A skeleton sits awkwardly at his sentry station, impatiently tapping a foot against the snowy...
Monster Oddyssey (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure/Undertale)
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Chapter 1
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
A skeleton sits awkwardly at his sentry station, impatiently tapping a foot against the snowy ground. He looks left, than right, his bones rattling slightly as he shifted in place. Though he wasn't as sensitive to the cold as some of the other inhabitants of the snowy region of the Underground, it was still a bit too chilly for his taste. Even his battle body didn't help.
Perhaps it would conduct the heat better if he'd constructed it out of real metal and chain links rather than paper maché and masking tape, but it was better than nothing.
"Shouldn't he be here? He blazed through all my other puzzles so quickly! He's clever. Very clever."
This is the point where he would have added "But not as smart as ME, the great Papyrus!" or something similar, but, in an unusual turn for the skeleton, he was deep in thought, not even talking.
Of course he still wanted to capture the human, he told himself: otherwise, how was he going to get into the Royal Guard? That seemed to be the only thing that would convince Undyne to let him, since everything from his bountiful gifts of precious bones to hand-crafted puzzles on her front lawn seemed to have failed.
And yet…the human seemed much more affable than he'd expected. They weren't some kind of walking engine of destruction like the legends said: they had fun with his puzzles, made terrible jokes almost as bad as his brother, and he hadn't killed any monsters that Papyrus had seen.
He pictured his fri-foe in his mind's eye, trying to calculate where best to strike and KO him. Tall, muscular, wearing shockingly minimal clothing for the cold of Snowden, and with a tricky glint in his eye socket.
Wait. That wasn't his mind's eye he saw him in.
"Ah! Human!" Papyrus shouted in surprise, stumbling out of the sentry booth and to his feet.
"You know…I told you I have a name," the human said irritably. He adjusted his scarf, and half considered going back to town to see if that rabbit sold a coat or something. He was almost freezing his ass off by now.
He paused in the middle of further buttoning his shirt, frowning in exaggerated concentration, and leaning to the side to try and see something over Papyrus's shoulder.
Papyrus turned to look at-
"No! I won't fall for that again! I have a speech to make to you!" Narrowing his eye sockets, Papyrus turned back and glared at the human mid-dash, having moved halfway across the battlefield-to-be in the span of a second.
"Eh. It was worth a shot," he grumbled, his half-hearted look-over-there plan having failed as expected.
A thorned vine snaked out of his sleeve. His eyes shot down to it, but didn't try to shake it off as they had the other three or so times it had shown up that day. Instead, he held out his arm, the oddly-colored plants extending outward the length of his ulna.
"Still have no idea what this…eh, it can wait," he muttered, noting how the vines vanished into thin air when he decided he didn't need them. Had he figured out how monsters used magic for himself?
If so, why, then, did the library say magic was projected from the body?
Sleeves this one time aside, when it had started appearing throughout the day, the vines came from behind him.
As if someone was standing beside him.
"Now, I think I was at the start…I…Actually, hold the speech. While we have been waging our battle of wits, I have observed some complex feelings. On your end."
"Really?" The human rifled through his pack, only paying half attention to Papyrus.
"It's so very clear to me! The joy you felt upon meeting another pasta lover! The admiration of another's puzzle-solving skills! The desire to have a cool, smart person think you are cool! These-"
"Let me guess. Next, you'll say 'these must be the feelings you are feeling right now!'"
"-These must be the feelings you are feeling right now!" Papyrus paused briefly, upon realizing the human had predicted his exact words. "Ah! Great minds do think alike!"
"Not to be an asshole about it," they said, "but I think I know where this speech is going." The tall human's stomach growled. Pulling out a small paper bag, they unwrapped the small bunny-shape pastry and casually bit off the ears. "So let's skip the pretentious crap, shall we?" he finished, in between mouthfuls of delicious baked goods.
"So you do have these feelings!" Papyrus cried, the human's meaning flying right over his head. "Of course…I knew that already. I am very great. I never have…those…feelings!"
Barely stifling a yawn, Papyrus pulled out a small bone and began fanning himself with it. In spite of Snowden's cold environment, he felt like things were heating up. Obviously, the human was so embarrassed at being so transparent that his blushing was warming up the entire region. Or something: while Papyrus considered himself a very smart skeleton, even he had to admit his knowledge of human biology was limited.
It was making him feel a little big fatigued, but he continued on in spite of his sapping strength. Papy-the human needed to hear this.
"Your loneliness is…clear to me! I, the Great Papyrus, will be your-"
"Friend?" the human finished. "Look, I don't mind a little chit-chat, but I need to get going." He looked left, then right, as if he were getting ready to cross a busy street. While Papyrus was still the midst of his moral dilemma, he chose this time to quickly walk past him. "If I don't make it back to the surface soon, my Granny will-"
He was cut short when a wall of bleached bones manifested itself in his path. The human only barely froze in place before the energy humming off the magical constructs struck him square in the face. He could hear the edge of his scarf sizzling as he jumped backward from the wall.
"No…no, this isn't how it's supposed to go!" Papyrus cried, vigorously shaking his head as he pushed back that last word. "I can't be your friend! You're a human!"
"…Really?" the human groaned, looking right at Papyrus now. "Alright, look. It's clear you're not interested in fighting me, so I'll just skip by and-"
"I…must capture you!" the skeleton declared, trying to ignore the human's conflicted feelings and continue through the stations of his speech.
"…son of a bitch," the human said. "There goes the easy way out. Let's get it over with, then."
"Then, I, the Great Papyrus…" Papyrus's eye sockets briefly shrank, as if his nonexistent eyelids drooped half-shut. "Okay, fine! We can skip the speech! I am determined to capture you, human!" he continued, shaking in place and rattling his bones to regain his energy. He wiped the sweat from his brow, and got into a fighting stance.
"Alright, fine! Guess I'll just have to kick your ass 'till I get through! Before I win, though, I'll tell you my name again. I have one, so don't forget it again!"
He sighed ,and adjusted his scarf to protect from the cold, briefly revealing the star-shaped birthmark on his shoulder in the process.
"It's Joestar. Joseph Joestar. Bring it, you bag of bones!"
Both men dropped into a fighting stance: Papyrus calling forth a bone club and producing a bag of smaller bones from seemingly nowhere in his other hand, while Joseph simply balled his fists and focused on the monster.
He looks about as strong as Toriel. Sans did warn me about some blue attack…but he's not trying to kill me. Which means he can't kill me. Which means, Joseph finished, smirking, I can afford to have some fun.
"Nyeh heh huuuuuuuuwh-" Papyrus quickly brought his arm up to cover his yawn. Why was he so tired, anyways? Did Sans go to all the trouble of learning a sleep spell just to annoy him in this moment of glory?
"You know, you really shouldn't fight if you're so bone weary."
The skeleton instantly snapped to attention. "No."
Joseph's smirk widened. "I mean, you could just take it easy. This isn't a fight to the death, right? It isn't some back-breaking labor here."
"Oh, no! Stop that!...that last one barely had anything to do with bones!" Papyrus swung the club through the air, creating and discharging a small animal's worth of bones at his foe.
"You're smiling!," he replied, sidestepping the projectiles and leaping atop the branches of a nearby tree to avoid a second volley. "Guess your brother was right-you do like those puns!"
He paused. "Though, come to think of it, you're always smiling, aren't you? Well, guess it's true what they say. Fake it until you make it!"
"Human! Please take this battle seriously!" Papyrus demanded, rummaging in his bone bag.
"Well, if you insist on that, why don't you take your own advice!" The human smacked the branches of the trees, causing the mass of snow piled on them to fall and knock another set of bones out of the air. "Let's see that [Blue Attack] I've heard so much about!"
"Very well!" Papyrus exhaled, and his hands and club glowed a dark blue. Flailing in the air with his weapon, he conjured yet another set of flying bones, these ones glowing light blue.
But Joseph had dealt with these kinds of spells before earlier today. He stood still as a statue, and Papyrus's attack washed over him harmlessly.
"Really?" Stretching, Joseph pointed down at Papyrus in a mocking manner, as if he was ready to burst out laughing. "That's your famous att-"
He was cut short by a sudden impact to his gut, and a faceful of snow. Gasping in surprise, he struggled to right himself on the branch.
Oh, wait, he was on the ground now. Papyrus must have somehow yanked him off the tree when he wasn't paying attention. Basic tactics, but he was cleverer than Joseph initially thought.
"That is my [Blue Attack]," said Papyrus, wiping the sweat of exertion off of his vertical plate. "Oh, I see! You got the shades of blue magic confused! A natural mistake!"
Joseph rolled his eyes and stood up.
No, he stood up. Stood u-why was it so hard to move? Grunting in pain, the human was barely able to get back to his feet. It was as if suddenly had huge weights strapped to every part of his body.
He looked down at himself, and blinked in surprise. His skin had taken on a blue tint, as if he were holding his breath and about to pass out.
"Dark blue increases gravity, and limits your movement!" Papyrus said, proudly. "Do you like it? The darker shades of blue aren't used too much, so its near-uniqueness multiplies my cool factor by tenfold!"
"Alright, it is impressive," Joseph admitted, wincing as his foe readied his club again. "With me stuck to the ground, it'll be harder to dodge your attacks.
"But," he continued, wrenching his heavy body into a roll to avoid the now much more dangerous bone waves, "there's still plenty of cover here! This sentry station will do nicely!"
"Darn you!" the skeleton shouted melodramatically, shaking his fist and sounding much more camp than he intended. "I'm not going to smash up my own station!"
"I'll come out if you give me a second to catch my breath!"
"Oh! In that case, take your time!" the skeleton responded. Secretly, he also needed the break. Some spaghetti would do wonders to have a cooler and better fight.
A spectral arm emerged from behind the monster, a bowl of undercooked and oversauced spaghetti in its hand.
"Thank you, stranger!" Papyrus said, slurping up the noodles without a moment's thought. Or even noticing where they had come from.
On the other side of the field, Joseph stuffed the last of the rabbit into his mouth, sighing in relief as his bruises and cuts vanished in seconds. Say what you will about monsters getting the short end of almost every other stick, but their cooking was great.
"Can't say I expected this." He wracked his brain, but he came up very short on how to counter the dark blue gravity power of his foe. It looked like the spell was still in effect, and he had no idea how to undo magic. Sort of came with the territory of falling down and going through all this in the span of two days, really.
If Joseph could just hit Papyrus with his own spell, he would be just as disabled as he was, and it would be smooth sailing from there. Or finding some other way to hit him, without having to get close to him and thus waste energy.
"I wonder…" What about the vines that kept showing up near him? Those might help. He concentrated, eyes narrowed and inhaling deeply.
"Whatever you are, now's a good time to show up. Monster, ghost, magic…I don't know what you are. But as long as you show up now-"
The air around Joseph began to shimmer, and vines snaked their way out from under his shirt and out through his sleeves.
"Great!" He grinned.
"Human?" Papyrus's voice called, concerned. "If you'd like, we could take a short break. I have a refreshing, cold can of cola! Since I started our battle, I must allow you some advantage to be fair!"
Slowly, Joseph's head rose over the station desk's top, and stared in disbelief at Papyrus. "Hah! No way I'm falling for that!"
"Er…what?" Papyrus tilted his head in confusion, some more beads of moisture falling from above his eye sockets. "Oh! You must be worried about the kind of soda! Fear not: I, the Great Papyrus, wouldn't lower myself or others to drink diet cola! As with all those as cool as me, I have zero-calorie cola! All the taste, none of the…whatever makes diet soda taste awful!"
"Oh…my…God," Joseph muttered to himself. "He's serious. Well, won't look a gift horse in the mouth," he said, raising his voice so the skeleton could hear it. "Alright, toss it here and we can take a break before I'll kick your ass!"
Stretching his arm back, Papyrus hurled the can through the air with all of his might. It made it all of ten feet before plopping unceremoniously to the ground.
Both men were silent for a moment.
Wordlessly, Joseph willed the vine by his hand to grab the can. Carefully, so as not to prick it with its thorns and waste his prize, the vine brought the can to Joseph, and he eagerly popped it open.
"Fear not! My blue attack is holding steady, so this fight will be over soon!" Papyrus opened his mouth to continue, but another yawn sneaked into his speech. "Huff…huff…this was a long, memorable battle!"
"It's been three minutes!" Joseph objected, noting how the vines were now extending behind him, attached to a spectral purple and gold arm.
The vine from the other arm brushed against the wooden wall of the stall, and it changed. In an instant, it took on a metallic shine and texture. It still retained its shape and structure, but its properties…
He touched the wall, and then grabbed the can from the other vine. They felt the same. Light, frail, and easily crushed. Whatever this thing was…could it somehow force different objects to have the same traits?
Joseph pushed himself to his full height, against the restrictive curse's power, and grinned. He had a wonderful idea.
As Joseph discovered this strange new ability, Papyrus found himself in a similarly bizarre situation.
His vision blurred, and he shook his head to clear his eyesocketsight. He really hoped the human would finish their break soon. He hadn't been this tired in…ever, really.
He wiped more perspiration off of his brow.
"Hurry up! I have to beat you, or I'll never be able to make any friends!"
Wait, that came out wrong. It wasn't what he actually meant. He thought.
He dismissed his club and raised both of his hands to cup around his jaw and get the human to hurry. But, halfway to his face, he noticed the liquid on his hands.
It wasn't sweat. It was a milky white, as pale as his own bones.
Papyrus scratched his forehead in confusion, then yelped as a spike of white-hot pain pierced his mind. Slowly, and with more caution, he tapped his forehead again. It left oddly…soft. As if that part of his body had turned to oatmeal. Or melting ice cream.
He felt something wet land on his shoe. His hand had begun dripping as well.
"Er…human? Could you…"
"Alright? You want to finish this? I will!"
"ARO!"
The wall of his precious sentry station, which he had spent precious…minutes…building suddenly split open with a gaping hole, as if someone had taken siccors to a soda can's frail aluminum casing.
The human stepped out of the hole, and a titan about nine feet tall followed. Its muscular golden limbs further ruined the station as it passed through. The purple vines snaking through its body, as if woven into its flesh, writhed and brimmed with life. Papyrus saw its steely gaze lock eyes with him from underneath its wide-brimmed hat.
"Oh, you…brought a friend?" Papyrus asked. "Well, then I'll use my strongest…wait, no, that's dangerous!...I'll…just use this normal one instead."
With a herculean final effort, Papyrus created a vast line of tall bones, much bigger than Joseph would have been able to jump over or dodge even without the blue curse.
"Not this time," the human said, smirking. "This time, I'll make those bones break! NOW!"
"ARORA!" Whipping its free arm out, the vines spring out of the figure's limb and launched its thorns at the bones. A series of soft thwacks echoed as the thorns hit their marks, and became stuck in the calcium constructs.
"My bones are…too sturdy to be broken by those tiny thorns!" Papyrus announced, trying to ignore that his vision was beginning to blur. "Don't worry; you'll be fine!"
"Oh, is it me you're worried about?" Even with the crushing weight of the blue curse bearing down on his body, Joseph still found the strength to lift his hand to the air, pointing at Papyrus despite the magically-imposed gravity ruining the gravitas of the victory celebration he had intended. "You don't get it? Then I'll explain."
He shifted his hand to point at the bones, now mere feet from his body. Which now possessed a metallic sheen "I've already won."
The plant-like figure rushed forwards, swinging its fists faster than any mortal eye, human or monster, could follow.
"ARORORORORORORORA!" In the span of a few seconds, the bones having taken on the consistency of a soda can, were blown into useless chunks of scrap metal and powdered dust.
Papyrus stared in disbelief.
Joseph stared back, the blue curse fading as his body's coloration returned to normal.
"Well…you won," Papyrus said, slumping to his knees in exhaustion.
"I had to admit, that was one of the toughest fights I've ever had," Joseph said, approaching his defeated foe cautiously as the phantasmal figure faded behind him. "Those bones were too strong to counter head on. But, with that magic…or, whatever it is…I've discovered, I gave those bones the same consistency as the drink you so kindly gave me. And if any average Joe could crush a soda can with their bare hands, well…"
Joseph trailed off. "Wait…are you melting?"
"It seems that I am." Papyrus announced, "Alas, poor Papyrus-"
"Wait…no… OH NO! I didn't mean to kill you!" Joseph interrupted, his voice rising in panic and obvious distress.
"-cut down in the prime of my life," he continued, shockingly blasé about how he was dying. "I only fought because I'd hoped people would be my friend for-"
"No, nononono!" Joseph knelt to the ground, holding his hand to Papyrus's forehead in a vain attempt to stop his forehead from running down the rest of his face. "I didn't know-I thought because I didn't wantto kill you, I couldn't" He gritted his teeth in frusturation, his entire body starting to shake in the heat of the moment. "Isn't that how magic works?"
"Well…at least you seem cool." Papyrus pointed towards Joseph's knapsack, which had fallen to the ground along with the panicking human. He gestured towards the bottle of spider cider that had fallen out. "You're…supporting local buisnesses! And…helping the…economy!"
"Damnit, damnit!" Something dripped down Papyrus's face. But it wasn't liquefied bone.
Joseph quickly fell backwards, his tears clearly only making the problem worse. "There has to be some way to stop this! The magic food, green spells, anything!"
"You can't heal what's falling away!" Papyrus smiled sadly. "I guess I was too cool to live. My body can't handle it, and it's losing its mass as a result. It's not your fault, human…well, it is, but, I don't blame you. It…was nice meeting you."
"Losing mass-" Joseph repeated, his eyes widening in surprise. Then, they immediately narrowed in determination.
The ghostly figure reappeared behind him, pressing a thorned hand to Papyrus's side, who had lapsed into unconsciousness as his body continued to deteriorate.
"If I gave the bones the same qualities as the can, then could I give you…"
Joseph gritted his teeth. "Only one way to find out. This is probably going to hurt." His entire body tensed up. "For both of us."
The air around the two began to shimmer and glow.
As it turns out, Joseph was right. It hurt. A lot.
Many monsters nearby heard the yelling, but many were too intimidated or uninterested to investigate. No doubt one of those Waterfall folks went on a stroll and fell into a snowdrift (ah, the cons of being cold-blooded). Or similar excuses.
The skeleton sitting at a sentry station between the borders of the two towns was not one of them. He paused in idly skipping stones across a small puddle (while he was still sitting at the desk).
"hey, didn't that come from where papyrus said he wanted to fight the human?"
For a moment, the monster almost decided against going there-he had just gotten a new record for most skips per stone, and didn't want to break his streak. But…this fight sounded like it had escalated wayfrom a friendly bout with his brother to serious injuries.
Ignoring the Echo Flower next to him repeating what he had just said, Sans rose from his seat. The air around him distorted, and he was suddenly right outside (what was left of) his brother's station.
He could have just walked there, since it was less than a quarter mile's walk, but his shortcut spell was quicker. Also, he didn't feel expending the energy'd b worth it. That was valuable calories that could be put to better effort. Like thinking up puns. And cooking hot dogs.
A burst of cold wind blew his sweatshirt's hood back, and he shrugged his bony shoulders to settle it back into place.
And then he stopped.
On the ground, lying faceup in the snow, were Papyrus and the human visitor. Joseph, wasn't it?
Were this the surface (and were he not a lazy bum), Sans would have been far more concerned than he was now. But he, as everyone else, knew monsters instantly turn to dust upon death. Meaning Papyrus was fine. But the human?
Sans bent down to look at the unconscious youth. Did he look a bit…different from when they first met? His clothes hung loosely on him, and he seemed smaller somehow.
Well, not like he was an expert on humans, much less anyone with flesh on their bones. He'd ask Joseph himself about it when he woke up. He was still breathing, after all, and his SOUL…
Wait. Something about his SOUL seemed different. One of Sans's eyesockets went dark, and the other glowed a piercing blue, as the magic of all things around him became clear to see.
In the center of the human's chest, Sans could see his SOUL pulsing softly, the red heart symbolizing his spirit beating strong. But now, it was as if it was bigger. As if someone had drawn thick outlines on a 2d shape.
"huh." Sans cocked his head slightly, a sharp crack sounding as the air pockets between his neck's bones popped. In the corner of his eye, he saw Papyrus's white SOUL overlaying his body.
With the same lines.
Sans's breath caught in his mouth, and he froze ramrod still.
He was absolutely silent, until he saw that the SOUL looked pretty stable, showing no signs of shaking itself apart or becoming too strong to hold in a monster's semisolid body.
Papyrus's brother breathed a sigh of relief. "wow. guess things got kinda out of control. didn't see that coming."
Still, at least both of them were in two pieces.
He looked down at Papyrus, and flinched, eyes flickering for a moment. Nothing major had changed…but those cracks above and below his respective eyesockets were…
…just a coincidence, and nothing to look into. At least, that's what Sans told himself. There was also a discoloration shaped like a five-pointed star on his scapula, but he could probably chalk that up to the human's own DNA getting mixed in.
The noise of loud panting caught Sans's attention. He turned around to see the Greater Dog, the leader of Snowdin's Royal Guard outpost, towering over him and the unconscious duo.
"hey, boy," Sans said. The Dog leaned down to sniff at Papyrus's sleeping form, and his brother scratched the guard behind his floppy ears. "looks like papyrus beat the human. but, uh…he wore himself out. thisis why I take it easy, bro. can you help me get them home?"
Greater Dog barked in affirmation, picked Papyrus up by the collar of his laboriously hand-crafted armor, and bounded off to the skeleton brothers' house.
With strength one would not expect from a chubby, short, muscle-less skeleton, Sans hoisted Joseph over his shoulder and hauled him back home.
"Nnngh," Joseph groaned, eyes still closed and barely awake.
"jojo, right?" Sans paused. "i mean, joseph joestar's a bit long. mind if i shorten it?"
"Mmmmhhhhgh," the human grumbled. "Whappen'ed? Did-"
"he's fine. thanks for that, by the way." Sans rummaged in his pocket and grabbed his house key, unlocking the front door. "if i were you, i'd sleep for a bit. sleep is always great."
"FFFne," JoJo mumbled, climbing out of Sans's grasp, and making it all of five shaky steps before falling into an immediate sleep on the nearby cough.
"and we've got a lot to talk about later," Sans finished to himself, as he moved aside to let Greater Dog get Papyrus to his room. "[stands]…never thought i'd see another one ever again. much less two. looks like things-"
"-just got interesting," the tiny figure at the outskirts of town said. He withdrew the vines he had extended beneath the house: while it was too risky to get close enough to see what the human had done (thanks to him), he could still hear perfectly well from the vibrations of sound waves.
It was already great enough that another human had fallen down into the Underground. For all of the problems that pesky Barrier the humans threw up after their war posed, it wasn't impregnable. From the outside.
But this human in particular?
"Hee hee hee…guess that's the 'shining star.'" The figure mused, petals blowing slightly in the breeze. "Time to make a wish. Even with the problem he caused, it's still the perfect time for the fun to begin."
Flowey the flower chuckled.
"All the pieces are in place. Now, it's time to kick it all off! Maybe by kicking that big moron's face in!"
The chuckling turned to full-blown laughter.
"I hope you put on a hell of a show…after all, I've been waiting for you…JoJo!"
Flowey laughed, harder than anything without lungs should've been able to. He burrowed into the ground, vanishing deeper into the Underground.
Monster Oddyssey
A Crossover between JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and Undertale
<-To be continued
This is a mirror of the fic I'm posting on SB. Comments and such are allowed and appreciated.
Perhaps it would conduct the heat better if he'd constructed it out of real metal and chain links rather than paper maché and masking tape, but it was better than nothing.
"Shouldn't he be here? He blazed through all my other puzzles so quickly! He's clever. Very clever."
This is the point where he would have added "But not as smart as ME, the great Papyrus!" or something similar, but, in an unusual turn for the skeleton, he was deep in thought, not even talking.
Of course he still wanted to capture the human, he told himself: otherwise, how was he going to get into the Royal Guard? That seemed to be the only thing that would convince Undyne to let him, since everything from his bountiful gifts of precious bones to hand-crafted puzzles on her front lawn seemed to have failed.
And yet…the human seemed much more affable than he'd expected. They weren't some kind of walking engine of destruction like the legends said: they had fun with his puzzles, made terrible jokes almost as bad as his brother, and he hadn't killed any monsters that Papyrus had seen.
He pictured his fri-foe in his mind's eye, trying to calculate where best to strike and KO him. Tall, muscular, wearing shockingly minimal clothing for the cold of Snowden, and with a tricky glint in his eye socket.
Wait. That wasn't his mind's eye he saw him in.
"Ah! Human!" Papyrus shouted in surprise, stumbling out of the sentry booth and to his feet.
"You know…I told you I have a name," the human said irritably. He adjusted his scarf, and half considered going back to town to see if that rabbit sold a coat or something. He was almost freezing his ass off by now.
He paused in the middle of further buttoning his shirt, frowning in exaggerated concentration, and leaning to the side to try and see something over Papyrus's shoulder.
Papyrus turned to look at-
"No! I won't fall for that again! I have a speech to make to you!" Narrowing his eye sockets, Papyrus turned back and glared at the human mid-dash, having moved halfway across the battlefield-to-be in the span of a second.
"Eh. It was worth a shot," he grumbled, his half-hearted look-over-there plan having failed as expected.
A thorned vine snaked out of his sleeve. His eyes shot down to it, but didn't try to shake it off as they had the other three or so times it had shown up that day. Instead, he held out his arm, the oddly-colored plants extending outward the length of his ulna.
"Still have no idea what this…eh, it can wait," he muttered, noting how the vines vanished into thin air when he decided he didn't need them. Had he figured out how monsters used magic for himself?
If so, why, then, did the library say magic was projected from the body?
Sleeves this one time aside, when it had started appearing throughout the day, the vines came from behind him.
As if someone was standing beside him.
"Now, I think I was at the start…I…Actually, hold the speech. While we have been waging our battle of wits, I have observed some complex feelings. On your end."
"Really?" The human rifled through his pack, only paying half attention to Papyrus.
"It's so very clear to me! The joy you felt upon meeting another pasta lover! The admiration of another's puzzle-solving skills! The desire to have a cool, smart person think you are cool! These-"
"Let me guess. Next, you'll say 'these must be the feelings you are feeling right now!'"
"-These must be the feelings you are feeling right now!" Papyrus paused briefly, upon realizing the human had predicted his exact words. "Ah! Great minds do think alike!"
"Not to be an asshole about it," they said, "but I think I know where this speech is going." The tall human's stomach growled. Pulling out a small paper bag, they unwrapped the small bunny-shape pastry and casually bit off the ears. "So let's skip the pretentious crap, shall we?" he finished, in between mouthfuls of delicious baked goods.
"So you do have these feelings!" Papyrus cried, the human's meaning flying right over his head. "Of course…I knew that already. I am very great. I never have…those…feelings!"
Barely stifling a yawn, Papyrus pulled out a small bone and began fanning himself with it. In spite of Snowden's cold environment, he felt like things were heating up. Obviously, the human was so embarrassed at being so transparent that his blushing was warming up the entire region. Or something: while Papyrus considered himself a very smart skeleton, even he had to admit his knowledge of human biology was limited.
It was making him feel a little big fatigued, but he continued on in spite of his sapping strength. Papy-the human needed to hear this.
"Your loneliness is…clear to me! I, the Great Papyrus, will be your-"
"Friend?" the human finished. "Look, I don't mind a little chit-chat, but I need to get going." He looked left, then right, as if he were getting ready to cross a busy street. While Papyrus was still the midst of his moral dilemma, he chose this time to quickly walk past him. "If I don't make it back to the surface soon, my Granny will-"
He was cut short when a wall of bleached bones manifested itself in his path. The human only barely froze in place before the energy humming off the magical constructs struck him square in the face. He could hear the edge of his scarf sizzling as he jumped backward from the wall.
"No…no, this isn't how it's supposed to go!" Papyrus cried, vigorously shaking his head as he pushed back that last word. "I can't be your friend! You're a human!"
"…Really?" the human groaned, looking right at Papyrus now. "Alright, look. It's clear you're not interested in fighting me, so I'll just skip by and-"
"I…must capture you!" the skeleton declared, trying to ignore the human's conflicted feelings and continue through the stations of his speech.
"…son of a bitch," the human said. "There goes the easy way out. Let's get it over with, then."
"Then, I, the Great Papyrus…" Papyrus's eye sockets briefly shrank, as if his nonexistent eyelids drooped half-shut. "Okay, fine! We can skip the speech! I am determined to capture you, human!" he continued, shaking in place and rattling his bones to regain his energy. He wiped the sweat from his brow, and got into a fighting stance.
"Alright, fine! Guess I'll just have to kick your ass 'till I get through! Before I win, though, I'll tell you my name again. I have one, so don't forget it again!"
He sighed ,and adjusted his scarf to protect from the cold, briefly revealing the star-shaped birthmark on his shoulder in the process.
"It's Joestar. Joseph Joestar. Bring it, you bag of bones!"
Both men dropped into a fighting stance: Papyrus calling forth a bone club and producing a bag of smaller bones from seemingly nowhere in his other hand, while Joseph simply balled his fists and focused on the monster.
He looks about as strong as Toriel. Sans did warn me about some blue attack…but he's not trying to kill me. Which means he can't kill me. Which means, Joseph finished, smirking, I can afford to have some fun.
"Nyeh heh huuuuuuuuwh-" Papyrus quickly brought his arm up to cover his yawn. Why was he so tired, anyways? Did Sans go to all the trouble of learning a sleep spell just to annoy him in this moment of glory?
"You know, you really shouldn't fight if you're so bone weary."
The skeleton instantly snapped to attention. "No."
Joseph's smirk widened. "I mean, you could just take it easy. This isn't a fight to the death, right? It isn't some back-breaking labor here."
"Oh, no! Stop that!...that last one barely had anything to do with bones!" Papyrus swung the club through the air, creating and discharging a small animal's worth of bones at his foe.
"You're smiling!," he replied, sidestepping the projectiles and leaping atop the branches of a nearby tree to avoid a second volley. "Guess your brother was right-you do like those puns!"
He paused. "Though, come to think of it, you're always smiling, aren't you? Well, guess it's true what they say. Fake it until you make it!"
"Human! Please take this battle seriously!" Papyrus demanded, rummaging in his bone bag.
"Well, if you insist on that, why don't you take your own advice!" The human smacked the branches of the trees, causing the mass of snow piled on them to fall and knock another set of bones out of the air. "Let's see that [Blue Attack] I've heard so much about!"
"Very well!" Papyrus exhaled, and his hands and club glowed a dark blue. Flailing in the air with his weapon, he conjured yet another set of flying bones, these ones glowing light blue.
But Joseph had dealt with these kinds of spells before earlier today. He stood still as a statue, and Papyrus's attack washed over him harmlessly.
"Really?" Stretching, Joseph pointed down at Papyrus in a mocking manner, as if he was ready to burst out laughing. "That's your famous att-"
He was cut short by a sudden impact to his gut, and a faceful of snow. Gasping in surprise, he struggled to right himself on the branch.
Oh, wait, he was on the ground now. Papyrus must have somehow yanked him off the tree when he wasn't paying attention. Basic tactics, but he was cleverer than Joseph initially thought.
"That is my [Blue Attack]," said Papyrus, wiping the sweat of exertion off of his vertical plate. "Oh, I see! You got the shades of blue magic confused! A natural mistake!"
Joseph rolled his eyes and stood up.
No, he stood up. Stood u-why was it so hard to move? Grunting in pain, the human was barely able to get back to his feet. It was as if suddenly had huge weights strapped to every part of his body.
He looked down at himself, and blinked in surprise. His skin had taken on a blue tint, as if he were holding his breath and about to pass out.
"Dark blue increases gravity, and limits your movement!" Papyrus said, proudly. "Do you like it? The darker shades of blue aren't used too much, so its near-uniqueness multiplies my cool factor by tenfold!"
"Alright, it is impressive," Joseph admitted, wincing as his foe readied his club again. "With me stuck to the ground, it'll be harder to dodge your attacks.
"But," he continued, wrenching his heavy body into a roll to avoid the now much more dangerous bone waves, "there's still plenty of cover here! This sentry station will do nicely!"
"Darn you!" the skeleton shouted melodramatically, shaking his fist and sounding much more camp than he intended. "I'm not going to smash up my own station!"
"I'll come out if you give me a second to catch my breath!"
"Oh! In that case, take your time!" the skeleton responded. Secretly, he also needed the break. Some spaghetti would do wonders to have a cooler and better fight.
A spectral arm emerged from behind the monster, a bowl of undercooked and oversauced spaghetti in its hand.
"Thank you, stranger!" Papyrus said, slurping up the noodles without a moment's thought. Or even noticing where they had come from.
On the other side of the field, Joseph stuffed the last of the rabbit into his mouth, sighing in relief as his bruises and cuts vanished in seconds. Say what you will about monsters getting the short end of almost every other stick, but their cooking was great.
"Can't say I expected this." He wracked his brain, but he came up very short on how to counter the dark blue gravity power of his foe. It looked like the spell was still in effect, and he had no idea how to undo magic. Sort of came with the territory of falling down and going through all this in the span of two days, really.
If Joseph could just hit Papyrus with his own spell, he would be just as disabled as he was, and it would be smooth sailing from there. Or finding some other way to hit him, without having to get close to him and thus waste energy.
"I wonder…" What about the vines that kept showing up near him? Those might help. He concentrated, eyes narrowed and inhaling deeply.
"Whatever you are, now's a good time to show up. Monster, ghost, magic…I don't know what you are. But as long as you show up now-"
The air around Joseph began to shimmer, and vines snaked their way out from under his shirt and out through his sleeves.
"Great!" He grinned.
"Human?" Papyrus's voice called, concerned. "If you'd like, we could take a short break. I have a refreshing, cold can of cola! Since I started our battle, I must allow you some advantage to be fair!"
Slowly, Joseph's head rose over the station desk's top, and stared in disbelief at Papyrus. "Hah! No way I'm falling for that!"
"Er…what?" Papyrus tilted his head in confusion, some more beads of moisture falling from above his eye sockets. "Oh! You must be worried about the kind of soda! Fear not: I, the Great Papyrus, wouldn't lower myself or others to drink diet cola! As with all those as cool as me, I have zero-calorie cola! All the taste, none of the…whatever makes diet soda taste awful!"
"Oh…my…God," Joseph muttered to himself. "He's serious. Well, won't look a gift horse in the mouth," he said, raising his voice so the skeleton could hear it. "Alright, toss it here and we can take a break before I'll kick your ass!"
Stretching his arm back, Papyrus hurled the can through the air with all of his might. It made it all of ten feet before plopping unceremoniously to the ground.
Both men were silent for a moment.
Wordlessly, Joseph willed the vine by his hand to grab the can. Carefully, so as not to prick it with its thorns and waste his prize, the vine brought the can to Joseph, and he eagerly popped it open.
"Fear not! My blue attack is holding steady, so this fight will be over soon!" Papyrus opened his mouth to continue, but another yawn sneaked into his speech. "Huff…huff…this was a long, memorable battle!"
"It's been three minutes!" Joseph objected, noting how the vines were now extending behind him, attached to a spectral purple and gold arm.
The vine from the other arm brushed against the wooden wall of the stall, and it changed. In an instant, it took on a metallic shine and texture. It still retained its shape and structure, but its properties…
He touched the wall, and then grabbed the can from the other vine. They felt the same. Light, frail, and easily crushed. Whatever this thing was…could it somehow force different objects to have the same traits?
Joseph pushed himself to his full height, against the restrictive curse's power, and grinned. He had a wonderful idea.
As Joseph discovered this strange new ability, Papyrus found himself in a similarly bizarre situation.
His vision blurred, and he shook his head to clear his eyesocketsight. He really hoped the human would finish their break soon. He hadn't been this tired in…ever, really.
He wiped more perspiration off of his brow.
"Hurry up! I have to beat you, or I'll never be able to make any friends!"
Wait, that came out wrong. It wasn't what he actually meant. He thought.
He dismissed his club and raised both of his hands to cup around his jaw and get the human to hurry. But, halfway to his face, he noticed the liquid on his hands.
It wasn't sweat. It was a milky white, as pale as his own bones.
Papyrus scratched his forehead in confusion, then yelped as a spike of white-hot pain pierced his mind. Slowly, and with more caution, he tapped his forehead again. It left oddly…soft. As if that part of his body had turned to oatmeal. Or melting ice cream.
He felt something wet land on his shoe. His hand had begun dripping as well.
"Er…human? Could you…"
"Alright? You want to finish this? I will!"
"ARO!"
The wall of his precious sentry station, which he had spent precious…minutes…building suddenly split open with a gaping hole, as if someone had taken siccors to a soda can's frail aluminum casing.
The human stepped out of the hole, and a titan about nine feet tall followed. Its muscular golden limbs further ruined the station as it passed through. The purple vines snaking through its body, as if woven into its flesh, writhed and brimmed with life. Papyrus saw its steely gaze lock eyes with him from underneath its wide-brimmed hat.
"Oh, you…brought a friend?" Papyrus asked. "Well, then I'll use my strongest…wait, no, that's dangerous!...I'll…just use this normal one instead."
With a herculean final effort, Papyrus created a vast line of tall bones, much bigger than Joseph would have been able to jump over or dodge even without the blue curse.
"Not this time," the human said, smirking. "This time, I'll make those bones break! NOW!"
"ARORA!" Whipping its free arm out, the vines spring out of the figure's limb and launched its thorns at the bones. A series of soft thwacks echoed as the thorns hit their marks, and became stuck in the calcium constructs.
"My bones are…too sturdy to be broken by those tiny thorns!" Papyrus announced, trying to ignore that his vision was beginning to blur. "Don't worry; you'll be fine!"
"Oh, is it me you're worried about?" Even with the crushing weight of the blue curse bearing down on his body, Joseph still found the strength to lift his hand to the air, pointing at Papyrus despite the magically-imposed gravity ruining the gravitas of the victory celebration he had intended. "You don't get it? Then I'll explain."
He shifted his hand to point at the bones, now mere feet from his body. Which now possessed a metallic sheen "I've already won."
The plant-like figure rushed forwards, swinging its fists faster than any mortal eye, human or monster, could follow.
"ARORORORORORORORA!" In the span of a few seconds, the bones having taken on the consistency of a soda can, were blown into useless chunks of scrap metal and powdered dust.
Papyrus stared in disbelief.
Joseph stared back, the blue curse fading as his body's coloration returned to normal.
"Well…you won," Papyrus said, slumping to his knees in exhaustion.
"I had to admit, that was one of the toughest fights I've ever had," Joseph said, approaching his defeated foe cautiously as the phantasmal figure faded behind him. "Those bones were too strong to counter head on. But, with that magic…or, whatever it is…I've discovered, I gave those bones the same consistency as the drink you so kindly gave me. And if any average Joe could crush a soda can with their bare hands, well…"
Joseph trailed off. "Wait…are you melting?"
"It seems that I am." Papyrus announced, "Alas, poor Papyrus-"
"Wait…no… OH NO! I didn't mean to kill you!" Joseph interrupted, his voice rising in panic and obvious distress.
"-cut down in the prime of my life," he continued, shockingly blasé about how he was dying. "I only fought because I'd hoped people would be my friend for-"
"No, nononono!" Joseph knelt to the ground, holding his hand to Papyrus's forehead in a vain attempt to stop his forehead from running down the rest of his face. "I didn't know-I thought because I didn't wantto kill you, I couldn't" He gritted his teeth in frusturation, his entire body starting to shake in the heat of the moment. "Isn't that how magic works?"
"Well…at least you seem cool." Papyrus pointed towards Joseph's knapsack, which had fallen to the ground along with the panicking human. He gestured towards the bottle of spider cider that had fallen out. "You're…supporting local buisnesses! And…helping the…economy!"
"Damnit, damnit!" Something dripped down Papyrus's face. But it wasn't liquefied bone.
Joseph quickly fell backwards, his tears clearly only making the problem worse. "There has to be some way to stop this! The magic food, green spells, anything!"
"You can't heal what's falling away!" Papyrus smiled sadly. "I guess I was too cool to live. My body can't handle it, and it's losing its mass as a result. It's not your fault, human…well, it is, but, I don't blame you. It…was nice meeting you."
"Losing mass-" Joseph repeated, his eyes widening in surprise. Then, they immediately narrowed in determination.
The ghostly figure reappeared behind him, pressing a thorned hand to Papyrus's side, who had lapsed into unconsciousness as his body continued to deteriorate.
"If I gave the bones the same qualities as the can, then could I give you…"
Joseph gritted his teeth. "Only one way to find out. This is probably going to hurt." His entire body tensed up. "For both of us."
The air around the two began to shimmer and glow.
As it turns out, Joseph was right. It hurt. A lot.
Many monsters nearby heard the yelling, but many were too intimidated or uninterested to investigate. No doubt one of those Waterfall folks went on a stroll and fell into a snowdrift (ah, the cons of being cold-blooded). Or similar excuses.
The skeleton sitting at a sentry station between the borders of the two towns was not one of them. He paused in idly skipping stones across a small puddle (while he was still sitting at the desk).
"hey, didn't that come from where papyrus said he wanted to fight the human?"
For a moment, the monster almost decided against going there-he had just gotten a new record for most skips per stone, and didn't want to break his streak. But…this fight sounded like it had escalated wayfrom a friendly bout with his brother to serious injuries.
Ignoring the Echo Flower next to him repeating what he had just said, Sans rose from his seat. The air around him distorted, and he was suddenly right outside (what was left of) his brother's station.
He could have just walked there, since it was less than a quarter mile's walk, but his shortcut spell was quicker. Also, he didn't feel expending the energy'd b worth it. That was valuable calories that could be put to better effort. Like thinking up puns. And cooking hot dogs.
A burst of cold wind blew his sweatshirt's hood back, and he shrugged his bony shoulders to settle it back into place.
And then he stopped.
On the ground, lying faceup in the snow, were Papyrus and the human visitor. Joseph, wasn't it?
Were this the surface (and were he not a lazy bum), Sans would have been far more concerned than he was now. But he, as everyone else, knew monsters instantly turn to dust upon death. Meaning Papyrus was fine. But the human?
Sans bent down to look at the unconscious youth. Did he look a bit…different from when they first met? His clothes hung loosely on him, and he seemed smaller somehow.
Well, not like he was an expert on humans, much less anyone with flesh on their bones. He'd ask Joseph himself about it when he woke up. He was still breathing, after all, and his SOUL…
Wait. Something about his SOUL seemed different. One of Sans's eyesockets went dark, and the other glowed a piercing blue, as the magic of all things around him became clear to see.
In the center of the human's chest, Sans could see his SOUL pulsing softly, the red heart symbolizing his spirit beating strong. But now, it was as if it was bigger. As if someone had drawn thick outlines on a 2d shape.
"huh." Sans cocked his head slightly, a sharp crack sounding as the air pockets between his neck's bones popped. In the corner of his eye, he saw Papyrus's white SOUL overlaying his body.
With the same lines.
Sans's breath caught in his mouth, and he froze ramrod still.
He was absolutely silent, until he saw that the SOUL looked pretty stable, showing no signs of shaking itself apart or becoming too strong to hold in a monster's semisolid body.
Papyrus's brother breathed a sigh of relief. "wow. guess things got kinda out of control. didn't see that coming."
Still, at least both of them were in two pieces.
He looked down at Papyrus, and flinched, eyes flickering for a moment. Nothing major had changed…but those cracks above and below his respective eyesockets were…
…just a coincidence, and nothing to look into. At least, that's what Sans told himself. There was also a discoloration shaped like a five-pointed star on his scapula, but he could probably chalk that up to the human's own DNA getting mixed in.
The noise of loud panting caught Sans's attention. He turned around to see the Greater Dog, the leader of Snowdin's Royal Guard outpost, towering over him and the unconscious duo.
"hey, boy," Sans said. The Dog leaned down to sniff at Papyrus's sleeping form, and his brother scratched the guard behind his floppy ears. "looks like papyrus beat the human. but, uh…he wore himself out. thisis why I take it easy, bro. can you help me get them home?"
Greater Dog barked in affirmation, picked Papyrus up by the collar of his laboriously hand-crafted armor, and bounded off to the skeleton brothers' house.
With strength one would not expect from a chubby, short, muscle-less skeleton, Sans hoisted Joseph over his shoulder and hauled him back home.
"Nnngh," Joseph groaned, eyes still closed and barely awake.
"jojo, right?" Sans paused. "i mean, joseph joestar's a bit long. mind if i shorten it?"
"Mmmmhhhhgh," the human grumbled. "Whappen'ed? Did-"
"he's fine. thanks for that, by the way." Sans rummaged in his pocket and grabbed his house key, unlocking the front door. "if i were you, i'd sleep for a bit. sleep is always great."
"FFFne," JoJo mumbled, climbing out of Sans's grasp, and making it all of five shaky steps before falling into an immediate sleep on the nearby cough.
"and we've got a lot to talk about later," Sans finished to himself, as he moved aside to let Greater Dog get Papyrus to his room. "[stands]…never thought i'd see another one ever again. much less two. looks like things-"
"-just got interesting," the tiny figure at the outskirts of town said. He withdrew the vines he had extended beneath the house: while it was too risky to get close enough to see what the human had done (thanks to him), he could still hear perfectly well from the vibrations of sound waves.
It was already great enough that another human had fallen down into the Underground. For all of the problems that pesky Barrier the humans threw up after their war posed, it wasn't impregnable. From the outside.
But this human in particular?
"Hee hee hee…guess that's the 'shining star.'" The figure mused, petals blowing slightly in the breeze. "Time to make a wish. Even with the problem he caused, it's still the perfect time for the fun to begin."
Flowey the flower chuckled.
"All the pieces are in place. Now, it's time to kick it all off! Maybe by kicking that big moron's face in!"
The chuckling turned to full-blown laughter.
"I hope you put on a hell of a show…after all, I've been waiting for you…JoJo!"
Flowey laughed, harder than anything without lungs should've been able to. He burrowed into the ground, vanishing deeper into the Underground.
Monster Oddyssey
A Crossover between JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and Undertale
<-To be continued
This is a mirror of the fic I'm posting on SB. Comments and such are allowed and appreciated.
Chapter 2: Discoveries, Stands, and Danger
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
"This is a one-way door to the outside world. I'm going to destroy it so no one will ever be able to leave again."
"...Oh, so you're that kind of parent. Y'know, you could just adopt. I'm sure any kids around here would love to have those pies all the time!"
She flung out her arm, and Joseph's advance past her was forcefully halted by an invisible something fazing into reality and smacking him in the face. "You may joke now, but you don't know how serious this is. If you leave, they...Asgore will kill you. I have seen this time and time again."
As JoJo stretched his legs and drew his hand back to push himself up, he could have sworn he saw a spectral figure, yellow wings outstretched to form a barrier against all passage. Then, it vanished. More magic, no doubt. So he probably did see it.
"And how long ago was that? Decades? Centuries? Look, I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm not staying here. I've got places to be, and I'm not a little kid you can push around!"
At that last line, Joseph drew himself up to his full height and looked Toriel over, already trying to find some weakness or way he could get out of this without having to beat up a little old lady to get back to his family. That wouldn't sit well with him, obviously.
Toriel stopped short of the aforementioned door, and sighed heavily. Slowly, she turned around, barely noticing that Joseph was, in fact, as tall as she was. Even though he may have been older than most of the humans that ended up here, he certainly didn't act like it. And he was an innocent: were she to let him go as she did all the others, nothing in the Underground would be able to save him from dying at Asgore's hand. Just like all the others.
"So, you truly want to leave?"
"Wanting has nothing to do with it. I'm leaving. And you won't stop me!"
"Then prove it."
Toriel's fist clenched. Then, it opened, fire blazing from her clawtips and in her palm. From a handful of flames sprung an enormous nimbus of fireballs, surrounding her in a dazzling and awesome display of light and magic. Behind her, the air began to flicker, as the winged, angelic creature reappeared.
"Prove to me that you are strong enough, clever enough, good enough to survive."
Joseph's eyes slowly blinked open as the dull soreness in all his muscles wrenched him from dreamland and dragged him back to the waking world.
"So, she had the same power that Papyrus has." He stared down at his hand, and his mysterious ally's arm flickered into view next to his own. "Or, I suppose, the same power I have."
He had never believed in magic before this all started. Real magic, that is: growing up, he had always been amazed with street magicians and their sleight of hand. He had always loved practical jokes as a kid, and learning ledgerdemain elevated him to something of a legend in the schoolyard. It also got him into a lot of trouble, but it was worth a few days of detention to show up some smarmy smarter-than-you teacher who delighted in the misery of tormenting his classmates.
But around the time that he met a talking flower that tried to kill him and a walking goat lady who could throw fire that didn't actually burn things, he immediately began to reconsider. He never expected to develop that kind of power himself.
Yet JoJo knew such monologuing would have to come later. Namely, as his mind cleared from the grogginess all people (human or monster) have upon first awakening, he remembered his immediate goal in between his memories and musings: getting home.
He did remember something vaguely after his fight with Papyrus and the pain that had been afterwards: apparently he was safe and sound, which was good to know.
But that, and all other big ideas, vanished the moment he slid to the edge of the couch and looked into the semi-reflective screen of the old CRT-TV on the other side of the living room.
He looked at the lanky, svelte, and distinctively not muscular young man the surface reflected.
Joseph Joestar's eye twitched.
And a floor above him, Papyrus was rudely awoken from a sound and restful sleep of twelve-plus hours by a wall-shaking yell of "OH MY GOOOOOOD!"
Chapter 2
In Which JoJo and Sans go to White Castle, Papyrus Becomes an Astronaut, and the Sound Barrier is broken to itty bitty pieces.
"oh, hey. thanks for waking me up, jojo."
Joseph was cut short from a frustrated and aggravated rant by the sudden realization that Sans was sitting right next to him. He had not been there the moment prior, but now he was, like a rainstorm in the spring.
"Where the hell did you come from?" he asked, deciding to compartmentalize his laundry list of complaints for later. Muscles grew back, over time. And honestly, it's not like he used them much. He preferred making enemies beat themselves over a straight slugfest. It was more the principle of it, honestly. Oh, and the pain.
"my room. or my house. or the underground. how specific should i be?"
JoJo rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant. You just showed up in the blink of an eye. I didn't see or hear any doors open, and this couch is a great viewpoint for the rest of the house, so I would have. More magic? Like that spirit I figured out how to conjure before?"
"stands ain't magic. they're…" Sans tapped at his bony chin throughtfully, trying to think of how to explain this complex topic in layman's terms. "different. they can't do as much, but they are really good at what they do. like mustard."
"…what?"
Seemingly ignoring his confusion, Sans looked upwards, towards the house's other bedroom. "tell you what. i'm hungry, and i wanna make sure by brother doesn't blow up from his own stand. i'll check on him, and then i'll answer your questions over lunch at grillbys. my treat."
Well, he wasn't going to get answer so quickly out of someone who was somehow lazier than he was. "Alright, alright. I was going to finish up the comic I had with me anyways-it was one of the only things I had on me when I fell down here." He reached down to his bag, lying at the side of the couch.
"Do you read comics? I know you guys don't get much of that down here…or much of anything, because of the [Barrier] I keep hearing so much about…but I'd like to think that superheroes are one of those things that cross all cultural boundaries. There's something about the lead triumphing over a stronger foe by using their wits and..."
JoJo trailed off as he immediately realized his mistake in taking his eyes off of Sans, "…you're already gone, aren't you?"
The monster did not respond. Likely because he was no longer there. Out of the corner of his eye, Joseph could see the door to Papyrus's room swing shut with nary a squeak to be heard from the well-oiled hinges.
Bones creaked as he stirred from a fitful sleep into a painful waking world. Not out of any pathos or depression, because he felt much better after his rest. No, his bones were just sore. They creaked in distress, and they felt…swollen? Did the human get snow stuck in his battle body in their fight?
"oh, hey bro. good to see you're up."
Papyrus's eyesockets flared to life as he heard the telltale voice of his lazy brother enter the room. Presumably, the rest of his body followed it in.
"…Sans?" Papyrus croaked out, slowly and painfully rising from his prized bed-car. "What…How long was I out?!" He demanded, suddenly snapping back into his usual energetic state. "Do you have any idea what I could've gotten done in whatever time I've been napping?!"
"not much. i mean, the human wiped the floor with you. and i think whatever he did to you at the end left you outta commission for a while." He was suddenly at the other end of the room, having apparently been too lazy to walk over and sit in Papyrus's desk chair.
"Wait…the human is gone?" Papyrus interrupted.
"uh-"
"No. No I'm not."
Papyrus nearly jumped out of bed when the human walked into his room. He looked-
"Gah! Human, what happened to your bulk?"
"Oh, is that all you noticed?" a much lankier and skinner human muttered, drawing his belt tighter in an effort to keep his pants up. "I thought you'd see more than that! I cut my hair, I shaved, I even remembered to floss…but no, you go straight to the body! How shallow!"
His expression softened a little. "Alright, what I think happened is that I used my invisible friend back there to give you some of my muscle mass to stop you from dying. Like a bone marrow transfusion…except all at once. With no painkillers. You're welcome."
"I…don't really remember what happened. So…we came to a draw? Ha! Impressive you were able to equal the great Papyrus!"
"Hey, what are friends for if they don't challenge each other?" he said, smirking.
"…friend?" Papyrus asked, quietly. "…You're my friend?"
"Better us friends then having to kill each other, so sure. Friends."
"WOWIE!" Papyrus leaned forwards in exuberance, ignoring the bed's dangerously loud creaks of distress. "Who knew all I had to do to make friends was-"
A storm of sudden movement and the sharp snapping of hardwood forcefully cut Papyrus off, as his bed collapsed under his weight. Right alongside the floor.
The three of them didn't move at first. JoJo and Sans looked down at Papyrus. Papyrus looked up at the others from his position atop the pile of rubble that had formerly been his bed and part of the ceiling.
"Saaaaaaaans!" he finally screamed, rising from the rubble. "I TOLD you to use better construction materials when we built the house all those years ago! You skimped on costs again, didn't you?!"
"uh, actually I did use the right wood." Sans scratched the back of his skull, barely holding back a chuckle or four. "looks like you got heavier, bro. guess jojo was right about the 'mass transfusion' thing."
"Argh! Do you know how difficult it was to build this thing?!" Papyrus continued to gripe, as he rose higher to his full height. "To find the right kind of rubber for the tires, which are now punctured? To find the right size of metal scrap to make the axles? To-"
"To realize you're floating?" JoJo interrupted.
Papyrus abruptly stopped, and looked down. He was still rising. As in, rising into the air. "Oh. So I am, huma-er, JoJo. I don't recall learning levitation spells."
"you didn't" Sans replied, looking behind him as Papyrus experimentally tried to flap his arms to fly higher. And only succeeding in making himself look silly as he still gently and gradually ascended higher. "guess we know what your stand does now."
"Alright, you got me," Joseph admitted as he stared at the titan who had manifested itself behind Papyrus. "I'd understand my [Stand] well enough if it were just your usual magic you monsters use. But if that…zombie in armor and a top hat and basketballs…is somehow the same thing as mine, I have to know the answer to that." He laughed. "I think I'll have that lunch now."
"okay." Sans walked forward. He then fell through the new hole in the floor, brushing off the rather large fall with no reaction and heading to the door. "what temperature do you want your burgers? the cook's made of fire, so i hope you like well-done."
"Grillbys again?" Papyrus said, sighing. "I don't care if they've started using magic instead of reused human oil to fry everything, it's still not good for you!"
"Hey, I feel like I haven't eaten anything in days," Joseph countered. Experimentally, he climbed onto the stairwell's railings and slid down, pleased to know his unintentional makeover hadn't affected his balance. "If it's edible and tastes like food, I'm game."
"…wait a moment. Sans, how do I get my Stand to stop?" Papyrus asked, still floating higher.
"i guarantee, kid. you'll like it, or your money back."
"Sans, how do I get down?!"
"If you're paying, what good is that guarantee?"
"HOW DO I GET DOWN?!"
"touché, jojo." Sans paused as JoJo walked out the door and he prepared to follow. "bro, you're the one who always insists on doing the crosswords and other puzzles in the paper on your own. you can figure this out yourself. if not…we'll be back in a half hour or so."
Papyrus silently fumed as Sans closed their front door.
"…if only I could remember how those humans moved in space in that one movie," he muttered to himself, still flailing helplessly in midair.
The bar erupted into a chorus of "Hello," "Hi!," and other forms of greeting as Sans and JoJo entered the pub in the middle of town.
Sans greeted them all in turn, then continued onward.
"Lot of dogs here," JoJo noted as the two strode to the bar and took some stools near the register. "They just like you 'cause they want to chew your bones up?"
"not quite, buddy. i just give them the food scraps i don't eat."
The walking shape of fire and flames emerged from the kitchen, noting Sans was there with a few embers and crackles of greeting. He took the pair's orders and returned to the kitchen.
"I think you promised to explain how those Stands are different from the magic I've seen all other monsters use?" JoJo asked.
"yep, i sure did. this'll need props. pass me the mustard and ketchup?"
Though he had no idea where the skeleton was going with this, JoJo retrieved the condiments from an empty table via his Stand and handed them to Sans. He tried to ignore how most of the attendants of the poker game the next table over were now barking at his Stand. The Lesser Dog (according to his nameplate) even tried to sniff the apparition, only to whine in disappointment when it faded away.
"think of it like this." Sans moved the twin bottles of ketchup and mustard and placed them in front of him. "ketchup is magic. it makes anything you put it on taste better, and you can put it on anything you want because every place has it. but it can't make much taste great: only really good."
He pointed to the mustard next. "now, stands are mustard. they're rarer than ketchup and not everyone has them. and if it's spicy mustard, not everyone can handle it, and won't be able to keep the food down. but it can make things great, and can do things most pro magicians'd need centuries of practice to pull."
"…You know, that actually makes sense," Joseph remarked as the bartender returned with their food. "But there's more to it, isn't it? When my Stand was tearing through those bones out there, I felt those punches on my hands. That's not like all those magic bullets I was pelted with since I landed here, right?"
"yep. stands aren't just a projection of you: they are you. it's your SOUL given form. so, if something happens to your stand, it happens to you." Sans proceeded to dump the entire container of ketchup on his fries and chowed down on the vegetable mess. "that's the most important thing to remember: if your stand gets hurt, so do you."
"Heh…I figured it was too good a deal to come without some drawbacks." The human said. "Always two sides to a coin. Unless you count the edge: people always seem to forget about that in coin flips."
"also, a stand's range is connected to its power. so, if your stand can only do stuff really close to you, it'll be super strong to compensate. and vice-versa with the other way around." Sans slowly swirled his class of ketchup (how much could a single person have in one sitting, anyways?). "that's pretty much it. though…there's something else i wanted to ask you."
Shrugging, JoJo dug into his burger, shivering slightly as a customer's exit left the door open for the freezing cold to enter. "Shoot."
"have you ever heard…of a [talking flower?]"
Outside the bar, Doggo whined softly as he closed the door and stumbled outside, the door vanishing behind him as it went still. Bad enough that he was losing the poker game and sending most of his weekly paycheck down the drain, but the cravings had to kick in now, too?
He really had picked the wrong week to give up smoking dog treats.
Grumbling, the canine-esque monster snapped his paw to produce a spark (red magic had never been his best spells-he always ended up setting himself on fire if he did more than a candle's worth of flame. A shame, since it helped to see his way around late at night, when everyone slept still).
As he made his way to the back of the building, he brought up the dog treat to the sparks, setting it ablaze.
He took a deep drag from the foodstuff, and coughed as the pseudo-narcotic kicked in. But as he took a second puff, something moved far behind him.
"WHOZZERE?!"
He barked, turning in circles several times. But the blur of motion had faded, leaving behind only the cold, clear night around him. Slowly, his ears lowered, and he relit his treat.
But the moment he tried to take another drag, another burst of movement blazed through town, this time closer to him.
"MOVED AGAIN!" he yelped. But then, nothing.
"I said I'd quit tomorrow!" Doggo whined, self-consciously hiding the rest of the pack of treats behind his back. "Knock it off!"
For the next few moments, he didn't see anything else. He turned back around again, relighting and partaking in another puff of smoked dog treat.
But no matter how much of the smoke he inhaled, he couldn't help but stop shivering.
Whoever was moving had left…right? But why could he still hear laughter? Surely there was no one there?
He growled in frustration, Must have been an echo or something.
Long echo, though. It just kept getting louder. Was that how it worked? He would have to ask Greater Dog later-he was pretty smart.
Doggo grunted as the treat blew out again, as the wind picked up out of nowhere. A burst of sound-the booming noise of wind picking up out of nowhere, he guessed-had blown it out.
He held the treat and his paw out in front of him, and lit it.
And that, with a burst of orange, was the last thing Doggo ever saw. Forever.
---
Apoligies that this will be a double post, but Xenforo's giving me formatting problems for some reason, giving me indentations when I don't mean to put them in. Future chapters will be posted in usual snip format, but chapters 1 and 2 are already done, so here's all of them. Well, all of 2 in the following post, anyways.
"...Oh, so you're that kind of parent. Y'know, you could just adopt. I'm sure any kids around here would love to have those pies all the time!"
She flung out her arm, and Joseph's advance past her was forcefully halted by an invisible something fazing into reality and smacking him in the face. "You may joke now, but you don't know how serious this is. If you leave, they...Asgore will kill you. I have seen this time and time again."
As JoJo stretched his legs and drew his hand back to push himself up, he could have sworn he saw a spectral figure, yellow wings outstretched to form a barrier against all passage. Then, it vanished. More magic, no doubt. So he probably did see it.
"And how long ago was that? Decades? Centuries? Look, I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm not staying here. I've got places to be, and I'm not a little kid you can push around!"
At that last line, Joseph drew himself up to his full height and looked Toriel over, already trying to find some weakness or way he could get out of this without having to beat up a little old lady to get back to his family. That wouldn't sit well with him, obviously.
Toriel stopped short of the aforementioned door, and sighed heavily. Slowly, she turned around, barely noticing that Joseph was, in fact, as tall as she was. Even though he may have been older than most of the humans that ended up here, he certainly didn't act like it. And he was an innocent: were she to let him go as she did all the others, nothing in the Underground would be able to save him from dying at Asgore's hand. Just like all the others.
"So, you truly want to leave?"
"Wanting has nothing to do with it. I'm leaving. And you won't stop me!"
"Then prove it."
Toriel's fist clenched. Then, it opened, fire blazing from her clawtips and in her palm. From a handful of flames sprung an enormous nimbus of fireballs, surrounding her in a dazzling and awesome display of light and magic. Behind her, the air began to flicker, as the winged, angelic creature reappeared.
"Prove to me that you are strong enough, clever enough, good enough to survive."
Joseph's eyes slowly blinked open as the dull soreness in all his muscles wrenched him from dreamland and dragged him back to the waking world.
"So, she had the same power that Papyrus has." He stared down at his hand, and his mysterious ally's arm flickered into view next to his own. "Or, I suppose, the same power I have."
He had never believed in magic before this all started. Real magic, that is: growing up, he had always been amazed with street magicians and their sleight of hand. He had always loved practical jokes as a kid, and learning ledgerdemain elevated him to something of a legend in the schoolyard. It also got him into a lot of trouble, but it was worth a few days of detention to show up some smarmy smarter-than-you teacher who delighted in the misery of tormenting his classmates.
But around the time that he met a talking flower that tried to kill him and a walking goat lady who could throw fire that didn't actually burn things, he immediately began to reconsider. He never expected to develop that kind of power himself.
Yet JoJo knew such monologuing would have to come later. Namely, as his mind cleared from the grogginess all people (human or monster) have upon first awakening, he remembered his immediate goal in between his memories and musings: getting home.
He did remember something vaguely after his fight with Papyrus and the pain that had been afterwards: apparently he was safe and sound, which was good to know.
But that, and all other big ideas, vanished the moment he slid to the edge of the couch and looked into the semi-reflective screen of the old CRT-TV on the other side of the living room.
He looked at the lanky, svelte, and distinctively not muscular young man the surface reflected.
Joseph Joestar's eye twitched.
And a floor above him, Papyrus was rudely awoken from a sound and restful sleep of twelve-plus hours by a wall-shaking yell of "OH MY GOOOOOOD!"
Chapter 2
In Which JoJo and Sans go to White Castle, Papyrus Becomes an Astronaut, and the Sound Barrier is broken to itty bitty pieces.
"oh, hey. thanks for waking me up, jojo."
Joseph was cut short from a frustrated and aggravated rant by the sudden realization that Sans was sitting right next to him. He had not been there the moment prior, but now he was, like a rainstorm in the spring.
"Where the hell did you come from?" he asked, deciding to compartmentalize his laundry list of complaints for later. Muscles grew back, over time. And honestly, it's not like he used them much. He preferred making enemies beat themselves over a straight slugfest. It was more the principle of it, honestly. Oh, and the pain.
"my room. or my house. or the underground. how specific should i be?"
JoJo rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant. You just showed up in the blink of an eye. I didn't see or hear any doors open, and this couch is a great viewpoint for the rest of the house, so I would have. More magic? Like that spirit I figured out how to conjure before?"
"stands ain't magic. they're…" Sans tapped at his bony chin throughtfully, trying to think of how to explain this complex topic in layman's terms. "different. they can't do as much, but they are really good at what they do. like mustard."
"…what?"
Seemingly ignoring his confusion, Sans looked upwards, towards the house's other bedroom. "tell you what. i'm hungry, and i wanna make sure by brother doesn't blow up from his own stand. i'll check on him, and then i'll answer your questions over lunch at grillbys. my treat."
Well, he wasn't going to get answer so quickly out of someone who was somehow lazier than he was. "Alright, alright. I was going to finish up the comic I had with me anyways-it was one of the only things I had on me when I fell down here." He reached down to his bag, lying at the side of the couch.
"Do you read comics? I know you guys don't get much of that down here…or much of anything, because of the [Barrier] I keep hearing so much about…but I'd like to think that superheroes are one of those things that cross all cultural boundaries. There's something about the lead triumphing over a stronger foe by using their wits and..."
JoJo trailed off as he immediately realized his mistake in taking his eyes off of Sans, "…you're already gone, aren't you?"
The monster did not respond. Likely because he was no longer there. Out of the corner of his eye, Joseph could see the door to Papyrus's room swing shut with nary a squeak to be heard from the well-oiled hinges.
Bones creaked as he stirred from a fitful sleep into a painful waking world. Not out of any pathos or depression, because he felt much better after his rest. No, his bones were just sore. They creaked in distress, and they felt…swollen? Did the human get snow stuck in his battle body in their fight?
"oh, hey bro. good to see you're up."
Papyrus's eyesockets flared to life as he heard the telltale voice of his lazy brother enter the room. Presumably, the rest of his body followed it in.
"…Sans?" Papyrus croaked out, slowly and painfully rising from his prized bed-car. "What…How long was I out?!" He demanded, suddenly snapping back into his usual energetic state. "Do you have any idea what I could've gotten done in whatever time I've been napping?!"
"not much. i mean, the human wiped the floor with you. and i think whatever he did to you at the end left you outta commission for a while." He was suddenly at the other end of the room, having apparently been too lazy to walk over and sit in Papyrus's desk chair.
"Wait…the human is gone?" Papyrus interrupted.
"uh-"
"No. No I'm not."
Papyrus nearly jumped out of bed when the human walked into his room. He looked-
"Gah! Human, what happened to your bulk?"
"Oh, is that all you noticed?" a much lankier and skinner human muttered, drawing his belt tighter in an effort to keep his pants up. "I thought you'd see more than that! I cut my hair, I shaved, I even remembered to floss…but no, you go straight to the body! How shallow!"
His expression softened a little. "Alright, what I think happened is that I used my invisible friend back there to give you some of my muscle mass to stop you from dying. Like a bone marrow transfusion…except all at once. With no painkillers. You're welcome."
"I…don't really remember what happened. So…we came to a draw? Ha! Impressive you were able to equal the great Papyrus!"
"Hey, what are friends for if they don't challenge each other?" he said, smirking.
"…friend?" Papyrus asked, quietly. "…You're my friend?"
"Better us friends then having to kill each other, so sure. Friends."
"WOWIE!" Papyrus leaned forwards in exuberance, ignoring the bed's dangerously loud creaks of distress. "Who knew all I had to do to make friends was-"
A storm of sudden movement and the sharp snapping of hardwood forcefully cut Papyrus off, as his bed collapsed under his weight. Right alongside the floor.
The three of them didn't move at first. JoJo and Sans looked down at Papyrus. Papyrus looked up at the others from his position atop the pile of rubble that had formerly been his bed and part of the ceiling.
"Saaaaaaaans!" he finally screamed, rising from the rubble. "I TOLD you to use better construction materials when we built the house all those years ago! You skimped on costs again, didn't you?!"
"uh, actually I did use the right wood." Sans scratched the back of his skull, barely holding back a chuckle or four. "looks like you got heavier, bro. guess jojo was right about the 'mass transfusion' thing."
"Argh! Do you know how difficult it was to build this thing?!" Papyrus continued to gripe, as he rose higher to his full height. "To find the right kind of rubber for the tires, which are now punctured? To find the right size of metal scrap to make the axles? To-"
"To realize you're floating?" JoJo interrupted.
Papyrus abruptly stopped, and looked down. He was still rising. As in, rising into the air. "Oh. So I am, huma-er, JoJo. I don't recall learning levitation spells."
"you didn't" Sans replied, looking behind him as Papyrus experimentally tried to flap his arms to fly higher. And only succeeding in making himself look silly as he still gently and gradually ascended higher. "guess we know what your stand does now."
"Alright, you got me," Joseph admitted as he stared at the titan who had manifested itself behind Papyrus. "I'd understand my [Stand] well enough if it were just your usual magic you monsters use. But if that…zombie in armor and a top hat and basketballs…is somehow the same thing as mine, I have to know the answer to that." He laughed. "I think I'll have that lunch now."
"okay." Sans walked forward. He then fell through the new hole in the floor, brushing off the rather large fall with no reaction and heading to the door. "what temperature do you want your burgers? the cook's made of fire, so i hope you like well-done."
"Grillbys again?" Papyrus said, sighing. "I don't care if they've started using magic instead of reused human oil to fry everything, it's still not good for you!"
"Hey, I feel like I haven't eaten anything in days," Joseph countered. Experimentally, he climbed onto the stairwell's railings and slid down, pleased to know his unintentional makeover hadn't affected his balance. "If it's edible and tastes like food, I'm game."
"…wait a moment. Sans, how do I get my Stand to stop?" Papyrus asked, still floating higher.
"i guarantee, kid. you'll like it, or your money back."
"Sans, how do I get down?!"
"If you're paying, what good is that guarantee?"
"HOW DO I GET DOWN?!"
"touché, jojo." Sans paused as JoJo walked out the door and he prepared to follow. "bro, you're the one who always insists on doing the crosswords and other puzzles in the paper on your own. you can figure this out yourself. if not…we'll be back in a half hour or so."
Papyrus silently fumed as Sans closed their front door.
"…if only I could remember how those humans moved in space in that one movie," he muttered to himself, still flailing helplessly in midair.
Sans greeted them all in turn, then continued onward.
"Lot of dogs here," JoJo noted as the two strode to the bar and took some stools near the register. "They just like you 'cause they want to chew your bones up?"
"not quite, buddy. i just give them the food scraps i don't eat."
The walking shape of fire and flames emerged from the kitchen, noting Sans was there with a few embers and crackles of greeting. He took the pair's orders and returned to the kitchen.
"I think you promised to explain how those Stands are different from the magic I've seen all other monsters use?" JoJo asked.
"yep, i sure did. this'll need props. pass me the mustard and ketchup?"
Though he had no idea where the skeleton was going with this, JoJo retrieved the condiments from an empty table via his Stand and handed them to Sans. He tried to ignore how most of the attendants of the poker game the next table over were now barking at his Stand. The Lesser Dog (according to his nameplate) even tried to sniff the apparition, only to whine in disappointment when it faded away.
"think of it like this." Sans moved the twin bottles of ketchup and mustard and placed them in front of him. "ketchup is magic. it makes anything you put it on taste better, and you can put it on anything you want because every place has it. but it can't make much taste great: only really good."
He pointed to the mustard next. "now, stands are mustard. they're rarer than ketchup and not everyone has them. and if it's spicy mustard, not everyone can handle it, and won't be able to keep the food down. but it can make things great, and can do things most pro magicians'd need centuries of practice to pull."
"…You know, that actually makes sense," Joseph remarked as the bartender returned with their food. "But there's more to it, isn't it? When my Stand was tearing through those bones out there, I felt those punches on my hands. That's not like all those magic bullets I was pelted with since I landed here, right?"
"yep. stands aren't just a projection of you: they are you. it's your SOUL given form. so, if something happens to your stand, it happens to you." Sans proceeded to dump the entire container of ketchup on his fries and chowed down on the vegetable mess. "that's the most important thing to remember: if your stand gets hurt, so do you."
"Heh…I figured it was too good a deal to come without some drawbacks." The human said. "Always two sides to a coin. Unless you count the edge: people always seem to forget about that in coin flips."
"also, a stand's range is connected to its power. so, if your stand can only do stuff really close to you, it'll be super strong to compensate. and vice-versa with the other way around." Sans slowly swirled his class of ketchup (how much could a single person have in one sitting, anyways?). "that's pretty much it. though…there's something else i wanted to ask you."
Shrugging, JoJo dug into his burger, shivering slightly as a customer's exit left the door open for the freezing cold to enter. "Shoot."
"have you ever heard…of a [talking flower?]"
Outside the bar, Doggo whined softly as he closed the door and stumbled outside, the door vanishing behind him as it went still. Bad enough that he was losing the poker game and sending most of his weekly paycheck down the drain, but the cravings had to kick in now, too?
He really had picked the wrong week to give up smoking dog treats.
Grumbling, the canine-esque monster snapped his paw to produce a spark (red magic had never been his best spells-he always ended up setting himself on fire if he did more than a candle's worth of flame. A shame, since it helped to see his way around late at night, when everyone slept still).
As he made his way to the back of the building, he brought up the dog treat to the sparks, setting it ablaze.
He took a deep drag from the foodstuff, and coughed as the pseudo-narcotic kicked in. But as he took a second puff, something moved far behind him.
"WHOZZERE?!"
He barked, turning in circles several times. But the blur of motion had faded, leaving behind only the cold, clear night around him. Slowly, his ears lowered, and he relit his treat.
But the moment he tried to take another drag, another burst of movement blazed through town, this time closer to him.
"MOVED AGAIN!" he yelped. But then, nothing.
"I said I'd quit tomorrow!" Doggo whined, self-consciously hiding the rest of the pack of treats behind his back. "Knock it off!"
For the next few moments, he didn't see anything else. He turned back around again, relighting and partaking in another puff of smoked dog treat.
But no matter how much of the smoke he inhaled, he couldn't help but stop shivering.
Whoever was moving had left…right? But why could he still hear laughter? Surely there was no one there?
He growled in frustration, Must have been an echo or something.
Long echo, though. It just kept getting louder. Was that how it worked? He would have to ask Greater Dog later-he was pretty smart.
Doggo grunted as the treat blew out again, as the wind picked up out of nowhere. A burst of sound-the booming noise of wind picking up out of nowhere, he guessed-had blown it out.
He held the treat and his paw out in front of him, and lit it.
And that, with a burst of orange, was the last thing Doggo ever saw. Forever.
---
Apoligies that this will be a double post, but Xenforo's giving me formatting problems for some reason, giving me indentations when I don't mean to put them in. Future chapters will be posted in usual snip format, but chapters 1 and 2 are already done, so here's all of them. Well, all of 2 in the following post, anyways.
Chapter 2: Names, Bravery, and Battle-Also Stand Stats: Synchronicity and Thriller
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
"A [talking flower]?" JoJo shoved the last of the burger into his mouth and started washing it down with the can of soda Grillby had just placed on the countertop. "I met a talking turnip or something in the Ruins—where I was heading from when I saw you at the gate. But something tells me that's not the kinda flower you mean."
Sans noticed that JoJo's empty hand was clenched into a fist, and his brow was furrowed in some deep emotion. Frustration, maybe?
Sans looked around. Left, then right. Then, one of the dots of light in his eyesockets faded to nothingness—the other eye glowing a piercing blue, he looked at the floor. "okay, we're clear. if he'd been here, i would have had to talk about echo flowers instead, so he wouldn't know he's onto us. seeing how your mood just backflipped, you know who i mean, don't you?"
"The first thing I met when I fell down here was a talking flower. Called himself [Flowey]. You know him too, don't you?"
"so we're cutting right to the chase, huh?" Sans waved Grillby over and ordered a glass of the hard stuff. He'd need a pick me up if he were going to talk about that thing for long. "yeah, i've seen it, a few times. lurking around the house, around where i used to work at new home, and even in waterfall—the next town over—now and again.
"for now, i'll skip over how he's a total jerk with no respect for anyone else and probably murdered someone recently. he's dangerous, buddy. he's got enough magic to blow a hole in a human being with one flick of a petal. and that would be bad enough. but it may have a [stand] as well. a really strong one."
"…Yeah, that's definitely him," Joseph agreed. "So, what're you trying to say? That he's a gigantic prick? That he's going to try and kill me? I knew that already. Believe me. I know. He tried, and he came closer than anyone else yet, under or above ground."
"i'm saying to be careful, kid." Sans got up from his seat and tossed a bag of gold onto the counter. "look, i like ya. you laugh at my jokes, and you saved my brother's life. so i won't beat around the bush: be careful. listen around you—i can feel a storm coming. watch out for the thunder, and be ready for that thing to pull something. keep that stand of yours strong."
"Wait a sec, that reminds me of something else I wanted to know," Joseph said, whirling around in his seat, this time managing to catch Sans before he mysteriously disappeared again. "How do you know so much about Stands, if they're as rare as you said down here? Do you have one of your own?"
"oh." Sans paused mid-step out the door, and turned around. "well, to tell you the truth, i—"
He was interrupted by a yelp of agony outside, and then a cracking sound, as if someone had smashed a window to a thousand pieces.
The entire bar fell silent. The bird sitting in the rafters ceased its song, the dogs playing poker in the corner instantly stopped their yipping and boastful bluffing, and even the drunken rabbit trying to flirt with the inanimate plant sitting in the corner of the room froze.
"Eh…someone break something?" Joseph said, shattering the silence. "It's a bar. Things break all the time in these. Speaking from experience."
Lesser Dog was the first to move from their place, bounding outside to check on what had disturbed this peaceful and normal enough night. And mere moments later, the group heard him howl in anguish.
Joseph was the last one out the door, deciding to follow only after everyone else had left the bar to avoid being trampled by the pack of dogs swarming out of the tavern.
He peeked above the shoulders of the Dogi couple. At first, all he could see was a pile of dust on the ground.
"That's it?" he asked. "It sucks if the vacuum or dustpan broke, but you could just get—"
And then he noticed the pile of empty clothes the dust had enveloped, and the still-smoking dog biscuit that had fallen to the floor.
Immediately the civilian bar patrons broke into a frenzy, screaming in terror and panic. Luckily, the fact that enforcers of the law were already present stopped a drunken and fearful riot from breaking out.
Quickly, around a dozen constructs of magical dogs sprung into reality in a circle around Doggo's remains, creating a makeshift police cordon. The Dogi began barking orders to secure the area and find the culprit--meanwhile, their boss began to bark to the people, advising the growing crowd to either return to their homes or stay in groups to avoid what looked and smelled like something dangerous.
"huh. One shot?"
JoJo glanced sideways, noticing Sans near the back of the crowd.
"hey, question. you seemed to have done your homework on monsters, right?"
"Yeah, there…there was a couple of books about monster biology and stuff in the library, when I stopped for lunch yesterday before Papyrus." Ripping his eyes away from the disturbingly corpse-less crime scene in front of him (which was somehow freakier than if an actual dead body were there), he turned around to look at the skeleton. "But it was like thirty pages long, so I used the Wi-Fi to see a video on it instead. Crappy production values, and the connection was slow, but it was good enough."
"okay, so you know that monsters use magic to talk and express emotions and all that jazz?" Sans tilted his head, then jerked his thumb at the crime scene. "and you know we use it to fight, too. you know monsters are way more resilient to magic than you. so if a monster tried to kill another monster, it'd take way longer than one hit."
"You're suggesting that a human killed him, then." Joseph blinked in confusion. "But I thought I was the only one down here?" he asked, lowering his voice to make sure none of the employees of the state would realize Public Enemy Number One was right in front of them. "That's why you guys wanted to capture me, right?"
"your SOUL, and the other six human SOULs, are what we need to break down the [barrier]." Sans's eyes faded, then reappeared, in an approximation of a long blink. "and the other SOULs should still be in new home under lock and key."
"Should be." Joseph groaned, then massaged his temples, trying to pre-emptively take care of an oncoming headache. "So, on top of half the monsters trying to kill me, now we've got a serial killer stirring upmore panic? That might be an escaped ghost or six?"
"sounds like it. but, hey. we beat them once, right? it's how they ended up locked up in the first place. so someone'll just beat them again. nothing to worry about."
"I…guess so." Knowing how many near-death experiences he'd had in the last few days alone, JoJo could attest to monsters being able to defend themselves against humans. At least, when they weren't victim to a sneak attack like that poor puppy or something. "Well, much as I hate to go, I do have to get going. Granny Lucy must be worried sick about me. Why don't we head back to your place, I'll grab my stuff, and I'll be on my way?"
"works for me. 'sides, if our culprit shows up again, papyrus can handle him. he could handle you after all."
"Really? I won that fight, you know!" JoJo complained as the two set off. "I just collapsed after saving his life! Sure, he was tough and all, but I won!"
As the two talked and walked away, neither noticed the entity on the rooftops with the pulsing orange aura surrounding its body. Not that they would have: it was gone for but a moment, before it vanished into thin air.
"So…you must be the 'strong and silent' type I've heard so much about!"
Papyrus's Stand said nothing. The zombie-like construct merely floated in place, standing parallel to its master as he turned upside down from his ill-thought out attempts to get down sent him upside-down.
"Don't worry! I, the Great Papyrus, can do enough talking for the both of us!" Papyrus stopped talking for a moment, scratching his chin. "Actually, you are me, aren't you? At least, that's what Sans implied. How like him to be too lazy to come up with a proper explanation on such an important topic!
"You'll need a name…How about 'Spaghetti Knight?'"
The Stand showed no response.
"…You're right, your powers have nothing to do with spaghetti. Sadly." Papyrus shrugged. "Alright, then why don't I call you [Thriller], because I'm thrilled to have this new power so few possess? At least, until I think of a better name than that placeholder."
The newly-christened Thriller nodded slightly, but did nothing else.
"Excellent! Now, onto the next order of business!" Experimentally, Papyrus conjured a bone and tossed it at the ceiling. His grin grew as he noticed that the momentum of the throw finally forced his body into a velocity moving vaguely downwards. "I see! So my…our control of gravity has become even greater now! Now I can will the fundamental force of nature to bend at my comma—"
At the thought of freely controlling this power, Papyrus subconsciously deactivated his Stand's ability. Unfortunately, he realized this a split-second after he had already cancelled the force holding him aloft. Which led to another painful drop onto the ruins of his bed.
"Ouch!" Grumbling to himself, Papyrus watched as Thriller faded into thin air, its purpose served for now. "Well, the first step was a doozy, but I'm getting the hang of it now! Wait…I have an excellent idea!
"With this new power I've earned, Undyne will surely let me into the Royal Guard now!" Strolling confidently to the door, Papyrus flung it open. "Everyone, I'm off to chase my dreams!"
Papyrus was answered by his brother flying past the door, and the entire town, at speeds faster than he had ever seen in his life. Followed by a blast of ear-breaking sound blowing him off of his feet and shattering every window and pane of glass on the block.
About a minute earlier, JoJo and Sans were walking back to the brothers' house, the former carefully ducking out of the sight of the guards now patrolling town to avoid yet another confrontation. He may love dogs, but he wasn't fond of being bitten by them all over his body. Even with less of him to bite now.
"have you named it yet?"
"Named what? My Stand?"
"yep. i mean, did you just plan on saying 'hey, stand!' whenever you want it to help out?"
"Guess you have a point." The human thought for a moment. "Are they usually named after something? Gods, heroes, baseball teams, anything?"
"it's your stand. you name it."
JoJo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, real helpful." He willed his Stand's vines to manifest around his arm. Then, he bent down briefly, grabbing a handful of snow in one hand, and bringing the other to his collar to touch the hem of his scarf.
Joseph thought for a moment, and experimentally willed his Stand to make a connection between the two, as he did with Papyrus and himself, or the soda can and wall before that. Maybe he could make the snow warmer?
His plan didn't seem to have the intended effect, as the scarf around his neck immediately grew freezing cold, taking on the same temperature of the cold wasteland of the town around them. Yelping in surprise, he quickly forced his Stand to undo the effect, and accordingly, his garment heated up again.
"It can force things to take on the same qualities as other stuff…" he mused aloud. "Alright…how about [Synchronicity]?"
"well, it's a name," Sans confirmed. "'course, quality is subjective, so that's not up for me to say if it's any good. heard better stand names. also heard worse."
"That reminds me." Joseph turned around to face his companion, only a few feet away from the house he had stayed the night prior. "You never did answer how you knew so much about Stands if they're so rare down here. Wanna clarify?"
Sans's jaw bone clacked open, as he took a deep breath to start what was no doubt a long, long story.
Which was cut short into a single syllable as he was sent flying by a sudden impact, hurtling into the distant forest bordering the town.
"Holy shit!"
Joseph involuntarily rolled backwards as the resulting sonic boom forced him off his feet. Coughing, he brushed the snow off of his body as best he could and instantly started scanning the horizon. "Quit trying to get out of this!"
"Who's getting out?"
Joseph froze. That was not a voice he recognized.
"Not you. That's for sure."
He felt a sudden impact to his back, sending him stumbling a few inches and knocking him into the snow again.
"Alright, enough of the snowball fight!" As he jumped to his feet, Joseph called up Synchronicity's vines and flung out his arm, wrapping his tendrils around the drain pipe near Papyrus's roof. He hurled himself a floor higher, just barely dodging another strike out of nowhere from his vanishing assailant. "Who the hell are you?!"
The mysterious foe merely laughed.
Out of nowhere, a figure appeared on the ground below him. He was a pale human, faintly tinged by an orange aura. He raised his fists into a boxing stance, face curled into a mocking smirk and smarmy glare. The bandanna around his spectral head fluttered briefly in the wind.
"Is my name really important to you? All you need to know, Joseph Joestar, is that I'm gonna be the one who kills you. Here. And. Now."
<-To Be Continued
---
Stand Stat Sheet
Synchronicity
User: Joseph Joestar
Stats:
Power: C (Formerly B)
Speed: B
Precision: B
Durability: C (Formerly A)
Range: C
Learning: A
Abilities:
Synchronizing: By touching an object or entity with its thorns or hitting it with launched thorns, Synchronicity can force it to take on similar qualities and traits of another object it has also touched. This ranges from mass, density, weight, hardness, conductivity, heat, to many other things the user can imagine. However, this ability can't be used to directly harm people due to lack of precision-Joseph cannot cause someone's heart to stop beating by synching it to an inanimate object, for example-the heart would merely take on the consistency of it while still functioning. Synchronicity must also actually make contact with its thorns in order for the ability to function.
Vines: In addition to its main power, Joseph can also use Synchronicity's vines as whips or grappling hooks, allowing him to grab and swing from objects and buildings much like the [Hermit Purple] another version of him possessed.
Thriller
User: Papyrus
Stats:
Power: B
Speed: C
Precision: A
Durability: D
Range: C
Learning: C
Ability: Gravity Cancellation
If an entity or object falls within the Stand's range, Papyrus can use Thriller to cause the target to become unnaffected by gravity. This causes all the effects one would expect, namely weightlessness. If an entity is affected, it can only move itself through space via creating a force outside its body-throwing an object, concussive waves of magic, gunshots, ect. Otherwise, they drift helplessly through the air, flailing all the way for humorous effect.
Sans noticed that JoJo's empty hand was clenched into a fist, and his brow was furrowed in some deep emotion. Frustration, maybe?
Sans looked around. Left, then right. Then, one of the dots of light in his eyesockets faded to nothingness—the other eye glowing a piercing blue, he looked at the floor. "okay, we're clear. if he'd been here, i would have had to talk about echo flowers instead, so he wouldn't know he's onto us. seeing how your mood just backflipped, you know who i mean, don't you?"
"The first thing I met when I fell down here was a talking flower. Called himself [Flowey]. You know him too, don't you?"
"so we're cutting right to the chase, huh?" Sans waved Grillby over and ordered a glass of the hard stuff. He'd need a pick me up if he were going to talk about that thing for long. "yeah, i've seen it, a few times. lurking around the house, around where i used to work at new home, and even in waterfall—the next town over—now and again.
"for now, i'll skip over how he's a total jerk with no respect for anyone else and probably murdered someone recently. he's dangerous, buddy. he's got enough magic to blow a hole in a human being with one flick of a petal. and that would be bad enough. but it may have a [stand] as well. a really strong one."
"…Yeah, that's definitely him," Joseph agreed. "So, what're you trying to say? That he's a gigantic prick? That he's going to try and kill me? I knew that already. Believe me. I know. He tried, and he came closer than anyone else yet, under or above ground."
"i'm saying to be careful, kid." Sans got up from his seat and tossed a bag of gold onto the counter. "look, i like ya. you laugh at my jokes, and you saved my brother's life. so i won't beat around the bush: be careful. listen around you—i can feel a storm coming. watch out for the thunder, and be ready for that thing to pull something. keep that stand of yours strong."
"Wait a sec, that reminds me of something else I wanted to know," Joseph said, whirling around in his seat, this time managing to catch Sans before he mysteriously disappeared again. "How do you know so much about Stands, if they're as rare as you said down here? Do you have one of your own?"
"oh." Sans paused mid-step out the door, and turned around. "well, to tell you the truth, i—"
He was interrupted by a yelp of agony outside, and then a cracking sound, as if someone had smashed a window to a thousand pieces.
The entire bar fell silent. The bird sitting in the rafters ceased its song, the dogs playing poker in the corner instantly stopped their yipping and boastful bluffing, and even the drunken rabbit trying to flirt with the inanimate plant sitting in the corner of the room froze.
"Eh…someone break something?" Joseph said, shattering the silence. "It's a bar. Things break all the time in these. Speaking from experience."
Lesser Dog was the first to move from their place, bounding outside to check on what had disturbed this peaceful and normal enough night. And mere moments later, the group heard him howl in anguish.
Joseph was the last one out the door, deciding to follow only after everyone else had left the bar to avoid being trampled by the pack of dogs swarming out of the tavern.
He peeked above the shoulders of the Dogi couple. At first, all he could see was a pile of dust on the ground.
"That's it?" he asked. "It sucks if the vacuum or dustpan broke, but you could just get—"
And then he noticed the pile of empty clothes the dust had enveloped, and the still-smoking dog biscuit that had fallen to the floor.
Immediately the civilian bar patrons broke into a frenzy, screaming in terror and panic. Luckily, the fact that enforcers of the law were already present stopped a drunken and fearful riot from breaking out.
Quickly, around a dozen constructs of magical dogs sprung into reality in a circle around Doggo's remains, creating a makeshift police cordon. The Dogi began barking orders to secure the area and find the culprit--meanwhile, their boss began to bark to the people, advising the growing crowd to either return to their homes or stay in groups to avoid what looked and smelled like something dangerous.
"huh. One shot?"
JoJo glanced sideways, noticing Sans near the back of the crowd.
"hey, question. you seemed to have done your homework on monsters, right?"
"Yeah, there…there was a couple of books about monster biology and stuff in the library, when I stopped for lunch yesterday before Papyrus." Ripping his eyes away from the disturbingly corpse-less crime scene in front of him (which was somehow freakier than if an actual dead body were there), he turned around to look at the skeleton. "But it was like thirty pages long, so I used the Wi-Fi to see a video on it instead. Crappy production values, and the connection was slow, but it was good enough."
"okay, so you know that monsters use magic to talk and express emotions and all that jazz?" Sans tilted his head, then jerked his thumb at the crime scene. "and you know we use it to fight, too. you know monsters are way more resilient to magic than you. so if a monster tried to kill another monster, it'd take way longer than one hit."
"You're suggesting that a human killed him, then." Joseph blinked in confusion. "But I thought I was the only one down here?" he asked, lowering his voice to make sure none of the employees of the state would realize Public Enemy Number One was right in front of them. "That's why you guys wanted to capture me, right?"
"your SOUL, and the other six human SOULs, are what we need to break down the [barrier]." Sans's eyes faded, then reappeared, in an approximation of a long blink. "and the other SOULs should still be in new home under lock and key."
"Should be." Joseph groaned, then massaged his temples, trying to pre-emptively take care of an oncoming headache. "So, on top of half the monsters trying to kill me, now we've got a serial killer stirring upmore panic? That might be an escaped ghost or six?"
"sounds like it. but, hey. we beat them once, right? it's how they ended up locked up in the first place. so someone'll just beat them again. nothing to worry about."
"I…guess so." Knowing how many near-death experiences he'd had in the last few days alone, JoJo could attest to monsters being able to defend themselves against humans. At least, when they weren't victim to a sneak attack like that poor puppy or something. "Well, much as I hate to go, I do have to get going. Granny Lucy must be worried sick about me. Why don't we head back to your place, I'll grab my stuff, and I'll be on my way?"
"works for me. 'sides, if our culprit shows up again, papyrus can handle him. he could handle you after all."
"Really? I won that fight, you know!" JoJo complained as the two set off. "I just collapsed after saving his life! Sure, he was tough and all, but I won!"
As the two talked and walked away, neither noticed the entity on the rooftops with the pulsing orange aura surrounding its body. Not that they would have: it was gone for but a moment, before it vanished into thin air.
"So…you must be the 'strong and silent' type I've heard so much about!"
Papyrus's Stand said nothing. The zombie-like construct merely floated in place, standing parallel to its master as he turned upside down from his ill-thought out attempts to get down sent him upside-down.
"Don't worry! I, the Great Papyrus, can do enough talking for the both of us!" Papyrus stopped talking for a moment, scratching his chin. "Actually, you are me, aren't you? At least, that's what Sans implied. How like him to be too lazy to come up with a proper explanation on such an important topic!
"You'll need a name…How about 'Spaghetti Knight?'"
The Stand showed no response.
"…You're right, your powers have nothing to do with spaghetti. Sadly." Papyrus shrugged. "Alright, then why don't I call you [Thriller], because I'm thrilled to have this new power so few possess? At least, until I think of a better name than that placeholder."
The newly-christened Thriller nodded slightly, but did nothing else.
"Excellent! Now, onto the next order of business!" Experimentally, Papyrus conjured a bone and tossed it at the ceiling. His grin grew as he noticed that the momentum of the throw finally forced his body into a velocity moving vaguely downwards. "I see! So my…our control of gravity has become even greater now! Now I can will the fundamental force of nature to bend at my comma—"
At the thought of freely controlling this power, Papyrus subconsciously deactivated his Stand's ability. Unfortunately, he realized this a split-second after he had already cancelled the force holding him aloft. Which led to another painful drop onto the ruins of his bed.
"Ouch!" Grumbling to himself, Papyrus watched as Thriller faded into thin air, its purpose served for now. "Well, the first step was a doozy, but I'm getting the hang of it now! Wait…I have an excellent idea!
"With this new power I've earned, Undyne will surely let me into the Royal Guard now!" Strolling confidently to the door, Papyrus flung it open. "Everyone, I'm off to chase my dreams!"
Papyrus was answered by his brother flying past the door, and the entire town, at speeds faster than he had ever seen in his life. Followed by a blast of ear-breaking sound blowing him off of his feet and shattering every window and pane of glass on the block.
About a minute earlier, JoJo and Sans were walking back to the brothers' house, the former carefully ducking out of the sight of the guards now patrolling town to avoid yet another confrontation. He may love dogs, but he wasn't fond of being bitten by them all over his body. Even with less of him to bite now.
"have you named it yet?"
"Named what? My Stand?"
"yep. i mean, did you just plan on saying 'hey, stand!' whenever you want it to help out?"
"Guess you have a point." The human thought for a moment. "Are they usually named after something? Gods, heroes, baseball teams, anything?"
"it's your stand. you name it."
JoJo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, real helpful." He willed his Stand's vines to manifest around his arm. Then, he bent down briefly, grabbing a handful of snow in one hand, and bringing the other to his collar to touch the hem of his scarf.
Joseph thought for a moment, and experimentally willed his Stand to make a connection between the two, as he did with Papyrus and himself, or the soda can and wall before that. Maybe he could make the snow warmer?
His plan didn't seem to have the intended effect, as the scarf around his neck immediately grew freezing cold, taking on the same temperature of the cold wasteland of the town around them. Yelping in surprise, he quickly forced his Stand to undo the effect, and accordingly, his garment heated up again.
"It can force things to take on the same qualities as other stuff…" he mused aloud. "Alright…how about [Synchronicity]?"
"well, it's a name," Sans confirmed. "'course, quality is subjective, so that's not up for me to say if it's any good. heard better stand names. also heard worse."
"That reminds me." Joseph turned around to face his companion, only a few feet away from the house he had stayed the night prior. "You never did answer how you knew so much about Stands if they're so rare down here. Wanna clarify?"
Sans's jaw bone clacked open, as he took a deep breath to start what was no doubt a long, long story.
Which was cut short into a single syllable as he was sent flying by a sudden impact, hurtling into the distant forest bordering the town.
"Holy shit!"
Joseph involuntarily rolled backwards as the resulting sonic boom forced him off his feet. Coughing, he brushed the snow off of his body as best he could and instantly started scanning the horizon. "Quit trying to get out of this!"
"Who's getting out?"
Joseph froze. That was not a voice he recognized.
"Not you. That's for sure."
He felt a sudden impact to his back, sending him stumbling a few inches and knocking him into the snow again.
"Alright, enough of the snowball fight!" As he jumped to his feet, Joseph called up Synchronicity's vines and flung out his arm, wrapping his tendrils around the drain pipe near Papyrus's roof. He hurled himself a floor higher, just barely dodging another strike out of nowhere from his vanishing assailant. "Who the hell are you?!"
The mysterious foe merely laughed.
Out of nowhere, a figure appeared on the ground below him. He was a pale human, faintly tinged by an orange aura. He raised his fists into a boxing stance, face curled into a mocking smirk and smarmy glare. The bandanna around his spectral head fluttered briefly in the wind.
"Is my name really important to you? All you need to know, Joseph Joestar, is that I'm gonna be the one who kills you. Here. And. Now."
<-To Be Continued
---
Stand Stat Sheet
Synchronicity
User: Joseph Joestar
Stats:
Power: C (Formerly B)
Speed: B
Precision: B
Durability: C (Formerly A)
Range: C
Learning: A
Abilities:
Synchronizing: By touching an object or entity with its thorns or hitting it with launched thorns, Synchronicity can force it to take on similar qualities and traits of another object it has also touched. This ranges from mass, density, weight, hardness, conductivity, heat, to many other things the user can imagine. However, this ability can't be used to directly harm people due to lack of precision-Joseph cannot cause someone's heart to stop beating by synching it to an inanimate object, for example-the heart would merely take on the consistency of it while still functioning. Synchronicity must also actually make contact with its thorns in order for the ability to function.
Vines: In addition to its main power, Joseph can also use Synchronicity's vines as whips or grappling hooks, allowing him to grab and swing from objects and buildings much like the [Hermit Purple] another version of him possessed.
Thriller
User: Papyrus
Stats:
Power: B
Speed: C
Precision: A
Durability: D
Range: C
Learning: C
Ability: Gravity Cancellation
If an entity or object falls within the Stand's range, Papyrus can use Thriller to cause the target to become unnaffected by gravity. This causes all the effects one would expect, namely weightlessness. If an entity is affected, it can only move itself through space via creating a force outside its body-throwing an object, concussive waves of magic, gunshots, ect. Otherwise, they drift helplessly through the air, flailing all the way for humorous effect.
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
Ah, this again! Hello!
Chapter 3: Damnit Flowey, Gardening, and Jailbreaks
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
Many miles away, in the capital city of New Home…
Flowey stifled his giggles as he burrowed through the steel doors and into the coffins. He was a bit disappointed the guards didn't seem to be here this time, meaning there was no one to kill, but given how things were picking up, maybe some spare time was actually good for him this once.
"Ooookay, what do we have here?" Dozens of purple tendrils extended from his roots, tearing off the lids of six of the coffins (the seventh of which he already knew was empty, saving room for an occupant yet to enter its cold embrace). He lifted them off, and extended his face into a sadistic grin when he saw his targets were still there.
"Old geezer's as naïve as ever, isn't he? Didn't even post guards for these beauties." His vines tore through wood, plastic, and glass, eventually wrapping themselves around the very SOULs contained within. The abomination expanded his consciousness with a pulse of magic, and waited.
After a few minutes of doing Lord-Knows-What, Flowey relaxed his concentration on the spell. "Hee hee hee…Just as planned! All the little rats are on board this ship! Or snails, yes, that's the more accurate term here! Now all there's left to do—"
With a flick of a vine, the containers holding the SOULs were smashed into so many pieces of ruined glass and metal.
"--break 'em…out?"
Too late, Flowey had noticed that lengths of metallic chains, about as wide as a human's hair, had been attached from the rim of the containers to the edges of the coffins' roofs.
Had been, in the past tense, since they were now broken alongside the SOULs prisons.
Flowey heard a loud thud from directly behind him as the SOULs flew off.
"Well, well, well. Here a bit late, aren't we?" Smirking, he began to turn himself around. "They're escaping, old man. And there's nothing you can—"
Before he could finish that sentence, he was cut off when a blue-dyed leather shoe slammed down upon him at breakneck speeds.
"KU!" The figure's masklike face betrayed no emotion whatsoever, even as it slammed its foot down again and again. And again, and again, and again, each strike accompanied by a mighty "KUKUKUKUKUKUKU!"
It only stopped when there was nothing left beneath its expensive and well-tailored foot besides mulch and ruined petals.
"He was right," the lumbering giant muttered to itself. "We should have used stronger security. Though we've got what we need thanks to my power…this is still bad."
The figure began to fade into thin air, paws brushing against its pompadour as it rubbed its temples in distress. "Best go back to him and tell him our alarm was tripped, and they're out. I only hope we track them down…or better yet, grab the last one…before it all goes to heck."
Back up the staircase, a very not-dead Flowey emerged in a burst of yellow light, hissing and groaning in pain.
"Ghhh…if it weren't for JoJo hogging all of the determination, it would've all gone perfectly!
"Then again," the flower added, psychotic smirk returning after a few moments using its face to express acute pain and irritation instead, "It's the goal that matters, not the details." He began laughing as he burrowed back underground, heading westwards. "Isn't it?"
Had there not been literal tons of soil and rock in the way, the ground under the Underground would've echoed with evil and chilling laughter. But, since it was clogged with the earth, the ground remained muffled, and all but silent.
Chapter 3
In which Flowey Seduces the Undead, JoJo Plays Colleg Ball, and Asgore makes a Public Service Announcement on Heavy Weather.
---
Side note: "KU!" is the romanization of the Japanese numeral 9. This Stand cry is meant to simulate an automatic critical hit, repeated over and over with each strike.
Flowey stifled his giggles as he burrowed through the steel doors and into the coffins. He was a bit disappointed the guards didn't seem to be here this time, meaning there was no one to kill, but given how things were picking up, maybe some spare time was actually good for him this once.
"Ooookay, what do we have here?" Dozens of purple tendrils extended from his roots, tearing off the lids of six of the coffins (the seventh of which he already knew was empty, saving room for an occupant yet to enter its cold embrace). He lifted them off, and extended his face into a sadistic grin when he saw his targets were still there.
"Old geezer's as naïve as ever, isn't he? Didn't even post guards for these beauties." His vines tore through wood, plastic, and glass, eventually wrapping themselves around the very SOULs contained within. The abomination expanded his consciousness with a pulse of magic, and waited.
After a few minutes of doing Lord-Knows-What, Flowey relaxed his concentration on the spell. "Hee hee hee…Just as planned! All the little rats are on board this ship! Or snails, yes, that's the more accurate term here! Now all there's left to do—"
With a flick of a vine, the containers holding the SOULs were smashed into so many pieces of ruined glass and metal.
"--break 'em…out?"
Too late, Flowey had noticed that lengths of metallic chains, about as wide as a human's hair, had been attached from the rim of the containers to the edges of the coffins' roofs.
Had been, in the past tense, since they were now broken alongside the SOULs prisons.
Flowey heard a loud thud from directly behind him as the SOULs flew off.
"Well, well, well. Here a bit late, aren't we?" Smirking, he began to turn himself around. "They're escaping, old man. And there's nothing you can—"
Before he could finish that sentence, he was cut off when a blue-dyed leather shoe slammed down upon him at breakneck speeds.
"KU!" The figure's masklike face betrayed no emotion whatsoever, even as it slammed its foot down again and again. And again, and again, and again, each strike accompanied by a mighty "KUKUKUKUKUKUKU!"
It only stopped when there was nothing left beneath its expensive and well-tailored foot besides mulch and ruined petals.
"He was right," the lumbering giant muttered to itself. "We should have used stronger security. Though we've got what we need thanks to my power…this is still bad."
The figure began to fade into thin air, paws brushing against its pompadour as it rubbed its temples in distress. "Best go back to him and tell him our alarm was tripped, and they're out. I only hope we track them down…or better yet, grab the last one…before it all goes to heck."
Back up the staircase, a very not-dead Flowey emerged in a burst of yellow light, hissing and groaning in pain.
"Ghhh…if it weren't for JoJo hogging all of the determination, it would've all gone perfectly!
"Then again," the flower added, psychotic smirk returning after a few moments using its face to express acute pain and irritation instead, "It's the goal that matters, not the details." He began laughing as he burrowed back underground, heading westwards. "Isn't it?"
Had there not been literal tons of soil and rock in the way, the ground under the Underground would've echoed with evil and chilling laughter. But, since it was clogged with the earth, the ground remained muffled, and all but silent.
Chapter 3
In which Flowey Seduces the Undead, JoJo Plays Colleg Ball, and Asgore makes a Public Service Announcement on Heavy Weather.
---
Side note: "KU!" is the romanization of the Japanese numeral 9. This Stand cry is meant to simulate an automatic critical hit, repeated over and over with each strike.
Chapter 3: Tricks, Deductions, and Superpowered Dick Measuring Contests
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
"All you need to know, Joseph Joestar, is that I'm gonna be the one who kills you. Here. And. Now."
Joseph stared at his opponent. The staredown lasted for but a moment, but it felt as if it dragged on longer for him.
"Uh..no."
"…what?"
"I'm still alive." Joseph smirked, leaning down to tie his shoe. "So, clearly you didn't kill me 'then and now.' For some kind of ghost murderer, you're…kind of shit at it."
The spirit's eye twitched several times, an ethereal vein popping out of its forehead.
Before JoJo could even move, he heard a piercing roar, as if a jet engine had suddenly appeared next to him and screamed in his ear right before takeoff. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the figure had seemingly teleported right behind him.
"Hey, would it kill you to wait a sec before trying to kill me?" he asked nonchalantly. "I've gotta tie my shoe now—"
But he was too slow to act before a strong blow struck him in the small of his back, sending him hurtling off the roof towards the hard brick walls of the next building over.
Smirking, the ghost leaned off of the edge, leering at Joseph as he approached his imminent doom. "Too slow for you? That should be plenty fast enough for you to die."
But rather than smashing against the bricks and turning into a gooey paste of flesh and bones, the living human bounced off of the brick wall, sliding into a split-legged stop as his trajectory abruptly shifted to bring him back to the ground.
"And Joestar sticks the landing!" he cried triumphantly. "That's a home run for the Yankees! What?" he added as the ghost glared at him. "You thought you could take me down so easily? While I was moving to tie my shoe, I synchronized the consistency of my body to its rubber soles. I suspected that you killed that monster back there by blunt force, so I just made myself resilient enough to take a hit."
"Synchronizing." The ghost barked a laugh, as another figure faded into existence behind him. "Synchronzing? What kind of crappy power is that?!" You reallythink the power to make watches run on time can beat my [Razorface]?"
"So that's your Stand's name?" Joseph asked. "Not bad, not bad. Let me guess, its powers are—"
"Heh, as if I'd tell you what it can do," his enemy sneered. "Don't you know you can easily counter a Stand if you know what it can—"
"Super speed."
The figure froze.
"That's it, isn't it?" Joseph said. He pointed at the tracks left in the snow. The tracks of water, that is. "You can move so quickly the friction you generate melts snow in a split-second. You also caused those scorch marks on Papyrus's house," he said, his hand moving to point out the aforementioned damage to the building. "And you must've also caused that sonic boom that broke all the windows from your sudden start. Am I right…"
Sputtering for a moment, the ghost opened his mouth to reply.
"…Matthew?"
The ghost gasped and recoiled in shock, as if he'd been struck. "How did you—"
"Matthew Daves, isn't it?" Triumphantly, JoJo zipped open his knapsack and pulled out a raggedy bandanna, the exact same color and shape as the one the ghost wore. "Found this in one of those magic boxes earlier. Honestly, you're, what, fifteen,from your appearance? You still put your name on all your clothes?"
Bearing his teeth, Matthew snarled in anger. "You went through my stuff?!"
"Your fault for leaving it in a public space," Joseph retorted, shrugging.
"I have to agree with the other human, JoJo! That was very rude of you!"
Both humans stopped their volleys of insult to look down at the house's front door. At it, Papyrus stood, gazing up at the roof where Matthew stood.
"Hello," he said, waving. "I am the Great Papyrus! And if you wanted some spaghetti from the house, you could have just asked. It's right there in the—"
The skeleton was cut short when the dead human zoomed down the walls of the house and struck him right in the neck, with more than enough force to send his head flying clean off.
"Papyrus!" Joseph cried, his composure dropping for a moment.
"Another freak down the drain," Matthew taunted, spitting on Papyrus's welcome mat for good measure. "Well, time to finish taking out the trash."
"Oh, do feel free to do so!"
Matthew fell dead silent, and abruptly turned around to see a very not dead Papyrus standing just a few feet away.
"You can visit it at any time!" The monster tilted its head, rubbing at the sore spot on his neck. "Of course, it may be hard to do so when you're so busy fighting me."
"How…but…you should be dead! Agin! That hit should've killed you just like all the others!"
"Really?" Papyrus shrugged. "Oh. I suppose the gift my new friend over there gave me has helped me to triumph yet again! What a thoughtful present!"
Joseph pretended to shy away bashfully, mockingly putting a hand to his cheek and fluttering his eyelashes. "Oh, how flattering!"
"So, you've got a trick up your sleeve." Razorface appeared again, the steel sawblades covering every vein of its body revving to action. "Well, I've got a Stand, bitch! And this beauty can't be seen by non-Stand users! Good luck beating me now!"
Drawing back its arm, Razorface sprang forward almost faster than the eye could follow, ready to bring its arm down and slice this monster in half.
Or, at least, that was Matthew's plan, before something else stopped the strike with a mighty "NYEH!"
"Er, you seem to be mistaken on how those work," Papyrus corrected, as Thriller wrenched Razorface's arm down and punched him in the nose. "I didn't have any problem seeing JoJo's Stand before I got my own! And, for that matter, neither are they!"
The humans turned to see the townsfolk, cheering the new town hero on against this dangerous murderer. Some of them had their smartphones out, taking pictures of both manifested Stands despite Matthew's claims to invisibility.
"Fear not, citizens!" Papyrus cheered, bowing to the crowd a few times. "I will save you, and deliver this lawbreaker to Undyne for—"
Papyrus was cut off, as his hands went to his throat again. "For…hold on…lightheaded…"
"So what if I'm wrong or something?" the SOUL gloated, as Razorface's hands closed around Thriller's throat. "I can still kill all of you as easily as I can breathe! All I need to do is get a good run going and I can break through anything you shitheads can throw at me! And I think I'll do it with a bit of flight this time!"
Matthew crouched down low to the ground, and jumped.
He got all of two feet before gravity sent him crashing back down again.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I still have my magic!" Papyrus said, taking a few deep breaths to regain his footing.
"What? Did you think that just because I, the Great Papyrus, discovered a powerful new ability, I somehow lost all of my old ones?" Papyrus knelt to the ground, smiling broadly at the very pissed off. blue-tinted ghost. "I spent years working on my magic! I won't just let it go to waste now!"
"Hey, quick question," JoJo butted in, making Papyrus tear his attention away from the other human. "Aren't these things supposed to be locked up right now?"
"You mean the human SOULs? Like this one?" Papyrus asked.
He pointed down to the entity beneath him.
Or, rather, the entity that had been beneath him. Past tense.
"Oh. Oops!" Papyrus exclaimed, reflexively summoning a gigantic wall of bones in front of the townsfolk to protect them.
"The town hero, everyone!" said Joseph, irony positively dripping from his tone of voice.
Joseph stared at his opponent. The staredown lasted for but a moment, but it felt as if it dragged on longer for him.
"Uh..no."
"…what?"
"I'm still alive." Joseph smirked, leaning down to tie his shoe. "So, clearly you didn't kill me 'then and now.' For some kind of ghost murderer, you're…kind of shit at it."
The spirit's eye twitched several times, an ethereal vein popping out of its forehead.
Before JoJo could even move, he heard a piercing roar, as if a jet engine had suddenly appeared next to him and screamed in his ear right before takeoff. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the figure had seemingly teleported right behind him.
"Hey, would it kill you to wait a sec before trying to kill me?" he asked nonchalantly. "I've gotta tie my shoe now—"
But he was too slow to act before a strong blow struck him in the small of his back, sending him hurtling off the roof towards the hard brick walls of the next building over.
Smirking, the ghost leaned off of the edge, leering at Joseph as he approached his imminent doom. "Too slow for you? That should be plenty fast enough for you to die."
But rather than smashing against the bricks and turning into a gooey paste of flesh and bones, the living human bounced off of the brick wall, sliding into a split-legged stop as his trajectory abruptly shifted to bring him back to the ground.
"And Joestar sticks the landing!" he cried triumphantly. "That's a home run for the Yankees! What?" he added as the ghost glared at him. "You thought you could take me down so easily? While I was moving to tie my shoe, I synchronized the consistency of my body to its rubber soles. I suspected that you killed that monster back there by blunt force, so I just made myself resilient enough to take a hit."
"Synchronizing." The ghost barked a laugh, as another figure faded into existence behind him. "Synchronzing? What kind of crappy power is that?!" You reallythink the power to make watches run on time can beat my [Razorface]?"
"So that's your Stand's name?" Joseph asked. "Not bad, not bad. Let me guess, its powers are—"
"Heh, as if I'd tell you what it can do," his enemy sneered. "Don't you know you can easily counter a Stand if you know what it can—"
"Super speed."
The figure froze.
"That's it, isn't it?" Joseph said. He pointed at the tracks left in the snow. The tracks of water, that is. "You can move so quickly the friction you generate melts snow in a split-second. You also caused those scorch marks on Papyrus's house," he said, his hand moving to point out the aforementioned damage to the building. "And you must've also caused that sonic boom that broke all the windows from your sudden start. Am I right…"
Sputtering for a moment, the ghost opened his mouth to reply.
"…Matthew?"
The ghost gasped and recoiled in shock, as if he'd been struck. "How did you—"
"Matthew Daves, isn't it?" Triumphantly, JoJo zipped open his knapsack and pulled out a raggedy bandanna, the exact same color and shape as the one the ghost wore. "Found this in one of those magic boxes earlier. Honestly, you're, what, fifteen,from your appearance? You still put your name on all your clothes?"
Bearing his teeth, Matthew snarled in anger. "You went through my stuff?!"
"Your fault for leaving it in a public space," Joseph retorted, shrugging.
"I have to agree with the other human, JoJo! That was very rude of you!"
Both humans stopped their volleys of insult to look down at the house's front door. At it, Papyrus stood, gazing up at the roof where Matthew stood.
"Hello," he said, waving. "I am the Great Papyrus! And if you wanted some spaghetti from the house, you could have just asked. It's right there in the—"
The skeleton was cut short when the dead human zoomed down the walls of the house and struck him right in the neck, with more than enough force to send his head flying clean off.
"Papyrus!" Joseph cried, his composure dropping for a moment.
"Another freak down the drain," Matthew taunted, spitting on Papyrus's welcome mat for good measure. "Well, time to finish taking out the trash."
"Oh, do feel free to do so!"
Matthew fell dead silent, and abruptly turned around to see a very not dead Papyrus standing just a few feet away.
"You can visit it at any time!" The monster tilted its head, rubbing at the sore spot on his neck. "Of course, it may be hard to do so when you're so busy fighting me."
"How…but…you should be dead! Agin! That hit should've killed you just like all the others!"
"Really?" Papyrus shrugged. "Oh. I suppose the gift my new friend over there gave me has helped me to triumph yet again! What a thoughtful present!"
Joseph pretended to shy away bashfully, mockingly putting a hand to his cheek and fluttering his eyelashes. "Oh, how flattering!"
"So, you've got a trick up your sleeve." Razorface appeared again, the steel sawblades covering every vein of its body revving to action. "Well, I've got a Stand, bitch! And this beauty can't be seen by non-Stand users! Good luck beating me now!"
Drawing back its arm, Razorface sprang forward almost faster than the eye could follow, ready to bring its arm down and slice this monster in half.
Or, at least, that was Matthew's plan, before something else stopped the strike with a mighty "NYEH!"
"Er, you seem to be mistaken on how those work," Papyrus corrected, as Thriller wrenched Razorface's arm down and punched him in the nose. "I didn't have any problem seeing JoJo's Stand before I got my own! And, for that matter, neither are they!"
The humans turned to see the townsfolk, cheering the new town hero on against this dangerous murderer. Some of them had their smartphones out, taking pictures of both manifested Stands despite Matthew's claims to invisibility.
"Fear not, citizens!" Papyrus cheered, bowing to the crowd a few times. "I will save you, and deliver this lawbreaker to Undyne for—"
Papyrus was cut off, as his hands went to his throat again. "For…hold on…lightheaded…"
"So what if I'm wrong or something?" the SOUL gloated, as Razorface's hands closed around Thriller's throat. "I can still kill all of you as easily as I can breathe! All I need to do is get a good run going and I can break through anything you shitheads can throw at me! And I think I'll do it with a bit of flight this time!"
Matthew crouched down low to the ground, and jumped.
He got all of two feet before gravity sent him crashing back down again.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I still have my magic!" Papyrus said, taking a few deep breaths to regain his footing.
"What? Did you think that just because I, the Great Papyrus, discovered a powerful new ability, I somehow lost all of my old ones?" Papyrus knelt to the ground, smiling broadly at the very pissed off. blue-tinted ghost. "I spent years working on my magic! I won't just let it go to waste now!"
"Hey, quick question," JoJo butted in, making Papyrus tear his attention away from the other human. "Aren't these things supposed to be locked up right now?"
"You mean the human SOULs? Like this one?" Papyrus asked.
He pointed down to the entity beneath him.
Or, rather, the entity that had been beneath him. Past tense.
"Oh. Oops!" Papyrus exclaimed, reflexively summoning a gigantic wall of bones in front of the townsfolk to protect them.
"The town hero, everyone!" said Joseph, irony positively dripping from his tone of voice.
Last edited:
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
Ah. Okay, that makes sense.
Stand Stats: Razorface
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
And while I'm writing the other half of this chapter, time for the commercial break!
Razorface
User: Matthew Daves (aka Bravery)
Stats:
Power: B
Speed: S
Precision: D
Durability: C
Range: E
Learning: C
Abilities:
Phasing: By moving beyond a walking pace (or whenever its user runs), Razorface and its user gain immunity to any attack by virtue of their molecules moving so rapidly they pass through any strike. The user can also choose what to pass through or what to use as a solid surface, letting it run up walls and ceilings without just breaking through them.
Super Speed: As evidenced by its unique S ranking in Speed, Razorface is the fastest known Stand short of any Stand possessing time manipulating abilities, surpassing even Silver Chariot and Tower of Grey. The only other known Stands possessing S rankings are -CLANG-
Razorface
User: Matthew Daves (aka Bravery)
Stats:
Power: B
Speed: S
Precision: D
Durability: C
Range: E
Learning: C
Abilities:
Phasing: By moving beyond a walking pace (or whenever its user runs), Razorface and its user gain immunity to any attack by virtue of their molecules moving so rapidly they pass through any strike. The user can also choose what to pass through or what to use as a solid surface, letting it run up walls and ceilings without just breaking through them.
Super Speed: As evidenced by its unique S ranking in Speed, Razorface is the fastest known Stand short of any Stand possessing time manipulating abilities, surpassing even Silver Chariot and Tower of Grey. The only other known Stands possessing S rankings are -CLANG-
Chapter 3: Planning, Banter, and ARORORORORORA!
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
Another roar followed JoJo's words.
"Drat! He got away!" Papyrus cursed. "At least I erected a barrier in time to make it safe for everyone to watch the fight!"
"You really think he'll just stay put to fight us?" Sighing, Joseph pointed at the tracks in the snow, the footprints blending together into a solid line of slush leading away from the fully-protected town now. "He's probably making a run-up now to build momentum. Which means…"
Joseph manifested Synchronicity in his arm and wrapped his vines around the chimney of the barn, grabbing Papyrus by the wrist.
He was just barely quick enough to yank both of them into the air before a blur of orange and chrome blazed past where they had once been, obliterating the snow underfoot.
"…We'll have to trap him somewhere to limit his speed," he finished, as the two landed on the rooftop. "Much as I'd like to get outta town, if he could find me before, and he's so dead-set on killing me…There may not be too many places to hide. He can cover the entire town in the time it takes to breathe, there isn't any getting out of this. Will those bone fences be able to stop him if he's going so fast?"
A screech of pain was all the answer they needed.
"No matter how fast you go, you can't move through light blue magic!" Papyrus announced triumphantly. "
Still smoking, Matthew coughed, glaring at the circle of bones protecting the townspeople. "Tch…So you stopped my momentum. And I can't just off those furry bastards over there."
"Not all of us have fur!" "(You racist!)"
"Quiet in the peanut gallery!" the SOUL yelled at the Dogi and their fellow guards. "You'll all get your turn to die once I finish my job here!"
"Job?" JoJo asked.
"Nothing you need to worry about," Matthew said.
From behind JoJo.
The living human's eyes widened in shock, and his hand reached out to the chimney and its strong, sturdy bricks.
But he was too late. Razorface spun the blades lining the veins on the back of its hand and smacked Joseph off of the roof.
Grunting in pain, Joseph hit the ground hard, slamming painfully into the melted slush and exposed soil below the tavern.
"Guess your synchronizing isn't as long-lasting as you'd liked?" Matthew taunted, moving from the bar's roof to standing over Joseph in the blink of an eye. "So much for being a threat, pipsqueak."
"Heh."
Matthew's sneer vanished. "What?"
Spitting blood out of his mouth, Joseph climbed to his feet, despite the snow stinging the wounds Matthew had inflicted on his forehead.
"You really do think you're some kind of bigshot, do you?" Joseph said, grinning. "I'm so impressed how you killed a monster who didn't even see you coming."
The ghost's eye twitched.
"What's your next big trick after you kill me?" his opponent said mockingly, rising back into a fighting stance. "Are you going to kill some little old lady as she walks down the street? Maybe steal some candy from a baby?"
"Don't you dare mock me!" Matthew screamed, his vision clouding with crimson as rage made him start vibrating in place. "Do you have any idea what these freaks of nature did to me?! I have every right to kill--!"
Whatever he was about to say next was cut off by a piercing "ARO!" and a fist to the face.
"There's my first trick," Joseph said. "Here are the rest!"
"ARORORORORORORORORA!"
A fraction of a second after emerging from Joseph's body, Synchronicity's fists erupted into a flurry of punches, each one of them striking true and slamming into Matthew with bone-shattering force.
He howled in pain as he was sent flying from the blows, passing through the row of buildings in his way and past the outskirts of town.
"Here's some advice for you," Joseph said, brushing the rest of the snow off of his body as Synchronicity faded back into him. "Super speed's only useful if you're using it. Dead or alive, your brain can only work so fast to keep up. Especially if your ego gets in the way."
An inhuman cacophony of rage, followed by another jet engine takeoff, was the spirit's response to his humiliation.
"Crap, he won't be pulling punches anymore," JoJo muttered to himself. "That hit he landed on me earlier was a glancing blow. If he goes all out…"
Joseph knew he only had a few seconds before Razorface hit its top speed and returned to town. If there was ever a time for a brilliant plan, it was now.
"Papyrus!" he shouted. "Remind me how your Stand works again?"
"Drat! He got away!" Papyrus cursed. "At least I erected a barrier in time to make it safe for everyone to watch the fight!"
"You really think he'll just stay put to fight us?" Sighing, Joseph pointed at the tracks in the snow, the footprints blending together into a solid line of slush leading away from the fully-protected town now. "He's probably making a run-up now to build momentum. Which means…"
Joseph manifested Synchronicity in his arm and wrapped his vines around the chimney of the barn, grabbing Papyrus by the wrist.
He was just barely quick enough to yank both of them into the air before a blur of orange and chrome blazed past where they had once been, obliterating the snow underfoot.
"…We'll have to trap him somewhere to limit his speed," he finished, as the two landed on the rooftop. "Much as I'd like to get outta town, if he could find me before, and he's so dead-set on killing me…There may not be too many places to hide. He can cover the entire town in the time it takes to breathe, there isn't any getting out of this. Will those bone fences be able to stop him if he's going so fast?"
A screech of pain was all the answer they needed.
"No matter how fast you go, you can't move through light blue magic!" Papyrus announced triumphantly. "
Still smoking, Matthew coughed, glaring at the circle of bones protecting the townspeople. "Tch…So you stopped my momentum. And I can't just off those furry bastards over there."
"Not all of us have fur!" "(You racist!)"
"Quiet in the peanut gallery!" the SOUL yelled at the Dogi and their fellow guards. "You'll all get your turn to die once I finish my job here!"
"Job?" JoJo asked.
"Nothing you need to worry about," Matthew said.
From behind JoJo.
The living human's eyes widened in shock, and his hand reached out to the chimney and its strong, sturdy bricks.
But he was too late. Razorface spun the blades lining the veins on the back of its hand and smacked Joseph off of the roof.
Grunting in pain, Joseph hit the ground hard, slamming painfully into the melted slush and exposed soil below the tavern.
"Guess your synchronizing isn't as long-lasting as you'd liked?" Matthew taunted, moving from the bar's roof to standing over Joseph in the blink of an eye. "So much for being a threat, pipsqueak."
"Heh."
Matthew's sneer vanished. "What?"
Spitting blood out of his mouth, Joseph climbed to his feet, despite the snow stinging the wounds Matthew had inflicted on his forehead.
"You really do think you're some kind of bigshot, do you?" Joseph said, grinning. "I'm so impressed how you killed a monster who didn't even see you coming."
The ghost's eye twitched.
"What's your next big trick after you kill me?" his opponent said mockingly, rising back into a fighting stance. "Are you going to kill some little old lady as she walks down the street? Maybe steal some candy from a baby?"
"Don't you dare mock me!" Matthew screamed, his vision clouding with crimson as rage made him start vibrating in place. "Do you have any idea what these freaks of nature did to me?! I have every right to kill--!"
Whatever he was about to say next was cut off by a piercing "ARO!" and a fist to the face.
"There's my first trick," Joseph said. "Here are the rest!"
"ARORORORORORORORORA!"
A fraction of a second after emerging from Joseph's body, Synchronicity's fists erupted into a flurry of punches, each one of them striking true and slamming into Matthew with bone-shattering force.
He howled in pain as he was sent flying from the blows, passing through the row of buildings in his way and past the outskirts of town.
"Here's some advice for you," Joseph said, brushing the rest of the snow off of his body as Synchronicity faded back into him. "Super speed's only useful if you're using it. Dead or alive, your brain can only work so fast to keep up. Especially if your ego gets in the way."
An inhuman cacophony of rage, followed by another jet engine takeoff, was the spirit's response to his humiliation.
"Crap, he won't be pulling punches anymore," JoJo muttered to himself. "That hit he landed on me earlier was a glancing blow. If he goes all out…"
Joseph knew he only had a few seconds before Razorface hit its top speed and returned to town. If there was ever a time for a brilliant plan, it was now.
"Papyrus!" he shouted. "Remind me how your Stand works again?"
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
And the battle continues.
Also, there's something odd. Joseph's granny seems different here.
Also, there's something odd. Joseph's granny seems different here.
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
I suppose you're forwarding this off the discussion in the SB thread, aren't you?
Yes, Joseph called his grandma Lucy, not Erina. Those of you who follow JoJo closely will pick up on the significance here, but it's not vastly important to the story as a whole.
@Gamerex27 is this set after the pillarmen or before.
- Location
- Ohio
Just finished reading chapter 1. I'm fine with Joseph having a different Stand power, but I'm not fine with Joseph having a punch ghost now. Being a collection of vines attached to the body made Joseph Joestar unique. I would be fine with Hermit Purple gaining a strength upgrade (Rank C or B) as that would allow it to pick up larger objects and throw them with ease depending on the rank of strength or to slash up objects and people like a multi-string whip, also known as a cat o' nine tails (yes that's how it's spelled.
The reverse ORA is a nice touch.
The reverse ORA is a nice touch.
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
You're assuming this takes place in the same universe as canon JoJo part 2. Given the setting shift of modern day and the changes to Joseph's family tree, this isn't the case. So the Pillar Men may not even exist here. Of course, we can't rule it out entirely yet, so for the sake of argument, before.
Joseph's new Stand isn't quite a "punch ghost" a la Star Platinum. Its stat sheet at the end of chapter 2 lists its strength at C, which hovers just above the average human's strength--its other stats aren't anything special either. It all comes down to its unique ability, which he has used far more often so far than the stock "ORAORAORA" Joestar stands come with. This is more explored in the other chapters up thus far-only one attack rush compared to multiple ability usages.
Chapter 3: Snow Days, Predictions, and RETIREment
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
And now, for the conclusion to this brawl.
By the way, for those of you wondering, Bravery/Orange SOUL's real name and Stand are references to, respectively, the Dave Matthews Band and Razorface by Sir Elton John.
---
"GRAAAAAAARGH!"
In spite of the cold chilling his bones, JoJo could feel sweat start to drip down the back of his neck, alongside the drops of blood from his head wounds.
"You know, all the screaming makes it sound like you're warming up to sing." He taunted, holding his hand out. Holding his other hand to his forehead to stem the blood flow, Joseph whipped his outstretched hand around, as if he were about to conduct an orchestra surrounding him.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCK WITH ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH?!" Already in the distance, Joseph could see a pinprick of orange and silver at the outskirts of town.
"No, no, you start with do when you warm up, not mi!" JoJo flapped his fingers up and down, miming the roar of Razorface's speed to a crescendo. "Then you move to…uh…what's between do and mi?"
One of the dogs behind Papyrus's barrier barked an answer.
"Come on, I can't speak dog!...Re, that's it!" Joseph's hand moved up and up, moving along the tempo of Razorface's roar. "Didn't pay attention in music class, but I remember that much! Start again! Do, re, then mi! You'll never get on a talent show at this rate!"
In the back of his mind, he realized he was stalling too much. Razorface and its user were already mere meters from him, ready to strike! But it was way too much fun getting a rise out of this prick to quit now! He should ask if any of the monster watching were recording this: he could make a fortune off of the viral video it would no doubt make!
"Now smile for the cameras!" he taunted one more time. "Everyone'll wanna see you wipe out!"
"TOO SLOW, SHITFACE! NOW YOU DIE!"
With that, Matthew's mad, ear-to-ear sneer split open his entire face. He drew back his arm, the Stand surrounding him mirroring his action, and swung.
Joseph never stood a chance. He was decapitated in one strike.
"Heh. So much for you, Joestar." Daves abruptly stopped, sending a huge shower of snow from the ground to splatter all over the nearby houses and buildings. "Now it's just the skeleton, and that'll—"
"And right now, you'll say—"
"About as easy as stuffing some nerdlinger in his locker!" both humans said simultaneously.
Right as he turned around to admire his handiwork, the SOUL heard JoJo's triumphant and very not-dead one-liner, and his jaw dropped to the collar of his polo shirt. Without the blurred vision that comes with going hundreds of miles an hour, he could clearly see that what he had attacked was a snowman wearing Joseph's clothes! It wasn't blood running down his Stand's arm, but melted snow from the decoy's severed head!
"Wha---you tricked me!"
"How kind of you to notice!" said Joseph, lunging out of a nearby alley and tackling Razorface to the ground. He gritted his teeth, Synchronicity's outline surrounding his form only doing so much to stop the multitude of cuts to his mostly-exposed skin the enemy Stand inflicted.
"Well, that just bought you a few seconds, pretty boy! 'Cuz guess what?!" Matthew said, laughing madly as he wrenched himself free of JoJo's grip and slashed him across the chest.
"And next," Joseph retorted, even as the blow of the strike propelled him stories above the ground, "is 'you were doomed right from the start, Joestar!' Papyrus, now!"
"You were doomed right from the start, Joestar!"
The moment the words left his insubstantial lips, the ghost's eyes widened in shock, utterly baffled as to how his foe seemed to know everything he'd do next.
And that moment of shock was all JoJo and Papyrus needed. As JoJo rose into the air, the vine he had wrapped tightly around Razorface's waist dragged it and Matthew upwards too, his non-existent mass making it easy to move the ghost.
At that exact second, Thriller appeared from behind Griilby's chimney. It snapped its fingers to cancel all force that Earth's gravity exerted on Joseph, right as he grabbed it to stop his momentum.
And, with a triumphant "ARO!" from Synchronicity, Matthew as well.
"What—"" Matthew could only stare in disbelief as he came to a sudden halt in midair. "WHAT?! FUCKING WHAT?!"
"Still think synchronizing stuff's a shitty power?" Joseph asked. He let go of the chimney as he spoke, floating in Thriller's zero-gravity field with his arms folded in triumph. "You need to move in order to use your Stand's power or ability. But I've synchronized your gravitational pull from Earth to mine! And, since you're too far away to touch or repel off anything, you're helpless! You can't move! Not an inch!"
"Oh…oh yeah?!" the SOUL said, failing to hide its rapidly fading confidence. "Then…I'll just fly! Ghosts can do that!"
"Not now, you can't!" Papyrus said, crashing through Grillby's window and landing on his feet. "My Blue Attack is still in effect! So, no movement and no flight!
"Sorry, human, but you've been thoroughly japed by the Great Papyrus!" the skeleton cried in glee, stretching out his arms in celebration and to begin his victory dance.
A loud cough stopped him in his tracks.
"Oh…and JoJo, too!" He hastily added, as Joseph grabbed a drain pipe with his vines to pull himself down.
Were the ghost still alive, he would be sweating profusely and hyperventilating as Joseph dragged himself down to Papyrus's level, both of his foes looking right at him. "H…hey, I was just joking, okay? I wasn't going to kill you! I was just having fun!"
"Riiiight, and I'm sure being murdered was fun for that dog you ganked outside the bar!" Joseph retorted dryly.
"I…I…you can't kill me!" Matthew gasped, seizing onto one last thread of a possible escape route from this situation. "I'm already dead, see?"
"We knew that already," Joseph said, grinning viciously as Synchronicity sprung into reality behind him. "And that just means we don't need to hold back!"
He paused, noticing how Papyrus was just taking pictures of the trapped human soul with his phone, as their target flailed uselessly in the air to get away. "Hey, bonehead! We'll need to beat him up now!"
"Oh, right!" Fairly exhausted from his heavy magic usage throughout the battle, Papyrus instead elected to have Thriller finish this for him. "Then let's do it!"
Screaming in absolute terror, Matthew flipped himself around to try and build up some form of speed, only to be met with a fist to the face.
Followed by another, and another, and another, and even more after that.
"NYEHENYEHENYEHENYEHE!"
"ARORORORORORORORORA!"
As Matthew's form became increasingly warped and broken from the strikes, Synchronicity and Thriller drew back for a final blow.
"NYEH HE!"
"AROOOOORAAAAA!"
With that, Matthew Daves was sent flying high into the air! As he rocketed further and further into the distance (helpfully, right towards Undyne's house), his howls of pain faded, until nothing but silence remained.
Which was quickly broken as the entire town of Snowdin erupted into unified applause, giving a standing ovation to the heroic duo that had saved the town.
---
Matthew Daves/Orange SOUL (Razorface): Out of function/RETIRE
By the way, for those of you wondering, Bravery/Orange SOUL's real name and Stand are references to, respectively, the Dave Matthews Band and Razorface by Sir Elton John.
---
"GRAAAAAAARGH!"
In spite of the cold chilling his bones, JoJo could feel sweat start to drip down the back of his neck, alongside the drops of blood from his head wounds.
"You know, all the screaming makes it sound like you're warming up to sing." He taunted, holding his hand out. Holding his other hand to his forehead to stem the blood flow, Joseph whipped his outstretched hand around, as if he were about to conduct an orchestra surrounding him.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCK WITH ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH?!" Already in the distance, Joseph could see a pinprick of orange and silver at the outskirts of town.
"No, no, you start with do when you warm up, not mi!" JoJo flapped his fingers up and down, miming the roar of Razorface's speed to a crescendo. "Then you move to…uh…what's between do and mi?"
One of the dogs behind Papyrus's barrier barked an answer.
"Come on, I can't speak dog!...Re, that's it!" Joseph's hand moved up and up, moving along the tempo of Razorface's roar. "Didn't pay attention in music class, but I remember that much! Start again! Do, re, then mi! You'll never get on a talent show at this rate!"
In the back of his mind, he realized he was stalling too much. Razorface and its user were already mere meters from him, ready to strike! But it was way too much fun getting a rise out of this prick to quit now! He should ask if any of the monster watching were recording this: he could make a fortune off of the viral video it would no doubt make!
"Now smile for the cameras!" he taunted one more time. "Everyone'll wanna see you wipe out!"
"TOO SLOW, SHITFACE! NOW YOU DIE!"
With that, Matthew's mad, ear-to-ear sneer split open his entire face. He drew back his arm, the Stand surrounding him mirroring his action, and swung.
Joseph never stood a chance. He was decapitated in one strike.
"Heh. So much for you, Joestar." Daves abruptly stopped, sending a huge shower of snow from the ground to splatter all over the nearby houses and buildings. "Now it's just the skeleton, and that'll—"
"And right now, you'll say—"
"About as easy as stuffing some nerdlinger in his locker!" both humans said simultaneously.
Right as he turned around to admire his handiwork, the SOUL heard JoJo's triumphant and very not-dead one-liner, and his jaw dropped to the collar of his polo shirt. Without the blurred vision that comes with going hundreds of miles an hour, he could clearly see that what he had attacked was a snowman wearing Joseph's clothes! It wasn't blood running down his Stand's arm, but melted snow from the decoy's severed head!
"Wha---you tricked me!"
"How kind of you to notice!" said Joseph, lunging out of a nearby alley and tackling Razorface to the ground. He gritted his teeth, Synchronicity's outline surrounding his form only doing so much to stop the multitude of cuts to his mostly-exposed skin the enemy Stand inflicted.
"Well, that just bought you a few seconds, pretty boy! 'Cuz guess what?!" Matthew said, laughing madly as he wrenched himself free of JoJo's grip and slashed him across the chest.
"And next," Joseph retorted, even as the blow of the strike propelled him stories above the ground, "is 'you were doomed right from the start, Joestar!' Papyrus, now!"
"You were doomed right from the start, Joestar!"
The moment the words left his insubstantial lips, the ghost's eyes widened in shock, utterly baffled as to how his foe seemed to know everything he'd do next.
And that moment of shock was all JoJo and Papyrus needed. As JoJo rose into the air, the vine he had wrapped tightly around Razorface's waist dragged it and Matthew upwards too, his non-existent mass making it easy to move the ghost.
At that exact second, Thriller appeared from behind Griilby's chimney. It snapped its fingers to cancel all force that Earth's gravity exerted on Joseph, right as he grabbed it to stop his momentum.
And, with a triumphant "ARO!" from Synchronicity, Matthew as well.
"What—"" Matthew could only stare in disbelief as he came to a sudden halt in midair. "WHAT?! FUCKING WHAT?!"
"Still think synchronizing stuff's a shitty power?" Joseph asked. He let go of the chimney as he spoke, floating in Thriller's zero-gravity field with his arms folded in triumph. "You need to move in order to use your Stand's power or ability. But I've synchronized your gravitational pull from Earth to mine! And, since you're too far away to touch or repel off anything, you're helpless! You can't move! Not an inch!"
"Oh…oh yeah?!" the SOUL said, failing to hide its rapidly fading confidence. "Then…I'll just fly! Ghosts can do that!"
"Not now, you can't!" Papyrus said, crashing through Grillby's window and landing on his feet. "My Blue Attack is still in effect! So, no movement and no flight!
"Sorry, human, but you've been thoroughly japed by the Great Papyrus!" the skeleton cried in glee, stretching out his arms in celebration and to begin his victory dance.
A loud cough stopped him in his tracks.
"Oh…and JoJo, too!" He hastily added, as Joseph grabbed a drain pipe with his vines to pull himself down.
Were the ghost still alive, he would be sweating profusely and hyperventilating as Joseph dragged himself down to Papyrus's level, both of his foes looking right at him. "H…hey, I was just joking, okay? I wasn't going to kill you! I was just having fun!"
"Riiiight, and I'm sure being murdered was fun for that dog you ganked outside the bar!" Joseph retorted dryly.
"I…I…you can't kill me!" Matthew gasped, seizing onto one last thread of a possible escape route from this situation. "I'm already dead, see?"
"We knew that already," Joseph said, grinning viciously as Synchronicity sprung into reality behind him. "And that just means we don't need to hold back!"
He paused, noticing how Papyrus was just taking pictures of the trapped human soul with his phone, as their target flailed uselessly in the air to get away. "Hey, bonehead! We'll need to beat him up now!"
"Oh, right!" Fairly exhausted from his heavy magic usage throughout the battle, Papyrus instead elected to have Thriller finish this for him. "Then let's do it!"
Screaming in absolute terror, Matthew flipped himself around to try and build up some form of speed, only to be met with a fist to the face.
Followed by another, and another, and another, and even more after that.
"NYEHENYEHENYEHENYEHE!"
"ARORORORORORORORORA!"
As Matthew's form became increasingly warped and broken from the strikes, Synchronicity and Thriller drew back for a final blow.
"NYEH HE!"
"AROOOOORAAAAA!"
With that, Matthew Daves was sent flying high into the air! As he rocketed further and further into the distance (helpfully, right towards Undyne's house), his howls of pain faded, until nothing but silence remained.
Which was quickly broken as the entire town of Snowdin erupted into unified applause, giving a standing ovation to the heroic duo that had saved the town.
---
Matthew Daves/Orange SOUL (Razorface): Out of function/RETIRE
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
Beautiful.
Fucking Beautiful.
A more satisfying finisher I have never seen.
Fucking Beautiful.
A more satisfying finisher I have never seen.
Chapter 3: Celebrations, Royal Broadcasts of Royal Plottwists, and the Spear of Justice (not THAT Justice)
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
"Thank you! Thank you!" Joseph said, bowing theatrically before the grateful crowd. "I'll be here all week—actually, no, I'll be gone tomorrow, but we were awesome!"
Beaming at the crowd, JoJo turned around to see Papyrus, only to notice the monster standing still, eyes wide and jaws agape. "Okay, that was awesome and all, but don't get so blown away by what we did."
"Oh? Er, no!" Papyrus stuttered, whipping around from his trance-like gaze on the crowd to face JoJo. "I simply…I always thought I'd get the standing ovations and love from capturing a human. Not from defeating one that had already been vanquished!"
"You take what you can get," JoJo said, shrugging. "Just have to make the best out of the cards you're dealt, until you can grab a better one." His expression soured for a moment. "Doesn't matter!" he continued, his cheer returning. "We just kicked the crap out of some cocky murderer and saved these guys! Who's up for a party!"
While some of the townsfolk returned JoJo's cheers, not all of them did. Some looked uneasily to one another, and not all of the guards had shaken themselves back to a professional mindset.
"Oh, right. He did kill someone." JoJo sighed, scratching at the back of his head, than wincing at some of his wounds he didn't notice in the rush of battle. "Yeah, that's a mood-kille—okay, I'm just leaving before I dig myself deeper."
He waved goodbye to the crowd, and made it all of two steps before the adrenaline from the fight wore off, and he slumped against the wall of Grillby's bar in pain.
"Heh…damn. I got more worn out than I thought," he muttered to himself, glancing over at Papyrus, who had now joined in the diminished festivities going on in spite of several monsters' clear discomfort. "I should really be more careful if—no, when—I get jumped again."
"hey, what did I miss?'
Before he could hobble over to the smashed snowman to grab his clothes, Joseph looked over to see Sans casually stroll over from the forest, covered in snow but otherwise no more worse for wear.
"Hey! Good to see you're alright," said JoJo, as he tried fruitlessly to brush the snow off of his scarf and squeeze it dry. "So, hang on…you survived a hit right from that bastard even when it killed that dog. And you know a lot about Stands already…"
"looks like you've found me out," Sans admitted, raising his hands in a gesture of mock defeat. "yeah, i've got a stand. had a stand. it's complicated. i'll explain it to you at our place. you look like you can use a break."
"Huh?" Joseph looked down at himself, seeing that he was bleeding a lot more than he expected. Probably the cold numbing some of the pain. "Oh, right. Sure."
"—used to work Asgore?" Joseph asked. "The King? The one who said to kill all humans?"
"yep. i helped out with some research on stuff, and we found out stands exist. 'cept only his and her majesty, me, and one or two other test subjects managed to get them safely." Sans reclined back on his couch, catching Joseph's look of suspicion. "what's wrong?"
"…I don't know much about him, but he sounds like a real piece of work. I mean, he ordered genocide, right?"
"the king? fluffybuns?" Here, Sans laughed out loud. "only because we need the SOULs to get out. he's a great guy, actually: wouldn't hurt a fly unless that fly was the key to saving his people. and it's not like it's a big deal—humans almost never end up here, so why worry about that order?"
"He's a big pushover! You don't need to worry about him!"
Both occupants looked to see Papyrus walk in the front door, wearing a wreath of flowers around his neck and beaming even wider than usual. "We were talking about the King, right? I'm sure he'll just let you go if you ask him—"
The soft static noises of the aged TV in the room suddenly cut to a cheery jingle, as the channel abruptly switched over to a visible picture.
"speaking of which, isn't it time for the month's royal address?" Sans asked. "here, you can see him now."
"Sans, why didn't you tell me?!" Papyrus demanded as the screen cut to a colorful podium placed in the midst of a serene garden of golden flowers. "I could've made popped spaghetti to enjoy the show!"
Before JoJo could question how a dish like that could even exist, much less be any good, the King stepped up to speak. JoJo's eyes widened. The big, white-furred figure, the horns, the face…he looked just like Toriel!
He raised his hand to his throat, clearing his voice. "Ahem…howdy, everybody!"
" 'Howdy?' " JoJo repeated incredulously, before being shushed by Papyrus.
"I have a lot to talk about this month, so I won't waste your valuable time!" Asgore's facial expression changed in an instant, taking on an air of melancholy. "I…do have to start with some bad news. Earlier today, I was taking a stroll through this very garden…and I heard a great commotion deeper in the castle. By the time…I do apologize, I said I wouldn't waste time!
"Anyways…the human SOULs we've gathered over the years to break the Barrier…have escaped." Instantly, before the reporters or members of the press standing just behind the camera could panic or belt out questions, he raised his hand in a calming gesture. "Now, the good news is that we have already taken the sort of power from them we need to destroy the Barrier! So don't worry: even with them missing, we can still destroy with them gone! We're still on time!
"Having said that," he said, amidst the vast sigh of relief across the Underground, "this means that there are still six very dangerous SOULs on the loose, and there is no telling what they may do. I have already ordered the Royal Guard to increase patrols and be on the lookout, to ensure you all stay safe. And because they don't have a physical form anymore, they should be clearly leaking power everywhere. All of you fine folks at home just need to keep an eye out for a huge, uncontrolled magical aura spilling everywhere, and that will tell you if one of them is nearby."
In the midst of this speech, something appeared behind Asgore, holding the very same SOUL JoJo and Papyrus had defeated earlier in the day. In its silken glove, the SOUL had regressed to the form of a glowing orange heart, writhing against the steel and shining chains that bound it. It learned close to Asgore's floppy ear, its pompadour brushing against his horns as it whispered to its master.
"Oh." His smile suddenly became quite forced, staring at the SOUL struggling for freedom in the figure's hand. "You see! We've already recaptured one…er, thanks to the efforts of the Royal Guard over in Snowdin!"
"ASGORE KNOWS WHO I AM!" Papyrus shrieked, holding his hands up to his cheekbones and blushing. In spite of not having any blood.
"Great. Great." Joseph massaged his temples, groaning. "So with all of them gone, now I'll get jumped even more by monsters and guards trying to kill me….At least most people don't know what humans look like, so I can still—"
"So we will be able to take care of everything!" Asgore concluded. "Anyways, the broadcaster will now cut to some images of humans and what they look like, so in case one of the SOULs shows up, you can be as prepared as can be."
"SON OF A BITCH!"
JoJo sank deeper into the couch, and his shouts broke through Papyrus's gloating and boasting about being ahead of the curve. "Eh? What's wrong? Everything is just fine!"
In response, Joseph could only facepalm.
In a house just an hour's walk nearby, someone else watched the broadcast just as it cut over to more mundane topics, such as Asgore's announcements of rising stocks and new job opportunities in Snowdin and Sewer.
"One," she confirmed into the phone held to her ear canal. "You saw one before the attack."
The monster on the other end said yes.
"Thanks," she said, barely holding in her enthusiasm in a desperate attempt to be professional while on the job. "We'll send a stipend for the tip-off. Stay safe, citizen."
She hung up, turned off the TV by throwing a spear through the off button, and strode over to her armor.
As she put on her gear and donned her helmet, Undyne grinned viciously. Time to save the world.
<-TO BE CONTINUED
Beaming at the crowd, JoJo turned around to see Papyrus, only to notice the monster standing still, eyes wide and jaws agape. "Okay, that was awesome and all, but don't get so blown away by what we did."
"Oh? Er, no!" Papyrus stuttered, whipping around from his trance-like gaze on the crowd to face JoJo. "I simply…I always thought I'd get the standing ovations and love from capturing a human. Not from defeating one that had already been vanquished!"
"You take what you can get," JoJo said, shrugging. "Just have to make the best out of the cards you're dealt, until you can grab a better one." His expression soured for a moment. "Doesn't matter!" he continued, his cheer returning. "We just kicked the crap out of some cocky murderer and saved these guys! Who's up for a party!"
While some of the townsfolk returned JoJo's cheers, not all of them did. Some looked uneasily to one another, and not all of the guards had shaken themselves back to a professional mindset.
"Oh, right. He did kill someone." JoJo sighed, scratching at the back of his head, than wincing at some of his wounds he didn't notice in the rush of battle. "Yeah, that's a mood-kille—okay, I'm just leaving before I dig myself deeper."
He waved goodbye to the crowd, and made it all of two steps before the adrenaline from the fight wore off, and he slumped against the wall of Grillby's bar in pain.
"Heh…damn. I got more worn out than I thought," he muttered to himself, glancing over at Papyrus, who had now joined in the diminished festivities going on in spite of several monsters' clear discomfort. "I should really be more careful if—no, when—I get jumped again."
"hey, what did I miss?'
Before he could hobble over to the smashed snowman to grab his clothes, Joseph looked over to see Sans casually stroll over from the forest, covered in snow but otherwise no more worse for wear.
"Hey! Good to see you're alright," said JoJo, as he tried fruitlessly to brush the snow off of his scarf and squeeze it dry. "So, hang on…you survived a hit right from that bastard even when it killed that dog. And you know a lot about Stands already…"
"looks like you've found me out," Sans admitted, raising his hands in a gesture of mock defeat. "yeah, i've got a stand. had a stand. it's complicated. i'll explain it to you at our place. you look like you can use a break."
"Huh?" Joseph looked down at himself, seeing that he was bleeding a lot more than he expected. Probably the cold numbing some of the pain. "Oh, right. Sure."
"—used to work Asgore?" Joseph asked. "The King? The one who said to kill all humans?"
"yep. i helped out with some research on stuff, and we found out stands exist. 'cept only his and her majesty, me, and one or two other test subjects managed to get them safely." Sans reclined back on his couch, catching Joseph's look of suspicion. "what's wrong?"
"…I don't know much about him, but he sounds like a real piece of work. I mean, he ordered genocide, right?"
"the king? fluffybuns?" Here, Sans laughed out loud. "only because we need the SOULs to get out. he's a great guy, actually: wouldn't hurt a fly unless that fly was the key to saving his people. and it's not like it's a big deal—humans almost never end up here, so why worry about that order?"
"He's a big pushover! You don't need to worry about him!"
Both occupants looked to see Papyrus walk in the front door, wearing a wreath of flowers around his neck and beaming even wider than usual. "We were talking about the King, right? I'm sure he'll just let you go if you ask him—"
The soft static noises of the aged TV in the room suddenly cut to a cheery jingle, as the channel abruptly switched over to a visible picture.
"speaking of which, isn't it time for the month's royal address?" Sans asked. "here, you can see him now."
"Sans, why didn't you tell me?!" Papyrus demanded as the screen cut to a colorful podium placed in the midst of a serene garden of golden flowers. "I could've made popped spaghetti to enjoy the show!"
Before JoJo could question how a dish like that could even exist, much less be any good, the King stepped up to speak. JoJo's eyes widened. The big, white-furred figure, the horns, the face…he looked just like Toriel!
He raised his hand to his throat, clearing his voice. "Ahem…howdy, everybody!"
" 'Howdy?' " JoJo repeated incredulously, before being shushed by Papyrus.
"I have a lot to talk about this month, so I won't waste your valuable time!" Asgore's facial expression changed in an instant, taking on an air of melancholy. "I…do have to start with some bad news. Earlier today, I was taking a stroll through this very garden…and I heard a great commotion deeper in the castle. By the time…I do apologize, I said I wouldn't waste time!
"Anyways…the human SOULs we've gathered over the years to break the Barrier…have escaped." Instantly, before the reporters or members of the press standing just behind the camera could panic or belt out questions, he raised his hand in a calming gesture. "Now, the good news is that we have already taken the sort of power from them we need to destroy the Barrier! So don't worry: even with them missing, we can still destroy with them gone! We're still on time!
"Having said that," he said, amidst the vast sigh of relief across the Underground, "this means that there are still six very dangerous SOULs on the loose, and there is no telling what they may do. I have already ordered the Royal Guard to increase patrols and be on the lookout, to ensure you all stay safe. And because they don't have a physical form anymore, they should be clearly leaking power everywhere. All of you fine folks at home just need to keep an eye out for a huge, uncontrolled magical aura spilling everywhere, and that will tell you if one of them is nearby."
In the midst of this speech, something appeared behind Asgore, holding the very same SOUL JoJo and Papyrus had defeated earlier in the day. In its silken glove, the SOUL had regressed to the form of a glowing orange heart, writhing against the steel and shining chains that bound it. It learned close to Asgore's floppy ear, its pompadour brushing against his horns as it whispered to its master.
"Oh." His smile suddenly became quite forced, staring at the SOUL struggling for freedom in the figure's hand. "You see! We've already recaptured one…er, thanks to the efforts of the Royal Guard over in Snowdin!"
"ASGORE KNOWS WHO I AM!" Papyrus shrieked, holding his hands up to his cheekbones and blushing. In spite of not having any blood.
"Great. Great." Joseph massaged his temples, groaning. "So with all of them gone, now I'll get jumped even more by monsters and guards trying to kill me….At least most people don't know what humans look like, so I can still—"
"So we will be able to take care of everything!" Asgore concluded. "Anyways, the broadcaster will now cut to some images of humans and what they look like, so in case one of the SOULs shows up, you can be as prepared as can be."
"SON OF A BITCH!"
JoJo sank deeper into the couch, and his shouts broke through Papyrus's gloating and boasting about being ahead of the curve. "Eh? What's wrong? Everything is just fine!"
In response, Joseph could only facepalm.
In a house just an hour's walk nearby, someone else watched the broadcast just as it cut over to more mundane topics, such as Asgore's announcements of rising stocks and new job opportunities in Snowdin and Sewer.
"One," she confirmed into the phone held to her ear canal. "You saw one before the attack."
The monster on the other end said yes.
"Thanks," she said, barely holding in her enthusiasm in a desperate attempt to be professional while on the job. "We'll send a stipend for the tip-off. Stay safe, citizen."
She hung up, turned off the TV by throwing a spear through the off button, and strode over to her armor.
As she put on her gear and donned her helmet, Undyne grinned viciously. Time to save the world.
<-TO BE CONTINUED
The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
's Undyne.
This will end both well and badly for everyone involved.
This will end both well and badly for everyone involved.
Chapter 4: Goodbyes, Gifts, and the Dreaded Sewer Level!
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
"you sure you wanna head out so soon?" Sans asked, only half-looking at JoJo as he repacked his bag. "i mean, there's still a party going on. grillby just said on undernet that he's offering a free drink to everyone, and i can do with a ketchup cocktail right now."
"I can't risk—ketchup cocktail?" JoJo asked, pausing for a moment. "You know what, forget it," he continued, tossing the small stack of comic books, half-full package of spider doughnuts, and all his other loose belongings in his knapsack. "Because of that little Powerpoint on TV, I need to get outta town as soon as possible."
"you saved the whole town from an angry ghost," Sans countered, helpfully doing nothing to help JoJo get ready to leave. "i don't think they'll try to fight you after that."
"Knowing how I got jumped every few steps outside town? At most, they'd give me a head start. At worst, killed on sight." The human zipped his bag shut, then paused for a second. "Wait a second…I've got an idea on how to get out safely. You wouldn't happen to have a bigger bag anywhere, would you?"
"papyrus has a reusable shopping bag he uses when he buys noodles," Sans replied, immediately catching onto to JoJo's idea. "you're lucky stands can be seen by monsters. humans without 'em can't. see them, that is. when we did research on them, the one asgore adopted couldn't see them at all."
"There was a human that wasn't killed on sight down here?" JoJo asked, even as he climbed into the shopping bag. Slamming his palm into the wall, he left a thorn behind, and the consistency of the bag hardened to be able to sustain his weight.
"You know, if I didn't have to go now, I'd have a lot of questions to field," Joseph continued, climbing into the bag as he spoke. An aura of rich purple blazed into existence around him, as Synchronicity emerged and slung the bag (and its master) across its shoulder.
"you have a phone, right? we can just text later."
"You're leaving already?" Papyrus asked, popping his head out of the kitchen. The distracting amounts of steam pouring out from the stove didn't seem to phase him. If JoJo didn't know Papyrus was harmless from experience, the visual of steam pouring out of every hole in his skull from whatever dish he had tried his luck at today would have been terrifying. "I understand you want to avoid the Royal Guard, but they have a really big garrison in Waterfall."
JoJo sighed, ducking into his bag out of sight. "Which means I need a new plan to avoid getting my head blown off," he concluded, as Synchronicity opened the front door and barely managed to avoid suspiciously shrinking away from the pack of dogs passing by on patrol. "Any chance you guys can help out?"
"I would love to, my friend," Papyrus said, placing particular emphasis on those last words, "but I still need to cook for the potluck at Doggo's funeral. I can give you some food for your trip, though!"
"Uh…thanks?" Joseph asked, as Thriller emerged in a flash of blue light, dramatically thrust its hand through Papyrus's ribs, and withdrew a plate of pasta. Both Stand and User's eyes glinted with childish delight as it presented its pasta to JoJo.
"I normally hide this inside my ribcage, just in case I were to be asked on a date out of the blue and needed a gift…but I believe it will more than suffice as a token of our friendship!"
Normally, Joseph would have just thrown this thing masquerading as food away. However, Papyrus was looking at him so earnestly, and magic healing food was magic healing food, regardless of its taste.
"…Thaaaaaanks," JoJo said slowly, making sure the food was very secure in its Tupperware before sliding it into the bag he was riding in. "It'd be better if you'd come along to back me up, but something tells me you won't, even if I ask nicely."
"I would, if not for time constraints!" Papyrus objected. "And Sans is too lazy to lift a finger for us, I'd imagine!"
"hey, i'm plenty busy," Sans countered, hopping on the couch and pulling the TV remote to his hand with a flick of his wrist. "i've got a marathon of soaps to catch, plus a break, plus a lunch break, plus—"
"We get it!" Joseph and Papyrus exclaimed simultaneously.
"However," Papyrus said, stepping out of the kitchen as he had Thriller continue (trying to) cook the spaghetti dish he dimly remembered seeing on TV once, "you may have another option."
"Okay, I'm all ears," JoJo said through Synchronicity, as it zipped up the bag with its user inside.
Papyrus told him.
"…No!" Joseph yelled, unzipping the bag with his Stand and popping his head out of it to glare at Papyrus. "Hell no! There's no way in hell I'm going there!"
"But it's a new town!" the skeleton said, pointing out the window to the conveniently placed entrance to the new settlement. "There shouldn't be too many guards there, and it connects to Hotland and New Home as well as Waterfall!"
"I have standards, damnit! I'm not crawling through there! I've played through enough video games to—"
"it's either that or risk getting turned into a shish-kebab by the guard in waterfall."
Joseph's nostrils flared, realizing that Sans had a very good point. It was either going through the obvious route and getting attacked and likely killed at every turn, or…the unpleasant route.
"Okay. Fine." Jumping out the door, Synchronicity darted around the house, and lifted up the grate covering the entrance to Sewer. "But I'm billing all the showers' I'll need to you!" JoJo yelled, slamming the portal shut and continuing on the next leg of his adventure.
Chapter 4
In Which JoJo Traverses a Sewer Level (against his better judgment), Undyne Refuses to Tip, and Both gain deep appreciation for Urban Infrastructure.
"I can't risk—ketchup cocktail?" JoJo asked, pausing for a moment. "You know what, forget it," he continued, tossing the small stack of comic books, half-full package of spider doughnuts, and all his other loose belongings in his knapsack. "Because of that little Powerpoint on TV, I need to get outta town as soon as possible."
"you saved the whole town from an angry ghost," Sans countered, helpfully doing nothing to help JoJo get ready to leave. "i don't think they'll try to fight you after that."
"Knowing how I got jumped every few steps outside town? At most, they'd give me a head start. At worst, killed on sight." The human zipped his bag shut, then paused for a second. "Wait a second…I've got an idea on how to get out safely. You wouldn't happen to have a bigger bag anywhere, would you?"
"papyrus has a reusable shopping bag he uses when he buys noodles," Sans replied, immediately catching onto to JoJo's idea. "you're lucky stands can be seen by monsters. humans without 'em can't. see them, that is. when we did research on them, the one asgore adopted couldn't see them at all."
"There was a human that wasn't killed on sight down here?" JoJo asked, even as he climbed into the shopping bag. Slamming his palm into the wall, he left a thorn behind, and the consistency of the bag hardened to be able to sustain his weight.
"You know, if I didn't have to go now, I'd have a lot of questions to field," Joseph continued, climbing into the bag as he spoke. An aura of rich purple blazed into existence around him, as Synchronicity emerged and slung the bag (and its master) across its shoulder.
"you have a phone, right? we can just text later."
"You're leaving already?" Papyrus asked, popping his head out of the kitchen. The distracting amounts of steam pouring out from the stove didn't seem to phase him. If JoJo didn't know Papyrus was harmless from experience, the visual of steam pouring out of every hole in his skull from whatever dish he had tried his luck at today would have been terrifying. "I understand you want to avoid the Royal Guard, but they have a really big garrison in Waterfall."
JoJo sighed, ducking into his bag out of sight. "Which means I need a new plan to avoid getting my head blown off," he concluded, as Synchronicity opened the front door and barely managed to avoid suspiciously shrinking away from the pack of dogs passing by on patrol. "Any chance you guys can help out?"
"I would love to, my friend," Papyrus said, placing particular emphasis on those last words, "but I still need to cook for the potluck at Doggo's funeral. I can give you some food for your trip, though!"
"Uh…thanks?" Joseph asked, as Thriller emerged in a flash of blue light, dramatically thrust its hand through Papyrus's ribs, and withdrew a plate of pasta. Both Stand and User's eyes glinted with childish delight as it presented its pasta to JoJo.
"I normally hide this inside my ribcage, just in case I were to be asked on a date out of the blue and needed a gift…but I believe it will more than suffice as a token of our friendship!"
Normally, Joseph would have just thrown this thing masquerading as food away. However, Papyrus was looking at him so earnestly, and magic healing food was magic healing food, regardless of its taste.
"…Thaaaaaanks," JoJo said slowly, making sure the food was very secure in its Tupperware before sliding it into the bag he was riding in. "It'd be better if you'd come along to back me up, but something tells me you won't, even if I ask nicely."
"I would, if not for time constraints!" Papyrus objected. "And Sans is too lazy to lift a finger for us, I'd imagine!"
"hey, i'm plenty busy," Sans countered, hopping on the couch and pulling the TV remote to his hand with a flick of his wrist. "i've got a marathon of soaps to catch, plus a break, plus a lunch break, plus—"
"We get it!" Joseph and Papyrus exclaimed simultaneously.
"However," Papyrus said, stepping out of the kitchen as he had Thriller continue (trying to) cook the spaghetti dish he dimly remembered seeing on TV once, "you may have another option."
"Okay, I'm all ears," JoJo said through Synchronicity, as it zipped up the bag with its user inside.
Papyrus told him.
"…No!" Joseph yelled, unzipping the bag with his Stand and popping his head out of it to glare at Papyrus. "Hell no! There's no way in hell I'm going there!"
"But it's a new town!" the skeleton said, pointing out the window to the conveniently placed entrance to the new settlement. "There shouldn't be too many guards there, and it connects to Hotland and New Home as well as Waterfall!"
"I have standards, damnit! I'm not crawling through there! I've played through enough video games to—"
"it's either that or risk getting turned into a shish-kebab by the guard in waterfall."
Joseph's nostrils flared, realizing that Sans had a very good point. It was either going through the obvious route and getting attacked and likely killed at every turn, or…the unpleasant route.
"Okay. Fine." Jumping out the door, Synchronicity darted around the house, and lifted up the grate covering the entrance to Sewer. "But I'm billing all the showers' I'll need to you!" JoJo yelled, slamming the portal shut and continuing on the next leg of his adventure.
Chapter 4
In Which JoJo Traverses a Sewer Level (against his better judgment), Undyne Refuses to Tip, and Both gain deep appreciation for Urban Infrastructure.
The Sandman
So Zetta Slowpoke
- Location
- Wherever I am, which isn't where I'm not
This is a thing of beauty.
Now, important question: what's Joseph's Fun value?
Now, important question: what's Joseph's Fun value?
Chapter 4: Exploration, a Break, and a Beatdown
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
You mean if he'll meet Gaster or something?
Well, the answer to that is à̢̙̤̱͈̙̰̬̪̮͙̮ͨͬ͋ ̛̣͙̮̫͕̹͕̟̭͙͙͇͔͖̗̞̪̥̦̈ͩ́ͮ͆̓ͪ̆͂̐ͬͧ̄ͪ͘͠͞s̬̫̮̻̦̖͓̩̩̫̤̦͒̔̇͆̈ͬ̓̄ͥ̋ͨͩ͑ͬ̇́̚͟͢͞p̸̷̛̗̝̦̟͎͓̞̳͚͈͖̤̮͓̻̦͛͑ͭ̆̆ͥͭ̋̄̾ͥ͒ͨ̋̒̈͟͝ͅͅo̧̍̑̀̑͑ͣ͌͒̂ͣ͑ͣ̃̓҉̴͎̪̫̯̰̣̬̮̜͉͕̱̰̳͍̜ì̷̞͙̯͍̩̞͈͓͔̼͚͖̩̮̣́̎ͭͩ̋̏ͣ̈́̑̓ͫ͡l̴͓͖̦̦̣̠̦̫͉̖͎̣̫̩̬̬͓ͤͪͣͫ͑͐̍͢ḛ̡̹̺̤̦̦̬̩͖͍̼̞͕̂̉ͦ́̃͑̅̐̃̋̏̋͐̓̀͝ͅr̨̗̖̗̤̤͕̣̓́ͨͥ̔̇̔ͩͣ͒ͪͤ̊̑̉ͅ,̢̢͂ͫ̿̀҉̛̠̣̜̗̫̩̟̤͍̗͔ ̴̢̼̱̦̹͔͕͉̞͖͔̰̫̪͈̻̣̼͆͆͆̽̃́͘͜ș̵̡̨̹̼̺͈̖̻̯͆ͥ͌̔͐̅̾̊̌̈́ͥ̐ͤ̚o̞̜̫͖̪͒͊̂̐́̕͟ ̴̡̀̎ͥ͒͛̿ͤ̊͐̒̒ͬͭͦ̒ͯ̒͟͡҉͓͎̳̖h͛ͩ́ͥ̇́̋̊̑̊͒ͭ̚͡͠͏͇̯͚̥̝͝͝e̵̴̖̼͔͈̜̟̳̞͗͗ͬ̈́͐̐̏̅͗̑́̽r̵̷̩̩̲̠͈̻̜̠͎͕̥͓̲͇̹̹̻͑ͤ̆̀͂ͩ̂̍ͦ̑̀́͞ë̶̢̫̯͈̱̺̜̰̜́́̓̉̆ͯ̿͊ͯ͟'͛ͧͤͪͭͣ͋̂̄͘̕͟͠҉̯̜͕͚̜̟̳͉̼̲̫̼͓̫̻̗̹̲s̵̪̼͇͖̥͗̑̔ͥ͢͜͟ ̊ͦ́̚҉̴̙̣̱͉͞mͣ̐͑ͬ̆͛ͨ͂̾͌ͣ̔͢͟͠҉̧̰̬͓̲ơ̴̦̠̦̫̗̟̼̤͎̺̭͓̣̖̻̭̞̥͂ͭ͊ͯ̋͊ͨ͡͡r̴̸͙̠͚͖̳͔͙̣̟͙͔̘͍̲͈ͥ̽͗̂͌̍̑́͘ͅé̴͓̯̺̺͕͓̟̮͍̮͉͇͇ͨͥͩ̓̍̆̎̔̎ͣ̊͋̇͌͌̐ͧ͟ ̵̴̢̰͈̩͖̺̠̜̫̤̰̘̘͚̫̍̄͂̌͟͠ͅͅş̸̛̊̓̃ͪ҉̥̪͓̪̳̠̙͈͚͉̝̺̬̜t̔̌͋̊ͥ̅ͥ̚҉͏̴̮͕̗͖͞ͅo̡͎͓͈̩̬̫̤̓ͣͥ̓̍ͧ͐̈̒̈́ͮͪͩ́ŗ̷͓̺̫̗̙̓̔ͬ͐̉̍̑͂y̧̟̼̮̜̤͙̬͍͍̻̤͚͕̾̂̐̑ͦ͊ͧ̽̈ͯ̔ͬ̋́̕!̶̛̾̓͋̆ͩ͏̢̮̜̥̘̫̱̰̪̥̙͔̫͠
--
As he had learned when he first summoned his Stand, Joseph could see through its eyes. It was as if he were in two places at once—though, perhaps a more apt metaphor would be as it the Stand's vision was a separate tab in a web browser from his own eyes. The screen was split evenly between both tabs, so that he could see two sights at once.
Which was very helpful at this moment, given that Joseph would have no idea where the hell he was going were it not for Synchronicity, due to being in a bag. He climbed down the ladder, eventually touching down onto a concrete floor.
Though his Stand lacked a nose, the smell was far less nauseating that JoJo had feared—more akin to faint sulfur and eggs compared to what he had expected.
He dimly recalled that he hadn't seen a single bathroom in all of his time through the Underground. Nor had he needed to use one. Then, he remembered that monster food wasn't technically real, and it made sense. He hadn't needed to take a piss since getting here, and monster food was 100% digestible, so Sewer was much cleaner than he had expected.
Which was fortunate for the many monsters living here, JoJo mused, as he stepped onto the sidewalk and began walking through town. Though Sewer's titular water canal wasn't quite crystal clear (or sanitary at all), that didn't stop a large portion of the population from commuting across the town on boats or even just swimming through it. Through his Stand, JoJo could see a tree-like monster carrying a shipment of bricks in its hollowed-out chest as it drifted through town. A fishing pole hung by itself in air, reeling in its line to pull out a grinning, arm-less reptilian kid eating its bait. It whirred in anger, then tossed the child onto a school barge, where he ignored the impact and immediately jogged forward to pay the bus fare.
Synchronicity shrank away from the edge, barely avoiding a disgruntled golem-esque monster's sharp shoulder as it passed by on a small, wooden boat. Muttering about pedestrians, the monster squirmed in place, somehow not breaking the tiny vessel and sending it and the robe-clad, hooded driver into the drink.
"Same to you!" Joseph barked through Synchronicity. He stopped himself before he could get into a longer rant, as two titans clad in the Royal Guard's armor passed him by, gossiping about some TV show and discussing something about whiskey and cigars. While they weren't paying Synchronicity any mind, as the nine-foot-tall figure in full flowery bloom wasn't too out of place in this veritable menagerie of varied monsters, undue attention would not help his case.
Nor would his stomach, JoJo realized, as he felt his belly rumble in hunger. He hadn't eaten in…well, a while. While he did have the food from that bakesale and Papyrus's abomination of noodles and charcoal, he would prefer to have more filling fare, and that Italian place right down the street looked good.
Stretching out its palm, Synchronicity whipped out a vine and hurled the door open. Whistling in a probably ill-advised attempt to act natural, Joseph entered the bar.
And, shortly after, a figure clad in black armor leaped out of Sewer's river, conjured a spear in a burst of crackling white light, and followed suit into the eatery.
"Spaghetti al nero de what?! Why the hell is it black?!"
"It's the entrée on today's three course meal, sir," the anglerfish-like beast patiently explained from the fishtank next to the table. "After the garlic bread you ordered, the next course has a more pronounced taste—"
"It's black!" Synchronicity bellowed, viciously tapping the tank and sending the waiter shrinking behind his coral reef in surprise. "Who the hell drops ink all over pasta?!"
"It is black," the waiter explained, wheeling his tank back slightly to avoid another aggressive poke at his domicile, "because our chef uses her own ink as a sauce, to produce a meal which perfectly blends pasta and seafood. I assure you, it's perfectly sanitary and safe to eat—otherwise, the humans wouldn't have eaten it themselves!"
"…A human dish, huh?" Synchronicity asked. Slowly, it lifted the fork from the table, twirling it around in its mysterious meal. It lifted a small forkful up to its mouth, and sucked it down its gullet.
Joseph felt the taste pop through his own taste buds in turn, and immediately his pupils dialated. That taste…it was amazing! If this is what expensive food tasted, he really had missed out on what his family had used to splurge on before…well, it was way better than he expected.
"This is great!" he mumbled through his Stand, already going in for another forkful and savoring every noodle of the food.
Sighing in relief, the waiter pulled up his notepad and withdrew his pen. "Very good, sir. Now, for dessert, we have gelato (jn a variety of flavors), or strawberry shortcake. Which would you prefer?"
"Whuh?" Synchronicity muttered through a mouthful of spaghetti, inadvertently splattering ink over the table, and through proxy from the mystic laws of Stands, the walls of Joseph's bag. "Already?"
"We are expecting a large party later today," the fish explained, moving its tank again to allow an armored titan access to a seat at the bar, "and we need ample time to prepare food for such a large group. We will not bring it out until you're finished with your second course, sir."
"Oh," JoJo commented, putting down Synchronicity's fork and taking a sip of (clean) water. "I'll have the gelato, I guess. That's a fancy way of saying ice cream, right?"
"The cake's better," muttered the guard, stretching back on their stool and accidentally prodding at the bag with the spear hooked to their waist.
Synchronicity winced in pain as its user was jabbed in the side, the bag's enhanced structure only helping so much to blunt the weapon's impact. "Hey, watch it! You'll break my stuff!" Gingerly, Joseph leaned away from the spear now imbedded in his hiding space, prodding the tip with a finger and noticing that it was, indeed, very sharp. If he had been only a bit to the left…
"Sorry." The guard said. She rose to her feet, and JoJo couldn't help but notice the menacing aura this figure cast. Though she was only barely taller than he was before his impromptu muscle transfusion with Papyrus, Joseph felt an aura of danger and foreboding…ness…emanating off them. And they were just standing there!
"I'll get that," she went on, grabbing the spear with a gauntlet-clad hand and pulling.
"Did you hear me?!" Synchronicity hissed. "Back off! That's delicate stuff in there—I'll grab the spear!"
"It's…just a bag." The guard showed no signs of stopping, grunting slightly as her weapon became caught in the wood-like fabric of the sack. "It's not like it's anything really dange—"
With a fatal riiiiiip, the bag tore open, and Joseph's argument was cut short by virtue of coming face-to-face with his opponent.
The face he didn't want any of the King's guards to see. His own.
"Uh…"
For a long moment, the two simply stared at one another. Obscured by their helmet's beaver, JoJo could nevertheless sense the previous, brutal indifference the stranger possessed rapidly fading, swapped out in a second for shaking rage. As if suspended in an intangible wind, the red ponytail sticking out the back of her helmet began to rise, as their aura of menace billowed into a near-tangible presence around them.
"You'll ruin my ventriloquist act!" Joseph quickly spat through Synchronicity, picking himself up in his Stand's arms and propping his body on its knees. "If you stab it, you'll screw me out of work, and I'll have to sell my—"
The act clearly did not work, as the spear instantly at JoJo's throat attested. It was only due to quickly pushing back on the table that saved him, the thrust only grazing his forehead as he tumbled backwards, off his chair and onto the floor.
"Human," the guard hissed, righteous fury barely kept in check as more spears phased into existence behind them. "You won't fool me. For the good of all monsters, I will—"
"Get lost! ARO!"
With a sharp kick, Synchronicity sent the table flying into the air, blocking the volley of spears and stopping them from impaling its master to the floor.
By the time Undyne smacked the table across and brushed her way past the shocked and fleeing patrons of the restaurant, she caught a glimpse of JoJo punching the window to shards, jumping through the portal into the murky waters below.
Chapter 4: Distractions, Loss of Composure, and Pitching Pasta
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
Joseph quickly realized that he was not in the best of positions right now.
First, he hadn't paid for his meal yet, and any restaurant which could make pasta that good didn't deserve a dine and dash.
Second, he was now thoroughly submerged in water, meaning that all of his stuff, from his comic books to his phone, were probably soaked. And while he could probably figure out a way to fix them with Synchronicity, it was still a pain in the ass.
Third, the Tupperware containing [Papyrus's spaghetti] had burst open when he hit the water. Now, some of the stale noodles wrapped around his legs, somehow sturdy enough to leave him struggling to swim.
And fourth, there was a giant tank of a monster plowing through the river surrounded by a giant swarm of spears. That should've been much higher on his priority list, really.
"I was in the middle of something!" Joseph yelled through his Stand, already lashing a vine from his wrist to a conveniently-placed lamppost. "What kind of cop tries to kill someone when they're not doing a damn thinGAAH!"
Though he managed to hurl himself out of the water (and out of the way of most of the spears careening towards him), Joseph still grunted in pain as a few projectiles pierced him through his ankle and thigh.
"Seven SOULs," said the armored figure, ignoring JoJo's words. "That's what we need to break the [Barrier] and save our people. The power of seven human SOULs.
"Six," she continued, as Joseph grabbed a handful of the spaghetti al nero which had fallen into the bag and crammed it into his mouth, healing his wounds. "We have the energy of six human SOULs so far. And you're not one of the escaped ones. Do you understand?"
"Yeah! I understand that you're a dumbass!"
Though she was still covered from head to toe in armor, Joseph could still see his foe twitch in agitation.
Out of any type of opponent he could fight, it was the driven and determined ones he had the most problems with. Almost all the fights he'd won—on the surfaceand underground—he had done by distracting or throwing his aggressor off their game, letting him win handily with a clever scheme.
But foes like this…were infuriating! When you fight someone with tunnel vision, there's no room for distracting or fooling them, because all they think about is beating you!
However…if he could provoke enough of a reaction out of her to throw her off her game…
"Where the hell do you get off on saying you're doing monsters a favor by murdering someone? I get the [Barrier] needs a ton of power to break, but did you even try to find another way?!"
"You're human," Undyne went on, through gritted teeth, "and you're the last SOUL we need. Got that?! Don't worm your way out of this. You deserve it."
"What? Just because I'm human?!"
JoJo climbed to his feet, ignoring the crowd of monsters already gathering in the river to take videos of the climactic battle. Or at least, what they thought was going to be an epic fight.
Not if he could help it.
"You don't see me killing people just because they're not human!" he continued, noting with some satisfaction that his foe was clearly losing her composure, her armor doing little to mask her shakes of rage. And…was that steam coming out of the sides of her helmet—around where her ears would be?
"Justify that all you want with ancient history and all that bullshit, but there's no way you can be so high and mighty when your plan to save everyone involvesgenocide!"
Undyne's eye twitched behind her helmet.
"That's how you wanna do this then?!" she demanded, angrily dismissing her spear and yanking her helmet off.
Joseph could tell he was fighting a woman from the voice, but he wasn't expecting a giant fish behind the armor.
If she weren't missing an eye…or, well, a fish…she would be sort of cute. Not his type, but if circumstances were different, he might tap—
"NGAAAAAAAH!"
Undyne's roar was so loud, it actually pushed JoJo back from the sheer sonic force of her howl! Leaning forward to regain his balance, Joseph smirked. Now that he'd broken her singleminded concentration…
"Then we'll skip the speech, human!" Undyne spat, bile rising in her throat. "You! Human! You're standing in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams! I thought humans were supposed to be compassionate and smart? But you?! You're just a jackass!"
"Am I now?" Joseph said, layering as much exaggerated contempt and smarmy overtones as he could possibly fake in his speech.
"We're trying to save our civilization here, and you're treating it as a joke?!" she roared, pulling her spear back into reality and pointing it menacingly at JoJo.
As she continued her monologue, she failed to notice Joseph reaching behind his back, into the bag she had torn earlier.
"We've been down here for thousands of years, while you humans have been living it up in the sunlight!" Undyne's scowl twisted into a vicious, sadistic smile. "But that ends today! You've met your match! All the monsters who've suffered because of your people, all of their dreams that have withered away…I'll send them right through my spear and—"
In the middle of her speech, Joseph took the time to reach for what was left of Papyrus's pasta, grab a huge handful of it with Synchronicity, and throw it right at Undyne's exposed face.
It flew true, majestically through the air, and splattered all over Undyne's face before she could even react to dodge.
She froze, as the indescribable taste of legendarily bad cooking dribbled down her mouth and all over her face.
"N….NGAAAAAAH!" She abruptly dropped her spear, clawing at her face in an attempt to get the awful thing off of her. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! IT'S LIKE MONSTER DUST AND CHARCOAL! WHO FIGHTS WITH FOOD?!"
Joseph broke into a huge grin, laughing. So much for a big, serious battle!
"That was just the warm-up!" he announced, sending his Stand sprinting forward with a fist at the ready. "Here's the curveball!"
First, he hadn't paid for his meal yet, and any restaurant which could make pasta that good didn't deserve a dine and dash.
Second, he was now thoroughly submerged in water, meaning that all of his stuff, from his comic books to his phone, were probably soaked. And while he could probably figure out a way to fix them with Synchronicity, it was still a pain in the ass.
Third, the Tupperware containing [Papyrus's spaghetti] had burst open when he hit the water. Now, some of the stale noodles wrapped around his legs, somehow sturdy enough to leave him struggling to swim.
And fourth, there was a giant tank of a monster plowing through the river surrounded by a giant swarm of spears. That should've been much higher on his priority list, really.
"I was in the middle of something!" Joseph yelled through his Stand, already lashing a vine from his wrist to a conveniently-placed lamppost. "What kind of cop tries to kill someone when they're not doing a damn thinGAAH!"
Though he managed to hurl himself out of the water (and out of the way of most of the spears careening towards him), Joseph still grunted in pain as a few projectiles pierced him through his ankle and thigh.
"Seven SOULs," said the armored figure, ignoring JoJo's words. "That's what we need to break the [Barrier] and save our people. The power of seven human SOULs.
"Six," she continued, as Joseph grabbed a handful of the spaghetti al nero which had fallen into the bag and crammed it into his mouth, healing his wounds. "We have the energy of six human SOULs so far. And you're not one of the escaped ones. Do you understand?"
"Yeah! I understand that you're a dumbass!"
Though she was still covered from head to toe in armor, Joseph could still see his foe twitch in agitation.
Out of any type of opponent he could fight, it was the driven and determined ones he had the most problems with. Almost all the fights he'd won—on the surfaceand underground—he had done by distracting or throwing his aggressor off their game, letting him win handily with a clever scheme.
But foes like this…were infuriating! When you fight someone with tunnel vision, there's no room for distracting or fooling them, because all they think about is beating you!
However…if he could provoke enough of a reaction out of her to throw her off her game…
"Where the hell do you get off on saying you're doing monsters a favor by murdering someone? I get the [Barrier] needs a ton of power to break, but did you even try to find another way?!"
"You're human," Undyne went on, through gritted teeth, "and you're the last SOUL we need. Got that?! Don't worm your way out of this. You deserve it."
"What? Just because I'm human?!"
JoJo climbed to his feet, ignoring the crowd of monsters already gathering in the river to take videos of the climactic battle. Or at least, what they thought was going to be an epic fight.
Not if he could help it.
"You don't see me killing people just because they're not human!" he continued, noting with some satisfaction that his foe was clearly losing her composure, her armor doing little to mask her shakes of rage. And…was that steam coming out of the sides of her helmet—around where her ears would be?
"Justify that all you want with ancient history and all that bullshit, but there's no way you can be so high and mighty when your plan to save everyone involvesgenocide!"
Undyne's eye twitched behind her helmet.
"That's how you wanna do this then?!" she demanded, angrily dismissing her spear and yanking her helmet off.
Joseph could tell he was fighting a woman from the voice, but he wasn't expecting a giant fish behind the armor.
If she weren't missing an eye…or, well, a fish…she would be sort of cute. Not his type, but if circumstances were different, he might tap—
"NGAAAAAAAH!"
Undyne's roar was so loud, it actually pushed JoJo back from the sheer sonic force of her howl! Leaning forward to regain his balance, Joseph smirked. Now that he'd broken her singleminded concentration…
"Then we'll skip the speech, human!" Undyne spat, bile rising in her throat. "You! Human! You're standing in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams! I thought humans were supposed to be compassionate and smart? But you?! You're just a jackass!"
"Am I now?" Joseph said, layering as much exaggerated contempt and smarmy overtones as he could possibly fake in his speech.
"We're trying to save our civilization here, and you're treating it as a joke?!" she roared, pulling her spear back into reality and pointing it menacingly at JoJo.
As she continued her monologue, she failed to notice Joseph reaching behind his back, into the bag she had torn earlier.
"We've been down here for thousands of years, while you humans have been living it up in the sunlight!" Undyne's scowl twisted into a vicious, sadistic smile. "But that ends today! You've met your match! All the monsters who've suffered because of your people, all of their dreams that have withered away…I'll send them right through my spear and—"
In the middle of her speech, Joseph took the time to reach for what was left of Papyrus's pasta, grab a huge handful of it with Synchronicity, and throw it right at Undyne's exposed face.
It flew true, majestically through the air, and splattered all over Undyne's face before she could even react to dodge.
She froze, as the indescribable taste of legendarily bad cooking dribbled down her mouth and all over her face.
"N….NGAAAAAAH!" She abruptly dropped her spear, clawing at her face in an attempt to get the awful thing off of her. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! IT'S LIKE MONSTER DUST AND CHARCOAL! WHO FIGHTS WITH FOOD?!"
Joseph broke into a huge grin, laughing. So much for a big, serious battle!
"That was just the warm-up!" he announced, sending his Stand sprinting forward with a fist at the ready. "Here's the curveball!"
Chapter 4: Joestar Family Technique!
Gamerex27
Seriously, WTF.
- Location
- Earth
"ARO!"
With a sharp cracking sound, Synchronicity's fist slammed into Undyne's plate armor.
However, rather than the Stand (and by extension, JoJo) breaking their hand on the solid steel alloy, it was the armor that gave way. The breastplate caved in from the impact, and the fist carried on through to deliver a painful, if weakened, punch to her abdomen.
"GRRAAHA!" Undyne fell backwards, then swiftly kicked up from her prone position and shook her head vigorously to get rid of the trap. "So, humans are stronger than I thought! Guess I'll be going all out to take you down!"
"You'd think that," Joseph stated, calling his Stand back as the duo entered a stand-off, "but not this time. I'm not as strong as I used to be, thanks of how I saved Papyrus's life—I'm sure he told you that, right?" he continued, noticing Undyne snort in disbelief and bring her spear back to a ready stance.
"Before you do that, I think you should probably get that armor checked," he continued. "Especially that collar."
"What?" That didn't make any sense-the human's blow had landed in her midsection.
Undyne looked down, and her eyes widened as she saw the purple thorn stuck deep in her ruined chestplate.
"When I threw that spaghetti, I hid a [thorn] in it," JoJo explained. "Not only did the shitty cooking throw you off your game, but I used my thorn to give your armor the same brittleness of those noodles!"
"You really think I needed the armor? NGAAAAAAH!"
Undyne tossed her spear high in the air, then flexed. Her armor cracked into pieces, revealing a surprisingly lanky body beneath, albeit still frighteningly muscular. With grace that betrayed hours upon hours of a practiced maneuver, she snatched her spear out of the air, twirled it around as if she were wielding a baton, then resumed pointing it at JoJo. "That just slowed me down! You won't be able to trick me again, human!"
"Again with 'human,' huh? Guess she doesn't care who I am or that I'm not a genocidal moron like Matthew." Joseph quickly skimmed the area. Then, the proverbial lightbulb in his head shone bright, like a diamond in the rough!
"I don't need to trick you again!" JoJo smirked, raising his hand to display the vines now trailing down his entire arm. "In fact, the trick I've got in mind will end this fight before you can throw even one more spear!"
"Oh, really?!" said Undyne sarcastically.
"My next move is a technique passed down through my family line for generations," he said, bringing out his Stand to mirror his mocking, purposefully exaggerated copy of Undyne's stance. "It's our secret weapon! And you've got no hope of countering it—it's never failed to win!"
"Showing off a [secret technique]?!" Undyne repeated, grinning viciously. "Ha! I should've known! All humans have special named skills they use in fights! Martial arts, jutsu…you all have them! It must be how you won the war!"
"Of course it is!" JoJo declared.
In reality, he had no idea what she was going on about. She was probably one of those people who grew up on all the cartoons, and thought the world actually worked on the same rules.
Or maybe she was just crazy, period. It didn't really matter, did it?
"Alright, then…" JoJo stretched, then leaned forward, drew his arms tight to his sides, and gave Undyne a grin of his own. "You ready to see my secret technique?"
"YEAH!" Undyne roared back, not noticing how the crowd was currently split between cheering along with her or just laughing their asses off from the melodrama in front of them. "GO AHEAD AND TRY! I'LL SHOW YOU JUST HOW STRONG WE MONSTERS CAN BE!"
"THEN HERE IT COMES!"
"BRING IT ON!"
"NOW, I'M GOING TO…"
"COME AND GET ME!"
Joseph's grin widened, stretching across his entire face.
"RUN AWAAAAAAAAY!"
Immediately after saying that, JoJo turned tail and bolted as fast as he possibly could away from Undyne, his arms pumping and legs spinning into a blur of motion.
"YEEEEAAA---"
Undyne stopped mid cheer, gaping as the human sped away across town.
It took her brain a couple of seconds to catch up with what she had just witnessed. For a few moments, she stood there, mouth agape and eyes nearly popping out of her skull in disbelief.
Then, she regained her senses, roared, and lunged forwards in hot pursuit.
With a sharp cracking sound, Synchronicity's fist slammed into Undyne's plate armor.
However, rather than the Stand (and by extension, JoJo) breaking their hand on the solid steel alloy, it was the armor that gave way. The breastplate caved in from the impact, and the fist carried on through to deliver a painful, if weakened, punch to her abdomen.
"GRRAAHA!" Undyne fell backwards, then swiftly kicked up from her prone position and shook her head vigorously to get rid of the trap. "So, humans are stronger than I thought! Guess I'll be going all out to take you down!"
"You'd think that," Joseph stated, calling his Stand back as the duo entered a stand-off, "but not this time. I'm not as strong as I used to be, thanks of how I saved Papyrus's life—I'm sure he told you that, right?" he continued, noticing Undyne snort in disbelief and bring her spear back to a ready stance.
"Before you do that, I think you should probably get that armor checked," he continued. "Especially that collar."
"What?" That didn't make any sense-the human's blow had landed in her midsection.
Undyne looked down, and her eyes widened as she saw the purple thorn stuck deep in her ruined chestplate.
"When I threw that spaghetti, I hid a [thorn] in it," JoJo explained. "Not only did the shitty cooking throw you off your game, but I used my thorn to give your armor the same brittleness of those noodles!"
"You really think I needed the armor? NGAAAAAAH!"
Undyne tossed her spear high in the air, then flexed. Her armor cracked into pieces, revealing a surprisingly lanky body beneath, albeit still frighteningly muscular. With grace that betrayed hours upon hours of a practiced maneuver, she snatched her spear out of the air, twirled it around as if she were wielding a baton, then resumed pointing it at JoJo. "That just slowed me down! You won't be able to trick me again, human!"
"Again with 'human,' huh? Guess she doesn't care who I am or that I'm not a genocidal moron like Matthew." Joseph quickly skimmed the area. Then, the proverbial lightbulb in his head shone bright, like a diamond in the rough!
"I don't need to trick you again!" JoJo smirked, raising his hand to display the vines now trailing down his entire arm. "In fact, the trick I've got in mind will end this fight before you can throw even one more spear!"
"Oh, really?!" said Undyne sarcastically.
"My next move is a technique passed down through my family line for generations," he said, bringing out his Stand to mirror his mocking, purposefully exaggerated copy of Undyne's stance. "It's our secret weapon! And you've got no hope of countering it—it's never failed to win!"
"Showing off a [secret technique]?!" Undyne repeated, grinning viciously. "Ha! I should've known! All humans have special named skills they use in fights! Martial arts, jutsu…you all have them! It must be how you won the war!"
"Of course it is!" JoJo declared.
In reality, he had no idea what she was going on about. She was probably one of those people who grew up on all the cartoons, and thought the world actually worked on the same rules.
Or maybe she was just crazy, period. It didn't really matter, did it?
"Alright, then…" JoJo stretched, then leaned forward, drew his arms tight to his sides, and gave Undyne a grin of his own. "You ready to see my secret technique?"
"YEAH!" Undyne roared back, not noticing how the crowd was currently split between cheering along with her or just laughing their asses off from the melodrama in front of them. "GO AHEAD AND TRY! I'LL SHOW YOU JUST HOW STRONG WE MONSTERS CAN BE!"
"THEN HERE IT COMES!"
"BRING IT ON!"
"NOW, I'M GOING TO…"
"COME AND GET ME!"
Joseph's grin widened, stretching across his entire face.
"RUN AWAAAAAAAAY!"
Immediately after saying that, JoJo turned tail and bolted as fast as he possibly could away from Undyne, his arms pumping and legs spinning into a blur of motion.
"YEEEEAAA---"
Undyne stopped mid cheer, gaping as the human sped away across town.
It took her brain a couple of seconds to catch up with what she had just witnessed. For a few moments, she stood there, mouth agape and eyes nearly popping out of her skull in disbelief.
Then, she regained her senses, roared, and lunged forwards in hot pursuit.