Puella Magi Momo Magica

[Shinobu Oshino]

Episode 5: All Work and No Play​

"You never really change, do you?"

I hear Mami-onee-chan talking downstairs. It's less 'talking', and more 'yelling' since I can hear it from my room. I inch closer to my door, making sure not to make a sound.

"Why would I?" That's Onee-chan's voice. Onee-chan is here!

"For the people around you?"

"Too much work," Onee-chan says, probably biting into whatever snack she brought with her.

"If you think that's work, try being in my shoes," Mami-onee-chan sighs. "Worrying is part of the job."

"Then stop worrying. You'll save yourself wrinkles."

"It's not that easy," I hear cups clink upon the glass table. She must be serving tea.

"Sure it is! Just live your life a little dangerously. It'll work wonders."

I really want them to stop fighting. It doesn't look like they're fighting yet, but I know it's bound to turn into. I fling the door open and sprint down into the dining room. "Onee-chan!" I lose all reason to hide. I leap into her arms.

"Ah, Momo!" Onee-chan quickly sits up to catch me. "What's wrong?"

"You're safe. You're safe!" I rub my head into her stomach. "I'm so relieved," I dry my dampening eyes on Onee-chan's sweater.

"Hey, what's with that look?" Onee-chan says, staring across the table.

"Nothing," she responds by sipping her tea with a pinky up. "You finally joined us, Momo-chan. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," I nod fervently. "Is breakfast ready?"

"Pancakes are still in the pan," Mami-onee-chan sets her cup down lightly onto the table. She sits up and makes her way to the kitchen. Afterward she returns with a stacked plate. It clangs onto the table in front of me. "Help yourself!"

"Thank you," I clasp Onee-chan's hand. "I need a seat."

"Huh?" her mouth goes agape. "You're not a kid anymore, Momo. You don't need me to--"

I sit myself on her lap, regardless of her protests. She tries to shove me off slightly, but I sit myself down snugly into her lap.

"Why are you so heavy?!" Onee-chan protests. "Oi! Listen to me!" I start eating Mami-onee-chan's delicious food amidst her screams.

"I think this is Momo-chan's own way of getting revenge on you," Mami-onee-chan laughs. "I think it's cute."

"Cute nothing. What have you been feeding this girl? I don't think she was this heavy last I seen her."

"Not anything more than you eat, Sakura-san."

"Sakura-san?" Onee-chan frowns, reaching for my fork full of pancake. "You know, we've known each other for a long time now. Why are you still so formal?"

I rip it away and shove it into my mouth, "That's right, Mami-onee-chan. You two act like you're married."

Mami-onee-chan chokes on her tea. She clears her throat, straightening herself out. "I-I don't think that's true…"

"You two even have matching rings," I glance at Onee-chan's at red ring.

"That's… not really the same, Momo-chan," Mami-onee-chan takes another sip from her cup, despite the threat of choking again.

"I see," I finish the first hotcake. Onee-chan pilfers a piece of the second, quickly stuffing it into her mouth. I want to fight her over it, but I know I shouldn't. I'm just happy that she's back.

I want to talk to her more, to be with her more… but what she said to be that night. It's still on my mind.

[_] Talk to Kyouko.
[_] Put it off til later.
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

That dream I had last night had nothing to do with my family, but it was still scary. I was alone, cold, and scared. The church was filled, but they were all the same. All scared, all waiting, all yearning.

My fork stops just before my mouth.

"Onee-chan," I look up to her chin. "I feel lonely when you're not here."

"Where did this come from?" Onee-chan quirks a brow. "You've got Mami over there to keep you company. I don't always have to be--"

"I love Mami-onee-chan, but I love you too," I set the silverware down onto the table. "That night you left…"

I remember her screaming 'tell me how you really feel'. She wanted me to hate her, she wanted someone to blame her. But even after all that, I can't bring myself to do it. To be honest, I didn't even try to. There's no justification for it. There's nothing that Onee-chan could do that would ever make me hate her.

"Dad's choices were his. What he did that day…"

"Momo, you can stop," Onee-chan places a hand on my head. "You don't have to bring that up."

"I do," I clench my hands. "I don't want it to happen to you too."

"Don't want what to happen to me?"

The night. The flames. The pool of blood. Mom's weight on my body.

"You blame yourself for everything. There's…" two of us. No, that's wrong. "There's three of us here, Onee-chan. We can share the weight. You're not alone!" I stand up, looking down to her. Tears form, but I wipe them away. This isn't the time to cry.

"I thought about it," I dig deep for the strength to say these words. It was a wish I wanted to make long ago, but now it's a far off memory. "Kyubey offered me a contract. He said I could bring Mom and Dad back."

"Momo-chan…" Mami-onee-chan clasps her hands together.

"I said no. I've said it over and over again," I clench my hands. "Because I have a new family. It hurts, I miss them every day, I miss everything we used to do together. I miss our home, I miss the church, but it's all gone now."

Something breaks. I try to keep the tears inside, I fight it, but it's too late. I have to keep talking or I'll lose myself in the grief. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault, Onee-chan. I know you're in pain… because I am too."

That dream with Onee-chan turning into a witch. If it was really a dream, if it wasn't, I can't say for sure. But if I can be Onee-chan's pillar, if I can stop that from happening by tearing away at my own heart… it's fine.

If I can do just the smallest kindness for everything that she's done for me. If God will let me, please. I just want this fraction of happiness.

For both of them. I would do anything.

"Hahahaha," Onee-chan laughs. "Oh wow," she puts a hand over her eyes. "We've really raised some kid, huh, Mami?" I can see drops running down her cheeks. "I think she takes after you more than me," she has a toothy smile, but I know it's painful for her. Painful for her to hear these words.

"Don't talk like that, Sakur-... Kyouko-chan," Mami-onee-chan corrects herself, stepping forward to embrace the two of us in a hug. "It's fine, I'm here. Cry as much as you need."

"Dammit, Mami," Onee-chan clasps our shoulders. "Dammit all," for the first time since I've lived here, Onee-chan was able to cry.

Not like the girl she pretended to be, but as my older sister. As the girl that I grew up with. As the girl that made that wish to help our family in our time of need.
____________________________________________

We all sat back down at the table after calming our nerves. There was a still silence, with Onee-chan staring down at the floor.

My pancakes got cold, but I still managed to finish them. Even after all of this, I didn't want to waste one bit of food.

"Momo-chan," Mami-onee-chan held out a wet rag.

"Oh, thank you," I wipe my face then scoot over to Onee-chan. I start dabbing her cheeks before moving to her forehead.

"You're too good to me, Momo."

"I'm your little sister, silly. This is part of my job," I laugh lightly, trying to lift the mood. She just nods, not resisting my attempts to wipe her face.

"Mami, I'm going to crash at your place for a while. Is that fine?"

My face brightens up, "Really, Onee-chan?"

"You don't have to ask, Kyouko-chan. My home is your home."

"Uh," Onee-chan's face burns bright red. "C-can you not call me that all the time?"

"Oh?" Mami-onee-chan laughs. "It's awkward for me too. It's going to take some getting used to for the both of us."

"Y-yeah," Onee-chan coughs into her hand. "Well, whatever. What are we doing today?"

"I think we should leave that up to Momo-chan."

"Huh?" I blink. "What's going on?"

"We were talkin', and, well… I wanted to make it up to you. Sorta," Onee-chan' scratches the back of her head. "So I wanted to spend the day with ya. You know, like a big sister should."

"I'm coming along too," Mami-onee-chan giggles.

I know I shouldn't think it, but it almost feels like I'm trapped in a dream.

[_] Go hang out at the park.
[_] Go walking around the city.
[_] Go to the mall.
[_] Go to the Sakura Church.
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

"Let's go to the mall!"

"The mall?" Onee-chan smiles. "Alright, I know just the place!"
________________________

Mitakihara Mall, Arcade



"Been awhile since I've been here," Onee-chan walks forward, her hands in her pocket. "What are you two doing? Come on, let's have some fun."

"Sakura-san, I'm not really one for video games," Mami-onee-chan sighs. "But I suppose it's fine. We're here for Momo-chan, after all."

"Yep. Momo loves games, right?"

"I've never really played them."

"Oh," Onee-chan scratches the back of her head. "Right… well, it isn't too late to share the love."

I nod. All the stuff in here looks really colorful. I've heard of that whacking mole game, and those games where you have to shoot guns. There's one with a plastic car seat too! I walk forward to play the game, but I stop. "Midori-san?"

"Momo?" she perks up, lifting her hands from the steering wheel. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with my Onee-chans."

"Your 'Onee-chans'?" she quirks a brow. "Oh, I get it. Hey Tomoe-san!" Midori-san waves, then she freezes up, eyes locked onto Onee-chan.

"Midori-san?" I wave a hand in front of her face. "What's wrong?"

"What's up?" Onee-chan gives Midori-sana cursory glance. "What's wrong with her? You okay, girl?"

"I met you in Asunaro! You were Momo's sister?"

"Asunaro?" Onee-chan puts a pocky stick in her mouth. "Wait, were you that justice freak?"

"Yeah!"

Why did she so readily admit to it? No, wait a second, Midori-san and Onee-chan have met before? I haven't heard anything about...

Ran into a talking blue-head that wouldn't shut up about 'justice' and all that crap.

The magical girl Onee-chan was talking about was, in fact, Midori-san.

"It's a small world after all," I try to hide a smile. "So I don't have to introduce you."

"Nope," Onee-chan bites off half of her snack. "Not at all."

"What about us?" Noa-senpai rears her heads up from behind the arcade machine. Yuu-senpai follows behind her. Ah, right, he wanted me to call him Yuu. I better watch my tongue. I don't want him to be angry at me.

"Hello Noa-senpai, Yuu."

"Who have you been hanging out with, Momo?" Onee-chan eyes me with a furrowed brow. "Mami, keep a better eye on our kid."

Mami-onee-chan has her head in her hands. I comfort her with a shoulder pat since she already looks exasperated.

[_] "Let's go somewhere else. Mami-onee-chan has a headache."
[_] "Let's all play together!"
[_] "Onee-chan, you stay and play. I'll help Mami-onee-chan."
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

Mami-onee-chan probably doesn't want to deal with Midori-san. I like her, but if Mami-onee-chan isn't having fun, I'm not going to have fun. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, Momo-chan," she smiles, but I can see right through it.

"Let's find you a place to sit down, okay?" I grip her hand and walk toward the entrance of the arcade.

"Momo? Where are you going?"

"I'll be back!" I yell out to my sister while escorting Mami-onee-chan.

"What? Okay, whatever," Onee-chan shrugs. Midori-san gives a concerned glance to her friends. I turn my back on them and continue on my way outside of the establishment. I help Mami-onee-chan sit down, lightly petting her hand.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Momo-chan. You didn't have to do that."

"I did," I nod. "It seemed like you were in a lot of pain. Is your head okay?" I try to feel for a fever. Some sweat drops wet my palms, but other than that - I'm not feeling anything.

Mami-onee-chan laughs, "Thanks for your concern. You can go back inside, Momo-chan. I'll just stay out here to get some fresh air."

"Huh? Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

[_] "If I'm not with you, then we're not doing this as a family."
[_] "Okay, if… you say so, Mami-onee-chan."
[_] Start dragging Mami away somewhere else.
[_] Custom

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

"If I'm not with you, then we're not doing this as a family," I yank on Mami-onee-chan's sleeve, stretching the fabric of her white sweater.

She laughs hard, patting me lightly on the head. "You're so kind, Momo-chan. But it's fine. You don't get to spend a lot of time with Sakura-san, do you?"

I hardly see Onee-chan anymore. When I do, she's there, then she's gone. I know she has her own things to take care of, but…

"I keep repeating myself," she says while stretching my cheeks. "You can have fun. Say it with me, okay? I can have fun."

I reach up to Mami-onee-chan's wrists to try to pull her away. Of course, I'm not strong enough. Between my growing embarrassment and the growing crowd of spectators staring, I have to be steadfast. Mami-onee-chan will have fun! No matter what! If I don't stand for it, then no one else will!

"Nuh-uh," I shake my head. I won't lose this fight to Mami-onee-chan's soft hands or her warmth. Her caring heart, her calm demeanor, or her radiant smile. I-I can brave through this! We'll have fun as a family, together!

"You're being really obstinate," Mami-onee-chan blinks in surprise. "You picked this up from your sister, didn't you?" she keeps playfully pulling at my face. I feel my defenses weakening. My legs start to shake, my arms lose their strength in trying to push her away. The desire to hug her continues welling up. I can't give into those temptations. The moment I do is the moment I lose!

"I-I can have…" my mouth moves independent of my will. No! "I can't have fun without you!" Good, I managed to change my approach in the nick of time. How's Mami-onee-chan going to respond to that!? Now my defenses are rock solid--

She lets go of my cheeks. Instead, she places her head close to mine while drawing me into a hug. The softness of her sweater feels like an inviting pillow after a tiring day. My eyelids flicker, but I have to remain strong.

"Hey," I hear Yuu-senpai's voice, but I can't see him since my vision blocked. "Am I interrupt something?"

"Oh, Mamoru-san, was it?" Mami-onee-chan says, loosening her grip on the embrace..

"You remembered my name?" Yuu-senpai sighs. "That'll work. Are you two alright?"

"We're fine," I sit down on Mami-onee-chan's lap. "Thanks for checking on us."

"I don't like it when people are left out," he frowns slightly. "It's pretty obvious you don't like the kind of chaos those two bring about."

"Ah," Mami-onee-chan sighs. "You noticed?"

"Hard not to," he cracks a smile. "I'm the same way. Mind if I take a seat?"

"Not at all," she says, scooting us over to the side. "I've been meaning to ask this, Mamoru-san… if isn't too much."

"You want to ask about my situation?" he sighs, running a hand through his disheveled black hair. "I won't lie, it's a pain."

"I'd imagine so. From what I can tell, boys aren't normally part of the equation."

"Apparently they are if you drag them into it," Yuu-senpai balls his hand into a fist, then relaxes his grip. "But I can't really be mad. I'd be worried sick about that girl if I couldn't protect her."

"I'm sure she's capable on her own."

"If she made some other wish, I'd believe that."

"What was her wish?" Mami-onee-chan tightens her grip around my waist.

"For me to protect her," he puts an elbow to his knee, and rests his chin on his palm. "One thing I'm getting ready for bed, the next I'm standing in front of a bunch of guys with knives."

"Oh my," Mami-onee-chan's eyes widen in surprise, her mouth slightly agape. "That's such an honest wish. But because of it…"

"I'm dragged into this whole magical girl business," he scoffs. "It isn't so bad. I got a pretty strong body out of it."

"A strong body?"

"Yeah. I can run pretty fast, jump, and I can fight with the best of them."

"Are you sure it isn't a burden?"

"I said it was pain earlier, didn't I?" Yuu-senpai frowns. "I liked to compete in martial arts competitions before this, but now it's pretty hard. Either it isn't fair or I don't know if I'll end up doing something I'll regret in a sparring match."

"You can't control it," Mami-onee-chan says, looking on with concern.

"Nope. I'm the result of a wish, not some controllable magic like you girls can do," he sighs in resignation, as if saying whatever happens to him, happens to him. "At least that's what that white rat told me."

"That seems to be a terrible fate."

"As I said, it isn't so bad. I get to make sure my screw-up of a girlfriend stays safe," he grins like it isn't really a big deal. "Better than fighting alone and then dying for nothing."

"I don't believe it's for nothing," Mami-onee-chan corrects him. "Every witch beaten, every familiar killed is at least another person saved."

"That's how Midori sees it too. I don't get you justice freaks," he exhales a deep breath. "But I guess it's not a bad way to look at it."

"I wouldn't call myself a 'justice freak'," Mami-onee-chan reprimands him, quirking a brow. "I see your point, though. People look at things in different ways."

Yuu-senpai won't turn into a witch if he keeps fighting. There's nothing keeping him here, in this 'way of life' like a contract, except his love for Noa-senpai. He doesn't have to risk his life for this. Some people come to reasons to keep fighting, like Midori-san striving for her dreams, or Mami-onee-chan wanting to protect other people from monsters. Onee-chan has her own reasons, but she still keeps going, no matter what stands in her way.

"That's admirable, Yuu-senpai," I let it slip, but it doesn't matter.

"Admirable?" he averts his eyes, blushing, caught off guard by the compliment. "It's nothing like that. I'm just living the way I want to live."

"You're interesting, Mamoru-san," Mami-onee-chan chimes in. "Though now that I think about it, do you have an outfit to take with you into battle?"

"What?" Yuu-senpai narrows his eyes, his face getting redder by the minute. "Y-yeah, I can sorta 'transform' so I don't look recognizable."

"We're called 'magical girls', Mamoru-san. You should work hard to look the part too," Mami-onee-chan has a devious smile on her face. I haven't seen her like this in a long time. "What do you think, Momo-chan?"

[_] "I think bullying is wrong. Apologize."
[_] "Yeah, I agree! He should wear a sparkly dress."
[_] "I think he should wear whatever is comfortable.
[_] Custom

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

"Yeah, I agree!" Mami-onee-chan seems strangely enthusiastic about the idea. It's probably best to play along. Sorry, Yuu-senpai. "He should wear a sparkly dress."

"I'm good," Yuu-senpai stands up from the bench, turning away so we can't see his blushing face. "I'm good, thanks."

"I think you would look good, personally, Mamoru-san," Mami-onee-chan encourages him, nodding to herself. I haven't seen her like this in a while. The last time was my birthday earlier this year. I suppose Mami-onee-chan likes to dress people up? "Your frame is relatively thin, too. Fitting in a dress would be easy."

"Have you talked to Noa?"

Mami-onee-chan shakes her head.

"She's said the same thing," he swallows, shaking his head. "Alright, whatever. You're fine. I'm heading back inside."

"Thank you, Mamoru-san."

He gives a two-fingered salute and heads back into the arcade. Mami-onee-chan laughs to herself before patting me on the head. "I'm fine now, Momo-chan. You can stop looking at me like that."

"Sorry," I frown, trying to hide my worry with no success. "Can we, um…"

"Yes, let's go," Mami-onee-chan stands up while grasping my hand. She leads me back into the arcade to meet with the others.
____________________


Onee-chan and Midori-san competed against each other in a dancing game. The two kept going at it while chastising the other. They exchanged playful insults, trying to make the other slip-up so either could claim victory. Onee-chan beat her a majority of the time, but Midori-san managed to pick up a victory or two.

Noa-senpai and Mami-onee-chan, on the other hand, mostly talked about fashion. She mentioned the talk she had with Yuu-senpai about putting him in a dress. The two hit it off from there, discussing the kinds of things that would look good. I had no idea what they were talking about, so I sat on a chair nearby while everyone else was having fun.

I was honestly happy. Everyone could enjoy themselves. I was a little lonely, but that didn't matter. The only thing I needed to see was everyone's smiling faces.

"You alright?" Yuu-senpai someone managed to escape the combined forces of Noa-senpai and Mami-onee-chan. That was admirable! "You're over here by yourself."

"I'm fine," I nod. "I'm just watching Onee-chan and Midori-san," I point to the two girls hopping about on the game's platform. "They're really going at it."

"Midori's competitive," Yuu-senpai shrugs. "And stubborn."

"Onee-chan's beaten her quite a lot."

"I just said she's stubborn. She won't give up, even if she passes out."

"I'm not sure that's healthy," now I'm concerned about her health.

"Don't worry too much about it," he grins, eying Noa-senpai and Mami-onee-chan with a quirked brow. "You've got your own hands full."

I shake my head, "You should be saying that to Mami-onee-chan. I'm the one living with her."

"You honestly seem like the responsible one."

I wave my hands in front of my face, dismissing the compliment. "No, Mami-onee-chan does her best to take care of me," I laugh nervously. "If anything, I feel like I'm a burden sometimes."

"If she's that happy around you, that's definitely not the case."

"I suppose you're right," I sigh.

"Stop putting so much pressure on yourself," Yuu-senpai leans against a black arcade machine, slipping his hands into his pockets. "A little too young for that kind of thing."

[_] "I can't really afford to be a kid like that."
[_] "I have to for Onee-chan's sake. If I don't, who will?"
[_] "Maybe I should try to enjoy myself…"
[_] Custom

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

"I have to for Onee-chan's sake," I ball my fists and stare at the older boy. "If I don't, who will?"

"It's not up to me how you live your life," Yuu-senpai doesn't try to dissuade me. Instead, he looks down in resignation. "Just offering some advice."

"Oh," I frown. "I see. I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound mean."

"It's fine. You're young, you're supposed to talk like that."

"You sound like an old man, Yuu-senpai."

"Tch, didn't I tell you not to call me that?" he scratches the back of his head. "Whatever," he says with a shrug. He doesn't bother to put more effort into correcting me. The two of us spend the rest of the time at the arcade watching our two 'families' talk amongst each other.

Midori-san and Onee-chan continue being competitive, even cracking jokes and smiling all the while. Mami-onee-chan and Noa-senpai continue getting along, though once their conversation exhausts itself, the two of them part ways.

We say our farewells and head home from the mall.

"Are you honestly going to put that boy in a dress?" Onee-chan starts talking as the sun starts setting. I stare up at the sun's reflection off of the nearby glass buildings. The refraction dyes the sidewalk a deep red hue.

"Partly," Mami-onee-chan answers with a smile. "If the opportunity presents itself, I won't say no."

"I see," Onee-chan quirks a brow, turning toward me. "Did you have fun today, Momo?"

"I did," I nod. Seeing everyone happy today lifted my spirits. We didn't have to worry about the future. The only thing we had to think about was 'now'. If these moments could last forever, I'd want them to. Of course, I wouldn't make a wish for it. We have to keep going forward. That's just how we are. "I want to do this again sometime."

"Yeah, I need my revenge."

"But didn't you beat Chiba-san quite a bit?"

"Yeah, but she still beat me. I can't go out like that. I'm not that kind of girl."

"You can be quite petty when you want to be, Sakura-san," Mami-onee-chan giggles into her hand.

"H-hey," Onee-chan blushes, looking off to the side.

"It's fine, I'm not judging you," Mami-onee-chan says with a grin. "I find that side of you cute, Sakura-san."

"HEY," Onee-chan's face flushes red. "Hey, we're not doing that. The joke's over."

"Joke?" Mami-onee-chan blinks, tilting her head with a pointer finger jabbing her cheek. "I didn't know this was a joke."

"That's cruel, Mami-onee-chan," I say, poking Onee-chan in the side to check on her. She pets me on the head and stares at Mami-onee-chan.

"I suppose so," she lets out a laugh. "I'm sorry, Sakura-san. I couldn't resist."

Onee-chan lets out a hefty sigh, "Whatever, dial it down next time you want to make a joke like that."

"I'll try."

The three of us head home after a long day of play.

End of Episode 5​

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

Interlude 6: Magia Revolution​

The city turned to rubble. Everything around us, destroyed in the midst of battle against the strongest witch, Walpurgisnacht. I'm helpless. I stand there, staring up at the catastrophe embodied by total despair.

Onee-chan died protecting me. Mami-onee-chan, too. She's gone. She told me to live, to run away, to keep going. I couldn't do anything. I wasn't allowed to contract. Even in the end, after losing them, I couldn't do it.

"Homura-chan," Madoka-san clasped her hands. I knew how she felt. I wanted to help. I wanted to, but… I couldn't bring myself to wish. Even now, their words echoed in my mind.

Keep fighting as your, Momo-chan.

You don't need that kind of power, Momo. Your smile's enough, got it?

I had my own strength. My own power. Being myself, having a future… that's all they cared about. The fact I couldn't return their love… it hurt.

"I don't think Homura can win this fight, Madoka," Kyubey stood atop a piece of rubble, looking down at Madoka-san. "You can help. You can become the strongest magical girl."

"Kyubey…" Madoka-san held her hand to her heart. "I…" she looks to me, then back to Kyubey. "Momo-chan."

"Huh?" I wipe away my tears. "W-what?"

"What do you want?"

I go wide-eyed. "What are you talking about?"

"You can't become a magical girl, right?" she tries to smile, placing her hand on my head. "I'll be a magical girl in your stead."

No. No, please don't.

"Homura-chan… she can't fight alone, so I have to help her. I have to protect her too."

"I want… my sister. I want to be with Onee-chan. I want to be with Mami-onee-chan. I want to be with them forever." No. I know now this is a dream. I'm not talking. These words aren't mine. These tears are mine, but not those words. Not that wish. I want that, I feel that, but not enough for someone to sacrifice themselves.

Madoka-san smiles, "I wish I could be that honest." She takes in a deep breath, relaxing her muscles. "Oh, not that wish," she laughs, trying to make me feel better. "You heard Momo-chan, Kyubey."

There's a bright light.

There's an explosion…

And then the dream-- no, the alternate life of another Momo ends.

I stare at the roof of my familiar room. I stare at my hands, blurred by tears. The dreams. Everything.

I understand. I understand that pain is real, that Momo was real.

What am I? No, who… am I?

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

Episode 6: The Burdens We Bare...​

I can't talk to anyone. I can't cry to anyone. What is this pain? It's mine, but it belongs to someone else. These dreams have shifted into nightmares. A Momo that's me but 'isn't' me? I don't understand. I don't think anyone can answer these questions.

My hands shake, my legs quiver. I hug my legs, but the pain doesn't stop. It's still there, beating in the back of my mind.

Does that mean when I stop, when I see myself … dying… that is…?

That's real? It isn't my mind playing tricks? That pain.

"Oh no," I close my eyes. I have to keep it out. The red. The blood. The pain. I have to keep it out.

It isn't going anywhere. I open my eyes.

Fire. My father hanging. His corpse swinging back and forth. The creaking boards. The snapping. Mom's lifeless body crushing me. The smoke suffocating me.

My heart beat echoes. It throbs against my ear drums in an erratic rhythm. It gets louder. Louder.

Louder.

I shake my head. I rattle it. It doesn't cease.

"Please, God," I take a deep breath. "Make it stop. I've done my best. I keep doing my best. Make it… stop."

It's the middle of the night. I keep quiet. I don't want to wake Mami-onee-chan. I close my eyes. I put this far out of my mind, but it returns. Each tick of the clock is an eternity of torment. A shadow forms out of the edge of my vision. Its neck is bent like a straw, wearing my mother's face. She draws close, pressing herself up against my stomach as flames soon engulf her.

If I could make a wish. Just one wish. It was that this was a Witch's doing. I wish that I could escape my own head. This has happened before. These spells… but… never like this. Never this real.

Crying won't help. Screaming won't help. No one can help. I stop shaking and hold my pillow over my head.

The night continues, and the throbbing doesn't stop.

_________________

…

I never got back to sleep. I couldn't draw the strength to get out of bed. I was supposed to spend time with Onee-chan today, but can I?

I want to make breakfast with Mami-onee-chan, but do I have the right?

That was me. It was me, but not 'me'.

Where do all of my sins go? Who pays for them?

[_] Madoka-san
[_] Midori-san
[_] Onee-chan
[_] Mami-onee-chan
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

No one. No one has to pay for them. It's not my fault, it's not Mami-onee-chan's fault. Things happened as they happened. I don't need to blame myself for something I don't know I did. I know those dreams, those… images are real. They happened, but I don't know how or when. I don't know why it's me to begin with.

I don't think I can talk about this to Mami-onee-chan or Onee-chan. They'll comfort me and take the time to see if I'm okay… but I don't want to worry them. I don't want to be that kind of a burden. They're magical girls, they have other responsibilities.

There's three of us here, Onee-chan. We can share the weight. You're not alone!

I told Onee-chan that she wasn't alone, but now I want to keep something from them. Does that make me a bad person? A hypocrite?

I stare at the foot of my bed. I will my arms and legs to move. The struggle to budge just an inch makes things even harder.

"You can make it all go away, Momo, " Kyubey sits there on the window sill, tail swinging back and forth.

"... Are you doing this to me?" I sigh.

"No," Kyubey scratches his face with his paw. "But you seem to be in a lot of pain. I thought I could help."

"I'm not interested in your help," I narrow my eyes at the white rabbit. "You don't really take no for an answer, do you?"

"I don't want your potential to go to waste," he finishes licking his paw before kneeling down to rest his head. "You're very strong."

"I am?" I heard this before. I have a lot of latent magical power. What's the reason for that? I push my covers off, taking a seat on the side of the bed. "Why me?"

"That's a good question," Kyubey tilts his head. "Magical girls draw power from their karma. Girls destined to carry weight in the world would logically be stronger than a normal middle school girl," discontent with his spot in the window, Kyubey leaps down onto the floor. "It's the same for Madoka Kaname as well."

I knew Madoka-san was a magical girl candidate, as well as Sayaka-san. What Kyubey said was true, that magical girls are destined to become witches. A witch is the matured form of a magical girl. "Kyubey," I close my eyes. I'm not angry now, or sick, I'm just tired. If this is what my life is going to become, I'd rather be numb to it than tortured. "What would happen if I were to contract? What kind of witch would I become?"

"You would become a great witch!" he feigned excitement, his tail wagging excitedly. "I don't know how strong you would become, but I hypothesize you could consume the entire world with your barrier."

This is a dream. None of this could be real. I don't really exist here. I'm just an observer watching this dialogue unfold.

"The world?" I mumble.

If Madoka contracts, the same thing would happen. Countless people would lose their lives. No one would be able to fight against something like that. I wish none of this was real. I wish I was still struggling to sleep.

My legs shake. I plant my heels onto the ground, but they keep shaking.

"You're stubborn, Momo," hearing Kyubey's voice makes me angry. I grit my teeth, trying not to scream. I don't want everyone to see me like this. I don't want anyone to know this horrible secret… but if I don't tell them, it will get worse.

I know things will get worse. If my dreams are any indication, the other 'me's suffered. That pain was real.

I have so many questions that won't be answered, but I know what I have to do now. I can't let Madoka-san or Sayaka-san become magical girls. I can't let Mami-onee-chan or Onee-chan become witches. They've saved me so many times, so now it's time that I returned the favor.

I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'll find a way without depending on Kyubey. I'll have to do it with my own power.
________________

Mami's Apartment



I sit down at the table in the living room after enjoying Mami-onee-chan's breakfast. She must have headed to school early, so she left me a plate. She never enjoys leaving leftovers, but sometimes it can't be helped. I was supposed to spend time with Onee-chan today, but she's nowhere to be seen. I'm all alone today.

Knock. Knock.

I stand from the floor and head over to the door. The peephole shows Yuu-senpai standing beside Noa-senpai holding a box.

"Is anyone home?" Noa-senpai knocks on the door again.

I pull back the latch, opening it for the two of them. "Hello, Noa-senpai and… Yuu."

"You're getting it," he laughs. "Is anyone here?"

"Mami-onee-chan is at school," I take another look around the room to make sure I'm right. "Onee-chan left too."

"You're here by yourself?" Noa-senpai places a hand over her mouth. "That won't do. You're too young to be home alone."

"I don't think so," Yuu-senpai scratches the back of his head. "I was left home alone when I was ten. Momo seems capable."

"You looked like a thug when you were a boy," Noa-senpai says, removing her shoes as she steps into the apartment. "I don't think you were in any danger. Momo-chan is a dainty girl though."

"A thug?" I tilt my head. "Yuu-senpai is handsome, though."

"Momo," Yuu-senpai shakes his head in lament. "Almost. Anyway, are you sure we're allowed in here? We were kind of a hassle last time."

"I don't see any problem with it," I blink. "I was going to study and exercise today, but beyond that…" I thought about my plans with Onee-chan and my lack of sleep. I end up letting out a yawn.

"Didn't sleep last night?" Yuu-senpai follows after his girlfriend, removing his shoes as he takes a seat on a cushion near the table.

"No," I shake my head. "It was hard."

"Hard to sleep?" Noa-senpai begins preparing tea with the packets that Mami-onee-chan left out for me. "Did you take anything to help it? Are you sick?"

"I don't know," I want to cry, but that's what I always do. Is there nothing else I can do? Outside of contracting, what do I have? I don't want to burden Noa-senpai and Yuu-senpai with my worries, but… I think they know. They are Midori-san's friends, after all, so they should know about witches. "I'm having a lot of bad dreams lately. Dreams that feel too real."

"You look like hell," Yuu-senpai scratches his forehead. "You didn't look too good at the arcade either, to be honest. Are you forcing yourself?"

"No," I shake my head. "I had fun yesterday. Thank you for checking on us."

Yuu-senpai averts his eyes. "It's not a big deal. Anyone would've done it."

"Yuu is a sweetheart. He doesn't like to show it," Noa-senpai pours a cup of tea and slides it toward me. "Just a big ol' softy!" she emphasizes while sliding another cup to Yuu-senpai.

"Shut it," Yuu-senpai voices his complaint while sipping tea. "... Huh, you got quite the place here," he eyes the apartment complex, from the living room to the kitchen in the back. "Seems expensive. Does Mami have a job?"

I shake my head, "No. This apartment belonged to her parents."

"Oh," he raises a hand. "You don't have to explain. It's my bad. I wasn't thinking. I should've known. She is a magical girl, after all."

I refuse the apology, "No, you didn't do anything wrong."

Noa-senpai frowns, tapping her own cup with a finger. "A family, huh? That must be nice…"

"Huh?" we turn toward Noa-senpai.

"Oh no," she vehemently shakes her head. "I didn't mean to say that out loud. I'm sorry."

"You're funny, Noa-senpai."

"I don't try to be," she eyes her reflection in the tea. "I want to set a good example for people, but with people like Midori, it's a tad hard."

"Midori-san is a good person. I think you're doing a good job."

"When she bullies me so much, I'm not so sure," Noa-senpai laughs nervously. "She means well, I know, but… sometimes I wonder."

[_] Discuss the dreams and the idea of 'other Momo's'.
[_] Talk about Witches. See what their take on it is.
[_] Ask about Midori-san's whereabouts. What is she doing?
[_] Custom