Earlier that day… 19/13/1,201,356 Allsparked Cycle (AC), Rallying Age. Rivetday, 6:31 Hours Iacon Local Time, Cybertron.
At least Aileron has time for the spark echoing therapy with me today. I've definitely missed doing it with her.
You're worrying about Gauge and Sideswipe. Wouldn't lie if I said I wasn't either.
Of course I'm worried, Daniel dear. Even just counting groups we know, like the Circle of Light, Autobots, Decepticons, Unicronists, obscure Neo-Functionists, Vosian and Darkmount secessionists, and the returned radical embrace vs. the myopic chauvinism defense committee divide of the Cosmopolity factions, and whatever the theoretical precursors doing, we have a number of groups that do not get along during a particularly turbulent period. If I lose her again I'll- my hands' circuits throbbed, holding my thermal energy sword and dagger hilts on the table, body and module circuits as tenseas my spark. We will probably leave a bloodier trail than last time. If all my anxiety right now was rendered into kinetic force, it would explode this habsuite poor Lodestar was kind enough to give us, it's a good thing her Titan frame is much larger than this room.
We had to be here [Let's try stowing those, yeah?] I checked the ignition button safeties one more time, and moved my arms to store my first saber and dagger pair into my inner back stack compartments, and then the second pair, all in interior grooves, external armor plates shutting on them after. Arcee love, you know we had to, and we both know it is likely something will happen here. Caminus is the best place for Gauge and Sideswipe to be right now, they're always well watched out for, and you can trust Lancer and Greenlight to look after her. What happened two decades ago wasn't something we could do anything about, and you were there. It was a planetary defense protocol problem.
I'd rather not remember when a chauvinistic theocracy got the slip because of double agents who compromised hazardous material detection procedures and allowed the raiders to let loose EMP bombs all over Dialgem to try to pull off a mass abduction. My feet shuffled and I stood from my seat, arms painfully not holding my mentees. I think the Admiralty would also rather not remember the berating we gave them about ensuring multiple-factor trust either when folks along with Nightbeat, Muzzle and us put the pieces together. But thank you for reminding me we're being practical.
Fair enough- gosh she is always pretty, you two painting each other was nice, yeah? My optics gazed easily at the beloved sight of Aileron stretching her arms with a yawn in the doorway to the berthroom. Her usual orange, white, and dark jet gray armor now painted over in deep green in the shoulders, cheek guards, upper chest, and thighs, knees and lower chest vents fronted with deep pink. Light blue covered her ankles, neck, audials, and lining her wings, and a line of orange on her light pink face between her chin helm armor and lips, all by my gentle and well-acquainted hands five days ago. Daniel and I smiled remembering every brushing...
Just as she had largely painted me in black and silver with ridges of pink, slowly working on my face with a coat of white swished with streaks of the heavier pink my frame normally had from CNA pigmentation. In both her case and mine, there were minutes of talking and waiting for paint to dry, before we smooched each other.
"Admiring how you painted me, dearest?" Aileron leaned on a side of the door and blew me a kiss. A green scabbard for her solid ununtrium thermal cutlass was magnetized to her left hip.
"Well- admiring you, too, the paint is complementary and the act an intimacy," a smile creased on my face while I strolled over into her arms, leaving a long osculation on her mouth with mine, before getting a look at her dreamy, agape expression that met my optics after. "Which I guess you could say is something that does appeal to me, to have willingly labored over each other as we do in so many other aspects of life. To know your wings in a different context than all the others I know them by."
A large grin surged across her face and she laughed full of spark. "Someone's in a mood today I see," she softly grabbed my chin that hung near her head, and fondly rubbed it with her thumb.
A tiny keen and shudder strode out of my voicebox and frame.
"You're looking forward to sharing observations and reifications of aesthetic narrations with me, aren't you?" She ran a hand across my cheek while the other patted my back stacks in alternation.
I clung around her upper back and shoulders, letting what tension remained simmer away, except that which I adored for a sense of battle readiness and savvy intrepidness in a steady flow of time and space, in the back of my mind. "Well yes, that was what I was thinking about earlier… and reminding myself we're in the right place at the right time."
"Ah, I see," She nuzzled her head up against mine. "We are dear, odds are in our favor, you convinced me of that after countless of hours of strategic discussion over the last few centuries. Even if this plays out badly, we'll find a way, and have our moments to heal, just as you have yours this morning soon. Let's eat, shall we? Don't want to keep the folks we're doing this with waiting."
"Right," I returned her nuzzling and turned to walk towards the hallway door, past the simply adorned and to my mind cozy kitchen. I stopped for a moment and put my hand behind my neck. You wanted to get back out for a while, yes?
Yeah, I do. The background sense of the closed loops Daniel kept distant from my mental processing mostly dissipated: his genders, some of his private thoughts, the blended engagement of personalities, knowledges, and perspectives only remaining in my circuitspace as a plural rendition from my own mind, used to her presence.
Neural and nourishment cables unplugged, anti-concussive compartment plating split while my lower head hatches opened in tandem, and xey crawled out into my waiting hand. I brought xem around to make sight contact, smiling at the human in curved deep pink armor, wrinkled pale face green in prominent veins from energon consumption, short shaggy hair that was usually white currently bleached in prismatic shades. His armor was overlaid with a knee-high green dress trimmed with blue and orange, sewn to allow free movement of her legs.
"Hi you," I smiled, feeling the persona left in my mind embrace me while he touched my thumb with her hand. "Was good to reconnect a little after your shower huh?"
"Yeah, it was," xey looked up at me, brown irises surrounded with gray from bionanite fluid that copied and bolstered her cells. "You wanna drive me there- Good morning Aileron haha that tickles!"
Aileron fingers that had been stroking Daniel's back stopped to gently encircle her torso while leaning to kiss xeir forehead. "Good morning dear. Going by alt mode sounds lovely."
She opened the door, and I knelt, setting Daniel down, and transformed into my armored convertible form, sleek and robust like my robot form, cyan wheels inside outcropped armor.
My steering wheel inside my dashboard popped out, and I opened my left door and beeped quietly. "Hop in pal!"
The roar of Aileron's retro thrusters came on behind me after the tsche-tsche sounds of her transformation, and I looked through my rear optic cameras to see that she was in a hover, a dazzling sight to my spark of a personality so sweet, brave, and stalwart, full of nuance, idiosyncrasy, and gentleness. I barely perceived when Daniel's metal legs settled-behind my steering wheel, hands at rest on it, but I did catch his sly bemused face in my rear-view mirror while Aileron blinked her lights at me in dot-dash to say that she wanted to cuddle up close to me, kiss to our content, and immerse in each other's minds for a few days.
My idle engines purred in reply.
"You two can't get enough of each other, can you," xey chuckled.
=Nope!= Aileron commed to us. =Before we end up not leaving, let's zoom onward.=
She rocketed off down the large central blue-gray hall on her twin air-breathing energon rocket engines, fired intermittently so I could keep pace. There was some minor commotion around us of people about: crew, participants, visitors, along with military and diplomatic guard detachments from our Planetwell Polity Alliance and allies along with the Cosmopolity, over a hundred species between us down the two kilometers towards our destination, talking and mingling among each other as I had been used to for most of my life before the Functionist coup. Save for the almost fervent excitement at joining the Cosmopolity being centered on us, rather than on alien polities we made contact with in millennia past.
That and I was not going to ever get used to the fact people I didn't know well or at all occasionally cheered at the sight of Aileron and I or merely grew silent and waved with smiles, brief song notes, crystal chimes, chloroplast flares, among other greetings. All I've done is doing my part over the years to labor, heal, teach, fight, and rally, and being lucky to have done it well and not died in the process, besides writing on aesthetics a little and not knowing what to do with what it means half the time.
I still blinked back lights and beeped lightly; I had the mental energy at the moment to do so.
=I never wanted to be a hero or remembered and still don't, just for what goodness I've caused to last and grow= I messaged to Aileron and Daniel while we started to slow down, near arrival to breakfast. =If people would see in themselves their own remarkability as much as they see mine…=
=It's complicated, isn't it loves?= Aileron came to a stop in front of the open hall airlocks and hovered down to transform onto her feet, in front of the Mineral Lode, as Lodestar called it. =I think in some ways, many see themselves in us or look to us for wisdom and want to celebrate us, but others still also/or see a way to not have to make as much effort by leaving it up to us and not participating in structural change, a paradoxical pedestal, especially for you and the lineage of thought and engagement we are part of.=
=Ugh, at least that's changing now.= Daniel replied while I rolled to a standstill. =galactic politics move horrendously slow, but the whole experience of the attempted Functionist takeover after the Unicron War seems to have been a rude wake-up call.= She opened my door and stepped out. =Our thinker colleagues over the years were right about the cycle of existential violence being overdue, which is a price I'd rather we hadn't paid.=
=A price we are still paying.= I transformed to a stand. =I only hope that we can consolidate on the determination, peacefulness, and joy making enough in combination with strategy and material for the fight ahead. At least, people are listening more to the collective efforts of subalterns to emphasize each other as well as everyone else, it's not quite the narrow-focused reverence that there was after the war. This better last through the next one.=
We walked into the busy module dotted with vases bearing crystals, gems, minerals, and stones across shades from Cybertron's Hadean System and gifts from visits all over the galactic cluster. Between them were a variety of tables low and high busy with people talking and eating, and along the sides of the circular room were buffet stands. The usual waft of food smells was rather muted, to accommodate toxic and allergic response from many different persons munching present.
I spotted our friends and family present we planned to sit with and waved and looked down at Daniel. "Catch you at the table, enjoy yourself with some human food."
"Sure thing!" He waved and walked towards the labeled stands on the leftwards side, while Aileron and I went right, gathered trays and fuelware, and proceeded to pick foods from various buffet tables intended for transformers.
Stars, this all looks so tasty, I thought, seeing the energon and metal pastries, rods, sculpts, gears, soups, and sparky warm and cold drink maker machines, the faint smells of savory, spiced, and sweet acute enough to make my fuel tank rumble. I paid my respects to and shared pleasantries with the nearest cook, a therduvlian purple wrinkle-skinned and trapezoid shelled mammal as tall as me, whose claws cutting up our metal bars for our breakfasts. Then I filled the bowl I had placed on my tray with copper bolts, and poured in warm mid-grade energon spiced with zinc, and picked up a single large iron cookie with beryllium ingots. On my way back to the table where our friends sat, Aileron rejoined me, a platter with an energon filled steel rhombus and aluminum square cuts in hand.
When Aileron and I set our trays down, the group's chatter with Daniel while the lot munched away paused, besides a human friend of mine the new arrivals got up, along with Anode and Lug, who had snuck away from their berth early to attend a meeting of rogues from around the galaxy, which Grimlock had also joined. Galvatron, Nautica, and Road Rage grinned while taller than me and squarish truck-former Yellow Splendid Convoy held me in a firm hug, which I returned while Aileron greeted one of our other pals.
"Arcee, Aileron! Good to see you," Splendid's red optics softened looking at the two of us. "Missed you a lot."
"Missed you too," I smiled at her faceplate that wibbled between her helm, nuzzled up on my face for a brief moment. "We'll have to catch up."
A blue gray stocky winged bot, Thundercracker, and his signature near permanent smirk greeted me next, "You're sure you don't want to get written into a holiday comedy this decade?"
"Ha!" I chuckled. "Far too busy. But thank you, I'll let you know if I change my mind," and after Thundercracker I embraced the round limbed gem freckled blue stone lithoid Trebulq and eir's partner Ruir-xest, a lanky amber leaf-scaled organic, whose snout's breath on my shoulder was warm. "Glad you two could make it too."
<Wouldn't miss our first chance to see your home with you in it> Trebulq chimed out eir's mouth in seditalk.
"Yeah, darling's right, it's nice to be able to meet on one of our treaty effected worlds finally," Ruir-xest hissed.
"Indeed friends, talking with you over the FTL-nets about teaching no longer needs to be solely accompanied by meeting on a treaty unaffected world," I held them close. "We'll share a conference some year together huh?"
<That sounds nice> Trebulq hummed, and Ruir-xest nodded, and I let go, to turn to the second human in the group after a brief mutual hold with Anode and Lug, with whispers over hanging out in the evening with Aileron.
"Marissa, hello!" I hugged long red-haired and armor padded deep blue dressed Marissa in her chair as gently as I could, feeling her arms return the gesture across my front width.
"Good to see you both," she smiled up at me, putting a hand on my thumb before getting a hug from Aileron, while I greeted Splendid and Thundercracker in turn. Then I sat, and took a long swig of my unflavored energon.
"Would have made it sooner, but I was in negotiations with the Circle of Light and the Primus Venerance. You know how it is." Splendid made a hand tossed gesture. "A bit of introspected Matrix wisdom goes a long way with them."
"Well it's good matters of archaeology and techno-faith haven't completely kept you away yet," Aileron smiled. "How are you, aside from that?"
"Quite well, all things considered. Been learning the ancient art of the human curling sport. Yourselves?" Splendid slurped on some beige zinc mix energon.
"Drowned in paperwork and committees at the Cosmopolity capital campus for the last three months until last week," Marissa noted between bites into her oatmeal. "Thundercracker here saved me by appealing on the grounds that I had to be present for the cultural zeitgeist that it would be poignant for me to be here, which is true and the desire of the Anarchaeum. Nice to know a transformer's words still carries weight in the arts to the galactic halls of delegation."
"Haha, old Amica, you are too kind. People wanted you and your group to take a break and cycle in different delegates as is expected." Thundercracker slurped down some of his drink. "Though I will admit it has been a strange experience to help direct and write well-received films despite being told not to visit the majority of star systems that watch them until recently. At least human and nebulan pre-contact worlds flouted those rules, aye?"
"Ha, yeah," Anode grinned. "Would be a shame to not be able to see friend descendants on Nebulos, Centauri, and Earth."
"Pff, you also get a kick from the arc of aesthetic expansive history with them darling," Lug laughed. "We're direct links to the humans' past over 690,000 orbit cycles ago."
"Yes well, have a bunch of aliens show up to say hello with different gender systems and some of the robot species all being equivalent to trans by our use of the word did have an affirmative impact on our hopeful peace at the time." Marissa grinned at us; her eyes quickly almost made contact in that way some public speakers are skilled in. "Or so history classes, recordings, and recollections of older folks tells me." She ate the last morsel on her empty plate. "Things may be very different now, what with me being a paralunar from the stellarium in descendance from the old Galactian Alignment System, but that realization as a toddler was partially informed by you all- generally speaking."
My spark convulsed in tandem with my brain in the midst of a whirl of wordless appreciation and gladness for her, quaintness, and a mountainous pressure – I am part of the face of a deeply actuation engaged species who once were among many more similar and different from us in welcoming vastly varied kinds of life into friendship – even with no attempt to pressure, contextual comparison and exchange was inevitable – and then we fell from grace in more dramatically interstellar way than most… I did my best to smile back, to be hopeful. Stars I feel so sad… the occasional collapses of other Cosmopolity members and various species composing them were bad too but at least they were a bit easier to have solidarity for and didn't last so long… at least ours did not and cannot undo what we were part of.
I didn't have the fuel tank to speak to all of this at the moment, and it was not as if people here didn't know.
"Aww, gosh, that's – that's so sweet, you know, that's understandable," Aileron gently grabbed my hand to caress the back of it while I put one of my own in the vicinity of Daniel's, knowing he would be feeling what I felt too. "When I was young, I was rather fascinated with the ancient human concept and ongoing history of <sword lesbians> and some other comparable iterations like the nebulan <glaive jiquxui> and zeurthoid <shovel wavarthieb>. It did help me understand my own mutualism and being a zoomdare a little better to step back from my own most immediate context, and well- the aesthetics ranges therein are pretty and dashing too. I've been reading your spar-embrace poetry talking about your paralunarity as you feel it at various points in life, I really like it! Have you thought about doin' more with it?"
"Hah, sometimes, but I'm so busy right now," Marissa laughed. "Maybe once things have settled in with the PPA and fellow polities waiting for your reunion to join are firmly back in with the rest of us after several years."
"I keep joking with Marissa that we ought to do an autobiographic film of her life," Thundercracker smirked. "She has a pulse for things. My understanding of my zoomseek is simpler, never really felt like speaking to it on that scale of history."
"Aww come on, saying that basically precludes one of us reminding you that you're awesome for that," Splendid unplugged the cable from the fuel box that ran to the fuel port on their chest. "Nothing wrong with being more personal."
"What Splendid said," Ruir-xest gnawed down on xeir jerky. "Your love for flight and how that overlaps with your questful vigor is very beautiful."
"Suppose that's true," Thundercracker grinned, bearing sharp teeth. "I guess I also just am more interested in telling stories other than my own. Punch/Counterpunch sent me half a script 50 megacycles back about a Paradonian Cube mystery match comedy based on his time in it, and I got really excited about it."
"A what now?" I asked, curious. "I haven't heard of that rules variation of Cube."
<You're very lucky, Thundercracker> Trebulq quietly chimed. <Finding out about the mystery Cube practice on Paradon is exceptionally difficult, it's a game that avoids news coverage and whose audience is rather quiet about it. I was able to partake once when I promised to teach some players pebble glisten on an obscure net forum when I took a break from teaching.>
"Ah yes, was a lovely surprise," Thundercracker's optics shone with delight. "I've been to a few since then- A WHAT- you taught them – where did you learn—"
<Aha, so you have been hiding an obscure sports interest from us all these years> Trebulq's chuckles echoed rumbled stone joyfully. <Your secret seeking, hmmm?>
"Well y- no-! but!—" Thundercracker stammered, and looked at the rest of us smiling or watching him intently. "Oh fine, I'll admit it, you euphoric amplifiers you, lying about sparktion beyond omission around you all has always been hard. More than meets the senses my wing, you're the senses who draw out the 'more' with you kindness and love…" they muttered, before we all broke into guffaws.
"Please, I can't," Lug beamed while a little droplet fell from her optic. "'you need to write that into something, Thunker- oh whoops I did the thing..."
"Ah, a suggestion for Thundercracker, that can only mean-" Grimlock, Nautica, and Road Rage almost sang together.
"That my sibling and I are to be reminded of the tally of suggestions until they reach a hundred and Thunker and their team does them all, as long as it happens within a sibling duo… - musical - with Arcee and I as the main characters." Galvatron grumbled with a flat stare. "Can't believe I agreed to this twenty orbit cycles ago- I know I could back out but my honor compels me, plus it's a good excuse for my sibling to exercise that full range of adventurous emotion she likes."
"I can almost hear you saying that I'm a lot like Backpack," I whispered, thinking of those bots I felt so much kinship to whose sparks and minds talked with mine when I did spark echoing for long enough. "I'd have to agree—" at the perception of my sensors randomly prickling and sending erroneous data, my mind focused on the lovely near gestalt built and revisited over the last year, both of review of my own life and those who echoed with me, and theirs I had that special kinship with so far from me I wasn't sure we'd ever meet beyond this if they were real.
The sensory wave of hot and cold and dislocation broke on the metal rock that was my focus on conversations, memories, and warmth while I was completely quiet, not taking in any data from around me. More successful than my last evening on Caminus, when my module's blurred hyperfocus at the time had struggled to use the right tools on my own.
Wisdom in love and prowess, in reciprocal quests and remarks… I feel happy…
"Arcee?" Aileron rubbed my back stacks while she looked into my optics with hers open wide, mouth small. "You made it okay? Did you just-"
"Yeah, remembered today," I kissed her lips. "Thank you for checking in on me."
"Of course," she nuzzled her head against mine while I saw that all the trays on the table and their contents were gone, and everyone sat around and talked quietly. To make me feel not too waited on. How sweet.
"How long was I out?"
"Seven minutes." Her rubs became a hug. "You ready to go meet Lightbright and Lodestar for the spark echo with us?"
"Yes, I am." I stood. =Lodestar, Lightbright, we're headed your way.=
After traversing four kilometers inside Lodestar's halls, we stepped into a small lounge room, where Cityspeaker Lightbright was dancing to the music of her mentee, the Titan we were in. She twirled and leaped, shook about and threw herself about with her limbs, a short and limber teal and bronze bot with long side horn-audials with red Cityspeaker paint on her blue opticed face. Then she saw us and waved, and stepped towards the bench surrounded table that had a large prismatic polyhedron upon that warbled and with tides of electric blue pseudoplasma on its surface, spark and mind compatible energies ignited on Matrix of Leadership principles that still amaze me after all these millennia .
"Dears! Good morning!" Lightbright waved as Lodestar turned off the music.
[Welcome honored denizen nexuses] Lodestar added.
The lot of us gathered around Lightbright to hug and greet her, and each of us gave the table rim or leg a soft squeeze to acknowledge conversation with Lodestar.
"It's been lovely to do this with you all and your other pals when they can since you arrived," Lodestar grinned, and her audials' end tassels wagged. "Us knowing you all for these last ten millennia since our diplomatic tour of the galactic cluster has been lovely. Shall we begin?"
"Yeah, let's start," I smiled back.
The rest of us agreed, and Nightbeat, Thundercracker, and I knelt for Muzzle, Marissa, and Daniel to climb onto our shoulders. Muzzle and Daniel clambered inside of their sockets in Nightbeat and I, and I felt my binary bond partner's mind touch and blend with mine again. The lot of us held hands, while Marissa leaned on one of Thundercracker's tall back vents, and Lodestar set an instrumental version of an ancient song from my menteehood, Archival Sword Quest Amorism , soft metal harp notes and keyboard chords building up to join and alternate with cybtar riffs. Memories cane back of discussing the lyrics with Galvatron and my mentors when the plasmcore band Upquark Errant Mutualites released the song, and dancing to it with Anode and Lug while it played on a hand stereo, - and when I learned enough of your language from then over a century later, being able to appreciate it as you first heard it . The first few lyrics came easily to us:
Quests of - the - soul,
How we find ourselves in one anothers',
Learning blade and episteme,
and finding my frame and mind with yours.
We strive for the constellational hope!
We tap into the knowledges around us,
and write our fates together!
"Oh how lovely-" Lug and Anode said together.
Anode nodded at Lug, who continued: "That's a nice old song, you remembered that we love it so much..."
[It speaks to deep desires of mine too... and gladdens me to connect with something exponentially older than me, and to enjoy it with you...]
"Yeah, we love it. Learning the Polynary Axibo language of the original sung version was also lovely <brings to mind resting in variation>" Lightbright slipped into the old tongue of my youth.
[<to sing-dance and starshine daily even when it is difficult>]
"<what a bloom-memento, Lightbright and Lodestar!>" Galvatron's optics shone with delight on his smirked face. "You two have been studying, picking up the compound terms."
"Gives a totally different meaning to language being affected by aesthetic, neutral but experiential and combinative." I chuckled, as did everyone. "Save for the transness that could be what humans long ago called a buffalo."
"We can be pretty stuck up," Marissa's smirk paralleled the mischievous look of my Amica Endurae and my sibling. "Using the term form instead has been a very unique er- form of protest for the last twenty years... " groans and laughs were heard, myself laughing as Marissa went on. "I do enjoy seeing the more distrusting folks of the galactic alliance wince with guilt or being constantly reminded of leaving you out, or looking silly by ignoring it."
"I mean, they'd hear or read it fairly often, many of the species of the Anarchaeum do enjoy- what do you kids call it, spontaneous median communication," our binary bond's words poured out easily, I thought it was funny, and I thought it was amusing.
"Ha, yes, that is what we 'kids' call it," Marissa chuckled. "Shall we?"
The rest of us gave words of agreement, and Lightbright turned up the spark echoers outward connection range with a dial. I felt my spark pulse and warm inside me, tapped into the paracausal machine and somewhat aware of the souls around me, and my mind started to experience a rehashing of memory and desired futures:
-in mentor Gallium's arms with Galvatron while he and I were still growing, only a week old, while mentor Feldspar read to us Errant Origins by Letter , one of my favorite stories, about an errant bot on aer journey to reconnect with history, aer's trans sparktion, and family after a long war in the Thunderhead Mountains of Cybertron. "And there did ae encounter a one-way crossroads ruined by armies ae had led, on the jagged and geometric metal face ae called home, and ae recycled aer's sword and rifle there for material rebuild homes lost by collateral fire, and labored by hand to help repair Electrotown with no care for aer's rank, reputation, or the former allegiance of those who lived there, where once ae had danced in festivals of the valley when ae was younger…"
-kissing with scale mail clad Llyra on the lips with my hands in on her green cheeks surrounded by her zigzagging purple hair after we did our commitment vows, my electrician tool belt and wind billowed dress up against her armor, and I was unable to help bringing in the passion Arcee had when she danced lips with Greenlight and Aileron…
-I remembered exchanging a flurry of blows with the massive bulky red-orange Sentinel Prime, each thrust, slash, block, feint, riposte, punch, kick, dodge, and parrying strike, the twenty-minute duel in the now dismantled gold and blue Functionist Senatorium to restore the colorful Senate building in Iacon of old. Slowly and steadily, I assessed his somewhat unpredictable pattern of moves built on top of the late Golden Age Hadean Naval Style- heavy strikes and quick jabs, while I kept changing through assembled portions of thousands of my learned martial art forms with the battle meta in the back of my mind. All the while through the exchanges of odd conversation between us about his respect for me and my disdain for his attempt wrestle power over the Autobot revolutionary movement from our horizontal democratic leadership. I remembered the sense that I had driven my sword through his spark for people like me, but I was not entirely unsure why, which still bothered me today as his last words did, but in the spark echoing I felt a sense of resplendent intrepidness, of peace.
-Recollections emerged of going on a long drive with Velocity, Arcee and Marissa across the Lithium Flats, talking about our hopes and dreams, and that Arcee had to pull over and stop all of a sudden when her sensory issues came on. I remembered when I hugged her hand then, and Marissa gave soothing words and knowing empathy while Velocity put some circuit soothers on her-my neural cluster, and that we rested there in the flatness that afternoon, and welcomed bots who stopped by.
-The strongest memory that surged forth was taking Gauge and Sideswipe to their first aesthetic hang-out, with Greenlight, Lancer, Aileron, Anode, Lug, and ourself. Of their enthusiasm and wonderment in the open air plaza in the Old Dialgem neighborhood where the Titan Caminae rested, of hearing and opening up about feelings of sensory experience of different modes and their shapes, of daily life, of playing with pronouns to choose one, of poetry and illustration along these moods and vibes. The day Sideswipe first tried and stuck with she pronouns, and we told her her namesake would be proud.
All this and a thousand other memories aglow, with dreams I had:
-In old age and deep peace, our remaining loved ones gathered around us in a meadow on Caminus at the time of year Cybertron's nearby star shined brightest, and to let our duo's systems shut down, heartbeat and sparkpulse leaving in slumber, after some sweet words at the end of a party in honor of our moving on, after a year of joy just for family and friendship.
-Sometime soon, not an end to the potential of conflict, that would never happen as long as any sort of life existed – but an ascendance of motion and thought, of loving trust and reciprocity, questing for the sake of it and to hold onto meaning- myself (describe her doing these things), as part of daily life in an Autobot Golden Age.
-My two mentees, full of vivacity and knowledge, going their ways whether close to home or far, taking us old folks on adventures once in a while, content with finding new chosen family beyond the ones they had accepted early in their lives, us.
I hoped they'd outlive us, unlike our human and nebulan family, who never opted for cyborgification and passed away of natural causes generation after generation until we were estranged ancestors. That was the life they wanted, to not risk the increased creep of existential dread and societal dislocation, and because they felt they'd find closure sooner, but we still miss them.
-There was also the splendid dream of my three Conjunxes, pair of Amica Endurae in love with each other, and my third Amica Endura, each doing recommitment vows with me in our own time, a small affair of close friends and family before passionate, adventurous, and cozy zincmoons to our favorite places in the galaxy, near and far.
The spark echo started to sing high and low chimes, and my cycles of thought started to perceive and experience the lives and memories of those joined with me, and the emanations of their own hopes in illuminated dream: of Anode long ago in a pleasant archival frenzy, searching for a book to give me through the halls of a media exchange on Eukaris. Eager Nautica nervously and gently holding hands with Velocity for the first time after concluding a successful first round of treaty negotiations, Thundercracker sitting through a film theory class in a distant space station while lazily writing a script half-asleep, Splendid Convoy cozy on a bench with her Amica-Conjunx Stardrive on the porch of an apartment in the polity of Axiom Nexus… Galvatron and Grimlock laughing as they sparred sword and axe together on the bronze shores of the Mithril Sea, Marissa as a toddler declaring her aesthetic aloud to her family, Splendid meditating on the Matrix gestalt within her that whispered wisdom, and the magnitude of Lightbright and Lodestar's joined presence of their dancing minds during a farflung voyage through a triple star system whose asteroid belts shone so brightly…
We in turn were a daydreaming joining of sparks. It felt so good, all of it, a vortex of contextual anchors, and my spark of course drawn to those of seven in particular here, and sorely missing the others I was closest too - we shared our warmth of memory and companionship, a wordless familial respite from the world.
Then there was something else: memories not exactly mine or theirs, largely vague in my inner perception visually.
-Rolling, in blue, a small leaping bladed dancer of death - in a war where the roots of my side made me uncomfortable but I found peace in what we became in the end
- someone back stackless and more flat and boxy but still happy with actuation, addressing a crowd with vows of post war reconciliation, hoping to take up a Matrix
-writing a document from and on realization found by the transformations of organic beings, full of hope and wondering if anyone would take me seriously - and awash with feeling at the revolution after to embrace and connect with what I wrote, that I helped make other people happy
-adventuring with a dear friend on a moon, full of glee at interacting with animals different from my species to take in the thrill of life and learn. She was different, but I loved her for her own sake-
-teaching children and sharing family moments at the end of a series of convoluted conflicts millions of years in the making I had helped end, finally happy with myself and my connection to other people, reunited with two lost friends, and now far more ancient than I was
-the embracing, hopeful, and sad resolve after a last stand against imperialist apologists in order to depart with family and allies from a world I had only left once in my life, and a strong sense of not wanting to repeat losing my mentee as I almost had then
-fighting onward for survival and hope with daring and kindness, many stars apart from my binary bond friend who pushed the line between self and adopted child except when I had the chance to visit Earth again for rest and battle
-someone nearly lost to violence for violence's sake whose side had been vanquished, who I tried to impart a mental reminder of how wonderful she could be, before her skein slipped away from me
-a handful more wading time travel plots, embracing friendly magic, intrepid alliances for collective good, involved in the stuff of myth and cosmogenesis, and several others trails I had felt before when I echoed were there, out of dozens- hundreds- billions beyond my capacity to count. Ones that also included gestalt experiences with one or many persons, of entities the size of larger than citadels, of ones as tall as my binary bond partner.
I reached out to two among the billions, the old errant warrior teacher and the adventurer, the eldest of us. Hiya, is now a good time?
Hey Zoomy! Nice to hear from you- you have a human in your hea- ah I see-
I felt the mind of the one we who had been in touch had nicknamed Backpack touch mine, our data brushing past causality, if we were really talking at all.
Well nice to meet your other half. And you as well, Prof. Backpack extended warm wordless thoughts to us, and we replied in kind.
Hahaha really always liked that nickname, given the human degrees I have and am already doing my best to deconstruct, haven't exactly assimilated into their academia, and there's my famous professing too. Lovely to hear from and feel you all. How are you doing?
Congratulations! I thought. I'm a bit strained in the wheels, have a speech 1,000 years in the making that I'm very nervous about having a breakdown from the emotional overload it will elicit being too much, or worried I'll mess it up.
Ah, that one you've been working on from your writing. Backpack's wheels whirred with perceivable interest and empathy as if my own circuits. You can do this- I've lived a very, very long life, and in that time I've seen people try to bring together much of everything they love most to put words to. It's not easy, it's a torrent of emotions, but you can do it. You have a diplomat and warrior's composure, rather than let your feelings stop you, let them flow to express how you feel when it best gets across what you mean. I stood up to a Quintesson Judge in a similar way- I simply turned to sassy humor to buy time against them, because there was no point in doing nothing and waiting for death and defeat!
She paused for a moment, her spark shivering slightly with nervousness that touched my mind as she went on. I was so scared when I told them to strike me down- but I did it because I felt fury and protectiveness in every bit of me. I know you do too, and I will simply say that if you keep from it derailing into just your personal trauma it will be easier on you, especially if people don't listen, but don't hold back on your personal story if it's needed.
That's- that's very helpful advice, thank you Backpack- our minds hugged in an exchange of thoughtful code and bodily sensation. Prof, I just worry- it's not in time, that my world is going through another death and I haven't done enough. I want a rallying cry.
I cannot tell you how much I know that it is exhausting to put yourself out there again and again when you've been misunderstood and lonely, Prof's code lines encircled my mind with gentle touches to my databanks- concrete validity and rush of poise from my life started to coalesce at her gentle embrace. But we as sapient entities are both always alone and yet are also never alone, there are always people trying to connect and love even if they aren't the same, and you've been cognizant of that longer than I have been with many more years on you. Speak your truths as you know they can be communicated through story, with your variable firmness and daring- people who have taken up contexts to be prepared to listen by this point will hear what you have to say, and you will leave seeds for many others. I've only known you a year, but you're an inspiration and friend to me, both of you…
=Connection is going to drop soon.= Lightbright commed. =Folks, say what you need to say, and there's always another call.=
Prof, I know you've taken in a lot about yourself recently, you doing okay? We love you so much, and all the linkages you are. I thought immediately.
What Zoomy said, Backpack pushed warmth of code towards Prof. And in my case, it is an honor to share galhood with you, I'm so glad Zoomy connected us.
Aw dears, Prof's spark communications were resplendent in adoration that made my own quiver with a warble of tenderness in my frame as she thought on. Yeah, ever since I dug back through my past to help the Ratchet and Nautica I know, I honestly have never felt better- I'm happy- I live in stride, I love you sister and zoomling!
My spark energies expanded partway into elsewhere across gaps I couldn't feel while focused on the nestled trinity of us three overlapped with everyone else I echoed with on their own journeys and waystations of souls… my own pseudoplasma roiling spark thought-formed lips, and kissed the two on the side of their orblike cores, which they returned-
The thoughts grew more distant, but intensity and kinship remained as our mind and sparks fell away from each other, from the myriad oneness unlike any I had known-
WE LOVE YOU! was the shared thought, and the connection dropped.
Lodestar turned off the music as we all made our way back into perceiving our bodies and immediate material world, alone together.
We formed a large cuddle pile with shivers, laughs, pats, and sighs, Lightbright herself hugging Lodestar's table, as a rush of the cosmos roared in my memory.
I can do this. There is always more, no matter how it goes- and there is the love we want.
"Well, I feel ready for the day," Splendid's optics crescented. "Spoke with some really cool parallel iterations."
"Me too," I chuckled. "Galvatron, when you're ready to roll out…"
"Ready when you are, Arcee sibling dear," Galvatron reached across our pals to pat my shoulder.