[] Plan H
- [] A girl
- [] Helmine Kraft
- [] Devout catholics, politically liberal
- [] Munich
YOU, Helmine Kraft, are six when you enter school in 1919. You are fourteen when you leave it in 1927. The eight years in between are as formative to you as they are to all your companions, but you only share part of your experiences with the rest.
Living in Munich, you of course live through the chaos of the commune and the bloodletting afterwards. But what most strikes you is the economic uncertainty of the years following, the constant fear for work or food, the inflationary crisis. You are too young to understand why inflation is ultimately a good policy that the people of Germany agree with, that resistance to the occupation of the Rhineland is necessary. You only understand that money has become a plaything, but meat remains scarce.
This hardly helps you grow big and strong, and your fellow girls tease you for it at school. But you are hardly a complete wallflower, and you do find friends. You giggle with them after Sunday Mass and play with them in the afternoons. More often than not, you search them out rather than remain at home, where your parents have grown worse.
It is a sad thing of the time that corporal punishment is normalised and agreed with, even by the most loving parents. But you do not have that luxury. While Hans and Greta both increasingly seem to care for each other as friends and partners, you are an odd one out in the family. You do not know why, as a child, and indeed it is ultimately irrational. As the years pass, and no further children come, labor and expectations are thrust upon you. No warmth comes with them.
With time, you learn better than to rebel. You will snap, or plot, but you are a child. Once you run away, only to be brought back by hunger. You are belted thoroughly for that. You begin to look forward to adulthood, that inner hope of yours never quite dying. Perhaps in part this comes from your parents' ideals.
Much as they are self-evidently worthless to you, the hope of truth and happiness and freedom to live remains ingrained.
When you are ten, you suffer another blow. Having finished grundschule (elementary school), you and your friends are split up. The increasing solidity of political catholicism in Bavaria convinces your parents to send you to a religious school for your advanced studies, one that only some of them come with you to.
There you learn a lot. The first thing you learn is discipline. No matter how much you disliked your past school-teachers, they are amateurs compared to the nuns. Perhaps that is in part due to belief: these women hold their educational mission firmer to their hearts, and live in such cloisters as would terrify you.
Other girls, your fellows, still rebel. They play behind the teachers' backs, daydream, and act out. You do not. Your spirit is ebbing. You have come to wonder if there is really anything more than submission to God and authority both.
As you are learning what is proper for a wife to do, household tasks, and theological matters, your father gets into an accident. He is made lame for months, and you are pulled out of school. The money is needed at home, and so are your arms. You take up odd-jobs, children's jobs, and slave over your ungrateful father when at home. When you return to school, your friends and classmates have graduated and you feel alone.
Your last year in school is worse than all the rest. You have been pushed further behind your companions, though most of them you will not really miss. You have been pushed into uncertainty, and surrender again to authority. You obey the nuns and pray each night for a way out.
Then you graduate. The future is all before you, open but narrow. There is only one choice before you, and that is marriage. But that is for the future.
First, the present. In your childhood, now changing to adulthood, you evolved and became a true person, a union of id, ego, and superego. And you learnt something about yourself.
What path did your journey take you towards most?
[] Education: With all your hard work, you excelled in your studies. You made friends with swots, and talked to each other about the strangest of matters- literature, algebra, Max Plank.
[] Sociability: Thrown into the deep end, you learnt to act. Perfect before the teachers' eyes, you held forth a charisma that found you hangers-on always and invoked the jealousy of many.
[] Physicality: So what if you were small? You could be fast, you could be sharp, you could jump and skip and run with the best of them. In these modern days even women can be athletes, and perhaps you could be one.
Who made butterflies crop up in your belly, and cause you to blush at the oddest of times?
[] Boys, when you see them sweating at work and playing with balls, speaking only rarely and oft chaperoned.
[] Girls, so innocent and so wicked at turns, laughing with you at a joke or kneeling beside you at prayer.
[] No one. Frivolity? Another aspect of your strangeness? Chasteness is a virtue you have no trouble with.
5 votes on SB and 4 on SV for an overall majority for 'Plan H', though 'Plan Z' might've won given another day, who knows. Had some early time so wrote just now. Feel free to vote for the options jointly or separately. Hope to write again in about 26 hours, and if not perhaps the day after.