Pre-Story Notes:
So, for those of you unfamiliar with the term: a "friend insert" is very...
So, for those of you unfamiliar with the term: a "friend insert" is very...
Mistakes Were Made (Highschool DxD Friend Insert) (Adopted from Geoff_)
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Chapter 1: An Undignified Start
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
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- The space beyond the stars
Pre-Story Notes:
So, for those of you unfamiliar with the term: a "friend insert" is very similar to a "self insert," the difference being that the friend being inserted into the story has no foreknowledge about the setting at all, and is going in entirely blind, incapable of weaving together a plan to reach the golden ending ahead of time, so to speak. Simply put, think of it as a game of Dungeons and Dragons, with I being the DM, and Lucky & Baka being the poor PC.
So, obviously, this means that Luckychaos and BakaSmurf are completely unfamiliar with the DxD franchise, and considering that, I command that you place spoilers for Highschool DxD in spoiler boxes lest you completely ruin the point of this story and be thread-banned, please and thank you!
Incidentally; Lucky and Baka do read this thread and they ARE part of another FI: So, with that in mind; Posting Fate, Tokyo Ghoul, Arcanum or Muv/Luv spoilers in this thread will also get you thread-banned.
Also, I ain't omnipresent with DxD lore. This fic will follow events from the anime mostly, but y'all hit me up if you spot something that could be inconsistent, I'd appreciate it!
ADDENDUM: This story is an ADOPTED WORK. The first three chapters were NOT written by me, and are the work of fellow spacebattler Geoff_ . He is now gainfully employed (Lucky bastard...) and as such did not have the time needed to continue this story. I will attempt to live up the quality he's done so far. You can read the original thread HERE.
SUFFICIENT VELOCITY ADDENDUM: This is cross-posted from SpaceBattles, where Friend Inserts are an established thing, and have the backing (and approval) of the mods. Seeing as how this is newly moved to Sufficient Velocity, I can't actually promise threadbans just yet, but still, don't be a dickhead. Please put spoilers in spoiler boxes. Also yes, I am KingOfCrafters on Spacebattles, the adoptive writer of this story, I am not just some jackass stealing his work and posting it as my own.
===
Chapter 1 - An Undignified Start
===
He awoke with a daze, lifting a hand to his face with a groan as the warm sun shone ever so relentlessly in his face. Joe pushed himself up onto his rear, the individual blades of grass teasing his hands-
He blinked. Grass? The sun?
He'd went to sleep in his bed.
Immediately, Joe's mind went into overdrive, and he jumped to his feet, almost rolling forward off the hill as he over compensated for his balance.
He looked at the immediate sight ahead of him, what looked to be a track field, with students milling about in school uniforms… Looking further, a complex of buildings was visible off in the distance. Old school brick-and-mortar buildings… A school campus?
He raised an arm to rub his eyes in confusion, and he noticed that rather than the familiar olive drab of his combat jacket's sleeve, he saw a fine black, and a quick glance down showed that he was wearing one of those uniforms, which seemed to be rather fancy, he had to admit.
Shaking his head, he started glancing around, confusion and concern plain on his face, when two people stalked up, one bald and the other had glasses. A desperate look in both their plainly Japanese faces.
They came up close, took a look at each other solemnly as if confirming their plans.
Then jumped down on the grass, head bowed to the ground in perfect synchronization.
""Respectfully, we want you to be our friend!"" They both shouted in unison, a sense of heavy conviction tinged their voices.
"I'm Matsuda" The one with the bald head spoke.
"And I'm Motohama," The one with glasses completed.
He blinked in confusion, having no idea how to react to that on top of everything else that was suddenly going on.
In rapid, almost frantic ramblings, the pair hastily explained their dire situation.
"Kouh Academy used to be an all-girls school up until last year,"
"That's right, that's right." Nodded the other, bald head bobbing up and down.
"Which means there's almost no boys here." His glasses glinted as the boy talked.
"Yep, yep."
"So finding a girlfriend – no, a harem! – should have been a cakewalk!"
The other had started sniffling, tears leaking out of his eyes.
"But instead, it's spring and we're still single! Our entire year has been wasted! Our lives are being spent without boobs to fill them, we can only watch from afar as everyone else is living perfectly normal lives!"
"We're just not popular at all!" Cried the other one, snot and tears running fast and thick.
"So when we heard two foreigners transferred in, we knew you both would be super popular with the girls!"
"Transfer students! Foreigners! It's a chick magnet!"
"So please, respectfully, be our friend so we can mooch off some of your popularity and get girlfriends!"
"There's more than enough babes at this school to share!"
"We'll be your loyal partners!"
"No- we'll be your minions!"
""Just give us a chance!"" They both heartfully blurt out together.
They fell silent, not daring to utter anything else. Hope gleaming in their eyes, staring upwards from the grassy ground.
"...What the fuck…?" Joe murmured, not sure whether it was pity or disgust he was feeling, which only added to the confusing mess in his head at that moment.
"Does that mean you'll take us under your wing?!" The bald one barked out.
"He didn't say no, that means yes right?!" His accomplice continued after.
"Maybe it's foreigner for yes?"
"Has to be. Yep."
"...I'm leaving, please don't follow me." Joe stated as he immediately started down the hill, away from the two weirdos who were very loudly and embarrassingly proclaiming their dismay over not having yet touched a breast.
They chased after him without a second thought, throwing themselves at his pant legs.
"Please! You have to help us!"
"You're the only one that can!"
"What the actual fuck!?" Joe cried out in surprise, attempting to shake the two off of his pant leg. "Get the hell off of me you creeps!"
As if everything wasn't all confusing and fucked up enough as it was!
Some of the students at the courtyard seemed to have noticed the scuffle happening, small shouts and pointing in the general direction. Suddenly, both boys instantly turned their heads to glance at something, in the same way a deer would turn on an unexpected sound. As if instinct had alerted both to their natural predator.
"It's… it's..." Matsuda stuttered, caught between disbelief and anger.
"Kiba Yuuto of class 2-C, He's an idol to all the girls in the school…" Motohama coldly stated, "…and the enemy of all boys, us included." Then he stood rigid. "Shit, he's noticed us." Motohama scowled, one hand on his glasses as if weighing his options. They both let go of Joe's pant legs, suddenly conflicted at the compromising appearance.
Matsuda exploded right then, "It's ridiculous how he's getting all the girls just because he's a little handsome, pretty, smart, and good-natured! That bastard!"
The moment they released him, Joe turned and started bolting down the hill away from the creeps that were harassing him. He had a temper and knew it, and didn't want to lose control of it at a pair of obvious teenagers… While running, Joe noted that he was wearing the same uniform as them…
And it clicked in his head.
"Aw shit…" He quietly groaned to himself as he bounded down the hill and into the dirt courtyard that lay below. "Am I a slider now…!?"
Some of the students were glancing at him from the side, quiet murmuring and idle gossip. None seemed to approach.
Glancing over his shoulder to see if the two weirdos were following him, he stopped in his tracks and breathed a sigh of relief to see they had not.
"What a pair of bloody creeps…" Joe groaned aloud as he patted himself of dust once it was clear he wasn't going to be harangued by them any further.
They were instead running at full sprint in the direct opposite direction of the blond man casually walking down the hill. In Joe's direction.
A quick glance around confirmed that he was indeed seeking out Joe specifically, which he admittedly wasn't appreciative of considering he'd like a minute to at least try to figure out what in god's name was going on… Though this guy didn't seem like a total creep like those two had been, at least.
The man certainly had an air of confidence and reliability to him, along with an easy going smile. Most of the few gossiping groups had shifted their attention towards the young man.
The young man seemed to be seeking out Joe with a purpose, so he shrugged and remained where he was standing to let the guy approach while he took advantage of the delay to compose himself and take stock of his situation.
"I see you've met some of our fellow classmates already," The blond haired young man spoke out with a playful smile. "I'm certainly happy you're making friends, but I hope you won't turn out like that pair. They're quite a handful already to the school." He chuckled, then reached out a hand.
"Kiba Yuuto, class 2-C. Pleased to meet you. How was your first day at the academy? Not too overwhelming I hope!"
Joe paused before replying. "Joseph Pholus… Nice to meet you." He stated as he took Yuuto's hand. "And I wouldn't call those two friends, creeps as they are."
"They indeed have… quite the reputation around school. Sadly." Yuuto shook his head. "Anyhow, how are you and your friend settling in?"
Joe blinked in surprise. "...My friend?"
"Oh, I'm sorry! Since you're both foreigners I assumed you'd known each other previously. On hindsight, that was a bit presumptuous of me." He spoke quickly with a small polite bow and a genuine concern in his voice.
"Uh, no worries man." Joe waved the guy's concern off as the confusion of everything going on only compounded further. "I uh…" He blinked, looking around again. "Honestly… Am kind of confused…?"
Yuuto smiled brilliantly at that, "I'd love nothing more than to help you get adjusted to the school here, it must have been a large jump for you both. If you'd like any details on the academy, where buildings are, please don't hesitate to ask! The school can be quite confusing until you memorize the layout."
Convenient.
"Well, then, if it's no great imposition, a quick tour would be appreciated, if you don't mind." Joe stated with a wary grin and a small bow, monkey see, monkey do.
"Certainly not, my club members would understand if I came in late. Let me show you around campus, Pholus."
The tour initially comprised of the girl's dorm from afar, the boy's dorm, the new school house and the plus-sized gym.
Luckily, he found a keycard in his wallet while patting himself down for whatever he might have, which was numbered and likely corresponded to 'his' room, such as it was.
While walking, Yuuto continued his explanation of the school.
"And here's the old school house. It's not used to teach anymore since the new schoolhouse was built. However, the occult club uses the premise to host their activities. Ah, I can see the president from here actually." He spoke, pointing at a window by the building.
Following the blonde guy's gesture, Joe noticed a woman with striking crimson hair looking down at them from a window on the second floor, a woman that… Looked… Awful… Familiar…
...Nah, it couldn't be-
Yuuto waved at the woman, watching her give a slight nod and disappear in the building. "Her name is Rias Gremory, perhaps you'll meet her someday. Behind the schoolhouse is a small forest reserve before the city. But that's all of interest in this part, so most students don't come here naturally."
Yuuto turned and walked back down the path.
Joe, meanwhile, remained rooted in place as his anus tightened hard enough to cut the end off a cigar. Highschool DxD. That shitty harem anime he'd dropped a few episodes in and completely forgotten about...
Of all the things to remember nothing about…
"Well, fuck my life..." Joe breathed to himself as he set off after Yuuto, his steps a fair bit more shaky than they had been before.
---
"Mmf," Trevor grunted, lazily shifting under the bedsheets as he tried to get his eyes out of the sunlight. He could've sworn he'd closed the curtains before hitting the sack last night, but…
His eyelids fluttered open. Huh, he thought slowly. My bed's not this close to the… ceiling…
Then his eyes bulged, suddenly fully awake as he realized he wasn't in his room.
"What." Trevor turned on the bed, which turned out was actually a bunk bed. "The." He was in a small dorm room straight out of college. Even weirder, stuff from his actual room were dropped here or there, like a Godzilla poster, an old globe, and the empty bottle of Kraken rum he'd been gifted for this twenty-first birthday. "Fuck."
Still laying down, Trevor slapped himself. Nothing changed. He pinched himself several times. Nope, still nothing.
"Ooookay," he drawled, slowly sitting up in his bed. "I… This has to be some kind of dream, right?" He looked around the room more. "This doesn't look at all like my old dorm in Greene Hall though…"
He was pretty sure he hadn't blacked out last night. Sure, he'd drank quite a bit, but that was at his home. Certainly nowhere near a college where he would've somehow ended up in a dorm and for whatever reason bring random items from his room along with.
His grip on the bed sheets tightened briefly before he swung them off. One glance confirmed he was just in boxers that were actually his, so that was something he supposed. Slowly, he clambered out of the top bunk and cautiously stepped around the room. There were some clothes in a drawer that looked like his… as well as a fancy suit. One that looked nothing like his actual suit.
"But why is my shit in here in the first place?" Trevor wondered aloud, scratching his hair furiously. There was a pair of glasses on the desk, which he grasped with shaky hands and put on as a test. "... Yup, these are my glasses," he sighed. "What the frocking fuck is going on here?"
A rattling on the door handle jolted him from his thoughts. His heart leapt, and for some reason he felt a sliver of fear. What the hell was happening?
"Uh, uh, hang on!" Trevor rambled, frantically fumbling for the first shirt he could grab. Of all the things it could've been, it was his black shirt that read "Kawaii in the Streets, Senpai in the Sheets." Deciding he had no time to think about it, he hastily threw it on and walked over to the door. "Fuckin'... Coming!"
He then unlocked the door and swung it open to see…
Trevor blinked.
Joe blinked.
"Uh…" Trevor slowly started. "... Hi?"
Joe blinked again, this time as recognition started setting in at the sight of the distinctive face before him. "...Lucky?"
Trevor stepped back, jaw dropping.
"Okay, what the fuck," he rambled. "That's… how the fuck do you know that name?!"
Joe blinked again, rather taken aback by the sudden development. "Uh… I'm not one for conversation...?" He tested, knowing that if this guy was who he thought it was, he'd recognize the reference immediately.
"Oh sweet baby Jesus," Trevor gasped. "No way… Baka? Or, uh, Joe?!"
The two were silent for a moment, as Joe processed the sudden appearance of one of his fellow shitty self-insert Spacebattles writers.
"Well..." Joe started with as he inserted his door key card back into his pocket. "Doc, Fission and Alley wouldn't happen to be in there with you, would they?" He asked, half-honestly he had to admit at this point.
"Uh… No, no, not that I've seen," Trevor answered slowly, looking back into the room and gesturing for Joe to step inside. "Some of my shit from… home… is here, though. And I'm gonna bet some of your shit is here, too."
Joe stepped into the room that he was seemingly sharing with Trev, and noticed that indeed, his computer and some video game posters, mostly fantasy maps were hanging from the spots on the wall that weren't occupied by what he'd assumed was the smaller guy's stuff.
"...The plot thickens…" Joe sighed as he reached up to scratch his goatee. "...So, uh, you just woke up here, I take it?"
"Yup," Trevor confirmed, scratching the back of his head as he looked over the room. "Fuckin' weird, man… I got no clue what's going on. I guess we're roommates now? This whole setup feels like a college dorm, to be honest."
Joe sighed. "Well, I got good news and bad news." He started as he glanced out the large window on the wall of their dorm. "I know where we are, an anime called Highschool DxD. That was the good news. The bad news is that I remember absolutely nothing about the few episodes I watched before I dropped it…"
Trevor frowned. "Highschool DxD?" he echoed, hairy brows furrowing. "All I remember about that is someone calling it "The McDonald's of Anime." Which… if true, uh, doesn't exactly bode well. And, hold up, how do you know we're in a Chinese cartoon anyway?"
"Rias Gremory. The main girl of the show. Extremely distinctive design, and notable name. Saw her, and was told her name." Joe facepalmed. "...Y'know, I know we both wrote shitty self-insert fanfiction, but…"
His bearded comrade in suffering grimaced. "... It's another thing entirely for shit like this to actually happen," Trevor groaned, before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you at least know what kind of genre this is supposed to be? Because, like, seventy-percent of all anime is set in high school."
"Battle harem." Joe stated with a thousand yard stare out the window.
"Jesus Christ, how horrifying," Trevor breathed, matching Joe's stare with his own. "Shit!" he cursed. "Any chance we can just, I dunno, steer clear of the invincible main character so we don't get caught up in his shit?"
Joe's brows scrunched in thought, and he had a horrible realization.
"...I… Just realised I woke up in a terribly similar situation to the main character's, Issei… And was led around the school by a blonde-haired blue-eyed bishie Japanese guy, and was indirectly introduced to the main girl...:" The thousand-yard stare turned into pure horror.
"Which means either you're the main character and I'm along for the ride," Trevor concluded, a pained expression on his face. "Or, considering we're both here, we both might be sharing this burden. … What the fuck, man."
"Issei got murdered by an evil angel in the first episode…" Joe stated robotically.
"Oh god no," Trevor whined, palming his face.
"Fuck my life." Joe stated as he buried his face in his palms.
"... I'm gonna guess that some bullshit happened that revived him, considering, you know, plot and all that shit," Trevor sighed.
"Yeah… By Rias, I think?" Joe grimaced. "Of all the fucking Chinese cartoons to be dropped into, it just had to be the one I stopped watching because of how dumb it was!"
"Who could have foreseen such tragedy," Trevor drawled, shaking his head. "Okay, so, we're trapped in anime-land, may or may not be at the center of what will undoubtedly be bullshit harems and power levels that will quickly lose all meaning." He then looked Joe in the eyes. "Guess you and I are stuck in this fever dream until we fuck up so hard we die for real, boyo."
"A regular army of two standing against the world…" Joe slumped where he stood with a deep sigh. "...By the way, evidence suggests that we're high school students again. Seventeen in my case, going off of the ID card in my wallet."
"Shit, I probably got stuff like that, too," Trevor said, fumbling around his desk. "Yup, ID card, syllabus, agenda…" He frowned. "Looks like today was the first day of school, going off what it says here. Which, of course, neither of us remember."
"Of course, that'd have made things too easy!" Joe threw his hands up in the air, and noticed the clock hanging on the wall. "4:15 PM. Yup, missed the first day of school. I don't know which ROB dumped us into this situation, but he's an asshole."
"Yeah, well, ROB's a lazy plot device anyway, so fuck him," Trevor rolled his eyes. "So… uh, what do you want to do?"
"...I guess, for now, maybe we ought to explore a bit? I dunno, if I've actually replaced Issei, the plot's already gone off the rails because I'm not going to agree to go on a date with the first random pretty girl that approaches me entirely at random, so we're probably safe from that happening." Joe stated warily as he turned from the window to face Trev.
He glanced down at his shirt, and grinned. "Nice shirt. Very relevant."
Despite the situation, Trevor snorted. "Isn't it, though?" he asked with a shrug, then looked over the suit in the closet. "Even if it's a goofy shirt, I'd rather wear this around then a stuffy uniform all day. But I'm gonna guess it wouldn't be gucci if I wasn't wearing my uniform, huh?"
Joe shrugged. "Might be wise to at least wear the blazer and pants, I've got the blazer open and not wearing the… Necktie thing, and I didn't get any shit for it as far as I noticed."
"Cool, then I'll just wear the blazer and pants but keep the shirt on," Trevor nodded, moving to get dressed.
---
"And that's the occult club building, used to be the old school house. And that's the window I saw Rias in." Joe gestured towards the now closed window.
"Neat," Trevor responded, looking the building up and down. An old European-style schoolhouse was what first came to mind, what with the clock tower atop it and all that. "So if we go in there, are we gonna get, like, jumped or something?"
"Considering Rias is the heroine, probably not." Joe stated. "I'm sure it'll get us wrapped up in the plot, though…"
"Great," Trevor sighed. "So, I know we won't be able to rely on your foreknowledge for very long, but, honestly, what are our chances of avoiding getting attacked by an angel? Because we might have to actually get involved, but if we could avoid the dying part that'd be great."
Joe sighed deeply. "...Yeah, I'm not one for believing in God or any of that, though… This whole situation seems pretty damned purposeful to me. So I'm willing to guess something of great power wanted us to get involved with all this…"
"Well, I would hope this isn't actually random," Trevor groaned. "But if there was any chance we could avoid that, or at least fight it…" he trailed off, feeling his stomach growl. "... We should probably get food and figure out how we're gonna survive this shit over dinner."
"As long as it's not McDonald's. McDonald's makes me sick." Joe asserted as the two started moving towards what they figured was the entrance to the school grounds, occasionally being spared a curious glance by the locals.
In a moment, they'd passed the school entrance, only to be ambushed by a small gaggle of schoolgirls.
"Hi! Are you the two new transfer students?" asked one of the girls, one from a group of four. And once Trevor and Joe got a close look at them, boy howdy did they have stacked figures. Like, they were gorgeous and had stunning bodies that most women would be utterly envious of.
"Uh… yeah, I guess so," Trevor answered cautiously, shooting Joe a glance. "I'm Trevor, and this is my friend, Joe. Nice to meet you."
Joe politely nodded, but otherwise didn't speak up himself, hoping to get to somewhere they could think on things sooner rather than later… He felt like he recognized the girl, then remembered that she was probably one of Issei's haremettes if he was remembering correctly.
The girl gave a short bow, "It's nice to meet you too, my name is Amano Yuma! Please call me Yuma. The student council sent me to help you around town, see the sights and… and… well, you know!"
The girls behind her giggled, while she turned and shoo'd them away for a moment. "Moooo~ you guys, stop it!" she turned back, "It's a little embarrassing, but can't be helped. You two are new and someone has to show you around!"
"Uh, well, it's a pleasure to meet you." Joe stated with a subdued smile, noting that he had an inkling of recognition upon seeing the girl right before she cut him off. She seemed to have taken their hesitation as… something else.
"O-O-Of course it's not a date or anything, we'll be going with my friends! So please, don't get any w-wrong ideas or anything." She frantically stated, while the other three simply giggled louder.
And like any good harem show, the very idea of a date is enough to throw people into a fit, Trevor thought while suppressing a roll of his eyes. "You said it was official business, so neither of us got the impression of a date," he said aloud. She let out a sigh of relief at that. "I don't have any issues figuring out the lay of land with your help. You, Joe?"
Suppressing a sigh at the misunderstanding, Joe tried smiling a little wider to put them at ease. "Like I was saying, any help would be appreciated if it's no great imposition."
Yuma gave a beaming smile, "Sayako and I will be more than happy to show you around town then! Let's exchange mail, and we can set something up for tomorrow after school, maybe?"
Another girl took a step forward, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly. "Well… I suppose I volunteered for this. Ok!"
"Wait, we're not going to do this now?" Trevor asked, a little surprised. "'Cause Joe and I planned on actually leaving the grounds right now."
The girls looked at each other, in contemplation. "Well, I suppose I've got the time to help out right now, Sayako could you come too?" Yuma asked.
The other girl gave a quick meep, then shook her head, "I've got club practice after this, only tomorrow's free. Go on ahead, they don't seem that scary, you'll be fine, Yuma."
"O-ok." The turned and bowed quickly to Joe and Trev. "I'll be in your care then."
Giggity. Joe instinctively thought with a smirk.
The other three waved back at Yuma, "Bai bai Yuma!"
"Take care! Sorry I couldn't come!"
"Tell us about it tomorrow!"
Leaving the dynamic duo alone with Yuma. "Well," she started, "The town has a few attractions that are nice, but you were looking for food, probably?"
"Food would be gucci, yes," Trevor confirmed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm gonna sound super-foreigner right now, but I'm really hankering for something greasy right about now."
"Hmm, I think there's an American-style steakhouse nearby, would that do?" Yuma said with a questioning tilt of her head.
"I'm fine with whatever you two settle on." Joe stated with a shrug.
"Steakhouse it is, then," Trevor nodded. "Lead the way, Yuma."
---
"That was a lot of fun!" Yuma cheerfully said, skipping over to the fountain in the park. "You two are surprisingly bad at arcades, it was cute!"
"I'm better at computer games," Trevor sighed. I'd also probably play better if I didn't have to worry about being in goddamn anime-land the whole time.
Joe had actually managed to relax a bit after getting to play in those arcade machines, they were just as fun as he'd always imagined them, it was actually rather nice… He then glanced around the area, noting that the fountain Yuma had led them to was rather picturesque in the light of the setting sun-
He blinked, as suddenly he realised he recognized the area, and it was complete devoid of people-
"Say, could you two do me a favor?" Yuma asked whimsically, scooting forward.
His pupils contracted, and immediately he recognized who the girl actually was, and realised, he'd fucked up.
Joe immediately reached over, grabbed Trevor by the arm and whipped him around, in the direction away from Yuma. "RUN!!!" He shouted as loud and hard as he could before taking off after him.
"Oh, that's interesting." Yuma said. "I've never had any human feel my intentions like that. How did you find out?"
"FUCK OFF DON'T KILL US!" Trevor screamed, bolting as fast he could with Joe.
"Well, I do like it when they struggle. It's no fun otherwise, even if it's only humans. But how did you know? I perfectly puppeteered those girls, so that's not it. Could they have a sense of magic? No, I'd notice. Location maybe? It's a perfectly normal park though..." Yuma shrugged whimsically watching the two run. Then a lance of malevolent red light appeared in her hand, and she tossed it with pinpoint accuracy. Directly through Trevor's calf, effectively putting a painful stop to his step.
Trevor screamed in pain, stumbling to the ground and clutching his leg.
"Well, would you leave you dear friend to his fate, Joe?" Yuma strutted forward towards her victim, slowly catching up to Trevor's downed body with a spider like ease.
Joe stopped dead in his tracks, spun and instinctively grabbed the crimson spear jutting out of his friend's calf. Surprisingly, it didn't burn, more so it was… Almost humming in his hands. "Keep going!" Joe shouted as he ripped the spear out of the bearded man's calf and moved to brandish it at the evil angel- at which point it faded from his hands, shrinking and scattering. "Oh, fuck…"
With no other options, he raised his hands into a fighting stance in what he knew was a futile gesture.
"It fuckin' hurts, dude," Trevor hissed. "I can't run like this!"
"Then fucking drag yourself away-" Joe shouted back as he tried to fall into a proper fighting stance.
"How about no?" Yuma casually cut through, "I'd like to talk some more, you two were such great company after all." Another spear launched forward and struck Joe through his calf, followed quickly by a second to the other leg, eliciting a scream of pain from the larger man as he was pinned standing in place. "Trying to use my own spears against me, really." She said with a tut. Two black wings rippled into existence from her back, and with one swift jump she'd reached the two within spitting distance.
"I was planning on making this painless you know, but I really must know - how did you find out abou-"
Joe's response was to throw a haymaker at her face once she was within arm's reach with a furious, instinctive snarl.
To his surprise, the girl clearly hadn't seen that coming and was staggered aside by his blow. The spears disappeared, causing him to lose his footing. "FUCKING HELL, GO YOU IDIOT!" Joe shouted back at Trevor, trying to force himself to his rapidly bloodying feet to press the attack.
"I'm not letting you be a martyr, piece of shit!" Trevor roared, managing to roughly grab Joe's shoulder. "Not until I kick your ass for fucking forgetting this!"
Yuma stood back on her feet, wiping a trail of blood from her lips. "I suppose I was careless playing with my food. Fine. It was fun being nice, it's time you humans learned your place."
Two spears materialized in her hands once again, and she tossed them both directly at Joe with a furious snarl.
Cursing all the while, Trevor pulled them both furiously to the ground before they could strike. The red spears smashed into the concrete, sending chunks of rubble flying around. The weapons quickly disappeared and then reignited in her hands.
"Can we kill it?" he desperately demanded, breathing going ragged.
"The one time I don't have a sword on me…!" Joe cursed as he immediately reached for a fist-sized chunk of concrete that had landed within arm's reach, a remnant of impacted road from the fallen angel's missed spears. Joe whipped it at her face as hard as he could, adrenaline dulling the pain lancing through his legs as the same instincts that saved him from a bear years ago screamed at him to fight back, no matter what.
Yuma closed one wing around her body, shielding her from the rock, which bounced off harmlessly off to her side. "Really, is that the best you can do?" She taunted back, a sinister grin spread across her face as an idea lit up in her mind. "Maybe I should motivate you some more?"
She dashed to the side, then leapt upwards into the air, a spear of red glowing light gripped tightly in her hands. Her eyes locked on Trevor with deadly intent. The bearded man glared at her, gritting his teeth upon seeing what was inevitably going to lead to his death. The sky had turned red, looking utterly demonic and distorted.
In light of that, even knowing that maybe he'd be revived, Trevor felt he was about to die against a monster completely beyond his and Joe's abilities. Joe was struggling 'valiantly' and all… but it was doing piss all against this thing.
He wasn't a praying man… but he was praying right now that Joe had been right about how this ends.
So he raised a middle finger at Yuma and said, "I hope you choke on my bones, you piece of shit."
Forcing himself to a knee, Joe repeated the gesture in kind, combining his middle finger with a hand on his inner elbow. "Cowardly bitch....!" He choked out through the pain of his ruined calves.
Yuma calmly tossed a spear directly into Trevor, stabbing him through the heart and knocking him backwards. "Sorry, but your existence poses a threat to us. Don't blame me," She said lightly, "Blame God for planting a sacred gear inside your body."
Trevor was regretting just about everything right then as the mind-shattering pain overloaded his senses. And then, he felt nothing. Cold.
"As for you," Yuma declared at Joe, "You're going to tell me how you found me out. Do that and I'll make it painless." She floated down, hovering just above and out of reach. "Unless there's still more in you? I did just murder your friend after all, hmm, truly sorry about that." She chuckled, her smirk deepened.
Joe's response, however futile and pointless he knew it was, was to grab another chunk of concrete and throw it at her while hurling every nasty word he knew and flipping her the bird with his free hand all the while.
"I tire of this, Joe. Tell me what I want to know now. The time for innocent playing is done!" She shrieked, blocking rocks with her wingbeat with disdain. The next moment, two lances were flung from her hands dexterously. They flew with unholy accuracy and punched through Joe's arms, tossing him down on the ground, pinned like a bug.
He should have felt pain, but blind rage had long since taken over, and he was no longer thinking rationally as the Fallen Angel wasted her time attempting to extract information from a snarling wreck.
After a moment, the fallen angel stopped, tilting her head to the side. Then tutted angrily, "What are they doing here?" She muttered. The deadly woman turned her eyes on Joe. "Fine, I suppose I'm out of time. Die with your secrets then. You can have this petty victory at the least." She growled, launching a red spear and impaling the man through his heart.
Then, with a flutter of black feathers, the angel threw herself into the air and vanished, leaving the two alone with their dying thoughts and black feathers.
========================================================
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theater:
On names:
Baka: Call me P, no P-daddy.
Lucky: Please don't. You know if I wanted to give you shit I'd call you P-daddy. "Hey girls, have you met P-daddy? He loves being called P-daddy."
Baka: Oh god I was joking please don't!
On starting the park scene:
Baka: Wait something about this scene strikes me as… OH SHIT!
OH SHIT!
OH SHIT!
I'm sorry Trev, I fucked up!
========================================================
So, for those of you unfamiliar with the term: a "friend insert" is very similar to a "self insert," the difference being that the friend being inserted into the story has no foreknowledge about the setting at all, and is going in entirely blind, incapable of weaving together a plan to reach the golden ending ahead of time, so to speak. Simply put, think of it as a game of Dungeons and Dragons, with I being the DM, and Lucky & Baka being the poor PC.
So, obviously, this means that Luckychaos and BakaSmurf are completely unfamiliar with the DxD franchise, and considering that, I command that you place spoilers for Highschool DxD in spoiler boxes lest you completely ruin the point of this story and be thread-banned, please and thank you!
Incidentally; Lucky and Baka do read this thread and they ARE part of another FI: So, with that in mind; Posting Fate, Tokyo Ghoul, Arcanum or Muv/Luv spoilers in this thread will also get you thread-banned.
Also, I ain't omnipresent with DxD lore. This fic will follow events from the anime mostly, but y'all hit me up if you spot something that could be inconsistent, I'd appreciate it!
ADDENDUM: This story is an ADOPTED WORK. The first three chapters were NOT written by me, and are the work of fellow spacebattler Geoff_ . He is now gainfully employed (Lucky bastard...) and as such did not have the time needed to continue this story. I will attempt to live up the quality he's done so far. You can read the original thread HERE.
SUFFICIENT VELOCITY ADDENDUM: This is cross-posted from SpaceBattles, where Friend Inserts are an established thing, and have the backing (and approval) of the mods. Seeing as how this is newly moved to Sufficient Velocity, I can't actually promise threadbans just yet, but still, don't be a dickhead. Please put spoilers in spoiler boxes. Also yes, I am KingOfCrafters on Spacebattles, the adoptive writer of this story, I am not just some jackass stealing his work and posting it as my own.
===
Chapter 1 - An Undignified Start
===
He awoke with a daze, lifting a hand to his face with a groan as the warm sun shone ever so relentlessly in his face. Joe pushed himself up onto his rear, the individual blades of grass teasing his hands-
He blinked. Grass? The sun?
He'd went to sleep in his bed.
Immediately, Joe's mind went into overdrive, and he jumped to his feet, almost rolling forward off the hill as he over compensated for his balance.
He looked at the immediate sight ahead of him, what looked to be a track field, with students milling about in school uniforms… Looking further, a complex of buildings was visible off in the distance. Old school brick-and-mortar buildings… A school campus?
He raised an arm to rub his eyes in confusion, and he noticed that rather than the familiar olive drab of his combat jacket's sleeve, he saw a fine black, and a quick glance down showed that he was wearing one of those uniforms, which seemed to be rather fancy, he had to admit.
Shaking his head, he started glancing around, confusion and concern plain on his face, when two people stalked up, one bald and the other had glasses. A desperate look in both their plainly Japanese faces.
They came up close, took a look at each other solemnly as if confirming their plans.
Then jumped down on the grass, head bowed to the ground in perfect synchronization.
""Respectfully, we want you to be our friend!"" They both shouted in unison, a sense of heavy conviction tinged their voices.
"I'm Matsuda" The one with the bald head spoke.
"And I'm Motohama," The one with glasses completed.
He blinked in confusion, having no idea how to react to that on top of everything else that was suddenly going on.
In rapid, almost frantic ramblings, the pair hastily explained their dire situation.
"Kouh Academy used to be an all-girls school up until last year,"
"That's right, that's right." Nodded the other, bald head bobbing up and down.
"Which means there's almost no boys here." His glasses glinted as the boy talked.
"Yep, yep."
"So finding a girlfriend – no, a harem! – should have been a cakewalk!"
The other had started sniffling, tears leaking out of his eyes.
"But instead, it's spring and we're still single! Our entire year has been wasted! Our lives are being spent without boobs to fill them, we can only watch from afar as everyone else is living perfectly normal lives!"
"We're just not popular at all!" Cried the other one, snot and tears running fast and thick.
"So when we heard two foreigners transferred in, we knew you both would be super popular with the girls!"
"Transfer students! Foreigners! It's a chick magnet!"
"So please, respectfully, be our friend so we can mooch off some of your popularity and get girlfriends!"
"There's more than enough babes at this school to share!"
"We'll be your loyal partners!"
"No- we'll be your minions!"
""Just give us a chance!"" They both heartfully blurt out together.
They fell silent, not daring to utter anything else. Hope gleaming in their eyes, staring upwards from the grassy ground.
"...What the fuck…?" Joe murmured, not sure whether it was pity or disgust he was feeling, which only added to the confusing mess in his head at that moment.
"Does that mean you'll take us under your wing?!" The bald one barked out.
"He didn't say no, that means yes right?!" His accomplice continued after.
"Maybe it's foreigner for yes?"
"Has to be. Yep."
"...I'm leaving, please don't follow me." Joe stated as he immediately started down the hill, away from the two weirdos who were very loudly and embarrassingly proclaiming their dismay over not having yet touched a breast.
They chased after him without a second thought, throwing themselves at his pant legs.
"Please! You have to help us!"
"You're the only one that can!"
"What the actual fuck!?" Joe cried out in surprise, attempting to shake the two off of his pant leg. "Get the hell off of me you creeps!"
As if everything wasn't all confusing and fucked up enough as it was!
Some of the students at the courtyard seemed to have noticed the scuffle happening, small shouts and pointing in the general direction. Suddenly, both boys instantly turned their heads to glance at something, in the same way a deer would turn on an unexpected sound. As if instinct had alerted both to their natural predator.
"It's… it's..." Matsuda stuttered, caught between disbelief and anger.
"Kiba Yuuto of class 2-C, He's an idol to all the girls in the school…" Motohama coldly stated, "…and the enemy of all boys, us included." Then he stood rigid. "Shit, he's noticed us." Motohama scowled, one hand on his glasses as if weighing his options. They both let go of Joe's pant legs, suddenly conflicted at the compromising appearance.
Matsuda exploded right then, "It's ridiculous how he's getting all the girls just because he's a little handsome, pretty, smart, and good-natured! That bastard!"
The moment they released him, Joe turned and started bolting down the hill away from the creeps that were harassing him. He had a temper and knew it, and didn't want to lose control of it at a pair of obvious teenagers… While running, Joe noted that he was wearing the same uniform as them…
And it clicked in his head.
"Aw shit…" He quietly groaned to himself as he bounded down the hill and into the dirt courtyard that lay below. "Am I a slider now…!?"
Some of the students were glancing at him from the side, quiet murmuring and idle gossip. None seemed to approach.
Glancing over his shoulder to see if the two weirdos were following him, he stopped in his tracks and breathed a sigh of relief to see they had not.
"What a pair of bloody creeps…" Joe groaned aloud as he patted himself of dust once it was clear he wasn't going to be harangued by them any further.
They were instead running at full sprint in the direct opposite direction of the blond man casually walking down the hill. In Joe's direction.
A quick glance around confirmed that he was indeed seeking out Joe specifically, which he admittedly wasn't appreciative of considering he'd like a minute to at least try to figure out what in god's name was going on… Though this guy didn't seem like a total creep like those two had been, at least.
The man certainly had an air of confidence and reliability to him, along with an easy going smile. Most of the few gossiping groups had shifted their attention towards the young man.
The young man seemed to be seeking out Joe with a purpose, so he shrugged and remained where he was standing to let the guy approach while he took advantage of the delay to compose himself and take stock of his situation.
"I see you've met some of our fellow classmates already," The blond haired young man spoke out with a playful smile. "I'm certainly happy you're making friends, but I hope you won't turn out like that pair. They're quite a handful already to the school." He chuckled, then reached out a hand.
"Kiba Yuuto, class 2-C. Pleased to meet you. How was your first day at the academy? Not too overwhelming I hope!"
Joe paused before replying. "Joseph Pholus… Nice to meet you." He stated as he took Yuuto's hand. "And I wouldn't call those two friends, creeps as they are."
"They indeed have… quite the reputation around school. Sadly." Yuuto shook his head. "Anyhow, how are you and your friend settling in?"
Joe blinked in surprise. "...My friend?"
"Oh, I'm sorry! Since you're both foreigners I assumed you'd known each other previously. On hindsight, that was a bit presumptuous of me." He spoke quickly with a small polite bow and a genuine concern in his voice.
"Uh, no worries man." Joe waved the guy's concern off as the confusion of everything going on only compounded further. "I uh…" He blinked, looking around again. "Honestly… Am kind of confused…?"
Yuuto smiled brilliantly at that, "I'd love nothing more than to help you get adjusted to the school here, it must have been a large jump for you both. If you'd like any details on the academy, where buildings are, please don't hesitate to ask! The school can be quite confusing until you memorize the layout."
Convenient.
"Well, then, if it's no great imposition, a quick tour would be appreciated, if you don't mind." Joe stated with a wary grin and a small bow, monkey see, monkey do.
"Certainly not, my club members would understand if I came in late. Let me show you around campus, Pholus."
The tour initially comprised of the girl's dorm from afar, the boy's dorm, the new school house and the plus-sized gym.
Luckily, he found a keycard in his wallet while patting himself down for whatever he might have, which was numbered and likely corresponded to 'his' room, such as it was.
While walking, Yuuto continued his explanation of the school.
"And here's the old school house. It's not used to teach anymore since the new schoolhouse was built. However, the occult club uses the premise to host their activities. Ah, I can see the president from here actually." He spoke, pointing at a window by the building.
Following the blonde guy's gesture, Joe noticed a woman with striking crimson hair looking down at them from a window on the second floor, a woman that… Looked… Awful… Familiar…
...Nah, it couldn't be-
Yuuto waved at the woman, watching her give a slight nod and disappear in the building. "Her name is Rias Gremory, perhaps you'll meet her someday. Behind the schoolhouse is a small forest reserve before the city. But that's all of interest in this part, so most students don't come here naturally."
Yuuto turned and walked back down the path.
Joe, meanwhile, remained rooted in place as his anus tightened hard enough to cut the end off a cigar. Highschool DxD. That shitty harem anime he'd dropped a few episodes in and completely forgotten about...
Of all the things to remember nothing about…
"Well, fuck my life..." Joe breathed to himself as he set off after Yuuto, his steps a fair bit more shaky than they had been before.
---
"Mmf," Trevor grunted, lazily shifting under the bedsheets as he tried to get his eyes out of the sunlight. He could've sworn he'd closed the curtains before hitting the sack last night, but…
His eyelids fluttered open. Huh, he thought slowly. My bed's not this close to the… ceiling…
Then his eyes bulged, suddenly fully awake as he realized he wasn't in his room.
"What." Trevor turned on the bed, which turned out was actually a bunk bed. "The." He was in a small dorm room straight out of college. Even weirder, stuff from his actual room were dropped here or there, like a Godzilla poster, an old globe, and the empty bottle of Kraken rum he'd been gifted for this twenty-first birthday. "Fuck."
Still laying down, Trevor slapped himself. Nothing changed. He pinched himself several times. Nope, still nothing.
"Ooookay," he drawled, slowly sitting up in his bed. "I… This has to be some kind of dream, right?" He looked around the room more. "This doesn't look at all like my old dorm in Greene Hall though…"
He was pretty sure he hadn't blacked out last night. Sure, he'd drank quite a bit, but that was at his home. Certainly nowhere near a college where he would've somehow ended up in a dorm and for whatever reason bring random items from his room along with.
His grip on the bed sheets tightened briefly before he swung them off. One glance confirmed he was just in boxers that were actually his, so that was something he supposed. Slowly, he clambered out of the top bunk and cautiously stepped around the room. There were some clothes in a drawer that looked like his… as well as a fancy suit. One that looked nothing like his actual suit.
"But why is my shit in here in the first place?" Trevor wondered aloud, scratching his hair furiously. There was a pair of glasses on the desk, which he grasped with shaky hands and put on as a test. "... Yup, these are my glasses," he sighed. "What the frocking fuck is going on here?"
A rattling on the door handle jolted him from his thoughts. His heart leapt, and for some reason he felt a sliver of fear. What the hell was happening?
"Uh, uh, hang on!" Trevor rambled, frantically fumbling for the first shirt he could grab. Of all the things it could've been, it was his black shirt that read "Kawaii in the Streets, Senpai in the Sheets." Deciding he had no time to think about it, he hastily threw it on and walked over to the door. "Fuckin'... Coming!"
He then unlocked the door and swung it open to see…
Trevor blinked.
Joe blinked.
"Uh…" Trevor slowly started. "... Hi?"
Joe blinked again, this time as recognition started setting in at the sight of the distinctive face before him. "...Lucky?"
Trevor stepped back, jaw dropping.
"Okay, what the fuck," he rambled. "That's… how the fuck do you know that name?!"
Joe blinked again, rather taken aback by the sudden development. "Uh… I'm not one for conversation...?" He tested, knowing that if this guy was who he thought it was, he'd recognize the reference immediately.
"Oh sweet baby Jesus," Trevor gasped. "No way… Baka? Or, uh, Joe?!"
The two were silent for a moment, as Joe processed the sudden appearance of one of his fellow shitty self-insert Spacebattles writers.
"Well..." Joe started with as he inserted his door key card back into his pocket. "Doc, Fission and Alley wouldn't happen to be in there with you, would they?" He asked, half-honestly he had to admit at this point.
"Uh… No, no, not that I've seen," Trevor answered slowly, looking back into the room and gesturing for Joe to step inside. "Some of my shit from… home… is here, though. And I'm gonna bet some of your shit is here, too."
Joe stepped into the room that he was seemingly sharing with Trev, and noticed that indeed, his computer and some video game posters, mostly fantasy maps were hanging from the spots on the wall that weren't occupied by what he'd assumed was the smaller guy's stuff.
"...The plot thickens…" Joe sighed as he reached up to scratch his goatee. "...So, uh, you just woke up here, I take it?"
"Yup," Trevor confirmed, scratching the back of his head as he looked over the room. "Fuckin' weird, man… I got no clue what's going on. I guess we're roommates now? This whole setup feels like a college dorm, to be honest."
Joe sighed. "Well, I got good news and bad news." He started as he glanced out the large window on the wall of their dorm. "I know where we are, an anime called Highschool DxD. That was the good news. The bad news is that I remember absolutely nothing about the few episodes I watched before I dropped it…"
Trevor frowned. "Highschool DxD?" he echoed, hairy brows furrowing. "All I remember about that is someone calling it "The McDonald's of Anime." Which… if true, uh, doesn't exactly bode well. And, hold up, how do you know we're in a Chinese cartoon anyway?"
"Rias Gremory. The main girl of the show. Extremely distinctive design, and notable name. Saw her, and was told her name." Joe facepalmed. "...Y'know, I know we both wrote shitty self-insert fanfiction, but…"
His bearded comrade in suffering grimaced. "... It's another thing entirely for shit like this to actually happen," Trevor groaned, before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you at least know what kind of genre this is supposed to be? Because, like, seventy-percent of all anime is set in high school."
"Battle harem." Joe stated with a thousand yard stare out the window.
"Jesus Christ, how horrifying," Trevor breathed, matching Joe's stare with his own. "Shit!" he cursed. "Any chance we can just, I dunno, steer clear of the invincible main character so we don't get caught up in his shit?"
Joe's brows scrunched in thought, and he had a horrible realization.
"...I… Just realised I woke up in a terribly similar situation to the main character's, Issei… And was led around the school by a blonde-haired blue-eyed bishie Japanese guy, and was indirectly introduced to the main girl...:" The thousand-yard stare turned into pure horror.
"Which means either you're the main character and I'm along for the ride," Trevor concluded, a pained expression on his face. "Or, considering we're both here, we both might be sharing this burden. … What the fuck, man."
"Issei got murdered by an evil angel in the first episode…" Joe stated robotically.
"Oh god no," Trevor whined, palming his face.
"Fuck my life." Joe stated as he buried his face in his palms.
"... I'm gonna guess that some bullshit happened that revived him, considering, you know, plot and all that shit," Trevor sighed.
"Yeah… By Rias, I think?" Joe grimaced. "Of all the fucking Chinese cartoons to be dropped into, it just had to be the one I stopped watching because of how dumb it was!"
"Who could have foreseen such tragedy," Trevor drawled, shaking his head. "Okay, so, we're trapped in anime-land, may or may not be at the center of what will undoubtedly be bullshit harems and power levels that will quickly lose all meaning." He then looked Joe in the eyes. "Guess you and I are stuck in this fever dream until we fuck up so hard we die for real, boyo."
"A regular army of two standing against the world…" Joe slumped where he stood with a deep sigh. "...By the way, evidence suggests that we're high school students again. Seventeen in my case, going off of the ID card in my wallet."
"Shit, I probably got stuff like that, too," Trevor said, fumbling around his desk. "Yup, ID card, syllabus, agenda…" He frowned. "Looks like today was the first day of school, going off what it says here. Which, of course, neither of us remember."
"Of course, that'd have made things too easy!" Joe threw his hands up in the air, and noticed the clock hanging on the wall. "4:15 PM. Yup, missed the first day of school. I don't know which ROB dumped us into this situation, but he's an asshole."
"Yeah, well, ROB's a lazy plot device anyway, so fuck him," Trevor rolled his eyes. "So… uh, what do you want to do?"
"...I guess, for now, maybe we ought to explore a bit? I dunno, if I've actually replaced Issei, the plot's already gone off the rails because I'm not going to agree to go on a date with the first random pretty girl that approaches me entirely at random, so we're probably safe from that happening." Joe stated warily as he turned from the window to face Trev.
He glanced down at his shirt, and grinned. "Nice shirt. Very relevant."
Despite the situation, Trevor snorted. "Isn't it, though?" he asked with a shrug, then looked over the suit in the closet. "Even if it's a goofy shirt, I'd rather wear this around then a stuffy uniform all day. But I'm gonna guess it wouldn't be gucci if I wasn't wearing my uniform, huh?"
Joe shrugged. "Might be wise to at least wear the blazer and pants, I've got the blazer open and not wearing the… Necktie thing, and I didn't get any shit for it as far as I noticed."
"Cool, then I'll just wear the blazer and pants but keep the shirt on," Trevor nodded, moving to get dressed.
---
"And that's the occult club building, used to be the old school house. And that's the window I saw Rias in." Joe gestured towards the now closed window.
"Neat," Trevor responded, looking the building up and down. An old European-style schoolhouse was what first came to mind, what with the clock tower atop it and all that. "So if we go in there, are we gonna get, like, jumped or something?"
"Considering Rias is the heroine, probably not." Joe stated. "I'm sure it'll get us wrapped up in the plot, though…"
"Great," Trevor sighed. "So, I know we won't be able to rely on your foreknowledge for very long, but, honestly, what are our chances of avoiding getting attacked by an angel? Because we might have to actually get involved, but if we could avoid the dying part that'd be great."
Joe sighed deeply. "...Yeah, I'm not one for believing in God or any of that, though… This whole situation seems pretty damned purposeful to me. So I'm willing to guess something of great power wanted us to get involved with all this…"
"Well, I would hope this isn't actually random," Trevor groaned. "But if there was any chance we could avoid that, or at least fight it…" he trailed off, feeling his stomach growl. "... We should probably get food and figure out how we're gonna survive this shit over dinner."
"As long as it's not McDonald's. McDonald's makes me sick." Joe asserted as the two started moving towards what they figured was the entrance to the school grounds, occasionally being spared a curious glance by the locals.
In a moment, they'd passed the school entrance, only to be ambushed by a small gaggle of schoolgirls.
"Hi! Are you the two new transfer students?" asked one of the girls, one from a group of four. And once Trevor and Joe got a close look at them, boy howdy did they have stacked figures. Like, they were gorgeous and had stunning bodies that most women would be utterly envious of.
"Uh… yeah, I guess so," Trevor answered cautiously, shooting Joe a glance. "I'm Trevor, and this is my friend, Joe. Nice to meet you."
Joe politely nodded, but otherwise didn't speak up himself, hoping to get to somewhere they could think on things sooner rather than later… He felt like he recognized the girl, then remembered that she was probably one of Issei's haremettes if he was remembering correctly.
The girl gave a short bow, "It's nice to meet you too, my name is Amano Yuma! Please call me Yuma. The student council sent me to help you around town, see the sights and… and… well, you know!"
The girls behind her giggled, while she turned and shoo'd them away for a moment. "Moooo~ you guys, stop it!" she turned back, "It's a little embarrassing, but can't be helped. You two are new and someone has to show you around!"
"Uh, well, it's a pleasure to meet you." Joe stated with a subdued smile, noting that he had an inkling of recognition upon seeing the girl right before she cut him off. She seemed to have taken their hesitation as… something else.
"O-O-Of course it's not a date or anything, we'll be going with my friends! So please, don't get any w-wrong ideas or anything." She frantically stated, while the other three simply giggled louder.
And like any good harem show, the very idea of a date is enough to throw people into a fit, Trevor thought while suppressing a roll of his eyes. "You said it was official business, so neither of us got the impression of a date," he said aloud. She let out a sigh of relief at that. "I don't have any issues figuring out the lay of land with your help. You, Joe?"
Suppressing a sigh at the misunderstanding, Joe tried smiling a little wider to put them at ease. "Like I was saying, any help would be appreciated if it's no great imposition."
Yuma gave a beaming smile, "Sayako and I will be more than happy to show you around town then! Let's exchange mail, and we can set something up for tomorrow after school, maybe?"
Another girl took a step forward, rubbing the back of her head awkwardly. "Well… I suppose I volunteered for this. Ok!"
"Wait, we're not going to do this now?" Trevor asked, a little surprised. "'Cause Joe and I planned on actually leaving the grounds right now."
The girls looked at each other, in contemplation. "Well, I suppose I've got the time to help out right now, Sayako could you come too?" Yuma asked.
The other girl gave a quick meep, then shook her head, "I've got club practice after this, only tomorrow's free. Go on ahead, they don't seem that scary, you'll be fine, Yuma."
"O-ok." The turned and bowed quickly to Joe and Trev. "I'll be in your care then."
Giggity. Joe instinctively thought with a smirk.
The other three waved back at Yuma, "Bai bai Yuma!"
"Take care! Sorry I couldn't come!"
"Tell us about it tomorrow!"
Leaving the dynamic duo alone with Yuma. "Well," she started, "The town has a few attractions that are nice, but you were looking for food, probably?"
"Food would be gucci, yes," Trevor confirmed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm gonna sound super-foreigner right now, but I'm really hankering for something greasy right about now."
"Hmm, I think there's an American-style steakhouse nearby, would that do?" Yuma said with a questioning tilt of her head.
"I'm fine with whatever you two settle on." Joe stated with a shrug.
"Steakhouse it is, then," Trevor nodded. "Lead the way, Yuma."
---
"That was a lot of fun!" Yuma cheerfully said, skipping over to the fountain in the park. "You two are surprisingly bad at arcades, it was cute!"
"I'm better at computer games," Trevor sighed. I'd also probably play better if I didn't have to worry about being in goddamn anime-land the whole time.
Joe had actually managed to relax a bit after getting to play in those arcade machines, they were just as fun as he'd always imagined them, it was actually rather nice… He then glanced around the area, noting that the fountain Yuma had led them to was rather picturesque in the light of the setting sun-
He blinked, as suddenly he realised he recognized the area, and it was complete devoid of people-
"Say, could you two do me a favor?" Yuma asked whimsically, scooting forward.
His pupils contracted, and immediately he recognized who the girl actually was, and realised, he'd fucked up.
Joe immediately reached over, grabbed Trevor by the arm and whipped him around, in the direction away from Yuma. "RUN!!!" He shouted as loud and hard as he could before taking off after him.
"Oh, that's interesting." Yuma said. "I've never had any human feel my intentions like that. How did you find out?"
"FUCK OFF DON'T KILL US!" Trevor screamed, bolting as fast he could with Joe.
"Well, I do like it when they struggle. It's no fun otherwise, even if it's only humans. But how did you know? I perfectly puppeteered those girls, so that's not it. Could they have a sense of magic? No, I'd notice. Location maybe? It's a perfectly normal park though..." Yuma shrugged whimsically watching the two run. Then a lance of malevolent red light appeared in her hand, and she tossed it with pinpoint accuracy. Directly through Trevor's calf, effectively putting a painful stop to his step.
Trevor screamed in pain, stumbling to the ground and clutching his leg.
"Well, would you leave you dear friend to his fate, Joe?" Yuma strutted forward towards her victim, slowly catching up to Trevor's downed body with a spider like ease.
Joe stopped dead in his tracks, spun and instinctively grabbed the crimson spear jutting out of his friend's calf. Surprisingly, it didn't burn, more so it was… Almost humming in his hands. "Keep going!" Joe shouted as he ripped the spear out of the bearded man's calf and moved to brandish it at the evil angel- at which point it faded from his hands, shrinking and scattering. "Oh, fuck…"
With no other options, he raised his hands into a fighting stance in what he knew was a futile gesture.
"It fuckin' hurts, dude," Trevor hissed. "I can't run like this!"
"Then fucking drag yourself away-" Joe shouted back as he tried to fall into a proper fighting stance.
"How about no?" Yuma casually cut through, "I'd like to talk some more, you two were such great company after all." Another spear launched forward and struck Joe through his calf, followed quickly by a second to the other leg, eliciting a scream of pain from the larger man as he was pinned standing in place. "Trying to use my own spears against me, really." She said with a tut. Two black wings rippled into existence from her back, and with one swift jump she'd reached the two within spitting distance.
"I was planning on making this painless you know, but I really must know - how did you find out abou-"
Joe's response was to throw a haymaker at her face once she was within arm's reach with a furious, instinctive snarl.
To his surprise, the girl clearly hadn't seen that coming and was staggered aside by his blow. The spears disappeared, causing him to lose his footing. "FUCKING HELL, GO YOU IDIOT!" Joe shouted back at Trevor, trying to force himself to his rapidly bloodying feet to press the attack.
"I'm not letting you be a martyr, piece of shit!" Trevor roared, managing to roughly grab Joe's shoulder. "Not until I kick your ass for fucking forgetting this!"
Yuma stood back on her feet, wiping a trail of blood from her lips. "I suppose I was careless playing with my food. Fine. It was fun being nice, it's time you humans learned your place."
Two spears materialized in her hands once again, and she tossed them both directly at Joe with a furious snarl.
Cursing all the while, Trevor pulled them both furiously to the ground before they could strike. The red spears smashed into the concrete, sending chunks of rubble flying around. The weapons quickly disappeared and then reignited in her hands.
"Can we kill it?" he desperately demanded, breathing going ragged.
"The one time I don't have a sword on me…!" Joe cursed as he immediately reached for a fist-sized chunk of concrete that had landed within arm's reach, a remnant of impacted road from the fallen angel's missed spears. Joe whipped it at her face as hard as he could, adrenaline dulling the pain lancing through his legs as the same instincts that saved him from a bear years ago screamed at him to fight back, no matter what.
Yuma closed one wing around her body, shielding her from the rock, which bounced off harmlessly off to her side. "Really, is that the best you can do?" She taunted back, a sinister grin spread across her face as an idea lit up in her mind. "Maybe I should motivate you some more?"
She dashed to the side, then leapt upwards into the air, a spear of red glowing light gripped tightly in her hands. Her eyes locked on Trevor with deadly intent. The bearded man glared at her, gritting his teeth upon seeing what was inevitably going to lead to his death. The sky had turned red, looking utterly demonic and distorted.
In light of that, even knowing that maybe he'd be revived, Trevor felt he was about to die against a monster completely beyond his and Joe's abilities. Joe was struggling 'valiantly' and all… but it was doing piss all against this thing.
He wasn't a praying man… but he was praying right now that Joe had been right about how this ends.
So he raised a middle finger at Yuma and said, "I hope you choke on my bones, you piece of shit."
Forcing himself to a knee, Joe repeated the gesture in kind, combining his middle finger with a hand on his inner elbow. "Cowardly bitch....!" He choked out through the pain of his ruined calves.
Yuma calmly tossed a spear directly into Trevor, stabbing him through the heart and knocking him backwards. "Sorry, but your existence poses a threat to us. Don't blame me," She said lightly, "Blame God for planting a sacred gear inside your body."
Trevor was regretting just about everything right then as the mind-shattering pain overloaded his senses. And then, he felt nothing. Cold.
"As for you," Yuma declared at Joe, "You're going to tell me how you found me out. Do that and I'll make it painless." She floated down, hovering just above and out of reach. "Unless there's still more in you? I did just murder your friend after all, hmm, truly sorry about that." She chuckled, her smirk deepened.
Joe's response, however futile and pointless he knew it was, was to grab another chunk of concrete and throw it at her while hurling every nasty word he knew and flipping her the bird with his free hand all the while.
"I tire of this, Joe. Tell me what I want to know now. The time for innocent playing is done!" She shrieked, blocking rocks with her wingbeat with disdain. The next moment, two lances were flung from her hands dexterously. They flew with unholy accuracy and punched through Joe's arms, tossing him down on the ground, pinned like a bug.
He should have felt pain, but blind rage had long since taken over, and he was no longer thinking rationally as the Fallen Angel wasted her time attempting to extract information from a snarling wreck.
After a moment, the fallen angel stopped, tilting her head to the side. Then tutted angrily, "What are they doing here?" She muttered. The deadly woman turned her eyes on Joe. "Fine, I suppose I'm out of time. Die with your secrets then. You can have this petty victory at the least." She growled, launching a red spear and impaling the man through his heart.
Then, with a flutter of black feathers, the angel threw herself into the air and vanished, leaving the two alone with their dying thoughts and black feathers.
========================================================
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theater:
On names:
Baka: Call me P, no P-daddy.
Lucky: Please don't. You know if I wanted to give you shit I'd call you P-daddy. "Hey girls, have you met P-daddy? He loves being called P-daddy."
Baka: Oh god I was joking please don't!
On starting the park scene:
Baka: Wait something about this scene strikes me as… OH SHIT!
OH SHIT!
OH SHIT!
I'm sorry Trev, I fucked up!
========================================================
Chapter 2: Try Again?
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
===
Chapter 02 - Try Again?
===
A voice echoed in both Joe and Trevor's fading minds.
"Do you wish to live?" It asked.
"YES, GOD DAMN IT!" Trevor screamed, even as blood fell from his mouth.
"Next time… Next time, you bitch…" Joe repeated to himself as he choked on his own blood, rapidly growing unaware of the world around him.
"Then, if you're dying anyhow, I'll take you. I'll grant your wish." The voice echoed. "And in exchange, you will devote your life to me."
Everything faded into black.
---
Trevor catapulted upward, screaming, and then smashed his head on something hard. Probably the ceiling. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" he spat, reeling back and clutching his head in pain. "WHY?!"
At the sound of a loud crash, Joe bolted up- and hit the top of his head on the top bunk. "Gah, fuck!" He cried out as he fell back onto the mattress. "Fuck my liiiife!" He wailed aloud, clutching his forehead.
"Gaaaaaaah," Trevor grumbled, rolling his bunk, and then with a start ripped off his sheets to look at his chest. It looked like he hadn't just been stabbed through the heart holy shit- "Joe! What the fuck, man?! I thought you knew!"
"I-!" Joe paused, and tried to remember what happened next…
And turned to look over at the other side of his bed.
He blinked. No Rias. "...Evidently remember even less about this fucking show than I thought…" He grimaced as he sat up in the bed and looked himself over, finding no injuries to speak of. "...Though if I'm remembering correctly, we aren't human anymore…" He groaned. "Fuck me man, we're going to the occult club, Rias will have been responsible for resurrecting us."
Trevor went silent at that, glowering at the ceiling for a few moments before ripping off his sheets and stomping down to the floor. He looked down at Joe. "Does it still hurt?" he asked.
"Just get it over and done with." Joe grimaced, presenting his face for the well-deserved strike he knew was coming.
A sharp inhale and exhale was what he received. Trevor glared at him, then shook his head. "You 'died', too, so that makes it more than even," he managed, turning away to get dressed. "Now you and I are gonna go to this shitty occult club, talk to this Rias chick who we totally made a deal with the devil for, and figure out what the fuck is going on in this shitty school."
"No arguments here, dude." Joe stated as he forced himself to his feet and started getting dressed, pushing the trauma of what occurred the previous night into the back of his mind where he could suppress it like a normal person. "Just… Keep in mind, Rias is… Actually very kind and considerate, from what I can recall."
There was a knocking on the door, and a muffled voice from the other side shouting, "Hey, hurry up you two, class is gonna start soon!"
"...We could skip it and go right for the club, but I can't recall if they also attend classes normally or not." Joe sighed as he threw his blazer on.
"We were murdered by a psychotic angel who referred to us as 'food'," Trevor stated. "I think whatever cute punishment this school has for skipping class is worth figuring this shit out."
The larger man shrugged. "Just saying, they might not actually be there until classes are out for the day, otherwise I agree with you."
"... I get what you're saying," Trevor allowed. "But like hell am I going to be able to sit in a high school classroom right now. Even if she doesn't show up until after class, I'd rather wait for her all day than go to class."
"Then we agree." Joe stated as he moved for the door, now fully dressed. "Let's get going then."
---
Trevor tried one more time to turn the doorknob with a grunt, then sighed as he let go.
"Guess the occult club locks their shit during class," he declared, stepping over to lean against the wall.
"We should probably wait somewhere a teacher won't see us until classes are done." Joe replied simply, his hand instinctively trying to grasp at the knife he didn't have at his side for comfort, considering the way they'd been attacked last night as he scanned the surrounding woods for… Anything.
---
It wasn't until school finally ended that someone approached the occult club building. They'd taken shifts going to the toilet, vending machine, and other misc affairs before they finally spotted someone coming in their direction. She walked over with a light gait, a smile on her face.
"Ara, ara, you're quite early~" She said in a musical voice, "Perhaps you were waiting for me?" That time in a mischievous voice. "Or, might you be lost? ~♫"
"Waiting for you, miss." Joe stated as he pushed himself off the tree trunk, making a valiant effort to ignore her attention grabbing... Assets. "Or for Rias Gremory, to be more accurate… Regarding our new pact with her."
Her eyes narrowed at that, brows half quirked in disbelief before she quickly schooled her expression. The girl tilted her head to the side, with a small fake gasp, covered only by her hand. "Oh my, Oh my, you two are quite quick. I wonder how you knew?"
"We kinda both decided continuing to be in the dark about this would be far worse," Trevor replied. Good God was her rack enormous. Like, back-breakingly enormous. "Considering, y'know, that apparently people want us dead for vague reasons."
"Well well, the dark is quite a lovely place for our kind, you know? ~♪" She smiled lightly, "But I suppose this is fine too. Well, would you like to come inside then? Ufufufu~"
"Yes, please." Joe replied with a weary, but genuine smile. He recalled that Rias' little group was just out-and-out friendly, at least, and had communicated as much to Trev while they were sitting in the bushes for hours on end.
Inside the gloomy building, the girl lead the two to a foyer styled in the European way. "I'll make some tea while we wait for the other members to come. I suppose I should introduce myself." She took a small moment to face the two. "I am the club's vice president, Akeno Himejima. Pleased to meet you." The girl ended with a small but regal bow.
"Joseph Pholus," Joe responded with his own polite bow. "At your service."
"I'm Trevor Janai," Trevor said, dipping his head. "Nice to meet you, Akeno."
She smiled mischievously, then turned into the kitchen. A few moments later she returned with tea, as promised. By then the doors had opened once again, this time by another pair.
The young blond man instantly recognized Joe, and at his side was a white-haired short girl.
Akeno spoke out to the new pair, "They came quite a bit earlier than expected~"
Yuuto grinned with aplomb, taking the news in stride. "Rias has never picked wrong before. It's only to be expected. Welcome to the occult club, Joe, Trevor. And while I haven't met you yet, I have heard about you."
Trevor quirked an eyebrow at him. "Uh… what have you heard about me?" he asked curiously and warily.
Yuuto laughed mirthfully at his words. "Nothing embarrassing, honest. Only your name and picture along with your academy records. Rias does like to be thorough."
The white haired girl walked past the entire group, simply saying "Koneko Toujou, dommo," and sat down on the sofa. Where Akeno quickly served her a cup and what looked to be a chocolate ice cream bar.
"Nice to meet you both," Trevor nodded at them both, before looking over at the blonde. "What was your name?"
"Ah, my apologies. My name is Yuuto Kiba, class 2-C. Pleasure to meet you, Trevor. We're in your care," the blonde guy responded.
"Honestly, it feels more like the other way around," Trevor sighed. After a moment, he nervously grasped a tea cup and sipped daintily at him, humming when he found it tasty.
"Ah, I forget you might not be accustomed to Japan yet. Rias went through the same phase. It's not a literal phrase, simply a greeting." He patiently explained.
"Baka gaijin go home." Joe breathed to himself with a cheeky smirk.
"Of course you said that," Trevor groaned.
"Speaking of Rias, she should be here momentarily~" Akeno said. "You must have some questions for all of us, I suppose?"
"Yes, many," Trevor responded, glancing at Joe. "Our situation was… uh, weird, even before considering what happened with that psycho angel last night. But we should probably wait to fully disclose everything until Rias gets here, right?"
"Weird?" Yuuto said, pondering.
"Ara ara, I do like a mysterious man." Akeno purred from the side.
"We're just regular enigmas wrapped in riddles," Trevor dryly replied.
"I suppose it falls to us to… unwrap you then~ ufufufu" She grinned back.
Joe simply shrugged, not really feeling up to playing whatever little game Akeno and Trevor were getting up to.
"Akeno, please don't torment the newcomers too badly." Yuuto said with a flinch, rubbing the back of his head. The white-haired girl paid no attention, continuing to eat her ice cream.
… Wow, this one's actually pretty aggressive, huh? Trevor thought curiously. Well, not like I'm actually opposed to it… Priorities, though.
---
The doors opened, admitting what could only be described as a European model. Crimson hair seemed to float behind her. It was all Trevor could do not to openly gape at her beauty, with Joe having much the same reaction. With a quick glance she confirmed her club members' presence, stopping with curiosity at the two arrivals. "This is… unexpected." She spoke out, walking over to her desk after a momentary pause. Akeno was at her side in a flash, handing her a small cup of tea.
"Yes, well, we figured it would be best to cut to brass tacks considering the fallen angel that killed us last night, and how you resurrected us as servants and all that." Joe dryly replied. "Joseph Pholus, pleased to meet you."
"Trevor Janai," Trevor managed, clearing his throat. "Nice to meet you as well. And… well, thanks for saving our lives."
"I am Rias Gremory, President of the occult club. And as of yesterday evening, your master." Rias glanced upwards at the two from her steaming cup of tea.
"Uh… 'master?'" Trevor echoed, tilting his head to the side. "Say what now?"
Rias smiled softly. "Yes, master. As of yesterday, you both are no longer human. You have been reincarnated into House Gremory, as devil servants in my care."
Trevor… didn't know how to respond to that, slowly leaning back into his chair as he tried to comprehend the absolutely insane words that had just come out of Rias's mouth. He opened his mouth, then closed, then opened it again when he seemed to finally find the right words.
"I… have a lot of questions," he managed to state. "But… uh, I guess starting from the beginning is as good a place as any. How are we not human anymore? I don't," he looked down at his hands, "I don't feel any different."
Rias nodded, "You'll notice a few differences, mostly at night. Stronger hearing, better eyesight in the dark, and feelings of discomfort around biblical powers." She paused, as if considering how best to break the news. Mind set, Rias simply stated, "You both died. More specifically, the two of you were cut down by a light spear from a fallen angel. I arrived too late to join the fight, but not too late to hear your final wishes. Do you remember?"
"...I can't say that I do, honestly." Joe admitted. "Last thing I recall was throwing whatever I could at that bi- that ass- that… Uh… fallen angel as she mocked me."
Trevor gave him a dull look at his fumbling at finding words that weren't curses to describe the utter bitch that tried to kill them. "Is it cool if we swear in your company?" he asked blandly. "Because we both have strong feelings about what happened."
Rias raised a questioning eyebrow, then searched the room, meeting all of her companion's eyes. "Well, it's fine with me. How about you, Akeno?"
With a elusive giggle, the raven haired woman nodded, "My my, I don't see any reason why not. We are devils after all~"
To which Koneko nodded, and Yuuto simply stated, "Fallen angels and their ilk deserve to be called by whatever words describe them best."
Rias turned to glance at the two newly added servants. "So there is your answer. Satisfied?"
"Cool beans, then I'll go ahead and answer your question," Trevor nodded, clearing his throat before continuing. "Yes, I remember hearing your voice after that shitstain of a bitch skewered us. I… don't remember exactly what you said, though. Kinda in blinding pain and bleeding out everywhere at the time."
Rias nodded, as if confirming what she suspected. "Strong feelings of desire, feelings of wanting, all these devils can hear from the hearts of mankind. We offer contracts to satisfy those desires, in exchange for power or otherwise. You both desired above all to live," She glanced at Trevor, "And to get revenge against her." She turned to meet Joe's eyes. "So I brought you back into the world, as devils."
"...Yeah, that sounds like me." Joe allowed, despite not explicitly remembering having demanded to live to exact vengeance.
Trevor frowned, scratching at his chin. "Okay… which is a decent enough segue to my next question, I guess," he said. "What, precisely, is a devil? You guys don't really seem like the stereotypes laid out in Biblical lore."
Yuuto smiled at that. "I had the same thoughts myself when I was reincarnated as a devil. But it seems to me that the definition of what it means to be a devil has changed in these modern days."
Rias continued for him. "Great fights between Heaven, Hell and the Fallen have… destabilized old tradition and changed everything. Right now, we are in an era of tenuous peace. But to continue, the great houses that were left were forced to change from what they used to be to what we are now."
Trevor groaned, palming his face. "Why do I feel like I'm gonna need a history book for all of this?" he grumbled.
The president gave another patient smile, "I suppose it would all be overwhelming. I had hoped to give you a week to slowly come to terms with this, before you inevitably came to meet me. Perhaps, for now we've said enough on history. I would rather let you settle in."
"I'm… not so sure," Trevor admitted. "Because, uh, you're saying that my friend and I are now a totally different species, and that there's some kind of supernatural Cold War going on, right? That's, uh…" He sent a nervous glance at Joe. "I feel like that warrants some explanation. Or at least assurance."
"I've already mentioned that my visions made it clear that Rias and her group aren't evil; and I'm not sure about you, but for me info dumps tend to start going in one ear and out the other after a while." Joe replied wearily. The surrounding devils seemed confused at hearing that, with Yuuta stepping forward slightly.
"You had visions?" The blonde asked, perplexed.
Joe nodded, having had rehearsed this with Trevor to kill time while he absolutely refused to do anything that wasn't crouching in a bush for hours on end. Or playing thumb wars. "Shortly before arriving here I had some rather… Vague visions, about dying by the hand of a monster alongside someone else, and being resurrected by a red-headed woman that wasn't as evil as one might expect. It… Wasn't particularly helpful outside of letting me know that you and yours aren't going to like, abuse us or anything, obviously." He shrugged.
The president took a moment to think, "Perhaps that may have to do with why the fallen angel wished you both dead." She wondered. "Being an oracle is a powerful piece that no side would willingly allow another to hold monopoly of. Fallen angels do not go out of their way to kill humans, after all. And resurrecting you both cost me quite a bit more than any regular human would," she muttered more to herself than to the two. "What exactly did this fallen angel tell you before attacking you?" Rias suddenly asked, "Did she reveal any details or did she simply try to eliminate you quickly?"
"What'd that bitch say…" Trevor murmured under his breath. "Oh, something about sacred gears? And we had them?" The surrounding members all nodded in recognition, except for Koneko who continued to dissect her treat. It was as if they'd suddenly understood something.
"The cock-gobbling whore was sure to mention something about blaming Him for giving us those, which she asserted was the reason she 'had' to kill us, while she was making it a point to toy with us and make our 'last moments' as painful and drawn-out as she possibly could." Joe growled.
Yuuto scoffed. "Of course that filth would take pleasure in tormenting people. Rias…" He gave a glance at the president, which she answered with an unreadable glance.
Akeno stepped slightly forward, bringing the tray down on the table. "Sacred Gears are an unusual power that resides in certain humans." She stated.
Rias continued, "It is said that most of the great men in history possessed a Sacred Gear." She glanced upwards at the ceiling, "Sometimes they are formidable enough powers to threaten devils and fallen angels. That fallen angel, she surely came to check if the two of you had Sacred Gears dormant inside you. You were killed once that was confirmed."
Rias turned her eyes back on the pair, a new thought. "Well. Let's confirm for ourselves. Joe, Trevor, would you please raise your left hands?"
Joe obeyed immediately, though with a somewhat dubious look on his face. Having pretty much resigned him to the wild ride at this point, Trevor sighed and did the same.
The president continued her instruction, "Close your eyes, and imagine the strongest being that comes to mind."
Trevor quirked an eyebrow at that, though he closed his eyes all the same. The strongest being… Uh… Eh, fuck it. He imagined the one being he'd been in constant awe of for his entire life, the towering king that stood far and above any who dared to challenge him.
Godzilla.
Joe, meanwhile, while bringing up his left hand and shutting his eyes was immediately reminded of the Gandalfr, the Left Hand of God from the Familiar of Zero, the weaponmaster that would stand against entire armies with but a sword and win.
Trevor winced upon feeling an odd sensation from his right hand, a warmth that spread down to his arm and even crawling past his elbow.
A warm tingly sensation sprang to life on the back of Joe's left hand, and quickly worked its way down his forearm, stopping at the elbow. It… Wasn't unpleasant.
"Aw, jeez," Trevor breathed, opening his eyes to behold just what the hell was happening to his arm. A big fucking gauntlet had manifested on his arm, an angry-looking thing colored red and incredibly pointy.
Upon opening his eyes, Joe blinked rather owlishly. "Huh. Does this mean we're sentai heroes now, if we can summon armour?" He asked as he looked the red, fingerless gauntlet with a palm-sized inset emerald jewel on the back of the hand; vaguely recognizing it as he did so. "I think I also saw a more complete version of this in my visions…"
The group looked on with awe as the Sacred Gears manifested on the arms of both. "Double Critical?" quirked Rias. Then she answered the unsaid question, "It's a common Sacred Gear, a derivative of a much more powerful Sacred Gear. It will allow you both to double your physical powers. A strong ability to be sure, but not quite one that would warrant such an extreme reaction from the fallen angel." She paused, "I suspect there's more to it than just your Sacred Gears."
Akeno clasped the side of her cheek, tilting her head to the left. "Ara ara, it's quite a coincidence that you both happen to have the exact same Sacred Gear, don't you think? Perhaps fate has tied you together ~♬"
Yuuto nodded at that, "Odd, but I suppose coincidence is coincidence."
"Hey, Trev." Joe started with a grin, presenting his armoured fist to his bearded fellow. "Team Double Dragon brofist! Go!"
Koneko rolled her eyes at the antics, while the rest of the group simply chuckled glancing at the cringing Trevor.
"If we're gonna be Sentai heroes, we're going all the fucking way, boyo!" Joe declared.
Rias added a tidbit in the upcoming epics, "Double Critical is voice activated, if I recall correctly. 'Boost' is the command." She grinned wickedly.
"Trev!" Joe declared again. "Boost Knuckle me, bro!" He shouted, still presenting his gauntlet for a brofist.
"Aw jeez," Trevor sighed, though he moved to comply with a smile of his own. "But fuck it. Boooooost!"
Joe had responded in kind, and the moment their fists collided there was a thrum of power that reverberated through their bodies. The previously inert gauntlets suddenly flared to life with green glowing runes scrawled around the plate. Trevor reeled at the sensation, which was barely even remotely similar to the times he'd gotten really drunk, as if he were unstoppable.
Being sober (or at least he thought so) for this experience, he wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that.
"Holy shit, that actually worked!?" Joe cried out as what felt like raw, humming power coursed through his body, and he felt significantly more powerful than he had before. Everything felt almost as half as light as it did previously, describing the sensation as 'euphoric' wouldn't be inaccurate. "That's so dumb, I love it!"
Rias chuckled alongside the others, "I suppose we can put that matter to rest now. The Sacred Gears work as said, and the both of you have access to them. You can call them out whenever with only a thought now, since they are no longer dormant."
"Neat," Trevor murmured, inspecting the gauntlet more closely. He flexed his fingers once or twice, still feeling rather tingly all over from the surge of power. "So… what happens now?"
"Together… They fight crime." Joe chuckled to himself with a goofy grin.
Yuuto answered Trevor's question for the group. "It should last some time, usually fading only after you've reached your body's limit. If you're not in shape, perhaps ten minutes?"
"Ah, that wasn't precisely what I meant, but still, thanks," Trevor amended. "I meant, what are we supposed to do now?"
Rias stood up, walking over to Trevor, then stepped around behind him, bending over so her breath was hot against his ear. "How about you attend school like good students for a change?" She said in a husky voice.
Trevor would be a goddamn liar if he denied feeling a different sort of tingling at the gesture.
Rias stood back straight, this time taking a glance at Joe. "Don't think I didn't notice the two of you playing delinquents for the day. I will not allow my adorable servants to go down a wrong path now."
"Oy, he's the one that refused to do anything else! I wasn't about to leave him alone after what had happened last night!" Joe declared defensively, gauntleted hand still held aloft.
"Yeah okay, make me the weirdo and you the hero here," Trevor retorted with a roll of his eyes.
Koneko sighed, "Idiots."
---
After that, Trevor and Joe found themselves walking back to their dorm room. The time was spent in awkward silence, until the former cleared his throat.
"So," he started, adjusting his glasses. "We're, uh, devils now. And servants. After being bamfed away from our homes."
"Seems that way." Joe shrugged. "At this point I'm kind of used to life kicking me around, so I'm just trying to roll with it," He replied as he glanced down at the Gremory insignia on the palm of his right hand.
It had taken twenty minutes for Joe's power to fade, about twice as long as Trev's had lasted, and he felt kind of weak without the power flowing throughout his body now.
"So you've mentioned before," Trevor sighed. "I can't really say the same. So if you hear me quietly sobbing in my bed tonight, just feel free to ignore me." There was a momentary pause. "... You said this was supposed to be a harem series, right?"
"Yeah, from what I can recall, the main character was an utter pervert and all that, and that the girls were… Fairly aggressive, from what I can recall." Joe answered. "So… Get used to the idea of dealing with harem antics, with you being the primary target, going off of what happened in the clubhouse."
"Right…" Trevor drawled, thinking back on Akeno and Rias. "Well, it looks like you and I are sharing the spotlight in this case, so I suspect they're bound to make a move on you sooner than later, too."
Joe rolled his eyes with a snort at that. "Yeah, I'm sure. Gonna be fighting them off with a broomstick. Pretty quick here." He sighed. "Anyways, I'm pretty sure that they're all California legal, to ease any concerns you might have. Still kind of an age-gap, considering you're twenty-four if I'm remembering correctly, but it's not that bad."
"They're legal, we're legal, happy day for everyone," Trevor chuckled. "Whatever happens, happens. I'm not that worried about it." He blinked, hesitating. "Unless spending a night together means I basically married the chick in devil culture. Shit, maybe I should ask about that… and devil culture in general…"
"That might be a good idea." Joe replied. "I don't recall a damned thing about the series past what little I've already shared, so I should be around for that discussion."
"So… other than that, guess we're Japanese high school students by day, superheroes by night," Trevor stated. "We even have the faux-dark theme going for us, so we can be all super brooding and edgy if need be."
"Got that down to an art form here. A dark and troubled past will do that to ya." Joe stated while gesturing a thumb to himself lightheartedly.
Trevor rolled his eyes at that.
---
The scolding they got for being delinquents when they went to class the next morning almost gave Joe pangs of nostalgia from his highschool days. Not that he missed that period of his life, but it was oddly sentimental in its own strange way; getting shit for hanging out with a bunch of girls instead of attending classes again.
Joe had asserted that he was sick and just forgot to report in, rather than throwing Trev under the bus again, being used to coming up with excuses for truancy.
Trevor, for his part, didn't care that much for the scolding since he couldn't be fucked to care about high school again. In hindsight, that was actually a very delinquent thing to think. Maybe the teacher had a point.
Classes were, shocker, boring. What was of some more interest was the rumor mill doing its work concerning the two foreigners. Even if pretty much no one approached them to ask the truth, the other students were rather blatantly gossiping about Joe and Trevor regarding why they were absent yesterday.
Some had even correctly guessed that something had happened to the two the night previous, though surprisingly no one thought to posit the theory that they were murdered by an angel.
Either way, class came and went, so Joe and Trevor decided going back to the clubhouse was probably the best call to make. They had… friends, there. Acquaintances, maybe? People they knew, at the very least.
---
Akeno greeted the pair with a mischievous smile, "Well, I see you both haven't tried to run." She tilted her head to the side, chuckling. "That's too bad, I do like to give chase ~♫"
Right out the gate, huh? Trevor realized.
"Something tells me you would've caught us in the end, no matter how hard we tried," Trevor responded cheekily.
"Running would be kind of pointless, wouldn't it?" The taller man asked.
Naturally, it flew right over Joe's head. Trevor gave him a baffled look upon realizing he was actually being serious.
"...What?" Joe asked, confused by the baffled look Trevor was giving him.
"I'll tell you when you're older," the bespectacled man dryly replied, to the maned fellow's continued befuddlement.
Akeno tilted her head to the other side, hand on cheek as if it had never left it. That mischievous smile still present. "Ara ara, what ever could you mean Trevor, I wonder? ~♪"
… Wow. I can't remember the last time a girl has been this forward about it, Trevor internally noted.
"I'm sure you can use your imagination," Trevor replied, inwardly flinching and thinking he sounded hokey as shit.
Yuuto sighed, appearing at the side of the two. "Akeno…" He wheezed out in slight exasperation. On her part, the girl simply smiled at him innocently. Koneko walked in past, taking her usual seat on the couch and making a clear effort at ignoring the undertones. In a moment, Rias had arrived.
"Good evening." Rias greeted the group, then turned her attention to the two newly inducted devils. "Well then, while this might be early I see you two want something to do?" She asked the pair.
"I guess," Trevor answered, raising his hand, emblazoned with her emblem. "Anything you need help with?" He did genuinely want to repay her for saving their lives, freaky master-servant relationship aside.
Rias nodded, "First I'll explain the basics." She sat down on the couch. "Devils collect power by forming contracts with humans and receiving compensation for it. One of your responsibilities as part of my peerage is to grant wishes."
She pointed at a large pile of fliers at the side of the room. "Nowadays, no one manually draws magic circles to summon devils, so we mass print magic circles and hand out the fliers to potential contractors."
"... Huh." Trevor looked down at the fliers after accepting the burlap sack she'd handed him, noting that they looked more like sexy Halloween cards than anything. "That's… very modern. So, what, we just hand these out to random people on the street?"
Rias nodded. "Usually you'd have your familiars hand out the fliers, but it's good to have the basic experience down too." She stood up, walking over to the two shuffling fliers in their sack, and leaned down to whisper in their ears. "Work hard and maybe you'll have your own servants one day."
"I'm not comfortable with the idea of having servants, personally." Joe idly replied, clearly not particularly moved by Rias' proximity.
"Oy vey," Trevor groaned. This really was going to be a thing now, wasn't it? "Me neither. So our first act as devils is to shove fliers in people's faces? Not quite what I was expecting."
Akeno smirked at that, talking in her usual sultry voice, "Ara ara, the two want to do real work Hmmm? Maybe we should let them~" She glanced over at Rias. On her part, Rias took it in stride.
"Very well then," She answered the two. "Distribute the fliers, with a smile, and come back after you're done. We'll have you go out and complete your first contract."
Trevor shrugged. "You're the boss, I guess." Not like they really had much of a choice. "If Joe's cool with it, I'm cool with it."
"I'm good either way." Joe shrugged.
As they left, Trevor paused by Akeno and looked right at her. "The way you manage to make every sentence you say super-suggestive is actually kinda impressive. So, y'know, good on you for that." He managed to give her a thumbs-up while hefting his sack of fliers. It wasn't actually intended to be flirtatious, rather more of a genuine remark.
Joe blinked. "She does?"
Akeno smiled broadly at him, "My my, I'm but an innocent maiden ~♪" She said in an extra sultry voice, "I truly have no idea what you mean~"
"I'm the last person to judge someone if they weren't," Trevor snorted, rolling his eyes and completely ignoring Joe. "Anyway, later, skaters."
---
The pair handed out fliers following orders like good little minions. Most people ignored them, frankly by being foreigners they had the deck stacked up against them already. Their job… didn't result in great progress with only a few picking up the fliers out of either curiosity or courtesy.
Things became more and more boring as the day passed by, until the pair stumbled on an oddity in nun's clothing. Specifically one tripped and sprawled over the ground, flashing her underwear to the world at large. White was the color and red was the blush. Thankfully the area wasn't too busy, nor filled with gawkers. Sprawled around her was a slightly opened suitcase and myriad of clothing around on the street, in danger of being blown away by the first malevolent wind.
"Oh shit," Joe groaned as he rushed to the nun's side and quickly helped her up, making a point to try hiding her modesty from public view with his coat.
Upon seeing that Joe had it well-handled, Trevor let him deal with it as he tried to get rid of more of the damn fliers.
"Are you okay, miss?" The long-haired fellow asked, hoping she wouldn't realise she just gave the world a grade-A view of her posterior, and quickly moving to gather up her stuff before he blew away once she seemed to be steady on her feet.
"Uhhmm, yes, thank you!" She answered back with a timid voice. Gathering the offered clothing, she straightened up her suitcase into respectable shape before standing back up. "Thank you very much!" She gave a dazzling smile of what could only be described as pure generosity.
Joe couldn't help but notice how tiny the girl was. She was five feet, maybe five-foot-one at the most. An entire head shorter than him at least.
Trevor did a double-take at her face. He could've sworn he'd seen that face somewhere before…
The blond haired nun glanced nervously at the two, building up courage to say something. Then she spoke, "Umm, I…" She stuttered, both fingers tapping one another even more nervously, "I got lost and need help."
"Uh…" Joe started, immediately feeling guilty. "Well… We aren't locals here, so it's not as though we really know our way around the place ourselves-" She immediately looked utterly crushed. "-Unless you're looking to find the Kouh Academy, an arcade, or a steakhouse…" He said with a hand rubbing the back of his head. "I mean, we could try to help, but I'm not sure how much use we'd be…"
At the word "help", her eyes positively sparkled with delight.
"Thank you very much, I-I'd really like the company. I'm… a little… umm, bewildered? By this city. It's so huge!" The nun answered, clearly happy to have met other people similar to her.
"Uh…" Oh geez, this was gonna take all day, wasn't it? "...Okay, I'll just ask my friend if he can help. We're kind of in the middle of something so he may have to stay behind..."
At that, Joe turned to the bearded man, gesturing at him.
"You got this, bro," Trevor replied with a wave of his hand. "Actually, think this might count for the contract thing?" He flapped a flier for emphasis. "Two birds, one stone. Or would it be three birds?" He shrugged. "Either way. If you wanna help her, go for it."
She looked curious at what Trevor had said, but her attention was captivated immediately by Joe's next words.
"Alright…" Joe shrugged himself. "Well, where were you trying to go, miss…?"
"Asia Argento," she answered happily, "I was appointed to this city's church, but I can't find it, and I've been walking aimlessly for hours." Asia finished with a defeated sigh.
"Well, alright, let's see if we can't find it then." Joe stated while looking around with a lost expression on his own face. "And with luck I won't wander into the city's most crime-ridden district like what happened the last time I was set loose in a city by myself…" Joe grumbled to himself.
---
The two walked mostly in comfortable silence, with occasional discussion on possible directions to go from. For the most part, Aisa seemed simply happy to have someone else to walk with her around town.
While walking with the girl, Joe wound up glancing at her crucifix, and it… Fucking hurt to look at it.
That obviously really worried Joe, as it suggested a good number of things. He'd have to share that information with Trevor, 'cause Christ-
A sudden bolt of pain lanced through his head, nearly causing him to recoil on the spot from the surprise of it, though it was minor enough he managed to keep it under control and pass it off as a headache to the girl.
That was worrying.
Additionally, while trying to follow the signage that he'd been pointed to while asking for directions, the two came across a boy that had apparently fallen off a slide or something while playing, and the girl's immediate reaction was to rush to him, crouch at his side, and promptly start using healing magic to heal the scrape.
"Don't cry," She said, kneeling by the boy, "It's just a scrape. You're a boy, after all." She spoke softly with concern. Then, put both her palms over his wounds. Green light started to emanate from her hands, as two silver rings appeared on both her hands. And the wound on the boy's shin shrank and vanished within seconds.
That obviously caught Joe off-guard. And worried him greatly, for a number of reasons. It was quickly becoming clear that escorting this girl to the front door of the church in question would be a… Potentially bad idea.
If that didn't come back to bite her in the ass at some point, he'd be rather surprised as well.
The nun turned up to glance at Joe, "Oh! I'm sorry Joe, force of habit," she lightly said, asking forgiveness for rushing away.
"It's alright." Joe replied with some forced cheer, not wanting to give the impression that he was upset to provide an inkling that he was starting to feel like he'd made a mistake in escorting her around the city, worrying that the local Christian church might- was almost certainly hostile to devils. "Nothing wrong with wanting to help others if you can."
The two continued on their way, Asia unaware of the second thoughts Joe was having. Things became more grim the moment they reached near the church. It was almost immediate. A sudden feeling of discomfort, an adrenaline spike, and a feeling of danger emanating from a direction. A direction that showed a bell tower in the distance.
"Oh!" Said the nun, "I see the church from here!"
Upon setting eyes on the building, Joe felt a deep sense of dread overcame him: goosebumps, sweaty palms, the whole shebang… It wasn't debilitating, but sweet baby Jesus - immediately that blinding spike of pain almost caused him to flinch. He should have seen this coming. Both the headache and the church's aura.
"Alright, you probably got it from here, miss?" Joe asked neutrally.
"Yes!" She replied enthusiastically, "I can take it from here, I wouldn't want to separate you from your friend for too long. I feel I've overstepped already," she worried, giving a quick and awkward bow.
"It's no trouble, really… But I should get back to him now, have a pleasant day, Miss Argento." Joe stated with a small smile as he turned and started moving to retrace his path back to the park. She waved back at him, a happy smile stretched on her face as she watched him walk away.
---
"So, how was the date?" Trevor said by way of greeting once Joe returned. The bearded guy was right where he left him, still passing around the contract flyers.
Joe was briefly taken off-guard by the question, but quickly realised it was just a joke and brushed it off. "Well, that was exceptionally stupid of me, for a few reasons." He replied.
"I'm guessing paying a visit to God's-" The instant he'd said the Lord's name, a vicious headache pierced into his skull. "Ah, fuck!" he cursed, more out of surprise than anything as he clutched his head. "Fucking ow!"
"...Yeah. Same thing happened to me when I just thought J- ...The Son's name in vain, earlier." Joe stated, catching himself before he dropped the big J-Man's name.
"Well this sucks," Trevor groaned. "I just know I'm gonna slip up and say their names again at some point."
"We'll learn our lesson eventually, I imagine…" Joe sighed. "Well, we'd better get back to Rias and report for our obligatory scolding, I guess…"
---
"Don't go near a church ever again." Rias scolded the two on their return. "Churches are hostile territory to us devils." She walked forward, her voice taking a serious pitch. "You'll incite fights between Heaven and us Devils just by stepping in there." She cautioned, "And we don't know when those people will throw light-lances through your hearts."
"Joe… Well, we were just trying to be nice," Trevor spoke up defensively. "And we've kinda lived our whole lives without places like that being hostile. Bit of a drastic change to suddenly accept."
"Without much warning, at that." Joe grumpily added.
Rias sighed, "Then I'll warn you now." She turned and looked at the two sharply."Staying around someone from the church is inviting death." She warned. "Especially since some of the church's exorcists have Sacred Gears of their own."
The president didn't stop, instead leaning off to the side and took a more somber tone. "To exorcise a devil means to annihilate him. Into nothingness." A dangerous glint lit in her eyes, as she repeated. "You turn into nothing. You feel nothing. You can do nothing. Do you know what that's like?"
"Pre-birth oblivion, I'd imagine." Joe dryly replied. "Something I'd rather avoid reverting back to, considering I intend to live forever, personally."
"We got it, Rias," Trevor sighed. "Between the multiple scoldings we've gotten today and the painful reminders of our new… devil-ness, I think we've sufficiently realized we fucked up."
Rias nodded, clearly content that the two had taken her warning with due seriousness. "Sorry if I sounded too upset, I don't want to lose anyone." She took a breath, calming herself and closing her eyes.
A moment passed. Then she returned.
"Well, you've both accomplished your end of the bargain in distributing fliers. Now for mine. A genuine contract." She turned to the white haired girl on the couch. On Koneko's part, she had made almost no effort in studiously ignoring the latest events. "Fortunately, we have just the thing. Koneko was contracted twice for tonight, you two will handle one of them while she handles the other."
"Dank," Trevor said, leaning back into his seat and folding his arms. "So what do we do?"
Rias motioned to Akeno, who took the prompt with stride. The black haired girl stepped lightly to the center of the room, and then a glowing red circle of runes filled the floor under her.
"This is a summoning circle," explained Rias while Akeno vanished from sight. "It will transport you to your summoner."
Rias walked over to where Akeno had stood a moment ago, and the glowing runes returned in full power. Then, she stepped off to the side, leaving the circle active but empty. "Go on, have a try." She motioned to the two.
"Uh, one sec," Trevor spoke up, a touch of worry in his voice. "Do we get to know what our, uh, summoner wants us to do? And how do we get back?"
"Good questions." Joe unhelpfully added.
The president answered their questions dutifully, "You'll never know the wish until you're face to face with the client, and they explain their request. As for returning, I'll handle that for you today."
"Oh boy, two country boys gonna have to try and bumble their way back to school after being teleported to a random location in a big-ass Japanese city. I can't see that going badly in any capacity." Joe very dryly stated.
"There are at least three ways Akeno would have perverted what you just said," Trevor realized.
Yuuto nodded sagely at that from the side.
"...How?" Joe asked, somewhat perplexed by the assertion.
Trevor just shook his head in disappointment.
"Whatever, man," he said in resignation, standing up and walking over the summoning circle. "If you think it's safe, Rias, then I'll go along with it."
Joe shrugged, and proceeded onto the circle himself. "Down the rabbit hole we go." He declared with great resignation.
Power surged from the magic circle and through their bodies, feeding into… something as it crackled to life. Crimson sparkles fluttered around the two men, immediately making the two look rather fabulous, to Joe's great dismay. There was a blinding flash and…
They were still in the clubhouse room, everyone else staring at them. The summoning circle fizzled, and then died.
"...Uh… Oops?" Joe said in confusion.
"... There's a Viagra joke in here somewhere," Trevor sighed.
Rias hummed, "Joe, Trevor… Looks like you can't jump."
---
Which is why the two were speeding downhill on bicycles next.
"This! Is! Bullshit!" Trevor wheezed as he pumped the pedals.
"Then hold onto the hem of my fucking coat and I'll pull you along!" Joe called back, not being particularly bothered by the extended bike ride thanks to his actually pretty okay cardio.
"And lose… my dignity?" Trevor managed. "No… thanks! I'll deal!"
Joe had to make a deliberate effort to not leave Trev in the dust, and more annoyingly, the GPS Rias had provided them wasn't even fucking accurate! It seemed to provide only vague suggestions at best. It was all bullshit, and someone was laughing their heads off at their misery. The two just couldn't quite put their finger on who.
"The fuck do you mean do a U-turn you piece of crap!?" Joe cursed at the defective piece of tech.
"Aren't we fucking devils?!" Trevor whined. "Why do we have to keep doing dumb shit?!"
And then things went bad, as they always do. The air suddenly felt cold and dangerous, the night empty of bystanders, and the sky had turned purple. Which, it clearly wasn't supposed to be that shade of ominous swirling purple.
Joe noticed first, his eyes not being locked shut from physical overexertion.
"Oh shit… Oh SHIT! FIST BUMP, FIST BUMP!" Joe cried out as he hit the brakes of his bike and stopped Trevor, summoning his gauntlet and immediately presenting it to him in a half-panic.
"Fuuuuuuuuuck!" Trevor groaned, skidding to a halt and conjuring his own gauntlet.
"BOOST!" They both cried out together as they abandoned their bikes.
Their fists slammed together, the surge of power flowing through them, just as a figure walked into the light.
"How strange." The woman said, "I don't seem to have the wrong person. But she killed you."
Joe knew full well that the first thing he noticed should not have been her absurd hourglass figure and comically over-sized chest, but fucking hell! ...And she did not look happy to see them.
"... You know, I was kinda joking about the superhero by night thing," Trevor groaned. He'd been doing a lot of groaning lately, he realized. "But I swear to God - Ah, fuck!"
The woman's eyes furrowed, then she gasped. "Devils? Now I see why you both aren't dead. Then I'll finish the job." A yellow spear erupted from her right hand, and she sent it flying without any warning.
Joe and Trevor leapt aside, noting that the spear wasn't moving as quickly as Yuma's had been, which coupled with their newfound power...
The javelin passed by them, fizzling out in the air.
"Okay, another psycho out to kill us," Trevor grunted, standing back up. He raised his gauntleted right arm. The angel stared down at the red gauntlet, noticing it for the first time.
"Stray devils and Sacred Gear…" She muttered. "Fine. All the more reason to end you now!" Another spear of yellow light glowed in her hands.
"Bring it, you fucking Jezebel!" Joe growled, raising his fists with the gauntlet held forward and proceeding to charge at her. The angel flared her wings out, and launched another spear at Joe, missing to his quick sidestep. She took to the air, not wanting to leave herself within punching distance. And all the while failing to notice what Joe's partner was up to.
Meanwhile, Trevor ran to the nearest streetlamp. Praying that his newfound strength would be enough, he firmly grasped it and yanked. The metal screeched in protest, but it gave away, ripping the streetlamp from the ground.
"Oh, fuck yeah," Trevor said with a grin, before pulling it back like a bat. Then, with a shout, he swung hard.
The angel had only a moment to spot the speeding metal pole before it slammed into her and tossed her straight to the side onto the alleyway wall. She crumpled on the ground, slightly stunned before trying to righten herself.
Joe wasted no time in charging at her, winding up a full-force gauntleted haymaker directed full-force at her face. It connected, hard. The angel was tossed again like a ragdoll, but now she'd wisened up. Immediately she rolled on the ground and leapt upwards, using her full wings to give her a boost.
Leaping up at her, Joe reached out and managed to take a hold of her ankle in mid-air, attempting to grab and pin her down for a wailing. The angel did not fuck around with an angry Joe nipping at her heels, she snarled and another yellow lance was drawn in her hands, lifted and ready to impale the weight dragging her down.
Trevor noticed the lance being conjured and cursed as he rushed forward, hastily swinging at her once again before Joe could get hit. It struck her directly in her stomach, knocking her sideways. With the unrelenting Canadian firmly holding onto her ankles, she swung down back onto the ground. Her spear hadn't vanished however, and she blindly tossed it forward at Joe's grasping hands.
Only to have the javelin crack as soon as it connected with the red plate. The force was still enough to break his grip, staggering him.
She immediately crawled away, wings flapping to assist, trying to put distance between her and her assailants and frantically raising back on her feet.
"Leave us the fuck alone already!" Trevor shouted, pointing the streetlamp directly at her. "We're not hurting anyone but you people because you keep trying to kill us!"
She didn't seem to be paying attention as Joe immediately dive-tackled her the moment he regained his footing with a snarl. The angel hadn't left herself defenseless, however, with a dive of her own, she twisted around and launched a desperate yellow spear directly at the lunging Joe. It impacted his chest, knocking him backwards and painfully embedding itself into his right lung.
It hurt a lot more than it did the last time, so much so that Joe couldn't even entertain the thought of ripping it out and throwing it back at her in the few instants it took for it to dissipate on its own. The light seemed to burn at the touch, and it was touching quite a lot of Joe's internals.
If Joe had such eloquent thoughts, he didn't show it as he wordlessly snarled in pain on the ground, clutching at the wound. The adrenaline could only mask so much.
She pulled herself to her feet, focusing her eyes on Trevor. "I made a mistake." The angel admitted. "I should have informed her first of this, and then killed you!"
"If you want to challenge House Gremory, go for it," Trevor shot back. He moved the streetlamp in a defensive stance.
The angel gave Trevor a disbelieving look, a slight drip of blood trailing from her mouth. She had seen better days, that much was obvious from her ruffled black feathers. "House Gremory took you both? This…" She never finished, her eyes had realized something. Instead she turned and flared her wings out, flying into the sky with a running start. No parting words.
Joe tried to move to jump at her again, but only managed to flop onto his chest with a heaving scream as blood rapidly pooled on the ground beneath him while he started incoherently cursing at the top of his lung, the gravity of his grievous injury catching up to him.
It felt like he was drowning, his own blood rapidly filling up lung and stifling his attempts at speech as he reflexively gagged and coughed, his body attempting to futily vacate the fluid. He attempted to push himself to his feet, but could only barely manage to keep his chest off the tarmac.
Trevor watched her go, not quite easing up until she was just a speck in the sky. Finally, his figure sagged, leaning on the streetlamp for support.
"For fuck's sake…" he breathed raggedly, running over to the raging Joe. "Fuck…" Damn it, Joe had been really fucked up in that fight.
He shook his head. Focus. Discipline.
"Joe, I'm going to give you an energy boost, then we are getting the fuck back to Rias," Trevor told him, raising his gauntlet. "After that, we are going to have a god - Ow, fuck! A damn talk about this!"
Trevor aimed his gauntlet and bumped it with together with Joe's. Immediately both gauntlets flared to life once more. A voice called out in both their heads, echoing and deafening at the same time.
"BOOST! TRANSFER!"
Trevor was sent reeling from the sheer power that coursed through his veins, far more than what he'd experienced previously. He felt like he could bench-press a truck. All that immediately disappeared the moment the second word echoed.
It felt as if a bloody veil was lifted from his eyes, and Joe rapidly grew lucid again, his rage subsiding as he regained control of himself, his strength returning to his body.
He no longer felt as if he were on death's door, but his breathing remained ragged, blood still pooling within his lung.
A moment later, the sky's purple haze vanished. No - chased out with vengeance. A malevolent red glow heralded the sense of power coming from behind the two.
Rias had arrived.
========================================================
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theater:
Talking about the girls flirting around with Trevor.
Lucky: They'll probably be coming for you next.
Geoff: Here comes Yuuto.
Lucky & Baka: Nervous laughing intensifies
Trevor tries to uproot a streetlamp.
Lucky: Can I pull a streetlamp off the ground?
Geoff: Uhh Devil power up plus boost…. eh. I'll allow it. Rule of cool.
Lucky: BATTER UP.
Chapter 02 - Try Again?
===
A voice echoed in both Joe and Trevor's fading minds.
"Do you wish to live?" It asked.
"YES, GOD DAMN IT!" Trevor screamed, even as blood fell from his mouth.
"Next time… Next time, you bitch…" Joe repeated to himself as he choked on his own blood, rapidly growing unaware of the world around him.
"Then, if you're dying anyhow, I'll take you. I'll grant your wish." The voice echoed. "And in exchange, you will devote your life to me."
Everything faded into black.
---
Trevor catapulted upward, screaming, and then smashed his head on something hard. Probably the ceiling. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" he spat, reeling back and clutching his head in pain. "WHY?!"
At the sound of a loud crash, Joe bolted up- and hit the top of his head on the top bunk. "Gah, fuck!" He cried out as he fell back onto the mattress. "Fuck my liiiife!" He wailed aloud, clutching his forehead.
"Gaaaaaaah," Trevor grumbled, rolling his bunk, and then with a start ripped off his sheets to look at his chest. It looked like he hadn't just been stabbed through the heart holy shit- "Joe! What the fuck, man?! I thought you knew!"
"I-!" Joe paused, and tried to remember what happened next…
And turned to look over at the other side of his bed.
He blinked. No Rias. "...Evidently remember even less about this fucking show than I thought…" He grimaced as he sat up in the bed and looked himself over, finding no injuries to speak of. "...Though if I'm remembering correctly, we aren't human anymore…" He groaned. "Fuck me man, we're going to the occult club, Rias will have been responsible for resurrecting us."
Trevor went silent at that, glowering at the ceiling for a few moments before ripping off his sheets and stomping down to the floor. He looked down at Joe. "Does it still hurt?" he asked.
"Just get it over and done with." Joe grimaced, presenting his face for the well-deserved strike he knew was coming.
A sharp inhale and exhale was what he received. Trevor glared at him, then shook his head. "You 'died', too, so that makes it more than even," he managed, turning away to get dressed. "Now you and I are gonna go to this shitty occult club, talk to this Rias chick who we totally made a deal with the devil for, and figure out what the fuck is going on in this shitty school."
"No arguments here, dude." Joe stated as he forced himself to his feet and started getting dressed, pushing the trauma of what occurred the previous night into the back of his mind where he could suppress it like a normal person. "Just… Keep in mind, Rias is… Actually very kind and considerate, from what I can recall."
There was a knocking on the door, and a muffled voice from the other side shouting, "Hey, hurry up you two, class is gonna start soon!"
"...We could skip it and go right for the club, but I can't recall if they also attend classes normally or not." Joe sighed as he threw his blazer on.
"We were murdered by a psychotic angel who referred to us as 'food'," Trevor stated. "I think whatever cute punishment this school has for skipping class is worth figuring this shit out."
The larger man shrugged. "Just saying, they might not actually be there until classes are out for the day, otherwise I agree with you."
"... I get what you're saying," Trevor allowed. "But like hell am I going to be able to sit in a high school classroom right now. Even if she doesn't show up until after class, I'd rather wait for her all day than go to class."
"Then we agree." Joe stated as he moved for the door, now fully dressed. "Let's get going then."
---
Trevor tried one more time to turn the doorknob with a grunt, then sighed as he let go.
"Guess the occult club locks their shit during class," he declared, stepping over to lean against the wall.
"We should probably wait somewhere a teacher won't see us until classes are done." Joe replied simply, his hand instinctively trying to grasp at the knife he didn't have at his side for comfort, considering the way they'd been attacked last night as he scanned the surrounding woods for… Anything.
---
It wasn't until school finally ended that someone approached the occult club building. They'd taken shifts going to the toilet, vending machine, and other misc affairs before they finally spotted someone coming in their direction. She walked over with a light gait, a smile on her face.
"Ara, ara, you're quite early~" She said in a musical voice, "Perhaps you were waiting for me?" That time in a mischievous voice. "Or, might you be lost? ~♫"
"Waiting for you, miss." Joe stated as he pushed himself off the tree trunk, making a valiant effort to ignore her attention grabbing... Assets. "Or for Rias Gremory, to be more accurate… Regarding our new pact with her."
Her eyes narrowed at that, brows half quirked in disbelief before she quickly schooled her expression. The girl tilted her head to the side, with a small fake gasp, covered only by her hand. "Oh my, Oh my, you two are quite quick. I wonder how you knew?"
"We kinda both decided continuing to be in the dark about this would be far worse," Trevor replied. Good God was her rack enormous. Like, back-breakingly enormous. "Considering, y'know, that apparently people want us dead for vague reasons."
"Well well, the dark is quite a lovely place for our kind, you know? ~♪" She smiled lightly, "But I suppose this is fine too. Well, would you like to come inside then? Ufufufu~"
"Yes, please." Joe replied with a weary, but genuine smile. He recalled that Rias' little group was just out-and-out friendly, at least, and had communicated as much to Trev while they were sitting in the bushes for hours on end.
Inside the gloomy building, the girl lead the two to a foyer styled in the European way. "I'll make some tea while we wait for the other members to come. I suppose I should introduce myself." She took a small moment to face the two. "I am the club's vice president, Akeno Himejima. Pleased to meet you." The girl ended with a small but regal bow.
"Joseph Pholus," Joe responded with his own polite bow. "At your service."
"I'm Trevor Janai," Trevor said, dipping his head. "Nice to meet you, Akeno."
She smiled mischievously, then turned into the kitchen. A few moments later she returned with tea, as promised. By then the doors had opened once again, this time by another pair.
The young blond man instantly recognized Joe, and at his side was a white-haired short girl.
Akeno spoke out to the new pair, "They came quite a bit earlier than expected~"
Yuuto grinned with aplomb, taking the news in stride. "Rias has never picked wrong before. It's only to be expected. Welcome to the occult club, Joe, Trevor. And while I haven't met you yet, I have heard about you."
Trevor quirked an eyebrow at him. "Uh… what have you heard about me?" he asked curiously and warily.
Yuuto laughed mirthfully at his words. "Nothing embarrassing, honest. Only your name and picture along with your academy records. Rias does like to be thorough."
The white haired girl walked past the entire group, simply saying "Koneko Toujou, dommo," and sat down on the sofa. Where Akeno quickly served her a cup and what looked to be a chocolate ice cream bar.
"Nice to meet you both," Trevor nodded at them both, before looking over at the blonde. "What was your name?"
"Ah, my apologies. My name is Yuuto Kiba, class 2-C. Pleasure to meet you, Trevor. We're in your care," the blonde guy responded.
"Honestly, it feels more like the other way around," Trevor sighed. After a moment, he nervously grasped a tea cup and sipped daintily at him, humming when he found it tasty.
"Ah, I forget you might not be accustomed to Japan yet. Rias went through the same phase. It's not a literal phrase, simply a greeting." He patiently explained.
"Baka gaijin go home." Joe breathed to himself with a cheeky smirk.
"Of course you said that," Trevor groaned.
"Speaking of Rias, she should be here momentarily~" Akeno said. "You must have some questions for all of us, I suppose?"
"Yes, many," Trevor responded, glancing at Joe. "Our situation was… uh, weird, even before considering what happened with that psycho angel last night. But we should probably wait to fully disclose everything until Rias gets here, right?"
"Weird?" Yuuto said, pondering.
"Ara ara, I do like a mysterious man." Akeno purred from the side.
"We're just regular enigmas wrapped in riddles," Trevor dryly replied.
"I suppose it falls to us to… unwrap you then~ ufufufu" She grinned back.
Joe simply shrugged, not really feeling up to playing whatever little game Akeno and Trevor were getting up to.
"Akeno, please don't torment the newcomers too badly." Yuuto said with a flinch, rubbing the back of his head. The white-haired girl paid no attention, continuing to eat her ice cream.
… Wow, this one's actually pretty aggressive, huh? Trevor thought curiously. Well, not like I'm actually opposed to it… Priorities, though.
---
The doors opened, admitting what could only be described as a European model. Crimson hair seemed to float behind her. It was all Trevor could do not to openly gape at her beauty, with Joe having much the same reaction. With a quick glance she confirmed her club members' presence, stopping with curiosity at the two arrivals. "This is… unexpected." She spoke out, walking over to her desk after a momentary pause. Akeno was at her side in a flash, handing her a small cup of tea.
"Yes, well, we figured it would be best to cut to brass tacks considering the fallen angel that killed us last night, and how you resurrected us as servants and all that." Joe dryly replied. "Joseph Pholus, pleased to meet you."
"Trevor Janai," Trevor managed, clearing his throat. "Nice to meet you as well. And… well, thanks for saving our lives."
"I am Rias Gremory, President of the occult club. And as of yesterday evening, your master." Rias glanced upwards at the two from her steaming cup of tea.
"Uh… 'master?'" Trevor echoed, tilting his head to the side. "Say what now?"
Rias smiled softly. "Yes, master. As of yesterday, you both are no longer human. You have been reincarnated into House Gremory, as devil servants in my care."
Trevor… didn't know how to respond to that, slowly leaning back into his chair as he tried to comprehend the absolutely insane words that had just come out of Rias's mouth. He opened his mouth, then closed, then opened it again when he seemed to finally find the right words.
"I… have a lot of questions," he managed to state. "But… uh, I guess starting from the beginning is as good a place as any. How are we not human anymore? I don't," he looked down at his hands, "I don't feel any different."
Rias nodded, "You'll notice a few differences, mostly at night. Stronger hearing, better eyesight in the dark, and feelings of discomfort around biblical powers." She paused, as if considering how best to break the news. Mind set, Rias simply stated, "You both died. More specifically, the two of you were cut down by a light spear from a fallen angel. I arrived too late to join the fight, but not too late to hear your final wishes. Do you remember?"
"...I can't say that I do, honestly." Joe admitted. "Last thing I recall was throwing whatever I could at that bi- that ass- that… Uh… fallen angel as she mocked me."
Trevor gave him a dull look at his fumbling at finding words that weren't curses to describe the utter bitch that tried to kill them. "Is it cool if we swear in your company?" he asked blandly. "Because we both have strong feelings about what happened."
Rias raised a questioning eyebrow, then searched the room, meeting all of her companion's eyes. "Well, it's fine with me. How about you, Akeno?"
With a elusive giggle, the raven haired woman nodded, "My my, I don't see any reason why not. We are devils after all~"
To which Koneko nodded, and Yuuto simply stated, "Fallen angels and their ilk deserve to be called by whatever words describe them best."
Rias turned to glance at the two newly added servants. "So there is your answer. Satisfied?"
"Cool beans, then I'll go ahead and answer your question," Trevor nodded, clearing his throat before continuing. "Yes, I remember hearing your voice after that shitstain of a bitch skewered us. I… don't remember exactly what you said, though. Kinda in blinding pain and bleeding out everywhere at the time."
Rias nodded, as if confirming what she suspected. "Strong feelings of desire, feelings of wanting, all these devils can hear from the hearts of mankind. We offer contracts to satisfy those desires, in exchange for power or otherwise. You both desired above all to live," She glanced at Trevor, "And to get revenge against her." She turned to meet Joe's eyes. "So I brought you back into the world, as devils."
"...Yeah, that sounds like me." Joe allowed, despite not explicitly remembering having demanded to live to exact vengeance.
Trevor frowned, scratching at his chin. "Okay… which is a decent enough segue to my next question, I guess," he said. "What, precisely, is a devil? You guys don't really seem like the stereotypes laid out in Biblical lore."
Yuuto smiled at that. "I had the same thoughts myself when I was reincarnated as a devil. But it seems to me that the definition of what it means to be a devil has changed in these modern days."
Rias continued for him. "Great fights between Heaven, Hell and the Fallen have… destabilized old tradition and changed everything. Right now, we are in an era of tenuous peace. But to continue, the great houses that were left were forced to change from what they used to be to what we are now."
Trevor groaned, palming his face. "Why do I feel like I'm gonna need a history book for all of this?" he grumbled.
The president gave another patient smile, "I suppose it would all be overwhelming. I had hoped to give you a week to slowly come to terms with this, before you inevitably came to meet me. Perhaps, for now we've said enough on history. I would rather let you settle in."
"I'm… not so sure," Trevor admitted. "Because, uh, you're saying that my friend and I are now a totally different species, and that there's some kind of supernatural Cold War going on, right? That's, uh…" He sent a nervous glance at Joe. "I feel like that warrants some explanation. Or at least assurance."
"I've already mentioned that my visions made it clear that Rias and her group aren't evil; and I'm not sure about you, but for me info dumps tend to start going in one ear and out the other after a while." Joe replied wearily. The surrounding devils seemed confused at hearing that, with Yuuta stepping forward slightly.
"You had visions?" The blonde asked, perplexed.
Joe nodded, having had rehearsed this with Trevor to kill time while he absolutely refused to do anything that wasn't crouching in a bush for hours on end. Or playing thumb wars. "Shortly before arriving here I had some rather… Vague visions, about dying by the hand of a monster alongside someone else, and being resurrected by a red-headed woman that wasn't as evil as one might expect. It… Wasn't particularly helpful outside of letting me know that you and yours aren't going to like, abuse us or anything, obviously." He shrugged.
The president took a moment to think, "Perhaps that may have to do with why the fallen angel wished you both dead." She wondered. "Being an oracle is a powerful piece that no side would willingly allow another to hold monopoly of. Fallen angels do not go out of their way to kill humans, after all. And resurrecting you both cost me quite a bit more than any regular human would," she muttered more to herself than to the two. "What exactly did this fallen angel tell you before attacking you?" Rias suddenly asked, "Did she reveal any details or did she simply try to eliminate you quickly?"
"What'd that bitch say…" Trevor murmured under his breath. "Oh, something about sacred gears? And we had them?" The surrounding members all nodded in recognition, except for Koneko who continued to dissect her treat. It was as if they'd suddenly understood something.
"The cock-gobbling whore was sure to mention something about blaming Him for giving us those, which she asserted was the reason she 'had' to kill us, while she was making it a point to toy with us and make our 'last moments' as painful and drawn-out as she possibly could." Joe growled.
Yuuto scoffed. "Of course that filth would take pleasure in tormenting people. Rias…" He gave a glance at the president, which she answered with an unreadable glance.
Akeno stepped slightly forward, bringing the tray down on the table. "Sacred Gears are an unusual power that resides in certain humans." She stated.
Rias continued, "It is said that most of the great men in history possessed a Sacred Gear." She glanced upwards at the ceiling, "Sometimes they are formidable enough powers to threaten devils and fallen angels. That fallen angel, she surely came to check if the two of you had Sacred Gears dormant inside you. You were killed once that was confirmed."
Rias turned her eyes back on the pair, a new thought. "Well. Let's confirm for ourselves. Joe, Trevor, would you please raise your left hands?"
Joe obeyed immediately, though with a somewhat dubious look on his face. Having pretty much resigned him to the wild ride at this point, Trevor sighed and did the same.
The president continued her instruction, "Close your eyes, and imagine the strongest being that comes to mind."
Trevor quirked an eyebrow at that, though he closed his eyes all the same. The strongest being… Uh… Eh, fuck it. He imagined the one being he'd been in constant awe of for his entire life, the towering king that stood far and above any who dared to challenge him.
Godzilla.
Joe, meanwhile, while bringing up his left hand and shutting his eyes was immediately reminded of the Gandalfr, the Left Hand of God from the Familiar of Zero, the weaponmaster that would stand against entire armies with but a sword and win.
Trevor winced upon feeling an odd sensation from his right hand, a warmth that spread down to his arm and even crawling past his elbow.
A warm tingly sensation sprang to life on the back of Joe's left hand, and quickly worked its way down his forearm, stopping at the elbow. It… Wasn't unpleasant.
"Aw, jeez," Trevor breathed, opening his eyes to behold just what the hell was happening to his arm. A big fucking gauntlet had manifested on his arm, an angry-looking thing colored red and incredibly pointy.
Upon opening his eyes, Joe blinked rather owlishly. "Huh. Does this mean we're sentai heroes now, if we can summon armour?" He asked as he looked the red, fingerless gauntlet with a palm-sized inset emerald jewel on the back of the hand; vaguely recognizing it as he did so. "I think I also saw a more complete version of this in my visions…"
The group looked on with awe as the Sacred Gears manifested on the arms of both. "Double Critical?" quirked Rias. Then she answered the unsaid question, "It's a common Sacred Gear, a derivative of a much more powerful Sacred Gear. It will allow you both to double your physical powers. A strong ability to be sure, but not quite one that would warrant such an extreme reaction from the fallen angel." She paused, "I suspect there's more to it than just your Sacred Gears."
Akeno clasped the side of her cheek, tilting her head to the left. "Ara ara, it's quite a coincidence that you both happen to have the exact same Sacred Gear, don't you think? Perhaps fate has tied you together ~♬"
Yuuto nodded at that, "Odd, but I suppose coincidence is coincidence."
"Hey, Trev." Joe started with a grin, presenting his armoured fist to his bearded fellow. "Team Double Dragon brofist! Go!"
Koneko rolled her eyes at the antics, while the rest of the group simply chuckled glancing at the cringing Trevor.
"If we're gonna be Sentai heroes, we're going all the fucking way, boyo!" Joe declared.
Rias added a tidbit in the upcoming epics, "Double Critical is voice activated, if I recall correctly. 'Boost' is the command." She grinned wickedly.
"Trev!" Joe declared again. "Boost Knuckle me, bro!" He shouted, still presenting his gauntlet for a brofist.
"Aw jeez," Trevor sighed, though he moved to comply with a smile of his own. "But fuck it. Boooooost!"
Joe had responded in kind, and the moment their fists collided there was a thrum of power that reverberated through their bodies. The previously inert gauntlets suddenly flared to life with green glowing runes scrawled around the plate. Trevor reeled at the sensation, which was barely even remotely similar to the times he'd gotten really drunk, as if he were unstoppable.
Being sober (or at least he thought so) for this experience, he wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that.
"Holy shit, that actually worked!?" Joe cried out as what felt like raw, humming power coursed through his body, and he felt significantly more powerful than he had before. Everything felt almost as half as light as it did previously, describing the sensation as 'euphoric' wouldn't be inaccurate. "That's so dumb, I love it!"
Rias chuckled alongside the others, "I suppose we can put that matter to rest now. The Sacred Gears work as said, and the both of you have access to them. You can call them out whenever with only a thought now, since they are no longer dormant."
"Neat," Trevor murmured, inspecting the gauntlet more closely. He flexed his fingers once or twice, still feeling rather tingly all over from the surge of power. "So… what happens now?"
"Together… They fight crime." Joe chuckled to himself with a goofy grin.
Yuuto answered Trevor's question for the group. "It should last some time, usually fading only after you've reached your body's limit. If you're not in shape, perhaps ten minutes?"
"Ah, that wasn't precisely what I meant, but still, thanks," Trevor amended. "I meant, what are we supposed to do now?"
Rias stood up, walking over to Trevor, then stepped around behind him, bending over so her breath was hot against his ear. "How about you attend school like good students for a change?" She said in a husky voice.
Trevor would be a goddamn liar if he denied feeling a different sort of tingling at the gesture.
Rias stood back straight, this time taking a glance at Joe. "Don't think I didn't notice the two of you playing delinquents for the day. I will not allow my adorable servants to go down a wrong path now."
"Oy, he's the one that refused to do anything else! I wasn't about to leave him alone after what had happened last night!" Joe declared defensively, gauntleted hand still held aloft.
"Yeah okay, make me the weirdo and you the hero here," Trevor retorted with a roll of his eyes.
Koneko sighed, "Idiots."
---
After that, Trevor and Joe found themselves walking back to their dorm room. The time was spent in awkward silence, until the former cleared his throat.
"So," he started, adjusting his glasses. "We're, uh, devils now. And servants. After being bamfed away from our homes."
"Seems that way." Joe shrugged. "At this point I'm kind of used to life kicking me around, so I'm just trying to roll with it," He replied as he glanced down at the Gremory insignia on the palm of his right hand.
It had taken twenty minutes for Joe's power to fade, about twice as long as Trev's had lasted, and he felt kind of weak without the power flowing throughout his body now.
"So you've mentioned before," Trevor sighed. "I can't really say the same. So if you hear me quietly sobbing in my bed tonight, just feel free to ignore me." There was a momentary pause. "... You said this was supposed to be a harem series, right?"
"Yeah, from what I can recall, the main character was an utter pervert and all that, and that the girls were… Fairly aggressive, from what I can recall." Joe answered. "So… Get used to the idea of dealing with harem antics, with you being the primary target, going off of what happened in the clubhouse."
"Right…" Trevor drawled, thinking back on Akeno and Rias. "Well, it looks like you and I are sharing the spotlight in this case, so I suspect they're bound to make a move on you sooner than later, too."
Joe rolled his eyes with a snort at that. "Yeah, I'm sure. Gonna be fighting them off with a broomstick. Pretty quick here." He sighed. "Anyways, I'm pretty sure that they're all California legal, to ease any concerns you might have. Still kind of an age-gap, considering you're twenty-four if I'm remembering correctly, but it's not that bad."
"They're legal, we're legal, happy day for everyone," Trevor chuckled. "Whatever happens, happens. I'm not that worried about it." He blinked, hesitating. "Unless spending a night together means I basically married the chick in devil culture. Shit, maybe I should ask about that… and devil culture in general…"
"That might be a good idea." Joe replied. "I don't recall a damned thing about the series past what little I've already shared, so I should be around for that discussion."
"So… other than that, guess we're Japanese high school students by day, superheroes by night," Trevor stated. "We even have the faux-dark theme going for us, so we can be all super brooding and edgy if need be."
"Got that down to an art form here. A dark and troubled past will do that to ya." Joe stated while gesturing a thumb to himself lightheartedly.
Trevor rolled his eyes at that.
---
The scolding they got for being delinquents when they went to class the next morning almost gave Joe pangs of nostalgia from his highschool days. Not that he missed that period of his life, but it was oddly sentimental in its own strange way; getting shit for hanging out with a bunch of girls instead of attending classes again.
Joe had asserted that he was sick and just forgot to report in, rather than throwing Trev under the bus again, being used to coming up with excuses for truancy.
Trevor, for his part, didn't care that much for the scolding since he couldn't be fucked to care about high school again. In hindsight, that was actually a very delinquent thing to think. Maybe the teacher had a point.
Classes were, shocker, boring. What was of some more interest was the rumor mill doing its work concerning the two foreigners. Even if pretty much no one approached them to ask the truth, the other students were rather blatantly gossiping about Joe and Trevor regarding why they were absent yesterday.
Some had even correctly guessed that something had happened to the two the night previous, though surprisingly no one thought to posit the theory that they were murdered by an angel.
Either way, class came and went, so Joe and Trevor decided going back to the clubhouse was probably the best call to make. They had… friends, there. Acquaintances, maybe? People they knew, at the very least.
---
Akeno greeted the pair with a mischievous smile, "Well, I see you both haven't tried to run." She tilted her head to the side, chuckling. "That's too bad, I do like to give chase ~♫"
Right out the gate, huh? Trevor realized.
"Something tells me you would've caught us in the end, no matter how hard we tried," Trevor responded cheekily.
"Running would be kind of pointless, wouldn't it?" The taller man asked.
Naturally, it flew right over Joe's head. Trevor gave him a baffled look upon realizing he was actually being serious.
"...What?" Joe asked, confused by the baffled look Trevor was giving him.
"I'll tell you when you're older," the bespectacled man dryly replied, to the maned fellow's continued befuddlement.
Akeno tilted her head to the other side, hand on cheek as if it had never left it. That mischievous smile still present. "Ara ara, what ever could you mean Trevor, I wonder? ~♪"
… Wow. I can't remember the last time a girl has been this forward about it, Trevor internally noted.
"I'm sure you can use your imagination," Trevor replied, inwardly flinching and thinking he sounded hokey as shit.
Yuuto sighed, appearing at the side of the two. "Akeno…" He wheezed out in slight exasperation. On her part, the girl simply smiled at him innocently. Koneko walked in past, taking her usual seat on the couch and making a clear effort at ignoring the undertones. In a moment, Rias had arrived.
"Good evening." Rias greeted the group, then turned her attention to the two newly inducted devils. "Well then, while this might be early I see you two want something to do?" She asked the pair.
"I guess," Trevor answered, raising his hand, emblazoned with her emblem. "Anything you need help with?" He did genuinely want to repay her for saving their lives, freaky master-servant relationship aside.
Rias nodded, "First I'll explain the basics." She sat down on the couch. "Devils collect power by forming contracts with humans and receiving compensation for it. One of your responsibilities as part of my peerage is to grant wishes."
She pointed at a large pile of fliers at the side of the room. "Nowadays, no one manually draws magic circles to summon devils, so we mass print magic circles and hand out the fliers to potential contractors."
"... Huh." Trevor looked down at the fliers after accepting the burlap sack she'd handed him, noting that they looked more like sexy Halloween cards than anything. "That's… very modern. So, what, we just hand these out to random people on the street?"
Rias nodded. "Usually you'd have your familiars hand out the fliers, but it's good to have the basic experience down too." She stood up, walking over to the two shuffling fliers in their sack, and leaned down to whisper in their ears. "Work hard and maybe you'll have your own servants one day."
"I'm not comfortable with the idea of having servants, personally." Joe idly replied, clearly not particularly moved by Rias' proximity.
"Oy vey," Trevor groaned. This really was going to be a thing now, wasn't it? "Me neither. So our first act as devils is to shove fliers in people's faces? Not quite what I was expecting."
Akeno smirked at that, talking in her usual sultry voice, "Ara ara, the two want to do real work Hmmm? Maybe we should let them~" She glanced over at Rias. On her part, Rias took it in stride.
"Very well then," She answered the two. "Distribute the fliers, with a smile, and come back after you're done. We'll have you go out and complete your first contract."
Trevor shrugged. "You're the boss, I guess." Not like they really had much of a choice. "If Joe's cool with it, I'm cool with it."
"I'm good either way." Joe shrugged.
As they left, Trevor paused by Akeno and looked right at her. "The way you manage to make every sentence you say super-suggestive is actually kinda impressive. So, y'know, good on you for that." He managed to give her a thumbs-up while hefting his sack of fliers. It wasn't actually intended to be flirtatious, rather more of a genuine remark.
Joe blinked. "She does?"
Akeno smiled broadly at him, "My my, I'm but an innocent maiden ~♪" She said in an extra sultry voice, "I truly have no idea what you mean~"
"I'm the last person to judge someone if they weren't," Trevor snorted, rolling his eyes and completely ignoring Joe. "Anyway, later, skaters."
---
The pair handed out fliers following orders like good little minions. Most people ignored them, frankly by being foreigners they had the deck stacked up against them already. Their job… didn't result in great progress with only a few picking up the fliers out of either curiosity or courtesy.
Things became more and more boring as the day passed by, until the pair stumbled on an oddity in nun's clothing. Specifically one tripped and sprawled over the ground, flashing her underwear to the world at large. White was the color and red was the blush. Thankfully the area wasn't too busy, nor filled with gawkers. Sprawled around her was a slightly opened suitcase and myriad of clothing around on the street, in danger of being blown away by the first malevolent wind.
"Oh shit," Joe groaned as he rushed to the nun's side and quickly helped her up, making a point to try hiding her modesty from public view with his coat.
Upon seeing that Joe had it well-handled, Trevor let him deal with it as he tried to get rid of more of the damn fliers.
"Are you okay, miss?" The long-haired fellow asked, hoping she wouldn't realise she just gave the world a grade-A view of her posterior, and quickly moving to gather up her stuff before he blew away once she seemed to be steady on her feet.
"Uhhmm, yes, thank you!" She answered back with a timid voice. Gathering the offered clothing, she straightened up her suitcase into respectable shape before standing back up. "Thank you very much!" She gave a dazzling smile of what could only be described as pure generosity.
Joe couldn't help but notice how tiny the girl was. She was five feet, maybe five-foot-one at the most. An entire head shorter than him at least.
Trevor did a double-take at her face. He could've sworn he'd seen that face somewhere before…
The blond haired nun glanced nervously at the two, building up courage to say something. Then she spoke, "Umm, I…" She stuttered, both fingers tapping one another even more nervously, "I got lost and need help."
"Uh…" Joe started, immediately feeling guilty. "Well… We aren't locals here, so it's not as though we really know our way around the place ourselves-" She immediately looked utterly crushed. "-Unless you're looking to find the Kouh Academy, an arcade, or a steakhouse…" He said with a hand rubbing the back of his head. "I mean, we could try to help, but I'm not sure how much use we'd be…"
At the word "help", her eyes positively sparkled with delight.
"Thank you very much, I-I'd really like the company. I'm… a little… umm, bewildered? By this city. It's so huge!" The nun answered, clearly happy to have met other people similar to her.
"Uh…" Oh geez, this was gonna take all day, wasn't it? "...Okay, I'll just ask my friend if he can help. We're kind of in the middle of something so he may have to stay behind..."
At that, Joe turned to the bearded man, gesturing at him.
"You got this, bro," Trevor replied with a wave of his hand. "Actually, think this might count for the contract thing?" He flapped a flier for emphasis. "Two birds, one stone. Or would it be three birds?" He shrugged. "Either way. If you wanna help her, go for it."
She looked curious at what Trevor had said, but her attention was captivated immediately by Joe's next words.
"Alright…" Joe shrugged himself. "Well, where were you trying to go, miss…?"
"Asia Argento," she answered happily, "I was appointed to this city's church, but I can't find it, and I've been walking aimlessly for hours." Asia finished with a defeated sigh.
"Well, alright, let's see if we can't find it then." Joe stated while looking around with a lost expression on his own face. "And with luck I won't wander into the city's most crime-ridden district like what happened the last time I was set loose in a city by myself…" Joe grumbled to himself.
---
The two walked mostly in comfortable silence, with occasional discussion on possible directions to go from. For the most part, Aisa seemed simply happy to have someone else to walk with her around town.
While walking with the girl, Joe wound up glancing at her crucifix, and it… Fucking hurt to look at it.
That obviously really worried Joe, as it suggested a good number of things. He'd have to share that information with Trevor, 'cause Christ-
A sudden bolt of pain lanced through his head, nearly causing him to recoil on the spot from the surprise of it, though it was minor enough he managed to keep it under control and pass it off as a headache to the girl.
That was worrying.
Additionally, while trying to follow the signage that he'd been pointed to while asking for directions, the two came across a boy that had apparently fallen off a slide or something while playing, and the girl's immediate reaction was to rush to him, crouch at his side, and promptly start using healing magic to heal the scrape.
"Don't cry," She said, kneeling by the boy, "It's just a scrape. You're a boy, after all." She spoke softly with concern. Then, put both her palms over his wounds. Green light started to emanate from her hands, as two silver rings appeared on both her hands. And the wound on the boy's shin shrank and vanished within seconds.
That obviously caught Joe off-guard. And worried him greatly, for a number of reasons. It was quickly becoming clear that escorting this girl to the front door of the church in question would be a… Potentially bad idea.
If that didn't come back to bite her in the ass at some point, he'd be rather surprised as well.
The nun turned up to glance at Joe, "Oh! I'm sorry Joe, force of habit," she lightly said, asking forgiveness for rushing away.
"It's alright." Joe replied with some forced cheer, not wanting to give the impression that he was upset to provide an inkling that he was starting to feel like he'd made a mistake in escorting her around the city, worrying that the local Christian church might- was almost certainly hostile to devils. "Nothing wrong with wanting to help others if you can."
The two continued on their way, Asia unaware of the second thoughts Joe was having. Things became more grim the moment they reached near the church. It was almost immediate. A sudden feeling of discomfort, an adrenaline spike, and a feeling of danger emanating from a direction. A direction that showed a bell tower in the distance.
"Oh!" Said the nun, "I see the church from here!"
Upon setting eyes on the building, Joe felt a deep sense of dread overcame him: goosebumps, sweaty palms, the whole shebang… It wasn't debilitating, but sweet baby Jesus - immediately that blinding spike of pain almost caused him to flinch. He should have seen this coming. Both the headache and the church's aura.
"Alright, you probably got it from here, miss?" Joe asked neutrally.
"Yes!" She replied enthusiastically, "I can take it from here, I wouldn't want to separate you from your friend for too long. I feel I've overstepped already," she worried, giving a quick and awkward bow.
"It's no trouble, really… But I should get back to him now, have a pleasant day, Miss Argento." Joe stated with a small smile as he turned and started moving to retrace his path back to the park. She waved back at him, a happy smile stretched on her face as she watched him walk away.
---
"So, how was the date?" Trevor said by way of greeting once Joe returned. The bearded guy was right where he left him, still passing around the contract flyers.
Joe was briefly taken off-guard by the question, but quickly realised it was just a joke and brushed it off. "Well, that was exceptionally stupid of me, for a few reasons." He replied.
"I'm guessing paying a visit to God's-" The instant he'd said the Lord's name, a vicious headache pierced into his skull. "Ah, fuck!" he cursed, more out of surprise than anything as he clutched his head. "Fucking ow!"
"...Yeah. Same thing happened to me when I just thought J- ...The Son's name in vain, earlier." Joe stated, catching himself before he dropped the big J-Man's name.
"Well this sucks," Trevor groaned. "I just know I'm gonna slip up and say their names again at some point."
"We'll learn our lesson eventually, I imagine…" Joe sighed. "Well, we'd better get back to Rias and report for our obligatory scolding, I guess…"
---
"Don't go near a church ever again." Rias scolded the two on their return. "Churches are hostile territory to us devils." She walked forward, her voice taking a serious pitch. "You'll incite fights between Heaven and us Devils just by stepping in there." She cautioned, "And we don't know when those people will throw light-lances through your hearts."
"Joe… Well, we were just trying to be nice," Trevor spoke up defensively. "And we've kinda lived our whole lives without places like that being hostile. Bit of a drastic change to suddenly accept."
"Without much warning, at that." Joe grumpily added.
Rias sighed, "Then I'll warn you now." She turned and looked at the two sharply."Staying around someone from the church is inviting death." She warned. "Especially since some of the church's exorcists have Sacred Gears of their own."
The president didn't stop, instead leaning off to the side and took a more somber tone. "To exorcise a devil means to annihilate him. Into nothingness." A dangerous glint lit in her eyes, as she repeated. "You turn into nothing. You feel nothing. You can do nothing. Do you know what that's like?"
"Pre-birth oblivion, I'd imagine." Joe dryly replied. "Something I'd rather avoid reverting back to, considering I intend to live forever, personally."
"We got it, Rias," Trevor sighed. "Between the multiple scoldings we've gotten today and the painful reminders of our new… devil-ness, I think we've sufficiently realized we fucked up."
Rias nodded, clearly content that the two had taken her warning with due seriousness. "Sorry if I sounded too upset, I don't want to lose anyone." She took a breath, calming herself and closing her eyes.
A moment passed. Then she returned.
"Well, you've both accomplished your end of the bargain in distributing fliers. Now for mine. A genuine contract." She turned to the white haired girl on the couch. On Koneko's part, she had made almost no effort in studiously ignoring the latest events. "Fortunately, we have just the thing. Koneko was contracted twice for tonight, you two will handle one of them while she handles the other."
"Dank," Trevor said, leaning back into his seat and folding his arms. "So what do we do?"
Rias motioned to Akeno, who took the prompt with stride. The black haired girl stepped lightly to the center of the room, and then a glowing red circle of runes filled the floor under her.
"This is a summoning circle," explained Rias while Akeno vanished from sight. "It will transport you to your summoner."
Rias walked over to where Akeno had stood a moment ago, and the glowing runes returned in full power. Then, she stepped off to the side, leaving the circle active but empty. "Go on, have a try." She motioned to the two.
"Uh, one sec," Trevor spoke up, a touch of worry in his voice. "Do we get to know what our, uh, summoner wants us to do? And how do we get back?"
"Good questions." Joe unhelpfully added.
The president answered their questions dutifully, "You'll never know the wish until you're face to face with the client, and they explain their request. As for returning, I'll handle that for you today."
"Oh boy, two country boys gonna have to try and bumble their way back to school after being teleported to a random location in a big-ass Japanese city. I can't see that going badly in any capacity." Joe very dryly stated.
"There are at least three ways Akeno would have perverted what you just said," Trevor realized.
Yuuto nodded sagely at that from the side.
"...How?" Joe asked, somewhat perplexed by the assertion.
Trevor just shook his head in disappointment.
"Whatever, man," he said in resignation, standing up and walking over the summoning circle. "If you think it's safe, Rias, then I'll go along with it."
Joe shrugged, and proceeded onto the circle himself. "Down the rabbit hole we go." He declared with great resignation.
Power surged from the magic circle and through their bodies, feeding into… something as it crackled to life. Crimson sparkles fluttered around the two men, immediately making the two look rather fabulous, to Joe's great dismay. There was a blinding flash and…
They were still in the clubhouse room, everyone else staring at them. The summoning circle fizzled, and then died.
"...Uh… Oops?" Joe said in confusion.
"... There's a Viagra joke in here somewhere," Trevor sighed.
Rias hummed, "Joe, Trevor… Looks like you can't jump."
---
Which is why the two were speeding downhill on bicycles next.
"This! Is! Bullshit!" Trevor wheezed as he pumped the pedals.
"Then hold onto the hem of my fucking coat and I'll pull you along!" Joe called back, not being particularly bothered by the extended bike ride thanks to his actually pretty okay cardio.
"And lose… my dignity?" Trevor managed. "No… thanks! I'll deal!"
Joe had to make a deliberate effort to not leave Trev in the dust, and more annoyingly, the GPS Rias had provided them wasn't even fucking accurate! It seemed to provide only vague suggestions at best. It was all bullshit, and someone was laughing their heads off at their misery. The two just couldn't quite put their finger on who.
"The fuck do you mean do a U-turn you piece of crap!?" Joe cursed at the defective piece of tech.
"Aren't we fucking devils?!" Trevor whined. "Why do we have to keep doing dumb shit?!"
And then things went bad, as they always do. The air suddenly felt cold and dangerous, the night empty of bystanders, and the sky had turned purple. Which, it clearly wasn't supposed to be that shade of ominous swirling purple.
Joe noticed first, his eyes not being locked shut from physical overexertion.
"Oh shit… Oh SHIT! FIST BUMP, FIST BUMP!" Joe cried out as he hit the brakes of his bike and stopped Trevor, summoning his gauntlet and immediately presenting it to him in a half-panic.
"Fuuuuuuuuuck!" Trevor groaned, skidding to a halt and conjuring his own gauntlet.
"BOOST!" They both cried out together as they abandoned their bikes.
Their fists slammed together, the surge of power flowing through them, just as a figure walked into the light.
"How strange." The woman said, "I don't seem to have the wrong person. But she killed you."
Joe knew full well that the first thing he noticed should not have been her absurd hourglass figure and comically over-sized chest, but fucking hell! ...And she did not look happy to see them.
"... You know, I was kinda joking about the superhero by night thing," Trevor groaned. He'd been doing a lot of groaning lately, he realized. "But I swear to God - Ah, fuck!"
The woman's eyes furrowed, then she gasped. "Devils? Now I see why you both aren't dead. Then I'll finish the job." A yellow spear erupted from her right hand, and she sent it flying without any warning.
Joe and Trevor leapt aside, noting that the spear wasn't moving as quickly as Yuma's had been, which coupled with their newfound power...
The javelin passed by them, fizzling out in the air.
"Okay, another psycho out to kill us," Trevor grunted, standing back up. He raised his gauntleted right arm. The angel stared down at the red gauntlet, noticing it for the first time.
"Stray devils and Sacred Gear…" She muttered. "Fine. All the more reason to end you now!" Another spear of yellow light glowed in her hands.
"Bring it, you fucking Jezebel!" Joe growled, raising his fists with the gauntlet held forward and proceeding to charge at her. The angel flared her wings out, and launched another spear at Joe, missing to his quick sidestep. She took to the air, not wanting to leave herself within punching distance. And all the while failing to notice what Joe's partner was up to.
Meanwhile, Trevor ran to the nearest streetlamp. Praying that his newfound strength would be enough, he firmly grasped it and yanked. The metal screeched in protest, but it gave away, ripping the streetlamp from the ground.
"Oh, fuck yeah," Trevor said with a grin, before pulling it back like a bat. Then, with a shout, he swung hard.
The angel had only a moment to spot the speeding metal pole before it slammed into her and tossed her straight to the side onto the alleyway wall. She crumpled on the ground, slightly stunned before trying to righten herself.
Joe wasted no time in charging at her, winding up a full-force gauntleted haymaker directed full-force at her face. It connected, hard. The angel was tossed again like a ragdoll, but now she'd wisened up. Immediately she rolled on the ground and leapt upwards, using her full wings to give her a boost.
Leaping up at her, Joe reached out and managed to take a hold of her ankle in mid-air, attempting to grab and pin her down for a wailing. The angel did not fuck around with an angry Joe nipping at her heels, she snarled and another yellow lance was drawn in her hands, lifted and ready to impale the weight dragging her down.
Trevor noticed the lance being conjured and cursed as he rushed forward, hastily swinging at her once again before Joe could get hit. It struck her directly in her stomach, knocking her sideways. With the unrelenting Canadian firmly holding onto her ankles, she swung down back onto the ground. Her spear hadn't vanished however, and she blindly tossed it forward at Joe's grasping hands.
Only to have the javelin crack as soon as it connected with the red plate. The force was still enough to break his grip, staggering him.
She immediately crawled away, wings flapping to assist, trying to put distance between her and her assailants and frantically raising back on her feet.
"Leave us the fuck alone already!" Trevor shouted, pointing the streetlamp directly at her. "We're not hurting anyone but you people because you keep trying to kill us!"
She didn't seem to be paying attention as Joe immediately dive-tackled her the moment he regained his footing with a snarl. The angel hadn't left herself defenseless, however, with a dive of her own, she twisted around and launched a desperate yellow spear directly at the lunging Joe. It impacted his chest, knocking him backwards and painfully embedding itself into his right lung.
It hurt a lot more than it did the last time, so much so that Joe couldn't even entertain the thought of ripping it out and throwing it back at her in the few instants it took for it to dissipate on its own. The light seemed to burn at the touch, and it was touching quite a lot of Joe's internals.
If Joe had such eloquent thoughts, he didn't show it as he wordlessly snarled in pain on the ground, clutching at the wound. The adrenaline could only mask so much.
She pulled herself to her feet, focusing her eyes on Trevor. "I made a mistake." The angel admitted. "I should have informed her first of this, and then killed you!"
"If you want to challenge House Gremory, go for it," Trevor shot back. He moved the streetlamp in a defensive stance.
The angel gave Trevor a disbelieving look, a slight drip of blood trailing from her mouth. She had seen better days, that much was obvious from her ruffled black feathers. "House Gremory took you both? This…" She never finished, her eyes had realized something. Instead she turned and flared her wings out, flying into the sky with a running start. No parting words.
Joe tried to move to jump at her again, but only managed to flop onto his chest with a heaving scream as blood rapidly pooled on the ground beneath him while he started incoherently cursing at the top of his lung, the gravity of his grievous injury catching up to him.
It felt like he was drowning, his own blood rapidly filling up lung and stifling his attempts at speech as he reflexively gagged and coughed, his body attempting to futily vacate the fluid. He attempted to push himself to his feet, but could only barely manage to keep his chest off the tarmac.
Trevor watched her go, not quite easing up until she was just a speck in the sky. Finally, his figure sagged, leaning on the streetlamp for support.
"For fuck's sake…" he breathed raggedly, running over to the raging Joe. "Fuck…" Damn it, Joe had been really fucked up in that fight.
He shook his head. Focus. Discipline.
"Joe, I'm going to give you an energy boost, then we are getting the fuck back to Rias," Trevor told him, raising his gauntlet. "After that, we are going to have a god - Ow, fuck! A damn talk about this!"
Trevor aimed his gauntlet and bumped it with together with Joe's. Immediately both gauntlets flared to life once more. A voice called out in both their heads, echoing and deafening at the same time.
"BOOST! TRANSFER!"
Trevor was sent reeling from the sheer power that coursed through his veins, far more than what he'd experienced previously. He felt like he could bench-press a truck. All that immediately disappeared the moment the second word echoed.
It felt as if a bloody veil was lifted from his eyes, and Joe rapidly grew lucid again, his rage subsiding as he regained control of himself, his strength returning to his body.
He no longer felt as if he were on death's door, but his breathing remained ragged, blood still pooling within his lung.
A moment later, the sky's purple haze vanished. No - chased out with vengeance. A malevolent red glow heralded the sense of power coming from behind the two.
Rias had arrived.
========================================================
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theater:
Talking about the girls flirting around with Trevor.
Lucky: They'll probably be coming for you next.
Geoff: Here comes Yuuto.
Lucky & Baka: Nervous laughing intensifies
Trevor tries to uproot a streetlamp.
Lucky: Can I pull a streetlamp off the ground?
Geoff: Uhh Devil power up plus boost…. eh. I'll allow it. Rule of cool.
Lucky: BATTER UP.
Chapter 3: Like A Neutron Star
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
===
Chapter 03 - Like a Neutron Star
===
Rias didn't bother with a grand arrival, instead she simply stalked forward, a furious scowl etched on her face. And that immediately warped into concern the moment her eyes crossed Joe's battered and bloody frame.
In a moment she was at the side of the two. "Are you safe?" She asked, taking a careful look around the scene, searching for danger.
"Considering this is the second night in a row we got ganked and almost killed by a fallen angel, probably not," Trevor groaned, leaning heavily on his lamppost as his adrenaline slowly ebbed away.
Joe just sputtered and coughed up more blood, doubled over and clutching at the wound in his chest.
Rias took one more glance around the area, then put both hands on Joe's chest, where a green glow began to emanate. "It'll stabilize him. But I need to know where the Fallen Angel went." Her voice was on edge, "The others are on their way but they won't be here for a moment."
"She flew off that way," Trevor told her, pointing down the road. "She didn't give us a name or anything, but she quickly ran away when I told her we were from House Gremory."
The president sighed, "Then It's doubtful that she'll return. Keep an eye out for me while I focus on Joe."
Trevor grunted an affirmative, not expecting any more trouble to show up but watching out regardless. He did cast an anxious eye Joe's way, really unhappy with how the fight had ended for him. Even though the wound was slowly sealing itself, the guy looked weak and had taken far worse of a thrashing than he really should have.
Trevor shook his head. The way Joe fought was almost entirely senseless. To be fair, Trevor knew he would've handled it about as well as he had if it weren't for years of discipline drilled into him by his instructor. Still, though…
From the fog three figures began to appear in focus. The pair could recognize the outlines as the rest of Rias's peerage.
The girl herself stood up then turned to Trevor. "I'll create a portal and bring Joe back with me. He needs much more." she curtly stated, keeping her orders quick. "The others will take care of you, Trevor. Joe, I'm putting you to sleep."
She reached down, and with a momentary touch Joe was out cold. A large red magic teleportation circle materialized under her foot next. A moment later both Rias and Joe were spirited away. Leaving Trevor behind.
Of the three, Yuuto was the first to reach Trevor. "I'm glad to see you're mostly unhurt. What happened, exactly?" He asked. Koneko nodded, keeping an eye around. And for once it seemed like Akeno was serious. The change in demeanor was palpable.
"Fallen Angel attacked me and Joe," Trevor reported, suppressing a yawn. "Said similar stuff as the last one, though she seemed surprised about the Sacred Gears. Joe charged right away, which was how he got so fucked up." He blanched at the memory. "I managed to rip out this bad boy," he tapped his hand on the lamppost for emphasis, "And smacked her with it while she was busy fending off Joe."
Koneko looked at the pole, then back at Trevor, seeming to acknowledge his existence for the first time. "Good job." She said almost emotionally, almost.
Trevor quirked a bushy eyebrow, nothing this as the first time she'd actually addressed him. All it took was ripping a lamppost out from the ground with his bare hands, it seemed.
"Thanks," he replied with a snort. "Gotta use your environment, and all that good stuff. Anyway, the angel ran off when I told her we were from House Gremory. And now here we be."
Yuuto looked relieved to hear that. "Still, running into Fallen Angels twice in such a short time... It's discomforting. We haven't had anything foul happen since we enrolled in the academy." He took a moment to reflect. "I don't think this is coincidence. The Fallen Angels are moving in ways we don't understand and that troubles me greatly."
Akeno grinned wickedly at that, flickers of yellow lightning snapped around her hands. "Well, well, I would... enjoy spending some time with them. They have been bullying our rookies after all. That shouldn't go unpunished." The girl ended, with an almost sadistic undertone.
"Is this not, like, an act of war or something like that?" Trevor wondered, scratching his beard. "I'm still a bit confused on how all this faction stuff works out."
Yuuto sighed, "No, she ran once she found out your allegiance. Fallen Angels often hunt down stray devils, so she can say that as a pretext." Then he clarified, "Devils that abandon their master are labeled as strays and hunted down. If a Fallen Angel catches whiff, it's certain that there won't be mercy."
"Okay…" Trevor drawled. "So I just have to flash them the Gremory emblem whenever they try to start shit, and they'll leave us alone?"
Koneko nodded, and Yuuta commented, "Yes, in theory. However… Fallen Angels don't act with such recklessness usually."
Akeno sighed, "It's a pity they don't act up when I'm around~" Then she turned to Trevor. "Well, shall we return home then?"
"Yes, please," Trevor said, not even bothering to hide the yawn. He hefted the lamppost onto his shoulder, making a pleased grunt. "I think I'll just hold onto this. I like it."
Yuuto laughed at that, whereas Koneko seemed to almost… approve? She at least didn't call him an idiot.
---
The occult club had escorted Trevor all the way back to his room, though not before he left his lamppost leaning against the side of the clubhouse. As he expected, Joe wasn't there, still being tended to by Rias. Without further aplomb upon realizing he was finally alone, Trevor stripped down to his boxers and flopped up into his bed.
With time to think, Trevor reflected on just how utterly insane the past two days had been and idly wondered that if he fell asleep tonight, he'd wake up back home. Probably not, though. The pain he'd felt last night would have been more than enough to handle that.
Admittedly, he would have been reacting to this all far worse if he didn't have someone else suffering along with him. Joe was… well, had been only an online friend before, someone he'd never expected to meet face-to-face. But still, a friend was a friend. Having a companion along this wild ride made it far more bearable.
Although he wasn't sure how long that'd last, the way Joe kept trying to fight. The guy might as well have impaled himself on that angel's spears. The only reason Trevor was able to keep a level head during the fight was because all of the angel's attention was off of him and the discipline impressed onto him while being taught Tae Kwon Do. And if he hadn't been there…
Joe might've actually died.
Trevor's face scrunched into a foul expression. They were both damn lucky that angel barely knew how to fight. They couldn't count on being that lucky next time. Shit needed to change.
---
Joe slowly came to consciousness, feeling a lot fucking better than he had last night. As his mind slowly spooled up, it became obvious that he was laying in a remarkably nice bed, silken sheets, pillows, and a mattress that seemed to be just right in terms of firmness and softness.
Then he felt something stirring against him, a warm, remarkably pleasant sensation that he immediately recognized.
Aw shit. He thought internally, realizing he'd somehow managed to trigger that scene after all.
Though a self-admitted prude he may have been, Joe wasn't about to lie; it had been a while since he'd shared a bed with a woman, and Jesus-
"Gah! Fuck!" Joe shouted aloud as he clutched his head in pain at the wayward mention of the big J.C.
Rias stirred, then opened her eyes. "Morning already?" She mumbled out, then stretched. It was clearly evident that the president prefered to sleep in the nude.
Joe would have immediately jumped out of the bed in a likely vain attempt to make the scene less awkward and uncomfortable, but unfortunately, he was completely naked under the sheets for some Gods-
"GAH, FUCK!" Joe cried out in pain again, before immediately rolling over once, realizing that it was a king-sized bed and that he wouldn't fall off of it by placing some distance between them.
Instead of the usual reaction, Rias simply sat upwards, assets bare to the world and looked on at Joe in a curious manner.
Joe turned as red as a tomato at the sight, and after taking a moment to collect himself, sputtering and coughing as he did his best to not stare, he finally addressed her. "Uh, uh, uh…" Okay, he sputtered some more, so would you! "Uhhhhh…"
On her part, the woman on the bed simply asked, "How are you feeling Joe? Your chest, I mean."
"Uhhhhh, uh, I- uh, I mean, uh…" Ten outta ten, HOLY FUCK TEN OUTTA TEN.
A smile stretched on Rias's features. "I see you're energetic in the morning. I'll take that as a good sign you've healed properly." There was no motion to cover up. In effect, she stood up, making her way off the bed. Her waist long red hair streamed behind, covering her back elegantly but having woefully little effect on the other side.
"A-a-" Joe started, his mouth moving faster than his brain. "A-aren't you cold?"
Joe could have kicked himself right then.
Rias stopped in her tracks, taking a curious glance in the air as if contemplating. "Hmmm perhaps a bit now that I'm up." She then glanced at Joe. "And you?"
"Uhhh-" He was thankful to have the silken sheets to cling to right then.
With no answer returning, Rias simply walked over with purpose to a small bundle of her clothing, including underwear. In painstakingly slow motion, she returned to modesty.
Joe noted that he should probably not feel so disappointed by that.
Fully clothed, Rias turned to Joe, flicking her hair out of the way. "Your clothing is by the side drawer, don't be late to class. Otherwise I will be most disappointed." She almost glided towards Joe.
He could only go still like a deer in headlights at her rapid approach.
She reached out, two delicate hands wrapping around Joe's cheeks with care. Leaning forward she whispered in his ear, "You did well. You did very well. And I will not allow Fallen Angels to take away my adorable servants." Then, as if the spell was broken, Rias rose back and walked out the door, only the crimson red hair trailing behind her wake.
Joe sat there for a good long while, his mind struggling to process what had just occurred, when eventually it settled on a reasonable rationalization.
She had no nudity taboo, so there was obviously no ulterior motives behind her actions… So he shouldn't think too deeply about what just happened.
Yeah, that was probably it. Devil culture and all that.
Eventually, once he'd calmed down, Joe hopped out of bed and quickly got dressed… A spare uniform, obviously.
Once he was fully dressed, and took a few moments to compose himself, Joe departed from the ludicrously fancy bedroom and resolved to not think overmuch on what happened.
Which he noted was going to be difficult when he passed by Rias on his way out and noted that he knew exactly what she looked like naked.
Hundred out of hundred, seven outta five! Sweet baby Jesus-
"Gah, fuck!"
----
Before first period classes started, Trevor anxiously waited outside the classroom door, glancing around. When he saw the familiar figure of Joe looming over the rest of the students, he put on a relieved smile and walked over to his friend.
"Glad to see you in better shape," Trevor told him, lightly smacking him on the arm. "Looks like Rias really worked her magic on you, huh?" he asked in a low voice.
Joe immediately turned beet-red again, and started sputtering anew. "Uh, uh, ah, uh…"
Trevor blinked. And then smirked.
"Oh ho ho, what have we here…" he purred.
"We'dbettergototheclubhouse!" Joe immediately blurted out and started speed walking away.
"Classes, dude!" Trevor called after him, smirking all the while. "I'm not getting yelled at again!"
Joe screeched to a halt, noting that he was right, and his blush intensified. "Agh, crap…" He growled.
The sound of a gaggle of girls was heard approaching. And turning the corner, was Rias. Surrounded by chattering girls. She walked with elegant ease.
Joe immediately spun about, trying (and failing) to not think about her nude form as he made a point to not look directly at her. Trevor quirked a brow at the reaction, the smile never quite leaving his face, though it dimmed somewhat when he slowly realized that nothing had actually happened.
This fucking guy.
The president of the Occult club strode forward, walking past the two with only a smile as she continued towards her own classes. In moments, the sound of chatter disappeared to be replaced with the dull monotony of class.
---
"So, uh…" Joe started as the two walked to the clubhouse by their lonesome, the monotony of the school day finally over and done with. "Rias doesn't seem to have a nudity taboo… Or conventional respect for personal space, so it might be wise to ask about Devil culture before any… more misunderstandings happen."
"Hm," Trevor hummed, scratching his side. "Kinda picked up on the latter, what with all the husky whispering in our ears she likes to do. I thought she was just being a flirt, to be honest, but either way it's a good idea. Don't wanna accidentally commit some terrible devil taboo, if devils even have taboos, and mess things up with the only people who even bother helping us."
"Ara ara, you two are resilient~" Akeno greeted, coming behind the pair on their direction to the clubhouse.
"Yo, Akeno," Trevor offered, giving her a little wave, which she returned. "How's it going?"
"'Sup…" Joe distantly began, then realised she would work just fine for questioning. "Oh! Akeno, mind if we ask some questions about Devil culture?"
She tilted her head slightly to the side, "Questions? Hmmm, go ahead~" she answered, walking with the pair up the path. "I hope my answers can satisfy."
Phrasing, Trevor thought jokingly.
"What's the general view devils have on sex stuff?" he asked nonchalantly. Might as well just cut right to it.
"Like… Is there a nudity taboo among Devils, or no?" Joe asked, making a valiant effort to hide his nervousness.
She turned to Joe with a mischievous smile, "That depends on the devil, of course~♩" Then she glanced at Trevor. "After the Great War the population took quite a... dip. In olden times, there were seventy-two houses. Now there are only three. And a few others only meagerly existing. The rest are extinct."
Akeno continued, a small lilt in her voice, "The population is quite low, to compensate devils turned to reincarnated humans such as yourselves to help fill the gap. Old traditional marriages have waned as well~♬"
"Huh," Trevor grunted, nodding at her words. That was a far better and interesting answer than he was expecting, if he were perfectly honest…So devils were in a population crisis of sorts, then? Introducing reincarnated humans certainly made sense, if that were the case. If he remembered right, Yuuta had told them he had been a human once, as well.
Akeno's smile faded for a moment as she added, "Don't ask Rias about the houses or marriage, if you can." The black haired woman took a glance up at the clubhouse, to the window Rias had once looked out of. "That girl has a lot on her mind, it would be cruel to bring such topics up."
With that said, she walked up to the clubhouse doors and entered without another word.
"... Probably a good thing we didn't ask Rias about that stuff, then," Trevor realized, watching her go. "Something else to be mindful of, I suppose."
"Indeed." Joe somewhat bitterly noted, frustrated by the insufficient answer he'd received to his question.
Trevor shrugged. "We best be… Actually, hold on." He stopped, recalling his thoughts from earlier. "... We should also talk to them about actually getting better at fighting with our Sacred Gears. Because, last night? That was a shitshow."
"That would be wise, and I was already planning on asking myself, yes." Joe replied distantly, the thoughts of having nearly died again immediately coming to the forefront of his mind.
Noting that expression on Joe's face, Trevor sighed and shook his head. "Look, man, you probably already know this, but you need to get a grip on that anger of yours," he said. "You fought more like a rabid animal, and we were up against an angel threw spears made of light. Hell, I barely had the presence of mind to get a weapon, and that was only because she was busy with you."
"...Yeah." He responded, just as distantly as before, though with a hint of what sounded like disappointment as he stared forward, his eyes not seeming to focus on anything in particular.
Trevor clicked his tongue. "We all fuck up, man. I got my face shoved into the floor too many times before I finally took the hint and kept a cool head in a fight. When you're typically the weakest guy in the room, like me, you kinda have to fight smart."
"It's difficult to keep calm when dealing with unrepentant psychopaths." Joe grumbled. "How many people have they killed, I wonder…"
"More than I'd care to entertain, most likely," Trevor admitted. "Good thing we're gonna get better at fighting them, right?"
"Yeah…" He agreed, trailing off regardless.
Watching him for a few more moments, Trevor elected to keep quiet from that point on. The bespectacled guy wasn't trying to engage with Joe purely for the sake of it; the efforts served as a distraction of sorts from his own internal issues. Most of it had been bottled up, for now, but he wasn't sure how long that would last. For now, he'd just dive into helping Joe and the devils that had saved them. The constant activity would probably do them both some good.
Inside the club room, Akeno stood by the couch, waiting. She nodded as the two walked in, clearly waiting for someone else. Likely Rias. The rest of the room was silent and empty.
A few moments passed, before the door opened and the president herself arrived. She took a glance at the room, and seemed surprised to see the black haired woman.
"Akeno," Rias stated, "I thought you'd left for home today?"
The girl replied, "The archduke sent a request."
That caught Rias's attention. "A request? Which kind?"
"A stray devil has been chased into our territory," She answered.
The president nodded. "Akeno, contact the others and we'll plan for a night mission." She took a pause to glance at Joe and Trevor, as if contemplating something. Then, mind made up, she barked out, "This will be a good learning experience for the two of you, to see firsthand how Devils fight. You both will be coming with the group. Prepare yourselves."
At that, Rias turned and walked over to the center of the room, where she began to channel a magical pentagram.
If Joe had heard her, he didn't show it as he quietly stared off into the ether, clearly completely lost in his own thoughts.
"Perfect, we were actually just wondering about that ourselves," Trevor said, nodding once. "Should, uh, I bring a weapon?"
Akeno smiled at that, "A stray devil is nothing to be frightened of, I don't believe the president expects you both at the front lines." She took a glance at Rias, who remained in concentration over the glowing red runes. "But, if you want to bring something fun, I'm sure the others will indulge you."
Akeno walked past Trevor, "Just this once, hmm?" She breathed past, leaving the club room.
Aw jeez, he thought.
"Guess I'll be bringing my trusty ol' dented lamppost after all," Trevor decided, standing up so he could go grab his somewhat-phallic weapon after being encouraged by the sexy devil. He hesitated, looking back down at Joe and nudging him with his foot. "Hey man. Show time soon."
Joe visibly jumped at the contact, his hand moving for his side as if to grab at a weapon when he paused. "Oh, shit, I completely zoned out there…" He sighed. "...What's going on?"
"The gang's assembling to beat up a stray devil," Trevor informed him. "We're tagging along to either watch or join in. That's about all I know. I'mma go grab my lamppost just in case."
Though he looked uncomfortable for a moment, Joe replied with a determined nod. "I should bring a weapon as well too, then…" He groaned as he stood up. "Of all the times to not have one of my swords with me…"
Rias paid the two no heed, evidently focusing all of her attention on her magical duties.
"...Maybe one of the others will know where to get a proper weapon around here." Joe stated as he moved to follow Trev out the clubhouse door.
A couple minutes later, Trevor was trying and failing to lift his beloved lamppost from where he'd left it on the side of the clubhouse.
"Ughhhh," he whined, muscles straining as he vainly pulled on the damn thing. "Is it just because I'm not boosted, or it's not night time? … Ugh, whatever."
He looked back, noticing that Akeno, Yuuto, and Koneko were swiftly approaching the clubhouse.
Koneko was wearing what looked like martial arts handwraps, colored to mirror a cat's paw. Yuuto on his end carried a sword at his side. And Akeno simply walked as she always had.
Trevor cast one last longing look at the lamppost before walking over to Koneko. "Hey," he greeted the diminutive girl. "What kind of martial arts style do you use?"
The girl looked up at him, "The winning kind." She answered as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.
Trevor snorted at that response. "Beautiful," he said. "Then I'll be following your lead, then."
Koneko nodded. "Smarter." She approved.
Meanwhile, at the sight of Yuuto approaching with a blade at his side, Joe immediately lit up. "Yoooo, Yuuto! Hook a brother up!" He cried out cheerfully to the blonde.
Yuuto smiled at Joe, clearly aware of where Joe's wondering eyes were firmly embedded on. "Of course. What kind of sword would you like, Joe?" He asked amicably.
"What have you got?" Joe asked, his eyes damn near visibly shining like flood lights.
Yuuta's smile widened knowingly.
------
Yo, please don't post anything to do with Fate/Stay night, Muv Luv or DxD spoilers. Thanks!
------
========================================================
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theater:
On waking up with Rias in bed
Baka: A whole lot of being tormented without mercy by both Geoff and Lucky.
Class, morning after said tormenting events.
Baka: *Executing tactical retreat from Lucky's onslaught into the hallway*
Geoff: You know what I can do because we're in a harem anime?
Baka: ...
Geoff: Here comes Rias down the hallway
Baka: YOU
Chapter 03 - Like a Neutron Star
===
Rias didn't bother with a grand arrival, instead she simply stalked forward, a furious scowl etched on her face. And that immediately warped into concern the moment her eyes crossed Joe's battered and bloody frame.
In a moment she was at the side of the two. "Are you safe?" She asked, taking a careful look around the scene, searching for danger.
"Considering this is the second night in a row we got ganked and almost killed by a fallen angel, probably not," Trevor groaned, leaning heavily on his lamppost as his adrenaline slowly ebbed away.
Joe just sputtered and coughed up more blood, doubled over and clutching at the wound in his chest.
Rias took one more glance around the area, then put both hands on Joe's chest, where a green glow began to emanate. "It'll stabilize him. But I need to know where the Fallen Angel went." Her voice was on edge, "The others are on their way but they won't be here for a moment."
"She flew off that way," Trevor told her, pointing down the road. "She didn't give us a name or anything, but she quickly ran away when I told her we were from House Gremory."
The president sighed, "Then It's doubtful that she'll return. Keep an eye out for me while I focus on Joe."
Trevor grunted an affirmative, not expecting any more trouble to show up but watching out regardless. He did cast an anxious eye Joe's way, really unhappy with how the fight had ended for him. Even though the wound was slowly sealing itself, the guy looked weak and had taken far worse of a thrashing than he really should have.
Trevor shook his head. The way Joe fought was almost entirely senseless. To be fair, Trevor knew he would've handled it about as well as he had if it weren't for years of discipline drilled into him by his instructor. Still, though…
From the fog three figures began to appear in focus. The pair could recognize the outlines as the rest of Rias's peerage.
The girl herself stood up then turned to Trevor. "I'll create a portal and bring Joe back with me. He needs much more." she curtly stated, keeping her orders quick. "The others will take care of you, Trevor. Joe, I'm putting you to sleep."
She reached down, and with a momentary touch Joe was out cold. A large red magic teleportation circle materialized under her foot next. A moment later both Rias and Joe were spirited away. Leaving Trevor behind.
Of the three, Yuuto was the first to reach Trevor. "I'm glad to see you're mostly unhurt. What happened, exactly?" He asked. Koneko nodded, keeping an eye around. And for once it seemed like Akeno was serious. The change in demeanor was palpable.
"Fallen Angel attacked me and Joe," Trevor reported, suppressing a yawn. "Said similar stuff as the last one, though she seemed surprised about the Sacred Gears. Joe charged right away, which was how he got so fucked up." He blanched at the memory. "I managed to rip out this bad boy," he tapped his hand on the lamppost for emphasis, "And smacked her with it while she was busy fending off Joe."
Koneko looked at the pole, then back at Trevor, seeming to acknowledge his existence for the first time. "Good job." She said almost emotionally, almost.
Trevor quirked a bushy eyebrow, nothing this as the first time she'd actually addressed him. All it took was ripping a lamppost out from the ground with his bare hands, it seemed.
"Thanks," he replied with a snort. "Gotta use your environment, and all that good stuff. Anyway, the angel ran off when I told her we were from House Gremory. And now here we be."
Yuuto looked relieved to hear that. "Still, running into Fallen Angels twice in such a short time... It's discomforting. We haven't had anything foul happen since we enrolled in the academy." He took a moment to reflect. "I don't think this is coincidence. The Fallen Angels are moving in ways we don't understand and that troubles me greatly."
Akeno grinned wickedly at that, flickers of yellow lightning snapped around her hands. "Well, well, I would... enjoy spending some time with them. They have been bullying our rookies after all. That shouldn't go unpunished." The girl ended, with an almost sadistic undertone.
"Is this not, like, an act of war or something like that?" Trevor wondered, scratching his beard. "I'm still a bit confused on how all this faction stuff works out."
Yuuto sighed, "No, she ran once she found out your allegiance. Fallen Angels often hunt down stray devils, so she can say that as a pretext." Then he clarified, "Devils that abandon their master are labeled as strays and hunted down. If a Fallen Angel catches whiff, it's certain that there won't be mercy."
"Okay…" Trevor drawled. "So I just have to flash them the Gremory emblem whenever they try to start shit, and they'll leave us alone?"
Koneko nodded, and Yuuta commented, "Yes, in theory. However… Fallen Angels don't act with such recklessness usually."
Akeno sighed, "It's a pity they don't act up when I'm around~" Then she turned to Trevor. "Well, shall we return home then?"
"Yes, please," Trevor said, not even bothering to hide the yawn. He hefted the lamppost onto his shoulder, making a pleased grunt. "I think I'll just hold onto this. I like it."
Yuuto laughed at that, whereas Koneko seemed to almost… approve? She at least didn't call him an idiot.
---
The occult club had escorted Trevor all the way back to his room, though not before he left his lamppost leaning against the side of the clubhouse. As he expected, Joe wasn't there, still being tended to by Rias. Without further aplomb upon realizing he was finally alone, Trevor stripped down to his boxers and flopped up into his bed.
With time to think, Trevor reflected on just how utterly insane the past two days had been and idly wondered that if he fell asleep tonight, he'd wake up back home. Probably not, though. The pain he'd felt last night would have been more than enough to handle that.
Admittedly, he would have been reacting to this all far worse if he didn't have someone else suffering along with him. Joe was… well, had been only an online friend before, someone he'd never expected to meet face-to-face. But still, a friend was a friend. Having a companion along this wild ride made it far more bearable.
Although he wasn't sure how long that'd last, the way Joe kept trying to fight. The guy might as well have impaled himself on that angel's spears. The only reason Trevor was able to keep a level head during the fight was because all of the angel's attention was off of him and the discipline impressed onto him while being taught Tae Kwon Do. And if he hadn't been there…
Joe might've actually died.
Trevor's face scrunched into a foul expression. They were both damn lucky that angel barely knew how to fight. They couldn't count on being that lucky next time. Shit needed to change.
---
Joe slowly came to consciousness, feeling a lot fucking better than he had last night. As his mind slowly spooled up, it became obvious that he was laying in a remarkably nice bed, silken sheets, pillows, and a mattress that seemed to be just right in terms of firmness and softness.
Then he felt something stirring against him, a warm, remarkably pleasant sensation that he immediately recognized.
Aw shit. He thought internally, realizing he'd somehow managed to trigger that scene after all.
Though a self-admitted prude he may have been, Joe wasn't about to lie; it had been a while since he'd shared a bed with a woman, and Jesus-
"Gah! Fuck!" Joe shouted aloud as he clutched his head in pain at the wayward mention of the big J.C.
Rias stirred, then opened her eyes. "Morning already?" She mumbled out, then stretched. It was clearly evident that the president prefered to sleep in the nude.
Joe would have immediately jumped out of the bed in a likely vain attempt to make the scene less awkward and uncomfortable, but unfortunately, he was completely naked under the sheets for some Gods-
"GAH, FUCK!" Joe cried out in pain again, before immediately rolling over once, realizing that it was a king-sized bed and that he wouldn't fall off of it by placing some distance between them.
Instead of the usual reaction, Rias simply sat upwards, assets bare to the world and looked on at Joe in a curious manner.
Joe turned as red as a tomato at the sight, and after taking a moment to collect himself, sputtering and coughing as he did his best to not stare, he finally addressed her. "Uh, uh, uh…" Okay, he sputtered some more, so would you! "Uhhhhh…"
On her part, the woman on the bed simply asked, "How are you feeling Joe? Your chest, I mean."
"Uhhhhh, uh, I- uh, I mean, uh…" Ten outta ten, HOLY FUCK TEN OUTTA TEN.
A smile stretched on Rias's features. "I see you're energetic in the morning. I'll take that as a good sign you've healed properly." There was no motion to cover up. In effect, she stood up, making her way off the bed. Her waist long red hair streamed behind, covering her back elegantly but having woefully little effect on the other side.
"A-a-" Joe started, his mouth moving faster than his brain. "A-aren't you cold?"
Joe could have kicked himself right then.
Rias stopped in her tracks, taking a curious glance in the air as if contemplating. "Hmmm perhaps a bit now that I'm up." She then glanced at Joe. "And you?"
"Uhhh-" He was thankful to have the silken sheets to cling to right then.
With no answer returning, Rias simply walked over with purpose to a small bundle of her clothing, including underwear. In painstakingly slow motion, she returned to modesty.
Joe noted that he should probably not feel so disappointed by that.
Fully clothed, Rias turned to Joe, flicking her hair out of the way. "Your clothing is by the side drawer, don't be late to class. Otherwise I will be most disappointed." She almost glided towards Joe.
He could only go still like a deer in headlights at her rapid approach.
She reached out, two delicate hands wrapping around Joe's cheeks with care. Leaning forward she whispered in his ear, "You did well. You did very well. And I will not allow Fallen Angels to take away my adorable servants." Then, as if the spell was broken, Rias rose back and walked out the door, only the crimson red hair trailing behind her wake.
Joe sat there for a good long while, his mind struggling to process what had just occurred, when eventually it settled on a reasonable rationalization.
She had no nudity taboo, so there was obviously no ulterior motives behind her actions… So he shouldn't think too deeply about what just happened.
Yeah, that was probably it. Devil culture and all that.
Eventually, once he'd calmed down, Joe hopped out of bed and quickly got dressed… A spare uniform, obviously.
Once he was fully dressed, and took a few moments to compose himself, Joe departed from the ludicrously fancy bedroom and resolved to not think overmuch on what happened.
Which he noted was going to be difficult when he passed by Rias on his way out and noted that he knew exactly what she looked like naked.
Hundred out of hundred, seven outta five! Sweet baby Jesus-
"Gah, fuck!"
----
Before first period classes started, Trevor anxiously waited outside the classroom door, glancing around. When he saw the familiar figure of Joe looming over the rest of the students, he put on a relieved smile and walked over to his friend.
"Glad to see you in better shape," Trevor told him, lightly smacking him on the arm. "Looks like Rias really worked her magic on you, huh?" he asked in a low voice.
Joe immediately turned beet-red again, and started sputtering anew. "Uh, uh, ah, uh…"
Trevor blinked. And then smirked.
"Oh ho ho, what have we here…" he purred.
"We'dbettergototheclubhouse!" Joe immediately blurted out and started speed walking away.
"Classes, dude!" Trevor called after him, smirking all the while. "I'm not getting yelled at again!"
Joe screeched to a halt, noting that he was right, and his blush intensified. "Agh, crap…" He growled.
The sound of a gaggle of girls was heard approaching. And turning the corner, was Rias. Surrounded by chattering girls. She walked with elegant ease.
Joe immediately spun about, trying (and failing) to not think about her nude form as he made a point to not look directly at her. Trevor quirked a brow at the reaction, the smile never quite leaving his face, though it dimmed somewhat when he slowly realized that nothing had actually happened.
This fucking guy.
The president of the Occult club strode forward, walking past the two with only a smile as she continued towards her own classes. In moments, the sound of chatter disappeared to be replaced with the dull monotony of class.
---
"So, uh…" Joe started as the two walked to the clubhouse by their lonesome, the monotony of the school day finally over and done with. "Rias doesn't seem to have a nudity taboo… Or conventional respect for personal space, so it might be wise to ask about Devil culture before any… more misunderstandings happen."
"Hm," Trevor hummed, scratching his side. "Kinda picked up on the latter, what with all the husky whispering in our ears she likes to do. I thought she was just being a flirt, to be honest, but either way it's a good idea. Don't wanna accidentally commit some terrible devil taboo, if devils even have taboos, and mess things up with the only people who even bother helping us."
"Ara ara, you two are resilient~" Akeno greeted, coming behind the pair on their direction to the clubhouse.
"Yo, Akeno," Trevor offered, giving her a little wave, which she returned. "How's it going?"
"'Sup…" Joe distantly began, then realised she would work just fine for questioning. "Oh! Akeno, mind if we ask some questions about Devil culture?"
She tilted her head slightly to the side, "Questions? Hmmm, go ahead~" she answered, walking with the pair up the path. "I hope my answers can satisfy."
Phrasing, Trevor thought jokingly.
"What's the general view devils have on sex stuff?" he asked nonchalantly. Might as well just cut right to it.
"Like… Is there a nudity taboo among Devils, or no?" Joe asked, making a valiant effort to hide his nervousness.
She turned to Joe with a mischievous smile, "That depends on the devil, of course~♩" Then she glanced at Trevor. "After the Great War the population took quite a... dip. In olden times, there were seventy-two houses. Now there are only three. And a few others only meagerly existing. The rest are extinct."
Akeno continued, a small lilt in her voice, "The population is quite low, to compensate devils turned to reincarnated humans such as yourselves to help fill the gap. Old traditional marriages have waned as well~♬"
"Huh," Trevor grunted, nodding at her words. That was a far better and interesting answer than he was expecting, if he were perfectly honest…So devils were in a population crisis of sorts, then? Introducing reincarnated humans certainly made sense, if that were the case. If he remembered right, Yuuta had told them he had been a human once, as well.
Akeno's smile faded for a moment as she added, "Don't ask Rias about the houses or marriage, if you can." The black haired woman took a glance up at the clubhouse, to the window Rias had once looked out of. "That girl has a lot on her mind, it would be cruel to bring such topics up."
With that said, she walked up to the clubhouse doors and entered without another word.
"... Probably a good thing we didn't ask Rias about that stuff, then," Trevor realized, watching her go. "Something else to be mindful of, I suppose."
"Indeed." Joe somewhat bitterly noted, frustrated by the insufficient answer he'd received to his question.
Trevor shrugged. "We best be… Actually, hold on." He stopped, recalling his thoughts from earlier. "... We should also talk to them about actually getting better at fighting with our Sacred Gears. Because, last night? That was a shitshow."
"That would be wise, and I was already planning on asking myself, yes." Joe replied distantly, the thoughts of having nearly died again immediately coming to the forefront of his mind.
Noting that expression on Joe's face, Trevor sighed and shook his head. "Look, man, you probably already know this, but you need to get a grip on that anger of yours," he said. "You fought more like a rabid animal, and we were up against an angel threw spears made of light. Hell, I barely had the presence of mind to get a weapon, and that was only because she was busy with you."
"...Yeah." He responded, just as distantly as before, though with a hint of what sounded like disappointment as he stared forward, his eyes not seeming to focus on anything in particular.
Trevor clicked his tongue. "We all fuck up, man. I got my face shoved into the floor too many times before I finally took the hint and kept a cool head in a fight. When you're typically the weakest guy in the room, like me, you kinda have to fight smart."
"It's difficult to keep calm when dealing with unrepentant psychopaths." Joe grumbled. "How many people have they killed, I wonder…"
"More than I'd care to entertain, most likely," Trevor admitted. "Good thing we're gonna get better at fighting them, right?"
"Yeah…" He agreed, trailing off regardless.
Watching him for a few more moments, Trevor elected to keep quiet from that point on. The bespectacled guy wasn't trying to engage with Joe purely for the sake of it; the efforts served as a distraction of sorts from his own internal issues. Most of it had been bottled up, for now, but he wasn't sure how long that would last. For now, he'd just dive into helping Joe and the devils that had saved them. The constant activity would probably do them both some good.
Inside the club room, Akeno stood by the couch, waiting. She nodded as the two walked in, clearly waiting for someone else. Likely Rias. The rest of the room was silent and empty.
A few moments passed, before the door opened and the president herself arrived. She took a glance at the room, and seemed surprised to see the black haired woman.
"Akeno," Rias stated, "I thought you'd left for home today?"
The girl replied, "The archduke sent a request."
That caught Rias's attention. "A request? Which kind?"
"A stray devil has been chased into our territory," She answered.
The president nodded. "Akeno, contact the others and we'll plan for a night mission." She took a pause to glance at Joe and Trevor, as if contemplating something. Then, mind made up, she barked out, "This will be a good learning experience for the two of you, to see firsthand how Devils fight. You both will be coming with the group. Prepare yourselves."
At that, Rias turned and walked over to the center of the room, where she began to channel a magical pentagram.
If Joe had heard her, he didn't show it as he quietly stared off into the ether, clearly completely lost in his own thoughts.
"Perfect, we were actually just wondering about that ourselves," Trevor said, nodding once. "Should, uh, I bring a weapon?"
Akeno smiled at that, "A stray devil is nothing to be frightened of, I don't believe the president expects you both at the front lines." She took a glance at Rias, who remained in concentration over the glowing red runes. "But, if you want to bring something fun, I'm sure the others will indulge you."
Akeno walked past Trevor, "Just this once, hmm?" She breathed past, leaving the club room.
Aw jeez, he thought.
"Guess I'll be bringing my trusty ol' dented lamppost after all," Trevor decided, standing up so he could go grab his somewhat-phallic weapon after being encouraged by the sexy devil. He hesitated, looking back down at Joe and nudging him with his foot. "Hey man. Show time soon."
Joe visibly jumped at the contact, his hand moving for his side as if to grab at a weapon when he paused. "Oh, shit, I completely zoned out there…" He sighed. "...What's going on?"
"The gang's assembling to beat up a stray devil," Trevor informed him. "We're tagging along to either watch or join in. That's about all I know. I'mma go grab my lamppost just in case."
Though he looked uncomfortable for a moment, Joe replied with a determined nod. "I should bring a weapon as well too, then…" He groaned as he stood up. "Of all the times to not have one of my swords with me…"
Rias paid the two no heed, evidently focusing all of her attention on her magical duties.
"...Maybe one of the others will know where to get a proper weapon around here." Joe stated as he moved to follow Trev out the clubhouse door.
A couple minutes later, Trevor was trying and failing to lift his beloved lamppost from where he'd left it on the side of the clubhouse.
"Ughhhh," he whined, muscles straining as he vainly pulled on the damn thing. "Is it just because I'm not boosted, or it's not night time? … Ugh, whatever."
He looked back, noticing that Akeno, Yuuto, and Koneko were swiftly approaching the clubhouse.
Koneko was wearing what looked like martial arts handwraps, colored to mirror a cat's paw. Yuuto on his end carried a sword at his side. And Akeno simply walked as she always had.
Trevor cast one last longing look at the lamppost before walking over to Koneko. "Hey," he greeted the diminutive girl. "What kind of martial arts style do you use?"
The girl looked up at him, "The winning kind." She answered as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.
Trevor snorted at that response. "Beautiful," he said. "Then I'll be following your lead, then."
Koneko nodded. "Smarter." She approved.
Meanwhile, at the sight of Yuuto approaching with a blade at his side, Joe immediately lit up. "Yoooo, Yuuto! Hook a brother up!" He cried out cheerfully to the blonde.
Yuuto smiled at Joe, clearly aware of where Joe's wondering eyes were firmly embedded on. "Of course. What kind of sword would you like, Joe?" He asked amicably.
"What have you got?" Joe asked, his eyes damn near visibly shining like flood lights.
Yuuta's smile widened knowingly.
------
Yo, please don't post anything to do with Fate/Stay night, Muv Luv or DxD spoilers. Thanks!
------
========================================================
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theater:
On waking up with Rias in bed
Baka: A whole lot of being tormented without mercy by both Geoff and Lucky.
Class, morning after said tormenting events.
Baka: *Executing tactical retreat from Lucky's onslaught into the hallway*
Geoff: You know what I can do because we're in a harem anime?
Baka: ...
Geoff: Here comes Rias down the hallway
Baka: YOU
Chapter 4: Famous Last Words
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
===
Chapter 4 - Famous Last Words
===
"Ah, my apologies, I haven't had a chance to tell you what my sacred gear is." Yuuto stated with a knowing grin, presenting an open hand to Joe.
"My sacred gear is named Sword Birth, and it allows me to create an infinite number of demonic blades. So the real question is not what I've got, but what it is you want?" He placed particular emphasis on the 'demonic' bit, the taller brunette couldn't help but notice, as a splendid European longsword materialized in his open hand.
Joe was quiet for a few moments as he processed what he'd heard, then he started giggling, almost manically.
Then outright manically while greedily rubbing his hands together as if he was trying to generate a spark using just his palms.
Trevor, who'd been facing Koneko at the time, had his ears perk up at the sound of his friend's creepy laughter and turned to give him a concerned look.
Akeno covers her mouth with one hand, "My what enthusiasm.~♫"
There was a flash of red light from Rias's direction, and they looked to see a massive pentagram arranged with runes emblazoned on the front lawn of the clubhouse. She turned to them.
"The transportation circle is complete; everyone step on once you are ready," Rias told everyone in a serious tone, before facing her newest Peerage members. "Trevor, Joe, I know that it did not work last time, but that was because you two don't have any innate magic whatsoever. Since I am going with you, I will be able to power the journey for its entirety."
Trevor nodded at that and followed Koneko's lead to the circle.
"One yataghan, please!" Joe joyfully requested with a wide smile.
The longsword in Yuuto's hand dissolved into the air, though his smile remained. "Ah, I see you are a man of taste." He said with a pleased grin as a black-bladed yataghan with a golden handle materialized in its place. He flourished it like a boss, flipping it around and presenting it to Joe with a wry grin.
Joe, for his part, was clearly ecstatic to take the forward-curved, incredibly ornate guardless chopping sword in his hand.
He couldn't help but notice how surprisingly heavy it was for a sword.
"It normal for demonic blades to be so heavy?" He asked curiously.
Yuuto got a mischievous glint in his eye at the question.
"No, no it isn't." He declared as he stepped into the teleportation circle.
"Oy vey…" Joe sighed, testing the blade with a light spin, and finding it to not be terribly overweight with his newfound demonic strength backing up his natural size.
At that, he stepped into the portal himself.
Once they were all assembled, Rias raised her arms and began to-
-She paused. Her beautiful face scrunched into an uncertain mien. She turned towards the two foreign students, and began to speak, her voice clouded with worry.
"Joe, Trevor...I think that it would be a valuable learning experience for the two of you to come and watch this, but after the events of last night, I wouldn't blame you if you chose to remain behind. None of us would."
Trevor and Joe exchanged a look, and the bearded one was the first to respond. "... Honestly, I think it's safe to say that the both of us would rather pull our own weight around here after that shitshow last night," Trevor told Rias. "So we're coming."
Akeno tittered mischievously, a wide grin spreading from behind her hand.
At Trevor's words, Joe was reminded of Death Stranding, and couldn't help himself. "And I'll keep coming…" He breathed in a sing-song voice.
"Don't make promises you can't keep.~" Responded Akeno, an almost predatory grin plastered across her features, to Joe's chagrin as even he caught that double-entendre, but only after he threw fuel on the fire. Trevor just snorted at the joke.
Rias turned an almost pained look on her old friend, eliciting only further amusement from the raven-haired beauty. She turned back to face the entirety of the Occult Club, now looking far more sure of herself. Her voice snapped out, demanding attention.
"Listen up everybody! We're teleporting to the front of a house that is the suspected nest of a rogue devil! One that's been hunting and eating innocent people. As the highest ranking devils in this town, it falls to us to eliminate this rabid dog!"
From her raised hands, a pair of smaller red circles formed in mid-air. The massive glyph beneath the club members feet blazed with light, and Joe and Trevor found themselves blinded. Their stomachs dropped as though they were in an elevator, and when they opened their eyes again, they found themselves standing in front of a large, worn down house, shattered windows and ivy-choked cobblestones that gave the quaint house a menacing air.
Next to Trevor, Koneko reached up and rubbed at her nose, a disdainful look on her cool face.
"Ugh. The stench of blood…"
Joe blinked. "I don't smell any blood." He declared, sniffing the crisp night air. "And I've butchered wild game before, so I imagine I'd recognize it, unless I've got still got like, shitty human smell."
Yuuto turned slightly to face his fellow swordsman, the same gentle smile that normally occupied his face still intact.
"You don't need to worry about that sort of thing Joe, I don't smell anything either, Koneko has a very developed sense of smell is all."
If it was possible to preen while remaining completely stone-faced, than it would be said that Koneko did so.
"...Impressive." Joe nodded, while casting Koneko an intrigued look.
"Joe, Trevor. Pay attention." Rias said, drawing attention to where she stood at the door of the house, Akeno at her shoulder with her usual amused smirk.
"Since we're going to be in combat soon, it's important that I explain to you the traits of our servants."
She pushed the door open and walked inside, motioning for the others to follow.
They all did so, not wishing to stray from the people who actually knew what they were doing.
The interior of the house was just as worn down and dilapidated as the outside, broken floorboards and shattered furniture littering the floor, with a heavy stench of mildew and decay hanging in the air like a noxious cloud.
The members of the club fanned out, slowly looking into the various rooms of the house.
Joe made a specific point to look up the ceiling while scanning for traps and whatnot as he held his sword at the ready, rather than simply looking about the hallway like a purely horizontally-minded plebeian would. No, Joe thought in the third dimension!
"I've already told you about the relationship between the Devils, Fallen, and Angels. After the war, we were all thoroughly exhausted. Centuries of fighting had reduced our once mighty numbers to a fraction of what they once were. The Devils especially suffered from our losses. Entire families of Pure-Blooded devils were wiped out. In order to recover, Ajuka Beelzebub created a process known as the Evil Pieces."
"... Why did they have to call it that?" Trevor wondered aloud while Joe grimaced at the terrible name himself.
Rias looked embarrassed, turning her head slightly away as a faint blush spread across her face.
"Certain devils thought the name sounded cool. ANYWAYS! I'm assuming the two of you know what chess is?" The redhead continued.
Both nodded, albeit rather dryly.
"Well, each of the Evil Pieces matches up with a piece from chess. Just as every chess piece has its own traits, so too does every Evil Piece. As such, each devil will undergo training that complements them. The abilities aren't exactly varied, but they are quite powerful. The Evil Pieces under a Devil's command are known as a Peerage, with the Devil at the head representing the King."
She turned her head around to face the two newest members more directly, a small smile on her face.
"It's become extremely popular! There's actually a formal competition system in place where Devils battle each other with the aid of their Evil Pieces, known as the Rating Games. It's become so popular that the outcome of a game can impact a Devil's standing among their peers."
Trevor quirked an eyebrow. "Well that's a tournament arc if I've ever heard of one," he said drolly as Joe just groaned under his breath.
Rias broke into a grin, giggling slightly at the obvious dismay on her underling's faces.
"I'm still not a mature Devil yet, so you shouldn't have to worry about that sort of thing for years. Besides, Tournament Arcs aren't always terrible!"
Joe's eyes widened at that, while Trevor did a double-take. "Wait a minute," The taller man began. "You watch anime?"
Rias blushed furiously and turned away, as Akeno, sensing weakness, loomed over her with a delighted grin.
"Of course, the President chose to establish her territory in Japan for a reason after all~"
"That's actually pretty funny and cool," Trevor noted with a laugh.
Meanwhile, Joe was attempting to suppress a chuckle. "Wasn't expecting to find out we actually have a shared interest with our noble mistress…"
"A-anyways!" Rias stammered, blushing almost as red as her hair, "To be a participant in a rating game you have to meet certain requirements, so you don't need to worry about that."
She marched forwards down the hall, the rest of the club trailing behind her. She pushed open a door and stepped forwards, still half-turned back towards the rest of the club.
"Joe, Trevor, you two are-"
She stopped. Going suddenly still as the sickening stench of blood and rot washed over the club members like a physical wall. Trevor slammed his mouth shut at the foul stink, quickly plugging his nose.
Joe, for his part, recognized the stank immediately. Rotting bodies. Coming across a days-old dead animal was never fun when on a hike. Worse yet, this stink was trapped in the damned building. He was immediately at the ready, prepared to strike out at a moment's notice.
Koneko shot a sideways glance at Joe, holding onto her nose with one hand. "Told you." she deadpanned.
Joe nodded once in response.
"Never doubted you," Trevor grumbled, his voice sounding nasally. "Nor do I envy you, for that matter."
"Mph." affirmed the snowy-haired petite girl.
From the dark murk of the room, a darkness that somehow not even the night vision the two friends had gained since becoming devil's was able to pierce, came a voice, tinged with madness, crooning like a lover.
"Such a lovely scent..."
Rias strode forwards into the room, her hands on her hips and her chest thrust forward, a fierce expression on her face.
"Rogue Devil Viser! We're here to destroy you!"
A sudden movement from above caught Joe's eye, and he snapped his head upwards, memories of cougars flashing through his mind.
A humanoid shape was dropping towards them from the ceiling.
Joe leapt back, cursing and wondering how the hell he'd completely failed to notice that thing while he was actively scanning the ceiling.
With a meaty smack, the disembodied upper-half of a woman's corpse landed on the ground in a splatter of blood. Everything from her waist down was gone, and it looked as though she had been gnawed on by some type of carnivore, the blood splashing onto the wall next to the tall man.
Once he recognized the shape, fury nearly overtook Joe. A murdered innocent...
"Jesus Chri-OW!" Trevor snapped, cradling his head as yet another piercing migraine from slipping up occurred. "Fucking hell!"
"What a nice scent…" came the voice, as a figure suddenly emerged from the darkness, much higher up than a normal person standing would be. A figure that was noticeably fondling herself.
Trevor regarded her, ready to… He froze at the absurd sight. "Uh…" he drawled, looking very confused. "What the fuck?"
"You hair is such a lovely red... if I slice you open...will your insides be just as red?"
The woman mumbled, her voice distorted slightly even now that she was in view. Trevor and Joe stared in a mix of disgust and awe as she drew forwards out of the darkness, exposing the rest of her body.
Joe's fury was quelled as he took in the full… horror of what stood before them. An abomination straight out of Dark Souls, woman from the hips up, everything else a… monstrosity.
Trevor's eyes bulged, unsure of how he should be feeling about the beast before them. She looked like a giant chimera with the lion's head replaced with a woman's upper torso, the immense forearms on lower body armed with blood-stained nails the size of his own arms. A snake the size of a bus snapped from behind, hungrily staring them all down. On one hand, it was pants-wettingly terrifying that such a monster was all too eager to kill them all. On the other hand…
Damn, that actually looks kinda rad, he admitted internally, trying his hardest to suppress his geeking out over bonafide monsters.
"What a disgusting appearance." Came Rias's voice from where she stood at the head of the club members, seeming entirely unconcerned with the massive form in front of her.
"It suits you perfectly well."
"You little bitch...I'm going to paint you as red as your hair!" The disgusting abomination snarled.
The massive snake tail whipped towards the teenagers, jaws open wide.
"Yuuto!"
"Yes President!"
From where he stood at Joe's side, the blond walked forwards, swords at his sides, as calm as they had ever seen him. Rias turned towards the two newest members of the occult club, ignoring the gargantuan serpent coiled to strike at her unprotected back
"Joe, Trevor, just stand back and watch." She commanded the two.
With the way things stood, Joe felt no great desire to protest the order. Neither did Trevor, who was still staring at the monstrosity trying to figure out how the damn thing worked.
The snake lunged forwards, fangs open wide and visibly dripping with poison.
Suddenly, there was a blur of movement from where Yuuto stood, and he vanished, the Snake's head suddenly flying away from the rest of the body in a spray of blood, Yuuto touching down on the floor lightly, blades slick in the faint light.
"Yuuto's role is that of the Knight. Whose main attribute is speed. Combined with his blades, he's a deadly opponent." Rias stated confidently.
"YOU LITTLE ANT!" The Rogue Devil screeched, raising one of its massive front limbs to crush the blond beneath its weight. At Trevor's side, the short form of Koneko rushed forwards.
The foot came down with a crash, a cloud of dust thrown into the air as the massive paw slammed into the spot where Yuuto and Koneko had just been standing.
"Aw shit-" Joe immediately grumbled at the sight of the two being stomped, but stopped once he noticed Rias' complete lack of concern .
"We're so fucking out of our league right now, dude," Trevor groaned, shoulders slumping.
"For now." Joe growled.
"Don't worry." came Rias's voice, with the same calm she had displayed since entering the room. "Koneko's role-"
The Behemoth creature suddenly began to move, the paw lifting upwards as though something was pushing on it from beneath, the human face contorting into a look of shock and surprise. As the paw lifted from the ground, it revealed the short form of Koneko, as stone-faced as she always was, standing beneath the twisted hand, holding it up seemingly without breaking a sweat.
"-Is the Rook." Rias finished, a hint of smugness creeping into her voice. "Rook's are granted incredible strength and durability."
Koneko shifted her weight, drawing her arms back in what Trevor recognized as the preparation for a throw.
"Enh." With an utterly unenthusiastic 'kia,' Koneko tossed the gargantuan monster like a ragdoll, its bulk slamming into the the far wall of the building, leaving a noticeable crater.
Trevor's expression became one of utter awe, his jaw dropping. "... Am… Am I the only one that found that kinda hot?" he asked, not sure of what else to offer.
"Oh jeez, this is so anime it hurts." Joe nervously chuckled at the casual display of raw power.
"Pervert." Koneko deadpanned, not even looking over towards where the rest of the club members were standing. Trevor simply shrugged at that. Koneko cracked her neck slightly as she stood there.
"So weak.." she mumbled under her breath, looking slightly disappointed.
"You...You BRATS!" Viser screamed, drawing itself up on extremely shaky legs. She reached for her chest, and then…
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Joe and Trevor cried out in perfect unison as they scrambled out of the way of the sizzling, purple liquid's path. It began rapidly dissolving the wood of the building where it struck, bubbling away like a powerful acid on the ground.
"GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS!" Trevor screamed. Damn it, I thought you were actually kinda cool until you started doing this shit!
"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!?" Joe shouted again, trying to process what in fuck's name he was witnessing.
Rias stood slightly to the side of where she previously was, with a slightly disgusted look on her face.
"Akeno...your turn." she said, lip curling slightly.
"Yes President~." the ravenette replied, seeming entirely unconcerned with the sight that Joe and Trevor were sure would wind up giving them nightmares. She stalked forwards on her heels, the air beginning to faintly crackle around her.
"As I was saying," Rias said, her calm demeanour now back in place. "Akeno's role is that of the Queen."
Viser was visibly struggling to stay upright, beaten and bloody.
"Unforgivable.."
As Trevor and Joe watched, a shadow seemed to fall over Akeno's eyes, casting her entire face in a sinister mien. A wicked light seemed to gleam in her gaze, and she stared at the rogue devil with a smirk twisting its way onto her face.
"My my, still so energetic~." she said, sounding far more malevolent than it normally did in her interactions with the high school students.
"If that's the case... than this level of attack should be fine, right?" She said, as a crackling bolt of lightning suddenly sprang into existence within her fingertips.
"She's also a hardcore Sadist." Rias deadpanned.
"Shocker," Trevor drawled.
"Oh jeez…" Joe nervously groaned.
The form of Viser jerked and spasmed as Akeno poured more and more lightning into it, cutting off when it fell to the ground in a twitching heap.
"Oh come on, you have more than that left in you, right~?"
Trevor winced as the screaming started up again; he could swear he saw Akeno lick her lips in glee. Maybe I shouldn't play along with her flirting as much anymore...
"The Queen has access to all the traits of the other Evil Pieces", Rias continued in a total deadpan, "But Akeno specializes in fighting her opponents with Offensive Magic empowered by the Bishop aspect."
Yuuto walked up to the side of Joe and Trevor with his normal gentle smile.
"It's alright, the Vice President is very gentle with her allies."
A statement that would have been more reassuring if the two teenagers couldn't still hear the Rogue Devil screaming in the background.
Joe gave Yuuto a very dull look, but otherwise didn't say anything as Akeno was very clearly getting off on tormenting the Rogue Devil just a few feet away. Trevor was busy silently reconsidering his priorities.
"Ara ara, it seems that wasn't quite enough~." Akeno said as she drifted back over towards the members of the Occult Research club, her cheeks still somewhat flushed. "I'll just have to let the President get the final blow~"
Rias nodded and walked forwards, her eyes shadowed beneath her crimson bangs.
"Rogue Devil Viser. Do you have any last words?" she asked, her voice as sharp and hard as flint.
"Kill...me…" The Rogue Devil pleaded, sincerely.
"Well then." Rias started.
Trevor couldn't be sure, but for a second, he could swear that Rias's eyes began to glow a deep, crimson red, cat-like slits cutting through the darkness of the room. He blinked, and it was gone.
What wasn't gone however, was the massive pulsating orb of red and black light that sat in Rias's open palm, a writhing sphere of crackling blood-coloured light that seemed to draw the very air around it inwards.
"Dust to Dust."
She thrust her hand forwards, and the orb expanded dramatically, swallowing the charred husk of Viser whole. The members of the Occult Research club all averted their eyes, and when they looked back, the rogue devil was gone. A massive hole carved into the stone of the floor, tiny pieces of rubble falling inwards from the sides.
Rias turned back around, a gentle smile on her face.
"It's over everybody, good job."
Trevor blinked dumbly at the casual display of absurd power he'd just witnessed. "That was both utterly terrifying," he said slowly. "And ridiculously kickass."
Joe glanced between the Devils, a grin beginning to form on his face. "That was awesome." He asserted. "Like God- Gah, fuck!" He cried out, his free hand meeting his now aching head.
===
Luckychaos & BakaSmurf Reaction Theatre! -
===
BakaSmurf: *Sees the rating games* "Oh god. Oh god. Oh gaaaawd!
King: "Tournament Arc's Boyos!"
Luckychaos: "That was redundant."
BakaSmurf: "Your face is redundant."
Luckychaos: "Prove it, pussy. You literally can't."
BakaSmurf: "BRB, retconning your relationship with Meiya."
Luckychaos: *Sighs wistfully* "Well, I'll always have the memories."
BakaSmurf: "TOO BAD SHE WON'T!"
Luckychaos: "SHE ALREADY DOESN'T!"
BakaSmurf: *Baka starts painfully choking, he's laughing so hard* "Holy fuck, that was so savage I literally hurt myself!"
King: "I felt pain from that, Jesus."
AN: And there it is everybody, the first new chapter since this fic got officially adopted. There were some growing pains, but we all agreed it turned out nice enough that I DON'T need to get axed! Hooray!
I hope I don't need to remind anybody, but since we don't have a banner yet, and this IS a new thread, ABSOLUTELY. NO. SPOILERS.
Chapter 4 - Famous Last Words
===
"Ah, my apologies, I haven't had a chance to tell you what my sacred gear is." Yuuto stated with a knowing grin, presenting an open hand to Joe.
"My sacred gear is named Sword Birth, and it allows me to create an infinite number of demonic blades. So the real question is not what I've got, but what it is you want?" He placed particular emphasis on the 'demonic' bit, the taller brunette couldn't help but notice, as a splendid European longsword materialized in his open hand.
Joe was quiet for a few moments as he processed what he'd heard, then he started giggling, almost manically.
Then outright manically while greedily rubbing his hands together as if he was trying to generate a spark using just his palms.
Trevor, who'd been facing Koneko at the time, had his ears perk up at the sound of his friend's creepy laughter and turned to give him a concerned look.
Akeno covers her mouth with one hand, "My what enthusiasm.~♫"
There was a flash of red light from Rias's direction, and they looked to see a massive pentagram arranged with runes emblazoned on the front lawn of the clubhouse. She turned to them.
"The transportation circle is complete; everyone step on once you are ready," Rias told everyone in a serious tone, before facing her newest Peerage members. "Trevor, Joe, I know that it did not work last time, but that was because you two don't have any innate magic whatsoever. Since I am going with you, I will be able to power the journey for its entirety."
Trevor nodded at that and followed Koneko's lead to the circle.
"One yataghan, please!" Joe joyfully requested with a wide smile.
The longsword in Yuuto's hand dissolved into the air, though his smile remained. "Ah, I see you are a man of taste." He said with a pleased grin as a black-bladed yataghan with a golden handle materialized in its place. He flourished it like a boss, flipping it around and presenting it to Joe with a wry grin.
Joe, for his part, was clearly ecstatic to take the forward-curved, incredibly ornate guardless chopping sword in his hand.
He couldn't help but notice how surprisingly heavy it was for a sword.
"It normal for demonic blades to be so heavy?" He asked curiously.
Yuuto got a mischievous glint in his eye at the question.
"No, no it isn't." He declared as he stepped into the teleportation circle.
"Oy vey…" Joe sighed, testing the blade with a light spin, and finding it to not be terribly overweight with his newfound demonic strength backing up his natural size.
At that, he stepped into the portal himself.
Once they were all assembled, Rias raised her arms and began to-
-She paused. Her beautiful face scrunched into an uncertain mien. She turned towards the two foreign students, and began to speak, her voice clouded with worry.
"Joe, Trevor...I think that it would be a valuable learning experience for the two of you to come and watch this, but after the events of last night, I wouldn't blame you if you chose to remain behind. None of us would."
Trevor and Joe exchanged a look, and the bearded one was the first to respond. "... Honestly, I think it's safe to say that the both of us would rather pull our own weight around here after that shitshow last night," Trevor told Rias. "So we're coming."
Akeno tittered mischievously, a wide grin spreading from behind her hand.
At Trevor's words, Joe was reminded of Death Stranding, and couldn't help himself. "And I'll keep coming…" He breathed in a sing-song voice.
"Don't make promises you can't keep.~" Responded Akeno, an almost predatory grin plastered across her features, to Joe's chagrin as even he caught that double-entendre, but only after he threw fuel on the fire. Trevor just snorted at the joke.
Rias turned an almost pained look on her old friend, eliciting only further amusement from the raven-haired beauty. She turned back to face the entirety of the Occult Club, now looking far more sure of herself. Her voice snapped out, demanding attention.
"Listen up everybody! We're teleporting to the front of a house that is the suspected nest of a rogue devil! One that's been hunting and eating innocent people. As the highest ranking devils in this town, it falls to us to eliminate this rabid dog!"
From her raised hands, a pair of smaller red circles formed in mid-air. The massive glyph beneath the club members feet blazed with light, and Joe and Trevor found themselves blinded. Their stomachs dropped as though they were in an elevator, and when they opened their eyes again, they found themselves standing in front of a large, worn down house, shattered windows and ivy-choked cobblestones that gave the quaint house a menacing air.
Next to Trevor, Koneko reached up and rubbed at her nose, a disdainful look on her cool face.
"Ugh. The stench of blood…"
Joe blinked. "I don't smell any blood." He declared, sniffing the crisp night air. "And I've butchered wild game before, so I imagine I'd recognize it, unless I've got still got like, shitty human smell."
Yuuto turned slightly to face his fellow swordsman, the same gentle smile that normally occupied his face still intact.
"You don't need to worry about that sort of thing Joe, I don't smell anything either, Koneko has a very developed sense of smell is all."
If it was possible to preen while remaining completely stone-faced, than it would be said that Koneko did so.
"...Impressive." Joe nodded, while casting Koneko an intrigued look.
"Joe, Trevor. Pay attention." Rias said, drawing attention to where she stood at the door of the house, Akeno at her shoulder with her usual amused smirk.
"Since we're going to be in combat soon, it's important that I explain to you the traits of our servants."
She pushed the door open and walked inside, motioning for the others to follow.
They all did so, not wishing to stray from the people who actually knew what they were doing.
The interior of the house was just as worn down and dilapidated as the outside, broken floorboards and shattered furniture littering the floor, with a heavy stench of mildew and decay hanging in the air like a noxious cloud.
The members of the club fanned out, slowly looking into the various rooms of the house.
Joe made a specific point to look up the ceiling while scanning for traps and whatnot as he held his sword at the ready, rather than simply looking about the hallway like a purely horizontally-minded plebeian would. No, Joe thought in the third dimension!
"I've already told you about the relationship between the Devils, Fallen, and Angels. After the war, we were all thoroughly exhausted. Centuries of fighting had reduced our once mighty numbers to a fraction of what they once were. The Devils especially suffered from our losses. Entire families of Pure-Blooded devils were wiped out. In order to recover, Ajuka Beelzebub created a process known as the Evil Pieces."
"... Why did they have to call it that?" Trevor wondered aloud while Joe grimaced at the terrible name himself.
Rias looked embarrassed, turning her head slightly away as a faint blush spread across her face.
"Certain devils thought the name sounded cool. ANYWAYS! I'm assuming the two of you know what chess is?" The redhead continued.
Both nodded, albeit rather dryly.
"Well, each of the Evil Pieces matches up with a piece from chess. Just as every chess piece has its own traits, so too does every Evil Piece. As such, each devil will undergo training that complements them. The abilities aren't exactly varied, but they are quite powerful. The Evil Pieces under a Devil's command are known as a Peerage, with the Devil at the head representing the King."
She turned her head around to face the two newest members more directly, a small smile on her face.
"It's become extremely popular! There's actually a formal competition system in place where Devils battle each other with the aid of their Evil Pieces, known as the Rating Games. It's become so popular that the outcome of a game can impact a Devil's standing among their peers."
Trevor quirked an eyebrow. "Well that's a tournament arc if I've ever heard of one," he said drolly as Joe just groaned under his breath.
Rias broke into a grin, giggling slightly at the obvious dismay on her underling's faces.
"I'm still not a mature Devil yet, so you shouldn't have to worry about that sort of thing for years. Besides, Tournament Arcs aren't always terrible!"
Joe's eyes widened at that, while Trevor did a double-take. "Wait a minute," The taller man began. "You watch anime?"
Rias blushed furiously and turned away, as Akeno, sensing weakness, loomed over her with a delighted grin.
"Of course, the President chose to establish her territory in Japan for a reason after all~"
"That's actually pretty funny and cool," Trevor noted with a laugh.
Meanwhile, Joe was attempting to suppress a chuckle. "Wasn't expecting to find out we actually have a shared interest with our noble mistress…"
"A-anyways!" Rias stammered, blushing almost as red as her hair, "To be a participant in a rating game you have to meet certain requirements, so you don't need to worry about that."
She marched forwards down the hall, the rest of the club trailing behind her. She pushed open a door and stepped forwards, still half-turned back towards the rest of the club.
"Joe, Trevor, you two are-"
She stopped. Going suddenly still as the sickening stench of blood and rot washed over the club members like a physical wall. Trevor slammed his mouth shut at the foul stink, quickly plugging his nose.
Joe, for his part, recognized the stank immediately. Rotting bodies. Coming across a days-old dead animal was never fun when on a hike. Worse yet, this stink was trapped in the damned building. He was immediately at the ready, prepared to strike out at a moment's notice.
Koneko shot a sideways glance at Joe, holding onto her nose with one hand. "Told you." she deadpanned.
Joe nodded once in response.
"Never doubted you," Trevor grumbled, his voice sounding nasally. "Nor do I envy you, for that matter."
"Mph." affirmed the snowy-haired petite girl.
From the dark murk of the room, a darkness that somehow not even the night vision the two friends had gained since becoming devil's was able to pierce, came a voice, tinged with madness, crooning like a lover.
"Such a lovely scent..."
Rias strode forwards into the room, her hands on her hips and her chest thrust forward, a fierce expression on her face.
"Rogue Devil Viser! We're here to destroy you!"
A sudden movement from above caught Joe's eye, and he snapped his head upwards, memories of cougars flashing through his mind.
A humanoid shape was dropping towards them from the ceiling.
Joe leapt back, cursing and wondering how the hell he'd completely failed to notice that thing while he was actively scanning the ceiling.
With a meaty smack, the disembodied upper-half of a woman's corpse landed on the ground in a splatter of blood. Everything from her waist down was gone, and it looked as though she had been gnawed on by some type of carnivore, the blood splashing onto the wall next to the tall man.
Once he recognized the shape, fury nearly overtook Joe. A murdered innocent...
"Jesus Chri-OW!" Trevor snapped, cradling his head as yet another piercing migraine from slipping up occurred. "Fucking hell!"
"What a nice scent…" came the voice, as a figure suddenly emerged from the darkness, much higher up than a normal person standing would be. A figure that was noticeably fondling herself.
Trevor regarded her, ready to… He froze at the absurd sight. "Uh…" he drawled, looking very confused. "What the fuck?"
"You hair is such a lovely red... if I slice you open...will your insides be just as red?"
The woman mumbled, her voice distorted slightly even now that she was in view. Trevor and Joe stared in a mix of disgust and awe as she drew forwards out of the darkness, exposing the rest of her body.
Joe's fury was quelled as he took in the full… horror of what stood before them. An abomination straight out of Dark Souls, woman from the hips up, everything else a… monstrosity.
Trevor's eyes bulged, unsure of how he should be feeling about the beast before them. She looked like a giant chimera with the lion's head replaced with a woman's upper torso, the immense forearms on lower body armed with blood-stained nails the size of his own arms. A snake the size of a bus snapped from behind, hungrily staring them all down. On one hand, it was pants-wettingly terrifying that such a monster was all too eager to kill them all. On the other hand…
Damn, that actually looks kinda rad, he admitted internally, trying his hardest to suppress his geeking out over bonafide monsters.
"What a disgusting appearance." Came Rias's voice from where she stood at the head of the club members, seeming entirely unconcerned with the massive form in front of her.
"It suits you perfectly well."
"You little bitch...I'm going to paint you as red as your hair!" The disgusting abomination snarled.
The massive snake tail whipped towards the teenagers, jaws open wide.
"Yuuto!"
"Yes President!"
From where he stood at Joe's side, the blond walked forwards, swords at his sides, as calm as they had ever seen him. Rias turned towards the two newest members of the occult club, ignoring the gargantuan serpent coiled to strike at her unprotected back
"Joe, Trevor, just stand back and watch." She commanded the two.
With the way things stood, Joe felt no great desire to protest the order. Neither did Trevor, who was still staring at the monstrosity trying to figure out how the damn thing worked.
The snake lunged forwards, fangs open wide and visibly dripping with poison.
Suddenly, there was a blur of movement from where Yuuto stood, and he vanished, the Snake's head suddenly flying away from the rest of the body in a spray of blood, Yuuto touching down on the floor lightly, blades slick in the faint light.
"Yuuto's role is that of the Knight. Whose main attribute is speed. Combined with his blades, he's a deadly opponent." Rias stated confidently.
"YOU LITTLE ANT!" The Rogue Devil screeched, raising one of its massive front limbs to crush the blond beneath its weight. At Trevor's side, the short form of Koneko rushed forwards.
The foot came down with a crash, a cloud of dust thrown into the air as the massive paw slammed into the spot where Yuuto and Koneko had just been standing.
"Aw shit-" Joe immediately grumbled at the sight of the two being stomped, but stopped once he noticed Rias' complete lack of concern .
"We're so fucking out of our league right now, dude," Trevor groaned, shoulders slumping.
"For now." Joe growled.
"Don't worry." came Rias's voice, with the same calm she had displayed since entering the room. "Koneko's role-"
The Behemoth creature suddenly began to move, the paw lifting upwards as though something was pushing on it from beneath, the human face contorting into a look of shock and surprise. As the paw lifted from the ground, it revealed the short form of Koneko, as stone-faced as she always was, standing beneath the twisted hand, holding it up seemingly without breaking a sweat.
"-Is the Rook." Rias finished, a hint of smugness creeping into her voice. "Rook's are granted incredible strength and durability."
Koneko shifted her weight, drawing her arms back in what Trevor recognized as the preparation for a throw.
"Enh." With an utterly unenthusiastic 'kia,' Koneko tossed the gargantuan monster like a ragdoll, its bulk slamming into the the far wall of the building, leaving a noticeable crater.
Trevor's expression became one of utter awe, his jaw dropping. "... Am… Am I the only one that found that kinda hot?" he asked, not sure of what else to offer.
"Oh jeez, this is so anime it hurts." Joe nervously chuckled at the casual display of raw power.
"Pervert." Koneko deadpanned, not even looking over towards where the rest of the club members were standing. Trevor simply shrugged at that. Koneko cracked her neck slightly as she stood there.
"So weak.." she mumbled under her breath, looking slightly disappointed.
"You...You BRATS!" Viser screamed, drawing itself up on extremely shaky legs. She reached for her chest, and then…
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Joe and Trevor cried out in perfect unison as they scrambled out of the way of the sizzling, purple liquid's path. It began rapidly dissolving the wood of the building where it struck, bubbling away like a powerful acid on the ground.
"GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS!" Trevor screamed. Damn it, I thought you were actually kinda cool until you started doing this shit!
"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK!?" Joe shouted again, trying to process what in fuck's name he was witnessing.
Rias stood slightly to the side of where she previously was, with a slightly disgusted look on her face.
"Akeno...your turn." she said, lip curling slightly.
"Yes President~." the ravenette replied, seeming entirely unconcerned with the sight that Joe and Trevor were sure would wind up giving them nightmares. She stalked forwards on her heels, the air beginning to faintly crackle around her.
"As I was saying," Rias said, her calm demeanour now back in place. "Akeno's role is that of the Queen."
Viser was visibly struggling to stay upright, beaten and bloody.
"Unforgivable.."
As Trevor and Joe watched, a shadow seemed to fall over Akeno's eyes, casting her entire face in a sinister mien. A wicked light seemed to gleam in her gaze, and she stared at the rogue devil with a smirk twisting its way onto her face.
"My my, still so energetic~." she said, sounding far more malevolent than it normally did in her interactions with the high school students.
"If that's the case... than this level of attack should be fine, right?" She said, as a crackling bolt of lightning suddenly sprang into existence within her fingertips.
"She's also a hardcore Sadist." Rias deadpanned.
"Shocker," Trevor drawled.
"Oh jeez…" Joe nervously groaned.
The form of Viser jerked and spasmed as Akeno poured more and more lightning into it, cutting off when it fell to the ground in a twitching heap.
"Oh come on, you have more than that left in you, right~?"
Trevor winced as the screaming started up again; he could swear he saw Akeno lick her lips in glee. Maybe I shouldn't play along with her flirting as much anymore...
"The Queen has access to all the traits of the other Evil Pieces", Rias continued in a total deadpan, "But Akeno specializes in fighting her opponents with Offensive Magic empowered by the Bishop aspect."
Yuuto walked up to the side of Joe and Trevor with his normal gentle smile.
"It's alright, the Vice President is very gentle with her allies."
A statement that would have been more reassuring if the two teenagers couldn't still hear the Rogue Devil screaming in the background.
Joe gave Yuuto a very dull look, but otherwise didn't say anything as Akeno was very clearly getting off on tormenting the Rogue Devil just a few feet away. Trevor was busy silently reconsidering his priorities.
"Ara ara, it seems that wasn't quite enough~." Akeno said as she drifted back over towards the members of the Occult Research club, her cheeks still somewhat flushed. "I'll just have to let the President get the final blow~"
Rias nodded and walked forwards, her eyes shadowed beneath her crimson bangs.
"Rogue Devil Viser. Do you have any last words?" she asked, her voice as sharp and hard as flint.
"Kill...me…" The Rogue Devil pleaded, sincerely.
"Well then." Rias started.
Trevor couldn't be sure, but for a second, he could swear that Rias's eyes began to glow a deep, crimson red, cat-like slits cutting through the darkness of the room. He blinked, and it was gone.
What wasn't gone however, was the massive pulsating orb of red and black light that sat in Rias's open palm, a writhing sphere of crackling blood-coloured light that seemed to draw the very air around it inwards.
"Dust to Dust."
She thrust her hand forwards, and the orb expanded dramatically, swallowing the charred husk of Viser whole. The members of the Occult Research club all averted their eyes, and when they looked back, the rogue devil was gone. A massive hole carved into the stone of the floor, tiny pieces of rubble falling inwards from the sides.
Rias turned back around, a gentle smile on her face.
"It's over everybody, good job."
Trevor blinked dumbly at the casual display of absurd power he'd just witnessed. "That was both utterly terrifying," he said slowly. "And ridiculously kickass."
Joe glanced between the Devils, a grin beginning to form on his face. "That was awesome." He asserted. "Like God- Gah, fuck!" He cried out, his free hand meeting his now aching head.
===
Luckychaos & BakaSmurf Reaction Theatre! -
===
BakaSmurf: *Sees the rating games* "Oh god. Oh god. Oh gaaaawd!
King: "Tournament Arc's Boyos!"
Luckychaos: "That was redundant."
BakaSmurf: "Your face is redundant."
Luckychaos: "Prove it, pussy. You literally can't."
BakaSmurf: "BRB, retconning your relationship with Meiya."
Luckychaos: *Sighs wistfully* "Well, I'll always have the memories."
BakaSmurf: "TOO BAD SHE WON'T!"
Luckychaos: "SHE ALREADY DOESN'T!"
BakaSmurf: *Baka starts painfully choking, he's laughing so hard* "Holy fuck, that was so savage I literally hurt myself!"
King: "I felt pain from that, Jesus."
AN: And there it is everybody, the first new chapter since this fic got officially adopted. There were some growing pains, but we all agreed it turned out nice enough that I DON'T need to get axed! Hooray!
I hope I don't need to remind anybody, but since we don't have a banner yet, and this IS a new thread, ABSOLUTELY. NO. SPOILERS.
Chapter 5: Growing Pains
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
===
Chapter 05: Growing Pains
===
"...So," Joe began once the headache died down, it seemed that nothing else was going to jump out and spray them with acidic milk, and the small high from witnessing that awesome display of power was gone. "The body…" He said, turning around to glance back at the mangled corpse the monster had been chewing on.
Rias cast a sorrowful eye over the torn-up remains of the woman. "Sadly there's not much we can actually do. They've been dead far too long for an Evil Piece to resurrect them, and no matter what we really are the humans will just see us a group of teenagers. We can make a call to the local police, but after that it's going to be their job." She turned to face the rest of the Peerage, a frown gracing her beautiful features.
"This is why Stray Devils have a kill-on-sight order. Without a king to counter-balance their new power, they have a tendency to go insane, and cause things like this to happen. If we knew who the family was, I could perhaps use magic to ease their grief, but unless you recognize this woman, there's simply nothing else we can do for them."
Joe sighed, turning away from the brutalized woman to face Rias. "I didn't really expect for anything to be doable for her at this point, was mostly asking about whether we'd call the police as anonymous tipsters. Good to have confirmation either way."
He turned halfway back to the half-eaten woman again.
"Sorry we didn't get here sooner, miss…" He apologized under his breath before redirecting his gaze to the President.
Trevor spared the corpse a glance before hurriedly looking away. "Is, uh," he cleared his throat. "I mean, is there a particular reason that Devils go Stray like this? Or is it just them being hungry for more power?" A seed of worry was being planted in his mind upon these revelations; what if he and Joe could somehow end up like this monster, for reasons beyond their control?
A gentle smile flitted across Rias's features as she shook her head, "It's nothing inherent to the Evil Pieces, if that's what you're afraid of. Ajuka is far too much of a genius for that sort of thing to occur. The most common reason is simply the reincarnated devil going mad with power. Though there are...other causes. Not every king is worthy of his title." She said, her voice trailing off slightly to the end.
"Phew," Trevor let out a sigh of relief. "There's that, I guess." He paused, brows scrunching in thought. "... Come to think of it, the only Pieces you haven't described yet are Bishops and Pawns. Would it be safe to assume that Joe and I are Pawns?"
"Redshirts, yaaay…" Joe mumbled to himself.
The Rosette nodded, a teasing smirk replacing the sad frown. "Indeed. The two of you together represent my entire complement of pawns. Three normal pieces, and a mutation piece, each. It was remarkably costly to resurrect the pair of you."
"Mutation piece?" Trevor echoed, shooting Joe a concerned look. "I'm afraid you're gonna have to exposit a little more on that."
Joe just nodded along in agreement as he idly tested the edge of the yataghan with his fingertips.
Rias reached forward, her hand disappearing into a small hole in thin-air for a moment, before pulling it back, revealing a small wooden chest, delicately carved, with golden hinges. She turned it towards the two pawns, and opened it, revealing a velvet-lined interior containing what appeared to be chess pieces, seemingly carved out of a faintly-glowing red stone. Conspicuously missing was a rook, a knight, a bishop, the queen, and all of the pawns.
"Did you just pull that out of a pocket dimension!?" Joe excitedly queried, his voice perhaps a little louder than it needed to be in the close confines of the building.
"Small pocket spaces for holding things are one of the most basic magics a devil can learn after all~" Chimed Akeno.
"That is so fucking cool!" Joe squeed.
I want that! Trevor thought, eyes bulging.
Rias nodded in assent, before reaching into the chest and pulling out the remaining bishop. It was noticeably different from the other pieces, a looping golden filigree spider-webbing its way across the surface of the odd stone-like material.
"This is a Mutation Piece. They're a variant of the evil pieces that occasionally appears within a set. They're more powerful by nature than others of their make. If I wasn't lucky enough to have two mutations pawns, it likely would have taken my entire set just to resurrect one of you."
She placed the pawn back into the chest, and the wooden box vanished back into thin air. "Think of the Evil Pieces as something akin to computers, as the piece grows in value, so does the processing power, with Mutation Pieces having even more than they normally would."
Kiba's voice piped up from the side, "Perhaps it would be better to move this conversation back to the club room? It's rather drafty in here."
Koneko nodded, still clutching her nose with one hand. "Stinks."
"Yeah, I was more concerned about the rotting flesh and all that," Joe interjected. "I mean, I'm kind of used to the stank of dead meat, not sure how you're putting up with it, Trev."
Akeno hid a smile behind her sleeve, "Always good to meet a man who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty~."
Joe just sighed, not feeling up to encouraging the friendly neighbourhood sadist's blithe flirting.
"My sense of smell has always been shit," Trevor explained, crinkling his nose a little. "I mean, it stinks and all, but I just kinda tuned it out. But, yeah, we should get going."
Rias nodded, raised her hands, and everything was red once more.
---
When the light faded, the Peerage was once again standing on the lawn in front of the Occult Club building. Rias swiftly lead them inside, and shut the door, asking Akeno to start preparing a pot of tea.
Soon the peerage members were sitting on the comfortable couches within the main room of the occult club, several cups of surprisingly high-quality tea sitting on the coffee table in the center.
"So, Trevor, Joe, I'm assuming you had a few more questions you wanted to ask me?" Rias asked, sipping at her tea with a content expression.
"Was really just wondering about what Bishops can do," Trevor asked, folding his arms and leaning back into his seat.
"The Bishop is the magic counterpart to the Rook and the Knight, it enhances the natural magic of the devil, giving them a larger pool to draw from, and increasing the effects of any spell they cast. However, that means it doesn't provide nearly as much of a physical enhancement as the other two pieces do, and Bishops are particularly vulnerable to physical combat. A wise king will often have a Bishop accompanied by at least one other piece, so as to protect them."
Well, I usually preferred mage-builds in games, Trevor mused, rubbing his bearded chin. But… Koneko looked so damn cool back there… Decisions, decisions…
"And what do Pawns actually do?" Joe inquired. "Redshirts? Mauveshirts?"
Rias tilted her head slightly, appearing confused for a moment, before she started to speak. "I...don't actually know what either of those terms mean, but Pawns are simultaneously the most valuable, and the weakest, pieces. The inherent power of the pawn is called Promotion. So long as a Pawn is standing in enemy territory, they can choose to upgrade their piece into any other Evil Piece, gaining the powers of the piece they chose."
She took a sip of tea, before resuming her lecture. "Naturally, a Pawn will almost always choose to promote into a Queen, so as to gain the benefits of all three Evil Pieces at once."
"Aw shit," Trevor stated. "That's… wow, that's actually pretty damn cool. And makes my next decision a little bit easier." He then looked over at Koneko and Akeno, speaking up in their direction. "Could you two teach me some of those techniques you used back there? Because I really like martial arts and magic both."
Akeno's eyes flashed, and a evil giggle began to emanate from behind the hand she held over her mouth, prompting Koneko, who was currently devouring the tea cakes at an almost disturbing pace for her size, to scooch several inches down the couch away from the sadistic lightning mage, giving Trevor a stone-faced look that clearly stated she thought he was insane.
"...You know she's a sadist, right?" Joe asked the fully-bearded bro warily.
Kiba was conspicuously absent from the room.
"Well, obviously," Trevor drawled, rolling his eyes. "But I wanna learn magic, god-da-OW!" He clutched his head, grumbling. "...Gosh-dangit. And if I could somehow incorporate it into those sick moves Koneko was using or Tae Kwon Do, that'd be awesome."
"...A'ight, your decision familamborghini," Joe sighed. "So, Rias, does magic which imparts buffs exist? And if so, could you teach me how to do it so I can smash and slash things to death with maximum efficiency?"
Joe noticed that Rias was frowning slightly, and she set her tea cup delicately on the coffee table. "Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier the two of you seem to have almost no inherent magic whatsoever. While it would be possible for you to learn, it would be a long and arduous process, but it's certainly possible."
She shrugged, reaching for one of the tea-cakes. "Also, Akeno is a far more talented magic instructor than I am. You would need to learn from her."
A shadow seemed to fall over the two friends as the Ravenette loomed menacingly over them, the air seeming to darken behind her pleasant smile. The two of them swore they could almost see the classic anime death-spirals of purple miasma emanating from her.
"I'd be more than happy to work the two of you long and hard~," she said, "But it's getting late, even for us, and the two of you are going to need your energy if you don't want to wither too quickly. I suggest going to bed now."
"...Y'know, on second thought, learning how to spellcast sounds like it'd be more trouble than it'd be worth, and I was always more of a charge in head-first warrior type anyways," Joe asserted with some concern. "I'll ask Kiba and Koneko for training pointers instead, if it isn't too great of an imposition, that is."
"Awwwh. And I was so looking forwards to a threesome~" the ravenette singsonged. "But in all seriousness, bed. Now. Before the two of you pass out on the couch. There's still school tomorrow after all."
"Yeah, yeah," Trevor said, suppressing a yawn. "We're going, we're going. We'll hash out the training shit tomorrow. For now, though, deuces." At that, he stood up to leave.
"I'm an insomniac and have fallen asleep in unintentional places no less than twice since I was a kid, but if laying down and staring at the bottom of Trev's mattress will placate y'all, I'll avoid causing needless stress for you fine ladies." Joe sighed as he stood to follow his fellow. "Sleep tight."
The two of them made their way out of the building, crossing the lawn towards the dorm rooms. Making their way inside the shared room they were assigned to, Joe realized he still had the sword Kiba had given him earlier in the day. He propped it next to the bed as Trevor climbed up into the top bunk, rolling over and falling asleep almost instantly.
Joe, surprisingly, started to feel the effects of regular tiredness kick in pretty quickly after arriving at the dorm despite his insomnia.
Chalk that up to the demonic reincarnation thing… He thought to himself as he powered on his computer to check and see what, if any evidence he could find of 'his' life in this world.
Several minutes later, he leaned back in frustration. He couldn't find a single thing that indicated he was ever alive in this world. The school he went to in his past life apparently didn't even exist in this place, and he couldn't find a single personal file anywhere on the machine that indicated somebody had used it before. It was as though Joe never existed in this world until a few days ago.
He sighed, logging out and standing up to push the chair in, his eyes stinging with tiredness. As he reached over to power the computer off however, something slid out from behind the monitor, and fell to the ground quietly.
He turned slightly, getting down onto his hands and knees and scooting underneath the desk, rooting around in the darkness to try and find what it was that had fallen. His fingers closed around something thin, and he emerged, flicking on the small desk lamp to see what he had found.
It was a photograph. A light orange-haired, violet-eyed child sat in front of a fireplace, holding an original, old school Gameboy, and smiling at the camera. Behind them, on the wall, was an ornate and ostentatious looking sword, mounted against a golden shield. The picture was torn, one end cutting off jaggedly, and Joe could just barely make out the knee of another child, and a few tufts of dark brown hair.
Hair the same shade as his own.
"...Hm. Guess I did exist in this world prior to waking up on that hill after all…" He quietly breathed to himself, so as not to wake Trevor. And still had more luck making female friends than male too. Gamer girl, at that. He thought.
He smiled lightly with an odd sense of nostalgia and deposited the picture back on the desk, noting that, knowing anime conventions, she'd be bound to show up sooner or later.
"Childhood friend trope, because of course…" Joe sighed as he set himself down on his bunk. "I wonder if there's any version of me that wasn't a harem protagonist in his youth…" He grumbled quietly as he allowed sleep's sweet embrace to take him.
---
Trevor was dreaming. He was quite sure of this fact, because otherwise the flames would have turned him into charcoal.
He was alone, surrounded by what appeared to be an endless expanse of fire. There was no ground, no sky, nothing but flames without end, orange and red, seeming to flow into each other seamlessly. They whirled around him in an intricate dancing pattern, spiralling and flaring in a way that could only be beautiful here, where they weren't threatening to reduce him to a crisp.
He felt it before he saw it. A weight hanging over him as though a mountain was pressing down on his shoulders. A spear stuck through his soul.
An eye. A massive, jade-colored eye, leering at him through the flame.
Trevor awoke to find himself in a much different position. There was still a weight on him, though it was much lighter, and seemed to be wrapping itself around him. He opened his eyes, and realized that he couldn't see anything, because his vision was entirely obscured with smooth, cream-colored flesh, an arm clasped behind his head pulling him closer into the marshmallow hell.
"Whf thf ffk," Trevor grumbled, his mouth covered and eyes wide.
The form stirred, and crimson hair fell around Trevor's head as his vision was no longer blocked, and he found himself with an unexpected partner in his bed. A very noticeably naked one.
Trevor blinked, staring at the impossibly beautiful girl that had somehow snuck into his bed while he was sleeping. No mean feat, considering he was such a light sleeper in the first place. He opened his mouth, thinking he should say something, anything, but honestly between his bewilderment and other impulses, he was a bit torn.
He thought it was a blatant come-on, but… Who the fuck knew with devils? She'd done the same to Joe, after all, though for healing purposes. Last Trevor checked, he hadn't taken any life-threatening injuries last night.
So what the hell was going on here?
Rias stirred, sitting up and stretching in a way that did not make anything easier on Trevor as she blinked languidly, rubbing at one eye with the back of her hand. She looked sleepily at the owner of the bed she was in, and mumbled, "Ah, Trevor, good morning." yawning at the end in a way that sent her crimson mane sliding off her chest, eliminating what little cover there had been seconds before.
"... You look absolutely gorgeous," was all he could manage to say. Trevor wasn't exactly a stranger to these kinds of things, but… damn. No woman he'd ever been with looked that good.
Rias smiled slightly, seeming to become more awake with each passing moment. "I hope I didn't bother you too much, I have trouble sleeping if I'm not naked, and having something to hold onto like a stuffed animal makes things even easier."
"Well, uh, I don't know if I'd complain necessarily, but, well," he cleared his throat, balling up the blanket to better cover a certain spot. "Showing up naked in someone's bed kinda sends a certain message, you know?"
Rias blinked, and a predatory smirk spread across her face, eyes half-lidding as she leaned forwards. "So...you like my chest?" she said, arching her back like a cat.
Trevor opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Yup," he answered honestly. "Yup, I do." Fucking melons.
Rias's smile gained teeth, and she leaned even closer, her arms pushing in from the sides in a way that was clearly deliberate. "Well," she said, voice low and throaty, "If you ever wanted to touch them…" she leaned in, her hair tickling Trevor's ear, "Retrieve a contract." she huskily whispered, her eyes filled with amusement.
The sounds of the mattress below squeaking as Joe's considerable mass shifted over and off of it interrupted the two's little exchange.
Stretching his arms well above his head with a grunt, and combing his fingers through his hair to get out any knots, he turned to face his fellow half-devil. "What's the deal with the noise man-"
Joe's voice caught in his throat at he saw Rias in all her statuesque glory on display once again, though this time in Trevor's bed.
"...The best part of waking up…" Joe singsonged before he caught himself.
"Good morning Joe!" Rias said, cheerfully waving at the other pawn in the room. She hopped down from the top bunk, landing gracefully on her feet and making her way towards the door. She turned around, flashing the two in a way that left nothing to the imagination, and gave them a cheerful thumbs-up.
"The offer's open to the both of you, so make me proud!" She said, and spun back towards the door, her clothes materializing on her body in a flash of red light mere seconds before she opened it up and walked outside, closing it behind her with a sharp click.
A brief moment of silence passed before Joe's mind spooled up entirely and he processed what just happened.
"...Wait, if she can just materialize clothes at will like that, why did she dress herself the long way last time?" The taller of the two guys wondered aloud.
Trevor, meanwhile, was taking long, deep breaths in his bunk.
"Joe," he started in a dull voice. "I honestly don't know how much longer I can stand getting blue-balled like that over and over again, so let's have a little chat." Trevor slowly rotated, still not removing his blanket, so he could face his friend. "Okay. So we're not tripping over each other, which girl would prefer to get with?"
Joe blinked before pivoting to face Trevor.
"...Well, in case it somehow wasn't obvious, I ain't into Akeno's apparent sadism." Joe offered. "Though… I will also point out," he started, reaching for the photo he'd found last night and presenting it to Trevor. "Knowing how battle harems work, sooner or later this little lady is going to show up and be not so little anymore, soooo…"
"Uh huh," Trevor drawled, giving the photo a once over. "So, what, does that mean you're not gonna worry about it until some other girl we know nothing about shows up and treats you like you're childhood friends even though you have no clue who she is?"
"Just saying, it looks like I have another option if you like Rias, dude." Joe shrugged as he deposited the photo back on the desk, and grabbed a shirt from the closet.
Once the shirt was on, he looked back over the bunks, and noticed that the blade Kiba had made for him was gone, curiously enough.
Magic sword, dematerialized once it runs out of mana to hold it together, I guess? He thought to himself with a shrug.
Trevor grunted, jumping off his bunk and proceeding to get dressed as well. "I like her about as much as I reasonably can for being super helpful and nice, and having a bangin' body. Wouldn't say there's anything serious there." He slid on his pants. "I was just asking since you were the first to get the naked spooning treatment. And because I don't want to pounce on that opportunity if you already had a thing for her."
"Honestly, man, relationships are about the last thing on my mind right now." Said the taller of the two as he threw on his blazer. "Especially after what we saw last night…" He trailed off before shaking his head with a grimace. "But, that aside… What was she talking about, in regards to that 'offer?'"
"Pretty much allowing whichever of us is the first to retrieve a contract gets to actually get frisky with her," Trevor explained, shuffling through his bag to make sure he had everything. "So, y'know, not exactly serious relationship stuff, just fooling around. That's how I interpreted it, anyway."
Joe was quiet for a moment at that. "...Considering the setting we're in, I'm gonna have to ask for clarification: were those her exact words?" He inquired.
Trevor sighed. "She asked me if I wanted to touch her chest, I said yes, then she said I had to retrieve a contract first. Yes, I see the obvious loophole. But, y'know, I don't care, you know why?" He slung his bag over his shoulder. "We've died, you almost died twice, we have to fight monsters, we somehow got involved in some kind of cold war between three factions straight out of the Bible, and we have to take high school all over again. I dunno about you, but I need another way of blowing off stress besides beating the shit out of monsters."
"Experience suggests that I can get by with violence, in all honesty," Joe replied. "Buuuuut, I personally suspect that the concern about dibs is a moot point. Since, y'know… Akeno also mentioned that traditional relationships aren't really a thing in devil culture."
He stretched again with the blazer on, just to work out the last of the morning kinks out of his body.
"Do whatever you're gonna do man, evidence suggests that Rias isn't a wholly monogamous girl either way, and I'm not the type to get antsy about who a girl I'm interested in has been with regardless."
"If you say so, amigo," Trevor shrugged. "I've had bad experiences with friends sleeping with a friend's interests in the past." He grimaced. "Very bad experiences. So I'm a bit more cautious with that kind of stuff. I'd really rather not accidentally kill another friendship because I thought with my dick first."
"Is fine, am very progress like that." Joe stated in a deliberately stilted manner. "Anyways… Japanese high school classes. Yaaaaay."
The two of them exited the dorm room, making their way towards the school with the faint air of a pair of condemned men walking towards the gallows.
---
The day passed relatively quickly, and without significant note. There was an incident where a brunette girl in glasses was seen getting chased around by several other girls, yelling something about "stopping her from despoiling Kiba's princely wonder with her perverted gaze" but the girl was clearly an experienced runner and was out-pacing them with ease.
As the two watched them run around with blatant bemusement on their faces, Trevor rolled his eyes and said, "That may be one of the more stupid things I've ever heard."
"If that isn't an early-bird cameo of a future haremette, I don't know what is." Joe wearily sighed.
"The fact that you can so easily see any girl with some sort of relevance falling for us begs some questions," Trevor snorted.
"You seem to forget that we're in a battle harem anime, dude. You think the original protagonist was any more noteworthy or desirable than us?" Joe retorted.
"All the same," Trevor said, scratching his side. "Feels weird, just assuming that kind of thing." He shrugged. "I guess I'm still in that 'innocent until proven guilty' mindset. Hard to just switch into battle harem anime mode."
"I fully switched over the first time I woke up with a naked anime girl spooning me after getting into an airborne deathmatch with a fallen angel, personally." Joe quipped with a shrug.
"Oh, right, that." Trevor hummed. "Everything else is so fucking mundane it's easier to pretend the freaky shit was just a dream. Frankly, I still expect to wake up from this at some point. Until then, though…" He jostled the contents of his bag. "We got more Japanime high school shit still."
---
The classes dragged past with just as much monotony and tiresome repetition as they had the first time the two reincarnates attended high school. A litany of bland and uninteresting personalities teaching bland and uninteresting subjects to a bored and uninterested classroom. The one noticeable divergence was the fact that apparently Japanese students were required to clean the school themselves at least once every week. Which explained the fact that neither of the two had noticed a janitor yet.
After school, Trevor went to talk to Akeno and Koneko about learning something from them, and Joe was on his way to see Kiba, when Rias walked out of a side room carrying a clipboard. She looked up at him and smiled.
"Ah, hello Joe! I know that you just got back, but there's actually a summoning ready for you. Can you take care of it? You can bring Trevor along if you want to."
"Oh. Well, alright then. What's the job?" He inquired.
Rias smiled slightly and tapped him on the forehead, sending a minor shock of lingering static into him. "You won't know until you get there to sign the contract silly. If it's something you can't do you can always just leave."
Joe shrugged. "A'ight. I'll ask Trev if he wants to tag along then. Where's the place?"
---
Several minutes later, Trevor and Joe were standing in front of the gate to a nice house in the suburbs. The bike they had taken to get there was leaned against the brick wall surrounding the front yard, and the gate was sitting open in front of them, a small walkway leading up to the traditional Japanese door, which was sitting slightly ajar. A light was on inside the house.
"The fact that this looks so normal is putting me more on edge than it should," Trevor said uneasily. "You take point. Get it?"
"Kill yourself." Joe replied as he moved forward, over-weight falcata in hand courtesy of Kiba before they departed.
He knocked on the frame next to the sliding door upon reaching it.
"Yo! This the place where y'all performed an ungodly ritual- GAH, FUCK!" Joe cried out, clutching his head in pain. "Son of a… Devil delivery service!"
Trevor snickered behind him while looking around for a nice lamppost to rip out of the ground in case things got hairy.
There was no answer from inside the house to Joe's knock, or his swearing. Seemingly no change at all. Back from where he was standing at the street, Trevor thought he caught the faintest hint of movement in the window of the upper floor of the house.
"Movement upstairs," he immediately said, tone turning serious. "We're gonna have to investigate that."
In response, Joe stepped back, picked up a nearby pebble, and tossed it at one of the second story windows.
It bounced off with a dull thunk, but there was no other change. None of the movement that Trevor had seen moments before.
"...Well, I say fuck it, let's head on back. Not our fault if the contractor got cold feet." Joe shrugged.
And that's when he smelled it. A scent that had become painfully familiar over the last several days. The smell of drying blood, coming from inside the house.
"...Or maybe not. Blood. Old blood." He stated with a sniff before looking over to Trevor. "Investigate now, or come back with reinforcements?"
Trevor's brows scrunched in thought, looking back up where he'd seen the movement. "We should try to get some information at least, though going in there outright might not be a good idea." He rubbed his chin.
Joe was about to open his mouth to suggest something, when there was a sound from behind him, akin to a faint click. Trevor saw a flash of silver light from inside the house, and suddenly there was a horrific burning sensation burying itself into the side of his torso, like a slightly-less-painful reminder of what had happened on their first night in this place.
"FUCK!" Trevor cried in pain, clutching his side and glaring bloody murder. He couldn't feel any blood on his hands, and a quick glance told him the wound had cauterized itself.
In response to the attack, Joe immediately spun in place, swinging the falcata outward across the fragile sliding door with a snarl.
The sword grew significantly heavier as he swung the blade, and rather than simply leave a gash in the frame, the door completely caved in on itself.
Standing slightly back from the doorway was a tall blond man wearing grey robes, his eyes filled with a hint of amusement as a patronizing smirk painted itself across his face. In his hand was a large silver gun, engraved with latin scripture. And he wore a crucifix around his neck.
"Man, what a lucky guy I am." He said, his voice oozing with false cheer. "Two shitty little Devils in one night, all for me. Shame you're smarter than you look, or we could have done this inside."
Joe's immediate response to the smarmy-looking cur was to leap back towards Trevor, presenting his fist as he did so.
"BOOST!" they both shouted in unison, pounding their fists together with a mutual grim determination in their eyes. The heavy weight of the familiar crimson gauntlets appeared on their fists, clanging together with a sharp metal sound as the gemstones glowed green.
"Oh hey, look at that!" the blond man exclaimed, voice no longer sounding quite so fake in its glee. "You two might actually last a few seconds longer than normal!"
He reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat with his free hand, and pulled out a gold-and silver tube, pressing a button on the side as a silvery-blue blade of light sprung into existence from the hilt.
"What kind of Priest doesn't kill devils quickly after all?" He said, a manic and twisted gleam appearing in his eyes.
===
Luckychaos & BakaSmurf Reaction Theatre!
===
Luckychaos: "I just had a thought, why don't any of them hit on Kiba at all?"
BakaSmurf: "Maybe he's gay."
Luckychaos: "Yeah that's what I was thinking too."
KingOfCrafters: *Chooses to remain silent*
BakaSmurf: Did they have a chance to talk to Kiba before they went to get this contract?
KingOfCrafters: Y'know what I'm gonna say yeah.
LuckyChaos: Well now that I know you have a sword you can go first.
Chapter 05: Growing Pains
===
"...So," Joe began once the headache died down, it seemed that nothing else was going to jump out and spray them with acidic milk, and the small high from witnessing that awesome display of power was gone. "The body…" He said, turning around to glance back at the mangled corpse the monster had been chewing on.
Rias cast a sorrowful eye over the torn-up remains of the woman. "Sadly there's not much we can actually do. They've been dead far too long for an Evil Piece to resurrect them, and no matter what we really are the humans will just see us a group of teenagers. We can make a call to the local police, but after that it's going to be their job." She turned to face the rest of the Peerage, a frown gracing her beautiful features.
"This is why Stray Devils have a kill-on-sight order. Without a king to counter-balance their new power, they have a tendency to go insane, and cause things like this to happen. If we knew who the family was, I could perhaps use magic to ease their grief, but unless you recognize this woman, there's simply nothing else we can do for them."
Joe sighed, turning away from the brutalized woman to face Rias. "I didn't really expect for anything to be doable for her at this point, was mostly asking about whether we'd call the police as anonymous tipsters. Good to have confirmation either way."
He turned halfway back to the half-eaten woman again.
"Sorry we didn't get here sooner, miss…" He apologized under his breath before redirecting his gaze to the President.
Trevor spared the corpse a glance before hurriedly looking away. "Is, uh," he cleared his throat. "I mean, is there a particular reason that Devils go Stray like this? Or is it just them being hungry for more power?" A seed of worry was being planted in his mind upon these revelations; what if he and Joe could somehow end up like this monster, for reasons beyond their control?
A gentle smile flitted across Rias's features as she shook her head, "It's nothing inherent to the Evil Pieces, if that's what you're afraid of. Ajuka is far too much of a genius for that sort of thing to occur. The most common reason is simply the reincarnated devil going mad with power. Though there are...other causes. Not every king is worthy of his title." She said, her voice trailing off slightly to the end.
"Phew," Trevor let out a sigh of relief. "There's that, I guess." He paused, brows scrunching in thought. "... Come to think of it, the only Pieces you haven't described yet are Bishops and Pawns. Would it be safe to assume that Joe and I are Pawns?"
"Redshirts, yaaay…" Joe mumbled to himself.
The Rosette nodded, a teasing smirk replacing the sad frown. "Indeed. The two of you together represent my entire complement of pawns. Three normal pieces, and a mutation piece, each. It was remarkably costly to resurrect the pair of you."
"Mutation piece?" Trevor echoed, shooting Joe a concerned look. "I'm afraid you're gonna have to exposit a little more on that."
Joe just nodded along in agreement as he idly tested the edge of the yataghan with his fingertips.
Rias reached forward, her hand disappearing into a small hole in thin-air for a moment, before pulling it back, revealing a small wooden chest, delicately carved, with golden hinges. She turned it towards the two pawns, and opened it, revealing a velvet-lined interior containing what appeared to be chess pieces, seemingly carved out of a faintly-glowing red stone. Conspicuously missing was a rook, a knight, a bishop, the queen, and all of the pawns.
"Did you just pull that out of a pocket dimension!?" Joe excitedly queried, his voice perhaps a little louder than it needed to be in the close confines of the building.
"Small pocket spaces for holding things are one of the most basic magics a devil can learn after all~" Chimed Akeno.
"That is so fucking cool!" Joe squeed.
I want that! Trevor thought, eyes bulging.
Rias nodded in assent, before reaching into the chest and pulling out the remaining bishop. It was noticeably different from the other pieces, a looping golden filigree spider-webbing its way across the surface of the odd stone-like material.
"This is a Mutation Piece. They're a variant of the evil pieces that occasionally appears within a set. They're more powerful by nature than others of their make. If I wasn't lucky enough to have two mutations pawns, it likely would have taken my entire set just to resurrect one of you."
She placed the pawn back into the chest, and the wooden box vanished back into thin air. "Think of the Evil Pieces as something akin to computers, as the piece grows in value, so does the processing power, with Mutation Pieces having even more than they normally would."
Kiba's voice piped up from the side, "Perhaps it would be better to move this conversation back to the club room? It's rather drafty in here."
Koneko nodded, still clutching her nose with one hand. "Stinks."
"Yeah, I was more concerned about the rotting flesh and all that," Joe interjected. "I mean, I'm kind of used to the stank of dead meat, not sure how you're putting up with it, Trev."
Akeno hid a smile behind her sleeve, "Always good to meet a man who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty~."
Joe just sighed, not feeling up to encouraging the friendly neighbourhood sadist's blithe flirting.
"My sense of smell has always been shit," Trevor explained, crinkling his nose a little. "I mean, it stinks and all, but I just kinda tuned it out. But, yeah, we should get going."
Rias nodded, raised her hands, and everything was red once more.
---
When the light faded, the Peerage was once again standing on the lawn in front of the Occult Club building. Rias swiftly lead them inside, and shut the door, asking Akeno to start preparing a pot of tea.
Soon the peerage members were sitting on the comfortable couches within the main room of the occult club, several cups of surprisingly high-quality tea sitting on the coffee table in the center.
"So, Trevor, Joe, I'm assuming you had a few more questions you wanted to ask me?" Rias asked, sipping at her tea with a content expression.
"Was really just wondering about what Bishops can do," Trevor asked, folding his arms and leaning back into his seat.
"The Bishop is the magic counterpart to the Rook and the Knight, it enhances the natural magic of the devil, giving them a larger pool to draw from, and increasing the effects of any spell they cast. However, that means it doesn't provide nearly as much of a physical enhancement as the other two pieces do, and Bishops are particularly vulnerable to physical combat. A wise king will often have a Bishop accompanied by at least one other piece, so as to protect them."
Well, I usually preferred mage-builds in games, Trevor mused, rubbing his bearded chin. But… Koneko looked so damn cool back there… Decisions, decisions…
"And what do Pawns actually do?" Joe inquired. "Redshirts? Mauveshirts?"
Rias tilted her head slightly, appearing confused for a moment, before she started to speak. "I...don't actually know what either of those terms mean, but Pawns are simultaneously the most valuable, and the weakest, pieces. The inherent power of the pawn is called Promotion. So long as a Pawn is standing in enemy territory, they can choose to upgrade their piece into any other Evil Piece, gaining the powers of the piece they chose."
She took a sip of tea, before resuming her lecture. "Naturally, a Pawn will almost always choose to promote into a Queen, so as to gain the benefits of all three Evil Pieces at once."
"Aw shit," Trevor stated. "That's… wow, that's actually pretty damn cool. And makes my next decision a little bit easier." He then looked over at Koneko and Akeno, speaking up in their direction. "Could you two teach me some of those techniques you used back there? Because I really like martial arts and magic both."
Akeno's eyes flashed, and a evil giggle began to emanate from behind the hand she held over her mouth, prompting Koneko, who was currently devouring the tea cakes at an almost disturbing pace for her size, to scooch several inches down the couch away from the sadistic lightning mage, giving Trevor a stone-faced look that clearly stated she thought he was insane.
"...You know she's a sadist, right?" Joe asked the fully-bearded bro warily.
Kiba was conspicuously absent from the room.
"Well, obviously," Trevor drawled, rolling his eyes. "But I wanna learn magic, god-da-OW!" He clutched his head, grumbling. "...Gosh-dangit. And if I could somehow incorporate it into those sick moves Koneko was using or Tae Kwon Do, that'd be awesome."
"...A'ight, your decision familamborghini," Joe sighed. "So, Rias, does magic which imparts buffs exist? And if so, could you teach me how to do it so I can smash and slash things to death with maximum efficiency?"
Joe noticed that Rias was frowning slightly, and she set her tea cup delicately on the coffee table. "Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier the two of you seem to have almost no inherent magic whatsoever. While it would be possible for you to learn, it would be a long and arduous process, but it's certainly possible."
She shrugged, reaching for one of the tea-cakes. "Also, Akeno is a far more talented magic instructor than I am. You would need to learn from her."
A shadow seemed to fall over the two friends as the Ravenette loomed menacingly over them, the air seeming to darken behind her pleasant smile. The two of them swore they could almost see the classic anime death-spirals of purple miasma emanating from her.
"I'd be more than happy to work the two of you long and hard~," she said, "But it's getting late, even for us, and the two of you are going to need your energy if you don't want to wither too quickly. I suggest going to bed now."
"...Y'know, on second thought, learning how to spellcast sounds like it'd be more trouble than it'd be worth, and I was always more of a charge in head-first warrior type anyways," Joe asserted with some concern. "I'll ask Kiba and Koneko for training pointers instead, if it isn't too great of an imposition, that is."
"Awwwh. And I was so looking forwards to a threesome~" the ravenette singsonged. "But in all seriousness, bed. Now. Before the two of you pass out on the couch. There's still school tomorrow after all."
"Yeah, yeah," Trevor said, suppressing a yawn. "We're going, we're going. We'll hash out the training shit tomorrow. For now, though, deuces." At that, he stood up to leave.
"I'm an insomniac and have fallen asleep in unintentional places no less than twice since I was a kid, but if laying down and staring at the bottom of Trev's mattress will placate y'all, I'll avoid causing needless stress for you fine ladies." Joe sighed as he stood to follow his fellow. "Sleep tight."
The two of them made their way out of the building, crossing the lawn towards the dorm rooms. Making their way inside the shared room they were assigned to, Joe realized he still had the sword Kiba had given him earlier in the day. He propped it next to the bed as Trevor climbed up into the top bunk, rolling over and falling asleep almost instantly.
Joe, surprisingly, started to feel the effects of regular tiredness kick in pretty quickly after arriving at the dorm despite his insomnia.
Chalk that up to the demonic reincarnation thing… He thought to himself as he powered on his computer to check and see what, if any evidence he could find of 'his' life in this world.
Several minutes later, he leaned back in frustration. He couldn't find a single thing that indicated he was ever alive in this world. The school he went to in his past life apparently didn't even exist in this place, and he couldn't find a single personal file anywhere on the machine that indicated somebody had used it before. It was as though Joe never existed in this world until a few days ago.
He sighed, logging out and standing up to push the chair in, his eyes stinging with tiredness. As he reached over to power the computer off however, something slid out from behind the monitor, and fell to the ground quietly.
He turned slightly, getting down onto his hands and knees and scooting underneath the desk, rooting around in the darkness to try and find what it was that had fallen. His fingers closed around something thin, and he emerged, flicking on the small desk lamp to see what he had found.
It was a photograph. A light orange-haired, violet-eyed child sat in front of a fireplace, holding an original, old school Gameboy, and smiling at the camera. Behind them, on the wall, was an ornate and ostentatious looking sword, mounted against a golden shield. The picture was torn, one end cutting off jaggedly, and Joe could just barely make out the knee of another child, and a few tufts of dark brown hair.
Hair the same shade as his own.
"...Hm. Guess I did exist in this world prior to waking up on that hill after all…" He quietly breathed to himself, so as not to wake Trevor. And still had more luck making female friends than male too. Gamer girl, at that. He thought.
He smiled lightly with an odd sense of nostalgia and deposited the picture back on the desk, noting that, knowing anime conventions, she'd be bound to show up sooner or later.
"Childhood friend trope, because of course…" Joe sighed as he set himself down on his bunk. "I wonder if there's any version of me that wasn't a harem protagonist in his youth…" He grumbled quietly as he allowed sleep's sweet embrace to take him.
---
Trevor was dreaming. He was quite sure of this fact, because otherwise the flames would have turned him into charcoal.
He was alone, surrounded by what appeared to be an endless expanse of fire. There was no ground, no sky, nothing but flames without end, orange and red, seeming to flow into each other seamlessly. They whirled around him in an intricate dancing pattern, spiralling and flaring in a way that could only be beautiful here, where they weren't threatening to reduce him to a crisp.
He felt it before he saw it. A weight hanging over him as though a mountain was pressing down on his shoulders. A spear stuck through his soul.
An eye. A massive, jade-colored eye, leering at him through the flame.
Trevor awoke to find himself in a much different position. There was still a weight on him, though it was much lighter, and seemed to be wrapping itself around him. He opened his eyes, and realized that he couldn't see anything, because his vision was entirely obscured with smooth, cream-colored flesh, an arm clasped behind his head pulling him closer into the marshmallow hell.
"Whf thf ffk," Trevor grumbled, his mouth covered and eyes wide.
The form stirred, and crimson hair fell around Trevor's head as his vision was no longer blocked, and he found himself with an unexpected partner in his bed. A very noticeably naked one.
Trevor blinked, staring at the impossibly beautiful girl that had somehow snuck into his bed while he was sleeping. No mean feat, considering he was such a light sleeper in the first place. He opened his mouth, thinking he should say something, anything, but honestly between his bewilderment and other impulses, he was a bit torn.
He thought it was a blatant come-on, but… Who the fuck knew with devils? She'd done the same to Joe, after all, though for healing purposes. Last Trevor checked, he hadn't taken any life-threatening injuries last night.
So what the hell was going on here?
Rias stirred, sitting up and stretching in a way that did not make anything easier on Trevor as she blinked languidly, rubbing at one eye with the back of her hand. She looked sleepily at the owner of the bed she was in, and mumbled, "Ah, Trevor, good morning." yawning at the end in a way that sent her crimson mane sliding off her chest, eliminating what little cover there had been seconds before.
"... You look absolutely gorgeous," was all he could manage to say. Trevor wasn't exactly a stranger to these kinds of things, but… damn. No woman he'd ever been with looked that good.
Rias smiled slightly, seeming to become more awake with each passing moment. "I hope I didn't bother you too much, I have trouble sleeping if I'm not naked, and having something to hold onto like a stuffed animal makes things even easier."
"Well, uh, I don't know if I'd complain necessarily, but, well," he cleared his throat, balling up the blanket to better cover a certain spot. "Showing up naked in someone's bed kinda sends a certain message, you know?"
Rias blinked, and a predatory smirk spread across her face, eyes half-lidding as she leaned forwards. "So...you like my chest?" she said, arching her back like a cat.
Trevor opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Yup," he answered honestly. "Yup, I do." Fucking melons.
Rias's smile gained teeth, and she leaned even closer, her arms pushing in from the sides in a way that was clearly deliberate. "Well," she said, voice low and throaty, "If you ever wanted to touch them…" she leaned in, her hair tickling Trevor's ear, "Retrieve a contract." she huskily whispered, her eyes filled with amusement.
The sounds of the mattress below squeaking as Joe's considerable mass shifted over and off of it interrupted the two's little exchange.
Stretching his arms well above his head with a grunt, and combing his fingers through his hair to get out any knots, he turned to face his fellow half-devil. "What's the deal with the noise man-"
Joe's voice caught in his throat at he saw Rias in all her statuesque glory on display once again, though this time in Trevor's bed.
"...The best part of waking up…" Joe singsonged before he caught himself.
"Good morning Joe!" Rias said, cheerfully waving at the other pawn in the room. She hopped down from the top bunk, landing gracefully on her feet and making her way towards the door. She turned around, flashing the two in a way that left nothing to the imagination, and gave them a cheerful thumbs-up.
"The offer's open to the both of you, so make me proud!" She said, and spun back towards the door, her clothes materializing on her body in a flash of red light mere seconds before she opened it up and walked outside, closing it behind her with a sharp click.
A brief moment of silence passed before Joe's mind spooled up entirely and he processed what just happened.
"...Wait, if she can just materialize clothes at will like that, why did she dress herself the long way last time?" The taller of the two guys wondered aloud.
Trevor, meanwhile, was taking long, deep breaths in his bunk.
"Joe," he started in a dull voice. "I honestly don't know how much longer I can stand getting blue-balled like that over and over again, so let's have a little chat." Trevor slowly rotated, still not removing his blanket, so he could face his friend. "Okay. So we're not tripping over each other, which girl would prefer to get with?"
Joe blinked before pivoting to face Trevor.
"...Well, in case it somehow wasn't obvious, I ain't into Akeno's apparent sadism." Joe offered. "Though… I will also point out," he started, reaching for the photo he'd found last night and presenting it to Trevor. "Knowing how battle harems work, sooner or later this little lady is going to show up and be not so little anymore, soooo…"
"Uh huh," Trevor drawled, giving the photo a once over. "So, what, does that mean you're not gonna worry about it until some other girl we know nothing about shows up and treats you like you're childhood friends even though you have no clue who she is?"
"Just saying, it looks like I have another option if you like Rias, dude." Joe shrugged as he deposited the photo back on the desk, and grabbed a shirt from the closet.
Once the shirt was on, he looked back over the bunks, and noticed that the blade Kiba had made for him was gone, curiously enough.
Magic sword, dematerialized once it runs out of mana to hold it together, I guess? He thought to himself with a shrug.
Trevor grunted, jumping off his bunk and proceeding to get dressed as well. "I like her about as much as I reasonably can for being super helpful and nice, and having a bangin' body. Wouldn't say there's anything serious there." He slid on his pants. "I was just asking since you were the first to get the naked spooning treatment. And because I don't want to pounce on that opportunity if you already had a thing for her."
"Honestly, man, relationships are about the last thing on my mind right now." Said the taller of the two as he threw on his blazer. "Especially after what we saw last night…" He trailed off before shaking his head with a grimace. "But, that aside… What was she talking about, in regards to that 'offer?'"
"Pretty much allowing whichever of us is the first to retrieve a contract gets to actually get frisky with her," Trevor explained, shuffling through his bag to make sure he had everything. "So, y'know, not exactly serious relationship stuff, just fooling around. That's how I interpreted it, anyway."
Joe was quiet for a moment at that. "...Considering the setting we're in, I'm gonna have to ask for clarification: were those her exact words?" He inquired.
Trevor sighed. "She asked me if I wanted to touch her chest, I said yes, then she said I had to retrieve a contract first. Yes, I see the obvious loophole. But, y'know, I don't care, you know why?" He slung his bag over his shoulder. "We've died, you almost died twice, we have to fight monsters, we somehow got involved in some kind of cold war between three factions straight out of the Bible, and we have to take high school all over again. I dunno about you, but I need another way of blowing off stress besides beating the shit out of monsters."
"Experience suggests that I can get by with violence, in all honesty," Joe replied. "Buuuuut, I personally suspect that the concern about dibs is a moot point. Since, y'know… Akeno also mentioned that traditional relationships aren't really a thing in devil culture."
He stretched again with the blazer on, just to work out the last of the morning kinks out of his body.
"Do whatever you're gonna do man, evidence suggests that Rias isn't a wholly monogamous girl either way, and I'm not the type to get antsy about who a girl I'm interested in has been with regardless."
"If you say so, amigo," Trevor shrugged. "I've had bad experiences with friends sleeping with a friend's interests in the past." He grimaced. "Very bad experiences. So I'm a bit more cautious with that kind of stuff. I'd really rather not accidentally kill another friendship because I thought with my dick first."
"Is fine, am very progress like that." Joe stated in a deliberately stilted manner. "Anyways… Japanese high school classes. Yaaaaay."
The two of them exited the dorm room, making their way towards the school with the faint air of a pair of condemned men walking towards the gallows.
---
The day passed relatively quickly, and without significant note. There was an incident where a brunette girl in glasses was seen getting chased around by several other girls, yelling something about "stopping her from despoiling Kiba's princely wonder with her perverted gaze" but the girl was clearly an experienced runner and was out-pacing them with ease.
As the two watched them run around with blatant bemusement on their faces, Trevor rolled his eyes and said, "That may be one of the more stupid things I've ever heard."
"If that isn't an early-bird cameo of a future haremette, I don't know what is." Joe wearily sighed.
"The fact that you can so easily see any girl with some sort of relevance falling for us begs some questions," Trevor snorted.
"You seem to forget that we're in a battle harem anime, dude. You think the original protagonist was any more noteworthy or desirable than us?" Joe retorted.
"All the same," Trevor said, scratching his side. "Feels weird, just assuming that kind of thing." He shrugged. "I guess I'm still in that 'innocent until proven guilty' mindset. Hard to just switch into battle harem anime mode."
"I fully switched over the first time I woke up with a naked anime girl spooning me after getting into an airborne deathmatch with a fallen angel, personally." Joe quipped with a shrug.
"Oh, right, that." Trevor hummed. "Everything else is so fucking mundane it's easier to pretend the freaky shit was just a dream. Frankly, I still expect to wake up from this at some point. Until then, though…" He jostled the contents of his bag. "We got more Japanime high school shit still."
---
The classes dragged past with just as much monotony and tiresome repetition as they had the first time the two reincarnates attended high school. A litany of bland and uninteresting personalities teaching bland and uninteresting subjects to a bored and uninterested classroom. The one noticeable divergence was the fact that apparently Japanese students were required to clean the school themselves at least once every week. Which explained the fact that neither of the two had noticed a janitor yet.
After school, Trevor went to talk to Akeno and Koneko about learning something from them, and Joe was on his way to see Kiba, when Rias walked out of a side room carrying a clipboard. She looked up at him and smiled.
"Ah, hello Joe! I know that you just got back, but there's actually a summoning ready for you. Can you take care of it? You can bring Trevor along if you want to."
"Oh. Well, alright then. What's the job?" He inquired.
Rias smiled slightly and tapped him on the forehead, sending a minor shock of lingering static into him. "You won't know until you get there to sign the contract silly. If it's something you can't do you can always just leave."
Joe shrugged. "A'ight. I'll ask Trev if he wants to tag along then. Where's the place?"
---
Several minutes later, Trevor and Joe were standing in front of the gate to a nice house in the suburbs. The bike they had taken to get there was leaned against the brick wall surrounding the front yard, and the gate was sitting open in front of them, a small walkway leading up to the traditional Japanese door, which was sitting slightly ajar. A light was on inside the house.
"The fact that this looks so normal is putting me more on edge than it should," Trevor said uneasily. "You take point. Get it?"
"Kill yourself." Joe replied as he moved forward, over-weight falcata in hand courtesy of Kiba before they departed.
He knocked on the frame next to the sliding door upon reaching it.
"Yo! This the place where y'all performed an ungodly ritual- GAH, FUCK!" Joe cried out, clutching his head in pain. "Son of a… Devil delivery service!"
Trevor snickered behind him while looking around for a nice lamppost to rip out of the ground in case things got hairy.
There was no answer from inside the house to Joe's knock, or his swearing. Seemingly no change at all. Back from where he was standing at the street, Trevor thought he caught the faintest hint of movement in the window of the upper floor of the house.
"Movement upstairs," he immediately said, tone turning serious. "We're gonna have to investigate that."
In response, Joe stepped back, picked up a nearby pebble, and tossed it at one of the second story windows.
It bounced off with a dull thunk, but there was no other change. None of the movement that Trevor had seen moments before.
"...Well, I say fuck it, let's head on back. Not our fault if the contractor got cold feet." Joe shrugged.
And that's when he smelled it. A scent that had become painfully familiar over the last several days. The smell of drying blood, coming from inside the house.
"...Or maybe not. Blood. Old blood." He stated with a sniff before looking over to Trevor. "Investigate now, or come back with reinforcements?"
Trevor's brows scrunched in thought, looking back up where he'd seen the movement. "We should try to get some information at least, though going in there outright might not be a good idea." He rubbed his chin.
Joe was about to open his mouth to suggest something, when there was a sound from behind him, akin to a faint click. Trevor saw a flash of silver light from inside the house, and suddenly there was a horrific burning sensation burying itself into the side of his torso, like a slightly-less-painful reminder of what had happened on their first night in this place.
"FUCK!" Trevor cried in pain, clutching his side and glaring bloody murder. He couldn't feel any blood on his hands, and a quick glance told him the wound had cauterized itself.
In response to the attack, Joe immediately spun in place, swinging the falcata outward across the fragile sliding door with a snarl.
The sword grew significantly heavier as he swung the blade, and rather than simply leave a gash in the frame, the door completely caved in on itself.
Standing slightly back from the doorway was a tall blond man wearing grey robes, his eyes filled with a hint of amusement as a patronizing smirk painted itself across his face. In his hand was a large silver gun, engraved with latin scripture. And he wore a crucifix around his neck.
"Man, what a lucky guy I am." He said, his voice oozing with false cheer. "Two shitty little Devils in one night, all for me. Shame you're smarter than you look, or we could have done this inside."
Joe's immediate response to the smarmy-looking cur was to leap back towards Trevor, presenting his fist as he did so.
"BOOST!" they both shouted in unison, pounding their fists together with a mutual grim determination in their eyes. The heavy weight of the familiar crimson gauntlets appeared on their fists, clanging together with a sharp metal sound as the gemstones glowed green.
"Oh hey, look at that!" the blond man exclaimed, voice no longer sounding quite so fake in its glee. "You two might actually last a few seconds longer than normal!"
He reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat with his free hand, and pulled out a gold-and silver tube, pressing a button on the side as a silvery-blue blade of light sprung into existence from the hilt.
"What kind of Priest doesn't kill devils quickly after all?" He said, a manic and twisted gleam appearing in his eyes.
===
Luckychaos & BakaSmurf Reaction Theatre!
===
Luckychaos: "I just had a thought, why don't any of them hit on Kiba at all?"
BakaSmurf: "Maybe he's gay."
Luckychaos: "Yeah that's what I was thinking too."
KingOfCrafters: *Chooses to remain silent*
BakaSmurf: Did they have a chance to talk to Kiba before they went to get this contract?
KingOfCrafters: Y'know what I'm gonna say yeah.
LuckyChaos: Well now that I know you have a sword you can go first.
You guys have no fucking clue how hard it was to keep quiet about Kiba, holy shit.
Chapter 6: Judas Priest
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
===
Chapter 6: Judas Priest
===
Trevor hissed as the pain slowly faded, but just looking down at his side confirmed the wound was far from truly healed. The boost had only numbed him to pain, it seemed. With a grunt, he forced himself back off the ground as he desperately tried to think of a way to deal with the maniacal priest.
"CHEESE IT!" Joe shouted, immediately turning on his heel to flee when there was no obvious sign that they'd been trapped by some kind of magic field. They were still untrained, and the fucker had a lightsaber and a gun! Trevor was hot on his heels, not feeling up to almost dying again.
"Oh for fuck's sake-" said the priest, his grin taking on a disappointed shade as he raised the pistol in the direction of the two reincarnated demons.
"AIEEEEEEEE!" suddenly, there was a high-pitched, feminine scream from inside the house, and the blond turned around, somewhat startled. Trevor and Joe halted in their tracks, both caught off guard by the sudden revelation that the asshole had a hostage!
"Fucking- couldn't have stayed upstairs for three more minutes!" he spat.
"Figures the one time we had the sense to just retreat…!" Joe cursed as he readied his sword and gauntlet adorning his left arm as an impromptu shield.
"Oh boy, here I go ripping shit out of the ground again," Trevor sighed, finding a perfectly-adequate mailbox and, indeed, ripping it out of the ground. "We gotta flank the fucker," he hastily whispered in Joe's ear. "One of us can sneak in and grab the hostage, then we can leg the fuck out!"
The blonde priest fired off a shot at the two over his shoulder, which went wide and hit the pavement. He dashed back into the house, tossing a jubilant "Follow me, fuckboys!" behind him as he went, rounding the corner of the hallway into one of the side rooms.
Joe turned to Trevor, and eyed the second-story window.
"Flanking maneuver?" he asked.
"Yup," Trevor agreed. "I'm lighter and can move quietly. I'll go up."
Trevor dashed forwards, slightly at an angle from the front of the house, and jumped, hoping that his new status as a devil would allow him to actually pull this off. To both he and Joe's mild surprise, he found himself sailing through the air, easily approaching the second story. Joe had something else entirely to be surprised about.
When Trevor had cleared the ground, a pair of large bat-like wings had sprung from his back.
"Where the fuck did those come from!?" Joe cried out in surprise when his fellow suddenly sprouted a pair of fucking demonic wings.
"Que?" Trevor asked, turning to give Joe a weird look from his perch on the wall, only to squeal upon laying eyes on his newly-acquired appendages. "W-W-What - FUCK YEAH I CAN FLY! … I think." He blinked, and shook his head. "Wait, shit, hostage!"
"WE DOING THIS OR NOT FUCKHEADS!?" came an irritated shout from inside the house.
"FUCK YOU YOU'RE NOT RUINING WINGS FOR ME!" Trevor hollered back, sounding actually offended.
"STOP MAKING OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND AND LET ME KILL YOU ALREADY!" returned the shout. The two reincarnated devils thought they could hear a voice say something in response, but it was too faint to make out the words, and was followed by the sound of a harsh slap.
They both heard that, and Trevor gave Joe a serious nod before clearing his throat. "PROJECTING MUCH?!" he shouted. "HOW WAS THAT ELECTROTHERAPY AT THE CAMP?! DIDN'T GET ALL THE GAY OUTTA YA?!"
While Trevor did his best to get a rise out of the Priest, Joe began creeping forth, speedily yet stealthily as his time hunting in the woods had taught him to do whilst pursuing wary prey. With luck, he'd catch the fucker off guard...
A bolt of light shattered one of the front windows on the house, carving another chunk out the roadway. "YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE CHOKING ON DICK WHEN I RIP YOURS OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT YAH SHITTY DEVIL!"
"OH I JUST KNOW YOU GOT AT LEAST HALF CHUB IMAGINING MY DICK, HUH?!" Trevor hollered, calling on many years of shit-slinging with his friends. He never imagined it might be useful in a hostage situation against a lightsaber-wielding priest, but life had taken many twists and turns lately.
Speed-sneaking his way down the hall and towards the open door the priest had ducked into, Joe made a note to keep his gauntlet over his midsection, as any trained shooter would have the sense to aim for centre of mass. He peeked within to make sure the Priest was actually distracted by Trevor's exceedingly gay taunting.
The Priest was standing near the center of the obvious living room, his body was turned towards the door, but he was faced towards the window, pointing his gun outside. More concerning however, was the short blonde girl laid out on the floor behind him, a bruise forming on her face.
A blonde girl that Joe recognized.
One wearing Nun robes.
Asia Argento… looked as though she was knocked clean out, as if the Priest had haymakered the diminutive girl in the face.
Fucking figured.
Holding the gauntlet in front of him to shield his body from gunshots, Joe kicked off his heel with as much force as he could muster, intending to cannonball the Priest with all two-hundred pounds of his mass.
"SON OF A BITCH I AM GOING TO- GAH!" shouted the priest, as the taller Canadian slammed into him from the side, sending the both of them careening into the opposite wall. He pushed back with a surprising degree of strength however, throwing Joe off of him and following up with a quick swipe from the glowing blade, which Joe managed to bring his gauntleted arm up quickly enough to block.
As the Priest was attempting to press down on Joe, the devil replied by bringing the tip of his sword to bear, fully intending to run him through and tear the blade out though his side.
The Priest shifted abnormally fast, throwing his body to one side. The blade still managed to clip the side of his torso, drawing a faint amount of blood, but the blonde man moved like flowing water, removing his back from the wall, his other arm coming up to fire off a quick shot that grazed the side of Joe's face, leaving a burn down the length of one his cheeks, blowing a hole in the opposite wall.
Hissing in pain, Joe made a point to press the attack regardless, allowing adrenaline to numb his nerves and focus in on the Priest.
As he turned to face the priest, he saw out of the corner of his eye a bloody spatter spread across the wall of the door he'd entered through. Along with what looked to be a corpse nailed to the same wall by its limbs and a stake through the chest.
In the heat of the moment, he made little more than a passing note of it as he focused on fighting the imminently dangerous devil hunter.
"Hey now, this is more like it!" the blonde man said, sounding disturbingly pleased at this turn of events. His face stretched, into a shark-like grin, as he stuck his tongue out disturbingly.
"My name's Father Freed Sellzen, shit-head! And I'm gonna kill-"
He was rudely interrupted by a mailbox swung at the back of his head.
"MOTHER-FUH! AH BIT MAH FUHKIN TUNGE!" the man screamed, one hand grabbing at his face as the other swung behind him with the glowing blade.
Trevor was all too eager to keep pounding away at the asshole, but was forced to dodge lest he get disemboweled by Sellzen's counterattack.
The moment Sellzen shifted to attack Trevor, Joe charged again, reaching out with his gauntleted hand to grab a hold of the arm gripping the lightsaber, aiming to deprive the fucker of his close-quarters weapon.
Getting a hold of the bastard, Joe proceeded to enact step two of his plan, bring his sword down on that god damned arm.
He was stopped, however, by a sudden burning pain in his torso, and the feeling of something tearing a giant hole through his stomach. It felt as though he had been in the gut by a flaming battering ram, and he fell backward, his grip on Freed's arm coming free as shock quickly set in, dulling his senses to the point of blindness.
Trevor saw it all, which meant he unfortunately saw the priest shoot a baseball-sized hole straight through his friend's torso.
He almost ran away right there. Every instinct screamed at him to flee and save himself. That was the smart thing to do, to keep oneself alive over everything else.
"YOU'RE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER!" Freed shouted, turning around and bringing the glowing sword in a devastating swipe straight at Trevor's face.
And then it stopped.
Halted by Kiba's sword.
The blonde member of the occult club stood there as though he had always been present, suddenly in between the Priest and Trevor, the glowing blade trapped in the crossguard of the Knight's sword. There was a rapid exchange of blows, and the two were instantaneously several feet away from each other.
"Well, looks like President was right after all." The knight said, his usual smile gone, with a look of concentration taking its place.
"Oh thank you Jesus-OUCH!" Trevor grumbled, wincing at the headache. "Kiba, I can get the girl and Joe out of here."
"That won't be necessary, Trevor." came a soft feminine voice from behind the pawn, and he turned to Akeno walking out of the door to the stairwell.
"The reason Kiba was so late is that he needed time to activate the distress beacon Rias gave him." She said, as Koneko emerged from the main doorway, pounding a fist into her empty hand, a look of cold disgust on her small face.
"Well then," Trevor said, regarding the new arrivals with relief before looking back at Freed with a glare. He rose his mailbox in a two-handed grip, his hands trembling from exhaustion. He felt about ready to keel over, but he was barely able to keep himself upright. "Let's paste the fucker."
Freed looked disturbingly unconcerned with this turn of events, his grin back on his face as he raised his blade and pistol.
"Well isn't this-"
"EXORCIST."
The interrupting voice came from a point behind Trevor, and was filled with such a deep rage that he could practically feel it as a palpable weight on his shoulders. What made it more disturbing, was that it Rias's voice. The normally sweet and teasing tones replaced with barely-restrained fury.
He turned, and saw her standing there, her eyes glowing a piercing red, as a crackling orb of black and crimson destruction folded into existence above her outstretched palm.
"For hurting one of my precious peerage," she ground out, her voice heavy and tinged with rage, "You. Are. DEAD."
Even though he wasn't the target of such wrath, Trevor found himself instinctively edging away from the furious woman.
"COCK-GOBBLING SON OF A WHORE!" Joe cried out as he rolled over, finally regaining control of his pain-wracked body as he clutched his stomach as the falcata fell from his hand, clattering against the ground with a thud too deep for such a small blade.
It was then that he noticed how unsettlingly dry his open wound was.
"FFFFFFFFUCKING WHHYYYY, I WAS TRYING TO BE SMART THIS TIIIIME…!"
There was a brief moment of pause as Joe's tirade broke the sharp tension of the room, Koneko moving forwards to lift him up over one shoulder and drag him towards the other members of the Peerage.
Rias turned her focus back on Sellzen, the wound in reality above her palm now the size of a basketball.
"Say your last words pries-"
"President! Fallen Angels coming directly towards us!" Kiba interrupted, his eyes locked onto the skyline of the window opposite them.
"JUST KILL THE FUCKER ALREADY!" Joe hollered in indignant fury, wanting to see the Priest turned into a bloody smear before departing.
Unfortunately, Freed had taken advantage of the brief distraction to get the fuck out of dodge, jumping through the shattered window of the building and disappearing among the houses opposite at a speed that, mere days ago, Joe and Trevor would have considered absolute bullshit.
Rias looked entirely ready to start after him, her teeth grit in what was practically a snarl, but Akeno lay a hand on her shoulder.
"Rias, we can't fight the Fallen. Not with the two of them hurt like this." She said, some degree of urgency in her voice.
A war was fought inside Rias's head at that moment, the clashing emotions playing across her face as she struggled against her desire to hunt the Priest down and turn him into ash. Soon however, she let out a heavy sigh, and the glowing orb of destruction dissipated into thin air.
"You're right, Akeno. Come on everybody, I'm teleporting us out of here." she said, her arms raising as a red glyph sprung into existence beneath the members of the occult club.
"There's also an injured girl over here," Trevor added, moving to pick her up from where she lay on the stairs.
"Trevor." Rias interrupted, her voice sounding thoroughly exhausted. "The spell won't take non-devils. We have to leave her behind."
He frowned at that. "And leave her to more psychos to do who knows what with her?" he pressed, gesturing outside.
"Trevor. I can't take her with us, and I'm not letting you or Joe die because of that. The light from that Priest's gun is burning away at his soul, he won't last much longer without healing." She said, a look of tired regret on her face.
"S-she's a heal- FUCKING- healer! Can help, I met her bef- FFFGGGHHH-!" Joe attempted to reason, but the pain was rapidly becoming too much to bear for him to speak coherently, blindly clutching at the open wound with his free hand, and he began babbling hysterically.
Rias's face grew pained as she looked at him, and she looked about the room, before her eyes settled on the blond Knight.
"Kiba, I...I can't…"
"It's alright, President. You don't have to ask me." Kiba said, voice quietly solemn as he stepped away from the glyph on the floor, walking over to where Asia lay unconscious on the ground, and lifting her into his arms.
"...Thank you." Rias whispered. Kiba nodded his head, smiling at her, and blurred, dashing from the house at an absurd speed.
Red light filled Trevor and Joe's vision as the teleportation spell activated, and the next thing they knew, they found themselves on the lawn in front of the Occult Club building, Koneko rushing towards the front door with Joe, now blacked out from pain, hanging over her shoulder.
"Is every night going to be like this?" Trevor asked, giving Rias a hard look as exhaustion and frustration was finally seeping into his bones. He felt like he was moments away from passing out.
Rias shook her head, looking almost as tired as Trevor felt as she followed quickly after Koneko.
"No. This was...the church would never do something that so blatantly threatened the peace like this. I...I don't know what's going on in my town…" She said, her voice quiet and weak, filled with distress and worry as they rushed after the tiny white-haired figure.
Trevor grunted, now using his dented mailbox as a makeshift crutch, leaning heavily on his left side. "... Gotcha. Well. I know we're your subordinates and all… but Joe and I aren't going out there anymore. Not until we can actually fight and not have to discover shit as we go along. I didn't even know I had wings until I tried jumping high."
Rias let out a weak chuckle as they entered the building, "It's only been a few days. The two of you shouldn't have even seen a fallen angel by this point, let alone...this. Trevor, I...I'm going to fix things so that the two of you don't need to attend school tomorrow. We need to get you two in better shape." she said, following up the stairs after Koneko, Akeno falling back to wait by the door of the building.
"Music to my ears," Trevor let out a deep breath. "Learning how to fucking survive takes precedence over retaking high school all over again, I'd say."
Rias turned her head and stared at him, blatant surprise written across her features.
"Retaking?"
"Oh." Trevor blinked. Then recalled he might have just let something slip that he shouldn't have.
Rias let out a heavy sigh, pinching at the bridge of her nose with her fingertips, before lightly smacking Trevor's shoulder, and grumbling quietly.
"Baka." She said, huffing an exasperated breath of air as she marched up the staircase after Joe and Koneko.
"We are GOING to have a conversation about this tomorrow." She said, voice firm in its resolution.
"If I knew the two of you had been through highschool once already, I wouldn't have made you attend it again." She grumbled, marching up the staircase into the room where Koneko had taken Joe.
"Hold on- Wait." Trevor tilted his head to the side, her words finally catching up with him. "Wait, we don't have to take high school over again!?"
Right then, Trevor was quite thankful that when he fucked up, he got them out of high school. When Joe fucked up, he was a bleeding comatose mess on the floor. There might have been a disparity of consequences here.
---
Joe was rather concerned with his current situation.
Either something really fucking bizarre had happened after he fell unconscious, or he was currently dreaming. He didn't have any other explanation for why he found himself in the middle of a giant mass of flames.
He was floating there, in the center of a huge whirling mass of fire, dancing and twirling in an intricate display all around him.
And in the center of the fire, two monolithic jade-green eyes, staring down at him.
Their gaze was a palpable weight on his shoulders, those cat-slit eyes fixed him with such intensity that it felt as though they were staring into his very soul.
And then suddenly, there was a voice. A voice that seemed to come from everywhere around him, deep and rumbling, like the slow movement of a mountain.
"STOP BEING PATHETIC."
He blinked. "THE FUCK YOU JUST SAY TO ME, YOU BITCH!?" Joe shouted, the bizarre calm that he was overtaken with vanishing in an instant as a vein throbbed in his forehead.
And then the flames were gone, the voice was gone, and Joe was opening his eyes.
"Fucking asshole dream voice…!" Joe grumbled the moment he regained consciousness.
Once he'd opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed that he wasn't in tremendous pain anymore. He was laying on a soft bed, his head propped up on a pillow, and a pair of small pale hands were held over his torso, green light washing out from them in a wave over the spot where he had been shot. Asia was sitting in a chair next to the bed, leaning over him, Rias standing several feet behind her, looking much calmer than she had been last night.
He blinked again.
"Oh, they pulled you out after all, huh?" He inquired with a growl, still groggy and annoyed by the asshole voice from the dream.
The nun was startled slightly at his voice, and looked up at him, her face gaining a rather relieved, though nervous, smile.
"Ah! Mister Joe, you're awake!" She said, moving as though she was about to get up and hug him, before evidently thinking better of it, and sitting back down, a faint blush working its way onto her face as she went back to healing his torso.
While internally remarking on how that was actually rather sweet, Joe lifted the sheet at an oblique angle to see if he was naked under it again.
He was.
"I'm tempted to ask who it is that keeps stripping me naked, but something tells me that's a question better left unanswered" Joe sighed as he rubbed his eyes.
"I did." Rias said, walking forwards slightly until she was standing next to the bed Joe was lying in.
"...Thanks for that, Rias." Joe dryly replied.
"Kiba didn't manage to get back for several hours, due to needing to lose the Fallen Angels," the redhead continued. "So I had to keep you stabilized while we waited for your friend to arrive."
She cast an eye over Asia, looking both somewhat relieved, and a hint suspicious.
"I have to say however, for a member of the church to have the power to heal a devil… I've never heard of anything like that."
Asia lowered her head slightly, as though attempting to avoid the question, her face taking on a nervous, and somewhat sad, look.
"...Right, about that," Joe started, looking at the tiny girl himself. "Uh… yeah, thank you for the help, but… what was going on back there? It looked like that creepy gay Priest dude haymakered you out cold."
"I...I don't know." She said, her voice shaking. "I was...Father Sellzen told me that we were heading out to take care of a murderous devil, even though I've never done anything like that before. He told me to go upstairs while he warned the owner of the house we were in about what was going on, but...when I came back down, they were...they were…"
At that point, Asia began to choke up, her hands rising to cover her eyes as tears began to leak out of them, letting loose small hiccuping sobs.
Joe pushed himself into a sitting position, and somewhat awkwardly placed a hand on Asia's shoulder. "Uh… there there…" he said unsteadily.
He was never very good at handling crying girls.
"...Rias, would I be wrong in assuming that the person the Priest had staked to that wall wasn't even a devil?" He asked the taller of the two girls.
Rias looked at him, her face containing some unreadable emotion, and slowly shook her head, not saying anything.
"...Fucking… I shouldn't have led you to that church after all then…" he grumbled to Asia while running a hand through his hair.
"You're the last person that should need to beat yourself up over that," Trevor commented as he walked into the room. "Well, second-last, maybe." He sighed, before a worn smile crawled its way onto his clearly-tired expression. "Anyway, glad to see you awake and, uh…" He narrowed his eyes.
"Naked? Yes, I am very naked under these sheets, thanks for asking." Joe interjected.
Trevor snorted. "Yeah, that. Should've figured, leaving you at night with Rias."
"I only do it out of necessity." Rias calmly stated. "I wouldn't need to undress either of you, if the two of you would stop getting nearly disemboweled with light weaponry every time I sent you ten feet out of my sight." She said, pouting at the two reincarnated devils with such intense power that it actually made them flinch slightly in guilt.
"Not our fault we're hot commodities, apparently," Trevor retorted, clearly unamused.
"You know what might help with that? Training the two clueless pawns before sending them off into an active minefield," Joe grumbled, rubbing at the spot where he'd taken a bullet to the gut. "It's not like I enjoy nearly dying, y'know…"
"You're right." Rias said, turning her attention onto him, "Which is why, starting tomorrow, the two of you are going to be training to figure out how to properly handle your new bodies. Something that I would have started you on several days ago if I knew you had both already finished high school." she stated, a vein beginning to visibly throb in her forehead as she stared at the bedridden devil with an unamused face.
Joe immediately gave Trevor a dry gaze. "...I see someone changed their mind about revealing that little detail, then," he intoned.
"Mistakes were made," Trevor replied.
Joe turned back to Rias. "What else he say?" The taller man asked, his hand still awkwardly placed on a crying Asia's shoulder. "Also, help."
The rosette gave him a side-eyed glance as she moved forwards to rub gentle circles in between the smaller girl's shoulder blades.
"Nothing, but the fact that the two of you somehow thought you needed to enroll in High School all over again just because you moved to a new country is still something I'm trying to wrap my head around. You don't, by the way. You'll probably still need to attend history lessons, but testing out of the majority of the curriculum should be extremely simple."
"Whatever our reasons for thinking that," Trevor started, giving Joe a look. "We're very thankful we don't have to go to school anymore. Right, Joe?"
"Yes, I'm not sure what came over us when we convinced ourselves that we needed to go through high school all over again." Joe very dryly replied as he kept awkwardly patting Asia on the shoulder.
Rias sighed heavily and stood up as the blonde nun's crying faded into faint hiccups.
"Well, regardless, the rest of us will have to attend school today. I'll talk to my friend Sona, the student council president, and we'll get things squared away so that your absence won't be missed."
She walked over towards the door near where Trevor was standing, and opened it, preparing to walk out. Before she exited in full however, she looked back over her shoulder at Asia, and leaned in towards Trevor's ear, speaking to him in a soft voice.
"You two look after her, okay? She might be a member of the church, with a suspicious healing ability, but she seems harmless enough, and what happened last night seems to have seriously shaken her." she slipped a small sheet of paper, covered in a runic pattern drawn in red ink into the Pawn's hand.
"This took a while for me to make, but it's a sort of distress beacon." she continued whispering to him, "Just tear it in half, and I'll come find you, okay? I don't want either of you getting hurt again." She said, her eyes filled with sincerity, and behind that, perhaps a touch of worried pain.
And then she was out the door, walking down the hall.
Trevor eyed the distress beacon in his hands, then looked back the way she went. She really did seem to care about them a great deal, even though they've known each other for, what, a couple days now? Did it have something to do with being in her peerage, or was she just naturally like that?
He let out a sigh and shrugged, delicately pocketing the paper for now.
"Hey," he said softly, walking to Asia and gently resting a hand on her shoulder. "Anything I can get for you? Water, tea, maybe some food?"
The smaller girl sat up, rubbing at her eyes and hiccuping slightly. Trevor couldn't help but notice that, even teary-eyed and distressed, she looked very beautiful. None of the off-putting side-effects of crying that he had become used to back in his old home.
"Th-thank you, Mister Trevor, I would love something like that." She said, recovering slowly from her earlier breakdown, her hands still shaking slightly as she laid them on her lap.
"Great, same here," Trevor nodded sympathetically and offering his hand to her. "Why don't we go to the common room so I can prepare something and we can let Joe here get some clothes on?"
"I approve of this plan." Joe declared from the bed, naked as he was.
Asia and Trevor walked out the room, the taller devil supporting the petite girl.
Joe remained still for a moment, touching at the spot where he'd been shot, then sighed.
"I never thought I'd get used to being naked in the presence of my friends and coworkers." He remarked in an attempt at some personal levity as he stood from the bed, and began scavenging for clothes.
He'd been deliberately keeping his mind off of the sheer weight of recent events, and was finding the task much more difficult without others in the room to focus on.
So he went about searching for clothes with more fervor than he had previously.
---
"Any kind of tea you prefer?" Trevor asked as he prepared the stove.
"Ah, whatever's easy to make for you would be fine, Mister Trevor." Asia said from where she sat on one of the couches in the main room of the building, nervously fidgeting with the edge of her dress.
"If you don't mind me saying so...you've all been remarkably kind to me," she said, her voice hesitant, and somewhat unsteady, "Even after...after what happened last night." she trailed off weakly, looking down at her lap and fidgeting.
"I got all the reason in the world to be nice to you because of what happened last night," Trevor stated, grabbing the first type of tea he could find, jasmine, and started away at making it. "You went through hell because of that bastard, and then you healed my friend."
"Ah...but...I was there because of Father Sellzen in the first place, and he's the reason the both of you were hurt so badly, and...and I'm part of the church, and you're all...Devils." She finished amely, as though not entirely sure what she was trying to say, her voice sounding weak and confused.
Trevor let out a breath. "Did you pull the trigger?" he asked simply.
"I, no!" Asia squeaked, looking startled and horrified, "I wouldn't, I would never do something like that! Not to somebody as kind as Mister Joe, o-or any of his friends!"
"Then it's not your fault, Asia," Trevor stated with a shrug. "Trust me, I know it's easy to blame yourself in situations like this. But… I dunno, what good is beating yourself up over it gonna do? Putting aside the fact that you're not to blame for what happened, you more than made up for it by healing Joe. He won't resent you for anything, trust me." He then snorted. "He can be bull-headed at times, but he's a reasonable guy. He won't blame you."
At that point, Joe barged into the room, looking like he'd made an effort to get dressed inexplicably quickly, and for but a moment was visibly relieved to see the two in the room as he finished haphazardly pulling on his blazer, but otherwise, didn't speak up immediately as he stopped and began smoothing out his outfit.
"I...thank you. Thank you for that." Asia said, looking down as her eyes threatened to break out into tears once more.
"You're welcome," Trevor said, willing to let it go at that.
Joe, meanwhile, looked about ready to panic at the sight of Asia appearing to be on the verge of tears.
"Uh, uh, uh, uh-" he stood as if bracing himself. Clearly, crying girls wasn't something he handled well.
"Just sit down already, dude," Trevor sighed. If he was at all bothered by a girl once again on the verge of tears, it didn't show. He wanted to get across to Joe that sometimes people just needed to cry it out in order to help them get over stuff, but saying that aloud might not be good with Asia nearby. "Tea's almost ready."
Hesitantly, he took a seat as directed, and awkwardly stared off into the aether, clearly uncomfortable with the emotional Asia.
Not long after, Trevor brought the tea to them and poured a cup for Asia, then Joe.
"So, Asia," he started, adjusting his glasses and crossing his legs while she sipped at the tea. "Tell us about yourself."
"Ah...well, where do you want me to start?" She said, noticeably more calm now, but still somewhat shaken and nervous.
"...How about your healing magic?" Joe suddenly asked, making an attempt at unawkwarding the situation, such as it was. It helped that he was also curious about it, to begin with.
Asia brightened at that, a cheerful smile appearing on her face, before it vanished beneath the weight of nervousness and sadness that she had been carrying all day.
"Ah, well, when I was very, very little, I was abandoned by my mother in front a church." She said, her voice slowly evening out as she began to talk.
"The priests and the clergy there were very kind, and they took me in. The church ran an orphanage, and they took care of me, looked after me. It was wonderful, the sisters were so kind and motherly, and I was so thankful for everything they did for me." She took a sip of her tea, before forging ahead.
"One day, when I was very young, they found a puppy outside the church. He had been hit by a car, and was very badly injured. Looking at him made me so sad, I felt like it wasn't right, that I had to do something, and...and then I did."
She set the teacup down, and began to rub at one of the fingers on her right hand, staring off into the distance.
"Twilight Healing. That's the name of my Sacred Gear, and it was then that it woke up. I healed the puppy, and it was so happy. So glad to be alive…" She trailed off, a beautiful beaming smile painting its way across her face as she stared off into the distance, before shaking herself slightly, and coming back to the present, blushing as she hid her face behind her teacup before continuing.
"The people at the church, they were so impressed, and they started talking with, finding out what else I could do. Twilight Healing is really strong, and it lets me heal almost anything, no matter what it is. They said it was a miracle. People started calling me The Holy Priestess, and I even got made an official sister of the faith. They were all so encouraging and happy about what I could do."
She stopped, fidgeting with the hem of her dress as she set down her teacup, looking down at her lap as her eyes grew sad.
"But then...one day, not long ago, it all changed for me. I remember… I was walking down a path on my way to the church, and I found him. An injured Devil. Lying there in the road. I hadn't ever seen a Devil before. I knew about them, knew that they existed, that they were supposed to be evil and cruel, but...he looked like he was in so much pain. I had to help him, I just couldn't leave him like that. So I used Twilight Healing on him, and it worked. He got better."
Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, her voice beginning to become rough with emotion.
"He left, but...one of the members of the church saw it. Holy Healing magic isn't supposed to work on Devils or Fallen, it just isn't. So they said...they said my power had to be unholy. That I was a witch. And they...they excommunicated me. Kicked me out of the church. I wasn't The Holy Priestess anymore, I was just a Witch." her voice trailed off, and she went quiet, staring down into her lap and her clasped hands, still rubbing her ring finger on her right hand.
Trevor smacked his chops, slowly setting the tea down. That was… a bit more than what Joe had asked about. Still, though, another Sacred Gear wielder...
"...Well. As if I needed another reason to dislike the church…" Joe grumbled. "Fuck those people for doing that-"
He paused, catching himself.
"...When, exactly, did that last incident occur, Asia?"
"E-eh?" The nun startled, confused and off-balance by the strange question. "J-just a few weeks ago, shortly before I moved here, to Japan." she said.
"...Shortly before being shipped off to work with that psychopathic priest." Joe stated with a grimace.
"A-ah...well, the church...didn't actually have anything to do with that." The blonde girl mumbled, a blush forming across her face as she looked down at her lap. "I...I didn't have anywhere to go, and...and I thought...Fallen Angels are still Angels, at least, so they couldn't possibly be all bad..." she trailed off, hiding her face in her hands as a massive blush spread across her features.
"And when I got here, Missus Raynare had me go out with Father Sellzen, because he was excommunicated too, and she said they needed me for something, but it wasn't ready yet, so I might as well help him in case he got hurt." She finished, mumbling into her fingers as she shrank back against the couch.
Joe sighed, and turned to look at Trevor. "...I really don't like the local church."
"You know, I'm starting to feel the same way," Trevor agreed, scratching his beard. "Asia, did you see many Fallen Angels while you were at the church? Like, say, a black-haired teenage girl with pink eyes named Yuma, or an older woman, looks like she's in her twenties, with long black hair?"
"Ah? Well...Ms. Raynare has violet eyes, and the second one sounds like Ms. Kalawarner."
Trevor hummed, then met Joe's gaze. "I think we have the source of our constant near-death experiences, amigo," he told him.
"There was nothing 'near' about the first one, if you'll recall," Joe reminded him. "Yuma killed us outright, it's why Rias had to resurrect us as Devils."
"I-" Trevor cut himself off, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know, dude, don't get caught on the semantics. We just figured out something important here."
"Ah, Mister Trevor? Mister Joe?" Asia said, blushing heavily as they turned to look at her. "I...don't mean to interrupt, but uh...I have to go to the bathroom." She said, looking positively mortified as she finished her sentence, her face red as a tomato.
"Down the hall and the second door on the right," Trevor told her.
"T-thanks." She mumbled, hurriedly standing up and shuffling down the hall, clutching at the front of her dress as she fled from their gaze.
"...So, yeah, we have names to share with Rias now. That'll likely make things a lot easier on her." Joe sighed.
"One can hope," Trevor said, leaning back into his seat and staring up at the ceiling. He bit his lip, considering what next to say. "... Joe, I flat out told Rias that neither of us are going out again until we're trained. I'm sick of this. Every fucking night you've ended up a wreck on the verge of death, and I've barely grazed by on pure luck."
"No fucking shit. I had no intention of setting foot off the school grounds until we've been trained as well. I don't like nearly dying even when I'm trying to be smart about fighting." Joe replied in a low growl.
"Agreed. So let's stack the deck in our favor as much as possible." Trevor leaned forward and looked down at his right arm. "We have these Sacred Gears, but know dick all about them other than we get some kind of adrenaline boost and gives us a healing factor. I have wings, you probably have wings, too, which would be great if we knew how to use them." He pressed his hands together.
"There's also the matter of our fighting styles. We have plenty of options to help us train in certain areas, but we should try to focus in a way that we can at least complement each other since you and I specifically get caught in the shit on our own."
"As you've noticed, I instinctively close distance and get up close and personal. I've got more more of a mind for sword-and-board style fighting, so I'd say I would be a natural fit for drawing aggro… Once I know how to avoid being fucking one-shotted, that is." Joe replied.
"Mhm," Trevor hummed. "And I know martial arts and learned some discipline from that. Even though I'd like to say I prefer magic since that's my usual playstyle in games, that's in games, not in real life. Hard to say if I'll take to magic here or not." He shrugged. "I don't want to assume on that front, so we should focus on developing a way to work together in close quarters."
---
"...So, guess that settles that, then," Joe declared with a sigh.
"We'll run it by Koneko and Kiba to see how their own synergy works," Trevor said.
After both agreeing they sucked at fighting, they proceeded to hash out some kind of plan to get good and play to their strengths. Asia had returned some time ago, but she had looked exhausted, and had fallen asleep on the couch almost the instant she went to sit back down. The two reincarnated Devils had found spare blankets and pillows in one of the closets of the clubhouse, and had laid them down for the small girl.
"...So, we ain't letting her go back to anywhere near those Fallen fucks, right?" Joe asked rhetorically.
"Obviously," Trevor drolled. "Far as I'm concerned, she's staying here. Might have to bring it up with Rias, but," he shrugged. "Rias is a sweetheart, and if we have to appeal to her pragmatic side we can bring up the healing."
Joe nodded, and grimaced as he glanced back down at the girl's bruised cheek.
"...Gonna enjoy disemboweling that fucking Priest," he asserted.
"Yeah, you can definitely have dibs on that front," Trevor assured him, noting the way he was looking at Asia. "I'll content myself with Yuma or that other bitch."
"Rip and tear until it is done," the taller man intoned. "...So, uh, that aside…"
He raised a hand to the back of his head and scratched at it.
"I normally wouldn't bring it up, but considering our situation… You have any crazy dreams involving lots of fire and a voice demanding you stop sucking?"
Trevor blinked, momentarily confused by the non-sequitur, but then nodded. "Uh, yeah, actually," he confirmed. "Well, there wasn't a voice, but there was a huge eyeball staring down at me. I kinda forgot about it since I immediately woke up to a naked Rias all over me."
"...Fair enough," Joe replied. "But still, was there infinite fire in all directions?"
Trevor nodded. "Yeah, I think so. No clue what it could mean, other than some vague prophetic shit."
"...Considering it straight-up demanded that I 'stop being pathetic,' I imagine it's less prophetic and more a literal hellish force letting us know we're being evaluated, or something," he shrugged his shoulders. "Something to bring up to Rias, at any rate."
"Yet another thing to worry about," Trevor said, situating himself so that he was sitting on the floor and leaning against the couch Asia was sleeping on. He grabbed an extra blanket and made himself cozy. "Anyway, I think I'm gonna nap here until they get off school. Still exhausted from last night. Also, uh, kinda want to stay by her just in case."
"I had the same thought… But I'm not really tired, so… I'll just like, read a magazine, or something… Or wait, I'm gonna go check and see if my Vita was brought along with my computer. Back in a jiffy!"
"You do you, boo."
At that, Joe scurried off to their room, leaving Trevor alone with Asia.
===
BakaSmurf and luckychaos Reaction Theater!
===
Luckychaos: I love that we actually have to check whenever we wake up if we're naked or not. Getting stripped while unconscious shouldn't be such a regular occurrence.
Luckychaos: *begins typing 'people make mistakes' "...aaaaah I feel bad." *Amends it to 'Mistakes Were Made'
BakaSmurf: "You know what? I'm not even mad."
Chapter 6: Judas Priest
===
Trevor hissed as the pain slowly faded, but just looking down at his side confirmed the wound was far from truly healed. The boost had only numbed him to pain, it seemed. With a grunt, he forced himself back off the ground as he desperately tried to think of a way to deal with the maniacal priest.
"CHEESE IT!" Joe shouted, immediately turning on his heel to flee when there was no obvious sign that they'd been trapped by some kind of magic field. They were still untrained, and the fucker had a lightsaber and a gun! Trevor was hot on his heels, not feeling up to almost dying again.
"Oh for fuck's sake-" said the priest, his grin taking on a disappointed shade as he raised the pistol in the direction of the two reincarnated demons.
"AIEEEEEEEE!" suddenly, there was a high-pitched, feminine scream from inside the house, and the blond turned around, somewhat startled. Trevor and Joe halted in their tracks, both caught off guard by the sudden revelation that the asshole had a hostage!
"Fucking- couldn't have stayed upstairs for three more minutes!" he spat.
"Figures the one time we had the sense to just retreat…!" Joe cursed as he readied his sword and gauntlet adorning his left arm as an impromptu shield.
"Oh boy, here I go ripping shit out of the ground again," Trevor sighed, finding a perfectly-adequate mailbox and, indeed, ripping it out of the ground. "We gotta flank the fucker," he hastily whispered in Joe's ear. "One of us can sneak in and grab the hostage, then we can leg the fuck out!"
The blonde priest fired off a shot at the two over his shoulder, which went wide and hit the pavement. He dashed back into the house, tossing a jubilant "Follow me, fuckboys!" behind him as he went, rounding the corner of the hallway into one of the side rooms.
Joe turned to Trevor, and eyed the second-story window.
"Flanking maneuver?" he asked.
"Yup," Trevor agreed. "I'm lighter and can move quietly. I'll go up."
Trevor dashed forwards, slightly at an angle from the front of the house, and jumped, hoping that his new status as a devil would allow him to actually pull this off. To both he and Joe's mild surprise, he found himself sailing through the air, easily approaching the second story. Joe had something else entirely to be surprised about.
When Trevor had cleared the ground, a pair of large bat-like wings had sprung from his back.
"Where the fuck did those come from!?" Joe cried out in surprise when his fellow suddenly sprouted a pair of fucking demonic wings.
"Que?" Trevor asked, turning to give Joe a weird look from his perch on the wall, only to squeal upon laying eyes on his newly-acquired appendages. "W-W-What - FUCK YEAH I CAN FLY! … I think." He blinked, and shook his head. "Wait, shit, hostage!"
"WE DOING THIS OR NOT FUCKHEADS!?" came an irritated shout from inside the house.
"FUCK YOU YOU'RE NOT RUINING WINGS FOR ME!" Trevor hollered back, sounding actually offended.
"STOP MAKING OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND AND LET ME KILL YOU ALREADY!" returned the shout. The two reincarnated devils thought they could hear a voice say something in response, but it was too faint to make out the words, and was followed by the sound of a harsh slap.
They both heard that, and Trevor gave Joe a serious nod before clearing his throat. "PROJECTING MUCH?!" he shouted. "HOW WAS THAT ELECTROTHERAPY AT THE CAMP?! DIDN'T GET ALL THE GAY OUTTA YA?!"
While Trevor did his best to get a rise out of the Priest, Joe began creeping forth, speedily yet stealthily as his time hunting in the woods had taught him to do whilst pursuing wary prey. With luck, he'd catch the fucker off guard...
A bolt of light shattered one of the front windows on the house, carving another chunk out the roadway. "YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE CHOKING ON DICK WHEN I RIP YOURS OFF AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT YAH SHITTY DEVIL!"
"OH I JUST KNOW YOU GOT AT LEAST HALF CHUB IMAGINING MY DICK, HUH?!" Trevor hollered, calling on many years of shit-slinging with his friends. He never imagined it might be useful in a hostage situation against a lightsaber-wielding priest, but life had taken many twists and turns lately.
Speed-sneaking his way down the hall and towards the open door the priest had ducked into, Joe made a note to keep his gauntlet over his midsection, as any trained shooter would have the sense to aim for centre of mass. He peeked within to make sure the Priest was actually distracted by Trevor's exceedingly gay taunting.
The Priest was standing near the center of the obvious living room, his body was turned towards the door, but he was faced towards the window, pointing his gun outside. More concerning however, was the short blonde girl laid out on the floor behind him, a bruise forming on her face.
A blonde girl that Joe recognized.
One wearing Nun robes.
Asia Argento… looked as though she was knocked clean out, as if the Priest had haymakered the diminutive girl in the face.
Fucking figured.
Holding the gauntlet in front of him to shield his body from gunshots, Joe kicked off his heel with as much force as he could muster, intending to cannonball the Priest with all two-hundred pounds of his mass.
"SON OF A BITCH I AM GOING TO- GAH!" shouted the priest, as the taller Canadian slammed into him from the side, sending the both of them careening into the opposite wall. He pushed back with a surprising degree of strength however, throwing Joe off of him and following up with a quick swipe from the glowing blade, which Joe managed to bring his gauntleted arm up quickly enough to block.
As the Priest was attempting to press down on Joe, the devil replied by bringing the tip of his sword to bear, fully intending to run him through and tear the blade out though his side.
The Priest shifted abnormally fast, throwing his body to one side. The blade still managed to clip the side of his torso, drawing a faint amount of blood, but the blonde man moved like flowing water, removing his back from the wall, his other arm coming up to fire off a quick shot that grazed the side of Joe's face, leaving a burn down the length of one his cheeks, blowing a hole in the opposite wall.
Hissing in pain, Joe made a point to press the attack regardless, allowing adrenaline to numb his nerves and focus in on the Priest.
As he turned to face the priest, he saw out of the corner of his eye a bloody spatter spread across the wall of the door he'd entered through. Along with what looked to be a corpse nailed to the same wall by its limbs and a stake through the chest.
In the heat of the moment, he made little more than a passing note of it as he focused on fighting the imminently dangerous devil hunter.
"Hey now, this is more like it!" the blonde man said, sounding disturbingly pleased at this turn of events. His face stretched, into a shark-like grin, as he stuck his tongue out disturbingly.
"My name's Father Freed Sellzen, shit-head! And I'm gonna kill-"
He was rudely interrupted by a mailbox swung at the back of his head.
"MOTHER-FUH! AH BIT MAH FUHKIN TUNGE!" the man screamed, one hand grabbing at his face as the other swung behind him with the glowing blade.
Trevor was all too eager to keep pounding away at the asshole, but was forced to dodge lest he get disemboweled by Sellzen's counterattack.
The moment Sellzen shifted to attack Trevor, Joe charged again, reaching out with his gauntleted hand to grab a hold of the arm gripping the lightsaber, aiming to deprive the fucker of his close-quarters weapon.
Getting a hold of the bastard, Joe proceeded to enact step two of his plan, bring his sword down on that god damned arm.
He was stopped, however, by a sudden burning pain in his torso, and the feeling of something tearing a giant hole through his stomach. It felt as though he had been in the gut by a flaming battering ram, and he fell backward, his grip on Freed's arm coming free as shock quickly set in, dulling his senses to the point of blindness.
Trevor saw it all, which meant he unfortunately saw the priest shoot a baseball-sized hole straight through his friend's torso.
He almost ran away right there. Every instinct screamed at him to flee and save himself. That was the smart thing to do, to keep oneself alive over everything else.
"YOU'RE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER!" Freed shouted, turning around and bringing the glowing sword in a devastating swipe straight at Trevor's face.
And then it stopped.
Halted by Kiba's sword.
The blonde member of the occult club stood there as though he had always been present, suddenly in between the Priest and Trevor, the glowing blade trapped in the crossguard of the Knight's sword. There was a rapid exchange of blows, and the two were instantaneously several feet away from each other.
"Well, looks like President was right after all." The knight said, his usual smile gone, with a look of concentration taking its place.
"Oh thank you Jesus-OUCH!" Trevor grumbled, wincing at the headache. "Kiba, I can get the girl and Joe out of here."
"That won't be necessary, Trevor." came a soft feminine voice from behind the pawn, and he turned to Akeno walking out of the door to the stairwell.
"The reason Kiba was so late is that he needed time to activate the distress beacon Rias gave him." She said, as Koneko emerged from the main doorway, pounding a fist into her empty hand, a look of cold disgust on her small face.
"Well then," Trevor said, regarding the new arrivals with relief before looking back at Freed with a glare. He rose his mailbox in a two-handed grip, his hands trembling from exhaustion. He felt about ready to keel over, but he was barely able to keep himself upright. "Let's paste the fucker."
Freed looked disturbingly unconcerned with this turn of events, his grin back on his face as he raised his blade and pistol.
"Well isn't this-"
"EXORCIST."
The interrupting voice came from a point behind Trevor, and was filled with such a deep rage that he could practically feel it as a palpable weight on his shoulders. What made it more disturbing, was that it Rias's voice. The normally sweet and teasing tones replaced with barely-restrained fury.
He turned, and saw her standing there, her eyes glowing a piercing red, as a crackling orb of black and crimson destruction folded into existence above her outstretched palm.
"For hurting one of my precious peerage," she ground out, her voice heavy and tinged with rage, "You. Are. DEAD."
Even though he wasn't the target of such wrath, Trevor found himself instinctively edging away from the furious woman.
"COCK-GOBBLING SON OF A WHORE!" Joe cried out as he rolled over, finally regaining control of his pain-wracked body as he clutched his stomach as the falcata fell from his hand, clattering against the ground with a thud too deep for such a small blade.
It was then that he noticed how unsettlingly dry his open wound was.
"FFFFFFFFUCKING WHHYYYY, I WAS TRYING TO BE SMART THIS TIIIIME…!"
There was a brief moment of pause as Joe's tirade broke the sharp tension of the room, Koneko moving forwards to lift him up over one shoulder and drag him towards the other members of the Peerage.
Rias turned her focus back on Sellzen, the wound in reality above her palm now the size of a basketball.
"Say your last words pries-"
"President! Fallen Angels coming directly towards us!" Kiba interrupted, his eyes locked onto the skyline of the window opposite them.
"JUST KILL THE FUCKER ALREADY!" Joe hollered in indignant fury, wanting to see the Priest turned into a bloody smear before departing.
Unfortunately, Freed had taken advantage of the brief distraction to get the fuck out of dodge, jumping through the shattered window of the building and disappearing among the houses opposite at a speed that, mere days ago, Joe and Trevor would have considered absolute bullshit.
Rias looked entirely ready to start after him, her teeth grit in what was practically a snarl, but Akeno lay a hand on her shoulder.
"Rias, we can't fight the Fallen. Not with the two of them hurt like this." She said, some degree of urgency in her voice.
A war was fought inside Rias's head at that moment, the clashing emotions playing across her face as she struggled against her desire to hunt the Priest down and turn him into ash. Soon however, she let out a heavy sigh, and the glowing orb of destruction dissipated into thin air.
"You're right, Akeno. Come on everybody, I'm teleporting us out of here." she said, her arms raising as a red glyph sprung into existence beneath the members of the occult club.
"There's also an injured girl over here," Trevor added, moving to pick her up from where she lay on the stairs.
"Trevor." Rias interrupted, her voice sounding thoroughly exhausted. "The spell won't take non-devils. We have to leave her behind."
He frowned at that. "And leave her to more psychos to do who knows what with her?" he pressed, gesturing outside.
"Trevor. I can't take her with us, and I'm not letting you or Joe die because of that. The light from that Priest's gun is burning away at his soul, he won't last much longer without healing." She said, a look of tired regret on her face.
"S-she's a heal- FUCKING- healer! Can help, I met her bef- FFFGGGHHH-!" Joe attempted to reason, but the pain was rapidly becoming too much to bear for him to speak coherently, blindly clutching at the open wound with his free hand, and he began babbling hysterically.
Rias's face grew pained as she looked at him, and she looked about the room, before her eyes settled on the blond Knight.
"Kiba, I...I can't…"
"It's alright, President. You don't have to ask me." Kiba said, voice quietly solemn as he stepped away from the glyph on the floor, walking over to where Asia lay unconscious on the ground, and lifting her into his arms.
"...Thank you." Rias whispered. Kiba nodded his head, smiling at her, and blurred, dashing from the house at an absurd speed.
Red light filled Trevor and Joe's vision as the teleportation spell activated, and the next thing they knew, they found themselves on the lawn in front of the Occult Club building, Koneko rushing towards the front door with Joe, now blacked out from pain, hanging over her shoulder.
"Is every night going to be like this?" Trevor asked, giving Rias a hard look as exhaustion and frustration was finally seeping into his bones. He felt like he was moments away from passing out.
Rias shook her head, looking almost as tired as Trevor felt as she followed quickly after Koneko.
"No. This was...the church would never do something that so blatantly threatened the peace like this. I...I don't know what's going on in my town…" She said, her voice quiet and weak, filled with distress and worry as they rushed after the tiny white-haired figure.
Trevor grunted, now using his dented mailbox as a makeshift crutch, leaning heavily on his left side. "... Gotcha. Well. I know we're your subordinates and all… but Joe and I aren't going out there anymore. Not until we can actually fight and not have to discover shit as we go along. I didn't even know I had wings until I tried jumping high."
Rias let out a weak chuckle as they entered the building, "It's only been a few days. The two of you shouldn't have even seen a fallen angel by this point, let alone...this. Trevor, I...I'm going to fix things so that the two of you don't need to attend school tomorrow. We need to get you two in better shape." she said, following up the stairs after Koneko, Akeno falling back to wait by the door of the building.
"Music to my ears," Trevor let out a deep breath. "Learning how to fucking survive takes precedence over retaking high school all over again, I'd say."
Rias turned her head and stared at him, blatant surprise written across her features.
"Retaking?"
"Oh." Trevor blinked. Then recalled he might have just let something slip that he shouldn't have.
Rias let out a heavy sigh, pinching at the bridge of her nose with her fingertips, before lightly smacking Trevor's shoulder, and grumbling quietly.
"Baka." She said, huffing an exasperated breath of air as she marched up the staircase after Joe and Koneko.
"We are GOING to have a conversation about this tomorrow." She said, voice firm in its resolution.
"If I knew the two of you had been through highschool once already, I wouldn't have made you attend it again." She grumbled, marching up the staircase into the room where Koneko had taken Joe.
"Hold on- Wait." Trevor tilted his head to the side, her words finally catching up with him. "Wait, we don't have to take high school over again!?"
Right then, Trevor was quite thankful that when he fucked up, he got them out of high school. When Joe fucked up, he was a bleeding comatose mess on the floor. There might have been a disparity of consequences here.
---
Joe was rather concerned with his current situation.
Either something really fucking bizarre had happened after he fell unconscious, or he was currently dreaming. He didn't have any other explanation for why he found himself in the middle of a giant mass of flames.
He was floating there, in the center of a huge whirling mass of fire, dancing and twirling in an intricate display all around him.
And in the center of the fire, two monolithic jade-green eyes, staring down at him.
Their gaze was a palpable weight on his shoulders, those cat-slit eyes fixed him with such intensity that it felt as though they were staring into his very soul.
And then suddenly, there was a voice. A voice that seemed to come from everywhere around him, deep and rumbling, like the slow movement of a mountain.
"STOP BEING PATHETIC."
He blinked. "THE FUCK YOU JUST SAY TO ME, YOU BITCH!?" Joe shouted, the bizarre calm that he was overtaken with vanishing in an instant as a vein throbbed in his forehead.
And then the flames were gone, the voice was gone, and Joe was opening his eyes.
"Fucking asshole dream voice…!" Joe grumbled the moment he regained consciousness.
Once he'd opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed that he wasn't in tremendous pain anymore. He was laying on a soft bed, his head propped up on a pillow, and a pair of small pale hands were held over his torso, green light washing out from them in a wave over the spot where he had been shot. Asia was sitting in a chair next to the bed, leaning over him, Rias standing several feet behind her, looking much calmer than she had been last night.
He blinked again.
"Oh, they pulled you out after all, huh?" He inquired with a growl, still groggy and annoyed by the asshole voice from the dream.
The nun was startled slightly at his voice, and looked up at him, her face gaining a rather relieved, though nervous, smile.
"Ah! Mister Joe, you're awake!" She said, moving as though she was about to get up and hug him, before evidently thinking better of it, and sitting back down, a faint blush working its way onto her face as she went back to healing his torso.
While internally remarking on how that was actually rather sweet, Joe lifted the sheet at an oblique angle to see if he was naked under it again.
He was.
"I'm tempted to ask who it is that keeps stripping me naked, but something tells me that's a question better left unanswered" Joe sighed as he rubbed his eyes.
"I did." Rias said, walking forwards slightly until she was standing next to the bed Joe was lying in.
"...Thanks for that, Rias." Joe dryly replied.
"Kiba didn't manage to get back for several hours, due to needing to lose the Fallen Angels," the redhead continued. "So I had to keep you stabilized while we waited for your friend to arrive."
She cast an eye over Asia, looking both somewhat relieved, and a hint suspicious.
"I have to say however, for a member of the church to have the power to heal a devil… I've never heard of anything like that."
Asia lowered her head slightly, as though attempting to avoid the question, her face taking on a nervous, and somewhat sad, look.
"...Right, about that," Joe started, looking at the tiny girl himself. "Uh… yeah, thank you for the help, but… what was going on back there? It looked like that creepy gay Priest dude haymakered you out cold."
"I...I don't know." She said, her voice shaking. "I was...Father Sellzen told me that we were heading out to take care of a murderous devil, even though I've never done anything like that before. He told me to go upstairs while he warned the owner of the house we were in about what was going on, but...when I came back down, they were...they were…"
At that point, Asia began to choke up, her hands rising to cover her eyes as tears began to leak out of them, letting loose small hiccuping sobs.
Joe pushed himself into a sitting position, and somewhat awkwardly placed a hand on Asia's shoulder. "Uh… there there…" he said unsteadily.
He was never very good at handling crying girls.
"...Rias, would I be wrong in assuming that the person the Priest had staked to that wall wasn't even a devil?" He asked the taller of the two girls.
Rias looked at him, her face containing some unreadable emotion, and slowly shook her head, not saying anything.
"...Fucking… I shouldn't have led you to that church after all then…" he grumbled to Asia while running a hand through his hair.
"You're the last person that should need to beat yourself up over that," Trevor commented as he walked into the room. "Well, second-last, maybe." He sighed, before a worn smile crawled its way onto his clearly-tired expression. "Anyway, glad to see you awake and, uh…" He narrowed his eyes.
"Naked? Yes, I am very naked under these sheets, thanks for asking." Joe interjected.
Trevor snorted. "Yeah, that. Should've figured, leaving you at night with Rias."
"I only do it out of necessity." Rias calmly stated. "I wouldn't need to undress either of you, if the two of you would stop getting nearly disemboweled with light weaponry every time I sent you ten feet out of my sight." She said, pouting at the two reincarnated devils with such intense power that it actually made them flinch slightly in guilt.
"Not our fault we're hot commodities, apparently," Trevor retorted, clearly unamused.
"You know what might help with that? Training the two clueless pawns before sending them off into an active minefield," Joe grumbled, rubbing at the spot where he'd taken a bullet to the gut. "It's not like I enjoy nearly dying, y'know…"
"You're right." Rias said, turning her attention onto him, "Which is why, starting tomorrow, the two of you are going to be training to figure out how to properly handle your new bodies. Something that I would have started you on several days ago if I knew you had both already finished high school." she stated, a vein beginning to visibly throb in her forehead as she stared at the bedridden devil with an unamused face.
Joe immediately gave Trevor a dry gaze. "...I see someone changed their mind about revealing that little detail, then," he intoned.
"Mistakes were made," Trevor replied.
Joe turned back to Rias. "What else he say?" The taller man asked, his hand still awkwardly placed on a crying Asia's shoulder. "Also, help."
The rosette gave him a side-eyed glance as she moved forwards to rub gentle circles in between the smaller girl's shoulder blades.
"Nothing, but the fact that the two of you somehow thought you needed to enroll in High School all over again just because you moved to a new country is still something I'm trying to wrap my head around. You don't, by the way. You'll probably still need to attend history lessons, but testing out of the majority of the curriculum should be extremely simple."
"Whatever our reasons for thinking that," Trevor started, giving Joe a look. "We're very thankful we don't have to go to school anymore. Right, Joe?"
"Yes, I'm not sure what came over us when we convinced ourselves that we needed to go through high school all over again." Joe very dryly replied as he kept awkwardly patting Asia on the shoulder.
Rias sighed heavily and stood up as the blonde nun's crying faded into faint hiccups.
"Well, regardless, the rest of us will have to attend school today. I'll talk to my friend Sona, the student council president, and we'll get things squared away so that your absence won't be missed."
She walked over towards the door near where Trevor was standing, and opened it, preparing to walk out. Before she exited in full however, she looked back over her shoulder at Asia, and leaned in towards Trevor's ear, speaking to him in a soft voice.
"You two look after her, okay? She might be a member of the church, with a suspicious healing ability, but she seems harmless enough, and what happened last night seems to have seriously shaken her." she slipped a small sheet of paper, covered in a runic pattern drawn in red ink into the Pawn's hand.
"This took a while for me to make, but it's a sort of distress beacon." she continued whispering to him, "Just tear it in half, and I'll come find you, okay? I don't want either of you getting hurt again." She said, her eyes filled with sincerity, and behind that, perhaps a touch of worried pain.
And then she was out the door, walking down the hall.
Trevor eyed the distress beacon in his hands, then looked back the way she went. She really did seem to care about them a great deal, even though they've known each other for, what, a couple days now? Did it have something to do with being in her peerage, or was she just naturally like that?
He let out a sigh and shrugged, delicately pocketing the paper for now.
"Hey," he said softly, walking to Asia and gently resting a hand on her shoulder. "Anything I can get for you? Water, tea, maybe some food?"
The smaller girl sat up, rubbing at her eyes and hiccuping slightly. Trevor couldn't help but notice that, even teary-eyed and distressed, she looked very beautiful. None of the off-putting side-effects of crying that he had become used to back in his old home.
"Th-thank you, Mister Trevor, I would love something like that." She said, recovering slowly from her earlier breakdown, her hands still shaking slightly as she laid them on her lap.
"Great, same here," Trevor nodded sympathetically and offering his hand to her. "Why don't we go to the common room so I can prepare something and we can let Joe here get some clothes on?"
"I approve of this plan." Joe declared from the bed, naked as he was.
Asia and Trevor walked out the room, the taller devil supporting the petite girl.
Joe remained still for a moment, touching at the spot where he'd been shot, then sighed.
"I never thought I'd get used to being naked in the presence of my friends and coworkers." He remarked in an attempt at some personal levity as he stood from the bed, and began scavenging for clothes.
He'd been deliberately keeping his mind off of the sheer weight of recent events, and was finding the task much more difficult without others in the room to focus on.
So he went about searching for clothes with more fervor than he had previously.
---
"Any kind of tea you prefer?" Trevor asked as he prepared the stove.
"Ah, whatever's easy to make for you would be fine, Mister Trevor." Asia said from where she sat on one of the couches in the main room of the building, nervously fidgeting with the edge of her dress.
"If you don't mind me saying so...you've all been remarkably kind to me," she said, her voice hesitant, and somewhat unsteady, "Even after...after what happened last night." she trailed off weakly, looking down at her lap and fidgeting.
"I got all the reason in the world to be nice to you because of what happened last night," Trevor stated, grabbing the first type of tea he could find, jasmine, and started away at making it. "You went through hell because of that bastard, and then you healed my friend."
"Ah...but...I was there because of Father Sellzen in the first place, and he's the reason the both of you were hurt so badly, and...and I'm part of the church, and you're all...Devils." She finished amely, as though not entirely sure what she was trying to say, her voice sounding weak and confused.
Trevor let out a breath. "Did you pull the trigger?" he asked simply.
"I, no!" Asia squeaked, looking startled and horrified, "I wouldn't, I would never do something like that! Not to somebody as kind as Mister Joe, o-or any of his friends!"
"Then it's not your fault, Asia," Trevor stated with a shrug. "Trust me, I know it's easy to blame yourself in situations like this. But… I dunno, what good is beating yourself up over it gonna do? Putting aside the fact that you're not to blame for what happened, you more than made up for it by healing Joe. He won't resent you for anything, trust me." He then snorted. "He can be bull-headed at times, but he's a reasonable guy. He won't blame you."
At that point, Joe barged into the room, looking like he'd made an effort to get dressed inexplicably quickly, and for but a moment was visibly relieved to see the two in the room as he finished haphazardly pulling on his blazer, but otherwise, didn't speak up immediately as he stopped and began smoothing out his outfit.
"I...thank you. Thank you for that." Asia said, looking down as her eyes threatened to break out into tears once more.
"You're welcome," Trevor said, willing to let it go at that.
Joe, meanwhile, looked about ready to panic at the sight of Asia appearing to be on the verge of tears.
"Uh, uh, uh, uh-" he stood as if bracing himself. Clearly, crying girls wasn't something he handled well.
"Just sit down already, dude," Trevor sighed. If he was at all bothered by a girl once again on the verge of tears, it didn't show. He wanted to get across to Joe that sometimes people just needed to cry it out in order to help them get over stuff, but saying that aloud might not be good with Asia nearby. "Tea's almost ready."
Hesitantly, he took a seat as directed, and awkwardly stared off into the aether, clearly uncomfortable with the emotional Asia.
Not long after, Trevor brought the tea to them and poured a cup for Asia, then Joe.
"So, Asia," he started, adjusting his glasses and crossing his legs while she sipped at the tea. "Tell us about yourself."
"Ah...well, where do you want me to start?" She said, noticeably more calm now, but still somewhat shaken and nervous.
"...How about your healing magic?" Joe suddenly asked, making an attempt at unawkwarding the situation, such as it was. It helped that he was also curious about it, to begin with.
Asia brightened at that, a cheerful smile appearing on her face, before it vanished beneath the weight of nervousness and sadness that she had been carrying all day.
"Ah, well, when I was very, very little, I was abandoned by my mother in front a church." She said, her voice slowly evening out as she began to talk.
"The priests and the clergy there were very kind, and they took me in. The church ran an orphanage, and they took care of me, looked after me. It was wonderful, the sisters were so kind and motherly, and I was so thankful for everything they did for me." She took a sip of her tea, before forging ahead.
"One day, when I was very young, they found a puppy outside the church. He had been hit by a car, and was very badly injured. Looking at him made me so sad, I felt like it wasn't right, that I had to do something, and...and then I did."
She set the teacup down, and began to rub at one of the fingers on her right hand, staring off into the distance.
"Twilight Healing. That's the name of my Sacred Gear, and it was then that it woke up. I healed the puppy, and it was so happy. So glad to be alive…" She trailed off, a beautiful beaming smile painting its way across her face as she stared off into the distance, before shaking herself slightly, and coming back to the present, blushing as she hid her face behind her teacup before continuing.
"The people at the church, they were so impressed, and they started talking with, finding out what else I could do. Twilight Healing is really strong, and it lets me heal almost anything, no matter what it is. They said it was a miracle. People started calling me The Holy Priestess, and I even got made an official sister of the faith. They were all so encouraging and happy about what I could do."
She stopped, fidgeting with the hem of her dress as she set down her teacup, looking down at her lap as her eyes grew sad.
"But then...one day, not long ago, it all changed for me. I remember… I was walking down a path on my way to the church, and I found him. An injured Devil. Lying there in the road. I hadn't ever seen a Devil before. I knew about them, knew that they existed, that they were supposed to be evil and cruel, but...he looked like he was in so much pain. I had to help him, I just couldn't leave him like that. So I used Twilight Healing on him, and it worked. He got better."
Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, her voice beginning to become rough with emotion.
"He left, but...one of the members of the church saw it. Holy Healing magic isn't supposed to work on Devils or Fallen, it just isn't. So they said...they said my power had to be unholy. That I was a witch. And they...they excommunicated me. Kicked me out of the church. I wasn't The Holy Priestess anymore, I was just a Witch." her voice trailed off, and she went quiet, staring down into her lap and her clasped hands, still rubbing her ring finger on her right hand.
Trevor smacked his chops, slowly setting the tea down. That was… a bit more than what Joe had asked about. Still, though, another Sacred Gear wielder...
"...Well. As if I needed another reason to dislike the church…" Joe grumbled. "Fuck those people for doing that-"
He paused, catching himself.
"...When, exactly, did that last incident occur, Asia?"
"E-eh?" The nun startled, confused and off-balance by the strange question. "J-just a few weeks ago, shortly before I moved here, to Japan." she said.
"...Shortly before being shipped off to work with that psychopathic priest." Joe stated with a grimace.
"A-ah...well, the church...didn't actually have anything to do with that." The blonde girl mumbled, a blush forming across her face as she looked down at her lap. "I...I didn't have anywhere to go, and...and I thought...Fallen Angels are still Angels, at least, so they couldn't possibly be all bad..." she trailed off, hiding her face in her hands as a massive blush spread across her features.
"And when I got here, Missus Raynare had me go out with Father Sellzen, because he was excommunicated too, and she said they needed me for something, but it wasn't ready yet, so I might as well help him in case he got hurt." She finished, mumbling into her fingers as she shrank back against the couch.
Joe sighed, and turned to look at Trevor. "...I really don't like the local church."
"You know, I'm starting to feel the same way," Trevor agreed, scratching his beard. "Asia, did you see many Fallen Angels while you were at the church? Like, say, a black-haired teenage girl with pink eyes named Yuma, or an older woman, looks like she's in her twenties, with long black hair?"
"Ah? Well...Ms. Raynare has violet eyes, and the second one sounds like Ms. Kalawarner."
Trevor hummed, then met Joe's gaze. "I think we have the source of our constant near-death experiences, amigo," he told him.
"There was nothing 'near' about the first one, if you'll recall," Joe reminded him. "Yuma killed us outright, it's why Rias had to resurrect us as Devils."
"I-" Trevor cut himself off, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know, dude, don't get caught on the semantics. We just figured out something important here."
"Ah, Mister Trevor? Mister Joe?" Asia said, blushing heavily as they turned to look at her. "I...don't mean to interrupt, but uh...I have to go to the bathroom." She said, looking positively mortified as she finished her sentence, her face red as a tomato.
"Down the hall and the second door on the right," Trevor told her.
"T-thanks." She mumbled, hurriedly standing up and shuffling down the hall, clutching at the front of her dress as she fled from their gaze.
"...So, yeah, we have names to share with Rias now. That'll likely make things a lot easier on her." Joe sighed.
"One can hope," Trevor said, leaning back into his seat and staring up at the ceiling. He bit his lip, considering what next to say. "... Joe, I flat out told Rias that neither of us are going out again until we're trained. I'm sick of this. Every fucking night you've ended up a wreck on the verge of death, and I've barely grazed by on pure luck."
"No fucking shit. I had no intention of setting foot off the school grounds until we've been trained as well. I don't like nearly dying even when I'm trying to be smart about fighting." Joe replied in a low growl.
"Agreed. So let's stack the deck in our favor as much as possible." Trevor leaned forward and looked down at his right arm. "We have these Sacred Gears, but know dick all about them other than we get some kind of adrenaline boost and gives us a healing factor. I have wings, you probably have wings, too, which would be great if we knew how to use them." He pressed his hands together.
"There's also the matter of our fighting styles. We have plenty of options to help us train in certain areas, but we should try to focus in a way that we can at least complement each other since you and I specifically get caught in the shit on our own."
"As you've noticed, I instinctively close distance and get up close and personal. I've got more more of a mind for sword-and-board style fighting, so I'd say I would be a natural fit for drawing aggro… Once I know how to avoid being fucking one-shotted, that is." Joe replied.
"Mhm," Trevor hummed. "And I know martial arts and learned some discipline from that. Even though I'd like to say I prefer magic since that's my usual playstyle in games, that's in games, not in real life. Hard to say if I'll take to magic here or not." He shrugged. "I don't want to assume on that front, so we should focus on developing a way to work together in close quarters."
---
"...So, guess that settles that, then," Joe declared with a sigh.
"We'll run it by Koneko and Kiba to see how their own synergy works," Trevor said.
After both agreeing they sucked at fighting, they proceeded to hash out some kind of plan to get good and play to their strengths. Asia had returned some time ago, but she had looked exhausted, and had fallen asleep on the couch almost the instant she went to sit back down. The two reincarnated Devils had found spare blankets and pillows in one of the closets of the clubhouse, and had laid them down for the small girl.
"...So, we ain't letting her go back to anywhere near those Fallen fucks, right?" Joe asked rhetorically.
"Obviously," Trevor drolled. "Far as I'm concerned, she's staying here. Might have to bring it up with Rias, but," he shrugged. "Rias is a sweetheart, and if we have to appeal to her pragmatic side we can bring up the healing."
Joe nodded, and grimaced as he glanced back down at the girl's bruised cheek.
"...Gonna enjoy disemboweling that fucking Priest," he asserted.
"Yeah, you can definitely have dibs on that front," Trevor assured him, noting the way he was looking at Asia. "I'll content myself with Yuma or that other bitch."
"Rip and tear until it is done," the taller man intoned. "...So, uh, that aside…"
He raised a hand to the back of his head and scratched at it.
"I normally wouldn't bring it up, but considering our situation… You have any crazy dreams involving lots of fire and a voice demanding you stop sucking?"
Trevor blinked, momentarily confused by the non-sequitur, but then nodded. "Uh, yeah, actually," he confirmed. "Well, there wasn't a voice, but there was a huge eyeball staring down at me. I kinda forgot about it since I immediately woke up to a naked Rias all over me."
"...Fair enough," Joe replied. "But still, was there infinite fire in all directions?"
Trevor nodded. "Yeah, I think so. No clue what it could mean, other than some vague prophetic shit."
"...Considering it straight-up demanded that I 'stop being pathetic,' I imagine it's less prophetic and more a literal hellish force letting us know we're being evaluated, or something," he shrugged his shoulders. "Something to bring up to Rias, at any rate."
"Yet another thing to worry about," Trevor said, situating himself so that he was sitting on the floor and leaning against the couch Asia was sleeping on. He grabbed an extra blanket and made himself cozy. "Anyway, I think I'm gonna nap here until they get off school. Still exhausted from last night. Also, uh, kinda want to stay by her just in case."
"I had the same thought… But I'm not really tired, so… I'll just like, read a magazine, or something… Or wait, I'm gonna go check and see if my Vita was brought along with my computer. Back in a jiffy!"
"You do you, boo."
At that, Joe scurried off to their room, leaving Trevor alone with Asia.
===
BakaSmurf and luckychaos Reaction Theater!
===
Luckychaos: I love that we actually have to check whenever we wake up if we're naked or not. Getting stripped while unconscious shouldn't be such a regular occurrence.
Luckychaos: *begins typing 'people make mistakes' "...aaaaah I feel bad." *Amends it to 'Mistakes Were Made'
BakaSmurf: "You know what? I'm not even mad."
- Location
- West Michigan
The Funny rating is exactly what this story needed.
I see that Baka has an account here, but lucky doesn't, at least not under that name. So the SV addendum needs to be updated just a tad bit.
ADDITIONAL NOTE TO SV READERS: @BakaSmurf is apparently a real-life oblivious harem protagonist. No joke. He only put the pieces together a few months ago, during some back-and-forth with commenters in Fate/Noble Shade.
I see that Baka has an account here, but lucky doesn't, at least not under that name. So the SV addendum needs to be updated just a tad bit.
ADDITIONAL NOTE TO SV READERS: @BakaSmurf is apparently a real-life oblivious harem protagonist. No joke. He only put the pieces together a few months ago, during some back-and-forth with commenters in Fate/Noble Shade.
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
I have specifically told Baka to not come into this thread, as it has a higher risk of spoilers attached to it.
Also, thank you for the compliment.
Chapter 7: Physically Educated
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
===
Chapter 07: Physical Education
===
The air was brisk, and carried with it the faint scent of sakura blossoms. Joe and Trevor were standing together on the hill nearby the school exit, waiting for Rias and the other members of the occult club to get out of school. There were only several minutes left, and there were several students who were moving about the school early, excused for various reasons.
Very soon, the final bell rang, and the doors to the school opened as the horde of students made their surprisingly sedate exit. The two reincarnated devils peered through the crowd, hoping to catch sight of Rias or another member of the peerage.
They were not standing there long however, when a student diverted from the crowd and made a beeline towards them. It was a brunette girl with glasses, and a figure just as attractive as the majority of people they had seen so far were. She was also immediately recognizable as the figure the two boys had seen being chased by a mob of angry female teenagers previously. She was staring at the two of them with a sharp gaze, eyes furrowed behind her glasses as she adjusted them, a glint of light reflecting off the rims.
Joe sighed as the alleged pervert girl's gaze was fixated on them.
"... Can we help you?" Trevor asked wearily.
The Girl stared at them for another half a second, before her eyes flashed and a victorious grin spread itself across her features, she pointed dramatically at the pair, legs set in a triumphant stance, and announced with conviction:
"SCOUTER! SEVEN INCHES, EIGHT INCHES!" pointing directly at the two reincarnated devils' crotches as her glasses flashed with menacing light in a distinctly anime fashion.
Trevor gave her a bland look, before sending one Joe's way as well.
Joe returned the look, and sighed in defeat.
"What does it say about my life that this isn't the weirdest encounter I've had with a random girl before coming here?" He asked Trevor rhetorically.
"That you're either extremely unlucky, or cursed, beefcake." The girl replied, snickering mischievously.
"Kiryuu…" There was a low growling sound, and it suddenly felt as though a large predator was looming over the two guys as a black haired girl with violet eyes seemed to spontaneously appear behind the perverted highschool student, radiating a visible aura of terror that caused the brunette to freeze in her place, slowly turning her head to face the towering menace behind her.
Joe and Trevor could swear they heard a whimper not unlike that of an injured puppy as the girl quailed before the eldritch wrath of the ravenette.
"Ah...Student Council President...how nice to see you." She managed to say in a trembling voice, flinching as the ravenette girl's hand clasped around her shoulder like an iron manacle.
Trevor's eyes widened at the sudden display of actual magic, reflexively taking a step back and tensing up.
Joe blinked, and took a moment to process that the Prez was actually giving off a visible demonic hell aura.
So another devil, then.
"What have I said about this kind of perverted thing happening in my school?" The newly introduced student council president asked, likely rhetorically, as the brunette pervert seemed to have fainted out of fear.
The ravenette turned her eyes upon the two reincarnated devils, and blinked, the aura of terror disappearing as though it had never existed, leaving behind a rather short, serious looking girl, with glasses that wouldn't look out of place on an elderly librarian.
"Ah, you two are Rias's, aren't you?" she asked, easily supporting the weight of the collapsed pervert with one hand.
"... Uh, yeah," Trevor asked slowly, looking over the president. "Thanks for stepping in, though it was more just annoying than anything."
"...Yeah, I've dealt with worse, but the intervention is appreciated nonetheless, ma'am," Joe agreed with an appreciative nod, making an effort to come across as polite to the girl.
"Hpmh. The rules are in place to be obeyed, and that applies to Ms. Kiryuu as much as it does those two perverted monkeys." The ravenette responded.
Joe blinked, wondering who she was talking about-
"Ooooh, right. Those two weirdos that clung to my leg and begged me to get them laid a few days back," He nodded in understanding. "Yeah, that was just sad."
The girl huffed out a sigh, rubbing at the bridge of her nose with her left hand, "That sounds disappointingly in character with the infamous 'pervert duo'." she grumbled, before fixing her eyes on Joe with a piercing stare, "I trust that I will have no problems with either of you following their example, correct?" she asked, and for a minute the aura of antediluvian terror surrounded her being again.
"Have the rumours changed to no longer reflect the reality of my calling them a weird pair of perverts and demanding that they stay away from me?" Joe asked in a dry, bemused tone in spite of the girl's attempt to be intimidating.
"Good." the girl responded, seeming to shrink back down to her normal petite size. "Now then, Rias explained your situation to me, so rest assured that there will be no problems with regards to your attendance in the majority of classes. However, there will be history lessons, and you will attend them." She said, her voice as resolute as an iron wall.
Joe nodded in agreement, noting that the devil was actually rather on the cute side when she wasn't channeling Cthulhu.
"Rias was looking for the pair of you," she continued, "she's waiting for you in the outdoor area near to the gym. Unfortunately my own peerage is too busy to assist in your training at the moment, so I expect the pair of you to work hard in bringing yourselves to an acceptable level."
"Thanks for letting us know," Trevor said. "What was your name? I'm Trevor, but I don't remember ever being introduced properly."
"Joe, by the way," the taller of the two men added.
The ravenette stared at the pair of them for a second, before seeming to deflate somewhat, breathing an exasperated sigh. "That girl completely forgot to tell you about me, didn't she?" she said, sounding simultaneously annoyed, and unsurprised.
She straightened, brushing at her clothing as she stared at the two of them with what seemed like an attempt at a regal air.
"I am Sona Sitri, heir of the Sitri clan of devils, and Rias's childhood friend. I am also the student council president of Kuo Academy, and share formal control of this town with Rias. The Student Council are all members of my peerage, so if either of you are having problems, you can feel free to ask any of them. Assuming they aren't busy with more important tasks."
"...Wow. Talk about a slip-up on Rias' part," Joe stated. "In like, every sense of the word. It's a pleasure to meet you regardless, ma'am."
Trevor nodded in appreciation, while making sure to mentally note that devils actually outright controlled the town.
"To be fair, my first instinct when I meet someone isn't usually to tell them about all my friends," Trevor allowed. "Still kinda lame, though. Also, huh, 'Sitri' is the name of a demon from the Ars Goetia, if I recall correctly. That's pretty cool. Oh, and it's nice to meet you, of course."
Sona seemed to puff herself up at the compliment, almost like a preening bird. "Indeed, the Sitri house is one of the surviving thirty-three of the original seventy-two pillars since before the great war, and have been a fixture in hell since its genesis. It is entirely unsurprising we would be mentioned in that propaganda piece written by Solomon."
"Propaganda piece?" Trevor echoed, sputtering with laughter at hearing the Ars Goetia of all things being called such. "Pfft, I guess that makes sense, huh?"
"That… Yeah, it actually does make sense that the Ars Goetia is propaganda, knowing what we know now," Joe agreed while suppressing a chuckle. "Apologies, we don't mean to seem insensitive, this is all just rather new to us."
"Make no mistake, Solomon was an immensely powerful magician, likely the greatest since Merlin himself, but there was a war going on, and the King was most decisively not on our side." The girl said, adjusting her glasses. "Given that the pair of you have only been devils for such a short time, it is to be expected that you wouldn't know much about our history."
Joe blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, then processed his words. "Merlin? Older than Solomon?"
"Hm, that doesn't jive with what I know, but come to think of it…" Trevor mused, rubbing his beard. "Merlin was half-incubus, right? What were those called again?"
"Cambions, if I'm remembering correctly," Joe offered.
"Right, those," Trevor nodded. "In light of that, him being immortal would allow for him to be around before Solomon. Still though… damn. That's kinda cool, honestly."
"It's all rather more complicated than that, but I'll leave it up to Rias to explain the details to you. I need to see to Ms. Kiryuu's disciplinary punishment." Sona responded, throwing the unconscious brunette over her shoulder easily and beginning to walk back towards the school. "I wish you luck in your training, but knowing Akeno, it won't help you that much."
"I'd say my body is ready, but even I know that's not true," Trevor sighed, sagging a little. "I guess learning actual magic has to come at some kind of price."
---
Several minutes later, the two reincarnated devils found themselves standing on the hard-packed dirt of a baseball diamond behind the Academy, Rias, Akeno, and Kiba standing across from them, Koneko conspicuously absent.
Trevor frowned at her absence, peering around to look for her. "Is Koneko busy?" he asked the rest of the peerage.
"I think she's retrieving something from the club room." Rias said, eyes alight with hidden mirth. "For now, we can get you two started on what it is you want to learn, what it is you need to learn, and anything else that you're missing."
"Well, just to get this out of the way, we just met Sona. She saved us from a pervert, and also mentioned that she's your childhood friend that controls half of the town," Joe immediately informed the beautiful redhead.
"Ah...I completely forgot to tell you about her, didn't I?" Rias said, eyes widening slightly with realization. "Well, you've met her now, so at least that got taken care of relatively quickly. I should explain though, when Sona says we 'control the town', what she means is that this area is technically under our shared jurisdiction. Other devils aren't allowed to act in our domain, and it's our job to handle things like stray devils, and the occasional rampaging Yokai. We don't literally run the town from the mayor's office. We'd never have time to get anything done."
So more like how an organized crime gang functions with territory then, Joe thought to himself.
"Okay, anything else we should know before moving onto business?" he inquired.
Rias rested her chin in her palm, closing her eyes. "Well, you already know about the wings, you're going to need some practice to be able to actually fly with those, but they're largely instinctual. In addition, being a Devil gives you the ability to naturally comprehend and speak all the languages of mankind. I'm sure you've noticed by now that you're rather stronger and more durable than a human, and that the effects are amplified at night, with daytime being somewhat draining. Really, that, the inherent weakness to angelic Light and religious icons are the only things that apply to the both of you, so you don't have to worry on that front."
Joe suddenly realized that, looking back on things, Asia had been speaking German the entire time they were talking to her, but he had no problems understanding her, and the words came as naturally to him as English. So naturally that he had never noticed they were speaking another Language entirely.
Rias turned to the shorter of the two pawns.
"Trevor, you're going to need to learn how magic functions, but that will largely be up to Akeno, as my magic is dependant on my bloodline, and doesn't follow the same rules."
"Roger that," he responded, looking over at Akeno, noting with some mild trepidation that she had a malicious glint in her eye. "... I swear, the things I do to learn magic…" he grumbled.
"I'm here." Came Koneko's soft voice from the sidelines.
Trevor let out a small sigh of relief upon hearing her, then his eyes bulged upon laying eyes on the massive backpack she was lugging on her shoulders. She was also carrying a boombox over her head, giving Trevor the distinct impression they were going to be jamming for this training session.
"That. Is. Awesome," Trevor stated dumbly.
"...Conspicuous, much?" Joe quered at the absurd sight, not knowing how else to process seeing such a comical anime trope in real life.
The petite girl had shrugged the backpack off her shoulders as they were talking, unzipping the top to reveal a towering stack of tupperware containers filled with various kinds of food, as well as several bags of assorted chips.
"Training makes me hungry." She said, staring deadpan at the two foreigners.
"Considering I metabolize like crazy, I'm right there with you," Trevor said, nodding at the display.
The members of the occult club split off into two groups, Akeno and Rias walking with Trevor to one end of the large baseball diamond, while Koneko and Kiba lead Joe over to the other side.
But not before Koneko leaned over and pressed a button on the boombox, which began to promptly blare the opening bars of an immediately familiar song.
Joe's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped at the familiar tune that came blaring out of the speakers. Followed by shifting into a wide, toothy grin. "Looks like we're rising up, straight to the top, eh?" He laughed heartily as Eye of the Tiger blared in all its corny glory. "You just got a thousand times awesomer than you already were, Koneko!"
Koneko nodded firmly, expression entirely serious as she looked at Joe. "Mmh. Tradition. Very important."
Joe found himself thinking that maybe this training wouldn't be so bad after all.
---
"Come on Joe, try and keep up!" Came Kiba's cheerful voice from several feet ahead of Joe, a voice that he had never expected himself to so quickly come to hate.
"Where the fuck did you even find a boulder like this?!" He grunted as he strained under the weight of both the enormous slab of rock he was hauling on his back, and Koneko sitting on top of it, munching on one of her lunch boxes.
Joe really hated being proven wrong.
"Come on Joe, just five more laps around the diamond and then we can move on!" Kiba encouraged, easily pacing ahead of the pawn, despite carrying a similar stone on his own shoulders.
"How is it possible to feel like such a tiny babby man while doing such a great Atlas impression…!?" Joe despaired, making a concerted effort to not openly include Koneko's weight in the equation.
---
"Five-hundred and thirty nine, five-hundred and forty, go faster, five-hundred and forty one..."
Joe struggled through another pushup as Koneko's dry, steady count sounded through his ears from where she was sitting on his back, her crossed legs pressing down on the back of his neck.
He was tempted to crack a joke about her weight, but his self-preservation instincts prevailed over his desire to die from the hellish training montage.
Dust tickled its way down his ear as a crunching sound made itself known above him.
"Are you eating fucking chips?!" He grunted as he forced himself through more pushups.
"Training makes me hungry. Keep going." Koneko replied, absolutely no mercy contained within her deadpan tone.
"...Hanging tough, staying hungry…" he sung along with the song that she had on repeat, his desire to die slowly catching up with his survival instincts.
---
Joe franticatically ducked as Rocky music played through his ears, Kiba's blunted training sword cutting through the air over his head with a dull whistling noise. The wooden blades the knight was swinging at him may not have had an edge, but as he'd painfully discovered already, they still fucking hurt!
"You'd think becoming a devil would make getting hit by a damn stick less painful!" He grunted, frantically parrying another of the Kiba's lightning-fast swipes.
"Of course it does! Which is why I made these with the property of 'gravity' instilled in them." Kiba cheerfully replied, his smile dimmer now that he was concentrating on pushing the pawn around like a ragdoll. "Each time they swing, they get heavier. I'm told it stings quite a bit."
"You don't fucking say!"
---
"Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods~?"
"I remember dodgeball being less painful than this!" Joe yelled as he ducked under a stone the size of a basketball that went whizzing past his head.
"Then you were playing it wrong." came Koneko's voice from where she stood opposite him, lightly tossing another chunk of cobble in her palm, before it pitching it towards the pawn at a speed that resulted in the rock's kicking up clouds of dust from where they smashed into the ground like tiny meteors.
"If you can dodge a rock, you might be able to dodge a bullet next time." she said, winding up for another toss.
He'd make a comment on how savage that statement was, but Joe was too preoccupied with attempting to dodge the tiny girl's terrifyingly fast stones.
---
Meanwhile, Trevor found himself facing the greatest and most painful experience any student could possibly undergo.
A lecture.
"So you see, the way Devil magic works is largely based on imagination, but there are caveats. For one thing, it is vastly easier to destroy with Devil magic then it is to create, to the point where only one Devil is known to be able to use his magic for the purpose of building something, instead of tearing it down. That Devil is one of the Four Great Maou however, so it's practically impossible." Akeno explained, waving a hand at the actual fucking blackboard she had somehow dragged out to the baseball diamond.
Trevor nodded along seriously, rubbing his beard until raising a hand. "Question: who are the Four Great Maou?"
"I was just about to get into that, seeing as how one of them serves as a great example here. The Four Maou is just one of their titles, they are also called The Four Satans, and The Arch-Dukes of Hell. Basically, they're the highest authority that exists in Hell. They're its rulers, and the ones who have the ultimate say in all matters. They consist of the following devils: Falbium Asmodeus, Ajuka Beelzebub, Serafell Leviathan, and Sirzechs Lucifer."
Trevor's eye widened upon recognizing those names. Or the last names, at least.
"Another Ars Goetia demon," he murmured. "And the Lord of the Flies, a Biblical monster, and the Fallen Prince… are these four the original holders of those names?"
Akeno shook her head, a serious expression on her face. "Thankfully, no, they're not. The original Four Great Satans all died in the great war against heaven, and the ones that currently bear those names are the strongest four devils alive, equal to, or even greater than the originals in strength. The important difference however, is that the current Four Maou have absolutely no desire to get into another war with Heaven. Not after the last one so thoroughly decimated the populations of Devil kind. If the original four were alive today, it's likely the war never would have ended until every single Angel, Devil, and Fallen, was dead."
"Hm," Trevor hummed. He was dubious of them actually being dead, considering how these things tended to go, but arguing that would just derail the point of this. "So which one of the Four Maou can create with his magic?"
"Ajuka Beelzebub. The same Devil that created the Evil Pieces." Akeno responded, less serious now, but still giving her words a great deal of weight. "He's a genius, quite possibly the smartest Devil to have ever lived, and he possesses a unique application of Devil magic that's never been successfully recreated. The Kankara Formula. It allows Ajuka complete control over all natural phenomena, using the power of math to alter the laws of reality."
"Hot damn," Trevor said, leaning back and plainly impressed. "That's awesome. And he's the only user of that because he's just that smart?"
"Either that, or the way he views the world is so inherently different that nobody has ever been able to copy him." Akeno shrugged, "To find out which it is, you'd need to ask him, and as you can imagine, he's not particularly inclined to tell everybody exactly how his power works."
She shook her head, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. "We're getting off track, the point is that Devil magic is largely dependant on three things, your imagination, your force of will, and your Demonic Power. As Rias told you earlier, you and Joe have a very small amount of the last ingredient, so you need to make up for it with even more of the first two, got it?"
"Got it," Trevor said, smiling slightly. "I've got an over-active imagination, so the former shouldn't be a problem."
He styled himself a writer, after all, and what kind of writer had a bad imagination?
---
Writing doesn't normally feel like your head is getting beat with a fucking sledgehammer! Except if writer's block is involved!
Trevor was sitting in a meditative pose, his legs crossed, his hands on either of his knees. Just a foot away from him, there was a candle, sitting in a tiny metal dish. According to Akeno, his task was to try and light the candle, using his magic.
Which he would be fine with, except for the fact that trying to imagine a flame into existence was apparently really fucking painful!
He tried to keep it simple, at first. He imagined a match being struck, the snap of ignition and then the gentle warmth of a tiny flame being born. He held onto that image, being sure to go into painstaking detail over all of the senses involved, and then tried applying those sensations and feelings to the candle.
Naturally, that didn't work.
Slowly, he tried increasingly intense imagery. A hearth, then a bonfire. Then a house aflame, and then that fire spreading throughout a neighborhood. The Chicago Fire came to mind, and when that didn't work he thought of the raging forest fires that ravaged California. Infernos, volcanoes, hell, fiery monsters from games and movies came to mind, producing nothing.
He was getting frustrated now, angry. The world around him was slowly fading out as he centered all his attention on the candle in front of him, the small details in it becoming obvious as he turned his anger into a cold internal fury, sharp and focused. He could see the faint pattern in the wax of the candle, the way the wick was charred at the end from where it had been previously burning, the small drops of melted wax that had rolled down the side of it.
As his anger grew, his mind turned to the last things he could think of related to fire. Dragons. Massive beasts of primordial flame. And then to his dream, the endless walls of moving fire, the giant emerald-slit eye.
"BOOST!"
Trevor's concentration was shattered with the sudden voice of his sacred gear, its weight on his arm, and a loud BANG that knocked him flat on his ass, his ears ringing.
His vision swam as he pulled himself into a sitting position, staring at the now merrily-flickering candle, and the large circle of charred grass surrounding it.
"Well, for your first time that was certainly explosive~" came Akeno's teasing voice from behind him. "Next time watch to make sure you don't get it all over yourself in your enthusiasm, okay~?"
"Wuh…" Trevor would've normally had some sort 'witty' remark to her banter, but right now he was openly gaping at… at… "Holy shit, I'M MAGICAL!" he shouted ecstatically, pumping his fists into the air. "HELL YEAH!"
Hauling ass past Trevor, barely managing to avoid being pelted by stones which were damn near breaking the sound barrier, Joe couldn't help but congratulate his comrade-in-arms.
"Glad to hear it man!" He sarcastically declared.
"Thanks for your unwavering support, bud!" Trevor shouted back, too jazzed to care.
"I suppose it would make sense for Twice Critical to push you over the edge," Akeno mused, "Its purpose is to double the wielder's power, naturally that would apply to Demonic Power as well as willpower."
She turned to face the sooty pawn, a grin forming across her face. "Alright Trevor, now you just need to do that another forty-nine times, and we'll move on to the next exercise!'
"You got it," Trevor replied, still riding the high of using magic for the first time. He blinked, then snorted. "Surprised you let an opportunity to use 'sixty-nine' pass you by like that."
"Oh honey, I'm not that easy~"
"Sure, sure," he said, eagerly getting back into his meditative pose. "Whatever you say, Akeno."
"Oops! Almost forgot to increase the difficulty."
Trevor felt a finger poke the back of his head, and suddenly it was as though all his thoughts were crawling through molasses as they made their way through his brain. Akeno's voice was muffled, as if he were underwater.
"Come on now, forty-nine more times before we move on~"
---
"Next exercise, defensive magic!"
Akeno's cheerful voice was completely at odds with the crackling energy that seemed to course over her body, tiny flickers of lightning jumping away to fry blades of grass around her.
"I recommend you either adapt fast, or start running, sweetheart!"
Trevor gulped, seriously considering running and screaming like a baby right then and there. But he was held back the knowledge that she wouldn't kill him… right?
Frantically, he imagined dragons again. It had worked with the flames when everything else had failed, which meant there was some kind of connection there. That time, he thought of the thick scales that covered their hides. Indomitable, impregnable, harder than diamond.
Trevor thought he could almost feel something, a faint tingling in the back of his mind, perhaps, a sensation he had no real words to describe, as though he suddenly found himself with an extra sense that he had never had before.
And then the lightning hit him.
It wasn't a very powerful bolt, it stung like a bitch, and set his hairs on end, but he could already tell it wasn't particularly dangerous by the way his body didn't lock up like an iron bar and start spasming.
All the same, he hissed in pain, eyes tearing up. He clenched his hands into fists so as to brace himself, concentrating as hard as he could not to keel over right then.
"One failure, try again." Came Akeno's cheerful voice.
The focus he had felt earlier started to come back to Trevor, the world around him falling away as he put everything he had into his mental construct, on the idea of those scales forming around him, on the pain of that bolt being shrugged away.
And then the lightning hit him again.
This was probably going to take a while.
---
It was about thirty minutes later when a slightly jittery Trevor, bits of his hair still standing on end, finally managed the spell.
There was the flash of the lightning bolt, piercing its way through his now frustrated and intense focus, but the pain he'd come to associate with it never hit home.
The lightning hadn't touched him.
For a brief second, he saw something hanging in mid-air in front of him, a translucent curving pattern, like part of a dome or a sphere, see-through and made of red light, hanging there in the sky in the shape of reptilian scales.
"Aw shit," Trevor breathed, gaping at the shield before him. The shield he'd made. "Akeno, I'm doing the thing!"
"Very good, Trevor!" Said Akeno, clapping her hands together lightly as a smile made its way across her face.
"Now comes the stress-test." She said, still smiling gently as a much larger bolt of lightning appeared in the sky over her head.
"No wai-"
"Just remember, Trevor, you asked for this! And the safe word is Pineapple!" came Akeno's sing-song voice.
"Wait why do we need a saAAAAAGH!"
---
"Okay you two, focus on the muscles in between your shoulder blades. It should be mostly based on instinct, so once you get the process started, the rest should go smoothly." Rias said, clapping her hands together as her own wings flared from her back, jagged planes of black leather that honestly didn't look like they would catch anywhere near enough wind to allow flight.
"Question," Joe stated, weakly raising his horribly over-worked arm. "How is it that we don't need to be topless for this to work? And how do those distinctly un-winglike things allow for flight?"
"Th-They look m-more like c-c-claws than anything," Trevor observed, jittery as all hell. Joe could've sworn he smelled something crisping from his friend, as well.
"Good question Joe, simply put, Devils, and by extension, Angels, Fallen, and other supernatural beings, are inherently creatures of magic. Our wings are one of the most blatant representations of that. While we can appear as human with them hidden, they are distinctly impossible by nature, a sort of marker that we are not entirely beings of natural law. The wings are more less entirely constructed of our innate magic, even though they feel like they're a part of your body. Because they are." Rias shook her head slightly and sighed.
"Honestly it's confusing even for me, this sort of thing was never my field of study per se, so the exact mechanics of it escape me. After all, I doubt either of you can give me a detailed explanation of how the muscles in your arm work together."
Joe shrugged. "Well, if it works, it works."
At that, the two focused as she instructed. It wasn't long after that the black wings unfurled from their backs, Trevor staring at them with giddy delight even through his strained body.
It felt strange, like having an extra pair of limbs that didn't feel at all out of place despite never having once appeared on his body before hand.
He immediately started experimenting to see if it was possible to perform next-level crude hand gestures using them.
Sadly, the wings did not seem to have enough maneuverability to let him flip people off with four limbs at once.
"Alright you two, we'll start simply. Just some basic stretching and jumping exercises to get you used to the feeling. Just follow my movements."
They spent the next thirty or so minutes just moving about, exploring the way their new limbs could bend and move. After the hell training the two of them had just gone through, this seemed rather more like Yoga.
That didn't mean that moving those strained muscles was painless, of course, but Joe would take it over getting boulders chucked at his head any day of the week.
Several hours passed this way, and the two of them had just worked out how to get themselves a decent height into the air, not flying, but merely jumping, and using their wings to glide, when Rias called a stop.
---
"Alright you two, you can go ahead and rest now. I'm very happy with the progress you've both made today. It may not seem like all that much, but it's a good start, and we'll keep at it from here on out." Rias said, clapping her hands together with a proud smile on her face.
Koneko walked over to join them, chucking a bag of chips at the two pawns, already halfway through a box of pocky herself.
Night had fallen by this point, bathing the field in the gentle dim glow that Trevor and Joe had become accustomed to by this point. Their new Devilish eyes turning the dark of night into more of a calm blueish-purple, as easy to see in as daylight, perhaps even easier.
"... So, uh," Trevor began, somewhat tiredly. "I can shoot a fireball now. And make a small shield in front of me. So that's pretty cool."
"My everything hurts," Joe replied. "Also, I can actually dodge the damn-near super-sonic shit Koneko-Sensei-Sama was throwing at me. And track Kiba."
Koneko flashed a thumbs-up at him, deadpan face containing perhaps a faint spark of smug pride. He groaned before continuing.
"Not dodge or keep up with him, but I can actually see him when he's flash-stepping around now. It's something, considering he used to teleport the fuck around like god- Gah, fuck! - like Goku."
"Doooope," Trevor droned. He blinked. "Oh, uh, right. Bee tee dubs, this is a question for whoever may know: what's the deal with dragons in this world? Because I only made any progress with magic when I imagined dragon stuff."
Rias blinked, looking slightly taken aback, before resting a palm against her cheek and closing her eyes in thought.
"Well, it's entirely possible that dragons are just something you hold a very important place in your being for, and they're an easy focus for you, but… listen Joe, Trevor, when God-" Trevor noticed a faint twitch, and a slight grimace that worked its way across her face as she no doubt was hit with the stinging pain that came from a Devil saying that word, "-created the Sacred Gears, he caused quite the major shift in the status quo of how things had been. Not only because humans suddenly had a new way to defend themselves, but because of how he made them."
She crossed her arms under her chest, pushing her breasts up noticeably as she continued. "Not much is known about Sacred Gears, even now, thousands of years later, but one of the things that is known is that many sacred gears have a power source, something that enables the abilities they have. One of the thirteen Longinus-class sacred gears for instance, famously contains an imprisoned Nemean Lion. The power source isn't known for many Sacred Gears, but one of the things that IS known is that every Twice Critical is powered by an imprisoned dragon."
Trevor opened his mouth, then closed it. Putting aside the fact that Nemean Lions were real now, because of course they were, what she basically said was…
"... Joe and I have dragon batteries, is what I'm getting here," Trevor drolled. "Probably. Which might have the freaky dreams we've been having make a little more sense." He lazily turned to look at Joe. "Which totally means you called a dragon a bitch, by the way."
"...Well it started talking shit first!" He pouted defensively.
"Wait, dreams?" Rias asked, staring at the two, her eyes holding noticeable concern. "That...is not normal. I've never heard of a Twice Critical wielder dreaming about the dragon in their Sacred Gear before. It's possible it just isn't common knowledge, but all the same…"
"We've both had only one dream, far as I know," Trevor elaborated. "Mine involved a lot of flames and a big ol' green Eye of Sauron staring down at me. I would've thought more of it, but then I woke up to you naked in my bed. Which kinda took precedence at the time."
"Hmm. That's...worrying. I'll have to talk to my older brother and see if he's heard of something like that before. Anyways, what do you think that dragons are? I'm asking because there's a lot of stories about dragons, and I need to get an idea of what you're working off of before I tell you what they're actually like."
"Hm," Trevor hummed. "Well, I know their appearance and role changes depending on the region, but to me, they were a obsession of mine since I was a little kid. Fuckin' loved dragons, hell, I slept with a plush dragon and Godzilla back in the day." He sighed wistfully. "They can either be incredibly destructive and savage, or wise and cunning. Too many variations in-between. Still always badass, though."
Rias nodded, pleased. "That's a much better base than I thought you might have. Alright you two, here's the truth about dragons:"
Rias took a pose not unlike a stereotypical teacher, hips cocked to one side, with a hand raised in the air.
"The first, and most important thing you have to know, is that no two dragons are ever alike. They're as unique and varied as snowflakes, though they often share common traits based on the country that shaped them. Dragons from the west often have four limbs, and massive wings, Dragons from the east often have long bodies, with no wings, and power over the air."
"Dragons are not born, the way normal creatures are. They are not in any way natural beings. They don't hatch from eggs, they don't give live birth. No Dragon has ever had a mother, or a father, or children. Dragons aren't even creatures, not really, what they are, is power."
She looked the two pawns over for emphasis before continuing. "I mean that literally. Dragons, real Dragons, are concentrations of power that have built up of the centuries, belief, thoughts, hopes, fears, these things draw together and build until they eventually reach a tipping point, critical mass, and a Dragon is born. They are, quite literally, raw unfiltered power, given form, and a mind."
"Somehow that both makes me really excited and terrified at the same time," Trevor stated. "Sounds like they have the potential to be really, really good… or just flat-out evil, if they have enough concentrated negativity."
"Well that's hardly the only way for a dragon to be evil, once they've hit that point, they have as much free will as any human, but you're not wrong. Perhaps the best example of that is the two Heavenly Dragons, Albion, and Ddraig. Neither of them were evil, so to speak, but they've been at war with each other for as long as either of them has existed, and with how powerful they were, people sometimes got caught in the crossfire."
"In fact, if it wasn't for their eternal rivalry, the Great War may still be going on now."
She shook her head as she looked at the two pawns struggling to stay upright on the grass in front of her.
"Anyways, that's something we can talk about tomorrow. The two of you look like you're about to pass out on the grass, and I don't want to have to pay Koneko in snacks for her to drag you both back to the dorms."
The petite white-haired girl visibly pouted at that, a small downward tick of her otherwise stoic expression.
"Probably smart," Trevor agreed, pushing himself up and off the ground with a loud groan. "We'll save the history lesson for later. Oh, yeah, Koneko," he looked over at her, "When can you and I do a private lesson on martial arts? Because I at least have something to work on there and I can't rely on magic for a while yet."
After her answer, the members of the Occult Club walked back to the club building, the two of them dragging themselves along far more noticeably than the others.
Though neither Joe nor Trevor were quite prepared for Asia's incredibly nervous mothering once she saw the bruised state of them.
==============
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theatre!
Baka: Oh man, if there's a dragon in our sacred gear, did I just call our power source a bitch?
Lucky: Well he did call you a bitch first, so...
Chapter 07: Physical Education
===
The air was brisk, and carried with it the faint scent of sakura blossoms. Joe and Trevor were standing together on the hill nearby the school exit, waiting for Rias and the other members of the occult club to get out of school. There were only several minutes left, and there were several students who were moving about the school early, excused for various reasons.
Very soon, the final bell rang, and the doors to the school opened as the horde of students made their surprisingly sedate exit. The two reincarnated devils peered through the crowd, hoping to catch sight of Rias or another member of the peerage.
They were not standing there long however, when a student diverted from the crowd and made a beeline towards them. It was a brunette girl with glasses, and a figure just as attractive as the majority of people they had seen so far were. She was also immediately recognizable as the figure the two boys had seen being chased by a mob of angry female teenagers previously. She was staring at the two of them with a sharp gaze, eyes furrowed behind her glasses as she adjusted them, a glint of light reflecting off the rims.
Joe sighed as the alleged pervert girl's gaze was fixated on them.
"... Can we help you?" Trevor asked wearily.
The Girl stared at them for another half a second, before her eyes flashed and a victorious grin spread itself across her features, she pointed dramatically at the pair, legs set in a triumphant stance, and announced with conviction:
"SCOUTER! SEVEN INCHES, EIGHT INCHES!" pointing directly at the two reincarnated devils' crotches as her glasses flashed with menacing light in a distinctly anime fashion.
Trevor gave her a bland look, before sending one Joe's way as well.
Joe returned the look, and sighed in defeat.
"What does it say about my life that this isn't the weirdest encounter I've had with a random girl before coming here?" He asked Trevor rhetorically.
"That you're either extremely unlucky, or cursed, beefcake." The girl replied, snickering mischievously.
"Kiryuu…" There was a low growling sound, and it suddenly felt as though a large predator was looming over the two guys as a black haired girl with violet eyes seemed to spontaneously appear behind the perverted highschool student, radiating a visible aura of terror that caused the brunette to freeze in her place, slowly turning her head to face the towering menace behind her.
Joe and Trevor could swear they heard a whimper not unlike that of an injured puppy as the girl quailed before the eldritch wrath of the ravenette.
"Ah...Student Council President...how nice to see you." She managed to say in a trembling voice, flinching as the ravenette girl's hand clasped around her shoulder like an iron manacle.
Trevor's eyes widened at the sudden display of actual magic, reflexively taking a step back and tensing up.
Joe blinked, and took a moment to process that the Prez was actually giving off a visible demonic hell aura.
So another devil, then.
"What have I said about this kind of perverted thing happening in my school?" The newly introduced student council president asked, likely rhetorically, as the brunette pervert seemed to have fainted out of fear.
The ravenette turned her eyes upon the two reincarnated devils, and blinked, the aura of terror disappearing as though it had never existed, leaving behind a rather short, serious looking girl, with glasses that wouldn't look out of place on an elderly librarian.
"Ah, you two are Rias's, aren't you?" she asked, easily supporting the weight of the collapsed pervert with one hand.
"... Uh, yeah," Trevor asked slowly, looking over the president. "Thanks for stepping in, though it was more just annoying than anything."
"...Yeah, I've dealt with worse, but the intervention is appreciated nonetheless, ma'am," Joe agreed with an appreciative nod, making an effort to come across as polite to the girl.
"Hpmh. The rules are in place to be obeyed, and that applies to Ms. Kiryuu as much as it does those two perverted monkeys." The ravenette responded.
Joe blinked, wondering who she was talking about-
"Ooooh, right. Those two weirdos that clung to my leg and begged me to get them laid a few days back," He nodded in understanding. "Yeah, that was just sad."
The girl huffed out a sigh, rubbing at the bridge of her nose with her left hand, "That sounds disappointingly in character with the infamous 'pervert duo'." she grumbled, before fixing her eyes on Joe with a piercing stare, "I trust that I will have no problems with either of you following their example, correct?" she asked, and for a minute the aura of antediluvian terror surrounded her being again.
"Have the rumours changed to no longer reflect the reality of my calling them a weird pair of perverts and demanding that they stay away from me?" Joe asked in a dry, bemused tone in spite of the girl's attempt to be intimidating.
"Good." the girl responded, seeming to shrink back down to her normal petite size. "Now then, Rias explained your situation to me, so rest assured that there will be no problems with regards to your attendance in the majority of classes. However, there will be history lessons, and you will attend them." She said, her voice as resolute as an iron wall.
Joe nodded in agreement, noting that the devil was actually rather on the cute side when she wasn't channeling Cthulhu.
"Rias was looking for the pair of you," she continued, "she's waiting for you in the outdoor area near to the gym. Unfortunately my own peerage is too busy to assist in your training at the moment, so I expect the pair of you to work hard in bringing yourselves to an acceptable level."
"Thanks for letting us know," Trevor said. "What was your name? I'm Trevor, but I don't remember ever being introduced properly."
"Joe, by the way," the taller of the two men added.
The ravenette stared at the pair of them for a second, before seeming to deflate somewhat, breathing an exasperated sigh. "That girl completely forgot to tell you about me, didn't she?" she said, sounding simultaneously annoyed, and unsurprised.
She straightened, brushing at her clothing as she stared at the two of them with what seemed like an attempt at a regal air.
"I am Sona Sitri, heir of the Sitri clan of devils, and Rias's childhood friend. I am also the student council president of Kuo Academy, and share formal control of this town with Rias. The Student Council are all members of my peerage, so if either of you are having problems, you can feel free to ask any of them. Assuming they aren't busy with more important tasks."
"...Wow. Talk about a slip-up on Rias' part," Joe stated. "In like, every sense of the word. It's a pleasure to meet you regardless, ma'am."
Trevor nodded in appreciation, while making sure to mentally note that devils actually outright controlled the town.
"To be fair, my first instinct when I meet someone isn't usually to tell them about all my friends," Trevor allowed. "Still kinda lame, though. Also, huh, 'Sitri' is the name of a demon from the Ars Goetia, if I recall correctly. That's pretty cool. Oh, and it's nice to meet you, of course."
Sona seemed to puff herself up at the compliment, almost like a preening bird. "Indeed, the Sitri house is one of the surviving thirty-three of the original seventy-two pillars since before the great war, and have been a fixture in hell since its genesis. It is entirely unsurprising we would be mentioned in that propaganda piece written by Solomon."
"Propaganda piece?" Trevor echoed, sputtering with laughter at hearing the Ars Goetia of all things being called such. "Pfft, I guess that makes sense, huh?"
"That… Yeah, it actually does make sense that the Ars Goetia is propaganda, knowing what we know now," Joe agreed while suppressing a chuckle. "Apologies, we don't mean to seem insensitive, this is all just rather new to us."
"Make no mistake, Solomon was an immensely powerful magician, likely the greatest since Merlin himself, but there was a war going on, and the King was most decisively not on our side." The girl said, adjusting her glasses. "Given that the pair of you have only been devils for such a short time, it is to be expected that you wouldn't know much about our history."
Joe blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, then processed his words. "Merlin? Older than Solomon?"
"Hm, that doesn't jive with what I know, but come to think of it…" Trevor mused, rubbing his beard. "Merlin was half-incubus, right? What were those called again?"
"Cambions, if I'm remembering correctly," Joe offered.
"Right, those," Trevor nodded. "In light of that, him being immortal would allow for him to be around before Solomon. Still though… damn. That's kinda cool, honestly."
"It's all rather more complicated than that, but I'll leave it up to Rias to explain the details to you. I need to see to Ms. Kiryuu's disciplinary punishment." Sona responded, throwing the unconscious brunette over her shoulder easily and beginning to walk back towards the school. "I wish you luck in your training, but knowing Akeno, it won't help you that much."
"I'd say my body is ready, but even I know that's not true," Trevor sighed, sagging a little. "I guess learning actual magic has to come at some kind of price."
---
Several minutes later, the two reincarnated devils found themselves standing on the hard-packed dirt of a baseball diamond behind the Academy, Rias, Akeno, and Kiba standing across from them, Koneko conspicuously absent.
Trevor frowned at her absence, peering around to look for her. "Is Koneko busy?" he asked the rest of the peerage.
"I think she's retrieving something from the club room." Rias said, eyes alight with hidden mirth. "For now, we can get you two started on what it is you want to learn, what it is you need to learn, and anything else that you're missing."
"Well, just to get this out of the way, we just met Sona. She saved us from a pervert, and also mentioned that she's your childhood friend that controls half of the town," Joe immediately informed the beautiful redhead.
"Ah...I completely forgot to tell you about her, didn't I?" Rias said, eyes widening slightly with realization. "Well, you've met her now, so at least that got taken care of relatively quickly. I should explain though, when Sona says we 'control the town', what she means is that this area is technically under our shared jurisdiction. Other devils aren't allowed to act in our domain, and it's our job to handle things like stray devils, and the occasional rampaging Yokai. We don't literally run the town from the mayor's office. We'd never have time to get anything done."
So more like how an organized crime gang functions with territory then, Joe thought to himself.
"Okay, anything else we should know before moving onto business?" he inquired.
Rias rested her chin in her palm, closing her eyes. "Well, you already know about the wings, you're going to need some practice to be able to actually fly with those, but they're largely instinctual. In addition, being a Devil gives you the ability to naturally comprehend and speak all the languages of mankind. I'm sure you've noticed by now that you're rather stronger and more durable than a human, and that the effects are amplified at night, with daytime being somewhat draining. Really, that, the inherent weakness to angelic Light and religious icons are the only things that apply to the both of you, so you don't have to worry on that front."
Joe suddenly realized that, looking back on things, Asia had been speaking German the entire time they were talking to her, but he had no problems understanding her, and the words came as naturally to him as English. So naturally that he had never noticed they were speaking another Language entirely.
Rias turned to the shorter of the two pawns.
"Trevor, you're going to need to learn how magic functions, but that will largely be up to Akeno, as my magic is dependant on my bloodline, and doesn't follow the same rules."
"Roger that," he responded, looking over at Akeno, noting with some mild trepidation that she had a malicious glint in her eye. "... I swear, the things I do to learn magic…" he grumbled.
"I'm here." Came Koneko's soft voice from the sidelines.
Trevor let out a small sigh of relief upon hearing her, then his eyes bulged upon laying eyes on the massive backpack she was lugging on her shoulders. She was also carrying a boombox over her head, giving Trevor the distinct impression they were going to be jamming for this training session.
"That. Is. Awesome," Trevor stated dumbly.
"...Conspicuous, much?" Joe quered at the absurd sight, not knowing how else to process seeing such a comical anime trope in real life.
The petite girl had shrugged the backpack off her shoulders as they were talking, unzipping the top to reveal a towering stack of tupperware containers filled with various kinds of food, as well as several bags of assorted chips.
"Training makes me hungry." She said, staring deadpan at the two foreigners.
"Considering I metabolize like crazy, I'm right there with you," Trevor said, nodding at the display.
The members of the occult club split off into two groups, Akeno and Rias walking with Trevor to one end of the large baseball diamond, while Koneko and Kiba lead Joe over to the other side.
But not before Koneko leaned over and pressed a button on the boombox, which began to promptly blare the opening bars of an immediately familiar song.
Joe's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped at the familiar tune that came blaring out of the speakers. Followed by shifting into a wide, toothy grin. "Looks like we're rising up, straight to the top, eh?" He laughed heartily as Eye of the Tiger blared in all its corny glory. "You just got a thousand times awesomer than you already were, Koneko!"
Koneko nodded firmly, expression entirely serious as she looked at Joe. "Mmh. Tradition. Very important."
Joe found himself thinking that maybe this training wouldn't be so bad after all.
---
"Come on Joe, try and keep up!" Came Kiba's cheerful voice from several feet ahead of Joe, a voice that he had never expected himself to so quickly come to hate.
"Where the fuck did you even find a boulder like this?!" He grunted as he strained under the weight of both the enormous slab of rock he was hauling on his back, and Koneko sitting on top of it, munching on one of her lunch boxes.
Joe really hated being proven wrong.
"Come on Joe, just five more laps around the diamond and then we can move on!" Kiba encouraged, easily pacing ahead of the pawn, despite carrying a similar stone on his own shoulders.
"How is it possible to feel like such a tiny babby man while doing such a great Atlas impression…!?" Joe despaired, making a concerted effort to not openly include Koneko's weight in the equation.
---
"Five-hundred and thirty nine, five-hundred and forty, go faster, five-hundred and forty one..."
Joe struggled through another pushup as Koneko's dry, steady count sounded through his ears from where she was sitting on his back, her crossed legs pressing down on the back of his neck.
He was tempted to crack a joke about her weight, but his self-preservation instincts prevailed over his desire to die from the hellish training montage.
Dust tickled its way down his ear as a crunching sound made itself known above him.
"Are you eating fucking chips?!" He grunted as he forced himself through more pushups.
"Training makes me hungry. Keep going." Koneko replied, absolutely no mercy contained within her deadpan tone.
"...Hanging tough, staying hungry…" he sung along with the song that she had on repeat, his desire to die slowly catching up with his survival instincts.
---
Joe franticatically ducked as Rocky music played through his ears, Kiba's blunted training sword cutting through the air over his head with a dull whistling noise. The wooden blades the knight was swinging at him may not have had an edge, but as he'd painfully discovered already, they still fucking hurt!
"You'd think becoming a devil would make getting hit by a damn stick less painful!" He grunted, frantically parrying another of the Kiba's lightning-fast swipes.
"Of course it does! Which is why I made these with the property of 'gravity' instilled in them." Kiba cheerfully replied, his smile dimmer now that he was concentrating on pushing the pawn around like a ragdoll. "Each time they swing, they get heavier. I'm told it stings quite a bit."
"You don't fucking say!"
---
"Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods~?"
"I remember dodgeball being less painful than this!" Joe yelled as he ducked under a stone the size of a basketball that went whizzing past his head.
"Then you were playing it wrong." came Koneko's voice from where she stood opposite him, lightly tossing another chunk of cobble in her palm, before it pitching it towards the pawn at a speed that resulted in the rock's kicking up clouds of dust from where they smashed into the ground like tiny meteors.
"If you can dodge a rock, you might be able to dodge a bullet next time." she said, winding up for another toss.
He'd make a comment on how savage that statement was, but Joe was too preoccupied with attempting to dodge the tiny girl's terrifyingly fast stones.
---
Meanwhile, Trevor found himself facing the greatest and most painful experience any student could possibly undergo.
A lecture.
"So you see, the way Devil magic works is largely based on imagination, but there are caveats. For one thing, it is vastly easier to destroy with Devil magic then it is to create, to the point where only one Devil is known to be able to use his magic for the purpose of building something, instead of tearing it down. That Devil is one of the Four Great Maou however, so it's practically impossible." Akeno explained, waving a hand at the actual fucking blackboard she had somehow dragged out to the baseball diamond.
Trevor nodded along seriously, rubbing his beard until raising a hand. "Question: who are the Four Great Maou?"
"I was just about to get into that, seeing as how one of them serves as a great example here. The Four Maou is just one of their titles, they are also called The Four Satans, and The Arch-Dukes of Hell. Basically, they're the highest authority that exists in Hell. They're its rulers, and the ones who have the ultimate say in all matters. They consist of the following devils: Falbium Asmodeus, Ajuka Beelzebub, Serafell Leviathan, and Sirzechs Lucifer."
Trevor's eye widened upon recognizing those names. Or the last names, at least.
"Another Ars Goetia demon," he murmured. "And the Lord of the Flies, a Biblical monster, and the Fallen Prince… are these four the original holders of those names?"
Akeno shook her head, a serious expression on her face. "Thankfully, no, they're not. The original Four Great Satans all died in the great war against heaven, and the ones that currently bear those names are the strongest four devils alive, equal to, or even greater than the originals in strength. The important difference however, is that the current Four Maou have absolutely no desire to get into another war with Heaven. Not after the last one so thoroughly decimated the populations of Devil kind. If the original four were alive today, it's likely the war never would have ended until every single Angel, Devil, and Fallen, was dead."
"Hm," Trevor hummed. He was dubious of them actually being dead, considering how these things tended to go, but arguing that would just derail the point of this. "So which one of the Four Maou can create with his magic?"
"Ajuka Beelzebub. The same Devil that created the Evil Pieces." Akeno responded, less serious now, but still giving her words a great deal of weight. "He's a genius, quite possibly the smartest Devil to have ever lived, and he possesses a unique application of Devil magic that's never been successfully recreated. The Kankara Formula. It allows Ajuka complete control over all natural phenomena, using the power of math to alter the laws of reality."
"Hot damn," Trevor said, leaning back and plainly impressed. "That's awesome. And he's the only user of that because he's just that smart?"
"Either that, or the way he views the world is so inherently different that nobody has ever been able to copy him." Akeno shrugged, "To find out which it is, you'd need to ask him, and as you can imagine, he's not particularly inclined to tell everybody exactly how his power works."
She shook her head, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. "We're getting off track, the point is that Devil magic is largely dependant on three things, your imagination, your force of will, and your Demonic Power. As Rias told you earlier, you and Joe have a very small amount of the last ingredient, so you need to make up for it with even more of the first two, got it?"
"Got it," Trevor said, smiling slightly. "I've got an over-active imagination, so the former shouldn't be a problem."
He styled himself a writer, after all, and what kind of writer had a bad imagination?
---
Writing doesn't normally feel like your head is getting beat with a fucking sledgehammer! Except if writer's block is involved!
Trevor was sitting in a meditative pose, his legs crossed, his hands on either of his knees. Just a foot away from him, there was a candle, sitting in a tiny metal dish. According to Akeno, his task was to try and light the candle, using his magic.
Which he would be fine with, except for the fact that trying to imagine a flame into existence was apparently really fucking painful!
He tried to keep it simple, at first. He imagined a match being struck, the snap of ignition and then the gentle warmth of a tiny flame being born. He held onto that image, being sure to go into painstaking detail over all of the senses involved, and then tried applying those sensations and feelings to the candle.
Naturally, that didn't work.
Slowly, he tried increasingly intense imagery. A hearth, then a bonfire. Then a house aflame, and then that fire spreading throughout a neighborhood. The Chicago Fire came to mind, and when that didn't work he thought of the raging forest fires that ravaged California. Infernos, volcanoes, hell, fiery monsters from games and movies came to mind, producing nothing.
He was getting frustrated now, angry. The world around him was slowly fading out as he centered all his attention on the candle in front of him, the small details in it becoming obvious as he turned his anger into a cold internal fury, sharp and focused. He could see the faint pattern in the wax of the candle, the way the wick was charred at the end from where it had been previously burning, the small drops of melted wax that had rolled down the side of it.
As his anger grew, his mind turned to the last things he could think of related to fire. Dragons. Massive beasts of primordial flame. And then to his dream, the endless walls of moving fire, the giant emerald-slit eye.
"BOOST!"
Trevor's concentration was shattered with the sudden voice of his sacred gear, its weight on his arm, and a loud BANG that knocked him flat on his ass, his ears ringing.
His vision swam as he pulled himself into a sitting position, staring at the now merrily-flickering candle, and the large circle of charred grass surrounding it.
"Well, for your first time that was certainly explosive~" came Akeno's teasing voice from behind him. "Next time watch to make sure you don't get it all over yourself in your enthusiasm, okay~?"
"Wuh…" Trevor would've normally had some sort 'witty' remark to her banter, but right now he was openly gaping at… at… "Holy shit, I'M MAGICAL!" he shouted ecstatically, pumping his fists into the air. "HELL YEAH!"
Hauling ass past Trevor, barely managing to avoid being pelted by stones which were damn near breaking the sound barrier, Joe couldn't help but congratulate his comrade-in-arms.
"Glad to hear it man!" He sarcastically declared.
"Thanks for your unwavering support, bud!" Trevor shouted back, too jazzed to care.
"I suppose it would make sense for Twice Critical to push you over the edge," Akeno mused, "Its purpose is to double the wielder's power, naturally that would apply to Demonic Power as well as willpower."
She turned to face the sooty pawn, a grin forming across her face. "Alright Trevor, now you just need to do that another forty-nine times, and we'll move on to the next exercise!'
"You got it," Trevor replied, still riding the high of using magic for the first time. He blinked, then snorted. "Surprised you let an opportunity to use 'sixty-nine' pass you by like that."
"Oh honey, I'm not that easy~"
"Sure, sure," he said, eagerly getting back into his meditative pose. "Whatever you say, Akeno."
"Oops! Almost forgot to increase the difficulty."
Trevor felt a finger poke the back of his head, and suddenly it was as though all his thoughts were crawling through molasses as they made their way through his brain. Akeno's voice was muffled, as if he were underwater.
"Come on now, forty-nine more times before we move on~"
---
"Next exercise, defensive magic!"
Akeno's cheerful voice was completely at odds with the crackling energy that seemed to course over her body, tiny flickers of lightning jumping away to fry blades of grass around her.
"I recommend you either adapt fast, or start running, sweetheart!"
Trevor gulped, seriously considering running and screaming like a baby right then and there. But he was held back the knowledge that she wouldn't kill him… right?
Frantically, he imagined dragons again. It had worked with the flames when everything else had failed, which meant there was some kind of connection there. That time, he thought of the thick scales that covered their hides. Indomitable, impregnable, harder than diamond.
Trevor thought he could almost feel something, a faint tingling in the back of his mind, perhaps, a sensation he had no real words to describe, as though he suddenly found himself with an extra sense that he had never had before.
And then the lightning hit him.
It wasn't a very powerful bolt, it stung like a bitch, and set his hairs on end, but he could already tell it wasn't particularly dangerous by the way his body didn't lock up like an iron bar and start spasming.
All the same, he hissed in pain, eyes tearing up. He clenched his hands into fists so as to brace himself, concentrating as hard as he could not to keel over right then.
"One failure, try again." Came Akeno's cheerful voice.
The focus he had felt earlier started to come back to Trevor, the world around him falling away as he put everything he had into his mental construct, on the idea of those scales forming around him, on the pain of that bolt being shrugged away.
And then the lightning hit him again.
This was probably going to take a while.
---
It was about thirty minutes later when a slightly jittery Trevor, bits of his hair still standing on end, finally managed the spell.
There was the flash of the lightning bolt, piercing its way through his now frustrated and intense focus, but the pain he'd come to associate with it never hit home.
The lightning hadn't touched him.
For a brief second, he saw something hanging in mid-air in front of him, a translucent curving pattern, like part of a dome or a sphere, see-through and made of red light, hanging there in the sky in the shape of reptilian scales.
"Aw shit," Trevor breathed, gaping at the shield before him. The shield he'd made. "Akeno, I'm doing the thing!"
"Very good, Trevor!" Said Akeno, clapping her hands together lightly as a smile made its way across her face.
"Now comes the stress-test." She said, still smiling gently as a much larger bolt of lightning appeared in the sky over her head.
"No wai-"
"Just remember, Trevor, you asked for this! And the safe word is Pineapple!" came Akeno's sing-song voice.
"Wait why do we need a saAAAAAGH!"
---
"Okay you two, focus on the muscles in between your shoulder blades. It should be mostly based on instinct, so once you get the process started, the rest should go smoothly." Rias said, clapping her hands together as her own wings flared from her back, jagged planes of black leather that honestly didn't look like they would catch anywhere near enough wind to allow flight.
"Question," Joe stated, weakly raising his horribly over-worked arm. "How is it that we don't need to be topless for this to work? And how do those distinctly un-winglike things allow for flight?"
"Th-They look m-more like c-c-claws than anything," Trevor observed, jittery as all hell. Joe could've sworn he smelled something crisping from his friend, as well.
"Good question Joe, simply put, Devils, and by extension, Angels, Fallen, and other supernatural beings, are inherently creatures of magic. Our wings are one of the most blatant representations of that. While we can appear as human with them hidden, they are distinctly impossible by nature, a sort of marker that we are not entirely beings of natural law. The wings are more less entirely constructed of our innate magic, even though they feel like they're a part of your body. Because they are." Rias shook her head slightly and sighed.
"Honestly it's confusing even for me, this sort of thing was never my field of study per se, so the exact mechanics of it escape me. After all, I doubt either of you can give me a detailed explanation of how the muscles in your arm work together."
Joe shrugged. "Well, if it works, it works."
At that, the two focused as she instructed. It wasn't long after that the black wings unfurled from their backs, Trevor staring at them with giddy delight even through his strained body.
It felt strange, like having an extra pair of limbs that didn't feel at all out of place despite never having once appeared on his body before hand.
He immediately started experimenting to see if it was possible to perform next-level crude hand gestures using them.
Sadly, the wings did not seem to have enough maneuverability to let him flip people off with four limbs at once.
"Alright you two, we'll start simply. Just some basic stretching and jumping exercises to get you used to the feeling. Just follow my movements."
They spent the next thirty or so minutes just moving about, exploring the way their new limbs could bend and move. After the hell training the two of them had just gone through, this seemed rather more like Yoga.
That didn't mean that moving those strained muscles was painless, of course, but Joe would take it over getting boulders chucked at his head any day of the week.
Several hours passed this way, and the two of them had just worked out how to get themselves a decent height into the air, not flying, but merely jumping, and using their wings to glide, when Rias called a stop.
---
"Alright you two, you can go ahead and rest now. I'm very happy with the progress you've both made today. It may not seem like all that much, but it's a good start, and we'll keep at it from here on out." Rias said, clapping her hands together with a proud smile on her face.
Koneko walked over to join them, chucking a bag of chips at the two pawns, already halfway through a box of pocky herself.
Night had fallen by this point, bathing the field in the gentle dim glow that Trevor and Joe had become accustomed to by this point. Their new Devilish eyes turning the dark of night into more of a calm blueish-purple, as easy to see in as daylight, perhaps even easier.
"... So, uh," Trevor began, somewhat tiredly. "I can shoot a fireball now. And make a small shield in front of me. So that's pretty cool."
"My everything hurts," Joe replied. "Also, I can actually dodge the damn-near super-sonic shit Koneko-Sensei-Sama was throwing at me. And track Kiba."
Koneko flashed a thumbs-up at him, deadpan face containing perhaps a faint spark of smug pride. He groaned before continuing.
"Not dodge or keep up with him, but I can actually see him when he's flash-stepping around now. It's something, considering he used to teleport the fuck around like god- Gah, fuck! - like Goku."
"Doooope," Trevor droned. He blinked. "Oh, uh, right. Bee tee dubs, this is a question for whoever may know: what's the deal with dragons in this world? Because I only made any progress with magic when I imagined dragon stuff."
Rias blinked, looking slightly taken aback, before resting a palm against her cheek and closing her eyes in thought.
"Well, it's entirely possible that dragons are just something you hold a very important place in your being for, and they're an easy focus for you, but… listen Joe, Trevor, when God-" Trevor noticed a faint twitch, and a slight grimace that worked its way across her face as she no doubt was hit with the stinging pain that came from a Devil saying that word, "-created the Sacred Gears, he caused quite the major shift in the status quo of how things had been. Not only because humans suddenly had a new way to defend themselves, but because of how he made them."
She crossed her arms under her chest, pushing her breasts up noticeably as she continued. "Not much is known about Sacred Gears, even now, thousands of years later, but one of the things that is known is that many sacred gears have a power source, something that enables the abilities they have. One of the thirteen Longinus-class sacred gears for instance, famously contains an imprisoned Nemean Lion. The power source isn't known for many Sacred Gears, but one of the things that IS known is that every Twice Critical is powered by an imprisoned dragon."
Trevor opened his mouth, then closed it. Putting aside the fact that Nemean Lions were real now, because of course they were, what she basically said was…
"... Joe and I have dragon batteries, is what I'm getting here," Trevor drolled. "Probably. Which might have the freaky dreams we've been having make a little more sense." He lazily turned to look at Joe. "Which totally means you called a dragon a bitch, by the way."
"...Well it started talking shit first!" He pouted defensively.
"Wait, dreams?" Rias asked, staring at the two, her eyes holding noticeable concern. "That...is not normal. I've never heard of a Twice Critical wielder dreaming about the dragon in their Sacred Gear before. It's possible it just isn't common knowledge, but all the same…"
"We've both had only one dream, far as I know," Trevor elaborated. "Mine involved a lot of flames and a big ol' green Eye of Sauron staring down at me. I would've thought more of it, but then I woke up to you naked in my bed. Which kinda took precedence at the time."
"Hmm. That's...worrying. I'll have to talk to my older brother and see if he's heard of something like that before. Anyways, what do you think that dragons are? I'm asking because there's a lot of stories about dragons, and I need to get an idea of what you're working off of before I tell you what they're actually like."
"Hm," Trevor hummed. "Well, I know their appearance and role changes depending on the region, but to me, they were a obsession of mine since I was a little kid. Fuckin' loved dragons, hell, I slept with a plush dragon and Godzilla back in the day." He sighed wistfully. "They can either be incredibly destructive and savage, or wise and cunning. Too many variations in-between. Still always badass, though."
Rias nodded, pleased. "That's a much better base than I thought you might have. Alright you two, here's the truth about dragons:"
Rias took a pose not unlike a stereotypical teacher, hips cocked to one side, with a hand raised in the air.
"The first, and most important thing you have to know, is that no two dragons are ever alike. They're as unique and varied as snowflakes, though they often share common traits based on the country that shaped them. Dragons from the west often have four limbs, and massive wings, Dragons from the east often have long bodies, with no wings, and power over the air."
"Dragons are not born, the way normal creatures are. They are not in any way natural beings. They don't hatch from eggs, they don't give live birth. No Dragon has ever had a mother, or a father, or children. Dragons aren't even creatures, not really, what they are, is power."
She looked the two pawns over for emphasis before continuing. "I mean that literally. Dragons, real Dragons, are concentrations of power that have built up of the centuries, belief, thoughts, hopes, fears, these things draw together and build until they eventually reach a tipping point, critical mass, and a Dragon is born. They are, quite literally, raw unfiltered power, given form, and a mind."
"Somehow that both makes me really excited and terrified at the same time," Trevor stated. "Sounds like they have the potential to be really, really good… or just flat-out evil, if they have enough concentrated negativity."
"Well that's hardly the only way for a dragon to be evil, once they've hit that point, they have as much free will as any human, but you're not wrong. Perhaps the best example of that is the two Heavenly Dragons, Albion, and Ddraig. Neither of them were evil, so to speak, but they've been at war with each other for as long as either of them has existed, and with how powerful they were, people sometimes got caught in the crossfire."
"In fact, if it wasn't for their eternal rivalry, the Great War may still be going on now."
She shook her head as she looked at the two pawns struggling to stay upright on the grass in front of her.
"Anyways, that's something we can talk about tomorrow. The two of you look like you're about to pass out on the grass, and I don't want to have to pay Koneko in snacks for her to drag you both back to the dorms."
The petite white-haired girl visibly pouted at that, a small downward tick of her otherwise stoic expression.
"Probably smart," Trevor agreed, pushing himself up and off the ground with a loud groan. "We'll save the history lesson for later. Oh, yeah, Koneko," he looked over at her, "When can you and I do a private lesson on martial arts? Because I at least have something to work on there and I can't rely on magic for a while yet."
After her answer, the members of the Occult Club walked back to the club building, the two of them dragging themselves along far more noticeably than the others.
Though neither Joe nor Trevor were quite prepared for Asia's incredibly nervous mothering once she saw the bruised state of them.
==============
Baka & Lucky Reaction Theatre!
Baka: Oh man, if there's a dragon in our sacred gear, did I just call our power source a bitch?
Lucky: Well he did call you a bitch first, so...
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Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Shit...maybe one of them can give kiba the idea for UBW?
- Location
- Finland
Well, this has been an absolute treat to read through.
Also, just going to say this, I imagine that Akeno was in a teacher's outfit during her little lesson, because that seems quite in-character.
Also, just going to say this, I imagine that Akeno was in a teacher's outfit during her little lesson, because that seems quite in-character.
- Location
- West Michigan
@TheLurker Don't forget to post chapter 8 in this thread too, not just at SB.
Chapter 9: Finding a Reason
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
===
Chapter 9: Finding a Reason
===
"Waha!" Trevor cried as he flopped face first on the ground. His wings twitched in the air, seemingly frozen as he groaned in pain and pushed himself up. "So, uh… maybe I shouldn't try multi-tasking quite yet."
"Learning how to cast magic while flying is meant to be a rather intermediate skill." Akeno said, standing several feet to one side. "Learning the method while hovering is difficult enough, keeping track of the magic while actively maneuvering through the air is something even I haven't mastered yet."
"Guess I shouldn't expect leaps in progress on that front, then," Trevor sighed, dusting himself off and standing up. Around him, the shikigami darted to and fro, flying about and waiting for him to try capturing it again. "Thought I'd try combining flying with telekinesis, but that didn't pan out. Got too ambitious."
"Best to focus on one thing at a time for now, I'd say." Akeno replied, somewhat more serious than she normally behaved. "Trying to do everything at once will just leave you exhausted and limp~"
Trevor snorted. "Can't have that, now can we? But yeah, I hear you. He who chases two hares never gets both, or however you say it." He rolled his shoulders and then raised a hand toward the shikigami fluttering just beyond reach. "Guess I'll just focus on being a Jedi for now."
"OW! Dammit!"
Trevor winced slightly as the sound of a wooden sword clattering off of bone rang out behind him. "Thankfully my 'opponent' isn't hitting me back," he noted.
"You haven't said please yet~" sing-songed Akeno.
"Son of a fuck!" Joe cried out in pain, taking another wooden sword to the face and reeling back stunned. He was starting to get tired of sucking.
The problem was, despite the fact that he could keep track of Kiba's movements now, it didn't help all that much when he couldn't physically move fast enough to block them. The end result was basically that Kiba could get past his guard whenever he damn well felt like it, and Joe was only managing to block one in every few attacks.
"You may not be able to bring the full of your gauntlet to deflect in time, but from what I've seen it is incredibly durable, the ridges along the side alone should be enough to deflect some of the force. Keep your arm closer to the center of your body." The blonde swordsman said, his usual smile replaced with a look of concentration as his arms blurred through the air.
It would have been genuinely infuriating if it wasn't for the fact that Kiba's advice was actually proving to be pretty useful.
Surely it'd do him all sorts of good the next time they encountered the gay priest. Sarcasm, ho!
"Alright, I've gotten a decent look at your basic form. Now comes the second part."
Kiba leaped backwards away from Joe, rapidly putting distance between them, before slamming his hand into the ground.
"Sword Birth!"
At his shout, wooden blades sprang from the ground around Kiba like grass, piercing their way through the earth in a ring around the Knight in a way that threw a cloud of dust into the air and forced Joe to cover his eyes with one arm.
"Alright, this is enemy ground now Joe! Promote yourself, and come at me!" The infuriating bishonen yelled from where he stood in the middle of a hedge of wooden blades.
"Just call out the words, Promote, followed by any piece other than the King. I want to see how you handle at a higher level!"
Joe blinked. He'd completely forgotten he and Trevor were capable of that.
Then he shrugged, raising his blade again. "Promote Knight!" He declared, like a total fucking anime protagonist.
He mostly managed to prevent himself from openly cringing.
There was something akin to a red flare of light in his chest, it felt like electricity lanced through his veins, and he experienced what felt like the mother of all adrenaline rushes. Time seemed to dilate.
Joe took a moment to process what had just occurred.
And then Kiba was running at him, his blade swinging in an overhead chop. For the first time since he had begun practicing however, the Knight didn't seem to be moving impossibly fast. It suddenly felt less like he was battling an angry lawnmower, and more akin to an actual spar with a peer.
Stepping aside and reaching up, Joe moved to deflect the blow with his gauntlet and aimed to draw the length of his own blade across Kiba's stomach.
The Blonde Knight dodged, of course, rolling to one side like a ballet dancer, but for the first time since Joe had come to know him, he didn't move fast enough. There was a faint grunt, and the end of Joe's blade clipped Kiba's ribs as the swordsman spun past him.
He'd actually landed a hit on Kiba. That had never happened before.
"Holy shit!" Joe shouted in surprise.
And in that brief moment of distraction, a punishing strike landed itself directly into Joe's knee, and the battle was on.
From where he stood, Trevor's jaw dropped. He witnessed his friend become a blur, almost indiscernible from Kiba were it not for their different hair colors. He'd almost forgotten about the promotion aspect of pawns as well, and had been too busy practicing with magic to give it much thought. Now though…
"I am so going to try that as soon as possible," Trevor breathed.
"Mm. Promotion is an extremely valuable asset for any peerage. The promoted pawns will never be quite to the level of a dedicated piece of course, due to having not nearly as much experience with the limits and sensation of the powers, but it wouldn't be an understatement to say that a pawn promoting at the right time can change the entire course of a fight. In many rating games, the Peerage that manages to push its way into the enemy's territory holds a drastic advantage over their opponent." Akeno mused, eyeing the chaotic mass of movement that had become Kiba and Joe's fight.
"Not hard to imagine why," Trevor said, still staring in awe at the display of power. "But now that I think about it… The Queen gets the benefits of all the Pieces, right? So why wouldn't a Pawn just promote themselves to a Queen over the others every time?"
"Because suddenly being able to move at the speed of sound, with the force of a train, and a largely increased magic pool is rather difficult to get the hang of. Trying to adjust to all the changes at once can cost a pawn precious seconds in the middle of a fight. Though you'd be correct in guessing that at the higher levels, the vast majority of Pawns will always choose to promote to a queen." Akeno responded, holding up a delicate hand that suddenly began to crackle with electricity, before her arm blurred into motion. There was a loud crack, and a divot appeared in the ground several feet away, throwing up a large spray of dirt.
Trevor just stared at the incredible show of force. "... Is it bad that I thought that was kinda hot?" he wondered.
"Oh now you're just flirting you little minx~" Purred Akeno in that same sing-song tone, visibly preening where she stood.
Joe danced with Kiba for a time after that, though he didn't manage to get many blows in himself, he did manage to do far better than usual. By the end of things, he was tired, sore, and covered in bruises, but he felt more accomplished in that one moment then he had in days.
Now if only Kiba would have the courtesy to look like just as much of a sweaty mess as he was, instead of looking like he just walked off a fucking movie set.
---
Not much later, Trevor was wiping a chandelier in the occult club building and hovering in mid-air when a thought occurred. "Yo, Joe," he called out to his fellow pawn down on the ground. "You said you wanted to focus on defense, right?"
When the other members of the Occult Club had gone about their day-to-day business, Joe and Trevor had decided to make good on their idea of actually cleaning the place up. They had dragged cleaning supplies out of a closet somewhere in the building, and Joe was currently mopping the floor while Trevor dusted.
"Given that I'm not particularly fond of the idea of dying, again, yes," he replied.
"Right, right," Trevor said distractedly, almost as if he hadn't heard the 'dying' bit. "Well, I was thinking, we're gonna have to fight people that throw magic around, and if you're going to be on the frontlines, it might help to figure out how to take those kinds of shots. Akeno-"
"Fuck no." Joe immediately cut him off.
Trevor blinked, giving Joe a confused look. "What, why? She's not that bad, dude."
"No," the canuck firmly replied, gripping the handle of the mop just a touch tighter, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
Making note of that, Trevor let out a breath and flew down to the floor. Come to think of it, Joe had barely even spoke to Akeno since… well, everything started.
"Alright, man, what's up?" he asked his friend.
"Nothing," Joe replied a little too quickly as he suddenly redoubled his efforts on the floor.
Trevor frowned. "If nothing was wrong, you wouldn't have snapped at the mention of Akeno," he pointed out. "Did she do something to you?" he asked seriously.
"No," came Joe's terse assertion as his eyes were firmly focused on a dirty spot on the floor which seemed more persistent than the rest.
"Then what's wrong with her?" Trevor pressed.
Joe stopped, still staring at the floor, and not reacting for a few moments before speaking up quietly.
"...She reminds me of Yuma."
Trevor flinched, his right hand twitching minutely. "... Ah," he said quietly. "Gotcha. But… c'mon man, you can't hold her appearance against her. Yeah, I don't actually care for the weird sadistic shit, I mostly just play along, and I'm not asking you to put up with it. I just think she'd have good pointers on how to take hits from magic is all."
Joe grumbled. "I'll manage without being reminded of the sadistic psycho that took immense pleasure in our painful deaths, thanks."
The bearded pawn looked Joe over. "Is that why you've been distant lately? Not just with Akeno, but with the others?"
Joe stopped again, gripping his mop tighter than was necessary, and tiredly sighing.
"Signs point to me not lasting long in this business. Better to not get others attached when I'm clearly not going to be around very long."
"Oh no, don't go spouting shit like that," Trevor retorted, features hardening at the words. "I hate to break it to you, but you already got someone attached to you." He jabbed a thumb in his own chest for emphasis. "And like hell am I letting you just sit there and tell me you're resigned to death."
"I'm sure you didn't just let me nearly die three times since this shit started either. Turns out that's been kind of out of our control so far, hasn't it?" Joe bitterly intoned in reply.
"Why do you think I'm burying myself in learning magic?" Trevor replied. "Or flying while cleaning? Yeah, sure, it's cool, but it's also our best bet at surviving around here. All this training, getting our shit kicked in, it's all so we have control again. Like, Chri-OW!"
Trevor clutched his head, angrily grumbling before continuing.
"You wanna know why I really egg Akeno on? Because she's the closest one out of these people who will give me a real taste of how rough it's going to be without actually trying to kill me, and the more I poke her, the more prepared I'll be for the real deal," Trevor asserted. "I joke a lot, but I'm not exactly fucking around, and neither should you."
"At this point I'm just trying to make myself as useful as possible before…" Joe notably trailed off at the end there.
"Before we live through this and die peacefully shitting ourselves in a retirement home," Trevor finished for him, folding his arms. "And that's that."
"...Yeah, whatever man," Joe wearily sighed as he continued working at the floor, far less lively than before, though.
Trevor watched him work, kneading his hands and struggling to find something, anything to say. Eventually, he let out a long, shaky sigh.
"Wanna know the only reason I'm neither pissing myself with existential terror nor a little ball of self-destructive rage right now?" Trevor asked, fighting to keep his voice level.
Joe stopped, and turned to look at his bearded companion with tired eyes, but otherwise said nothing.
"You." Trevor stared at him. "You. You are the only connection I have to my old life, the only person I knew before this shit started. Joe, you and I both know we haven't exactly known each other for very long, but right now we're all we got. The occult club… they're nice, but we just met them, what eight, nine days ago? They're not really our friends, not yet."
Trevor took a moment to breathe.
"Look, man, I'm not sure how else I can say this, but you're keeping me sane through all this shit," Trevor told Joe. "I'm not telling you to just… get over it, but just take a step back and appreciate that we've been given a chance to live despite our mistakes."
Joe was silent for a time after that, sighing quite heavily himself, and shaking his head.
"I don't want to die, dude, but… It's been like nine days, and we've both actually died once already, and I've nearly died twice since then. Painfully and bloodily," his shoulders sagged. "Just calling it how I see it, man…"
It took a few seconds for Trevor to figure how to respond to that. It was becoming clear to him that there wouldn't be any real breakthroughs in this conversation… but at least things could hopefully be moved along.
"And yet we're still here," Trevor replied, setting a hand on Joe's shoulder and squeezing once before letting go. "I'll quit bothering you now, still gotta clean a ton." The wings unfurled from his back. "Just… at least consider talking to Akeno. Even if she doesn't have much to say, it might help you see her as, well, her, and not Yuma."
"...I'll try," was Joe's terse reply.
Trevor smiled at that. "Good, good. I'mma go dust some Victorian shit now." At that, he fluttered off.
Joe stood in place, quietly for a time after that. He'd been trying to keep all his shit bottled up, no need to pile more crap on everyone else's plates, right? Too bad it was rapidly becoming harder and harder to do that.
Turns out that literally dying once, then very nearly dying twice after that tended to have a negative impact on one's mind. Who've thunk it?
He was fully prepared to accept it when death came for him again, given that one could cheat the reaper only so many times… but if Trevor really was relying on him so heavily to make it through the day…
Joe sighed, and regretted that he was so bad at reading people.
Glancing over his shoulder at the once again airborne American, he quietly wondered to himself if that's how he was staying so damned grounded and upbeat despite everything…
He wasn't entirely sure what to think of that.
---
The small library was practically a dust-covered relic. Dust inches thick covered the book shelves, and the places that the two pawns had been the other day stood out like footprints in snow. Joe felt yet another part of his soul die as he looked over the room that he and Trevor had decided to clean next.
The two of them shared a brief glance before spreading out into the room, attacking the dust with a despairing passion. Trevor produced a pair of masks from his pocket, silently thanking Japan's obsession with public cleanliness.
They had been cleaning the room for several minutes, when Joe happened across the book that Trevor had been reading aloud just the other day, and, for the first time, read the title.
On the Nature of Sacred Gears; By F. Allen Angyal.
Looking at the title, Joe blinked. Then he reread it. Then he blinked again. Then he facepalmed hard enough to produce an audible 'thwap.'
"God- GAH FUCKING- DAMN it, Trevor!"
"What'd I do this time?" Trevor asked blandly, not looking at Joe.
"F. Allen Angyal!? It's fucking Fallen Angel!" Joe declared in annoyance as he shoved the book at Trevor, noting that from there on out he'd make a note of looking over book covers himself.
Trevor peered at at the book, eyes narrowed before letting out a "Huh," and leaning back. "Fancy that."
"Consider the implications of that ya yankee-doodle-sonuva bitch!" Joe declared in an exaggerated mock southern accent. Which was atrocious.
"What, that a Fallen Angel with no imagination wrote that?" Trevor hazarded. "I doubt Rias would put it in her library if it was all lies or misinformation."
"You seem to be forgetting that we're in an anime, and in anime, characters miss really obvious spot checks all the time!" Joe pointed to the printed pseudonym on the book. "Case-in-fucking-point! This could be all fabrications! Teddy might not be knocking heads together in hell after all!"
Trevor quirked an eyebrow, feeling like Joe was acting a bit too… goofy, considering how somber he'd been only recently. Maybe he was just trying to move things along back to business as usual?
Well, whatever, if that was the pace Joe wanted.
"Then we ask Rias to confirm what we read, boyo," Trevor replied with a shrug. "Easy-peezy lemon-squeezey."
"...Alright, if you think that'll work." Joe shrugged, returned the book to its place on the shelf, then returned to his duties.
---
The two of them had been cleaning for several hours when they discovered something strange.
One of the hallways in the medium sized building the Occult Club was contained in ended suddenly and abruptly, in front of a large double-door. The door itself didn't look particularly out of place for the rest of the building, except for one thing.
The entire door was covered in criss-crossing rolls of yellow Police Tape. Warnings in Japanese written out across them prohibiting entry.
"That looks fun," Trevor noted, setting a hand on his hip.
"Curious that we were never warned away from any such doors by anyone," Joe said, looking over the door warily.
"I feel like we shouldn't see that as an invitation to go in there," Trevor replied. "Unless you really wanna go in there and see what happens. I'd prefer you didn't."
"I'm not going to," Joe drolled.
"Good lad," Trevor said. "Then let's just ask about it later."
---
By the time the rest of the Occult Club returned from the school, the majority of the building had been thoroughly cleaned. Joe and Trevor lay on the couches of the sitting room, their supernatural endurance slightly taxed from the prodigious amount of dusting and mopping that had needed to be done.
Koneko walked in the door and immediately sneezed, an adorably quiet noise that left her rubbing at her nose with one finger.
"Dust in the air. You two cleaning?" She asked, her stoic face scrunched slightly as she fought off another sneeze.
"You're darn tootin' we are," Trevor replied tiredly. "Or did. Pretty much did the whole place today."
Koneko nodded slightly, walking off and disappearing into the kitchen, the sound of a refrigerator opening betraying exactly what she was getting into.
The other members of the Occult Club filed in, Asia wandering off towards her room with a puzzled look on her face as Rias stepped in and looked around.
"Hunh. You two really did clean the entire building, didn't you? You know we only use about a third of it, right?"
"When you only have three options on how to spend your time, you kinda have to shake things up a little," Trevor sighed, sitting up with a groan. "Besides, see it as our way of thanking you guys for all you've done for us. Cleaning the place up is the least we can do."
"Well, we didn't go into the room with the police tape blocking it off, but otherwise, yes, we cleaned the building," Joe interjected.
Rias blinked, appearing confused for a moment before a blush lit up her face. "Aaaah, I completely forgot to tell you about that too, didn't I?" she mumbled, wilting slightly as she sat down into one of the chairs decorating the room.
Trevor shrugged. "It happens. Not like we went in or anything. What is it?"
"You wouldn't have been able to get in anyways, the door has a seal on it to keep it shut. As for what it is...well, you might have noticed that one of my Bishop pieces was missing, right? That door leads to the bedroom of my Bishop." She said, somewhat embarrassed.
Trevor quirked an eyebrow, doing his best to keep his reaction muted, as out of the corner of his eye he saw Joe tense suddenly on the couch.
"We're, uh… gonna need some elaboration on that, Rias," he said. "Like, who your Bishop is and why their room is taped off?"
"My Bishop is named Gasper. Their room is blocked off because they won't come out of it." Rias explained, exasperation filling her voice.
Joe quite visibly untensed.
"You see, Gasper has a Sacred Gear as well, but it's...problematic. They have trouble controlling it, and that combined with their problems dealing with other people, and their problems with sunlight has lead to them basically barricading themselves in their room. And they won't come out." Rias sighed heavily as she leaned back into her chair.
"We're basically waiting for their control to improve as they grow up at this point. Then we might be able to coax Gasper to finally leave the room."
"...So is Gasper a man, or a woman?" Joe asked.
"That...is complicated. Kinda." Rias replied. "Technically, Gasper is a man. But...well you'll understand when you meet him."
Joe slowly turned to give Trevor a very blank look.
Trevor let out an exasperated sigh. He definitely had something to say on the matter, but the joke would be purely for Joe's sake and Rias might find it in poor taste, so he kept it to himself. "Well, what they call themselves doesn't matter all that much, we were just wondering. Does Gasper take any visitors at all, or is it just best if we leave them alone?"
Rias's eyes seemed to contain a hidden sadness in them as she replied, talking slowly as though she was working through her words herself.
"Gasper has...issues, when it comes to dealing with other people. If you're going to meet him, it's probably best if Akeno and I at least are there. It's really not my place to talk about, but...Gasper didn't really come from what you would call a 'happy home' before my Brother took him in." Rias trailed off sadly, her eyes seeing someplace very far away.
"Evidently, you have a habit of bringing in those types," Joe idly intoned.
"Hehehe, you kind of have a point there I guess." Rias weakly chuckled, running a hand through her crimson hair. "Still, they're all my precious Peerage. It doesn't matter what's in their past, I'll fight tooth and nail to keep them all safe now."
===
Lucky and Baka Reaction Theatre
===
Baka: "I like how we opened this chapter with you talking about how you liked have a fun, silly, fic to work on."
Lucky: "And here I thought I could avoid the heavy shit for once."
*Lucky's WIFI shits itself and he takes a few minutes to get back.
Lucky: "Hello? Can you hear me now?"
Baka: "So what's it like up there?"
Lucky: "I'm going to need you to elaborate, even though I know I won't like the answer."
Baka: "You know, up there in heaven? Since you just died? I hear there's a shortage of chairs."
Lucky: "Well there's seventy-two virgins, but they're not the kind you'd want. They just want to play Runescape and WoW all day."
*Rias starts talking about Gasper*
Lucky: "It's a [REDACTED DUE TO SV'S RULES, YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THIS WORD WAS]"
Chapter 9: Finding a Reason
===
"Waha!" Trevor cried as he flopped face first on the ground. His wings twitched in the air, seemingly frozen as he groaned in pain and pushed himself up. "So, uh… maybe I shouldn't try multi-tasking quite yet."
"Learning how to cast magic while flying is meant to be a rather intermediate skill." Akeno said, standing several feet to one side. "Learning the method while hovering is difficult enough, keeping track of the magic while actively maneuvering through the air is something even I haven't mastered yet."
"Guess I shouldn't expect leaps in progress on that front, then," Trevor sighed, dusting himself off and standing up. Around him, the shikigami darted to and fro, flying about and waiting for him to try capturing it again. "Thought I'd try combining flying with telekinesis, but that didn't pan out. Got too ambitious."
"Best to focus on one thing at a time for now, I'd say." Akeno replied, somewhat more serious than she normally behaved. "Trying to do everything at once will just leave you exhausted and limp~"
Trevor snorted. "Can't have that, now can we? But yeah, I hear you. He who chases two hares never gets both, or however you say it." He rolled his shoulders and then raised a hand toward the shikigami fluttering just beyond reach. "Guess I'll just focus on being a Jedi for now."
"OW! Dammit!"
Trevor winced slightly as the sound of a wooden sword clattering off of bone rang out behind him. "Thankfully my 'opponent' isn't hitting me back," he noted.
"You haven't said please yet~" sing-songed Akeno.
"Son of a fuck!" Joe cried out in pain, taking another wooden sword to the face and reeling back stunned. He was starting to get tired of sucking.
The problem was, despite the fact that he could keep track of Kiba's movements now, it didn't help all that much when he couldn't physically move fast enough to block them. The end result was basically that Kiba could get past his guard whenever he damn well felt like it, and Joe was only managing to block one in every few attacks.
"You may not be able to bring the full of your gauntlet to deflect in time, but from what I've seen it is incredibly durable, the ridges along the side alone should be enough to deflect some of the force. Keep your arm closer to the center of your body." The blonde swordsman said, his usual smile replaced with a look of concentration as his arms blurred through the air.
It would have been genuinely infuriating if it wasn't for the fact that Kiba's advice was actually proving to be pretty useful.
Surely it'd do him all sorts of good the next time they encountered the gay priest. Sarcasm, ho!
"Alright, I've gotten a decent look at your basic form. Now comes the second part."
Kiba leaped backwards away from Joe, rapidly putting distance between them, before slamming his hand into the ground.
"Sword Birth!"
At his shout, wooden blades sprang from the ground around Kiba like grass, piercing their way through the earth in a ring around the Knight in a way that threw a cloud of dust into the air and forced Joe to cover his eyes with one arm.
"Alright, this is enemy ground now Joe! Promote yourself, and come at me!" The infuriating bishonen yelled from where he stood in the middle of a hedge of wooden blades.
"Just call out the words, Promote, followed by any piece other than the King. I want to see how you handle at a higher level!"
Joe blinked. He'd completely forgotten he and Trevor were capable of that.
Then he shrugged, raising his blade again. "Promote Knight!" He declared, like a total fucking anime protagonist.
He mostly managed to prevent himself from openly cringing.
There was something akin to a red flare of light in his chest, it felt like electricity lanced through his veins, and he experienced what felt like the mother of all adrenaline rushes. Time seemed to dilate.
Joe took a moment to process what had just occurred.
And then Kiba was running at him, his blade swinging in an overhead chop. For the first time since he had begun practicing however, the Knight didn't seem to be moving impossibly fast. It suddenly felt less like he was battling an angry lawnmower, and more akin to an actual spar with a peer.
Stepping aside and reaching up, Joe moved to deflect the blow with his gauntlet and aimed to draw the length of his own blade across Kiba's stomach.
The Blonde Knight dodged, of course, rolling to one side like a ballet dancer, but for the first time since Joe had come to know him, he didn't move fast enough. There was a faint grunt, and the end of Joe's blade clipped Kiba's ribs as the swordsman spun past him.
He'd actually landed a hit on Kiba. That had never happened before.
"Holy shit!" Joe shouted in surprise.
And in that brief moment of distraction, a punishing strike landed itself directly into Joe's knee, and the battle was on.
From where he stood, Trevor's jaw dropped. He witnessed his friend become a blur, almost indiscernible from Kiba were it not for their different hair colors. He'd almost forgotten about the promotion aspect of pawns as well, and had been too busy practicing with magic to give it much thought. Now though…
"I am so going to try that as soon as possible," Trevor breathed.
"Mm. Promotion is an extremely valuable asset for any peerage. The promoted pawns will never be quite to the level of a dedicated piece of course, due to having not nearly as much experience with the limits and sensation of the powers, but it wouldn't be an understatement to say that a pawn promoting at the right time can change the entire course of a fight. In many rating games, the Peerage that manages to push its way into the enemy's territory holds a drastic advantage over their opponent." Akeno mused, eyeing the chaotic mass of movement that had become Kiba and Joe's fight.
"Not hard to imagine why," Trevor said, still staring in awe at the display of power. "But now that I think about it… The Queen gets the benefits of all the Pieces, right? So why wouldn't a Pawn just promote themselves to a Queen over the others every time?"
"Because suddenly being able to move at the speed of sound, with the force of a train, and a largely increased magic pool is rather difficult to get the hang of. Trying to adjust to all the changes at once can cost a pawn precious seconds in the middle of a fight. Though you'd be correct in guessing that at the higher levels, the vast majority of Pawns will always choose to promote to a queen." Akeno responded, holding up a delicate hand that suddenly began to crackle with electricity, before her arm blurred into motion. There was a loud crack, and a divot appeared in the ground several feet away, throwing up a large spray of dirt.
Trevor just stared at the incredible show of force. "... Is it bad that I thought that was kinda hot?" he wondered.
"Oh now you're just flirting you little minx~" Purred Akeno in that same sing-song tone, visibly preening where she stood.
Joe danced with Kiba for a time after that, though he didn't manage to get many blows in himself, he did manage to do far better than usual. By the end of things, he was tired, sore, and covered in bruises, but he felt more accomplished in that one moment then he had in days.
Now if only Kiba would have the courtesy to look like just as much of a sweaty mess as he was, instead of looking like he just walked off a fucking movie set.
---
Not much later, Trevor was wiping a chandelier in the occult club building and hovering in mid-air when a thought occurred. "Yo, Joe," he called out to his fellow pawn down on the ground. "You said you wanted to focus on defense, right?"
When the other members of the Occult Club had gone about their day-to-day business, Joe and Trevor had decided to make good on their idea of actually cleaning the place up. They had dragged cleaning supplies out of a closet somewhere in the building, and Joe was currently mopping the floor while Trevor dusted.
"Given that I'm not particularly fond of the idea of dying, again, yes," he replied.
"Right, right," Trevor said distractedly, almost as if he hadn't heard the 'dying' bit. "Well, I was thinking, we're gonna have to fight people that throw magic around, and if you're going to be on the frontlines, it might help to figure out how to take those kinds of shots. Akeno-"
"Fuck no." Joe immediately cut him off.
Trevor blinked, giving Joe a confused look. "What, why? She's not that bad, dude."
"No," the canuck firmly replied, gripping the handle of the mop just a touch tighter, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
Making note of that, Trevor let out a breath and flew down to the floor. Come to think of it, Joe had barely even spoke to Akeno since… well, everything started.
"Alright, man, what's up?" he asked his friend.
"Nothing," Joe replied a little too quickly as he suddenly redoubled his efforts on the floor.
Trevor frowned. "If nothing was wrong, you wouldn't have snapped at the mention of Akeno," he pointed out. "Did she do something to you?" he asked seriously.
"No," came Joe's terse assertion as his eyes were firmly focused on a dirty spot on the floor which seemed more persistent than the rest.
"Then what's wrong with her?" Trevor pressed.
Joe stopped, still staring at the floor, and not reacting for a few moments before speaking up quietly.
"...She reminds me of Yuma."
Trevor flinched, his right hand twitching minutely. "... Ah," he said quietly. "Gotcha. But… c'mon man, you can't hold her appearance against her. Yeah, I don't actually care for the weird sadistic shit, I mostly just play along, and I'm not asking you to put up with it. I just think she'd have good pointers on how to take hits from magic is all."
Joe grumbled. "I'll manage without being reminded of the sadistic psycho that took immense pleasure in our painful deaths, thanks."
The bearded pawn looked Joe over. "Is that why you've been distant lately? Not just with Akeno, but with the others?"
Joe stopped again, gripping his mop tighter than was necessary, and tiredly sighing.
"Signs point to me not lasting long in this business. Better to not get others attached when I'm clearly not going to be around very long."
"Oh no, don't go spouting shit like that," Trevor retorted, features hardening at the words. "I hate to break it to you, but you already got someone attached to you." He jabbed a thumb in his own chest for emphasis. "And like hell am I letting you just sit there and tell me you're resigned to death."
"I'm sure you didn't just let me nearly die three times since this shit started either. Turns out that's been kind of out of our control so far, hasn't it?" Joe bitterly intoned in reply.
"Why do you think I'm burying myself in learning magic?" Trevor replied. "Or flying while cleaning? Yeah, sure, it's cool, but it's also our best bet at surviving around here. All this training, getting our shit kicked in, it's all so we have control again. Like, Chri-OW!"
Trevor clutched his head, angrily grumbling before continuing.
"You wanna know why I really egg Akeno on? Because she's the closest one out of these people who will give me a real taste of how rough it's going to be without actually trying to kill me, and the more I poke her, the more prepared I'll be for the real deal," Trevor asserted. "I joke a lot, but I'm not exactly fucking around, and neither should you."
"At this point I'm just trying to make myself as useful as possible before…" Joe notably trailed off at the end there.
"Before we live through this and die peacefully shitting ourselves in a retirement home," Trevor finished for him, folding his arms. "And that's that."
"...Yeah, whatever man," Joe wearily sighed as he continued working at the floor, far less lively than before, though.
Trevor watched him work, kneading his hands and struggling to find something, anything to say. Eventually, he let out a long, shaky sigh.
"Wanna know the only reason I'm neither pissing myself with existential terror nor a little ball of self-destructive rage right now?" Trevor asked, fighting to keep his voice level.
Joe stopped, and turned to look at his bearded companion with tired eyes, but otherwise said nothing.
"You." Trevor stared at him. "You. You are the only connection I have to my old life, the only person I knew before this shit started. Joe, you and I both know we haven't exactly known each other for very long, but right now we're all we got. The occult club… they're nice, but we just met them, what eight, nine days ago? They're not really our friends, not yet."
Trevor took a moment to breathe.
"Look, man, I'm not sure how else I can say this, but you're keeping me sane through all this shit," Trevor told Joe. "I'm not telling you to just… get over it, but just take a step back and appreciate that we've been given a chance to live despite our mistakes."
Joe was silent for a time after that, sighing quite heavily himself, and shaking his head.
"I don't want to die, dude, but… It's been like nine days, and we've both actually died once already, and I've nearly died twice since then. Painfully and bloodily," his shoulders sagged. "Just calling it how I see it, man…"
It took a few seconds for Trevor to figure how to respond to that. It was becoming clear to him that there wouldn't be any real breakthroughs in this conversation… but at least things could hopefully be moved along.
"And yet we're still here," Trevor replied, setting a hand on Joe's shoulder and squeezing once before letting go. "I'll quit bothering you now, still gotta clean a ton." The wings unfurled from his back. "Just… at least consider talking to Akeno. Even if she doesn't have much to say, it might help you see her as, well, her, and not Yuma."
"...I'll try," was Joe's terse reply.
Trevor smiled at that. "Good, good. I'mma go dust some Victorian shit now." At that, he fluttered off.
Joe stood in place, quietly for a time after that. He'd been trying to keep all his shit bottled up, no need to pile more crap on everyone else's plates, right? Too bad it was rapidly becoming harder and harder to do that.
Turns out that literally dying once, then very nearly dying twice after that tended to have a negative impact on one's mind. Who've thunk it?
He was fully prepared to accept it when death came for him again, given that one could cheat the reaper only so many times… but if Trevor really was relying on him so heavily to make it through the day…
Joe sighed, and regretted that he was so bad at reading people.
Glancing over his shoulder at the once again airborne American, he quietly wondered to himself if that's how he was staying so damned grounded and upbeat despite everything…
He wasn't entirely sure what to think of that.
---
The small library was practically a dust-covered relic. Dust inches thick covered the book shelves, and the places that the two pawns had been the other day stood out like footprints in snow. Joe felt yet another part of his soul die as he looked over the room that he and Trevor had decided to clean next.
The two of them shared a brief glance before spreading out into the room, attacking the dust with a despairing passion. Trevor produced a pair of masks from his pocket, silently thanking Japan's obsession with public cleanliness.
They had been cleaning the room for several minutes, when Joe happened across the book that Trevor had been reading aloud just the other day, and, for the first time, read the title.
On the Nature of Sacred Gears; By F. Allen Angyal.
Looking at the title, Joe blinked. Then he reread it. Then he blinked again. Then he facepalmed hard enough to produce an audible 'thwap.'
"God- GAH FUCKING- DAMN it, Trevor!"
"What'd I do this time?" Trevor asked blandly, not looking at Joe.
"F. Allen Angyal!? It's fucking Fallen Angel!" Joe declared in annoyance as he shoved the book at Trevor, noting that from there on out he'd make a note of looking over book covers himself.
Trevor peered at at the book, eyes narrowed before letting out a "Huh," and leaning back. "Fancy that."
"Consider the implications of that ya yankee-doodle-sonuva bitch!" Joe declared in an exaggerated mock southern accent. Which was atrocious.
"What, that a Fallen Angel with no imagination wrote that?" Trevor hazarded. "I doubt Rias would put it in her library if it was all lies or misinformation."
"You seem to be forgetting that we're in an anime, and in anime, characters miss really obvious spot checks all the time!" Joe pointed to the printed pseudonym on the book. "Case-in-fucking-point! This could be all fabrications! Teddy might not be knocking heads together in hell after all!"
Trevor quirked an eyebrow, feeling like Joe was acting a bit too… goofy, considering how somber he'd been only recently. Maybe he was just trying to move things along back to business as usual?
Well, whatever, if that was the pace Joe wanted.
"Then we ask Rias to confirm what we read, boyo," Trevor replied with a shrug. "Easy-peezy lemon-squeezey."
"...Alright, if you think that'll work." Joe shrugged, returned the book to its place on the shelf, then returned to his duties.
---
The two of them had been cleaning for several hours when they discovered something strange.
One of the hallways in the medium sized building the Occult Club was contained in ended suddenly and abruptly, in front of a large double-door. The door itself didn't look particularly out of place for the rest of the building, except for one thing.
The entire door was covered in criss-crossing rolls of yellow Police Tape. Warnings in Japanese written out across them prohibiting entry.
"That looks fun," Trevor noted, setting a hand on his hip.
"Curious that we were never warned away from any such doors by anyone," Joe said, looking over the door warily.
"I feel like we shouldn't see that as an invitation to go in there," Trevor replied. "Unless you really wanna go in there and see what happens. I'd prefer you didn't."
"I'm not going to," Joe drolled.
"Good lad," Trevor said. "Then let's just ask about it later."
---
By the time the rest of the Occult Club returned from the school, the majority of the building had been thoroughly cleaned. Joe and Trevor lay on the couches of the sitting room, their supernatural endurance slightly taxed from the prodigious amount of dusting and mopping that had needed to be done.
Koneko walked in the door and immediately sneezed, an adorably quiet noise that left her rubbing at her nose with one finger.
"Dust in the air. You two cleaning?" She asked, her stoic face scrunched slightly as she fought off another sneeze.
"You're darn tootin' we are," Trevor replied tiredly. "Or did. Pretty much did the whole place today."
Koneko nodded slightly, walking off and disappearing into the kitchen, the sound of a refrigerator opening betraying exactly what she was getting into.
The other members of the Occult Club filed in, Asia wandering off towards her room with a puzzled look on her face as Rias stepped in and looked around.
"Hunh. You two really did clean the entire building, didn't you? You know we only use about a third of it, right?"
"When you only have three options on how to spend your time, you kinda have to shake things up a little," Trevor sighed, sitting up with a groan. "Besides, see it as our way of thanking you guys for all you've done for us. Cleaning the place up is the least we can do."
"Well, we didn't go into the room with the police tape blocking it off, but otherwise, yes, we cleaned the building," Joe interjected.
Rias blinked, appearing confused for a moment before a blush lit up her face. "Aaaah, I completely forgot to tell you about that too, didn't I?" she mumbled, wilting slightly as she sat down into one of the chairs decorating the room.
Trevor shrugged. "It happens. Not like we went in or anything. What is it?"
"You wouldn't have been able to get in anyways, the door has a seal on it to keep it shut. As for what it is...well, you might have noticed that one of my Bishop pieces was missing, right? That door leads to the bedroom of my Bishop." She said, somewhat embarrassed.
Trevor quirked an eyebrow, doing his best to keep his reaction muted, as out of the corner of his eye he saw Joe tense suddenly on the couch.
"We're, uh… gonna need some elaboration on that, Rias," he said. "Like, who your Bishop is and why their room is taped off?"
"My Bishop is named Gasper. Their room is blocked off because they won't come out of it." Rias explained, exasperation filling her voice.
Joe quite visibly untensed.
"You see, Gasper has a Sacred Gear as well, but it's...problematic. They have trouble controlling it, and that combined with their problems dealing with other people, and their problems with sunlight has lead to them basically barricading themselves in their room. And they won't come out." Rias sighed heavily as she leaned back into her chair.
"We're basically waiting for their control to improve as they grow up at this point. Then we might be able to coax Gasper to finally leave the room."
"...So is Gasper a man, or a woman?" Joe asked.
"That...is complicated. Kinda." Rias replied. "Technically, Gasper is a man. But...well you'll understand when you meet him."
Joe slowly turned to give Trevor a very blank look.
Trevor let out an exasperated sigh. He definitely had something to say on the matter, but the joke would be purely for Joe's sake and Rias might find it in poor taste, so he kept it to himself. "Well, what they call themselves doesn't matter all that much, we were just wondering. Does Gasper take any visitors at all, or is it just best if we leave them alone?"
Rias's eyes seemed to contain a hidden sadness in them as she replied, talking slowly as though she was working through her words herself.
"Gasper has...issues, when it comes to dealing with other people. If you're going to meet him, it's probably best if Akeno and I at least are there. It's really not my place to talk about, but...Gasper didn't really come from what you would call a 'happy home' before my Brother took him in." Rias trailed off sadly, her eyes seeing someplace very far away.
"Evidently, you have a habit of bringing in those types," Joe idly intoned.
"Hehehe, you kind of have a point there I guess." Rias weakly chuckled, running a hand through her crimson hair. "Still, they're all my precious Peerage. It doesn't matter what's in their past, I'll fight tooth and nail to keep them all safe now."
===
Lucky and Baka Reaction Theatre
===
Baka: "I like how we opened this chapter with you talking about how you liked have a fun, silly, fic to work on."
Lucky: "And here I thought I could avoid the heavy shit for once."
*Lucky's WIFI shits itself and he takes a few minutes to get back.
Lucky: "Hello? Can you hear me now?"
Baka: "So what's it like up there?"
Lucky: "I'm going to need you to elaborate, even though I know I won't like the answer."
Baka: "You know, up there in heaven? Since you just died? I hear there's a shortage of chairs."
Lucky: "Well there's seventy-two virgins, but they're not the kind you'd want. They just want to play Runescape and WoW all day."
*Rias starts talking about Gasper*
Lucky: "It's a [REDACTED DUE TO SV'S RULES, YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THIS WORD WAS]"
Not a whole lot of shit happening this chapter, mostly all just setup for future events. Still, some important discussion and plot hooks dropped in here.
Next chapter. Hoo boy. Now THAT'S where shit's gonna kick off.
Next chapter. Hoo boy. Now THAT'S where shit's gonna kick off.
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- Location
- Philippines, Manila, Tarlac City
DOWN BOY! DOWN! Now is not the time boner-kun!
- Location
- Finland
*Sniff, sniff* Does it smell a bit "Ho Yay" in here?
Oh, yeah, it's defintiely some Ho Yay in here.
Huh, so Azazel's a publisher, neat.
No, more likely that Azazael was feeling lazy, or being a prick.
...The thing is, it wouldn't be the dumbest thing she's done, and something tells me that if that would have bitten her in the ass, she would have whined and stomped her feet about it, like a spoiled little brat.
Not to mention that your "King" isn't exactly the sharpest arrow in the quiver.
You forgot to tell them about one of your Peerage members, whom they might stumble upon, and possibly scare said peerage member, perhaps attempt to detain said peerage member, thinking that he/she is a trespasser?
RAGE KEEPS ON BUBBLING...
...Y'know what, I'm not even surprised, MOVING ON!
...Interesting choice of words...
...God-damn lazy idiot.
And there's the question.
Yeah, but, is Gasper a TG, or do they simply like cute clothes? Because there is a difference there.
Good man.
Aye, but I've faced worse. Granted, this one's a blood-sucker, but at least it doesn't have lance that topples whatever it hits, a magic-nullifying grimoire, or a god-damn imaginary creature as a mount.
THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR BONER-KUN/CHAN!!
EDIT: Okay, is this spoiler-free enough?
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Dakkan Sall
Random Encounter
- Location
- On the world map
You should spoiler most of that stuff.
No giving out info on stuff they haven't come across yet.
- Location
- Finland
Ah, okay, will do.
- Location
- Somewhere
Just FYI, 'trap' is a slur and is considered against SV's rules.
Might want to take that out, to avoid any issues. People have been infracted due to it.
- Location
- Finland
Fixed.
But ho damn, starting feel like I should just keep my mouth shut about DxD stuff.
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
Hunh, really? I have literally never seen it used as a slur before.
- Location
- Somewhere
I'm not entirely sure myself, but from an article talking about such issues:
So yes, it's best to be careful around such terms.
- Location
- Finland