Puella Magi Momo Magica

[Shinobu Oshino]

W-was this an earthquake? The building wasn't shaking hard enough for that, I don't think… but earthquakes come in different levels. That thing called the richter scale. If it is an earthquake, then I should get under the table. I crouch low, then look up.

The table is made of glass.

This isn't a good idea. I move toward the entrance since that's the next place to be. I crouch low and protect my head.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

My ears ring. So hard that I'm getting a migraine. This wasn't a natural disaster. I mean, it was a natural disaster - but not on the level of a calamity. It was human made. That was an instrument. That was a person screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I think it was English, but if it is - I haven't studied to that level yet. It was so garbled that I couldn't make out a single vowel or syllable. It just sounded like screaming… which I think it was. Was this some genre of music? I opened up the door and looked over the balcony.

It was coming from out front. I put my shoes on and made my way to the front entrance of the apartment complex.

There was a girl in black frilly clothes strumming on a guitar. There was a hat on the ground with a few yen coins inside of it.

"Uh," I hesitate, look at the girl, then back up to the apartment.

[_] Go tell the girl she's breaking noise regulations around the apartment.
[_] Go back inside, this wasn't worth the time.
[_] Take this time to talk to her.
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

I was always told to be careful talking to strangers. Dad tried to tell me that everyone deserved to be lent an ear, but there were still people out there that were dangerous. I don't think this girl, even if she is loud, is one of them. "E-excuse me?"

"YES? HELLO?" she was speaking English. English that I actually understood!

"Yes, hello. How are you today?"

"Errrr…"

Did I say something wrong?

"I am very sorry."

"YES? HELLO?"

Was I misspeaking? I frown and bow my head. I wanted to apologize again, but there was the possibility that I'd offend her.

"Uhhhh, I'm not actually fluent. I'm sorry," the girl says as scratches the back of her head. "I mean, hello!" the hand occupying her head flies forward for a handshake. "Are you a fan? Did you come over to donate? I take anything! Really!"

"Oh, I-I see," I'm getting a similar vibe from her that I got from Midori-san's friends. "Not exactly. The apartment shook, so I came down to see what was going on. Part of me thought it was an earthquake."

"Really? That's so cool! I didn't think I could get that loud," the street performer looks down at her guitar and her amp in admiration. "Is that all you wanted to say? In that case, you're sort of interrupting my jam session. I've got more people just dying to listen~!"

If there were people around here, there weren't now. I didn't want to point out that fact, but part of me felt sorry for her.

[_] Stick around and listen. Sympathy is the first step toward God.
[_] There was studying to be done. Best to leave her.
[_] Ask her what she's doing out here on school hours. She seemed pretty young.
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

I don't say anything. Instead, I sit down on the other side of the street so I can show my ears some mercy. The girl seems sad when I step away, but when I take a seat on the sidewalk, she brightens up with a smile.

The screaming continues. I don't understand her use of language or the meaning of the song, but I get what she's trying to convey. Her talent as a musician, I think, is her ability to actually play the guitar. It seems like she's straining her voice to get the sounds she wants. The only thing that'll get her is sore vocal chords.

The performance lasts at least fifteen minutes. I zone out partway through it, but I still listened to a majority of the performance. I give a little clap. She bows repeatedly, probably content after another long 'jam session'.

It takes me a little bit to think of the right word, "That was an earnest performance."

The musician has her eyes on the ground.

"Are you okay, Miss?"

Tears hit the pavement.

"Thank you."

"Huh?"

"I SAID THANK YOU!" her arms go out. I'm pulled into a hug. A tight hug. "From this day forward, you're my NUMBER ONE FAN!"

"I-I liked it, but that doesn't mean--"

"Nonsense! Just for you, I'll come back here tomorrow! The same time, the same place! I can probably write another song if I stay up all night."

"Please, don't ruin your sleeping habits for my sake. You have to get a full eight hours or--"

"YES! THAT'S IT! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

I'm being completely ignored. "Momo Sakura," I pull away from the hard embrace.

"I'm Koharu Taiki, the Darkest Angel!" she throws me a two finger salute while grabbing her guitar and amp. "I promise, I'm coming back tomorrow!" after that she storms down the road without giving me a chance to say anything else.

I was going to ask what she was doing here during school hours.

END OF EPISODE 3​

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

Interlude 4: Flowers​

"Mama! Mama! Look at these!" Momo walked around the trail, picking out whatever colorful plant caught her eye.

"Slow down, Momo. Mom can't keep up," I pulled Mom along at a slower pace than my rambunctious sister. I know she had a hard time with these nature trails, so maybe Momo could be a little more considerate?

"Look! Look!" Momo ripped the flowers from their stems and shoved them into Mom's face.

"Hey, didn't you listen to a thing I just said?"

"It's fine, Kyouko," Mom gave into Momo's pace which was just going to spoil her. "They're very pretty, Momo. Thank you."

There was an assortment of colorful flowers. I was a little jealous, so I started digging up my own bouquet. It wasn't nearly as beautiful as Momo's, but I wanted to do it in my own way. "Here you go!"

"Oh, Kyouko, put those down!" Mom threw her hands forward to rip my present away.

"Huh?" I was confused. I looked between Mom and one of the yellow blossoms I picked.

My eyes locked with a mantis.

I dropped the flowers. They flew along the trail and into the woods, picked up by a small gust of wind.

"Ahahaha!" Momo laughed. Not at me, but at my funny face. I stared at her. I wanted to get angry, but I couldn't. I just got caught up in her laughter. Mom grabbed up what she could of both of our bouquets and combined them. There was no color coordination, but she didn't want to disappoint either of us. It was an assortment of yellows, pinks and reds that didn't match.

The same flowers, the same offering that I'm holding now.

"Here you go, Mom. I hope you like them," I set the flowers down on the grave. "I don't have any right to, you know, be here… You probably hate me a lot. You're probably cursing me right now, telling me to get lost. Telling me that I'm no good, fighting with Momo and letting you die... but I never really listened to you, so why start now?" I grin.

"Momo's doing well. She's living with a good friend of mine. A magical girl. You met her before, Mami Tomoe," I laugh.

No one is listening.

There's no reason to be embarrassed.

No one is here.

I'm alone.

"She's great. Amazing, actually. She can actually take care of Momo," I hold my shoulders and shiver. This sweater isn't enough for this kind of weather? "She's amazing," I look down at the ground. "Not like I'll ever let her know that, though."

Because I'm too stupid. Because I can't say what I mean.

"It's, uh, pretty cold out tonight, Mom. It probably doesn't bother you, though," my vision becomes blurry. My face gets colder. "Yeah, it probably doesn't."

The heat of the fire that consumed my home. That consumed my father, my mother, and my life.

There's no one to laugh at me.

There's no reason to be embarrassed.

I'm alone.

This is my fault.

It's my fault that I'm alone.

"It's…" I clasp my shoulders tight. "It's okay, right, Mom? It's okay to live like this?"

There's no one to laugh at me. There's no one to answer me, either.

I'm all alone.

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

Episode 4: See You Tomorrow!​

"Onee-chan!" I scream. I run forward, grasping at her body. "Onee-chan, please, speak to me. ONEE-CHAN!"

She's cold. Lifeless. Just like Mom was that night… but there's no blood. She's just gone. "Kyubey," I turn to the familiar. "What is this? Please, what happened to Onee-chan?"

"She's matured," he flicks his tail. "It's only natural."

Matured? I didn't understand. I had a feeling I didn't want to understand. "What do you m-mean?" I try not to cry. I can't. That won't help with anything!

"A magical girl's destiny is to grow into a witch."

"Grow into a… witch?" I freeze. I look up at Onee-chan's new form. The world had already changed around me. My home was gone. Everything was on fire. A parade of faceless familiars walking about and on top of Onee-chan's body.

"NO!" I grasp at Onee-chan, pulling her with all the strength I can muster.

I fall to the ground. I hug her tight, hoping to transfer even a little heat to her.

"What are you doing?" Kyubey asks me.

I can't do it. I'm crying. I'm sorry Mami-onee-chan. I'm not as strong as you think I am. I failed you then, I'm failing you now. I'm so sorry.

"Onee-chan…" I'm shaking. I'm crying.

I'm too small.
I'm too weak.
If only I was stronger…

"What are you going to do, Momo?" Kyubey stares at me. I look down at him. I want to open my mouth, I want to 'wish'.

I want to say those magic words: "Bring everyone back."

But…

I can't.

That won't change anything. That's what he wants. So I'll do the only thing that I can do. "Let's go, Onee-chan," I sniffle. "I'll talk some sense into you. Not everything has to be fixed with a wish. Sometimes there are things that you have to fix with your own two hands," I lift Onee-chan onto my back.

She weighs a bit, probably because of all the food she eats… but it's a burden worth carrying. "Wait for me, Kyubey. I'll be back in a bit," I pause, then turn back. "Please… tell Midori-san that I'm sorry."

______________________________________

"Momo-chan?"

"...Huh?" I hear Mami-onee-chan calling me.

"Momo-chan? Are you okay?"

Prod. Prod.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine!" I wipe the drool from my mouth as I sit up from the coffee table. "What happened? How long was I out?"

"I don't know, probably two hours?" Sayaka-san was apparently the one prodding me. "You get any sleep last night? You look horrible."

"I-I'm fine. Just a bad dream," I grin. "D-did I interrupt anything. I'm very sorry. I don't normally fall asleep like this."

"It's fine, Momo-chan. Sleep wherever you want. It's your place, not mine," Sayaka-san shrugs.

I notice that Sayaka-san is here, but her friend isn't anywhere in sight. "Where's Madoka-san?"

"Ah, uh, Madoka is off with the transfer student," she narrows her eyes. "Not sure why, but whatever. Gives me time to study."

"Study?" I look down to see an open campus notebook. There's a page with repeated English words written on it. "Is Mami-onee-chan helping you?"

"Yep!" Sayaka-san seems proud for some reason. "I'll get a passing grade with the esteemed Mami-san's help!"

"Miki-san, please," Mami-onee-chan frowns at the comment. "Get back on track."

"Yeah, right, uh, what was this word again?" Miki-san points at the notebook. The word 'apple' is written there in English.

"Apple," Mami-onee-chan says it perfectly.

"Ringo!" Sayaka-san blurts it out in distorted Japanese. "Like that, right?"

"Are you doing that on purpose, Miki-san?" Mami-onee-chan stifles a laugh.

"Maybe~!"

I want to laugh and join in on the fun, but that dream... was it a dream? It felt a little too real.

[_] Forget it, go get some proper sleep. It's the evening, but still...
[_] Talk to Mami about the dream. It's better to let her know.
[_] Pass the time by helping Sayaka-san study.
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

I know this is a study session to help Sayaka-san, but I don't think I can just hide this from Mami-onee-chan. "Excuse me," I reach a hand out to grasp her wrist. "I had a terrible dream. It was…" I relent. "Onee-chan died."

Mami-onee-chan's eyes go wide. Her jaw goes slack, but she composes herself. "What happened in the dream?"

"Do I need to leave?" Sayaka-san looks between the two of us, nervous.

"No," I shake my head. "It's okay. I'm just… talking about a dream," I want to convince myself of that. It was just a dream. Onee-chan wouldn't die, and magical girls don't turn into witches. Of course nothing like this would happen. "It was in front of the church. Everything before that is blurry, but I held Onee-chan's body in my arms. She was cold. There wasn't any blood, there was… just nothing. She was cold," I can still feel her. I feel her weight.

I look down.

There she is, her eyes closed, her lifeless hands clutching the symbol of Dad's congregation.

No, she's not there. This is a dream again. Onee-chan is alive. She's out there alive, fighting witches, and she'll come back.

"Momo-chan?" I feel someone grip my shoulders. "Momo-chan!" the world shakes.

"Ah," I'm back. "It's okay, Mami-onee-chan. I'm fine… I was talking about the dream."

"You don't have to. It's alright. It was just a dream," Mami-onee-chan embraces me so tight that I can hardly breath. "It was just a dream, Momo-chan."

I appreciate her words, her warmth, but I continue speaking."The church was engulfed in a witch's barrier. Onee-chan transformed."

"Transformed?" Mami-onee-chan reels back. "What do you mean?"

"She transformed into a burning, twisted shell. She became a witch."

Mami-onee-chan's eyes went wide. She looks to the ground and takes in a deep breath. "A dream is a dream, Momo-chan. And you were the victim of a witch attack," she pats my head and ruffles my hair. "I think it might be screwing with your head."

I want that to be true. But it feels like there's something more. "Y-you're right," I nod. "I'm going to go lie down," I sit up from the table. "I'm sorry, Sayaka-san, Mami-onee-chan," I bow to them and quickly make my way to my room.

I close the door behind me.

Mami-onee-chan wants to comfort me. I know that, but I still feel like I'm missing something. Kyubey said in the dream that Onee-chan matured. I just have to ask him what this is all about. He can--

"What's wrong, Momo?"

Kyubey is already at the foot of my bed, his tail swishing.

I hug myself tight. I just have to say the words.

Do magical girls turn into witches.

I have to say it. It's not hard to ask a question. Kyubey doesn't seem like the type to lie if I ask directly.

"Kyubey, do magical girls mature into… witches?"

Kyubey tilts his head to the side, "Where did you hear that from?"

"I had a dream. In it, you told me that magical girls become witches," I speak low so that no one could overhear me. "Is that true?"

"Of course. It's the fate of all magical girls to become witches."

Apparently it wasn't a secret? Then how did magical girls make contracts? Does this mean that Kyubey…tricked them? He lied? He grants their wishes, but he lied. I thought that he was just helping everyone fight back against despair. I thought he was our friend.

"Are you okay?" he didn't care. There was no change in tone. He was detached.

It was a lie.

Heat wells up from inside me. I place a hand on my mouth, but I can't stop it. Vomit trickles through the space between my fingers.

[_] Remain calm. Could I speak to Midori-san about this?
[_] Mami-onee-chan should know about this. It'll hurt, but…
[_] Stay to myself. Nothing good can come of talking about this.
[_] Other

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

I cough into the trash can, making sure not to make too much noise. I breathe heavily while taking out my phone. I feel as though Midori-san might know something about this if she's been hunting witches.

But what if she doesn't? What will happen? I'll have to phrase the question in a certain way. A way that won't get her suspicious of me. The question is… is that even possible? Midori-san seems sharp, I'm sure she'll want to know more when I ask.

No, there's no point in worrying. I have to find a way to help Mami-onee-chan. I have to find out what a magical girl thinks about this.

I grab my phone and leave the room.
_______________________________


"So you wanted to meet here?" Midori-san looks up at the remains of my old home. She's standing with her hands to her side with a nostalgic smile.

"Y-yes," I nod. I try to muster whatever courage I have to talk about what I want to talk about. "It's familiar to both of us, s-so… um," I fidget.

"What's wrong, Momo?" Midori-san grins. "Is this a confession?"

"N-no! Nothing like that!" I wave my hands frantically in front of my heated face. Wait, what am I doing? I have to focus. "Midori-san." I take in a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know where witches come from?"

Midori-san's mouth opens like she's about to say something. Instead, she looks to the side, biting her lip.

"Do you?" I ask again.

"They're curses, right? They come from people's despair," Midori-san faces me, putting on a wry smile. "Kyubey should have told you that already."

That response tells me everything I need to know. "I know the truth, Midori-san," I say this while struggling to hold back tears. If I didn't believe it when Kyubey told me, this was my confirmation. That nightmare wasn't just a nightmare. It's more than that, but I'm not sure what. "About witches and magical girls."

Whatever pretense Midori-san had with the fake smile ended. "I see. How did you find out?"

"I had a dream. A dream where Onee-chan… where she…"

"A dream's a dream," Midori-san cuts me off with a flick of the wrist. "It wasn't just that, was it?"

What did she mean? The events? Or how it made me feel? If that's the case, then it was all too real. Everything about it felt 'real'. Because of that, I talked to Kyubey. Because of that, I feel like this. I don't have any right to suffer like this.

I'm not a magical girl.

I'm not the person that will become a witch.

All I can do is watch.

All I can do is nothing.

"You're kind, Momo," Midori-san walks forward, placing a hand on my head. "Sometimes that's all you really need to be."

I try to look at her face, but her hand keeps me staring at the ground. "You're not making any sense."

"I'm not?" she laughs heartily. "Then maybe you should think about it a bit more, yeah?"

I bring up both hands, pulling her arm off of my head. "Don't tease me!" Midori-san looks back at me with her eyes wide. "I'm sorry, but… but why? Why aren't you in pain? It seems scary. It…" I grip my sides tight. "Why does it have to be like this?"

"Because people wanted power, and there was someone willing to give it," Midori-san ruffles my hair. "It's that simple."

"No, it isn't!" I shake my head. "Magical girls want to help people. They fight themselves! None of this would be happening if it wasn't for--"

"People making wishes?" I'm cut off. "Yeah, it'd be nice if everyone could do anything with their own power, but sometimes that's not how it is."

"But a wish? But fighting like this? That's not right," I finally start crying. I can't hold it anymore. "It's not right!"

My body flies forward into an embrace, "Huh?" I stare up into Midori-san's face, her eyes covered by her blue bangs.

"It's alright, Momo, you don't have to cry."

Her hug steals my breath away.

"Midori-san?" I say that, but she doesn't let go.

"Everyone lives and dies. That's just how life is," Midori-san pulls away from me, smirking like an idiot. "Magical girls just have a few more… options for both." She lets out a pained laugh. "But it doesn't really matter if you try living your life with all you've got."

"But what you fight for. Your wish. Doesn't it all become nothing once you become a witch?" I'm grasping in the dark for answers. With Midori-san smiling like that, it makes it seem like it doesn't affect her. Like she's got nothing to do with it.

"When people die, do you forget about them?" Midori-san says that while looking up at the stained glass windows of the church.

"No," I think of Mom's warm touch and Dad's thoughtful sermons. Memories that I cherish dearly.

"It's the same. What you did as a magical girl doesn't fade away, even if people don't notice it." Midori-san stretches her arms into the air. "Besides, I personally don't do this for recognition. The deed is enough for me."

"I see," I wipe my tears. "You're like Mami-onee-chan. A hero of justice, right?"

"That's one way to put it," Midori-san scratches her cheek nervously. "So, with all this talk about wishes and witches. I want to ask you something now, Momo."

"Yes?" I blink in surprise.

"What would you wish for if you made a contract? Despite knowing what it would lead to, if you didn't know that..." Midori-san swallows. "I mean, what would you wish for?"

[_] "My parent's to come back to life."
[_] "For the power to help my family."
[_] "For your love."
[_] Custom

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

Kyubey has asked me to contract before. I would always think about wishing my parent's back to life, but that's playing God. It's not right. But what else is there for me? I just don't know.

"Think about what you want most in the world, Momo." Midori-san offers me a little guidance. "What is it?"

I picture Mami-onee-chan waiting for me to come home with Onee-chan slouching on the floor. I help Mami-onee-chan with dinner and the three of us eat together like a family. "I want to help my family, and my friends. I want to be there for them in good times and bad."

Midori-san tilts her head, her mouth agape. "Momo. You're really too much, you know that?"

"Huh? I am?" I flinch. Did I not do what she wanted?

"Go bigger than that."

"Bigger?" I think for a moment. "M-maybe your love?"

"Wish for something you don't already have," Midori-san stares daggers at me.

"Ah, okay," I laugh a little. With the tension gone, I take in a deep breath. "I honestly think I'd want to be with my family forever. That way we wouldn't have to be apart. I know we'd still fight, probably, but we'd be able to make up," I close my eyes, trying to picture that kind of life. "Onee-chan never comes home, so I'd be able to see her a little bit more. Mami-onee-chan is home whenever she can be when she's not fighting witches. I'd be able to help her fight, but then there'd be no one left to take care of the apartment." I wouldn't have as much time to study either. I'd have to be a full-fledged magical girl.

Midori-san snickers, "You didn't even think about the fact you'd eventually end up a witch, did you?"

My childish dream ends there. "I-I was just trying to answer your question," I stutter, looking away into the forest.

I see Mami-onee-chan every day. I even see Onee-chan. Sometimes I cry and grieve for Mom and Dad, but I can say for certain that right now - talking to Midori-san - I'm surrounded by people who care about me.

Whatever wish I would honestly make has already been granted.

I know I can't fight like a magical girl, I'm much too weak for that. The only thing I can do is wait for my family to come home safely.

"Actually," I face Midori-san again, smiling. "I don't think I need a wish. I already have everything I want." I walk up to her and clasp her hands in my own. "Becoming a magical girl would make everyone who loves me sad, right?"

"Yeah," she looks at the sky. "It takes a lot of strength to reject a wish, Momo. I imagine you've done it a few times?"

I don't recall ever telling Midori-san about Kyubey's past attempts. "How did you know?"

"Just a guess."

"I have a hard time believing that," I frown.

"Hey, you're making that face again." Midori-san scoffs. "Give me a little more credit. I'm a veteran magical girl."

"You're right, I'm sorry." I clasp my hands behind my back. "Can I ask you something now?"

"Sure, anything."

"When I made that joke earlier… about me already having your love?"

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you love me?" I feel awkward asking this. "We've met a few times. I mean, I hardly know you, Midori-san."

"Because you saved me."

"I didn't do anything like that," I think back to our first conversation here at the church. Midori-san became a magical girl because of me. Her life's been in turmoil ever since she signed her life away. "You told me you didn't like liars, Midori-san."

"I told you before, I don't lie. I might tease, but I don't lie," Midori-san sighs. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Because you said you enjoy living like you are. Even if you know what it means to be a magical girl, then how?" I just don't understand. If she can put her life on the line despite knowing what lies at the end of the road. That has to be a lie.

"Man, you're stubborn when you want to be, aren't you?" Midori-san doesn't take offense to my question, instead she just stretches. "Because when you lose everything close to you, and the only thing you have left is your dreams, you strive for them."

I remember Midori-san's wish was 'making people happy'. Does that have something to do with it? "Your dreams? But you already made your wish, didn't you?"

"Still working toward it," she grins. "Have to keep grasping for what I can't reach."

Ah, that's it.

I finally understand.

"You're an idiot," I want to cry, but I can't. My tears have dried up.

"Yep!" she gives me a thumbs up. "I'm a hopeless fool who'll never have their wish really granted. That's why I have to keep working toward it." Midori-san looks up to the sky with hollow eyes. "That's what life's all about."

I hug Midori-san, throwing my hands around her waist. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to apologize for. You're my inspiration, Momo." Midori-san embraces me in return. "That's why I'm going to do whatever I can to protect you."

[_] "Don't do that, Midori-san, I don't need it."
[_] "I'm counting on you."
[_] "Protect everyone."
[_] Custom

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

"If you want to protect me, Midori-san, you should protect yourself too," I smile. "It would hurt to see you in pain."

"You got it," she pulls back from the hug. "I'll make sure I come back in one piece."

She makes it sound so easy.

"Midori-san," I clench my hands into fists. I want to question her, but I can't do it. It won't get me anything. It'll only hurt more. "Okay."

"Huh?"

"You win. I believe you."

If Midori-san can smile, why can't I? I know it hurts, but it must be hurting her more to see me worried like this. If I'm her ideal, I have to live up to that. I have to be her 'hero'. I'm not a magical girl, I'm not anyone special - but if this is how Midori-san sees me, I have to live up to that image.

I have to be the Momo she remembers.

"Why's that? What changed your mind?"

"Just seeing you happy is enough, Midori-san. That's all I needed." I'm not sure if 'happiness' is the word, but the way she's so self-assured, confident, it's a relief. "I think I should be getting back to Mami-onee-chan."

Midori-san blinks, looks up at the sky, then looks down. "Yeah, it is getting a little late. Want me to walk you back?"

"No, I'm fine." I start walking down the path that leads back to the main road. "I can go home myself. Thanks for talking to me, Midori-san."

"Anytime. I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yes," I nod. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

I wave to her, head home, and go to bed.

END OF EPISODE 4​

 

[Shinobu Oshino]

Interlude 5: Through the Valley

I heard the church bell ringing. That meant it was always time for sermon. People gathered all around to hear the word of God. I remember it clearly. Dad stood behind the podium, like a pillar for the people - like a pillar of faith. He said what he felt he needed to say. Everyone listened intently. No one got up to leave. Everyone stayed forever.

Forever.

That's how it was.

No, that's not it. Everyone left one day. Everyone left, never to come back.

My body is cold. Everything is frigid. The ground, the sea, the air.

I hear the church bell ringing. I'm standing on an ivory shore with water licking at my feet. I'm staring out at the ocean, hoping to see hope. It's not there. It's not something you can see, it's something you yearn for. Something that never comes.

This all feels real, but I know it isn't.

Is it a dream, or is it a nightmare?

I turn back, seeing a cobblestone pathway leading up deep into the black forest. I walk through the valley of trees, through the shadow of death. I'm not scared. I know they're with me. Everyone is with me. I hold my heart tight and keep walking forward.

I hear the church bell ringing.

I press the door open. It creaks loud, but I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

In each pew, in each row, I sit. I look to my left to see a reflection of myself. I look to my right and see the same. Our eyes are gone, our tears bled dry -- yet we still come. We listen to the ringing bell as if something will change.

It's what we do.

It's what we always do.

We want to cry, but there are no tears to shed.
We want to retreat, but there is nowhere to run.
We want to fight, but there is no weapon to wield.

We sit, and wait until the end of the sermon - until the bell stops ringing.