Colin Wallis can't be Defiant forever
[Sequel] The Man Outside the Small White Room
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A few things before you start
- Pronouns
- He/Him
This is the sequel to my fic Knight In Grey Armor, which should be read first for this one to make sense.
This story will mainly be about Colin Wallis/Defiant, although a minor canon character will also feature in an important role, and Taylor will appear in a secondary role. The story will focus on dealing with trauma. Scion and the Endbringers will not appear.
The story is complete and entirely pre-written at twenty-nine chapters, and will update daily until completion. Chapter length should not be the subject of discussion, please focus on the story being told.
This story will mainly be about Colin Wallis/Defiant, although a minor canon character will also feature in an important role, and Taylor will appear in a secondary role. The story will focus on dealing with trauma. Scion and the Endbringers will not appear.
The story is complete and entirely pre-written at twenty-nine chapters, and will update daily until completion. Chapter length should not be the subject of discussion, please focus on the story being told.
Conjunction 1.1
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Defiant is methodically checking his Poleaxe for stress fractures, covering the silence with a documentary on deep sea fishes, when Parliament calls.
"Hey," she says, "sorry, I'm not going to be able to come for a while. Or to get groceries. Sorry."
Defiant mutes the documentary.
"Is something wrong?" he asks. "Are you hurt?"
"I, err," Parliament says. "I slipped in the bathtub, and I broke my arm trying to catch myself. I'm fine, honestly, my Dad took me to the hospital, but he doesn't want me going out alone and I can't really sneak out with my arm in a cast, so… I have enough stuff hidden in my room to be active as Parliament, I just can't come at your place. Sorry."
She's not hurt. Or, well, she is, but she's not in danger.
"It's fine," Defiant says
"Hey," she says, "sorry, I'm not going to be able to come for a while. Or to get groceries. Sorry."
Defiant mutes the documentary.
"Is something wrong?" he asks. "Are you hurt?"
"I, err," Parliament says. "I slipped in the bathtub, and I broke my arm trying to catch myself. I'm fine, honestly, my Dad took me to the hospital, but he doesn't want me going out alone and I can't really sneak out with my arm in a cast, so… I have enough stuff hidden in my room to be active as Parliament, I just can't come at your place. Sorry."
She's not hurt. Or, well, she is, but she's not in danger.
"It's fine," Defiant says
punster lv1
Killjoy - cheerful shitposter - ignorant pedant
YseultNott heaping another serving of trauma of Colin's plate, that sounds like the kind of course I crave.
Also I did this thing.
"Hum," Defiant eloquently answers, "what?"
"I got demo–"
"No," he interrupts, "I heard you the first time, I just want to know why you're speaking in narrative terms all of a sudden."
"Oh that," she replies, "that's simply an idiot rudely taking over someone else's storyto try turn me into Deadpool."
"Please rephrase that in a way that makes sense, and who's this Deadpool anyway?"
"Sorry, looks like we're out of words, bye!"
Also I did this thing.
I got demoted to secondary character for this sequel."
"Hum," Defiant eloquently answers, "what?"
"I got demo–"
"No," he interrupts, "I heard you the first time, I just want to know why you're speaking in narrative terms all of a sudden."
"Oh that," she replies, "that's simply an idiot rudely taking over someone else's story
"Please rephrase that in a way that makes sense, and who's this Deadpool anyway?"
"Sorry, looks like we're out of words, bye!"
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You're actually at least 23 short (20 if we count the ones from the quote) - I have a strict minimum of 100 words per chapters
Thank you for commenting, this got a laugh out of me!
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Conjunction 1.2
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's fine, Defiant said.
It's not. Not really.
Defiant fucking hates doing groceries. The intrinsic vulnerability of being surrounded by a crowd without the defense of his armor. The lack of effective weapons. The people around him, and being touched, and feeling their skin burning against his.
He knows it's weird, and stupid, and pathetic, but he had been glad to be able to send Parliament instead, glad to have a few more hours every week where he could almost feel safe.
(He never feels safe. Not really. Not since the Pyre, and the small white room. But almost is better than not at all.)
Defiant is out of food.
It's not. Not really.
Defiant fucking hates doing groceries. The intrinsic vulnerability of being surrounded by a crowd without the defense of his armor. The lack of effective weapons. The people around him, and being touched, and feeling their skin burning against his.
He knows it's weird, and stupid, and pathetic, but he had been glad to be able to send Parliament instead, glad to have a few more hours every week where he could almost feel safe.
(He never feels safe. Not really. Not since the Pyre, and the small white room. But almost is better than not at all.)
Defiant is out of food.
Conjunction 1.3
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The walk to the shop is fine, mostly. Defiant picked one opened all night and waited until two in the morning to minimize the number of customers as much as possible. The summer night is warm and clear, and were it not for the city's lights, he thinks he could see the stars.
He feels naked. Exposed. Vulnerable, and he keeps his hand closed around the hilt of the knife hidden in his pocket.
The shop isn't empty. In addition to the exhausted looking cashier, another man, about Defiant's age, is rifling through the hair product aisle.
Damn.
Defiant checks his grocery list, and decides to start on the side of the shop opposite to the man.
Better safe than sorry.
He feels naked. Exposed. Vulnerable, and he keeps his hand closed around the hilt of the knife hidden in his pocket.
The shop isn't empty. In addition to the exhausted looking cashier, another man, about Defiant's age, is rifling through the hair product aisle.
Damn.
Defiant checks his grocery list, and decides to start on the side of the shop opposite to the man.
Better safe than sorry.
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punster lv1
Killjoy - cheerful shitposter - ignorant pedant
For some reason I expected this story to directly dump new trauma on Colin's (or rather Defiant's as he called himself almost everytime so far (is that exception a typo or intentional by the way? (also I just noticed that he calls Taylor Parliament))) head, but it seems we'll get a few chapters of him dealing with his old trauma first.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The exception was a typo, thanks for pointing it out!
Conjunction 1.4
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The books and magazines are directly beside the checkout, and as the overtired cashier processes his purchases with exasperating slowness, Defiant reads the titles in an attempt to distract himself.
(It's fine. It's fine. It's almost over. Hand on the knife, and don't think about it.)
There aren't many things on the shelves. A few cheap comics marketed for children, TV programs, something promising weight loss tips, two or three bad mystery novels, and a small booklet with a black and red cover.
Entertainment and Propaganda: How What You Read Affects the Way You Think, by Valencia Villanueva.
Unbidden, Defiant has a fond thought for Parliament and her initial attempts to redeem him through the power of books, and he feels, for a brief instant, his lips quirk into a smile.
He checks on the cashiers progress. Barely halfway through. He has time.
Parliament might get bored, trapped in her home with a broken arm.
(It's fine. It's fine. It's almost over. Hand on the knife, and don't think about it.)
There aren't many things on the shelves. A few cheap comics marketed for children, TV programs, something promising weight loss tips, two or three bad mystery novels, and a small booklet with a black and red cover.
Entertainment and Propaganda: How What You Read Affects the Way You Think, by Valencia Villanueva.
Unbidden, Defiant has a fond thought for Parliament and her initial attempts to redeem him through the power of books, and he feels, for a brief instant, his lips quirk into a smile.
He checks on the cashiers progress. Barely halfway through. He has time.
Parliament might get bored, trapped in her home with a broken arm.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/They
*notices armsmaster tag*
*clicks thread*
No, seriously, KiGA was fantastic. It is currently Too Damn Late O'Clock in my time zone, but this is bookmarked for tomorrow and god I can hardly wait.
*clicks thread*
*immediate squeeing*
No, seriously, KiGA was fantastic. It is currently Too Damn Late O'Clock in my time zone, but this is bookmarked for tomorrow and god I can hardly wait.
Conjunction 1.5
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Interesting choice," the other man in the shop says as he puts a bottle of bright pink hair dye beside Defiant's groceries.
He has a cane, and seems to favor his left leg. He's holding his wallet in his free hand, but the lines of his jacket shows a weight in his pocket. A weapon.
Or it could be a phone, or a notebook. Something harmless. Something normal.
"It's not very common for people to buy books on propaganda in the middle of the night," the man continues, and Defiant can't refrain from glancing at the bottle of hair dye.
The man stops smiling.
"It's for my niece," he says quietly. "She had an accident, and… Well. She wants to get some control over the way she looks. Over herself."
This time, when Defiant doesn't answer, the man stays silent.
He has a cane, and seems to favor his left leg. He's holding his wallet in his free hand, but the lines of his jacket shows a weight in his pocket. A weapon.
Or it could be a phone, or a notebook. Something harmless. Something normal.
"It's not very common for people to buy books on propaganda in the middle of the night," the man continues, and Defiant can't refrain from glancing at the bottle of hair dye.
The man stops smiling.
"It's for my niece," he says quietly. "She had an accident, and… Well. She wants to get some control over the way she looks. Over herself."
This time, when Defiant doesn't answer, the man stays silent.
punster lv1
Killjoy - cheerful shitposter - ignorant pedant
It's too bad Defiant doesn't feel comfortable enough to hold conversations outside his armor because having a girl they care for that recently got into an accident is a superficial similarity they could have bonded over.
Interlude 1.x
- Pronouns
- He/Him
When Dimitri gets back to his apartment, the phosphorescent hands of the living room clock inform him it's almost 3 am, and he sighs. He has been having less and less nightmares in the last few years, but he knows from experience that he won't be able to go back to sleep, even if the walk to the shop did clear his head some.
(A hand, enormous, misshapen, grotesque, closing around his leg, squeezing, shattered bones grinding against each others.)
Dimitri turns on the light, and after putting the bottle of hair dye on the table, he gets a quill pen and a roll of Kraft paper out of the chest. After a second of reflection, he also takes a bottle of golden ink.
If he's going to be awake, he might as well prepare the wrapping paper for Anna's gift.
Dimitri covers the Kraft paper with words of encouragement in cursive calligraphy, and there is something soothing in the quiet focus, in the feel of the paper under the quill, in the act of doing something kind for someone he loves.
When the sun comes up in the morning, he feels better.
(A hand, enormous, misshapen, grotesque, closing around his leg, squeezing, shattered bones grinding against each others.)
Dimitri turns on the light, and after putting the bottle of hair dye on the table, he gets a quill pen and a roll of Kraft paper out of the chest. After a second of reflection, he also takes a bottle of golden ink.
If he's going to be awake, he might as well prepare the wrapping paper for Anna's gift.
Dimitri covers the Kraft paper with words of encouragement in cursive calligraphy, and there is something soothing in the quiet focus, in the feel of the paper under the quill, in the act of doing something kind for someone he loves.
When the sun comes up in the morning, he feels better.
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punster lv1
Killjoy - cheerful shitposter - ignorant pedant
I always stay up at night to read stories. He stays awake to escape nightmares but still decides to do something productive while he's at it. I don't like it when fictional character are better people then I am. /s
Butterfly 2.1
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Two days after his trip to the grocery store, Defiant realizes he forgot to get eggs, and has to go back.
It's even worse this time. It's the middle of the day and the store is full of customers, with warm bodies and heavy hands and intentions he has no way of knowing, and Defiant feels naked under the leather of his jacket.
(He can do it. He has done it, many times. It's just a bad time he needs to power through.)
There is a line at the checkout, interminable. Defiant can feel the warmth of the people around him, burning through his clothes like a brand.
(It's just his imagination. It's not real.)
(He's not good.)
Someone gets in the line behind Defiant, holding a cane in his left hand and a grocery bag in his right one.
"Hey!" the man says, "fancy seeing you again, Mister Propaganda!"
It's the man from the grocery store.
It's even worse this time. It's the middle of the day and the store is full of customers, with warm bodies and heavy hands and intentions he has no way of knowing, and Defiant feels naked under the leather of his jacket.
(He can do it. He has done it, many times. It's just a bad time he needs to power through.)
There is a line at the checkout, interminable. Defiant can feel the warmth of the people around him, burning through his clothes like a brand.
(It's just his imagination. It's not real.)
(He's not good.)
Someone gets in the line behind Defiant, holding a cane in his left hand and a grocery bag in his right one.
"Hey!" the man says, "fancy seeing you again, Mister Propaganda!"
It's the man from the grocery store.
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michaelb958
(Verified Michael)
- Location
- Wherever I am, there I am
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Good writing. I'm sitting on the other side of the fourth wall and I can feel Dimitri in my personal space anyway. Although maybe that's just me.
Butterfly 2.2
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Defiant does not like the idea of making idle conversation any more than last time, but this time, the crowd is pressing around him, and the distraction of small talk is better than getting stuck inside his head and spiraling into paranoia.
(Two years ago, someone put their hand on his shoulder while he was buying soap, and he forgot where he was and broke their fingers. He had to skip town after that.)
(He's not planning on leaving Brockton Bay.)
"It wasn't for me," Defiant says. "The book. It was for a girl I'm tutoring. Did you give the hair dye to your niece?"
It's not much, but it's enough encouragement for the other man to start talking about his niece, keeping the conversation going with minimal input from Defiant.
By the time they reach the cashier, Defiant has learned that her favorite color is pink, her favorite animals are unicorns and raccoons, and she has a pet butterfly.
After a moment of hesitation, Defiant gives the man, whose name he's learned is Dimitri, one of his throwaway PHO accounts and the name Colin Knight.
Parliament is almost out of monarchs.
(Two years ago, someone put their hand on his shoulder while he was buying soap, and he forgot where he was and broke their fingers. He had to skip town after that.)
(He's not planning on leaving Brockton Bay.)
"It wasn't for me," Defiant says. "The book. It was for a girl I'm tutoring. Did you give the hair dye to your niece?"
It's not much, but it's enough encouragement for the other man to start talking about his niece, keeping the conversation going with minimal input from Defiant.
By the time they reach the cashier, Defiant has learned that her favorite color is pink, her favorite animals are unicorns and raccoons, and she has a pet butterfly.
After a moment of hesitation, Defiant gives the man, whose name he's learned is Dimitri, one of his throwaway PHO accounts and the name Colin Knight.
Parliament is almost out of monarchs.
punster lv1
Killjoy - cheerful shitposter - ignorant pedant
So this is either Defiant naming himself after Parliament or a non sequitur (I can't tell which). Either way, by giving contact information to Dimitri, he takes another step toward becoming a person outside his armour.
(Would it be right to assume the reason he doesn't want to have to leave the Bay is that Parliament is the only person he's connected with since the white room?)
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You're right about him not wanting to leave the Bay because of Parliament, and wrong about him naming himself after her or it being a non-sequitur. He's giving contact information to Dimitri because he wants to set up a better butterfly supply for Parliament. The name "Knight" is just a fake name because "Colin Wallis" is officially dead, not something he's particularly attached to or consider to actually be his name, but it's an homage to Chevalier, who was the first person to ask him for his name after his capture by the Pyre.
Butterfly 2.3
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Three days after Defiant gives the propaganda book to one of Parliament's birds, she calls him.
"Hey," she says. "Sorry for not calling earlier, Colin. Dad has been hovering, I couldn't get away long enough to do it. I finally convinced him I would be fine on my own for a few hours, though, and he went to visit some friends. We've been talking about books and heroes and stuff, and it's pretty nice, so it's not all bad."
"I'm glad to hear that, Taylor," Defiant says. "Have you been reading a lot?"
"Yes!" she answers. "I've done some adjustments on the Birdcatcher, but yes, mostly reading and catching up on sleep. I've started the book you got me, I'm learning a lot!"
"Of course you are," Defiant says, and he's surprised by how fond he sounds, and how much he misses her.
"What about you?" Parliament asks. "I hope you're not bored or anything, alone in your base."
"I'm fine," Defiant says and, because he knows it will reassure her, he adds, "I've been talking to someone about some random stuff. Butterflies, family, hair dye… Stuff like that."
He's not being entirely honest. He got used to Parliament, to having her around, to her chatter of book and heroism and the sounds from her workshop, to her picking food from his fridge, and the building feels strange without her, echoing and empty, but there is genuine happiness in her voice when she congratulates him, and when Defiant hangs up the phone, he does feel a little bit better.
"Hey," she says. "Sorry for not calling earlier, Colin. Dad has been hovering, I couldn't get away long enough to do it. I finally convinced him I would be fine on my own for a few hours, though, and he went to visit some friends. We've been talking about books and heroes and stuff, and it's pretty nice, so it's not all bad."
"I'm glad to hear that, Taylor," Defiant says. "Have you been reading a lot?"
"Yes!" she answers. "I've done some adjustments on the Birdcatcher, but yes, mostly reading and catching up on sleep. I've started the book you got me, I'm learning a lot!"
"Of course you are," Defiant says, and he's surprised by how fond he sounds, and how much he misses her.
"What about you?" Parliament asks. "I hope you're not bored or anything, alone in your base."
"I'm fine," Defiant says and, because he knows it will reassure her, he adds, "I've been talking to someone about some random stuff. Butterflies, family, hair dye… Stuff like that."
He's not being entirely honest. He got used to Parliament, to having her around, to her chatter of book and heroism and the sounds from her workshop, to her picking food from his fridge, and the building feels strange without her, echoing and empty, but there is genuine happiness in her voice when she congratulates him, and when Defiant hangs up the phone, he does feel a little bit better.
Butterfly 2.4
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Defiant buys a bunch of butterflies and lets them out in the top floor of his building, doors and windows carefully fitted with mosquito nets and rooms full of flowers. He tinkers and sets up an automatic watering system to limit the time he has to spend caring for them, and for the most part, the butterflies are out of his mind.
Dimitri, however, is very much still there.
It's weird. Defiant didn't expect much when he gave the man a way to contact him and a name that is half fake, half real, and doesn't feel like his at all, didn't want anything more than a few tips and cheap bugs, and yet.
And yet.
Dimitri keeps sending messages, about everything and nothing, keeps talking to him, keeps being strangely present through the computer screen.
(Parliament isn't there, and the building is too big, too empty, too silent under his musics and audio books.)
Defiant finds himself answering.
Dimitri, however, is very much still there.
It's weird. Defiant didn't expect much when he gave the man a way to contact him and a name that is half fake, half real, and doesn't feel like his at all, didn't want anything more than a few tips and cheap bugs, and yet.
And yet.
Dimitri keeps sending messages, about everything and nothing, keeps talking to him, keeps being strangely present through the computer screen.
(Parliament isn't there, and the building is too big, too empty, too silent under his musics and audio books.)
Defiant finds himself answering.
punster lv1
Killjoy - cheerful shitposter - ignorant pedant
Yay!
Also I wonder if Anna was Dimitri's only point of contact before Defiant came into his life. (Well the opposite happened but from Dimitri's perspective there's probably no differences.)
Butterfly 2.5
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Dimitri sends an email to Defiant, asking him if he wants to meet up.
Physically. In person.
(Unarmed, in the open, warm bodies and warm skin and no armor between him and bad memories.)
No. Absolutely not.
This should be the answer, right?
(Parliament isn't back. Parliament isn't back, and the rooms around him are too big, too empty, silence echoing against the walls, and her voice on the phone isn't quite enough to dissipate them.)
Dimitri has a bad leg. If Defiant has a knife, and a few surprises in his pockets, he should be able to take him in a fight.
If they meet somewhere no one goes, late in the night when people are sleeping, and Defiant takes his bike rather than walk, and wears body armor under his jacket, he should be fine.
He will be fine.
Okay, Defiant types, but not somewhere frequented. I don't like people.
He hits send.
Physically. In person.
(Unarmed, in the open, warm bodies and warm skin and no armor between him and bad memories.)
No. Absolutely not.
This should be the answer, right?
(Parliament isn't back. Parliament isn't back, and the rooms around him are too big, too empty, silence echoing against the walls, and her voice on the phone isn't quite enough to dissipate them.)
Dimitri has a bad leg. If Defiant has a knife, and a few surprises in his pockets, he should be able to take him in a fight.
If they meet somewhere no one goes, late in the night when people are sleeping, and Defiant takes his bike rather than walk, and wears body armor under his jacket, he should be fine.
He will be fine.
Okay, Defiant types, but not somewhere frequented. I don't like people.
He hits send.
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punster lv1
Killjoy - cheerful shitposter - ignorant pedant
His preparations are a tad excessive but if they get him to interact with people as not-Defiant¹ I'm going to count that as a win.
¹It's not Colin yet but we're getting there²
²Not we'll get there because there 18 chapters left and I don't trust you Yseult, not at all. /s
¹It's not Colin yet but we're getting there²
²Not we'll get there because there 18 chapters left and I don't trust you Yseult, not at all. /s
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Interlude 2.x
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"…and I'm a bit nervous, of course, but Kayla's parents promised to call me if anything happened, and Anna is very excited to have a sleepover, she didn't have one since her accident," Valeriya concludes, and even though he knows his sister won't see it from the other side of the phone, Dimitri smiles.
"I'm glad to hear that," Dimitri says. "I know Anna was feeling a bit lonely."
Valeriya hums.
"What about you?" she asks. "Do you still have nightmares about… You know. Your leg."
Unbidden, the memories rise to Dimitri's mind. The assault on Coil's base. The men beside him, ready for the fight. Arctic and Coil, falling to the ground at the exact same time as a man turned into a monster, his hand, immense and twisted, closing around Dimitri's leg, the pain of shattered bones, the spray of confoam seconds later, too late to spare his leg.
Yes, Dimitri still has nightmares.
"It was years ago," he says. "I'm fine. Really."
He thinks about Colin, quiet and jumpy in the grocery store, with a dry humor and a cynical streak over PHO, and the message he got accepting to meet.
"Besides," Dimitri adds, "I think I've made a friend."
"I'm glad to hear that," Dimitri says. "I know Anna was feeling a bit lonely."
Valeriya hums.
"What about you?" she asks. "Do you still have nightmares about… You know. Your leg."
Unbidden, the memories rise to Dimitri's mind. The assault on Coil's base. The men beside him, ready for the fight. Arctic and Coil, falling to the ground at the exact same time as a man turned into a monster, his hand, immense and twisted, closing around Dimitri's leg, the pain of shattered bones, the spray of confoam seconds later, too late to spare his leg.
Yes, Dimitri still has nightmares.
"It was years ago," he says. "I'm fine. Really."
He thinks about Colin, quiet and jumpy in the grocery store, with a dry humor and a cynical streak over PHO, and the message he got accepting to meet.
"Besides," Dimitri adds, "I think I've made a friend."