Steve finally nudged the most recent pig out of the way to see the random outsider that had somehow managed to stumble upon his instance, and… Continued to be confused.
Because FIRST of all: The chances of ANYONE finding anyone else, even on purpose, was near zero without the instance 'Seed'. And even WITH knowing the correct one for your friend's place, sometimes you would stumble upon twin or triplet instances with duplicate parallel copies of themselves and only find out when neither you nor your friend could find each other while wandering around.
So the odds that anyone would ever show up here randomly was so astronomically low that Steve hadn't even considered it a possibility. To the point where a pig hive mind entity or a piggy deity seemed a MUCH more logical and reasonable alternative.
Secondly, this new guy was… A bit odd, appearance wise.
Which, possibility of being here aside, shouldn't be THAT unusual. Many people modified or altered their base physical form between 'respawns' to be decorative, or better reflect their nature or personality.
Friends with bodies that were plaid or all blue or something was fairly common, one of his friends liked to look like a grass block (She never explained why), but this dude?
He seemed to be MOVING. Like his skin was just a transient state, one that shifted from an odd pattern of seeds at his feet to what seemed to be fully grown wheat stalks for a face.
…A walking person sized wheat plant with a face. THAT was the guy talking earlier.
The same person who was currently ignoring Steve entirely, as well as the ocean of pigs surrounding them both, while staring intently at a glass box with… What appeared to be a chicken jockey inside of it.
That was likely Sir Zombleton, Chicken Knight of the Glass Death Tube and Potential Eater of Non-existent Brains.
Welp. This was apparently happening. "Hello?"
The living plant/guy/invader/pig god?/outsider/dude blinked and glanced over at Steve. "Had I forgotten to say 'hi' earlier? I could have sworn I had… If so: Sorry about that."
Then he turned back to stare at the trapped baby zombie riding a chicken.
Steve felt the pigs nudge him as he stood there, unsure how to proceed with this… This whatever it was. "So…"
The person hummed?
Uh. "My name is Steve, and this place is my instance… Or at least, this is my main production base that I built ON this instance." That covered it all, right? "Nice to meet you?"
And the wheat dude was looking his way again, but with a smile! "Oh! Hello Steve! My name is John Doe, and THIS is my new local friend 'Sir Zombleton, Chicken Knight of the Glass Death Tube and Potential Eater of Non-existent Brains', or less formally known as 'Zombles the baby zombie chicken knight'! I found him in your giant monster spawning killing thing over there a while ago and now we are friends!"
Zombles was poking the glass box that contained him with a tiny diamond sword, while his chicken was fully unconcerned or caring about it's own current situation.
Huh. "Local friend?"
John nodded. "Yeah, I wanted to bring one of these guys into my Pocket to be my Pocket pal, but uh… It pops them." He waved absently to one side and a DOZEN pigs poofed with an 'Oink'. "Like that. I mean, they don't seem to care much either way, and more spawn from the energy they release over time eventually, but these little guys are just too fragile for me to consider bringing along with me."
Steve stared in shock at the suddenly far less dense pig pile… While the pigs themselves couldn't care less as they oinked their way closer to the walking food person. "What just happened?"
John was staring at Zombles again. "Put 'em in my Pocket. I have to do it every once in a while or the number of pigs becomes pretty much unmanageable. But hey, at least I have a LOT of raw porkchops now… My sister is going to LOVE her future Essence bacon, I just know it!"
The miner stared at the boy (For this was CLEARLY a child)... Then back at the mountain of pigs wiggling their way into this area thanks to the freed up space.
THIS wasn't an 'unmanageable number of pigs'!? Holy crap!
John poked the glass box with a stick. "To be honest, I've given up on trying to find a Pocket pal from this place entirely. Essence material is valuable, sure… But it is far too pure. Too refined." He waved the stick around in the air, idly. "All the history and lore and the feeling of being R̻̰͎͔͍͎̬ea̲l͖̞̲͉̀ is missing. No point in Pocketing any of it for a friend."
So… Pocket in this context probably referred to his inventory? Whatever, focus! "If it is that easy to handle all these pigs, could you get rid of the ones swarming my base outside? I'm already going to have to spend forever making sure they haven't broken anything."
Please be a reasonable person.
John hummed. "Oh? Yeah, no problem. [[
Pocket.]]"
The distant murmur of 'Oink.' and 'Oink?' and 'Oink!' suddenly V̴̰̝͖͚̼a͕̜n̲̺͕͍̟i͟s͉̮͇̪̖͇͠h̲͍͘e̻d̳͇̥̳̲.
It was… Disturbingly quiet all of the sudden. Except for the small crowd of pigs surrounding them both, the entire area felt dangerously and unnaturally still instantly.
The nearest pigs didn't give a shit. "Oink."
And at least they had FAR more room to get close to food dude! Apparently.
John ignored the pink animals that were walking up to him and… Chewing on his back!? What the Nether was going on here!? No, don't ask. "Thank you."
The boy nodded still staring at Zombles and continued to ignore the pink animals that were chomping on him, noticing the OTHER pigs that were eating 'wheat', and then moving aside to generate a new generation of baby piggies.
So.
The new guy acted like an infinite source of wheat, which was used to breed cows and pigs and stuff. And so attracted pigs nearby… Who ate him and then started replicating.
Not that the boy noticed. Or cared. Or seemed injured or even inconvenienced from his body being continuously consumed.
Shit, no wonder his base had been FLOODED with pigs, the child was a walking breeding incident waiting to happen! Steve was just lucky no chickens, cows, mooshrooms(Cows that were half mushroom), or sheep had been nearby when this kid wandered over here!
Hell, if it wasn't thanks to the massive army of pigs, his whole automated production base would have been turned into a BARNYARD!
The child in question just kept poking the glass box with a stick, uncaring about any concerns he himself might have.
But still… "Doesn't that hurt?"
John paused. "Huh?"
He waved at the nearest pigs chewing his hips. "Being eaten like that, doesn't that hurt?"
The child… Blinked yet again. "I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"
Steve pointed at the pig. "Like that little guy."
The boy turned to look at the pig, who lost his chewing spot and suddenly looked confused… Before the child pet the confused animal and turned back to Steve in befuddlement. "What about him?"
Oh for Notch's sake! "THAT guy was eating your bum. Like, just now."
John was set aback by the thought! "WHAT!?" Turning back he stared with suspicion at the still confused pink animal… And hesitated. "Are you sure?" Poking the pig who mostly ignored him, John frowned. "He doesn't seem very bum-eaty."
Steve didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. "How can you not even NOTICE someone eating your bum!? Shouldn't that be a significant event!? At least a minor surprise!?"
John shrugged. "I mean, I only built my new body like a day or so ago and I'm still trying to get used to not having organs and bones and stuff. I'm sure I would have noticed eventually."
Then he poked the pig. "Please don't eat my bum."
And turned back to the glass box, not even twitching as part of his shoulder was eaten by a different pig on his back right side. Not that it seemed to matter.
Whatever, Steve was done with all that. "So what's up with the chicken jockey?"
The stick poked the box. "Hmm?"
Oh, right. "What's up with 'Zombles the baby zombie chicken knight'? Why keep him around?" It'd be easy enough to stab the thing… And to be honest, baby zombies were a touchy spot for Steve. Tiny fuckers were FAST.
John hummed. "Oh, I'm sure I could find some way to find common ground or train him or something… Eventually… But right now I am making sure he doesn't instantly vanish or despawn. You gotta stay fairly close by and be a target, or even a little cutie-patootie like this guy would just puff into raw energy and vanish!"
Steve watched as two pigs nearby suddenly generated a
baby piggy… Then headed back to the plant man for another munch. "Why not just use a name tag? It would stabilize him I think."
And suddenly he had ALL of John's attention! TOO MUCH attention! "Tell me everything."
Uh! "I normally fish up a few
name tags when trying to get something good, you could use one of those I guess? My anvil is over near my storage system, just use it to enchant a tag and you can keep this little monster around without having to stay nearby."
John blinked. "Name tag, huh? Haven't seen one of those yet with my Scanning… Could you go bring me one please? I'm sure I've got SOMETHING you'd like to trade for one. Or I could just duplicate something valuable you already have, or make an amazing ham sandwich or whatever."
Oh, because he didn't want to risk Zombles despawning while they left. "No problem, I rarely use the things in the first place unless I want to name a cat or whatever. Just tell me what to smash onto the tag for a name and I'll head over to the anvil and get things done."
The kid lit up like glowstone, ignoring the pigs nomming on his ankles! "Oh that would be BRILLIANT, thank you! Just 'Zombles' would be fine for him, and 'Cluckles the Valiant Steed' for his ride. If you don't have two name tags, bring me one and I can duplicate it."
Steve was half turning when his mind caught up to that. "When you say duplicate…"
John absently waved a hand. "Essence is so refined and condensed that the pattern is dead simple to duplicate. Oh it takes a LOT of energy to do so, considering how pure the end product is, but shifting one type of Essence into a different one basically cuts most of the cost out entirely."
Seeing the man's shock, the plant boy shrugged. "It's not exactly free or anything, but it only takes a few blocks of basic Essence to craft a more energetic material, compared to the massive amounts of crap I have to refine to generate this stuff if I was using normal junk instead."
Steve felt overwhelmed… "But…" But…
And the plant guy gently pushed him forwards. "Talk later, let's get the name tag thing done so I don't risk Zombles or Cluckles getting evaporated. Alright?"
But… The implications of material conversion compared to automated farms and harvesting systems was just too vast!
Yet it could be discussed later.
Steve absently nodded. "Alright. Be right back"
Note: When getting those tags, make sure to bring back some 'samples' as well. He'd willingly hand over MOUNTAINS of trash cobblestone for a few hassle-free diamonds!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John watched the bewildered guy walk off at a far faster rate than he arrived, considering the number of pigs had drastically decreased since then.
Good. Now… Which one of these pigs was a bum nibbler! Was it YOU!?
A small pink face of innocence defied any concept of guilt. 'Oink.'
…Yeah, it couldn't be THIS piggy. Because this piggy was just so cute and squishy and who's not a bum nibbler? YOU'RE not a bum nibbler! Yes you aren't!
But once Zombles was knighted with his new name through a name tag bestowal ceremony, John was going to get down to the bottom of this! Literally!
No bum nibblers were allowed to nibble HIS bum! He was attached to it!