiet."

I felt his hand on my arm and got dragged forward, falling against his shoulder. Inwardly I got myself ready to fight, but he didn't do anything else.

"Why can't I see?" I whispered, trying to ignore that he still held my arm. Somewhat clumsy I sat down next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

"Because it's dark, duh!" he hissed back, his eye-roll practically audible.

Alright. At least something.

From nearby there were steps, coming closer and closer. The Master tensed and his hand snapped to my mouth to prevent me from making any noise. Not that I had intended to, unknowing as I was. If there was something dangerous outside, I sure as hell didn't want it to eat me!

The steps halted right in front of whatever place they were in. Time stretched to a small eternity, the silence making my heartbeat appear unbelievably loud. It took me a second to realize I was clutching the Master's sleeve with both hands, but I couldn't bring myself to let go just yet. Only when the steps proceeded and eventually vanished did I unclench my fists and let out a breath.

A chuckle resounded through the dark. "Really, you should be more afraid of me than anything else."

"Better the devil you know..." I muttered and relaxed a little.

My response brought out another chuckle and I felt him move away, getting to his feet and doing something. A strip of blindingly bright light flooded the room, made me flinch and hold an arm over my eyes.

"Don't make fuss, human. And come quick, before the Doctor is back."

"The..." I took my arm down and blinked a few times to get used to the light. It wasn't that bright, actually. A quick look back with squinted eyes also revealed we had been in some completely empty room. Not even windows. That really made me wonder what its purpose might be. "Just now... that was the Doctor?" I tried again, barely able to wrap my head around this.

"Yes, now shut it and come." The Master roughly grabbed my wrist and dragged me out.

Now that there was light again I felt how much I missed my glasses. Being extremely short-sightened doesn't necessarily mean you automatically run into everything, it's not a blurry filter over the world, like you see in movies. You still have a full 3D vision and can make out shapes and what is nearer and what is farther away; but none of it is really sharp and it's impossible to read anything.

"Can I have my specs?" I dared to ask. It was more annoying than anything else without, my eyes constantly squinting like a reflex to see a little better.

"If you behave," the Master quipped.

Our way lead through a weird corridor. Its walls were hexagonal in shape, the material varying from dark woods to glaringly white plastic, grey metal and sometimes even things like red crystal... or was that glass? It all was weirdly familiar.

"Isn't that the TARDIS?" I concluded after a while, remembering the only short trip I had into the insides. "How big is this ship? I mean... dimension. Or whatever. Where is it even?"

"Where's what?" the Master absently asked, appearing as if he was concentrating on something. Maybe on finding the right way.

"This dimension. The blue box moves around and is a portal to here, isn't it?"

He stopped and gave me a look, then shook his head and continued the way, still holding my wrist. By now he had loosened his grip, though, not causing me pain any longer.

"It's inside the box. I don't suspect your meagre brain to comprehend it."

"Huh... cool," I mumbled.

The Master turned his head to me, this time with a curious enough look that even I could make it out.

"What?" I made puzzled. "It's not as if you're going to explain it to me, are you? And besides... humans aren't even capable of proper space travel, so how would one like me understand any of this?" My voice got sadder the more I talked and I glanced at my feet.

"What do you know, then?" he drawled, sounding exceptionally bored. "What have you learned in your little unknowing human life?"

At that I stayed silent. We reached a new area that was made of dark, polished wood, giving the corridor a somewhat foreboding look. The Master snickered.

"Go on," he mocked, "impress me with your knowledge."

"I... don't have any," I mumbled. "No one ever gave me the chance to learn anything useful."

With a cold lump in my stomach I remembered all the years I had spent trying to get an apprenticeship somewhere. Anywhere. But as soon as people met me in person it always ended the same way... Humans just don't like weird people.

The grip around my wrist got stronger, his fingers digging into my skin a little. Suddenly he hissed and let go of me so unexpected I almost bumped into him. The Master pushed a hand against my shoulder to prevent it, his face close enough I could see his eyes somewhat, now dark and angry, but... not at me?

"Wh... what is it?"

His hand left my shoulder and he took a step back before he almost hurled around to stride away so fast I had difficulties following, for a moment.

"Humans are disgusting," he mumbled to himself.

"And there you wonder why I want to get away from them," I uttered as quiet as he had.

The Master huffed. "That includes you."

"Yah... I know. An autistic brain sadly isn't enough to count as different species," I joked. "Although people certainly treat one that way."

There was some sort of low growl coming from his direction as he lead us to a set of fine wooden doors.

"So, that's what I saw?" he asked while peeking inside a few rooms, only to pull his head out immediately again and stride to the next.

"Saw? What do you mean?"

He waved a hand in my direction, nose vanished behind another door. "Skin contact. I held you. Saw some snippets. Nothing distinct. But..." He slammed the door shut, scrunched up his nose and regarded me with another look I couldn't decipher. "Felt like you don't have a single positive memory."

Perplex I glared at him, for a variety of reasons. Too many at once for my mind to put it all in order. I blinked a few times, but it was no help.

"You... saw my memories because you held my wrist?" I tried.

He was again looking into another room and I gathered a quick glance inside, squinting my eyes almost completely shut to see what was there. It was tiny, not more than a broom cabinet, but filled with a collection of spider webs. Not just any. Some were quadratic, some even three-dimensional, others glowed purple in the dark and some glittered as if one had strewn some fairy dust over them. It seemed as if someone was collecting those in here. And maybe they were something else entirely. It was hard to tell.

"Time Lords have an affinity for touch telepathy," he explained, what surprised me. The smug tone in his voice, however, gave away why he bothered to explain anything at all to me. "I am one of the best among them."

Alright, telepathy. Then again, he also could hypnotize people, as far as I had gathered. So maybe their kind simply possessed such traits. After all, they were still aliens.

"Any kind of skin contact works," he went on, searching room after room. "But the temples are usually the most direct way to another mind."

Immediately it brought back the memory of our last encounter, of how close he had gotten and...

"Oh," I made. "That's what you wanted from me..."

"Can't hypnotize you directly, so I thought..." He paused, eyeing me. "Why the heck do you look so relived now?" His lips pursed visibly. "Humans are almost not psychic at all, it should scare the crap out of you!"

"A... am I?" I hadn't noticed my expression changing. "Uh, well... I mean... err..."

"What?" He spat.

Why was it so important for him to scare me, I wondered. And then the refusal to regard any personal space.

"Just don't like people so close," I mumbled and watched my shoes, absently detecting that the floor was a weird greyish rubber material. "I already had people act on me like you did... and I thought..." I shook my head. "Well, forget it. What are you even searching here?"

The low chuckle told he was satisfied with himself. Of course he was.

"Oh, so there is something you fear more than death?" he concluded happily. "When I was about to kill you, you afterwards just snuggled up on me like an annoying cat!" he spat with a scowl, that vanished quickly as he stepped closer to tower over me with a now wicket grin. "You don't like me so close?" The Master leaned down a little. "Why? It's not because you fear I might take your life, isn't it?"

I swallowed and contemplated taking a step back. Not that it would help. He could simply follow. Instead I shyly looked him in the eyes. Such swirling depths. So ancient and cruel.

"I... thought you wanted to..." my voice faded to an almost whisper, "... rape me..."

He blinked. Once. Twice. Then he scrunched up his nose in visible contempt and stood straight. "Don't be disgusting, ape. Who'd dirty themselves with vermin such as your kind?" The Master shivered dramatically to make his point clear.

I let out a breath and relaxed. Meanwhile he opened another door. "Where the hell did that bloody ship hide the room?" he grumbled annoyed and looked up into the air. "I'm not going to apologize for the Paradox Machine!"

A weird little hum was the only answer.

"That... might not help," I mumbled, earning myself a dark growl.

The Master rubbed the bridge of his nose, looked at the air again and pointed at me. "How about you get me where I need to go and I won't harm this human?"

Another hum and a soft bristling as if from electricity now was palpable. A second later a path of golden light appeared on the ground, pulsating in an almost annoyed manner. The Master chuckled.

"Good old girl, maybe I'll be nice to you for a while."

"Where are we going?" I wanted to know.

He regarded me with a huff, as if even speaking to me was below his dignity. But then something changed. I sensed it more than anything else, some weird shift in the way he felt. I couldn't place the feeling, though. The Master took a step closer and reached out for me. When I instinctively twitched back, he stilled, slowed, but then reached further and grabbed my hand, this time, only to drag me along again.

"I need a place to hide you from him."

 

[TardisGhost]

Part II - (IV)
​

"Hide me from the Doctor?" I repeated puzzled, glaring down at his hand that held mine.

The Doctor had tried to take my hand, too, I remembered. Was that a thing with Time Lords? Had it something to do with their touch telepathy?

Whatever it was, I didn't feel threatened and therefore didn't struggle.

The Master followed the path the TARDIS was providing, not giving an answer. Finally we reached another door and the Time Lord sighed in relief when he found inside what he had, obviously, been looking for.

I followed, not that I had another chance, but as soon as I saw the room, all possible thoughts of struggle vanished in an instant. Even without my glasses it was a sight to behold. It was a huge study with a fireplace and armchairs, walls lined with bookshelves and even a thin spiral staircase to an upper layer that was, as far as I could tell, also completely filled with books. The ceiling wore a design of colourful dots and lines, maybe star systems? I couldn't discern it. What I didn't need my eyes for was to realize that it was comfily warm in here and now I also spotted a sofa with lots of pillows on it. Or was it a bed? Could be both.

"Huh," I made surprised and fascinated, "Thought you'd tug me away in some dungeon."

"Who says I won't?" The Master chuckled to himself, moving towards one of the shelves. "This is a private room of mine. Found it a few centuries back. Don't think the Doctor knows of it, so it's quite useful."

He let go of my hand and picket out a book to flip through its pages. "Ah, here it is. Thought I'd seen that before."

Curiously I peeked over his arm and squinted at the pages, but frowned. There were circles with dots and lines scattered over the paper, together with what looked like blueprints of machines. Probably. I couldn't get close enough to make it out.

He seemed to get lost in it for a while, not even noticing me anymore, so I stepped away and looked over the shelves. My heart jumped excitedly at the sight of so many books. Most of the titles that were close enough for me to read, didn't ring a bell, a few of them sounded so weird I had the suspicion they might not be from earth at all. And why would they? But then again were they all written in proper English.

Running my fingers over a particularly dusty row I pondered about this. Did the TARDIS translate everything that found its way into it? If the ship was sentient it could probably do that. Then again... I thought back to when I had been having coffee with the Doctor. He had ordered our beverages using English, too. And those aliens sure as hell had spoken another language. Humans hadn't even made it into space yet, let alone discovered new planets, so how would they know what we speak?

Another mystery to solve, I decided as I found a true treasure trove. This whole wall was filled with books I vaguely knew. Fantasy and Sci-Fi literature from earth. Excitedly I grinned and grabbed one of my favourites. The Night Watch series from Sergej Lukianenko. It was with mages and creature living beside us and a secret society of kinds watching over each other. It reminds a little of Harry Potter, but in Russia and a lot darker and mature.

It was such a long time ago that I had read them. Back when my only company had been stacks upon stacks of books. So many stories, so many lives to be absorbed in, just so I wouldn't have to place my eyes on my own.

"You're still here," came the Master's slightly surprised voice from behind. "Thought you'd try to flee."

"And get lost in those corridors?" I thumbed behind me. "Nah, better not."

"Too bad. Would have been funny." He snickered and grinned impishly, then waved with the book from before. "Seems you won't stay here, after all. I found out how to break the seal the Doctor has put around the controls. Come, let's steal it."

I raised an eyebrow and slightly tilted my head while simultaneously folding my arms in front of my chest. "First you kidnap me, then I'm supposed to help you?"

His smile dropped, got replaced by something darker. He stepped closer to hover above me like a hawk, ready to snatch its prey. This time I didn't have the urge to back away, his disgusted words from when we were in the corridors still ringing in my ears. If he wanted to intimidate me simply by invading my personal space, then he wouldn't be lucky.

"I could make you," he stated in a softly threatening voice. "There are so many ways to break a body... a mind. Believe it or not. I don't have to get myself dirty for any of those."

He chuckled and leaned closer, reached a hand out, now causing me to flinch away, despite my previous determination. The wicked gleam in his eyes told of how much he enjoyed my reaction, his bent finger slightly stroking over my cheek. Pure stubbornness kept my eyes glued to his and after an endlessly short moment I realized, he wasn't going to hurt me. Not now, at least. There was something he wanted... needed? And there was this tinge of sadness in his gaze, barely noticeable, except by someone who knew about pain and loneliness.

Still...

"Steal the ship on your own. I'm not too eager to stay on earth, but I'm not going to get myself into something."

Wrong words.

A slow, mean and amused smirk spread on his face, wrinkled the corner of his eyes. Eyes that loved to smile, that enjoyed mischief and fun. Somehow I was sure they could even hold some gentleness in them.

Damn fascinating bastard.

The smile never faltered as he answered, almost carefully, putting some weight into every word. "So stealing is bad? You were ready to commit murder, li'll lumin. Willingly even."

I swallowed, my mouth getting dry at the mere thought, at the knowledge of the gun still lying in my desk drawer. The words were on my lips already, tasting bitter and like the lie they were, so I never spoke them out. I would have done it to protect.

He chuckled when he saw the emotions fighting in my eyes. The Master stretched out a hand again, but this time as an offer. "Come. You wanted to see the universe, didn't you?"

Oh how much I did! Still, I narrowed my eyes it him, sensing that something was off. "What would you gain from showing me? To you I'm nothing but a toy."

He simply shrugged. "I'm bored. Maybe I want to know why the Doctor is so fond of your race? Does it matter?"

Did it? I owed the Doctor nothing. Hell, I didn't even know him. And he hadn't asked me to come along and see the stars! Hesitantly I reached out my hand, but stopped in the last moment. Pieces of a puzzle got put together, forming a vague thought.

"You need me to deactivate the lock around the controls, right?" His expression twitched at my words. "Not that I'd understand it, but if it were different, you'd have left me here and be gone already."

His hand snapped down to his side, brows furrowing in irritation. "Yes, true. It's a partially telepathic lock. Needs two different signatures, and both have to act on their own free will."

I huffed and folded my arms. "I see. And as soon as the lock is gone, I'm dead."

The Master gave me an eye-roll. "If you keep being so annoying, then yes. Help with the lock and I might let you tag along for a bit. As long as you don't get in my way, that is."

"And you would do what?" I countered. "All I know about you isn't really speaking in your favour. Can't judge if the Doctor has a right to keep you a prisoner, but I also don't want to be responsible if you do something horrible to other people, or planets. Or the entire universe."

Suddenly his hands were at my collar, drawing me right under his face that was contorted in anger, nose and mouth wrinkled to a snarl. "You're as sanctimonious as him!" he spat. "As your whole worthless species. I had some hopes you might be less infuriating, but fine." His grip loosened for a second, but then he shoved me backwards, against one of the shelves that spilled some books to the floor. "You're not going to leave until I got what I want."

And with that he rushed away, slammed the door shut in his back and left me alone in my confusion and the weird cold feeling that painfully twisted my guts.

 

[TardisGhost]

Part II - (V)​

Reading books with an eyesight of -10 and no glasses is a real bother, that's for sure. But what else was there to do?

When the Master left, it took me almost a minute to halfway comprehend my new situation. Of course I tried the door, unsurprisingly finding it locked. After that I walked along the walls to see if there was another exit, but found none.

"Hey," I tried, hoping the TARDIS would hear me in this room. "Can't you get me out or something?"

There was no response in any way and I sighed heavily.

"Great," I mumbled. "Do you only hear me in the corridors?"

It was worth a try, wasn't it? And really, there was... something. There is no way I could explain what it was, a tug at my consciousness? I still had no idea how this ship communicated, other than with hums and lights on the ground. Strangely enough this small tug somewhat calmed me a little. It was good to know that I wasn't completely alone.

"Any ideas how to get out?" I tried next. "Seems you can lead the way, but not open doors? Or did he lock it in a special way?" Again there was some kind of tug, but its meaning was lost to me. I sighed and rubbed my eyelids. "So, no exit..." and mumbling I added, "and probably no secret passage to a bathroom either."

I really wasn't in the mood to have to release myself in some corner of the room. The mere thought was disgusting, let alone that it was unforgiveable to do this to a place of books.

When I opened my eyes again, there was a door. I blinked, mouth dropping slightly open. That couldn't be, could it? This hadn't been there before. I stretched out my hand to touch the wood and found it to be real. A glance inside not only told me it was unlocked, but also lead me into a small... bathroom. Really tiny, only a shower, a toilet and a sink with a small mirror. There even were towels and some hygiene products.

"So, you can create rooms?" I asked. The TARDIS could obviously hear me, even when it wouldn't answer in a way I could understand. "But you can't unlock the door. Too bad. But thanks for this one, anyway." I waved towards the small bathroom.

Just some months ago the thought of an entire room simply appearing out of nowhere would have made me laugh. Sure, I'm a sucker for all things paranormal and weird, but even I know there are things that simply don't happen.

Well... Seems I had been wrong with this.

Since there was now nothing else left to do, I started to look through the book shelves once more. Which was tedious, because I had to take out each and every book to hold it close in front of my face to read the title. Eventually I just picked a few random ones, carried them to the sofa and flopped myself into the pillows.

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

"You're... reading..."

The Master's disappointed voice tore me out of a story of two alien creatures, whose names I couldn't pronounce, on their journey to find the hair of another creature I couldn't keep in my mind.

I glanced up, slowly coming back to reality. "You feel annoyed," I mumbled. "Guess I can't do anything without you getting riled up about it." Shrugging I closed the book and sat it next to me. "Would be a lot easier with my glasses, though. What do I have to do to get them back?"

The smirk on his face was visible even from a distance. "Oh, you're learning. Good little ape."

"Aren't you too?" I sighed. "I mean, you look the same as humans. So you must have similar ancestors."

"We came first," the Master snarled, pointing a thumb at himself. "And no, we do not stem from such primates."

"Alright, alright." I held up my hands in mock-defence. "So... glasses?"

The smile was back. "You won't get them. Since they are so important to you," he bent down slightly to be at my eye level, "I will just keep them. Or shall I break them into pieces? Blind humans are somewhat hilarious."

I sighed and put my hands down, sinking down a little. "Seriously, what's the deal with you? Are you just a bully or is there some plan behind this?"

The Master let out a mean chuckle and flopped down next to me, spreading his arms to lean them on the rest, one behind my neck. I shuffled away a little, although I knew he only did this to unnerve me. Well, he succeeded with that. How had I ever felt so comfortable with that man during the train ride? He had felt so differently back then. Much less... chaotic.

"Well..." he drawled, glancing up at the ceiling as if he had to think about his next words. A grin split his lips and he slightly bent his head down to me. "You could help with the seal in the control room."

"Nope," I deadpanned, popping the 'p'.

"I could get you to a place where they can heal your eyes."

"As if you would." I snorted. The thought was extremely tempting, although it was highly improbable that any alien race out there knew how human eyes worked. "As soon as that seal is cracked you'll probably throw me into a black hole or something."

"Hey, great idea!" He clapped his hands together and giggled childishly. "We could even get a few more apes and throw them in one by one. I'd let you watch. I'd even let you throw them in yourself. How about that?"

I grimaced at the idea and shook my head. "Why would I want that?"

"Because you'd get away with it," he answered, his voice suddenly deep and tempting. "No one would know, no one would judge and never ever would you get punished for it."

Swiftly he removed his arms from the back rest and shifted on the sofa to sit cross-legged, facing me. I hastily slid away, but then mirrored his pose. It was easier to keep him in my field of vision that way. When he spoke up again, his voice held the same foreboding tone in it, mixed with something that could be anticipation or excitement.

"If I would give you a button to press and it would wipe out an entire planet, would you do it?"

Perplex I blinked at his blurry face, immediately wanting to protest. The penetrating gaze he gave me, let my tongue stumble over the words, though, making it impossible to speak them out.

"Wh... why would I?" I hesitantly asked instead.

"Because," he smiled, "I just saw that tiny flash in your eyes. This short moment of consideration." A low chuckle resounded from him before he continued. "Assume I could turn back time and make it undone immediately." Now he leaned forward, deliberately close enough for me to see his glinting eyes, "Would. You. Do. It?"

The heaviness in each of his words made me swallow, my mind racing a million miles per hour. No consequences. Not even the event itself would be left behind. It literally wouldn't have happened. Was he planning to create another paradox?

My mind created the scene on its own, us standing in the console room, me having a button in my hands, through the opened doors of the TARDIS there was a planet visible, maybe earth, maybe some similar place. I glanced up at the Master, saw him nod encouragingly, and I...

A chuckle let the image evaporate into blackness. All I could do was to stare at the Master, to feel raw power emanating from his very being. He would do it, wouldn't hesitate for even a second, I realized. Because he knew how it felt, this surge of adrenalin coursing through one's entire body, head to toe. The tingling in the tips of one's fingers, hovering over the button to put an end to millions of lives as if they were mere ants.

Once more I swallowed, tore my gaze away from my hands I hadn't noticed I'd been now staring at. When I looked back up I met the Master's hazel eyes, in the dim light almost green somehow. He knew it already, didn't need an answer, but wanted to hear it nonetheless, waiting like a spider for certain prey.

"Answer honest, little lumin and I'll give you back your precious glasses." A toothy grin split his lips. "Lie and I'll toss them into a sun."

He wouldn't judge.

My mind wandered back to the gun in my shoulder back, sitting at home.

He would simply smile and nod. And then watch as the world below us would burn, those ancient eyes reflecting the flames of chaos, lips twitching up to an almost melancholic smile. I could see the image as if I were there already.

And it was calm. Like snow falling from the blackened sky of night time.

His eyes bore into mine, the smile long faded, as he patiently sat there, waiting.

I licked my dry lips and took a breath, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"I would do it."

 

[Axel]

So would I;
I am so annoyed with humanity... yeah we will attempt Mars colonization in 2016...wait, lets do 2018...No!2020!I promise!
You know what? too bad for you, now mars is gone.
Muahahaha

Interesting story; thanks

 

[TardisGhost]

Lol, yeah, if we keep putting it off like that it probably will be gone before we can xD
❤

 

[noncannon]

Very intriguing character exploration piece. Your depiction of the Master's character is flawless, as far as I can tell.

The Doctor really needs to keep a better lid on his "prisoner" (though, for all we know, it may have been relative centuries between the two meetings).

In a realistic universe, not relying on mental socialization shortcuts would be a big advantage in figuring out aliens (in the Whoniverse, which caters to British audiences, not so much).

 

[TardisGhost]

Thanks! <3 I'm sure it's not flawless, lol, but I do my best to keep him somewhat in character. xD

 

[TardisGhost]

Part II - (VI)​

There was a pause stretching between the two of us, my heart hammered in my throat, a foreboding feeling threatening to overwhelm me. What the hell had I gotten myself into? What was I doing to say something like that? And what would I do if it wouldn't stay at simple words?

My previous words scared me more than the Master could in that moment. Because they were true.

Suddenly he burst out laughing, bending back and clapping his hands together. It took him a good few seconds to calm down and grin back at me, then he produced something from his jacket pocket. "Close your eyes."

I did. It wasn't as if I could defend myself against whatever he wanted to do to me. And in that very moment it didn't feel as if he wanted to harm me. My gut feeling proved to be right, the only thing that happened was that I felt how he slid my glasses on my nose, carefully, almost gently.

"Look at me, lill' lumin," he commanded in a soft voice.

Slowly I opened my lids, my eyes needed a moment to adapt after so many hours, but the glasses sat perfectly, not needing to be adjusted. There was a pleased, subtle smile on the Master's face.

"Why'd you always call me that?" I asked. He had used that term a few times already.

He shrugged. "Because you're small."

I pursed my lips. "'m not that tiny," I grumbled. "Wasn't what I asked, anyway. What does 'lumin' mean?"

He quirked a brow. "Means the same as Lucy... Light."

"Oh. Right. You didn't like my name." I smiled at the notion that he went so far to give me a new name, but with the same meaning, when he would have been perfectly able to simply keep insulting me with calling me ape or something.

"So, how about we steal the TARDIS now?" he offered with a sweet, boyish smile.

I couldn't. It just wasn't... right? Why did it bother me anyway? There was nothing to gain from not going with him, nothing to lose.

"No?" The Master tilted his head, voice sounding surprisingly unconcerned. He hadn't awaited a positive answer.

"I can't trust you," I simply stated.

"No... No you can't. You shouldn't, in fact." He poked his tongue out between his teeth, eyes crinkling.

"Then why would I help you? I might end up gaining nothing from it."

"You might end up not losing anything."

I huffed and turned my head away. "You have to offer more than that." Shrugging I glanced back and smiled impishly. "How about something to eat for a start? I'm starving. And coffee."

The Master rolled his eyes and shot up from the sofa. "If that's all."

"No, it's where we start." I stood too, still smiling. "As it seems you can't kill me or compromise my brain functions too much."

"I could just collect some other stray ape." He bent down to me and scowled.

"You could." I simply nodded, then grinned. "But I assume getting me some food and coffee would take a lot less time, right?"

The Master rolled his eyes, but, at the same time, appeared oddly amused. "Well, then come."

With that he rushed past me and left the room with wide steps, eager to let me fall behind and get lost in the corridors. Remembering the good old military way of walking, I followed without that much problem, fewer but wider steps. Saves energy, gets you farther, actually quite good for short legs like mine.

"How about you tell me some things?" I suggested, trying to hide that my breath was quicker than I liked it to be.

"No."

"I might change my mind about helping when I know more about who the person actually is I'm supposed to help, ya know?" There was no answer, so I dared to continue, curiosity winning over, "Where'd you come from? Is it far from earth? And why earth at all? What's your actual name and how old are you?"

Suddenly the Master stopped, making me almost bump into him. Luckily I caught myself in time, taking some deep breaths to calm down my pulse. Dang, my condition was really the worst.

"Who I am?" he repeated with a cold tone and dark eyes. "I am the one who killed countless of your kind already, and believe me, my methods are very creative." A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I am one who is dangerous enough to be locked away inside this TARDIS to rot, because the Doctor knows I would just burn his beloved earth to the ground would he let me out." With an almost crazed smile he bent down to me a little. "I am the one who doesn't bother about you getting hurt or dying. I am the nightmare you wake up from, screaming and wishing you could simply forget. But you won't. The memory will haunt you for the rest of your pitiful existence."

I hadn't noticed how my heart had sped up due to his words, or rather because I could feel their sincerity. Now, though, I felt it with full force, drumming in my chest, my throat. I had stumbled into some weird story, one about a psychopath, eager to leave as much blood and misery on his way as possible. But what was my own role in it?

"How..." I swallowed and looked away for a second, then back into his cruel hazel eyes. "How did you...kill those people?" Shit, was I really asking that?

Slowly his smile widened as he straightened up and continued the way, slower this time. "Too many ways to get started somewhere. But... you might find that one... funny." The last word was spoken with such a sarcasm that it made me almost shiver. "Once I got the Nestene Consciousness to work with me. They inhibit plastic. And your little planet is so full of that stuff! A true paradise. Remember that time when all mannequins went haywire and started attacking people?"

"Oof, yeah, that was crazy. Only heard in the news, though. That was you?"

"The Nestene. Not me, this time. I was involved some decades before that. Had them inhabit small plastic daffodils that were handed out in the streets. As a nice little gift to everyone." He chuckled.

"And each of those had one of those Nestene inside?"

"Eh, let's leave it at that. The actual explanation would fry you silly small brain."

"Hey! I'm not stupid!"

"Compared to me you are, so be quiet." He ignored my slight sulking and continued, obviously happy to tell about his misdeeds, "The plan was to hand out millions of those, all over the world. And then awaken them via radio signals so they would spring to life and suffocate their owners. Brilliant! Isn't it?" He cast a look at me, boyishly smiling all over his face.

"A bit... complicated." I raised my brows, trying to remember if I had ever heard of an incident that could be linked to this. "It didn't work, though, right?" I tilted my head slightly. No, there was nothing I could remember. "A story like that would be famous."

The Master grumbled something inaudible into his beard. Something about the Doctor being infuriating. I puzzled together that he probably had foiled the plan. "There were still enough people, who died from it," the Master concluded in the end. "There we are."

He opened a door and lead me into a cantina of sorts. It looked modern, but not futuristic, cosy grey and blue tones decorated the room, there was a kitchen counter, some machines I couldn't identify and a table with a bunch of chairs.

"But don't you think I will cook for you or something stupid like that," the Master spat and shoved me in the direction of the machines. "There. They produce whatever you want."

"Just like that?" I curiously tapped the screen in front of me, grinning as it sprang to life and showed a bunch of items. There were different categories, enabling me to let it either produce ingredients or whole meals. "Huh, like a replicator. Cool!"

There was an annoyed growl from behind me and when I looked back, the Master stood there with folded arms and furrowed brows.

"What did I do wrong, this time?" I asked and sighed. "The Star Trek reference?"

"The not being bothered about me telling you about murdering countless of your species," he grumbled.

"Oh... sorry." I shrugged and turned back to the machine, my mind way too occupied by too many choices and a growling stomach. "Is there nothing with meat in it?"

The Master let out an exasperated grunt, stepped next to me and tapped one of the icons.

"Ah, thanks! Missed that one," I exclaimed happily and decided to let the machine produce something that looked like a burger. "Gosh, I'm really starving."

"I'm noticing," came a meek reply.

"Oh, come on. I wasn't even there. Why should it bother me who you murdered?" I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "It's like crying every time you hear about someone dying in the news."

"Cold hearted twat."

"Wha-haaat?" I let out indignantly. "You're one to talk! You tell it like it's a game!"

"Because it is!" he snapped. "Your race means nothing to me."

"But I am the cold hearted one, yeah?" I snorted and watched the machine as it started to seemingly assemble atoms. It looked like magic, how a plate slowly manifested, then the burger. And next to it a plastic cup with coffee. "Want something, too?" I asked before taking both items to carry them to the table.

"You're insufferable," he growled back.

"A simple 'no' would have done it, too, ya know?"

"How about you don't even try to be nice to me? I won't thank you."

"Nice?" I asked puzzled."Geeze... if being a little considerate already counts as nice, then I really don't want to know what your life looked like, so far." Shaking my head I sat down in one of the chairs and started to shove the burger into me. It was exceptionally delicious and hard to believe that none of it was made out of real ingredients.

The Master planted himself on a chair opposite to me, elbows on the table, chin resting on folded hands. I decided not to be bothered by his staring, too hungry to let the remnants of my beaten social anxiety take over. Somewhere in-between bites, however, I recalled a small detail he had mentioned and I put down the food to glare back at him.

"You said that was some decades ago."

The Master only lifted an eyebrow.

"You... don't look much older than maybe... in your mid thirties or so?" I elaborated.

At that his smug smirk was back. Only that, though, leaving it to me to figure this out.

"You don't age like we do? You get older than humans? Or..." I pondered for a second, coming to the conclusion that the thought wasn't so farfetched, now that I mulled over it. "That's not your actual body, and in reality you're some slimy creature that highjacked it to not attract attention."

With every word his smile grew wider until the Master finally burst out into laughter, from which he recovered quickly, though.

"I like the last one. There are enough species who can do similar things." He chuckled. "But it's the first two. We Time Lords are simply better than you lot. In. Every. Aspect. Means, we don't age as fast as you, and, additionally we live a lot longer. And, on top of that, we don't die so easily. And if we do... well... we can even cheat that, to an extent."

"Okay, I start to believe the thing about the superiority," I let out after swallowing the last bite. "How old are you, then? In earthen years."

He made a face as if he had to actually think about it, but somehow I was convinced he already knew and made it just for show.

"Give or take a few decades," he stated with a smug grin, "roughly nine hundred years."

It took me some seconds to decide whether or not I had heard right. Was that even possible? Was he fooling me? And if not... what did such an old creature really want from me?

 

[Mixter E]

She already knows he's a murderer, does he not know that humans just have a hard time processing death statistics? I wonder if that means Time Lords and Ladies would feel bad about what he just told her. Or if he's just used to Neurotypical humans who pretend to be bothered about a hypothetical set of humans they've never met before. That'd be kinda funny because that'd mean the Master never paid enough attention to realize they're only marginally upset about each murder story he tells them.

 

[TardisGhost]

Probably all of what you said, lol.
And I guess he's too used to how terrified the Doctor always is about his actions. Having some going: "Eh... whatever." probably just triggers him xDDD

 

[TardisGhost]

Part II - (VII)​

"You're bluffing," I deadpanned with squinted eyes, even though I somewhat believed it. Everything was possible with an alien. But he looked so... young, if not for his eyes. They told another story. One of countless years, unimaginable suffering and so, so much loneliness. All of it shining through for a mere moment.

He huffed and smiled bitterly. "Wish you were right, little one."

I took a sip from my coffee and studied his face for a while longer, especially since he wasn't focusing on me, but rather at something within his own mind. It almost seemed as if he were in pain, barely able to hold up the facade of nonchalance. His hands sank to the table, one forefinger taping against his other hand. Always in the same rhythm.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Pause.

tap, tap, tap, tap.

Pause.

Always the same, never changing in speed. How odd, I thought as I emptied the coffee, still contemplating what to ask next. What did I want know about him? What person was he? Old, okay. Cruel, definitely. Heartless?

No.

I had met many people throughout my life. Many people that could be considered bad in countless ways. Psychopaths, way too many narcissists and other dysfunctional people. They all shared the same cold charm that was designed to lull you into a false state of safety, but still gave me a sense of... wrongness when I was near them. They all wanted you to succumb to sympathy and trust, for them to be able to get into your head and break you for good.

The Master, however, was just downright blunt with his self-proclaimed evilness. He didn't seem to care at all what I thought of him, wasn't interested in building some kind of fake trust, although I was rather certain he could, if any of his plans required it. And right now, it actually did. So why did he behave as if he wanted to shove me away as far as possible, even though he needed my willing help?

I sighed and shook my head. This guy just made no sense at all. How he sat there, lost in whatever thoughts, tapping the strange rhythm. But now his eyes actually showed the pain somewhat. Whatever plagued him seemed to get worse.

"Hey," I quietly interrupted his and my own musings, "are you okay?"

He woke from a dream, a nightmare, a memory too painful to bare. His eyes were wide in an almost childlike manner, surprised, pained, desperate even. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again, pinched his eyes shut and suddenly let out a quiet groan, while his hands shot to his head, clawing into his hair.

"Master?" I tried again, uncertain what was wrong and what to do about it.

There was no answer, not the slightest hint that told me he even heard me. Instead he only sank further down, fingers stiff, but also twitching from time to time. Finally I shot from my chair and walked over, placed a hand on his underarm to get his attention.

And I got it. Way too fast for me to react, his head shot up, he grabbed my wrist and pushed me away from him. His eyes were clouded by what I could only be describe as unadulterated madness. But not the type one would find in a psych ward. This went deeper, far deeper, as if a foreign entity was scraping at his very existence.

"It hurts," he muttered, sounding desperate. "It never actually hurt before!"

"C... can I help somehow?" I wanted to know, barely able to cope with the sight. I could feel that he wasn't acting. Whatever happened was very real.

Suddenly he sprang from the chair, made it clatter to the ground behind him, his hand still around my wrist, the second suddenly grabbing my collar. He growled. Actually growled. Like a wounded wolf.

"Insufferable thing you are," he snarled with disgust. "Don't think I will let you go just because you pretend to care!"

With his last words he slammed me onto the table, both hands around my throat, thumbs pressing against my windpipe. Not enough to really strangle me, but painful and awakening some of those old survival instincts I wasn't even aware I possessed. But there wasn't much I could do, trapped between him and the table, his truly inhuman strength holding me in place with ease.

"Not... true..." I brought out somehow, feeling my vocal cords rub against his thumbs. Such an odd sensation.

There was a pained smile on his lips for a moment, then he tore me up and just threw be to the ground. My back and head hit the floor, the impact letting stars dance in front of my eyes. I barely noticed the pain, only how my consciousness flickered back to life a moment later.

Or maybe more than one. When the stars and black spots vanished there was a dull throbbing in the back of my head and I heard a voice.

Not the Master's.

"...were you even thinking?" the Doctor called out exasperated.

"Oi, you always have pets! Let me have one of my own," the Master answered snappishly.

"Humans aren't pets!"

"Oh, reeeeaaaaally?" the Master drawled with mock surprise, "What a revelation, coming from you."

What followed was a heavy sigh and a few seconds of silence, in which I finally realized that I wasn't lying on the floor anymore, but on a softer surface. Opening my eyes revealed a med bay of sorts, countless weird devices and monitors around me, some noises that were impossible to assign.

Okay, I definitely had been out for longer. Nothing hurt, though, or felt strange, so I hoped everything was alright with me. Reason enough to close my eyes once more and lull myself into a few more moments of peace and quiet, not wanting to face the question what would now happen with me. Our little game was over before it had even begun properly.

The Doctor spoke up again, his voice quiet now, "I'm really trying to help you, you know?"

The Master snorted. "As if any of those bloody tests of yours would reveal anything. I searched for centuries! I went to any place known and unknown to find someone to tell me how to get rid of the drums! Guess what? They are still in my head!"

"I... I know! I'm trying, okay?" the other Time Lord sighed again. "But maybe you should consider that they are just... weeeell... in your head?"

The Master groaned irritated.

"Some kids got a lot worse maladies from looking into the Schism," the Doctor tried to defend himself.

"Tch, yeah... but those had the luck to completely go mad. And not..." It sounded as if he had thrown his hands up and was now dropping them down to his legs. "Can't expect you to believe me, though... You never have."

"Not this again. Listen, Master... I'm not going to let you run around and wreak havoc all over the universe. But I also do not want to treat you as a prisoner!"

With that I heard angry steps quickly departing, followed by a slammed shut door.

"Hypocrite," the Master grumbled, but then stayed silent.

Did he leave, too? The door didn't resound a second time and otherwise there was only a lot of different and alien humming noises around me. Finally I decided to open my eyes again, only to blink into a curious face that slowly got graced by a mischievous smile.

"You too think it was a stupid idea to leave me with you in one room?" he asked, eyes wrinkled in joy. "He forgot that I'm all about wreaking havoc over the universe."

Slowly I sat up and rubbed my still slightly throbbing head. "Aren't you?"

Strangely enough his smile faded. The Master glared at me for another moment, then sat on the bed next to my feet, arms crossed.

"I didn't lie about my age. What do you think, lill' lumin? All those years... what would you do with them?"

"Uh... phew..." I sat up and looked around for my glasses. "No idea, seriously."

"Looking for those?" He pointed at a small table with drawers next to him that was littered with... stuff. I squinted my eyes at it, but couldn't make out anything. The Master reached over, picked something up and wordlessly handed it to me. "You can't even begin to comprehend how much time that is, right?"

"Thanks... no, not really." Numbly I glared at my specs, thinking about the past thirty years. About all the shit I had been through. "Sometimes it feels as if every second is one too much," I mumbled so quietly, I wasn't sure the Master even heard it.

"Think so?" He tilted his head a little. "There' so much to do, though."

"So many places to burn and so many lives to take?" My words were dry, bare of any emotion. The slight smile on his lips confirmed my words to be true. "Would I have your possibilities... I don't know what I would do. And if it wouldn't do worse."

The Master chuckled. "My, aren't you cold hearted."

I shrugged and finally put on the glasses. His face was such a carefully crafted mask of mischief. But behind... right now there was something else behind those hazel eyes. Something calm, the perfect opposite to the madness that had clouded them before.

"'m not sure I have a heart," I confessed. "And I wouldn't want to wander the universe being all alone. Would probably be worse than my current life."

"Yeah..."

Just this word. This tiny sound of agreement. It told so much. Revealed so many unspoken truths. There was a sense of sadness in the air, thick and almost palpable. I swallowed and looked away, right in time to see the door opening.

"Oi! Get away from her!" the Doctor called out and rushed over.

Mockingly holding his hands up the Master sprang from the bed and took a step away. "As you command, Lord Doctor."

The other man rolled his eyes. Then he gave me a warm smile and rushed over.

"We only talked," I assured. "He hasn't done anything."

The two cast a glance at one another I couldn't decipher. It was obvious that the Doctor didn't believe my words and he studied my face closely as if to make sure I wasn't... oh right... hypnotized. It seemed he was satisfied, the smile wandering back to his lips as he pulled out his strange, noisy wand - I still had no clue what it was.

"Mhm, all readings are fine. You're good, Lucy. Come, come." He clapped his hands and reached one out to me. "Get up. We'll get you back home."

"H... home?" I asked dumbfounded as I got up, without his help.

"Yeah, of course! I'm not letting him hold you prisoner! Not on my watch!" The Doctor grinned from ear to ear, gesturing the other Time Lord towards the doors. "You first."

The Master rolled his eyes, but moved. It seemed as if he was already used to the procedure and somehow I was quite sure it hadn't always worked so smoothly. In the beginning he probably had put up a fight. But somehow it now seemed less effort to just follow along. As did I.

"Do... you have to bring me home?" I asked carefully.

"Why, of course! My special service. Free of charge," he joked and giggled to himself.

"And I can't just... stay? It was so cool to..."

"No!"

Abruptly he stood and I almost bumped into him. The look in his chocolate brown eyes was deadly serious all of a sudden, darting towards his fellow Time Lord for a second, then back to me. The smile returned, as if it was routine.

"It's too dangerous. I don't want you to get harmed, Lucy. And I don't think, travelling is... It wouldn't do you good."

"You mean," the Master interrupted snidely, "you're afraid she could not fit into your category of big eyed human puppy with a way too soft heart and a too high moral ground? Ohhhh, right! That's not the reason, is it? She needs protection! From me!"

"Quite right!" the Doctor snapped, leaving it open which part exactly he answered with it.

For the rest of the way we stayed silent. I tried to ignore the mean lump in my throat and the nasty feeling in my stomach. Not again. Not again! I didn't want to be stuck on earth, forever!

The though repeated in my head like the songtext to the wheezing and whoozing of engines, as we rushed from one place to the other in seemingly no time. It didn't yield the same fascination in me now. I didn't care how we could move so fast.

The Doctor was busy with his control table, the Master leaned with crossed arms against one of the coral pillars, seemingly unfazed by the rumbling and shaking. It eventually stopped and I managed to catch his eyes for a brief moment on my way to the doors, begging him with mine to do something.

But all I got in return was a bitter smile.

"I'll help," I whispered while passing him. If the Master had heard my words and how he reacted I couldn't know.

Outside the TARDIS was broad daylight, greeting me with warm rays and busy streets. The Doctor waved goodbye, promising to take care this would never happen again. And I knew... oh I knew so well that he was doing the right thing. That he was protecting me and maybe countless of lives and places.

But in this moment I hoped for nothing more than the Master to escape again.

 

[Axel]

Thanks for the meal~~~

 

[TardisGhost]

A/N: Uhhhhh... guess I already warned you at the beginning, but this story is getting really dark somehow. (And this isn't even the really dark part, lol)

Part III - When there is nothing left​

Returning home for the second time was even more uncanny than the first. I had been away for only such a short time, but it felt like a small eternity had passed. Everything around me seemed wrong and out of place.

Numbly I closed the door in my back and sunk down against it, wrapped my arms around the knees to bury my face. It wouldn't take long. Just a few minutes or hours and there would be a knock on the door and the Master standing outside with his stupid grin.

I wondered what had been wrong with him before. Something had made him just snap all of a sudden. My head was still throbbing a little, making me scowl. Maybe it would be better to stay away from that man. In the end it didn't matter if he was just unnecessarily cruel or truly mad. The outcome was pain.

With a sigh I lifted myself from the ground and strolled over to my PC. Distraction. I'd need lots of it.

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

Hours turned into days, turned into weeks. Getting back to normal was even harder the second time. I tried to occupy my mind with Netflix, drawing random things and spending more time in chats than necessary.

It didn't help.

I tripled my efforts to find work, to no avail. I pushed myself to go outside as often as possible, meeting with people, even though there was no energy left in me to deal with them. Decades of wearing social masks had taught me to hide, to appear friendly and joyful at all times. But was that really me?

One evening I lazily browsed through the internet, searching for alien encounters. This had become quite the obsession. I found so many pictures and reports of the blue box, it was almost hilarious. It seemed as if the two visited earth more often. Maybe I could find them again, somehow. And there was so much to find! Theories, blogs, creepy pastas... it was so easy to get lost in this virtual world.

So much so that I, eventually, stopped going outside much, stopped meeting with people, stopped hanging around in all those chats. And I didn't even notice at first, my mind to occupied by my searching.

It could have been a month or two, after the obsession had started, that I finally opened my chat program and booted up my phone again to look what had happened since I had gone. There was one message from Alice, asking if I could lend her some money, one from a fellow writer who wanted me to read his stuff. I looked through all the channels I usually was in, searching for any mentions of my username.

Ten minutes later I put everything down. Gone for over a month, and not a single person had asked where I was or if I was alright.

I sighed and picked up my drawing tablet, clicking on some random horror movie. Usually I'm easily scared by those, but nowadays they didn't bother me much. It didn't dispel the numbness in my mind, didn't evoke the slightest rising of my heartbeat.

Eventually I caught myself just glaring at the monitor, not doing a single stroke and having no clue what had happened in the movie so far.

Still no messages.

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

More time passed with research and long sessions of wandering around aimlessly. The forest in my area became my go-to place during the summer months, then during autumn. I loved the peace and quiet here, the shy animals, the birds singing, wind rustling through leaves, rays of sun shining through thick crowns. I watched the leaves turn colourful and fall, blanketing the ground to my feet.

How long had it been that I had spoken to another person? Curious as I was I had not messaged anyone, just to see if anyone would ever ask about my whereabouts. They all had my phone number, my mail address, my chat name. But neither family, nor my real life contacts from town, nor my so called friends from online ever dropped by.

Somehow I started to truly wonder if I even existed. Surely, no one could be that unimportant to everybody, could they?

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

Over a year had passed.

It was a hot day in August and I hid from the seething heat. My apartment was a little cooler than the outside, making me rarely leave the house for the past weeks. Here and there I had gotten back to playing Pokémon with the guys in town. No one even asked where I had been, and it was clear that I didn't belong. Never had.

Still I laughed at their jokes, kept up my social mask, was kind and lent a hand whenever needed. There seldom was a thanks, and never did anyone help me in return. No surprise. That's just how humans operate. That much I had learned.

But it was still better than being completely alone, right?

Or was it?

-----------------oOo.oOo.oOo-----------------​

I glared at the ticket in my hand. A train ride to Scotland's highest north. There wasn't much I would take with me. What for?

As I took out my favourite hoodie from the wardrobe, something clattered to the ground, came to a slithering halt in front of my feet.

The small hand gun.

Numbly I picked it up and tossed it back inside. So often I had contemplated using it, but what use was revenge? It wouldn't make undone the damage she had done to my life. It wouldn't turn me into a proper human being, one that was accepted among their own kind. It would do nothing. Sure, my Dad and little sister would have a much better life. But if they were too weak to defend themselves, why was I supposed to do the dirty work?

The ride was calm, the weather hot. People were visibly unnerved by it, acting even harsher towards each other than usually. Not seldom was I roughly pushed out of the way or bumped into. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but something about me seems to make people just overlook me all the time.

I'd be a great spy!

The train station was full, busy, but no one took notice of me, no one apologized for running me over. One old lady even scolded me after she had run her rollator into my ankles. I simply ignored her and trudged towards the exit.

It was still early afternoon, my backpack light, the way long. Walking was always nice, calming, in a way. The only thing I was still able to enjoy. What else was left? Without a goal, without a task, without anyone to care about, and no one who cared about me...

All I could do was to go on, to walk, to move. On and on and on. Like one of those undead from one of my video games, cursed to always reappear, no matter how often they were defeated, unable to die, unable to stop. All they could do was to move on. Or to go insane.

And I wanted neither of those options.

It had been a dream, I realized, birds singing in the trees around me. There had never been such a thing as aliens. The sky wore a pale blue, not a single cloud tainting the colour. A reverie. One of many. My mind was so good at creating those, at vanishing deep within stories it had woven together on its own. From the earliest days of my childhood I had done this. Deeming the fantasy a much better place than the cold reality around.

So many months had passed. The gun? The money? I had no idea where they came from, but there surely was an explanation. There had to be one. I probably had gotten drunk, had even robbed someone. Which would explain the gun, honestly. And why shouldn't I? Life had never been kind to me, neither had humans. I owed them nothing.

The path was narrow, evening drew close. Good thing there was the internet. It had been astonishingly easy to find a good spot. Somewhere in the wilds, where people seldom went. Somewhere near the sea, close to the forest still.

The animals around these parts were shy and careful, ran away as soon as they spotted me. It still was nice to get a quick glance at a few. Rare sights. There wasn't a path any longer, but it wasn't far now.

Eventually the trees gave way and a scent of salt roughened the air. The soft noise of waves travelled to my ears. And finally I was there. A small patch of grey sand, moss covered rocks, the bluest blue of the ocean right in front of me.

For the first time in months I actually smiled. What a beautiful sight.

As the sun set over the water, I got out a few things I would need to start a fire and have diner. Just some canned food. I knew, after the long walk I wouldn't have energy left to actually fish. Not that I had any clue how to do that properly.

The black velvet curtain of night drew close, wrapped itself over the world. One by one the stars appeared, guiding lights in the never ending bleakness of existence. I lay on my back, not minding the sand, and glared up at the tiny dots above me. Waves caressed the shore, flames danced in the doldrums. My hand brushed a tiny object in the chest pocket of the thin jacket I had put on.

I tapped against it, wondering what it might be. The button was missing. Carefully I opened the flap and fished out the object, my eyes widening at the unexpected sight.

It was a tiny glass bottle, filled with countless floating lights, like fireflies. The creatures the Doctor had caught for me, as a souvenir, a memory, a confirmation that everything had been truly real.

I shot up to my feet and glared at the bottle in my fingers. Then I wound up and threw it wide away into the waves, crashing to my knees with a sob.

It had been real.

And I had truly been left behind.

 

[TardisGhost]

A/N: So, I guess this is the really dark dark part, now (Very non-explicit I hope). I'm actually a little anxious to post this... welp!

Part III - (II)​

It wouldn't be my life if it wouldn't give me one final blow below the belt line. To be reminded that it all had been real, that I was, indeed all alone in the universe... But maybe it wasn't so bad, after all, solidifying my decision to put an end to this.

One last gaze turned upwards to the sky and the glistening stars within its depth, taunting me with their unreachable radiance that lay within eternity.

I returned to the warming fire, sat next to it in a comfortable position and got out the small razor blade from my bag. The thin metal weighed heavy between my fingers, it's meaning and purpose supposed to fill me with dread, but instead I felt utterly calm as I lowered it to my wrist, as if I were merely a wave in the ocean, a leave on the branch of a nearby tree, the fleeting thought of a child's dream, forgotten by the last retreating strands of night.

When I was done I tossed the blade into the flames, staring up at the sky once again, still calm and weirdly relaxed, just waiting for the world to stop.

Despite my previous outburst I neither felt a sense of despair, nor did I feel lost. It had been a cold, carefully calculated decision to come here. Now my ears filled with the soft mix of nature, water gently caressing the shore, the fire crackling soothingly. I actually felt warm and comfortable in this very moment, wishing I could simply freeze it in time. But that wasn't possible. Sooner than later it would end and the coldness would return with nothing to dispel it from my soul ever again.

"My, what are you stupid," came a sarcastic voice from behind.

My head snapped around, confused, shocked. Into my line of sight - clad in black pants, a dark red dress shirt and a black waistcoat over it - stepped no one else than the Master, sand crunching under his boots, the sound tearing into my calming world.

"Wha... how?" I brought out dumbfounded. This was a completely secluded area, kilometres away from civilisation.

"Ah, I have my ways." With a grin he tapped against a device on a wide strap on his wrist and squatted down in front of me. His eyes wandered over my face, down to my wrists. Almost gently he took them into his hands, studying the cuts. I still was too perplex to properly react and didn't fight it. "Sloppy work," he murmured. "Like that it will take quite some time."

I sighed wearily. "That's the point. Wanted to watch the stars for a bit longer." My eyes locked with his. It was so hard to believe that he was actually here. Or was it a dream? Was I already gone? It didn't matter anymore, the decision was made. I tried to tear my hands away from him, but he held tight. So I only scowled and muttered, "You came too late."

The Master raised a brow, then cracked a mean smile. "No, I'm already here for exactly twenty-two minutes and thirteen seconds." The smile widened, showed a weirdly fascinating cruelty. "Bet you want to know why I didn't stop you."

Did I? Right now nothing bothered me anymore. I only rolled my eyes, tired of any games. But I just couldn't help it. "Oh, I'm dying to hear your reasons."

His face dropped at the bad pun, which actually forced an involuntary smile onto my own lips. Where did that come from?

"You're bleeding out and you joke about it!" he exclaimed."Are you serious?"

I nodded with a stern face. "Dead serious." It was no help, the giggle simply escaped me at his sight. "What? Don't look so annoyed. No one ever said I have to go with a grumpy face."

Finally he snorted, the nasty grin returning to his lips. He slid his thumb over one of the cuts and licked the blood from it. Oh great, I thought, a vampire too? "Your iron levels are a bit low," he remarked, as if that were the most important thing right now. Probably just to boast about his abilities.

"Well..." again I tried to get my hands free, and this time he let go, "Guess it won't kill me."

What followed was a disbelieving glare, then the Master burst out into a laugh that was so contagious that it let one bubble up from within my own chest. For some reason I enjoyed that I could make him laugh like that, even if it was about my own end. But it was a genuine laugh, no masks, no pretending. It seemed to me as if he hadn't laughed like that for a very long time, didn't have a reason for it. There was just too much pain in his eyes.

How could he endure all of it?

Finally, though, the nasty grin returned, the flicker of cruelty, telling how much he enjoyed his next words. "I was curious if you'd really do it, if you had it in you." He tapped against my head. "However stupid it might be. Satisfied?"

I huffed and glanced away, but confessed, "No regrets here. It just... well... the cuts hurt. Lot more than I thought they would."

"Idiot, what did you expect?" He poked out his tongue, but then his face took on a weird seriousness. The Master dropped from his haunches to his knees and stretched his hands out to grab my head, thumbs pressing against my temples. "I can't make the pain vanish," he told as I instinctively tried to back way. He wouldn't let me, though, and stayed like that for a few second. "Here... you shouldn't feel it consciously anymore."

Perplex I blinked up at him as he retreated from me. Indeed, I didn't feel any pain anymore and sighed deeply. Breathing got a little harder now, my head started to feel dizzy, but still I was conscious enough to wonder. So he could use his mind controls skills for something like that too. Interesting.

The Master moved and sat right next to me, hands folded around his bent knees, his eyes fixated on the sky above, reflecting the many stars in their hazel depths.

Somewhere in my fading awareness appeared the thought that I had no clue who he actually was. The few snippet I had gathered weren't even remotely enough to tell. And why was he here, now?

I glanced down.

Drip, drip, drip.

What a fine mess I created there. Good thing no one would have to tidy up after me. It was almost hypnotic to watch, with nothing but the crackling fire and the calm waves in the background.

"Want me to save you?"

His mocking voice made me look up again, realizing my sight to be a little blurred by now. My heart beat almost frantically in my chest, trying to compensate. But nothing hurt. Neither my body, nor my mind. There were only the two of us, sharing the calm, the soothing noises around, the soft wind.

For maybe the first time in my life I actually felt completely peaceful. And so I shook my head.

"No. Don't you dare." I smiled bitterly. "That would be cruel."

The Master raised a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. "Why?" And when he got only a confused blink as an answer, he elaborated, "Why do you just give up?"

I laughed. Or at least tried to, but only brought out a noiseless chuckle. The dizziness got stronger, made me sway. I leaned sideways, dropped my head against his shoulder, uncaring about if he would let me. But there was no resistance, and so I stayed like this, trying to breath, feeling my heart pounding.

"'m not giving up," I mumbled drowsily. "'s just so useless. I don't want to go on anymore. Done it long enough, always hoped I would find a place to belong, somewhere. Be important. To someone. Anyone. If only for a single person." I took some deep breaths, trying to keep the shivers at bay that ran down my body. It was so incredibly cold, despite the temperatures and the fire. "Have no place to go, no purpose. No one cares." My eyes closed, my voice getting almost nothing but a whisper. "'m just so tired, Master."

He was silent for a moment, his next words barely reaching my ears, "Little dying light, fading ember of midnight skies."

I turned my head to meet his gaze, finding a weird look of sadness in it. He smiled at my confused sight.

"A line from an old children's rhyme from... home." The last word was almost whispered, bearing the pain from a not yet healed wound. "I should leave now. Let you sleep."

I sensed from him the same loneliness I had gotten so used to, seeping through the last threads of awareness my mind had left over. I lowered my head, sighed. Huddled a little closer.

"Can you... stay?" I brought out, realizing I was shivering from the cold. "Just until... I... don't want to die alone." Another shiver went through me, my lips quivering. "It... it's gotten so cold..."

"Your body stops functioning," he explained softly, but still with an edge of teasing in his voice. "You really should have looked up what that would do to you." The Master chuckled as if it were the most hilarious thing.

Then he moved, and I was certain he would just leave me here. Even though I hadn't awaited company I now felt a cold sting of sadness in my chest, shivered some more. Maybe he could take the cold away from me as he had done with the pain? The thought was in my mind, but never left my lips.

Instead of away, however, he slid behind me, his arms wrapping firmly around my middle to pull me against his chest. At every other moment it would have startled, maybe even frightened me. But soon the warmth of his body seeped into my bones and melted away all loneliness in my mind. Had I ever been held like that? The cold wouldn't vanish entirely, but soon ceased enough to make me sigh content, too tired to think much more.

The Master snorted. "Of all people to keep you company you pick the worst one."

I shook my head, slow and carefully, my blurring sight only getting worse from it. "Not true. You're staying with me. You don't force me to live on. That's a kind thing to do." For so long I had pondered about it. Why it had been that I had felt so comfortable with him during that long hours in the train. Even after he had threatened my life. Only as way too many weeks and months had gone bye I realized it, what it had been. What I had felt. "You have a warm heart," I whispered.

This time it was a loud laugh, its vibration running through my numbing body like a wave, momentarily shaking me awake once more. "You really are a weird one," he stated amused and carefully rested his chin on top of my head.

It made me smile tiredly. There was no energy left in me to explain. And he wouldn't have listened, anyway. So I sunk together a little more, only through a hazy fog noticing that his heartbeat in my back felt strange. But there was warmth, I was held securely. It wasn't lonely, it wasn't cold. The stars shone bright, each a dream in the waking world, dropping their light into the calm, black waves that lulled me into the last slumber. The dancing sparks of dying flames carried away a story that would never be told. Maybe he would remember. For a while. It didn't matter any longer. I smiled, sighed with a rattling breath and finally let go, allowed my mind to slip away into the welcoming darkness.

Crackling fire, murmuring sea, whistling trees under the singing stars. And a voice, deep and quiet, almost sad. The last thing I heard before the coat of darkness overtook me at last.

"I am not a kind man, little light."

 

[ptbptb]

"I am not a kind man, little light."

Click to shrink...

He's going to drag her back, isn't he?

As someone who's brushed with depression in the past, I have some sympathy for her stance. What, IMO, makes suicide bad is primarily the hurt it will cause to those left behind. Depression is a selfish thing, the more depressed you are the less that bothers you. I never attempted suicide because I couldn't do that to my parents and sister, but who knows what would have happened if my depression had been even deeper.

If she really has no-one that cares for her and feels useless is it right for the Master to heal her (assuming that happens)? However, I think that the Master does care for her on some level, as terrible as he is about showing it, so on that level he does have the right to save her. Assuming he actually lets on about his feelings.

In contrast, I think I would be somewhat pissed if the Doctor arrived at the last moment to save the day. In this story, the Doctor may be 'good' and the Master 'evil', but the Doctor just doesn't listen and the Master does.