[NGE] Code Red

[gloomy-moods]

"First, we should be friends."

What had she said the first time? 'Only if I am ordered to'. Even that would not work. It would also start things off antagonistically. Asuka, this Asuka even more than her wife, needed a challenge. Not something she would take as an insult. That did not leave many options. She could ignore the girl. That would be easier. She sighed. Shinji would forgive her for this. Shinji would apologise for this. She would deal with that annoyance later.

She looked up.

"Rei."

"What?"

"My name. Rei to my friends. Ayanami to others. Pilot Ayanami when on duty. Not First. Unless you wish to be Second," and Rei used the derogatory tone Asuka used when she first called her Wondergirl for that final word. There was no way she could ask this Asuka to call her 'mein Wundermädchen' in that soft tone she used between kisses.

"Fine! So what do you say, Rei?"

"On one condition."

"What makes you think you're in a position to require anything of me?" And there was the arrogance. So annoying. So precious. She would miss it when it was gone.

"You desire to be my friend."

She watched Asuka squirm. Perhaps this would be a useful lesson after all.

"Whatever. So what'd you want?"

She tried to remain calm. She had made sure to take all her medications that morning. The sensible thing to say would be "I want you to call me Rei." She knew the right way to say it so it sounded like a demand rather than the plea it really was. But faced with the actual Asuka. Bright and brilliant with the sun reflecting in her eyes so clearly she could imagine her wearing the yellow dress the way Shinji described both first times they met. Looking up at Asuka, her Asuka, calm and sensible slipped through her mental fingers and she said what she really wanted.

"Kiss me," the words were impulsive but even so they came out in the tone she had carefully selected to be somewhere between nonchalant and challenging. She had had an excellent tutor.

Asuka stared at her. It wasn't often she managed to render Asuka speechless. She supressed the smile. Lilith on a stick she missed her wife. Three. Two. One.

"What!? Eww!"

"I was reliably informed you were better at kissing than I am. Prove it."

She watched Asuka closely. There was no flicker of recognition. Bugger. Damn. Fuck. Superheated Goat Excrement. There went the sliver of hope that Asuka remembered.

She closed her book, got up and walked away. Leaving Asuka standing there. She had been wrong. It had been the wrong way to challenge her. She was not running away. It was a brisk walk. Technically it was not running.

---

She was leaning against her locker not crying. Her hormone balance was off. This body was wrong. Too small. Too fragile. Too numb. She had thought she was ready. No one was here. Not her wife. Not her husband. Not Asuka. Not Shinji.

A fist slammed into the locker by her head. She did not move.

"What the hell First?"

"Rei," she whispered. "My friends call me Rei."

"What makes you think I want to be friends after that stunt?"

She didn't open her eyes. She could feel Asuka's breath on her face. Loud, obnoxious and Asuka. The Great Asuka Langley Soryu. Not Asuka Ayanami-Soryu.

"You are here."

"Why?"

Why are you here Asuka? Why are you Asuka? Why do I want to kiss you so much it hurts more than a broken rib?

"Why should I kiss you First?"

Because Shinji would panic and run away. Oh. She meant her. First Child. Not to kiss her first, before Shinji. Was the order important? How much would she break if she closed the small distance and kissed Asuka. This was still child-Asuka no matter what she sounded like. She needed to wait. She swallowed and turned her head away. Asuka's warm breath on her neck was only marginally better than across her lips. Her Shinji was better at neck kisses. Maybe this Asuka would be. This was not helping.

"Hmph! For a moment I thought you were going to be interesting."

Asuka walked away.

---

Rei watched her go. She had, by at least some definition, died three times now. Perhaps four if whatever had returned her to this life had been fatal. She could do it again. It couldn't possibly be as frustrating as this could it? It was too early to blow herself up. Anything less probably wouldn't work. She could blow Yui up. That was tempting.

Perhaps she could get drunk. This body was not used to alcohol. It would not require more than a litre or two. As long as she did not take the Commander's whiskey. The only use that had was removing what was left of her taste buds after eating the Captain's cooking. Numbing her senses further seemed like a good idea. Her medication regimen was designed to regulate the emotions of someone who did not have any to start with. The adjustments had not helped. There was only so much she could safely admit to. Except the last time she had been sufficiently intoxicated she had kissed

"Class Representative Horaki, what can I do for you?"

"Oh! Ayanami-san. It's time for class. Is everything alright? Normally you are very punctual."

Wonderful. Letting Hikari notice was possibly an even worse idea than kissing Asuka. She needed a distraction.

"It is not. Please inform Pilot Ikari that I require his assistance."

She watched the class rep hurry off. It wasn't entirely Nerv business. Except preventing her causing a nuclear explosion was probably better for the continued survival of the human race. Probably. She would reassess the situation after her hug.

 

[gloomy-moods]

Rei pulled herself up onto the side of the pool next to Ikari. Pilot-Sensei Soryu's combat training exercises were effective and well organised with the exception of Captain Katsuragi's improvisations. Soryu's attempts to teach Ikari how to swim were not. She would stop intermittently to swim herself. She would support him with her body. Then she would criticise him for the contact. She complained he could not float. Then she expected him to swim. This was confusing. Why would she be inconsistent in this manner?

Ikari appeared to be disturbed. At least that was her interpretation of his body language. She might be wrong. Body language interpretation was inaccurate for someone trained. She was not. Perhaps it was because she knew how he felt under her hands. He was still tense when she twisted to sit next to him. Swimming was relaxing. Soryu was not.

The pool water and the faint scent of LCL from Ikari reminded her of the place she felt most comfortable, the memory pod she had spent more time than usual floating in during her last backup. Whether the backup itself had taken longer or she had just been forgotten about, Doctor Akagi had not explained. It should not matter where her body was.

 

[GeshronTyler]

A thought came to me a while ago, about the scene where Shinji was showing Asuka (iirc) how to cook? Wait, wasn't that Hikari? Yes, Hikari, Shinji was showing her how he made his bentos...

But that wasn't the focus of my realisation. It was the comment Shinji made about how his guardian had taught him to cook, and the admonishment to "not cut oneself, and waste food by contaminating it with blood." My initial reaction to Shinji's anecdote was, "man, the guy is cold/a jerk", as the apparent focus of the admonishment wasn't concern over Shinji harming himself. But it then occured to me, that Shinji's guardian had to have been a survivor of the aftermath of Second Impact. With the implications of food scarcity (Kaji's gang of orphans came to grief stealing supplies from soldiers, iirc), likely suffering calorie deficits, malnourishment...

So, in the end, that comment (whether intentional or not) became something that fit well with the implied background of Shinji's guardian as a character. To someone that experienced true (prolonged) hunger, perhaps starvation, or at the least needing to make the most of every calorie and nutrient available for a significant time; It would indeed be quite a sin to waste/ruin food through clumsiness...

 

[gloomy-moods]

So, in the end, that comment (whether intentional or not) became something that fit well with the implied background of Shinji's guardian as a character. To someone that experienced true (prolonged) hunger, perhaps starvation, or at the least needing to make the most of every calorie and nutrient available for a significant time; It would indeed be quite a sin to waste/ruin food through clumsiness...

Click to shrink...

It was Shinji showing Hikari how he efficiently makes bentos in Food and Friendships

Yes, it's meant to be one more place Shinji was treated harshly and internalised criticism. But absolutely that sort of attitude can very much develop from food insecurity. Hikari doesn't believe it can be done quickly because she's so careful. Kodama probably has Thoughts(tm) that she keeps to herself. The Horakis are also relatively well off at this point, so Kodama stealing food isn't taking it from her siblings any more just annoying them.

So I'd tried to illustrate it from Kodama's point of view but hadn't really thought about it from Shinji's guardian's point of view.

 

[gloomy-moods]

Shinji hits the ground running. Guilt and panic drive him towards the smoldering hulk of Unit 00. In theory an entry plug inside an Eva was supposed to protect the occupant from almost anything short of an N2 mine, and possibly even that with an AT field. In practice, in practice that theory held up about as far as he could throw an Eva, he'd seen that before he'd even gotten in Unit 01 the first time. The sight of Ayanami's broken body flashes through his mind as he runs. The way she winced in pain when he lifted her. The taste of her blood in his mouth as he climbed into the entry plug determined to protect her. The heat of this Angel's attack in the moments before he'd passed out.

He passes the melted remains of the heat shield that had failed. Ayanami hadn't been able to raise an AT field because it would interfere with his shot. He'd failed the first time. She'd protected him long enough to take the second. Smoke and the stench of burning metal, wood, and flesh fill his lungs causing him to gasp as he runs, but he does not slow down, can not slow down.

He can feel the heat from the plug as he scrambles over the debris and earth thrown up by the plug's impact, and can only hope the plugsuit gloves provide some insulation. It's a meager hope, the suit hadn't helped much when the LCL was boiling around him. Even after the hours of treatment, his skin still felt raw wherever anything touched it, and the suit covered everything but his face, which had stopped itching as the waves of hot air coming from the smoking remains of Unit 00 on one side and the entry plug in front of him buffeted his skin, overwhelming the nerves. Not that he noticed anything other than how slow he felt, how long it seemed to be taking him.

An Eva emergency hatch is hard to open by hand even when it isn't half melted and still almost red hot but the heat barely registers, it's just more pain. His own pain this time, not the Eva's, but it didn't matter. After struggling with it for a few seconds, a few hours, he forces it open and puts his head inside and looks up towards Ayanami. Ayanami is lying motionless in her seat and he doesn't notice the hot LCL splashing his legs as it drains out around him.

"Ayanami!! Ayanami, are you alright?"
There's no response. He calls louder, "Ayanami!!"

Rei's eyes flicker open, his voice finally reaching her.

Shinji, not hearing any response, climbs frantically into the entry plug to check on her. It's awkward getting in this way and he stumbles and slips in the LCL. For a terrifying moment he thinks he's going to fall on her again, but he catches himself on the edge of her seat. He looks up to find her looking back at him. There's a long pause as he tries to catch his breath, the taste of evaporating LCL in his mouth as he breathes out quick panting breaths.

"Don't... don't say you don't have anything else... don't ever say... something like that!" He looks away for a moment, half afraid she'll stop breathing if he does, as if he was using up all the air.

"Don't say sad things like 'Farewell' when you leave someone!"

He struggles to hold himself up, his arms trembling, his legs starting to shake, his mind no longer completely overwhelmed. She's still alive. She doesn't appear to be obviously injured. He hasn't caused her death by his incompetence. He will have chance to make up for the things he's done. She's still alive.

"Why are you crying?"

He doesn't know how to answer, he long ago learned not to cry where anyone can see him and he's not upset or hurt in any way that matters, but he can feel the cool trace on his face in the heat of the pod and his breathing has steadied. His heart is no longer trying to beat itself out of his chest and he can feel its rate slowing now he's seen that she's alright.

"I'm sorry. I do not know what kind of expression I should make at times like this," Ayanami's calm voice is reassuring even if her words suggest she is as confused as he is.

Well, there's the one he seems to unexpectedly have. "I think you should smile."

Rei opens her eyes wide as Pilot Ikari looks at her with an expression she doesn't quite understand. The Commander has previously expressed concern for her welfare. He never looks that soft or gentle. The Commander has need of her. There is no reason for the Third to care so much. She has followed instructions correctly. She and Unit 00 are dispensable. She will have to think about this more.

After a moment she gradually lets a smile form. It's not quite the same as his, but it is close enough and it feels right.

There is a long silence punctuated by the sounds of dripping LCL, the ping of cooling metal, distant shouts. Finally the crash of falling debris intrudes on Shinji's awareness and he realizes he's been staring at Ayanami, who has been holding his gaze with her normal calm broken by the very slight smile that seemed to light up her face.

His reverie broken, the LCL flowing over his feet and the very slightly cooler air on his back reminds him what he's doing. At least the heat of the plug hides the heat in his face as he climbs out of Ayanami's way and back into the smokey air.

The ground immediately around the escape hatch is solid, trampled down as he'd struggled with the release mechanism, the surrounding area much less so. 00 had churned up a lot of the ground that had been baked solid by the Angel's beam when it fell. He'd made a bigger mess frantically digging out Ayanami's plug when the release didn't work. The towering bulk of 01 shelters them slightly from the burning forest behind it, its tight immobile grasp preventing the plug from rolling away.

He finds a slightly more solid looking spot a few steps away and turns back to see Ayanami's head outlined by the hatch. The pain in his own hands urges him back to her and he reaches out before his conscious brain can catch up with what he was doing. Her eyes catch his and he can't look away, or manage the needed words. Then her eyes flick to his hand, and the hot edge of the hatch where she was about to place her own. She pulls her hand back and cautiously reaches out to take his gently, then firmly as his grip steadies her.

His grip is the only thing in her world that is steady. The ground shifts under her feet as she steps out. The world shifts sideways as her vision tries to make sense of her orientation in the mess of churned earth, smoking Evangelions and tilted entry plug. She closes her eyes as she falls. Towards him. Not back towards the hot exterior of the entry plug. His fingers tighten around her hand. The slight weight of his arm has determined the direction of her fall. She relaxes. Impacting the ground will hurt less. That will not happen. He will catch her.

If he'd waited long enough to think it would have been too late. If her tightening grip flaring the pain in his burned hand hadn't increased his focus on her. But he didn't and it did and he caught her before she fell. That he still wasn't thinking was a good thing as he put his arm around her to steady her.


Ayanami is soft, that's all he really notices, even with the protrusions from her plugsuit poking his ribs uncomfortably, the smell of the LCL dripping out of her hair onto his shoulder, the smoke from the smoldering mountain of Unit 00 wafting around them carrying the stench of burning flesh and metal. Her plugsuit is drying in the heat except where his own is touching her. At least it's not her bare damp skin under his gloved fingers. Having their fingers twined together is somehow almost as bad.

Another instinct kicks in. The one that says he shouldn't be holding her. The danger of her falling is passed. She will hate him enough for yesterday. This ... he tries to pull away but her grip tightens.

"Please do not stop. This is," uncharacteristically Rei pauses mid-sentence, "comfortable." She rests her head on his shoulder, her still damp hair against his cheek.

Comfortable. That's one word for it.

A few minutes later the sound of the recovery team approaching intrudes on their motionless forms still holding each other and they finally pull apart.

"I'm sorry Ayanami, I..." He falters, unsure what to say. He's done many things wrong in the last two days, but stopping Ayanami falling wasn't one of them. She'd been the one who prevented him letting go, even after she'd been steady on her feet.

She interrupts his thoughts, "Ikari, may we do this again?"

"Umm. Yes. Any time you want to, just ask." He hopes she means this holding each other thing, not the whole nearly dying a painful burning death part. The four times they've touched run through his mind. It seems very unlikely that she wants him to do so again, but if she really does, and if he doesn't die of embarrassment first, he could manage that for her.

Rei turns and watches the recovery team approaching, a faint expression on her face that Shinji would later learn to call thoughtful. Much later. Right now he can't manage to look at her.

---

It is three days before he's allowed back to school. Two since he's seen Ayanami, who hasn't said a word to him since but was sitting next to his bed reading the first time he woke up after the burn treatment. His hands are still a little stiff, but the best thing he can do is use them and remember to work in the burn cream twice a day.

So he'd gotten up and done the one thing he could think of as an act of atonement, not that there was a way to sufficiently apologize, Ayanami had ignored his previous attempts. The one thing he had noticed, other than the mess, when Ayanami left him standing alone in her apartment was that her kitchen shelf looked empty of anything that even Misato-san would eat.

Which is how he finds himself standing by her desk at the start of lunch with a bento of all the different things he could fit with her staring up at him with an expression he could not read, nothing that might have given him any idea what she might be thinking

"I'm sorry Ayanami, for the thing at your apartment the other day." He can't look her in the face for more than a moment and looking down is a really bad idea, because if he does he can see her curves under her uniform, her bare legs under the desk and his memory is full of how she looks and feels. Instead he focuses on the box in his hands, taking care not to squash it. "I thought you might like something tastier than what the cafeteria has. I'm sorry, I wasn't sure what you'd like so there's a a few different things."

"I do not eat meat."

"I'm sorry. Well, the onigiri has plum in one and the other is made with mushroom. The second roll has red beans. The other roll has fish, in case you don't eat fish either."

"I do not eat any creature that might be classified as fish. Nor do I eat cephalopods or crustaceans."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Rei looks back up at him. He's still staring at the box in his hands. She does not understand why he does not look at her while she is talking to him. That is the polite thing to do. She does not understand why he is apologizing again. She has told him it is unnecessary. Ikari is behaving strangely. Her nutritional needs are met. Why would taste be important enough for him to prepare food for her? Ikari's face is red. Is he ill? Is he angry? Neither seems to be the case. Is there some import in him bringing her food that she does not understand?

He is trembling slightly and may drop the food. That would render it inedible for either of them. She takes the box from his hands. As she opens it the stench of meat is obvious but no worse than that of other student's lunches. The rice balls do not appear to be contaminated. She takes one out and inspects it carefully. There is no indication of its filling. Ikari has no reason to lie to her about its contents. She sniffs it cautiously. There is no stench of meat. She takes a bite. There is a very slight flavor to the rice that she does not recognize. It is not unpleasant. She takes another bite. The texture is strange. The flavor is complex. There must be more than one type of mushroom. She would recognize shiitake or enoki so it must include something unfamiliar. She closes her eyes to focus. This is very different than her usual food. The rice ball is small and does not take long to eat.

She reaches for the other one. This must be plum. She inspects it just as carefully for any contamination. She takes a small bite. The rice has the same unknown flavor. The plum is sweet and slightly tart. It is a very different flavor than the mushroom.

She looks at the bento. She cannot eat any of the remaining items. She has an odd feeling she does not understand. It passes. It must not have been important.

She closes the box and hands it back to Ikari, "I cannot eat this."

"I'm sorry," he apologizes again. Then he turns and walks away. She turns back to the window. The flavor lingers in her mouth. Is this what Ikari meant by tastier?

---

It's a week after he returned to school and Shinji is up to six items he can safely put in Ayanami's lunch. Not that she's accepted his apology, but she does thank him for lunch so he still has hope he might eventually be forgiven. Today he's venturing into seaweed wrappings, they don't have a strong taste and if she doesn't like them she'll be able to unwrap the onigiri easily enough. At least now he can look in her direction without blushing, as long as he doesn't catch her eyes.

Which is why when he turns to close the door quietly behind him he assumes that the flash of blue he sees out of the corner of his eye is just his imagination tormenting him. He pauses a moment, long enough to hear the faint sound of Misato's snoring through the door before turning back to look over the railing. That was definitely Ayanami-blue, he sat three empty chairs behind her almost every day, it would be unusual if he didn't recognize it. He checked his pocket for his Id card on his way down the stairs. There was no reason for her to come here, he'd see her at school. Unless she had some unscheduled test or something down at the GeoFront and wanted her lunch - that would be understandable, he'd encountered the Nerv cafeteria.

He stopped to catch his breath when he reached the bottom and looked towards the road. For a moment he doesn't see her and he starts to think it was just his imagination, or the mirage he saw the day he arrived in the city. But it's the wrong angle for a mirage, the day isn't hot enough yet, and by the time he's considered that, his feet have carried him to where he can see her standing as if she'd always been there.

"Good Morning Ayanami, what are you doing here?" He looks down and to the side, he still can't look directly at her without thinking about things he still feels guilty about, not when she's right in front of him.

"Pilot Ikari, would you hold me?"

He unthinkingly rubs the back of his head, surprised and uncertain, after the battle was one thing. At least they had reason to support each other on the uneven ground, and they'd stopped before anyone could see them, but holding her here, out here on the street in public... But this was Ayanami and he owed her something for what he'd done, and for saving his life, nearly at the cost of her own. He couldn't turn down her unexpected request.

"Sure, I guess I offered." He cringed inwardly at his inability to put things into words.

"If it is an inconvenience I will proceed to school." There is a note of what he hopes is disappointment in her voice. Not that he wanted to disappoint her, he'd done too much of that already. Just he couldn't tell and if it wasn't that it was probably something even worse.

"No, no, it's not a problem. I just didn't expect you to be here, or to ask."

It was of course, but he couldn't say that. He had offered, he couldn't refuse, but if he were to hold her the way he had before he'd have to look at her and he'd feel her increasingly and inappropriately familiar body and...

While he's internally panicking, Ayanami steps closer, then so close she's touching him and her arms wrap around him. He takes a slow breath and reciprocates carefully, slowly, until he's holding her once more. It's much more comfortable than in their plugsuits, even though there is technically more layers of clothing between them. Their school clothes provide less insulation and she is warm and soft.

She rests her head on his shoulder, he can feel her breath against his skin, her body pressed against him. At least with her head in this position she can't see how much he's blushing.


Rei is unexpectedly uncertain. She has two minutes before they have to resume traveling to school. Pilot Ikari feels different without his plug suit. Without the interface and support systems she can feel the muscles of his back under her hands. They are tense. She does not know if this is normal. Her own are not. He feels warm. Her temperature was elevated on the first occasion. Perhaps it is simply relative. Two data points are insufficient. Ikari had appeared reluctant. He was holding her as if she were still injured. She was not. He had held her more firmly before. Perhaps only because she had fallen. If he was agreeable she would have to repeat the experience to gather more data.

---

"You and Ayanami Shin-man? I definitely didn't see that one coming."

Shinji looks over at Toji confused, "Huh?"

Kensuke laughs, "You made her lunch every day for the last week and today you arrived at school together. Toji here thinks you've got the hots for her. As if he'd notice."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

Shinji glances over at Ayanami, who's staring out of the window and ignoring the world, including himself. After the debriefing, she had brushed him off as if he didn't even matter. Which was true, except then she'd asked for what had definitely turned into a hug this morning. She had been just as soft as he remembered. It had been mortifying, and confusing, and he would definitely do it again if she ever asked. Then she'd gone right back to ignoring him again, as she did everyone else, as soon as they arrived.

Anyway, he really didn't think of her like that, even if she had shown up naked in his dreams to torment him with guilt. At least that was better than the one where she showed up as just a charred husk, her plugsuit and skin burned away by the Angel's attack because he'd screwed up and missed a second time.

He shakes his head, "I don't think of Ayanami like that, we're not even friends." He sighs, "I screwed up as usual and offended her, so I was trying to apologize but I messed that up too. I don't even know her well enough to know she didn't eat meat."

Kensuke sighs at his clueless friend, "Toji, my friend, why do you think you've been getting extras? Shinji got rejected and all you could think about was your stomach."

"I.." started Shinji before giving up. If he denied anything, there then would be a debate about exactly what he was denying. Then the only way to get out of that would be to mention something about Evas and if he did that Kensuke wouldn't stop until Horaki yelled at him. The Class Representative's ire was not something to be invoked just so he could avoid talking about Ayanami. Better to avoid saying anything at all.

Fortunately, before he can somehow manage to make things worse, the Class Rep unintentionally comes to his rescue.

"Rise. Bow. Sit."

 

[SaberKid20XX]

Its Alive!

Another great update. Can't wait for Arael, once its done obviously

 

[gloomy-moods]

Its Alive!

Another great update. Can't wait for Arael, once its done obviously

Click to shrink...

It's been long enough that SV warned me about it being an old thread :-(

Arael is ... I've managed 100 words on it this year. So you'll have to wait a while longer.

Other than Arael itself and the immediate aftermath, currently in scope for "22" is:
* Asuka's birthday
* Misato tries to get answers
* Sakura's welcome home party
* Rei/Shinji date (Asuka is stubborn, they are going to follow the plan).
We're diverging from the canon timeline more here, as "20" (Robot) and "21" (Heatwave) are before Asuka's birthday. There's also more time between "22" (Arael) and "23" (Armisael)

(suggestions/writing prompts for any of those welcome).

I have one scene for "Get in the pool" that's almost usable, and a short draft scene for Episode 12, so you might get those.

 

[gloomy-moods]

Rei Ayanami had had worse days. The day she woke up in what was, as far as she had been able to determine, her own past was one of them.

Today's agony, she surmised, was what was commonly referred to as 'a hangover'. For very good reasons she had not previously consumed more than small amounts of intoxicants. Never in this body. Never this much.

It was not actually possible for her to poison herself with alcohol. The semi-functional S2 organ that was currently trying to pretend it was an excessively painful kidney stone made sure of that. She would almost be willing to trade it for Asuka's uterus. Though possibly only because Asuka could not take the otherwise lethal amounts of painkillers she had taken this morning. Which had not yet started to work. A functioning uterus would come with a second ovary, menstruation and a libido however. She definitely was not putting up with those on top of everything else.

She wasn't actually trying to kill herself. She'd died often enough. She knew exactly how to do that.

Putting herself out of her misery had, apparently, only postponed it.

At least no one was here to make it even worse.

 

[gloomy-moods]

She had never wanted to see an Evangelion again. She had never wanted to put her lovers through this again.

They were not her lovers. Oh, but they were wonderful. Wonderfully annoying that is.

She sighed. She wasn't going to blow anything up. Today. They were all going to die anyway.

"What's wrong Rei?"

She looked up at Captain Katsuragi. She had never mistaken her for Major Katsuragi, or for the Misato she knew. Captain Katsuragi was so young. Not as young as her fellow pilots of course. Being their age on a different technicality was one of the many things that were wrong. Not that she was going to tell the Captain that.

She was not yet ready to tell anyone most of the other things that were wrong. She was in this time. She should not be. She should be home. Eating Shinji's cooking. Distracting him by kissing Asuka. Brushing Asuka's hair. Floating in a warm bath. She didn't even have a bath. She hadn't kissed anyone since her arrival. For a brief moment when Hikari brought Shinji to her she had almost kissed them both in relief. That would have made things a lot worse than the disaster she had managed so far. Asuka criticized everyone and everything for every perceived slight. Real or imagined. If it was not a problem, she made it one. Asuka was even more cutting in her remarks than she remembered. She could not spare Shinji any of it. He was going to stop loving their Asuka before he realized he did.

"Pilot Ayanami," the Captain corrected herself, pulling Rei out of her thoughts and back to the latest disaster she had caused. Close Quarters Combat. It was supposed to make them better able to fight angels when ranged attacks failed. It was supposed to help them learn to work together. It was supposed to help them become more comfortable with physical contact.

Rei toggled her screen with the main one and turned up the audio.

"Who'd want to see your skinny ass anyway?"

"It wasn't my arse you were drooling at, hentai!"

"If I wanted to see chibusa that size I'd look in a mirror."

"At least I wasn't forced to examine your dick, I'd have needed a microscope."

Misato winced. She sincerely regretted explaining 'trash talk' in the training briefing. She definitely should have paid more attention to Shinji's expression. He'd been unfailingly polite to Asuka since she'd arrived. Asuka might have grown in some ways, but her attitude to others seemed to have become even worse than they'd been when she was Asuka's guardian. She'd have to have words with Kaji, assuming she could pin him down long enough to do so. At least Rei had spared her whatever had led up to what she'd just heard.

Rei switched the audio back to her private channel, leaving the video feed visible and tried to respond as the Rei Ayanami that Captain Katsuragi knew would. Forcing her voice to be calm actually helped. A little.

"Pilot Ikari's close quarters combat ability has improved. Pilot Soryu has not scored a point in five minutes thirty two seconds. Pilot Soryu's ability continues to decline when faced with unexpected situations. Pilot Ikari improves when he is not himself the cause of the situations."

She sighed internally. Her Shinji could tease her Asuka mercilessly and with great finesse until Asuka's mood rose. Sometimes that resulted in a smile. Sometimes in a pillow fight. Sometimes she would enter the room to find Shinji pinned against the wall and enjoy them kissing for a while.

Ikari Shinji on the other hand was still at the blunt force trauma stage. Which was non optimal but sufficient for killing Angels. It was definitely not going to help with Asuka Langley Soryu's fragile self worth. Or their continued survival.

She turned the audio completely down and watched them. Technically she could have done a better job than Asuka. Because she knew them. She knew how their bodies fit together. She knew which reflexes would be beneficial to improve. She had not come up with a reason to do so. Her behavior was already different enough it was becoming a risk. It was better that she did not. Watching them grapple was distracting enough. She had spent most of her life barely being touched. Now the lack of physical contact was driving her to take risks she should not.

She wanted her wife back. Not this child who thought she was an adult and hated every reminder that she was not. She wished it was going to take a lot longer for her to grow up.

She contemplated whether she should interrupt them and if so how to do so. Insulting each other was most likely an improvement on them not talking. However they had already achieved a level of understanding that caused the barbs to be actually hurtful. Shinji was showing Asuka the parts of himself she had taken so many months to notice. What she had claimed she wanted. Criticized him for lacking. Asuka was undermining the work she had done to improve Shinji's self confidence. Attempting to bolster herself. She would have to do something about that. At least so far the barbs had been provably false. Not that she was going to inform them as to how. They were not ready for that.

What they were not doing was causing physical injury. Which was annoying Asuka almost as much as it was making her sound like a prepubescent girl and not the young woman she was. Unfortunately informing Asuka that Nozomi could come up with better insults would lead to even more questions she wasn't ready to answer. She made a mental note to mention this one to Hikari once it was safe to do so.

---

Asuka held him down and waited for him to tap out. At least he knew how to do that much now.

She was breathing heavily and being watched. Of course she was being observed, this was training after all, even if this idiot was the one who actually needed it. That it had taken over ten minutes to take him down was both unacceptable and obviously the result of her training. Because it seemed no one at Nerv Japan had trained him to do anything. The only thing he seemed to be any good at was housework. He somehow managed to make even the weird Japanese food somewhat edible.

Which was more than could be said for Misato, who's cooking had somehow managed to get even worse. At least that's the impression she got from Doctor Akagi's threat to put her in quarantine rather than allow her to attend the "Welcome to Japan" dinner if Misato "cooked". She'd been able to hear the quotes. Apparently the idiot's cooking skills were famous enough that them going out somewhere to eat hadn't been considered. That Misato's apartment had been clean had been the first surprise of that evening. Unfortunately she had not been the only one invited.

Pilot Ayanami, First, Rei, had informed her that the Third, the Idiot, required further combat training as he had been forced to pilot with no training at all. That he was anticipating her moves and blocking or dodging was starting to make her wonder if the weirdo was lying about this too. She was certainly keeping secrets.

Of course the owner of the disturbing red eyes was also watching them.

Not that she could see her. Not that she needed to.

Pilot Ayanami was an enigma. Pilot Ayanami was as much a robot as an Evangelion. Motionless. Expressionless. Emotionless. Layers of armour meters deep. Doing whatever she was ordered to do. Except touch her. Or anyone. Not even when she sat next to the Idiot pretending she was not watching him. Not since. Not since declaring that the price of her friendship was a kiss.

As if she was going to kiss anyone except Kaji. She certainly wasn't going to give her first kiss to the blue haired weirdo. Or the scrawny boy whose back she was pressed against, who had probably been the one to claim she was the better kisser just because he'd seen her panties once. And washed her underwear, but she wasn't going to think about that, she might actually strangle him. She didn't even like girls. The weird Japanese thing of changing in their classroom had proved that. Not that she'd looked. Not that she needed to. Ayanami's sense of decency seemed to be as lacking as her emotions.

"Asuka, if you need to restrain your boyfriend I have ropes at home, but you do need to let him breathe. You can flirt later." Misato's voice cut through her thoughts.

She lay on her back staring at the ceiling. A weight on her chest. Hot breath on her neck.

"Hey! You tapped out!"

"And you left yourself wide open."

Then she was free and her sparring partner was back to the little shit that he was.

"Uh. Sorry." He offered her a hand up but she ignored it. Poor form but so was pinning her down after he'd tapped out.

Suddenly she didn't want him touching her any more than she did Ayanami. 'Which is how much exactly?' asked the corner of her brain that was usually more interested in where Kaji-san was hiding. She stomped off towards the showers. Absolutely not thinking about the weight of him as he pinned her down, how close his lips had been, the warm of his panting breath, or whether he knew how good a kisser Ayanami was.

---

Notes:
chibusa - breasts, somehow the english didn't seem to work in that exchange.

The insult exchange was difficult (but also the first part I wrote). A definite case of "he wouldn't say that" followed by "what would it take for him to say that". Asuka has been especially obnoxious even for her, since she met Rei. Shinji has no idea what happened other than something must have because Rei hasn't asked for a hug since Asuka arrived. Then Misato instructs him to insult Asuka...

Feedback definitely appreciated on this one. Let me know if it works.

 

[grommile]

It works.

I want to shake the blue-eyed duo and tell them they're being idiots, but I don't want to eject the DVD and donate it to a charity shop or use it as a coaster

Like many anime characters, they need to listen to New Model Army's "Betcha".

 

[gloomy-moods]

I want to shake the blue-eyed duo and tell them they're being idiots

Click to shrink...

Rei is being very restrained. They have only actually known each other for a couple of weeks, not the several years Rei remembers of them.

Like many anime characters, they need to listen to New Model Army's "Betcha".

Click to shrink...

It reminds me a bit of Jethro Tull's "Flying Colours" but NMA's is perhaps more applicable to them than that is.

 

[gloomy-moods]

Pilot Ayanami stared at the visual feed being supplied to her in Unit 00 where she was sitting on standby in case things went even worse than she expected. The inside of the entry pod was, for once, quiet except for the faint sound of LCL sloshing past her ears as her hands met her face.

The fish was a fluke.

The entire first time around was a fluke.

Things were different this time.

Unit 02 was in the ocean. Both Asuka and Unit 02 could swim. It could have been worse.
Unit 01 was buried face first in a nearby hillside. It was fortunate that Shinji had picked the one hill where the bedrock was deep enough that he had not immediately broken his neck.

PenPen had flapped his wings when he met Hikari for the first time again. She was going to blame everything on that. Not that either PenPen or Hikari deserved it. Just if she started blaming anyone actually involved things would get even worse.

Blaming Shinji or Asuka would just set them at each other's throats again. Blaming the Captain would undermine her. Blaming the Commander or Sub-Commander would cause questions to be asked. If she let herself start she probably would be unable to stop until the very long list of things that were caused by Ikari Gendo's actions had been completed. Blaming herself. There was a high probability she would be correct. There was a high probability that her despair would be fatal. She was not ready to die on them. Yet.

She would bring PenPen an apology. She would ask Shinji to invite Hikari to dinner again. If they survived.

---

"Don't worry, I have a plan" Misato had tried to reassure her after the last disastrous training session. She had known what it was. After the mess she had made with her own training plan, it had seemed even less likely to work. Meeting Hikari, Hikari's not yet boyfriend and her photographer on the doorstep after Captain Katsuragi had asked her to visit a day early did not bode well.

---

She had meant to make mistakes. She'd failed at that too. If she had known she could have misstepped. But it was Shinji and she knew how he moved on a subconscious level. It was this piece of music that Asuka hated. Her wife still used humming three repetitions to time her eggs. Shinji had even hunted down an egg timer for her. Asuka had used it once and then ignored it. She had not cried watching Asuka and Shinji dance to it. Her mask had held. Barely.

She did not recall Asuka being this upset last time. Perhaps she had not noticed. It had not been her Asuka then. It still was not.

It had been fifteen minutes and twenty two seconds since Hikari had ordered Shinji to follow Asuka. At least that had worked. She had refrained from thanking her. It would have been out of character. So would be going after them.

She stood, "I will verify that they have not caused permanent injury to each other." That she needed to actually see them to find out was frustrating. She was managing to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

Misato tried to brush off her concerns, "I'm sure Section 2 would have let me know if anything was wrong."

"The Section 2 agents stationed downstairs did not notice me tying their shoelaces together," she noted as she left, wishing she could see the expression on Hikari's face. The Class Representative needed some encouragement too.

---

She found them in the park. Sitting on a bench under a tree. With an empty tub of ice cream. Talking.

"I'm sorry I insulted you. I uh. I want to do this with you."

"Leave me out of it. Do it with your perfect girlfriend!"

"She's not! And she wasn't!"

Rei was glad she had not approached and that they could not see her where she stood. He could have sounded just a little uncertain there.

"Liar! 100%! The best you could do was 50!"

Shinji shook his head, "She's too slow."

"Huh?" Asuka looked up at him.

"You saw Misato's plan. We need to be fast as well as accurate. If we're not fast enough, it'll be a lot worse than spending a week in the hospital, which is what happened last time I screwed up. So. Um. You're too fast."

"You mean you're too slow. Baka!"

"That's not what I meant! You've got it memorized, you were anticipating the steps. It's why you used to beat me all the time."

Asuka glared, "Used to?! You little..."

Shinji put his hands up defensively, "I got you last time because I actually learn when it's you doing the training."

Asuka scoffed, "Of course you do!"

Shinji looked away, "So. Um. Train me how to keep up with you."

Asuka laughed, "You'll never do that!" Then she stood and grabbed his hand, "Come on, you have work to do."

 

[GeshronTyler]

Was that some actual communication between characters in a NGE-verse story?! 😛

Whose idea was it to get/bring the ice cream?

Can Rei actually eat ice cream? I know she doesn't/can't eat meat, but is other animal products as well?

There would be nondairy equivalents for ice cream I think, eating ice cream/frozen treats could make for nice bonding moments…

Making the stuff could be a further group activity, allowing people to make their own more exotic flavors.

10 of the Most Bizarre Japanese Ice Cream Flavors Flavors

 

[gloomy-moods]

Was that some actual communication between characters in a NGE-verse story?! 😛

Whose idea was it to get/bring the ice cream?

Can Rei actually eat ice cream? I know she doesn't/can't eat meat, but is other animal products as well?

There would be nondairy equivalents for ice cream I think, eating ice cream/frozen treats could make for nice bonding moments…

Click to shrink...

Amazing what a little bit of Close Quarters training will do. Rei's work on Shinji has been more successful than she thinks. Asuka's already calling Rei his girlfriend despite them not touching since Asuka arrived.

The Ice Cream was Asuka's idea, she demanded Shinji buy it when he found her in the store. She's getting drinks but she spots the ice cream - it's the eternal summer and they've been exercising.

CodeRed!Rei does not eat animals, anything that can be classified as fish, crustaceans or cephalopods. I don't know if she eats animal products, it's at least partly smell and texture for her ("the stench of meat"). She would probably be more likely to go for fruit flavoured shaved ice or similar.

 

[gloomy-moods]

Shinji Ikari sat on the edge of the apartment roof looking past the circular gap in the city at the setting sun and ignoring the blisters on his arms. The sun would set soon, the space that the Angel had occupied would look slightly less black as the city lights replaced the deepening shadows. The blisters would fade before he went back to the empty apartment. If he did.

Asuka was out visiting Hikari, and Misato was pretending her night out wasn't a date with Kaji. They weren't even managing to hide it from him at this point, he wasn't sure why they bothered trying.

He wasn't sure why he bothered trying either.

One of the many things he was currently regretting was ever doing the "thermal expansion" calculation. A few nights of different nightmares, a shopping trip which was uncomfortable in more ways than what Asuka had been shopping for, a hotter night alone than usual and his curiosity had gotten the better of him. He was uncomfortably aware of the shape and size of Asuka's breasts, despite having no more contact with them than when he woke with her lying across him, something that hadn't happened in several days, she'd left him alone with the new nightmares. Which now included just how hot it would take for Asuka to burn, just how distressingly close Ayanami had been to that limit while she protected him during the third attack.

At least he'd been doing something then, even if he screwed up and nearly got Ayanami killed. The deepening shadows reminded him that once again he'd done nothing. He remembered nothing between passing out as the oxygen ran out and Misato opening the emergency hatch on the entry plug. Misato had congratulated him, then he'd been interrogated for anything he might remember. The one thing he did remember he wasn't going to tell anyone, certainly no one who might put it in a report that his father would see. Asuka had seemed more concerned that he almost died than his father.

Not that he was going to risk telling her about the half remembered, blurry image of his mother - he couldn't see her face of course, not even in dreams, nightmares or oxygen deprivation did he remember what she looked like, but he knew it was her. Except he was the size he was now, not small like the last time she was alive to hug him. The closest thing it felt like was Ayanami, and while he still wasn't sure what she was thinking, the way she hugged was definitely not motherly. Ayanami was also shorter, so whatever tricks his mind or the angel had been playing on him, it wasn't her.

No, the only way he was ever likely to see his mother again was if he leaned forward far enough. The roof was high enough. Of course knowing his life, he'd been reincarnated as a small bug which would be accidently stepped on or eaten. At least if he became bird food, that would be more useful.

He shook his head. Maybe tomorrow. Ayanami's hug was scheduled for the morning. He should at least do that.

 

[gloomy-moods]

"Let me do that," Asuka interrupted Shinji's vegetable chopping. There wasn't an angel to kill, vegetables would have to do. She wasn't apologising or helping, just relieving some stress. She laughed at herself, only baka Shinji would believe something like that.

The simulators were still down after the Virus Angel and how was she supposed to punch something like that anyway? She couldn't hit, slap, fight or even kiss Baka Shinji, and only the last of those showed up in her nightmares so she didn't even get any relief in her dreams. Even the nightmares about dying were better than that. She was having more of those too. She'd tried swimming to burn off some of her anger, in the past that would have helped, but Wondergirl had been there and kept watching her. It was weird, unnerving and definitely not relaxing. Kaji was avoiding her again. She'd even, very very briefly, considered picking a fight with Jock Stooge. Hikari said he could at least punch hard enough to hurt, but she'd immediately dismissed that as the bad idea it was. The only person she wanted touching her was Shinji. Kaji! She did not want the idiot touching her. Stupid brain, wanting things only because she couldn't have them. She ignored her inner smartarse who asked exactly what it was she couldn't have that she wanted.

At least all Misato had done was assume she was on her period and looked sympathetic. Then she had been and baka Shinji had known and that was even worse. Maybe she shouldn't be given a knife while he was standing right there, she could stab him without touching him. Though knowing her luck he'd fall on her if she did.

Shinji put the knife down and stepped to the side. He watched Asuka for a moment, then when she showed no imminent danger of slicing her fingers off, or stabbing him with the knife, he checked on the rice and put the water on to boil. Asuka was still mostly ignoring him, there was no way she was apologising but she was standing uncomfortably close.

When the painkillers had worn off he had only known by the way Asuka was moving, he hadn't felt anything unusual. He'd have gotten up to get her more but that would probably have raised questions he didn't want to answer, especially in front of Misato, who was drinking her welcome home beer and watching them with curiosity.

Thankfully Misato hadn't done anything to further annoy Asuka or tried to get anything out of him after he'd just shrugged when she asked what was going on. It was better to let her think it was just another incident of them not getting along. It was close enough to the truth as long as no one told her why.

At least Ayanami had gone back to ignoring him after lunch. It had been bad enough having the Class Rep approach him before class started and ask if he was alright. Having had Ayanami do the same thing a few minutes later was weird and he could have done without the strange looks his friends were giving him. At least Asuka had been sitting in front of him and he hadn't seen her reaction. Then Ayanami had insisted on hugging him before she would eat lunch, and spent her meal watching Asuka nibble unenthusiastically at her bento. Admittedly it wasn't one of his best but Asuka was obviously not eating much.

He shook his head and went back to trying to prepare dinner. It wasn't often they ate red meat, it was far more expensive than fish or even the german-style sausages he bought for Asuka when he could, but she'd eat it and she needed the replacement nutrients. Still, he'd have to slice it thinly to go around. He stepped around Asuka to get it from the fridge and was very aware of the slight movement she made to avoid him. It wasn't necessary, he wasn't going to touch her even accidentally, he knew where she was but it meant that unlike the appearance she was projecting she was not actually unaware of him. That was something. What kind of something he didn't know, but it was better than the last week of not even acknowledging his existence.

She was focused on obliterating carrots when he looked up from the fridge, so he grabbed a couple more for her and mentally adjusted the recipe slightly to account for the texture and cooking time difference between sliced and massacred. She was moving as she chopped energetically and inefficiently so he stepped around her, shifting his position to avoid touching her or dropping the food. If she noticed him adding the carrots on the counter next to her hands she didn't say anything.

---

This was in my published scenes folder, but apparently it hadn't been. So bonus chapter.

 

[GeshronTyler]

Good thing Shinji dislikes "not fulfilling obligations" more than he seems to dislike his life

This was post Leliel?

Interesting that he seems to have had a clearer vision of his mother, and I think his "self image" was older than in Canon? Points for not demolishing the cutting board or knives, and producing edible prepped veg (presumably).

Was the canon EVA/Pilot "rotation" test before or after Iruel?

Asuka is Tsunning like a pro. So, is she putting a lot of effort into ignoring she does like it when Rei is watching her?

 

[gloomy-moods]

Good thing Shinji dislikes "not fulfilling obligations" more than he seems to dislike his life

Click to shrink...

Very Shinji.
After I wrote this piece, it occurred to me how different the two rooftop scenes are and what it takes to get through to him (though he is in an even worse place by the time we get to Heatwave).

• Asuka: long rambling talk about how important he is (to everyone other than her) and how much good he does even if he doesn't see it.
• Rei: exists and wants hugs.

This was post Leliel?

Click to shrink...

Yes, it's "Episode 17" around when 04 is lost, we're on an increasingly divergent timeline. The black part of the city he's watching is the area swallowed by the Dirac Sea that hasn't been rebuilt yet.

Interesting that he seems to have had a clearer vision of his mother, and I think his "self image" was older than in Canon? Points for not demolishing the cutting board or knives, and producing edible prepped veg (presumably).

Click to shrink...

No, his self image during the point of his encounter (slowly dying of oxygen deprivation) is his current teenage self, as opposed to the last time his mother hugged him when he was three in canon and thus much smaller. So the only point of reference he has for his current size is Rei (waking up with Asuka qualifies as neither a hug nor comforting). Rei isn't yet as tall as Yui.

Was the canon EVA/Pilot "rotation" test before or after Iruel?

Click to shrink...

Before, in canon it takes place in Episode 14. In CodeRed that test doesn't happen and Shinji is never in 00, and Rei isn't in 01 until the disasterous test during Heatwave (Episode 21).

Asuka is Tsunning like a pro. So, is she putting a lot of effort into ignoring she does like it when Rei is watching her?

Click to shrink...

No, she hasn't gotten to that point yet. She's still a bit of a show-off, but Rei is still actually unnerving her, not unnerving because Asuka is feeling things she doesn't understand. She's also actually not that violent, she's only thinking about stabbing people, in practice she's using other ways to deal with her frustration and annoyance. That's getting harder as Shinji can feel her exercising (not that she knows that yet) and Rei watches her swim.

As to why Rei is watching Asuka, she hasn't told anyone that.

 

[GeshronTyler]

Oops, the food prep stuff was supposed to be with the Asuka comments

Points for not demolishing the cutting board or knives, and producing edible prepped veg (presumably).

Click to shrink...

 

[gloomy-moods]

Points for not demolishing the cutting board or knives, and producing edible prepped veg (presumably).
Oops, the food prep stuff was supposed to be with the Asuka comments

Click to shrink...

I figured. Shinji probably worked out something to do with the er 'finely chopped' carrots, he's used to not wasting food. If it actually works, he'll have a new recipe to share with Hikari. If it doesn't, hopefully Asuka will feel a little better.

 

[gloomy-moods]

"So, Captain Ibuki, what did you really do?"

Maya looked up from her station and over at Hyuga who was waiting for Major Katsuragi to arrive and ask them questions they couldn't answer. There were several answers to that question, only one of which she could safely give. There was what Sempai had said, which she was almost certain the Commander did not know yet - Sempai wanted to be certain she would be able to provide an explanation. There was what had gone in her official document which was so non-descript it didn't even need to be classified. There were the unpleasant rumors she probably wasn't supposed to have heard but unfortunately weren't unexpected.

Hyuga wasn't insinuating anything, he was just trying to lighten the mood before things became life threateningly dangerous again. For the pilots, who she worried about even more now, for themselves as the likely target, the city, and possibly the world if what she thought was true really was. Nerv had layers of secrets, but she wouldn't be in the position she was if she wasn't intelligent enough to work out some of what was going on, and to not dig even deeper than she already was.

So she was well prepared for the question.

"I ordered Doctor Akagi to go home and sleep. When she came back she declared that the last person she let tell her what to do was Major Katsuragi when she was a Captain, so if she was going to take orders from me I had to at least be a Captain."

Maya paused, "Unfortunately for you, the Major doesn't listen to anyone."

Hyuga sighed and put his hand to his head dramatically.

Maya groaned even more theatrically, "Fortunately for you, the Major doesn't delegate most of her paperwork. Sempai however..."

"Is wondering how you have time to talk."

"Analysis from the orbital array on your screen. The magi have the report from last night waiting for you." It might not be important, it might be critical, she would have to let Sempai decide which, she wasn't going to have time to worry about it.

"Major Katsuragi is on her way down. She had all three pilots with her." Aoba sounds slightly surprised. "They are on their way to the changing rooms."

 

[gloomy-moods]

In which Shinji asks Misato to do something else for Asuka...

---

Shinji reached up to place Asuka's and Misato's monthly supplies in the bathroom cupboard and winced. Asuka's nightmares had been worse than his own last night and his shoulder still ached where she'd gripped him. He didn't know what that dream was, it wasn't one where she talked in her sleep. He'd already made sure to restock both the normal and special painkillers, but he'd bought more during today's shopping just in case. He didn't want Asuka to run out again.

Asuka wasn't stupid even if he was. She would have put the fact that they felt each other's pain sometimes and that he'd had everything she needed and while she hadn't actually thanked him for the chocolate, she'd smiled after she ate the last piece and that was more than enough reward. So if she didn't know he knew then, she certainly knew now, and Asuka hated that, hated him for knowing something like that about her.

Which made the next conversation he was going to have even more awkward and dangerous than the one about her underwear. But he'd somehow survived that. He had somehow survived Misato's teasing, and even understood that's what she was doing. Somehow he'd even survived Kodama silently handing him back the picture of Ayanami the next time he'd cooked at the Horaki's, though he hadn't understood her expression.

Just he had to do something for Asuka, not because he hurt, it wasn't that he was used to pain but he expected it, he just had to do something. He cared even if no one else seemed to. Fortunately, the school's computer system was connected to a number of sources of information. Unfortunately, they gave him the same answer, and it wasn't something he dared check with anyone else. He certainly couldn't ask Hikari, even if he could manage to ask her about laundry. Doctor Akagi clearly didn't care, and he didn't know anyone else.

"Tadaima!"

Except the person who had just come home, who he'd need to ask anyway. At least Asuka was out somewhere with Hikari and avoiding doing her share of the chores, so he was safe for at least another few hours until she thought he'd have done them all.

He closed the cabinet door, took a deep breath and headed out into the living room.

---

"Okaeri, Katsuragi-san."

"Hi Shinji, why so formal today?"

"I have something to ask and I need you to take it seriously and not make assumptions, or tell Asuka I talked to you about it."

Misato nods, "Alright, I'm listening."

Shinji pauses, blushing and looking away while he steels himself. He'd worked it out in his head earlier, but it was another thing to actually say it out loud.

"Uh. Asuka needs birth control pills."

"Shinji!", of all the things she was expecting, this was not it, "What happened to 'you don't have to worry about that'? I thought you were the responsible one here."

Before Misato can continue, Shinji raises his hand. Not in the palms forward stop gesture but with the back to Misato, the dark finger shaped bruises quite clear. They didn't hurt anymore but they did still look rather dramatic.

"She'd already had the maximum painkiller dose before she grabbed my hand to deal with the pain. You have to do something for her, and I read that was the main treatment when painkillers weren't enough."

He doesn't mention that Asuka has an identical set of bruises, narrower and longer than his fingers could create. He doesn't mention that the reason Asuka even let him see her in pain was that he'd unthinkingly gone into her room having rushed home from school midafternoon because he knew exactly where she was. He doesn't mention that it took longer than it should have for him to realize that the pain in his gut was too low to be remembered pain from the second angel he fought. He should have known better by then, but the pain had been distracting. He could almost certainly take it better than Toji, but he still couldn't tell which of the other girls in the class were in similar situations, even knowing what to look for.

He definitely doesn't mention that that was two weeks ago, that the bruises on his hand were from where he'd tried to loosen her grip on his shoulder before she broke something and she'd grabbed his hand instead. It was because the way she'd gripped him last night had been so similar that he was doing this now.

"And why are you the one asking me about it?"

He tries to stay formal, because otherwise he might run away and never be able to come back.

"Seriously Misato, it's Asuka. She doesn't ask for anything. She doesn't admit to needing help. And it's hard enough having this conversation with you, can you imagine me trying to have it with her? She still thinks you buy all her supplies when you haven't done the grocery shopping in months.

"So, please? Talk to her about it? Get her something? I can't stand to see her like this."

Katsuragi nods, "It's nice of you to be so concerned about her, Shin-chan. I'll think about it." Then Misato grins, "You know what else helps?"

For a moment Shinji gets his hopes up, then he notices the expression on Misato's face. The one that always comes before she starts saying something embarrassing to make fun of him.

"Orgasms."

Shinji stares at her, this is absurd beyond the point of embarrassment, "You tell her that. I'd rather fight Angels, I might survive that."

He turns and retreats to his room. He doesn't tell her she won't get anywhere even if she tries. Neither of them do that. The other one would feel it. Which might perhaps be pleasanter than some of the other bodily functions they were mutually aware of, but ... no they'd both die of embarrassment if Asuka tried that, and if he did she'd probably call him a pervert and ... actually he wasn't sure what she'd do but it would no doubt be very unpleasant.

Maybe one of these days Asuka might actually hold his hand because she wanted to, not out of desperation or pain, in the daylight not the throws of nightmares. He shook his head. Being used as a pillow and nightmare protection must be getting to him. She'd never want to do that.

---

"Good Morning Shin-chan!"

Misato sounded cheerful as she stretched and resisted the urge to have her wake up beer.

Shinji put her breakfast on the table but otherwise ignored her. Asuka was in the bathroom and he needed not to be thinking about what she was doing, or about her at all. He might be getting used to waking up with her in his bed, and that they didn't share thoughts as well as body sensations but he was very glad that he'd been alone this morning and hadn't woken up with Asuka sprawled across him wearing only a t-shirt, or Ayanami in the same position wearing nothing at all. It had taken a while to shake off the afterimages from his dreams, he'd definitely been dreaming, though Asuka would have considered them nightmares.

Misato dropped into her chair, glanced at her food, at the bathroom door and back to Shinji.

"About last night. Your suggestion was more practical, even if mine would have been more fun. I'll sort something out this week."

Shinji nods, not risking saying anything more than "Thank you".

Which is fortunate as a moment later the subject of their non-conversation stomps out of the bathroom.

"She should be the one thanking you, as you did all her chores yesterday." Asuka pulls out a chair and sits somewhat more gracefully than Misato, "Never mind, you made fish for breakfast again".

Shinji puts her plate in front of her, which does indeed contain fish, and his own at the end of the table far enough away that there's no chance of accidental contact. He could point out that he did all her chores yesterday as well, so according to her own logic she should be thanking him. He knew the futility of that, as well as that he'd probably have to redo half of them anyway. At least he could muster up a defense of his cooking.

"You ate the last sausage two days ago."

Misato chokes on a mouthful of rice. Shinji hands her her glass of water and sighs. Asuka pauses with food halfway to her mouth.

"Perverts! Both of you!"

"Hai," mutters Shinji morosely.

Asuka stares at him for a moment, opens her mouth to say something then puts food in it instead. If she said something he'd probably apologise, and he'd been getting better at that which meant he'd probably tell her what he was apologising for. Even fish was better than finding out what that was.

 

[gloomy-moods]

Shinji was standing by the pool waiting for Asuka when Ayanami slipped her arms around him from behind. It had to be Ayanami because there was absolutely no way Asuka would do that. She'd refused to help him yesterday, issuing instructions from far enough away he would probably drown before she'd reach him. She appeared to be perfectly willing to let that happen.

Ayanami's hands were cool on his bare chest as she hugged him, her body against his back felt considerably warmer, not as warm as his face as he felt just how closely she was pressing against him. At least she was wearing a full swimsuit and not a bikini like the one Asuka insisted on wearing. It was just Ayanami, her hug wasn't due until tomorrow, not that she couldn't ask any time she wanted, not that she'd asked this time. Why she had picked now when he was just in his swim shorts rather than earlier when he'd been dressed he did not know. Perhaps because they were alone? She did not accept her scheduled hug, and almost never requested one, when they were not. Unless you counted the times she'd rested her head on his shoulder after lunch where all his friends could see her. He couldn't complain, it wasn't as if he minded at all, except the comments from his friends after the first time. At least Misato hadn't seen it and Ayanami didn't seem to care what anyone said, as long as it didn't interfere with her lunch.

---

Rei turned her head and rested her cheek against Ikari's shoulder. His skin was warm under her hands. She did not understand why this felt like the right thing to do. She did not understand why she felt anything at all. There was no reason for it. It did not fit her purpose. She had been fine since 8:02 am on Friday. Now it was imperative that she touched Ikari. She had not touched his bare skin to this extent. It was an interesting sensation. Different than when he was wearing his school uniform. Different than when he was wearing his plugsuit. The uniform muffled this sensation. The plugsuit conducted it in a different manner. She did not have appropriate words to describe it. Until she did she would be unable to ask the Commander or Doctor Akagi about it.

She lowered her hands slightly. Ikari's shape was different than her own. Ikari's shape was similar to her own in some way she did not yet understand. Perhaps if she undressed she could determine how they fit together. That was not permitted. He had started bringing her food the first time he had touched her naked body. Perhaps he would stop. He had stopped trembling where her hands were. She could feel the muscles moving where her fingers were not through the shifting tensions in his skin. Her curiosity would have to be satisfied some other way. Nutrition was important. Curiosity was not.

---

Shinji was frozen in terror. Ayanami was stroking his chest. If this had been a manga, or one of those weird foreign soap operas Asuka watched when she was really bored, she would have been enticing him into something that was utterly impossible. This was Ayanami. The only person less likely to do something like that was Asuka. Asuka, who would be here any moment. If he was lucky he might fall into the pool and drown before then. At least she was unlikely to punch him in person. He still felt like there should be a bruise on his shoulder from the pilot training that absolutely was not called Pilot Soryu's Bootcamp, though today's session may as well have been called Asuka Attacks as she'd never let up on him even after Ayanami sniped her legs out.

---

Asuka saw them as she emerged from the changing room, Hikari had made a joke about them dating, she couldn't possibly be correct, could she?

"What the hell are you doing?"

Shinji would have jumped if he wasn't both expecting Asuka to turn up at the worst possible time and being held quite firmly in place by Ayanami who was heavier than she looked and had not let go when Asuka arrived. At least she stopped moving even if her grip had tightened in surprise.

"Investigating Pilot Ikari."

"Is that what they call it around here? Well you can seduce your boyfriend after his swimming lesson."

"I do not have a boyfriend. I will be unable to comply with your instructions."

Asuka rolls her eyes, "That was a joke, not an instruction. Do not try to seduce Ikari. He's as dense as a rock and I really don't want to imagine what would happen if you succeeded."

"What kind of rock?"

Asuka gives up, she's trying to get along with Ayanami but it's difficult, the girl has even worse social skills than the idiot and she takes everything literally. At least Little Miss Not Actually Perfect had got marginally better at shooting things, even if those things were her simulated Eva, so she's not completely cancelling out the effectiveness of the training.

At least that literal mindedness meant she probably wasn't lying and they weren't dating. That was something at least. She could focus on getting the idiot not to drown and the weirdo to shoot something that wasn't her. Assuming she could get through the next hour without any more touching. Or perverted looking.

"Get in the pool, baka. Time to make sure you can do more than not drown."

Shinji took a moment before he turned back from the slight ripple that Ayanami left behind, despite the mid air rotation she had made no more of a splash than usual. The acrobatics were unusual for Ayanami, she normally dived straight in with one graceful curve not to be seen again until she reached the far end of the pool. Not that she hadn't been graceful this time, but instead of the usual view of her back and legs he'd also had a clear view of what had been pressed against his back only moments before. That he'd seen the same thing without the swimsuit did not make turning to face Asuka any easier.

Then the terrifying thought that if Ayanami hadn't been interrupted in her investigation, and hadn't found whatever it was she was looking for, her next step might have involved even less clothing. And more bruises, her grip had tightened painfully before she let go and if his imagination wasn't completely running away he'd felt her teeth on his shoulder.

By the time he actually turned to walk over to the pool steps - he'd definitely learned his lesson about jumping in, his brain still wasn't convinced the water was shallow enough to stand in rather than drown, and he wasn't going to try to persuade it otherwise - the view he got was remarkably similar to the one he just witnessed. At least until Asuka's feet left the edge of the pool. A shallow barrel roll mid dive had meant the depth of the water Ayanami dove into wasn't that important. Even Asuka's strong legs - that couldn't possibly be as long as they seemed as she passed by -weren't enough to pull off a running leap followed by a somersault.

Shinji was in the air before Asuka hit the bottom of the pool. At least he remembered to tuck his feet in as he'd seen Asuka do so he didn't injure himself too.

He was on his feet and wading towards the flowing red hair when a flash of blue passed by underwater. By the time he reached them, Ayanami had Asuka's head above water and was trying to stand. Unthinkingly he grabbed Asuka's hands and helped pull her upright. Which left him standing there holding Asuka's hands while Ayanami held her out of the water in a remarkably similar position to how Asuka had been holding him during their first lessons. Similar enough he could remember vividly how it had felt to him.

"Let go of me, I'm fine!"

"Pilot Soryu, unless you have a degree of hypermobility in your foot I have not previously witnessed you have broken at least one toe. Also you are bleeding. I do not believe this fits the criteria for 'fine'. Pilot Ikari, please summon medical assistance. I will stay and ensure Pilot-Sensei Soryu does not sustain further injury."

---

Asuka limped out of the hospital room to find both Shinji and Ayanami sitting waiting for her.

At least the idiot was waiting and immediately looked up when the door opened, the doll obviously didn't care and had fallen asleep on his shoulder. It hadn't been that long, even if it felt like it. She'd lost a few millilitres of blood and you'd think she'd lost a leg or something. It wasn't even enough she needed anything more than a warm bath and someone to wash her hair to get rid of the chlorine and lingering scent of LCL.

That would, of course, have to be herself, certainly she wasn't letting anyone else touch her. Especially either of these two. At least someone had brought her clothes up so she could get changed out of the damp swimsuit.

"I'm fine!" she snapped before the Idiot could finish opening his mouth and saying something stupid.

"Good," announced Rei raising her head.

Asuka ignored her and explained before the Idiot could pretend to sound concerned, "It's just a scrape and a small sprain. I don't even need this," she waved her foot at them, "but they wouldn't let me go without tying me up! So don't go getting any ideas that there won't be training tomorrow."

"There will not be."

"What was that?!"

"You designated tomorrow a rest day. Doctor Akagi has scheduled maintenance. I will see you at school." With that, Ayanami got up and left them.

Asuka gritted her teeth, her foot did actually hurt, not that she expected or wanted sympathy from anyone, but she had even less tolerance for the weirdo right now.

At least nothing weird had happened when the Idiot had grabbed her hands to stop her going under when her legs slipped. Not that she was going to let him help. She hobbled in the direction of Misato's office, if she couldn't get a ride home there would at least be someone nearby who could hold an actual conversation.