"Sorry about this. I'll try and be better next time."
My voice was scratchy, rough from disuse. A bit embarrassing, but I haven't needed it in… months? Months sound about right. I've gotten too used to never needing to talk, but I'm looking forward to needing to again. There's a lot of things that I haven't needed in a long time that I'm looking forward to.
Like a BatBurger™ . I haven't had a chance to have shitty junk food in forever. It's always just been fighting and surviving, and I am so looking forward to a good, greasy burger. Granted, meat is forever forbidden to me now, but I've had the Poison Ivy Delusion © before, and it tastes just like the original.
I'm probably going to throw up or shit myself when whatever suspicious chemical additive that makes the vegan burger tastes so good wrecks my stomach, but it'll be so worth it. First meal back in the realm of the living, and it's only fitting for it to be a BatBurger™
Pausing in my count, I sighed when I realized that my fantasizing had caused me to lose track of my change. Gathering up all the coins, I shook my head ruefully. "Again, I'm so sorry about this. I don't have real money."
It had been hard, scrounging around the laundromats and vending machines, but I had enough for one burger. I wish I could have Jokerized it, but that was an additional two dollars, and I just wanted food. I wanted to have something in my mouth that didn't taste of raw flesh or metallic blood
Dressed in the crappy, gimmicky bat-cowl that every restaurant provided, the cash register fidgeted in a move that completely betrayed the Bat he was supposed to portray., "I-it's fine. You can just take the food and go. You can take the money too!"
Tempting offer, but no. Why is he so scared of me? If anything, he should be annoyed with me. I'd be annoyed if I had to wait for someone to count for enough change.
…Unless he's not scared of me. He's scared of what's behind me.
Looking past the cashier, I used the distorted reflections in the metal counters of the kitchen to check what was behind me and confirmed my fear. It was big; it was black; it was the gods damned Batman looming behind me.
This was profiling, I tell ya. Just because I'm an alley kid, just because I'm bunnygirl back from the dead doesn't mean I'm going to do fucked shit. I'm not some costumed creep, looking to make a quick buck or fuck shit up because they're fucked in the head. I just want a burger. A vegan burger becauseI can't even eat meat properly because I'm a gods damned bunny girl now. You don't see me complaining though because I have
healthy coping mechanisms. I bury it deep, and I just try to make the best of things. I'm keeping my shit to myself, for myself, and I'm not flinging it all over the place like the rest of the loonies of Arkham.
More folks should be like me, and holy shit, I'm about to get my shit wrecked by the Bat. Ugh, I don't want to get my shit wrecked by anyone. I literally escaped the Beast Realm to stop getting my shit wrecked by everyone.
Good thing I also knew hot to
not get my shit wrecked.
"POCKET CHANGE!" I yelled as I whirled, throwing my heard-earned coins at the Batman, aiming specifically at his face. Even monsters need their eyes to see and metal hurts when it's in your face.
Unfortunately, the fucker didn't even flinch, but he was distracted long enough for me to jump up and over, using the back of his head as a springboard to launch out of the restaurant. I felt mildly regretful over breaking the windows, but between a bout with the Bat and broken windows, I choose life and freedom and whole and unbroken bones.
First rule of the Beast Realm! Running is
always an option! Also distraction, but mostly running.
Dashing into the alleyway, I hopped up against the walls, quickly scrambling up, making sure to cloak my movement in [黙]. With a final flip for fanciness, I landed on the roof, crouched. Blessed be magic for the bullshit that is easy sneaking.
…That still left the problem that I didn't have the
burger.
Creeping back, I cautiously peered over the ledge back at BatBurger. People were surrounding the outside, snapping photos from what they thought was a safe distance and what I thought was a suicidal distance. Either way, all that attention meant the Bat was still inside and… did I even pay?
No. I was still counting the coins. The coins that I just used as a distraction. Which meant I had no coins. Which meant I couldn't pay.
I just wanted a burger, damn it.
First day back from hell, universe. Mercy upon this stupid soul, but please let me have a gods damned burger.
Glaring angrily at the BatBurger™ restaurant, trying to channel my annoyance past the barriers towards my target, a medley of primary colors caught my eye. Red, yellow, and green heralds the advent of the Robin.
Oh, damn, it's the one with pants. I wonder if he remembers me? He wouldn't recognize me now, what with the whole being a bunny fursona thing, but it'd be nice if he remembered the old me. I remember him being nice like the old Robin. Bit more posh and he was absolutely a Bristol brat with his accent, but I couldn't hate him for that. While I'll always miss the Robin that came the same Alley that I had, this one was pretty nice too. He scrapped like the best of us, and well… If I was honest, he was kind of a bleeding heart with how easy it was to get freebies from him.
…Maybe if I act cute I could still get that burger.
=====
Looming in the middle of the BatBurger, the Batman loomed. Still as a gargoyle, he exuded gloom and menace. While those outside struggled to get a good picture of proof of the Bat, those inside remained hushed and quiet, wary of the protector of Gotham.
The Batman was an embodiment of fear. His presence was myth; the mere rumor of his approach a warning to the wicked.
The Batman did not feel pain, did not deal with it save to unleash it. What would he do in the face of such disrespect? Would he give chase? Would he hunt? None in that diner knew and stayed still in terror borne of instinct. Caution borne from such a place was not cowardice.
The Batman desired nothing but justice. He also wished for an icepack for his jaw. The cowl protected his face mostly, but metal coins were
still metal coins, and the bunny-girl had thrown them pretty hard.
Turning around, he briefly entertained the idea of collecting the various coins as evidence, but even a cursory glance told him all he needed to know. As the bunnygirl had shouted, it was indeed nothing more than pocket change.
That had been… unexpected. Unexpected enough to allow the rabbit an opening to use his head a springboard for escape. Fast, skilled, and with the capacity of danger, Batman moved out of the diner. Having been on patrol, Batman had called in Robin for backup chatter over the police lines had spoke of a new peculiarity in town.
Having arrived first, he had naturally gone in, but by this point, Robin should be here for backup, being able to either slow and detain the bunnygirl or at the very least catch her trail.
Unexpectedly though, Robin was standing outside, looking up. Following his gaze, Batman found that the bunnygirl was out on the roof, spreading her overcoat out with her arms.
"Would you stop doing that!?" Robin shouted, "I'm trying to have a serious talk with you!"
"NEVER! For I am
vengeance! I am the
night! I ruin perfectly innocent
burger runs!" the bunnygirl mocked, flapping the cloak to the laughter of the growing crowd. A laughter that grew silent as Batman stepped out into the light.
"Why do the burgers matter so much!?" Robin shouted, not noticing his entrance. Batman noted that he'd have to work on Robin's situational awareness.
"I haven't had a good burger in months!" the bunnygirl flipped, and Batman near had a heart attack when she toppled to the side. Fortunately, it had been planned and she turned the fall into a flounce, crying dramatically. "Oh, woe is me! My dramatics have caused embarrassment! I must go beat up petty thieves to feel better now! Better yet! I shall invade BatBurger!"
Arm over face, she laid there dramatically. When the expected response did not come, she leaned over and peered down. "Okay, I'll admit that was bit much, but come on! Not even a— HOLY FUCKING! BATMAN!?"
As the bunnygirl rolled away form view, the Batman bit back a curse as he ran forward to prepare to grapple after. He couldn't risk losing his lead. He had to help the bunnygirl.
He had to abort the maneuver when Robin ran out, blocking the path to the optimal grapple position. "B! Stop!"
"She's running away," Batman growled, looking up at the roofs to try and see where the bunnygirl had run off to..
He wasn't concerned about what she would do, but what she needed. From the scratchy youthfulness of her voice and the impulsive panic of her actions, she couldn't be more than fifteen. Wearing only pants and an overcoat, she had nothing else to cover her save bandages wrapped around her chest and the overcoat that looked worryingly tattered. For some odd reason, she also had a black army cap that her ears somehow worked around, either through holes carefully cut into the cap or some more mystical means. The damage of her apparel was reminiscent of those in constant battle, Batman knew he needed to find who had hurt her.
Snapping his fingers twice, Robin rolled his eyes and pointed up. "It's fine! It's fine! She's still on the roof."
Obligingly, a voice shouted, "I'm still on the roof!"
"And she can hear us," Robin sighed softly, pinching his nose. HE lowered his voice, "Look, B. I don't think she knows the concept of subtlety..
"I heard that! I too can know the concept of subtlety!!" the bunnygirl refuted, two ears poking out from the ledge, just shy of hidden.
Looking up at the building, the Batman estimated that it was about six stories high. He would check the precise dimensions on the Bat-Computer later. The bunnygirl had some means of traversal to go from ground level to that height so quickly; most likely enhanced musculature with the way her outfit had almost no place to hide any tools. Robin had also been speaking softly, yet she had still responded promptly. Enhanced hearing with a minimum range of… thirty meters, give or take a few.
Lowering his voice, Robin continued his report, "She's been ranting and yelling for the past couple minutes. I'm trying to get a name from her, but she yelled something about being undecided." —Lack of a name? Amnesia? Or deciding to take on a new persona? —"So I didn't push. Mostly all she's been ranting about was that she was—"
"Trying to buy a burger." Batman cut in. While the impromptu comedy routine between Robin and the bunnygirl was… endearing, there were more important matters to attend to such as who had
hurt her.
"What?"
"Robin," Batman didn't quite sigh. "She was trying to buy a burger. A Poison Ivy Delusion."
He felt vaguely insulted at Robin's look of befuddlement. Batman knew he was a bit gruff and… focused at times, but he had only gone inside with the intent to softly question the intentions of the half-naked bunny-girl.
Said bunny-girl shook a fist angrily. "I'd have Jokerized it too if I knew a stupid Bat would ruin it!"
"Really!?" Robin asked, vaguely offended.
"...No. Fuck the Joker!" the bunny-girl shouted, changing the fist to an obscene gesture, and a private part of the Batman was gratified to hear various onlookers yell affirmations to the sentiment.
Sputtering, Robin looked everywhere before pinching his nose. "Look! Just… stay there, please!"
"Why should I!? I lost all my money! I spent all day looking for those coins!" the bunny-girl complained before gesturing empathically. "And the Batman is fucking
right there!" Having said her piece, she ducked her head back down, and… it was ridiculous.
This whole thing was ridiculous, but…
Despite everything, the Batman found himself having to fight a small smile at the image of the bunny-girl scrounging around laundromats and underneath vending machines for loose change, carefully counting up the coins for a burger. After… the recent War Games and the loss of Ste—, after some painful losses, it was… nice to have a low-stakes, almost silly incident like this.
"He just wants to talk to you!" Robin shouted, frustrated.
Tapping Robin's shoulder, Batman leaned down and whispered. "Tell her I'll return the coins."
Giving him a surprised glance, it soothed the Bat's soul to hear the amusement in the young bird's voice. "And he said he'll return the coins!"
Head popping up, the bunny-girl yelled, "Is he going to punch me!?"
"NO! No, he's not going to punch you!" Robin turned to mock-whisper to Batman. "You're not going to punch her, right?"
Again, he felt vaguely irritated at the lack of trust, feigned as it was. Rolling his eyes, the Bat nevertheless played along. "I only intended to assess the situation."
"Then why'd she run?" Robin wheedled, taking far too much amusement from this.
Indulging the whim, the Bat sighed, "There may have been a misunderstanding."
Punching his arm, Robin crowed, "You should've waited for me."
"She was an unknown quantity," Batman declared. "It would've been dangerous for you to engage."
Staring blankly, "Ugh. I wish you'd trust me more."
Confused, Batman stared silently. Why would Tim say that. Batman trusted Robin. He had more than proved himself. Smart, clever, comprehensive in analysis, and focused in duty, Batman trusted Robin. It was unknowns he didn't trust, and he'd rather not place Robin in an unknown situation. That was reasonable, right? Yes, he was right to do so.
Before he could correct Tim's interpretation,, the bunnygirl shouted, "Do I go? Is this a whole thing you're doing? I"ll go get my burger somewhere else if you're just going to waste my time!"
"Wait, don't leave!" Robin shouted, and Batman withheld his wince. A panicked order like that was more likely to make the bunny leave. As it was, even from down here, he could see the bunny-girl tensing in preparation, already ducking away to hide from view. Silently, he willed his charge to remember his training and was proud at the cool, calming breaths Robin took before speaking. "Look, we just want to ask some questions. Can we just… talk?"
Silence reigned for a bit, then the ears heralded the head of the rabbit popping out and over. "Prove it!" the bunny-girl shouted, and the Bat sighed with a strange mixture of relief and exasperation at the undertone of amusement.
With that accent and that attitude, she was most likely a child of Crime Alley, loath as the Bat was to use that alias for Park Row. Only a child of the Alley had that heady mixture of cautious suspicion and reckless whimsy. Only a child of the Alley would dare these sorts of antics. Like Jas— Like so many others. He made sure to note that it was only a hypothesis, a good one to start building a file around, but one yet to be confirmed.
"Wh-what!? How?" Robin floundered, caught off guard by the sudden change.
Pressing forward with gleeful abandon, the rabbit rattled off quickly. "Get me a Poison Ivy Delusion Supersized Deluxe Meal with an Extra-Large Side of Fries and a Medium, no, Large-sized Strawberry Milkshake! And make the Soda a Dr. Pepper
and a large!" Head ducking under, the rabbit peeked quickly to add on one last tidbit "Also a beer!"
Frozen in surprise, Robin took a moment to mentally reset. "...BatBurger doesn't sell beers. Are you even of age?"
"Are you!?"
Leaving Robin to bicker with the bunny-girl, Batman went inside the Batburger and placed the order, adding on two chocolate milkshakes for himself and Robin. A peaceful night in Gotham was a rare one, and a bit of silliness would be fine.
He'd slip a tracker into the bag though. Just in case.
=====
Rubbing my hands together, I was vibrating with glee. Actually, scratch that. I stood up and punched the air, throwing out a few kicks, and practically danced around the bag that held my first good meal in fucking forever. Once I had gotten all the energy out with my manic dance, I crouched and smiled, just gazing with joy at the little brown bag decorated with the emblem of the Bat.
This was… this was exciting. This was going to be my first burger in this life. My first
Supersized burger meal ever. You have any idea how hard it is for a streetrat to scrounge up enough money for a Bat-Mite meal, let alone a Supersized Deluxe meal?
Real fucking hard.
Reaching inside, I felt around and found the box containing the burger. There was an odd amount of… napkins inside, and some of it felt like terrible quality, too stiff and rough and more like…
Cash. No way, did the Bat… Changing targets, I grabbed out a loose sheaf of green paper and marveled at how thick it was.
Holy shit… There's like… One. Two. Three… That's a fat stack of Benjamins there. Flicking through the sheaf, I ballparked it to have about two, maybe three thousand dollars worth of cash. That could buy like… five, maybe six hundred Poison Ivy Delusion© burgers.
The Beast Realm had taught me how to go without food for months, so if I paced myself and at a burger a week, maybe have a few stupid purchases, I could still live an easy two, three years on the cash alone. Especially if I just slept on the rooftops. Winter could be annoying, but… dang. The Bat was hella loaded, huh?
And a softie too, giving a street rat like me all this cash. I'm going to blow it all on… Stuff. What do I like to do? Besides fighting and running? It's always just been on finding the next meal, the next place to rest, getting away from danger, and… I'm goign to need to find a hobby.
And I have
money to do that now. Tucking the cash into my cleavage, I immediately realized that was a stupid place to hide the money. My trenchcoat should have… No, that one has a hole, that one's straight torn off, ahah! I put the money into a secret inside pocket and zipped it close.
That pleasant surprise aside, it was time for the real focus of the day. Pulling out the box, I held it to my face and breathed in deep.
Oh, greasy, disgusting, and marvelously all just for me.
Taking it out of the box, I paused right before the first bit and set the burger back into the box. Clapping my hands twice, I kept my palms together in prayer. "Ittadakimasu!"
And then I dug in. Carefully but quickly, I ate the burger and it was marvelous. Greasy. Disgusting. Salty and savory with just that glorious tang of ketchup to even things out and the sharp sourness of pickles, I demolished that burger in moments.
Taking a sip of my soda, I coughed as the bubbles went up the wrong pipe but forced the french fries into my mouth as much as I could. Tilting my head back, I squirted the ketchup packets into my gob and then began chewing, mixing the fried slivers of potato with the sauce and just…
This was good. All too soon, it was all gone, but my stomach felt full.
Perhaps I ate all of it a bit too fast, but it was a hard habit to drop. In Gotham and in the Beast Realm, your meal was one scuffle from being ruined or stolen, so you learned to eat fast.
…But maybe I could learn to savor things slower for once.
Tidying up everything else, shoving all the trash into the paper bag, I snapped my fingers to create a spark of electricity, igniting the contents and burning away the detritus. Stomping out the embers, I walked over to the ledge of the building and looked out at Gotham.
Despite the recent War Games (And wasn't that a hell of a thing to find out you missed), Gotham seemed no different from before that time She became her own land, beholden to no man. Of course, things have changed. That nice bakery that tossed the old bread out in plastic bags was gone, completely destroyed; Park Row Public Library signature oaken doors had black burns, scars that only ever added character to the story; there were so many changes and I'm sure that I would only find more in the coming days, but…
Her Heart still beat the same; Her Song still played.
Taking a sip, I watched as Batman and Robin finally gave up on finding me, using their grapples to hook and swing away into the night.
Hell yeah, let my victory taste like a strawberry milkshake.
It was kinda funny, giving them the good old roundabout. They may have wanted to talk, but I wanted to eat, so I had tricked Robin into laying the food away. Naturally, I snatched it and then ran, but the Batman had some way of tracking me, so I had to run again. I had been lucky enough to sense that he had been closing in on me the first time.
While I appreciated the money he left me, I did not appreciate the tracker. Fucker stuck it onto the fries! I mean I ate the fries, but there was probably weird Bat-cooties or something on them.
I had tried running away again, but they kept on following, so I decided to choose the Clocktower to hide at. Or the construction site where they were rebuilding the Clocktower. That was a helluva thing to find out when you're on the run from the Bat.
The construction site was great for hiding from the Bat and his Robin. I may have cheated by using [黙] to completely cancel out any sound I made. After sticking the tracker onto a random truck, I had just hid from the dynamic duo by just… following behind them. Not behind
behind them, but any place that they looked over, I slipped into. They backtracked a few times, but I was just too good for them, and
they were on a time limit.
Everybody knew the Bat only ever patrolled at night. All I had to do was outlast them, and I did.
What's that poem?
All the world will be your enemy,
Prince of a Thousand Enemies.
And if they catch you,
they will kill you.
But first, they must catch you.
And then the rest is about running and hiding and stuff. I don't know. I'm not that good at memorizing stuff, but I always thought it was cool. Good advice to live by too when in the Beast Realm. Sure, it's full of the tought and most vicious fighters of all parts of the world of all sorts of history, but the adage remains true. All you had to do was run to survive.
…I think I got too used to running even before I died and went to the Beast Realm. I was a coward who ran away in the most final of ways, during the time of No Man's Land. In my defense, it was a scary time for a kid, but… I still ran, still gave up.
…But now, I'm back and I have an awesome strawberry milkshake, brought with the Bat's own money! Honestly, there's only so much one can dwell on regrets and bad shit before you just start laughing at how angsty you're being.
I used to hate it here, you know. It's so easy to hate Gotham when you're there, but when you're away, you miss Her. Miss her horrors, miss her hauntings, you miss Gotham when you're away from Her.
There's a Song in Gotham, unlike anything. It's haunting, horrifying, a chorus sung and filled with regrets, played by gunfire and screams, and it's violence. A violent tune that plays low until its not, just constantly there to remind you.
But… It's also welcoming. There's a nostalgia here, a timeless theme to Her Song, and when a rare moment of peace comes, one can
feel Her heartbeat, can feel why you stay.
She doesn't care particularly for anyone,no favorites nor hated in her souls, but Her apathy is forgiving of everyone. The wretched and the rotten; the monstrous and the marvelous, her embrace is for all. Welcome wolves and sheep, and you shall only find wolves, but the desperate still come, still live here.
Perhaps that's just me philosophizing, but suffering is senselessness and one cannot help but try and find meaning in the meaningless. There must be a reason for pain; there must be a reason to stay, aand I think that reason is that Gotham accepts all.
Gotham's song is sung by the passionate living; a dazed, crazed desperation as a chorus but that potent tune was a heady, hopeful prayer for acceptance of any sort by those mad enough to come here, to stay here. And She would accept all.
Maybe I'm assigning something too human to a city, but She knows what it's like to be abandoned after all. By America, by the world, time and time again, she has been cut off, isolated, and she knows what it's like to be abandoned; so she accepts all, the weak and the wicked, uncaring if the wicked devour the weak.
Sipping my milkshake, I leaned back against the gargoyle and looked. My senses, even before my stint in the Beast Realm, had always been special. I could… see things that others couldn't, hear things that others couldn't, and it had scared me then.
Now? Now, it's just another layer of depth to Gotham, and death had only added clarity to everything. The spirits are diminished, wisps that differ only from the mist and smoke in that they occasionally had a face that made a gasping, grasping emotion. Some mingled through the crowd, walking through the living, following patterns in life even in death.
From so high above, I couldn't tell who lived or who died, I just saw the cycle of the city. Holding my drink up high, I felt like an empress of old, mockingly giving a toast to the plebians.
Hearing the other side… hearing the undertone of the song of Her other side was to hear tales of regret and wistfulness; the dead hold oh-so many regrets, so many tragedies and dead wishes and missed chances that it would age the young with all the lamentations of what could have been, should have been, what might have been.
A liminal thrum to guide the mind meandering.
It was all stupid senseless ramblings of faded and fading spirits who should just move on, but there's lessons to learn there; something fragile in the hope that something ephemeral may stay eternal.
It should be easy to hate Gotham, should be easy, but… She accepts everything, forgives everything.
Or perhaps there is nothing there. Just endings that are rarely happy and beginnings that are often sad.
She is simply a city. Maybe there is no spirit to be found beyond the mournful dead and the grieving living.
Hah. Look at me being introspective, but gods, a time to be alone with your thoughts was gift too often scorned. I felt as if I was a newborn child, and in some ways I was. I had no worries, I had just come to this world anew, and the only difference was that I had a soul weighed by memory.
Once upon a time, Her Song scared me both the over- and undertone. I grew up in fear, huddled in terror, and was so often
lonely. Her Song drove me mad all those years ago. I was a special kid, in the head and in the soul, and I always knew more than I should, and Her Song had been a constant, pressing weight back then.
It was… lonely back then, and well… I was weak. I ran away once, ran away by walking off the edge from this life to the afterlife to find silence back when Gotham first became No Man's Land.
It was lowkey kinda fucked up that suicide was considered a sin. Imagine punishing someone who just wanted to escape violence by… tossing them into a realm of violence. What a cosmic karmic comedy. There was something to the madness though because my time in the hell that was the Beast Realm had been good for me, helped me reexamine my priorities, helped me become stronger.
That or I just broke in a way that could shamble along a shy bit better on the road of life. Either way, I'm glad I had been there and glad that I'm back because if only because I realize why Gotham is beautiful.
Gotham welcomes all, uncaring of sin or virtue, regret or hope; She welcomes all.
Wasn't that a tragedy? Wasn't that a blessing?
…Or maybe I'm looking for a way to forgive my stupid past self for jumping off and tossing me into that shitstorm. Searching for meaning in the meaningless and all that.
Popping the cap off the milkshake, I poured the last of it into my mouth before licking the insides. There was only so much poetical philosophizing one could do before they got peckish, and Batburger™ does good milkshakes.
Not many get to enjoy another chance at life, so I best seize it with all I have. I had wasted my life last time and came back only through the sacrifice of… another and the mercy of the Buddha. There was life to live and I who was once weak was finally strong enough to carve out my little slice of joy.
Now what to do next?
=====
AN:
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