Ships in the Night (Madoka Magica)

[0th Law]

Madoka's eyes snapped open, and her breath came hard and fast. A grimace made its way onto her face as she remembered the series of events that had led to her needing to return. She'd been so close, but she'd still failed.

No matter what she did, she always failed.

It was at that moment that one of her many plushies became unbalanced, before falling on top of her face. It was the same plushie every time. The first one she'd gotten, if she remembered correctly. Not that she even remembered its name at this point, of course.

She put her hand under the stuffed animal and flung it across the room, perhaps a bit too hard, briefly enjoying having fresh and undamaged limbs once more.

Small mercies.

Now, technically, the next part of her morning routine was to go and wake up her mom, but her routine for this particular morning…

Opening her closet, she took out some of the boxes from the move that the family hadn't recycled yet, and proceeded to put her plushies back in. All of them. One by one. When she finished, she shoved the boxes back into her closet.

It left her shelves and bed relatively bare, but that was how she liked them these days. Fewer things to distract her from what actually mattered.

From there, she went about the "regular" routine. She greeted her dad, who was working watering the grape tomato seeds. If he'd had his way, he'd have taken his entire garden back over, but that would have been… a tad infeasible, so he'd settled for bringing seeds along with him. After "discovering" that her mom still hadn't woken up (and that Tatsuya was working on it), she made her way over to her parents' bedroom and unceremoniously opened the curtains, before getting Tatsuya off the bed in order to rip the comforter off of her mom.

Once, she'd done that whole thing so much more energetically. Once, they had been part of what kept her sane and grounded. Now, she could barely bring herself to care about… a lot of things, really, but especially these much less important routines. Frankly, she'd rather be taking care of the Incubator and healing Homura-chan, but experience had taught her that if she decided to forgo this in favor of the things that mattered long-term, people would get suspicious and make her much less able to accomplish any of her goals. Unless she managed to sneak into Homura-chan's hospital room at this hour without being caught, of course, but that was… decidedly infeasible, at least for now.

On the bright side, Homura-chan had never contracted this early. There was a first time for everything, yes, but it wasn't worth it to worry about hypotheticals. She'd deal with things if and when they actually became relevant, just as she always had, just as she always would.

At least until she actually won. It'd happen. She was sure of it.

Following her mom's awakening, she began to actually get ready for the day, same like she did every morning. She cleaned up, endured her mom's questions about the change in hairstyle — yes, her hair wasn't quite long enough for a decently-sized braid, but she liked the style, and it still worked — got dressed, and went to have breakfast with everyone else. Her mom left early for work, as was typical, and since Madoka wasn't scheduled to be at Mitakihara Middle School for another week, she didn't follow immediately afterwards.

When her dad asked if she was okay, she thankfully managed to avoid breaking down or snapping back, and instead gave a nice, blithe, normal response. Really, it was the first day that was always the hardest, with wounds that were still fresh and nothing that could be done immediately, despite there being so much to do.

Of course, there were still chores to be done, and she "needed" to brush up on her Japanese, but the former didn't take much time at all, and the latter, well….

She was pretty sure she had enough practice.

==*==​

It was moderately late at night when she was finally sure that she had a chance to actually get out and get her work done.

Transforming, she opened her window and jumped out, letting the cool night air wash over her. In a motion that had become second nature at this point, she raised her weapon — in its staff mode, naturally — above her shoulder as if it were a javelin. She focused on the horizon, in the direction she knew Homura-chan's hospital room was, and gazed beyond it.

Her vision, instead of showing what her eyes saw, began to show her where her staff would land if she threw it. After a brief moment of readjustment, she was ready. The staff left her hand at speeds that would rival a bullet, streaking far across the sky, before falling right atop the hospital building.

Of course, Madoka hadn't seen any of that. She'd disappeared the moment her staff left her hands, and only reappeared the moment it hit the roof. She reached out with her senses for Homura-chan, and…

Oh no.

She rushed to the window she'd gone through so many times, and, using magic to unlock it, pulled it up. And there she saw her there, lying peacefully in her hospital bed. Her braids were out, which was strange — for all the time that Madoka had known her, she'd only taken them out while showering, really. Of course, that wasn't the most concerning part.

On Homura-chan's hand, she wore a ring and had a mark on her fingernail. Signs Madoka would always recognize in an instant. Homura-chan was a magical girl.

Holding back the wave of tears, Madoka got up off her knees (when had she fallen?) and walked over to her very best friend. This loop was lost already, but that didn't mean she could just leave Homura-chan, or not help her. She'd stick with her. Until the very end.

Relevantly for future loops, she didn't know what Homura-chan had wished for this time. Yes, a wish to cure herself was the most likely, but on the off-chance that she hadn't, Madoka would still try to heal her. (She was already plotting out ways that she could try and cure Homura-chan earlier in the day, or perhaps even just ward off the Incubator).

And so, Madoka placed her hand on her best friend's chest, and began to channel magic into-

Homura-chan bolted awake and sat up, transforming almost immediately. And then, after she seemed to get her bearings, her face fell. The two magical girls met each other's eyes.

Madoka knew that expression, that amalgamation of frustration, grief, and pure exhaustion. She knew those eyes, dead to the whole world with the exception of but one person. She knew them all too well, but they were on the wrong person.

They were what Madoka saw every time she looked in the mirror.

 

[0th Law]

"Madoka?"

That one question, one word, spoken by Homura-chan in a confused, halting manner, did more to confirm Madoka's suspicions than anything else ever could.

Homura-chan knew her name.

Homura-chan was a magical girl.

Homura-chan had an all-too-familiar expression on her face.

Somehow, Homura-chan had ended up doing what she had done. It was the only explanation. But at the same time…

Just how? Every time, every loop, she had seen Homura-chan die or turn into a witch. How could….

A twisted logic made itself apparent to her: since most, if not all loops had minor differences between one another, it was possible that they weren't in the same universe. Furthermore, the fact that she had met a Homura-chan like her….

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. No, that wasn't important right now. The thing that mattered, the only thing that mattered was Homura-chan, and she needed to give her an answer.

"Looks like we both failed this time, Homura-chan." She gave a sad smile. Of course, she didn't want to believe her intuition here, but… well, if Homura-chan didn't understand what she meant, then maybe her worst fear could be proven wrong.

Of course, she couldn't be so lucky. Luck, she had found, was fickle at best, and sadistic at worst. Most of the time, it was just cruel.

Homura-chan reached for her shield, and… flickered, slightly. To a human, it might've not seemed like much, but to Madoka, it was plain as day. It was only after she registered the stutter that she noticed the more relevant pieces of information: Homura-chan's eyes were red and her face was wet, along with her sheets.

Unfair.

The thought arose in Madoka's consciousness unbidden, and she shoved it aside with all the force she could muster. She would let Homura-chan deal with her emotions in her own way, but something told her that even this new Homura-chan would want to be… closer, when she did that.

So, partially out of pity, partially out of her own need to get out her emotions, she threw her arms around Homura-chan.

The embrace was reciprocated, and they just sat there for a time, crying. For ones such as them, words would be little more than distractions, after all.

==*==​

Madoka strode through the halls of the hospital to the room of the other person she'd taken to healing early every timeline. After Homura-chan, of course. Always after the girl she was holding hands with that very moment.

On some level, some selfish, worthless part of her was overjoyed at this development: she finally had someone who could actually understand her, and it was Homura-chan, no less. It had grown… difficult to connect to her, difficult for them to understand each other as of late, so being on the same page once again after so long… well, it was indescribable. Not only that, but this Homura-chan finally spoke to her familiarly, which had only really happened once or twice early on, but never to this extent.

Of course, Madoka did her best to push the part of her as far back as possible. It was not right to feel happy about this, because it was the direct result of another's suffering. Homura-chan's, at that. She wasn't a good person, but even she needed to maintain some standard of decency.

If she was a good person, she wouldn't just heal Kamijou-kun and Homura-chan, she'd heal most, if not all of the people in this hospital. She wanted to do that, but every bit of power was precious, and she couldn't afford to go around and make herself useful by saving everyone there. Besides, once she finally won, she'd be able to do that with impunity, so from a certain perspective, not healing them was the best way to save them.

There was a reason she never took the time to actually look into what the other people here were suffering from.

Perhaps sensing her turmoil, perhaps wanting to reassure her… or herself, Homura-chan gave Madoka's hand a quick squeeze, which Madoka reciprocated, turning her head to smile weakly.

She wanted to pull the girl closer, but, as before, that would be taking pleasure in Homura-chan's suffering, which was something she could not allow herself to do. So she maintained her distance, no matter how much it hurt.

Thankfully, she was able to put those thoughts mostly behind her as the two of them entered Kamijou-kun's room, and Madoka began the healing process. Apparently this wasn't part of Homura-chan's routine, but it wasn't Madoka's place to judge why she didn't. After all, the only reason Madoka started doing it was because Sayaka-chan had begun to contract after the first couple loops, followed by Hitomi-chan somewhat later.

And since Madoka wasn't a good person, that was the only reason why she healed the boy.

Eventually, she finished, and decided to have her first real conversation with this version of the person that mattered more to her than her own worthless self.

…But it was only a decision. When she opened her mouth, no words came out. When she searched her mind for things to say, she drew a blank. On some level, she knew that both of them needed to talk to each other about matters beyond the mere practical, yet at the same time, it felt like too… indulgent of an idea for Madoka.

"You're still doing it, aren't you?" Homura-chan suddenly spoke up. "Blaming everything on yourself, thinking you're worthless or a coward for not doing more."

"I…." Madoka almost tried to play it down, give a white lie, but stopped. Of course Homura-chan would recognize it, given how well they both knew each other at this point. "You know what I've done, how I've failed. Thinking anything else would just be delusional."

"No." Homura-chan said firmly. "Nobody can criticize anything you've done. Nobody can say you're useless, or cowardly, or foolish, or anything else of the sort. I won't allow it."

At that moment, struggling whether to justify her self-image or try and get Homura-chan to apply the same mindset to herself, Madoka instead said nothing, and gave a nod of acknowledgment that she knew Homura-chan would interpret as affirmation.

So she was a liar now, too.

 

[King Washington]

So this raises the question, what's going on with the build up of karmic potential given both Homura and Madoka are magical girls here?

 

[Baughn]

Welp. You know, this would be a good time for them to cut their losses. Surviving as a magical girl shouldn't be impossible, especially for these two.

 

[pressea]

This done? That looks like an ending to me. I liked it.

 

[0th Law]

So this raises the question, what's going on with the build up of karmic potential given both Homura and Madoka are magical girls here?

Click to shrink...

While Kreimheld Gretchen is what normally comes to mind when we think of a "world-burner," one must remember that Homulily, the Witch of the Mortal World, also is one. Homura's potential was enhanced just as Madoka's was. It's just that Homura was already a Magical Girl.

Welp. You know, this would be a good time for them to cut their losses. Surviving as a magical girl shouldn't be impossible, especially for these two.

Click to shrink...

It would be a good time, yes.

Not that either of these kids would, of course.

This done? That looks like an ending to me. I liked it.

Click to shrink...

Nah, not even close. We haven't even gotten to see Cooldoka and Coolmura acting like an old married couple, or Hitomi falling for at least one of them.

 

[0th Law]

On the walk back to her hospital room, Homura walked side-by-side with Madoka. She would lead, but she didn't want to take her eyes off of Madoka. She would have Madoka lead, but then she wouldn't be able to see her face, making it much harder to nip any… negative thoughts of hers in the bud.

She would protect Madoka, even if it was from herself.

Yet even as she knew Madoka, Madoka knew her. Both of them recognized, on some level, how far the other had gone for them, and so would be… less willing to take words of affirmation at face value from an ostensibly biased source.

Of course, since everything was for Madoka's sake, Homura would… try to listen to her, at least as far as it would help Madoka. But Homura herself? She didn't need her view of herself improved: she was fine, as long as she could protect her.

She had to be. It was even fine if Madoka came to hate her. It always hurt, when she had to trample over others' hearts, but it was necessary. Anything for the one thing she had left to guide her.

However, with all that in mind… Homura couldn't be the only one working to protect Madoka.

"Shizuki Hitomi and Miki Sayaka." She half-realized, half-mentioned. "When are we going to meet with them?"

Madoka paused in her stride, before shaking her head. "I'll be meeting with the two of them the day after tomorrow… or technically just tomorrow if it's past midnight right now. I can't introduce you to them until we transfer in; otherwise, I wouldn't have a good explanation, and… I think you know the rest."

Homura nodded. Revealing her origins early on had, after the first couple loops, tended to lead to things going incredibly wrong. Typically with her being disbelieved and thus turning her into even more of a pariah to the others. The only one who tended to take it in a… productive manner was Kyouko, but she'd always been one of the most practical of them, anyway.

"That does remind me of something, though." Madoka continued. "What sort of jewelry would be the most comfortable for you?"

Homura blinked at the non-sequitur. Was Madoka going to— she couldn't imagine the exact reason why Madoka would be giving her a piece of jewelry. She'd accept it, of course, given that there was no reason to not be close to Madoka this loop. After all, unless Madoka had the exact same magic as her, which she didn't think was likely, it wasn't like Madoka could get herself into danger before Homura could finish battles, and it wasn't as if there was anything about her that Madoka didn't know or could at least infer. And thus….

"A ring, I suppose." Homura replied. After all, she did have her Soul Gem in ring form most of the time. "Although, why do you ask, exactly?"

By way of response, Madoka held out her hand to Homura, and produced a brown, almost brambly ring, with a crystalline rose design in place of a traditional gem.

Homura took the offered ring and examined it for a moment. It was clearly magical in nature, and if she wasn't mistaken, it was essentially a modification or reshaping of Madoka's bow. It was almost certainly a way for her to at least keep tabs on her, if not outright ensure her safety, which was something Homura was fine with. After all, the alternative to that would almost certainly involve Madoka putting herself in unnecessary danger. Homura, after some momentary consideration, put it on her ring finger on her left hand. After all, that was where rings were supposed to go, right? Plus, it was right next to her Soul Gem ring, so it would be more… visually consistent, so to speak.

Homura then looked back at Madoka, whose eyes were now locked onto the ring that she'd just given her, an incredibly apparent blush on her face, showing even despite the low light conditions. Homura tilted her head, hoping Madoka would notice her questioning look, but her only friend clearly didn't see it, still focused on the ring.

This became a problem before Homura had the chance to actually address it when, while they were turning to walk into Homura's room, Madoka simply walked into the wall instead, which thankfully seemed to snap her out of it. Or at least that was Homura's impression of Madoka actually taking her eyes off of the ring and looking around.

"Madoka, what's wrong?" Homura asked, frowning in concern.

"What, no! Nothing's wrong." Madoka frantically waved her arms about.

"I can put it on a different finger, if you want. I could even wear it on a necklace or something. Of course, I'd need to-"

"No, really, it's fine!" Madoka insisted. "I just… wasn't expecting you to be so forward."

Homura pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing slightly. "Forward about what, anyway?" Whatever it was, if it was affecting Madoka in this way, it must be rather significant.

"Uh…." Madoka stood there for a solid couple seconds, before snapping into motion. "Yeah sorry gotta go hunt witches if that's fine with you bye!" Saying that, she transformed and, using her bow in staff form as if it was a javelin, threw it out the still-open window.

Homura opened her mouth to respond, to insist that if she had to go hunting, she should at least let Homura come with her, but Madoka had already disappeared.

The unspoken words died on her lips, and she grit her teeth, even as a small part of her began to speculate if that was what Madoka's Magic was here. She put that matter aside for a moment, and considered her next course of action. If she was going to get through to Madoka, she needed support. She knew that Madoka would be meeting with Miki Sayaka and Shizuki Hitomi soon, but there was still a sizable window in which she could meet them first, perhaps. She knew that Miki Sayaka visited that boy with a decent regularity, and in her "home" timelines, sometimes brought Madoka along with her. Given the circumstances, her companion may have been switched.

Regardless, if Miki Sayaka did not visit the hospital today, then Homura would need to find some other way to recruit those two to her cause. Even after 5 years, if she managed to get through to them properly, they'd almost certainly be willing to help her protect Madoka.

Even from herself.

 

[King Washington]

I take it Homura isn't even aware that her feelings for Madoka are more than platonic at this moment?

 

[0th Law]

I take it Homura isn't even aware that her feelings for Madoka are more than platonic at this moment?

Click to shrink...

I'd say that's accurate. Meanwhile, Cooldoka has spent not-insignificant amounts of time with Hitomi.

 

[0th Law]

Hitomi sighed as she waited outside the hospital for Sayaka-san.

It wasn't the waiting that was bothering her. Not really, anyway. She could sit through some of the most elaborate tea ceremonies out there, and she could be patient while her best friend visited her….

Her crush. It was so incredibly obvious that Sayaka-san had a crush on Kamijou-kun that it wasn't even funny.

Of course, there were other reasons she didn't find it funny.

First of all, she found Kamijou-kun very admirable. How dedicated he was, his skill, and his demeanor were all things she found more than a little attractive. Of course, it would be wrong to push those expectations on him, given his current condition, not to mention his preexisting, much stronger friendship with Sayaka-san.

Second of all, naturally, was Sayaka-san herself. Honestly, that girl…. It would be easier on Hitomi if Sayaka-san didn't act the way she did — calling Hitomi her wife and all of that. It was difficult to not get her hopes up, even when she knew it was mostly jokes and games to her. Of course, it wasn't just Sayaka-san's pseudo-flirting, but also how she behaved (and she did behave) when Hitomi was tutoring her. She'd managed to get her from a student at risk of failing to one that consistently was able to make Bs. And those study sessions weren't just Hitomi's excuse to spend more time with her.

…Okay, maybe that was somewhat the case. Still though, she was doing it to help her best friend!

She grit her teeth and shook her head violently, startling a random passerby. She couldn't dwell on this. Jealousy in this situation would just make her a horrible friend.

When she looked up, it turned out that the person she startled had not left. They were a girl, with long, beautiful, silky black hair and intelligent purple eyes. Those eyes were searching and analytical, but Hitomi thought that behind them, she could see hints of kindness and curiosity. Hitomi immediately felt that she could relate to the girl. Whatever mask she was wearing, it was the sort that she herself at least had a decent level of familiarity with.

Except the girl was still looking at her. Why was she looking at her? Was it because Hitomi was looking at her? Was- No. She couldn't make a fool of herself, not in front of this person. "I'm sorry if I startled you." She apologized first. It was a necessary part of any person's etiquette, after all. "Is there any way I can help you?"

The other girl blinked momentarily, undoubtedly searching for the right words, before she spoke with a… rather pleasing cadence. "You are… Shizuki Hitomi, yes?"

Now it was Hitomi's turn to be unsure of how to respond. She didn't exactly expect a complete stranger to know her name, certainly not one that she was almost certain didn't go to Mitakihara.

…Except something about this girl was somewhat familiar. Perhaps….

Ah, she must have seen her once or twice from afar when she was going to the hospital with Sayaka-san. That made sense. Still, it didn't explain how she knew her name. Of course, she couldn't outright ask something so bold, especially when they hadn't even completed introductions.

"Yes, I am Shizuki Hitomi." She finally responded. "And who are you? I'm not sure we've met before."

"I am Akemi Homura." The other girl introduced herself. "And I don't believe we have, no. To be honest, I mainly know of you through a friend of mine from this city, who only recently moved back from America."

It took but a moment for Hitomi to connect the dots. "Madoka-san? You know her? How?" She may have leaned in and spoke… a bit too enthusiastically, but Akemi-san didn't seem to mind.

"On the internet." Akemi-san replied confidently, dragging her fingers through part of her luxurious, pristine hair then flicking it backwards. Thankfully, Hitomi managed to keep an ear on the conversation as the hair-flip happened, so she wasn't completely lost.

"I see." She acknowledged. "Do you know how she's been doing? Sayaka-san and I have had a little contact with her recently, but not that much. Although we are going to be doing a sort of reunion tomorrow."

"I heard." Akemi-san nodded, further confirming that she had been in contact with Madoka-san. Recently, at that. "As for how she is doing…." The other girl trailed off, a worried, and even pained expression making itself apparent through the mask she was wearing.

Hitomi's heart began to sink. That look, one of wounds still fresh, and in the context of Madoka-san? "What's wrong? Do you know what happened? Is there anything I can do to help?" Sure, she hadn't seen Madoka-san for three years, but that didn't mean that she couldn't be worried and concerned for her.

"I…" Akemi-san grimaced, "I know that she's been through a lot, things that I was unable to be there to protect her from. Beyond that, I don't think it's exactly my place to say, at least in terms of what happened." She shook her head slightly, before continuing. "But as for the effect those events have had on her, they've made many of her issues worse. She used to put herself down, consider herself insufficient, and doubt herself in more ways than I can list, but now, it seems that those feelings have… grown. Instead of 'mere' self-doubt, it's transitioned to outright self-hatred. She thinks that she's concealed it, but the way she treats herself now is abundantly clear, and I'm not sure I can help her alone. There are times when I try to be supportive, but she just blows it off. But I suppose that's why you being here was… a boon, if you will."

That raised far more questions than it answered, at least from Hitomi's perspective, but the concern Akemi-san was displaying was real. The worry, and the unspoken request for help, even more so. "I understand." Hitomi nodded seriously. "I'll talk to Sayaka-san about it as well, and we should be able to help you in this matter. Madoka-san is our friend as well, after all." She paused for a moment after that. Should she…? She should. "You're clearly a very good friend of Madoka-san as well. I can tell."

And Hitomi meant it. In a way, Akemi-san was only becoming more wonderful in her eyes. However, Akemi-san's reaction to that assertion completely derailed that train of thought. She looked at her left hand with an indiscernible expression, and muttered something Hitomi couldn't quite catch. But when Hitomi followed her gaze, she saw what Akemi-san was wearing on that hand: a simple ring on her middle finger, a finger that happened to have a unique bit of fingernail paint on it, the same color as Akemi-san's eyes. And on the ring finger, she was wearing a tan ring with a beautiful crystalline rose design on it.

A jeweled ring on her left ring finger. One she looked at when clearly thinking about Madoka-san.

Honestly, was Hitomi only ever attracted to people who already had someone else?

"Oh, one last thing." Akemi-san, mercifully distracting Hitomi from those thoughts. "If someone offers you a miracle, whatever you do, do not trust them. It seems that you have the potential for it too, now."

"What do you-" Hitomi began, but Akemi-san was already walking away, leaving Hitomi feeling so much… smaller than she had before. She turned over those parting words in her head. What had Akemi-san meant by potential? Who would be offering a miracle? How did that relate to everything else that was going on? Why-

"Hi-to-mi!" Sayaka-san enunciated each syllable of Hitomi's name out of nowhere, glomping her from behind, startling her, but ultimately failing to shake her mood. "I have great new- what's wrong?" She quickly switched tracks, clearly noticing Hitomi's mood.

And so, Hitomi explained it all.

 

[Doom_Bringer]

Really nice story 👌

 

[homustan]

This still alive? Would've liked to see more

 

[0th Law]

This still alive? Would've liked to see more

Click to shrink...

I regularly take massive breaks in my writing due to coursework.