Sitting down and given a chance to think for the first time in weeks, Rolden had finally come to a conclusion. He was afraid of the mists that swelled up around the lake, a gentle milky fog just pale enough to see through, lit by the lantern perched atop the rafts mast. It seemed to glow, given a life of its own by the light of the moon. It gave it a definition, a texture, which it otherwise wouldn't possess.
The mist seemed to curl around the oars of the helmsman's boat, as though stroking the oars as gently as they stroked the water, barely making a noise and causing only the tiniest of ripples. Simple background noise, it nonetheless managed to soothe Rolden's nerves. A nice distraction, to stop him from thinking of how it seemed like the mist wasn't just limited to the oars, but also to the black-robed helmsman and Rolden himself.
In fact, Rolden swore he could feel it breathing down his neck. He had to tell himself that it wasn't alive, not about to try to rip the boat apart or capsize it. He knew there was no creature behind him, that there was nothing hovering just outside the lanterns light with silent wings and sharp talons.
No, the real danger laid beneath the water, glowing a deep shade of green and always reflecting the moon.
Nonetheless, Rolden decided to allow himself this one foolish paranoia. He had seen so many wonderful, magical things; it did wonders to his mind to think that having seen what he had on his three month long journey, the mists that had scared him the first time he sat in this boat could still intimidate him so. He felt it…. Humanizing, per say. He could put it behind himself at any moment, for all he feared was a lie of his own making. Besides that, if anything were lurking in the mists, the Keepers would have told him of it or captured it a long time ago.
…Wouldn't they?
Rolden shook his head, trying to banish such thoughts from his head. 'Traitorous mind!" He cursed to himself. The Helmsman looked at him, guffawing and coughing at the same time.
"The mists in your head again, boy?" He asked, staring straight into Rolden's eyes through his blindfold. Rolden didn't understand how he did it, but the Helmsman could see the world around him with the utmost precision, guiding the boat to its destination through the mist no matter what obstacle came to into his path. Unfortunately, those obstacles sometimes included Rolden and whatever other passengers were on his boat – because no matter what the older Keepers claimed, it was the Helmsman's boat and not theirs.
Sometimes, Rolden wasn't sure who came first.
"It has, yes." Rolden sighed. He reached out with his hand, towards the moon. the mist seemed to curl within his hand as he swirled it around, careful not to let his hands stray too close to the boat's edge. "It's the oddest thing, totally irrational, yet I keep trying to rationalize it. I can explain why I feel so on the edge because of the fog, even though I know I shouldn't. I even think it's healthy, even though I don't want to feel so afraid. Does any of that make even a lick of sense? To try and maintain something so pointless even though I know what's sleeping below us?" Rolden asked, watching as the mist seemed to ball up for a moment. Like it itself was an eye, looking at him for a brief moment before dispersing.
"Well, boy." The Helmsman replied after a moment." I think it's a common thing, to try to do what you're doing. You see it quite often with you younger Keepers, especially the ones who've recently experienced what you must've. You try to rationalize everything, to explain it and understand it so that you can use it to understand more. What you're doing is trying to understand something that you would dismiss if someone else brought it to you, tell them to grow up. It happens to pretty much everybody, at some point or another; they hold onto a fear that their mind tells them they just shouldn't have."
"Hm." Rolden hummed. "That… makes sense, yes. I can see why there are some who would do that. It just… doesn't feel like what I'm doing."
"Ah, you foolish boy!" Jested the Helmsman; or in the least Rolden hoped it was a jest. "Just wait till you loosen up a bit. You may think you've seen plenty to make you afraid, but you haven't seen much worth talking about yet. I'm quite willing to bet even this old man who hasn't gone further than a mile from his boat has seen more than you."
Rolden sat there in thought, thinking of all that he had seen. Thinking of the long nights, the short but tense moments on the road accompanied by friends or mercenaries, trying to write everything down before it faded from his mind. After a moment's hesitation, he looked away from his palms and towards the Helmsman. "…What do you fear, then?"
"Same thing as most keepers, I suppose." The Helmsman replied, turning his head a bit to glance behind him.
"What would that be?" Rolden leaned forward, curious.
"Now where would the fun be in telling?" The Helmsman asked Rolden. "We're here, by the way." He said, gently standing up. It was the swiftest Rolden had seen someone so old move, and the boat had barely jostled; in fact, Rolden was certain that it had only moved because he had been startled by the Helmsman.
"We're here? When did we…" Rolden trailed off, staring at the large stone docks that trailed into the mist. The light of torches could be seen in the distance, marking the entrance to the familiar Keeper's Halls front door.
"Oh, a while ago. You didn't even notice I stopped rowing." The Helmsman told Rolden, helping him to his feet. Rolden slung his bag over his shoulder, peaking inside to ensure that the stitching at the bottom hadn't broken again. Satisfied he wasn't leaving behind any valuables, Rolden carefully began to step onto the stone docks. It felt almost nostalgic, by this point. How long ago had he last done this? Four, maybe five, years prior?
"Careful now." The Helmsman warned Rolden as he slipped a bit, clambering onto the docks. "Don't want to wake our friends down below, do we?" He asked, gesturing to the image of the moon on the glassy surface of the lake.
"No, we don't." Rolden replied. "But you never told me. What is it you fear? "
"Here I was, thinking all you Keepers enjoyed a good mystery." The Helmsman told him, sitting back down. "I won't tell you yet, boy. I've given you more than a few hints, though. Give it a good think and get back to me, eh?" The Helmsman pushed off the stone ledge of the docks, just enough to make the boat begin to turn. Already he was rowing into the mist, its touch hiding him like it was a blanket.
"Goodbye, then." Rolden called, wincing as it echoed through the mists. The Helmsman was already gone, he and his boat just a distant light in the mist-ridden distance. Despite that, Rolden swore he saw the man wave as he walked down the docks, the small gates of his home and school greeting him once again.