Remove ads

Mein Krieg (Youjo Senki/Tanya the Evil OC)

Reader mode
I would've at least tried telling the nuns how you planned it that way to have the greatest chance of getting through alive. Or write a note explaining it for them to find after the fact. Volunteering in order to avoid future conscription is a really smart move.
 
JuliusClonkus said:
I mean, once you really think about it, I don't think anyone actually intended to send Tanya into the war as minor.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Yeah, it's one of the running jokes in the series that Tanya doesn't really understand how other people think and somehow always manages to accidentally convince her superiors to send her into the front lines.

Essentially, she's a good actor, but a bad manipulator. Tanya almost never breaks her character, but she clearly doesn't understand what she looks like to other people.
 
Remove ads
Chapter 4: In the Barracks
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 4: In the Barracks

    The Empire
    8 June, Unified Year 1921    ​

    In all the movies and TV series of war I had seen in my previous life, the scene where the protagonist had to leave home and family to join the army was one of the most dramatic. They show the pain and suffering of his family that sees him leave, knowing that he will probably never come back. They show the sadness of his wife, often pregnant with their child, who know that her husband will not be there when she will give birth. All this to show the viewer how bad and unjust war is

    Our departure from the orphanage was not like this. We had no family, no affections and no belonging to anchor us to that place. The nuns were sad for us, but frankly we did not give a damn about it. We had chosen to be soldiers of our free will, and they could do nothing to make us change our minds.

    Therefore, when the military convoy started up their engines to return to their base, there was no love nor affection for the orphanage where we had lived since we were reborn. I admit it, maybe there was a bit of nostalgia, but it was not strong enough to make us stay.

    When we passed the orphanage gate, I felt as if I had just turned a page of my life. Our lives as children was over. And now, our lives as soldiers began.
    ​

    "You both have the aptitude to be mages" said the officer with the gray hairs looking at us "but why volunteer at your age?"

    We were now in a room of the Academy for Officers of the Imperial Army. Once the military convoy returned to its base, we had been redirected to this place.

    I do not deny that being accepted was difficult at first. The soldiers at the entrance could not believe their eyes when they saw two cute young children showing up to volunteer, and thought it was a prank. They kept laughing and trying to make us go away, and only when their superior officer appeared they started to take us seriously.

    "We want to serve our glorious Fatherland, that's it!" I said, looking directly in his eyes.

    This was a little trick in learned in my previous life: if you watch someone with determination in his/her eyes, you will manage to impress him. It was a very difficult trick, because, apparently, looking someone in the eyes is enough to make you start laugh, but I could not afford even a smile.

    "Well" said the other officer, a brown-haired middle-age man "I must admit that your magic aptitude is very strong, but..."

    "Are you doubting about us?" said Tanya "We are ready to take whatever we will have to face! This is our only choice!"

    The two officers looked uncomfortably at each other. It was evident that they were not sure about what to do with us.

    "Well" said the gray-haired man getting up of sudden "I think we have a little…problem here. Can you wait for a little while I go to get somebody to help us?"

    We both nodded, so the officer took the chance and left us alone with his colleague.

    Nothing happened for five whole minutes. Tanya and I continued to look at the remaining officer, while the latter kept checking the documents in front of him, perhaps looking for an excuse to be able to refuse us without breaking regulations. However, he found none.

    Finally, the door opened again, and the gray-haired officer went back in the room.

    But he was not alone.

    Along with him was a tall, dark man with a prominent scar on his right cheek. His officer's hat and the grades on his shoulder pads indicated that he was a senior officer.

    "There are the ones?" asked the man looking at us.

    "Yes, Captain. They want to volunteer; however, they do not look old enough to join!"

    The captain nodded, and then he went to our direction. He walked around us, analyzing us with his cold and penetrating gaze.

    "So, you children think that the war is just a big game, huh? That war is fun, and glory, and more fun, eh?"

    We remained silent. I did not know if I was allowed to answer, and even if I had, I would not have known what to say.

    "You want to join for the glory? Well, let me break the news for you: War is not a game! It is sacrifice, pain, death, more pain, duty! I already said pain? Well, let's repeat it!"

    The captain lowered himself, so that his face was right in front of us.

    "So, tell me: why do you want to join?"

    "B-because is our duty sir!" I said almost accidentally.

    The Captain looked directly at me. He did not appeared angry. For the moment, at least.

    "Did you said something, little boy?"

    "Yes sir!" I said firmly "I said that is our duty to fight to defend the Fatherland. That's the reason for us to join!"

    The officer kept looking at me for a few second, before switching to Tanya.

    "And you, young lady? Are you here for that too?"

    "Yes sir!" she said "Tanya Degurechaff, ready to start the training, right now sir!"

    The Captain nodded. Then, he got up and turned to the brown-haired officer.

    "Register these two and give them their uniform. I want them already accommodated!"

    The officer saluted, before heading out followed by his gray-haired colleague.

    "Okay children: you do not look old enough to take up a rifle, let alone fight in a war. However, since you are both so enthusiastic about volunteering and due to your exceptional magical aptitude, I will let you both join. This of course does not mean that you will receive a favorable treatment just because you are so young"

    The captain lowered himself again, so I was able to see his face.

    "By the time you will leave this academy, you two will no longer be children. You will be soldiers, forged and built to fight for the Empire! Do you understand me?"

    "Yes sir!" we both saluted

    And so, It began.
    ​

    Tanya and I were now in our new uniforms.

    The obvious problem with them was that, since most of the recruits tend to be young adult men, the quartermaster's office did not have clothes of our size.

    Even now, I cannot stop thinking about the face that the corporal responsible for the assignment of the uniforms did when the captain took us to receive our new clothes. He looked at us with total incredulity, and only after the captain confirmed that we were exactly what he was seeing he straightened himself up.

    After that, we finally received a couple of extra-small uniforms that, however, turned out to be too big still. Therefore, hard work with needle and thread was needed in order to restrict them to the right place.

    In the end, however, we managed to dress ourselves just in time to follow the captain to our new quarters. To Tanya was assigned the quarter B-15, while I got the C-1. That would have meant that we would no longer be dorm mates.

    While I was going to the quarter C-1, I could do not stop thinking about what Tanya convinced me to get into. We had just joined the military school for officers, and this meant that I would not get much chance to relax in the next couple of years. For the following months, life would be study, training, more study, discipline, all naturally with derivative obligations and tasks.

    However, I was not regretting it.

    Military life would be tough, but it was also the only real chance to earn myself a better future and a better life. And with the war approaching, I would need to work harder than the others to be sure of getting a place in the rear.

    I wondered what my chance of surviving until the end of the war was. Having been a soldier opens many doors for careers that you would never get to see in other ways.

    Ah-ah, I though as I finally managed to find my quarters.

    The door was half-closed, therefore I had no problems in seeing that there was someone else inside.

    I stopped for a few seconds, trying to think for the best way to introduce myself to my new comrades.

    What attitude could guarantee me more sympathy points? Cheerful and jovial? Sweet and cute? Or maybe a mix of the two?

    I leaned forward, and knocked on the door of the dormitory. The Moment of Truth.

    "Who is it?" asked a male, grumpy voice form inside.

    "Cadet Frederick König here to take his place!" I said, trying to appear as adult as possible with my voice.

    "Well" now, a big arm was opening the door "come inside, new..."

    Now a large, muscular man was standing right in front on me, looking down. At me.

    "...comrade?" he said with an astonished tone.

    "Hi!" I said doing the salute, "You must be..."

    "Cadet Urs Rommel. And who are you, kid?"

    "I've already told you! I'm Frederick König, cadet of this Officer Cadet School, just like you!"

    "Urs, what's happening?" said another voice from inside the dormitory

    "Heinz, you would not believe this!" said Urs looking back.
    ​

    After the first, understandable moment of confusion by my comrades, I managed to explain to them about my young age, and that I was there because I volunteered there, just like them.

    My fellow cadets were three adult men. In addition to Rommel, the other two were named Heinz Bukliger and Leonhard Nadelman. Heinz was a tall, skinny man with red hair and brown eyes, while Leonhard was an average-physical man with brown hair.

    Both were pretty surprised by my bodily appearance and my tone of voice.

    "So… you volunteered?" sked Leonhard, keeping his eyes fixed on my hair.

    "Yes" I said, trying to look natural and relaxed "Do you have a problem with that?"

    "No, it's just that… hell; I have a little brother who is older than you."

    "So?" I asked looking at him "My friend Tanya Degurechaff is here too. And she looks younger than me!"

    "Wait" said Rommel still unbelieving it "Are you telling me… there is another child here as well?"

    "If by child you mean someone which looks like my age, that's right. However, do not underestimate her. She's pretty tough!"

    This affirmation caused more than a smile between my fellows. Apparently, they could not imagine someone as old as me who could keep up with them.

    "You're so cute," said Heinz caressing my hairs.

    This sentence made me angry. Not because of the act, but because I kept being reminded that my cuteness was still there. Once, I thought that cuteness would be a blessing; however, lately I had come to the realization that it was more like a curse. This because, due to it, nobody would ever take me seriously.

    It was like being a baby seal: even being dressed in a military uniform was not enough.

    However, swearing or getting angry would have blown all my chances to socialize with my fellow cadets, preventing me forming useful alliances with them. Therefore, I kept smiling and said.

    "I'm happy to hear that!"

    That was when the door of our quarters opened again, and a sergeant came inside. As soon as I realized it, I immediately got up and saluted, quickly followed by the others.

    "Lesson starts in ten minutes." he said in his most serious tone "Finish stowing your belongings and get moving!"

    "Yes sir" we all said.​
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Hold on. Just who's Frederick sharing bunks with?

    I see a Rommel, I see a Heinz, and I see a name where I recognize very little. The first two names make me suspicious indeed, especially when they turn up in the spotlight of an officer school.
     
    This is interesting, but I gotta admit his lack of burning hatred for everything makes him a little less interesting than Tanya. On the other hand it may mean he is actually better qualified for command work than she is, since he won't be as much of a Frontline fighter.
     
    So, I spy one recurring grammar error throughout your chapters so far: punctuation in and around quotations. Namely, the omission of said punctuation. Generally, if you have a quote both before and after a sentence, your punctuation should be a period at the end of a sentence. Example:
    "Wait" said Rommel still unbelieving it. "Are you telling me… there is another child here as well?"
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...


    Furthermore, if a quote comes before a sentence describing the person, like in the previous example, your punctuation will vary. If the stuff in quotations would have had an exclamation mark or question mark, then those are used, same as usual. However, if a period would have been used, then a comma is used instead.
    Example:
    "Wait," said Rommel still unbelieving it. "Are you telling me… there is another child here as well?"
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Otherwise, for the most part, you're doing pretty well! I like the story so far, so I'll definitely be keeping track!
     
    Absolute_Flaw said:
    So, I spy one recurring grammar error throughout your chapters so far: punctuation in and around quotations. Namely, the omission of said punctuation. Generally, if you have a quote both before and after a sentence, your punctuation should be a period at the end of a sentence. Example:



    Furthermore, if a quote comes before a sentence describing the person, like in the previous example, your punctuation will vary. If the stuff in quotations would have had an exclamation mark or question mark, then those are used, same as usual. However, if a period would have been used, then a comma is used instead.
    Example:


    Otherwise, for the most part, you're doing pretty well! I like the story so far, so I'll definitely be keeping track!
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Thank you for your segnalation. I'll try to improve myself and not repeat this mistake....
     
    Chapter 5: Starting of a military life
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 5: Starting of a military life​


    When we finally managed to find the classroom, I realized with much dismay that we were the last ones.

    The tables of the class were almost all already filled by other cadets of the Academy. A couple of them (the ones nearest to the door from where we had entered) gazed toward me with amazed look. However, there was no surprise on their faces, and looking at the class, I knew the reason why.

    Tanya was already there. Sitting on one of the tables in the front row, she waited with ill-concealed impatience for the arrival of our instructor. We shared a knowing look.

    My comrades started to sit in the remaining free positions; therefore, I looked for one myself.

    I knew from personal experience at school that the position where you were sitting in a classroom was of fundamental importance for your purposes. My favorite position was among the first rows, to have a clear vision on the lesson and, at the same time, remain low to the professor's gaze. You will never believe it, but often those who run a class tend to question mainly those from the second row on, because they know that there, they will have more chances to "catch" someone who has not studied enough.

    Suddenly, I realized the place to the right of Tanya's was still empty. In the front row and near to the only person that could understand me, I could not ask for something better. However, I realized that even Rommel was going to take that place, so I had to act quickly.

    "Sorry" I said putting myself between Rommel and the place that we both wanted "But I think this place belongs to me"

    Rommel backed quite stunned "Why are you…ooh…I understand" he said with a mischievous smirk.

    Huh? I though, trying to understand what he understood.

    I looked back, and that was when I realized that Tanya had looked up from her papers, and was now looking at me with a quite shocked expression.

    Great, I though glancing back at Rommel, which was now sitting in a side second-row table, now as minimum he will think I have a crush on Tanya!

    However, I did not have enough time to show him the truth or simply berate him. Therefore, sat in my hard-conquered position, trying not to look to the left.

    "Frederick, you dumb idiot!" hissed a female voice I knew very well.

    "Happy to be still with you, Tanya" I answered, careful to keep the tone of my voice down.

    She did not reply, so we both waited in silence for the arrival of the instructor.

    Our wait was not long. We heard the noise of heavy boots, and after a few seconds, a tall, heavy figure entered the classroom. He was not the captain from before. He was a dark-haired man, that by the insignia on his shoulder pads I understood to be some kind of major.

    The major went to the table in front of us, opened his register and looked at it for a few second. Meanwhile, nobody in the class was making a noise.

    Suddenly, the major straightened himself up and yelled

    "OK maggots, listen to me. I am Major Vetter, your drill instructor. From this moment on, you will speak only when I will ask you to do speak, and the first and last word that will go out from your mouths will be "yes sir!" Do you understand me?"

    "Yes sir!" the class erupted as a whole.

    "What the hell! I cannot hear you!"

    "YES SIR!" we screamed with all the breath we had in our bodies.

    "It is my duty," continue the Major "to see to it that you become fit to lead the valiant soldiers of our glorious fatherland, and by God I shall do it!" he said looking at the class in search for someone to take.

    I was watching silently as he kept talking to us about how his work was to turn us into something that could be worthy of the uniforms we were wearing. For some strange reason, I could not to think of the Sergeant Hartman of Full Metal Jacket, a movie I particularly liked in my old life.

    Suddenly, I realized I was smiling. I fought with all my strength to repress the smile, hoping that the Major had not seen me.

    "I see that you're all grown up men" the major said to the class "however, do not believe that..."

    He stopped talking. Right in front of Tanya and me. I knew he had noticed us, because his eyes narrowed.

    "You!" he said pointing to me "Who are you?"

    "Cadet Frederick König, sir!" I said saluting him.

    "Well, tell me, cadet: why are you here and not in the kindergarten?"

    "To fight the enemies of our beloved Fatherland, sir!"

    He kept looking at me for a few second, before switching his gaze to Tanya.

    "And you little lady?"

    "Cadet Tanya Degurechaff!" she said saluting as well "I'm here to serve too!"

    The major kept looking at us for a few second. Then, he turned to the rest of the class.

    "Well, looks like some of you are not even adult yet! Do not expect to me to act as your babysitter. Here you will not cry, you will not laugh. Here you will learn all of the basis of the war! Are you listening to me?"

    "Yes sir!"

    "Since apparently kids are now able to join," he said looking at us "I expect from both of you the same result as everyone else! I do not care about your young bodies, or if you are tired, or anything else! Do you understand?"

    "Yes sir!"

    The Major smirked. Then, he turned to the blackboard and started writing the first lesson of the day.
    ​

    Three hours later, Tanya and I were in the cafeteria and we were talking about what we had learned so far. Each of us had a long pile of notes about the lessons that we were supposed to study and learn.

    "I still do not understand you," I said looking in Tanya's direction "Why do we have to learn all these things?"

    Tanya said nothing. She was too busy drinking her hot chocolate. I had a chocolate as well, but I was not enjoying it. Personally, I would have preferred any kind of beverage, but apparently, that was another disadvantage of our young bodies. The cafeteria staff practically laughed when I tried to ask for something different from chocolate, saying that I was 'too young' amongst other things. I wanted to protest, but Tanya's quick (and somehow inappropriate) intervention prompted me to accept the "advice" of others.

    "Do you want to give a bad impression of yourself to the Major, Frederick?" Tanya said once she has finished her chocolate: Her smirk was fake and provocative, as if she was happy with that thought

    "Well, no" I said, trying to explain myself "But I do not think we have to study so much either. I mean, who would study all these things by heart?"

    She smirked. Again.

    "Are you telling me you are giving up on my plan?" she said in an almost mocking tone, looking around to be sure nobody was listening to us "Because if that's the case, I will not say anything anymore"

    I froze. She was not leaving me at my fate, right?

    "What are you trying to say?" I asked in an alarmed tone.

    "Think about it, you brainless doll: if the Major gave us things to study and learn, he will probably question us about them in the following day. Right?"

    I thought about it. "Well, yes, just like in any other school or academy"

    "And" she kept saying, "What do you think will happen to the ones that do not study?"

    "They will be punished and give a bad impression to the Major."

    I still could not understand. I certainly did not want to finish on the bad side of Major Vetter, but if I managed to study without straining myself, I still would have got scores good enough to not encourage him to notice me.

    "OK. Conversely, what do you think will happen to the ones that will ones who stand out in lessons and exercises?""

    I thought a little more.

    "They will get on his good side and…"

    I stopped, as I realized what she was saying.

    "You realized it, you dumb idiot. If we focus our efforts on excelling in class and training, and we can give him constant proof of it, we could manage to impress him to the point of improve our chances of being promoted... Or better yet..."

    "A decent drink at the cafeteria?" I joked

    She hit me with her elbow "No, like a recommendation for a good place in the rear. We could be like training officers for recruits: we could spend the whole war without seeing the front. Without dying…"

    I though at the idea. It certainly was not bad: we would have had hot meals, comforts and privileges much greater than the ones we could have found on the front. In addition, we would have get to play the "Sergeant Hartman" part for ourselves.

    "I like your idea" I said looking at her.

    "It's called signaling," she said with a smirk "It's an economic theory that I've learned in my previous life, to boost your chances of being noticed in a good way by your superiors and show your value as a resource. Its principle is very simple: you have to demonstrate your employer that you possess good qualities that for many others are difficult to obtain. If you manage to give the right impression…"

    "…you can obtain a promotion in a much easier way" I concluded smiling "Very well!"

    Tanya smiled in turn, before taking another sip of her chocolate.

    I took a sip of mine too. I did not liked it, but it did not mattered more to me. I was too happy.
    ​

    Later that day, Tanya and I were in the library of the Academy, both reading our notes with maximum concentration.

    The library of the academy was a very beautiful place. Inside you could find thousands of volumes, all related to military history, strategies and the development of warfare over the centuries. Pages and pages of detailed studies in spasmodic research of new ways to fight and win wars.

    To enter the library, no special permits were needed. However, it was forbidden to bring the books out of his rooms: they could be consulted only there. I remember a cadet who, not knowing this rule, had tried to take a very old and apparently precious book with him to his dormitory. The result? The volume had been destroyed, and the cadet in question had been heavily scolded and punished by his duty officer. To prevent such things from happening to us, both Tanya and I had written down all the rules of the Academy, and we often checked them out so that we know what we were allowed and what we were not allowed to do.

    Once you entered the library, you would be faced with hundreds of shelves. All the shelves were on the right side, while on the left side (almost completely irradiated by the light of the windows) were large wooden writing desks on which the cadets could consult their books. Since both Tanya and I were both determined to study as efficiently and productively as possible, we had positioned ourselves at the desk in the middle, as far as possible from both the entrance and the spiral staircase to the upper floors of the library.

    We thought that by doing so, we could work without risking of being interrupt. We were wrong. Very, very wrong.

    I was just writing down some important things when I felt a pat on my shoulder.

    "Yes?" I said looking up from my book "Who are y…"

    My mind froze as I realized I was talking to a Major.

    I immediately stopped talking and saluted. Tanya, which in turn had realized this, did the same.

    "At rest, young soldiers" said the Major looking at us with a very gentle smile.

    I looked at him carefully. The Major had black hair (a little lighter than mine) with a long strand of hair that set aside his face. He had a gentle, cool-headed looking face and wore bottom-rimmed eyeglasses. Seeing him reminded me of an old friend I had met before moving to Japan in my past life.

    "You are… Cadet Tanya Degurechaff and Cadet Frederick König, right?" the major asked us.

    "Yes sir!" we both exclaimed in unison.

    The Major smiled at us again, "My name is Major Erich von Rerugen, and I'm Chief of Personnel Affairs here at the Academy. Since I have heard that two children have managed to volunteer despite their age, I wanted to verify their existence in person"

    Mentally, I wondered what he wanted from us.

    "What were you reading with so much interest?" Major von Rerugen asked us.

    "We" I started to say unconsciously "We were studying the texts that Major Vetter ordered us to study!"

    Major von Rerugen stepped forward and took a glance at the book I was reading before of his arrival.

    "On War of Carl von Clausewitz?" he said taking the book in his hand and looking at it with evident attention, "Major Vetter is really a traditionalist!"

    I did not say anything. A wrong comment, if it came to the right ears, could have made my life in the academy much more difficult.

    "Tell me, Cadet Degurechaff: what's your opinion on Major Vetter?"

    "I?" Tanya said "I… I think that the Major is an honest and responsible man, hard but with a heart of gold, sir. The workload he gives us is heavy, however, thanks to it, we will know how to survive on the battlefield!"

    If I could, I would have given an amused look at Tanya. It was obvious, in my eyes, that she really did not think what she had said.

    "And you, cadet König?" the Major turned his gaze on me, making me sweat cold "What do you think of the Academy?"

    "I believe that the Academy is a perfect example of the perfection and efficiency of the Army, forge of new generations of officers destined to fight for the glory of the Fatherland, sir!

    The Major looked at me. Had he not believed my words? If so, I could get in trouble.

    "Your patriotic zeal is commendable. And, judging by your work" he said looking at our still-under process notes "your commitment to study is no less strong. I suppose they had good reasons to allow two children like you to enroll here, magical powers or not. Since you are new here, I will grant you the benefit of the doubt. I just hope you know what awaits you..."

    And with these words, Major von Rerugen withdrew from our desk and walked away, followed by my gaze and Tanya's.

    Only when he disappeared from sight I gave myself the luxury of a breath of relief.

    I tried to concentrate on the study again, but before I could find the line where I had been interrupted, Tanya hissed:

    "What do you think of him?"

    I stopped, looking around us nervously. Tanya could have kept the tone of voice low, but the fear of being heard was high. Fortunately, none of the few other visitors of the library seemed to have noticed anything.

    "W-what do you mean?" I replied, keeping my eyes on alert for possible listeners.

    "I mean, what you think of Major von Rerugen?" she answered back.

    "Well" I said, trying to make local mind on my first impressions of him "He seems a friendly officer to me, of the kind that is able to listen to the needs of his men. I could be wrong, however."

    Tanya snorted, "Do not kid yourself"

    "I won't" I replied as I focused again on my notes….    ​

    Important information note​

    Hello everybody.

    It has been five days since I started publishing my fanfiction, and I never expected such a positive feedback. Therefore, I want to thank all of you who have read or are reading my story: reading your comments and knowing what you think of my story is the best way for me to start my day.

    Unfortunately, I also have to report some bad news: because of my many commitments at the university, at home and with my other writings, (a publishing house showed interest in one of my books, wow!) I will have to slow down the pace of publication of the individual chapters. The publication of the chapters will start again in three days, Thursday 20 December 2018, and will be at a weekly rate.

    However, I would very much like to continue hearing your opinions and your ideas.

    Therefore, if you have ideas about the story and want to communicate them, you are welcome to do so.

    What do I mean?

    I mean, that, in case you have:

    • Ideas for possible plots or subplots
    • Ideas for new characters
    • Ideas for possible episodes
    • Questions about the fiction or the canon story
    • Request about what you would like to see in my story and what you think I should focus

    You are more than welcome to submit them to me. I always welcome with joy possible ideas or suggestions for my story, as well as criticism (as long it is constructive) or simple questions. Write to me in private message or reply to this.

    Your best ideas could become part of the story.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • While I am enjoying this, you may want to look into getting a dedicated Beta Reader. There are numerous spelling and grammar mistakes scattered throuought all chapters. It's rather distracting.
     
    I'm fine with not being apart of the story. Too much thinking. Short burst of profound intelligence is my strong suit.

    Anyway, it's your story and you are doing this as a hobby not a job. Take as long as need/want to make a chapter. There are stories that update months at a time that still have readers wondering when is the next update.
     
    In the original, Tanya brings a materialistic, mechanistic, economic view of war to the world. This is explained by the fact that he was focused on economics and administration in his past life, with an interest in reading history and other non-fiction for pleasure. BUT! What does Frederick bring to the table? He's an IT guy, the only real potential (aside from being a humanizing character in a grimdark serious that feeds on dehumanization) is if his talents translate to the use of magic and computation crystals.
     
    I never interacted with the source material - all I know of Youjo Senki is from the internet. Thoughts on this fan work:
    1. Tanya's justification for why they are volunteering seems ridiculous - but I don't know for sure if magic changes this so much
    2. Frederick just follows Tanya's lead. Not to say he's bad... but his POV seems superfluous
    3. Where are the guns.
    4. Where are the magical girls.

    So consider this watched, and maybe in the future enjoyed. Thanks for writing fic.. *im not good at this review stuff(
     
    The story is good, but Frederick should realize he's being too much of Tanya's puppet at some point when the other people he's interacting with may be better for him.

    He actually likely has better prospects for advancement by working on his own because Tanya behaves in a fundamentally unlikable manner.
     
    xThomas2 said:
    I never interacted with the source material - all I know of Youjo Senki is from the internet. Thoughts on this fan work:
    1. Tanya's justification for why they are volunteering seems ridiculous - but I don't know for sure if magic changes this so much
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    That's Tanya's canon reason for joining the army, and it would have even worked had she not accidentally acquired a reputation as ultra-patriotic battle-nut that hates being away from the front lines.

    4. Where are the magical girls.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Tanya is right here! We also have a magical boy, and bunch of magical men too, I guess.
     
    The story is nice so far, but it seems to be following the stations of canon a little too closely as well. Even in situations where an alternate perspective or input would be appropriate, Frederick is making the same mistakes as Tanya. A good example of this is when officers were asking them why they wanted to join the military, and the two of them responded with patriotic platitudes instead of their real reasoning-reasoning which, ironically, might have brought them closer to their goals than the platitudes did. I feel that it's time for something to happen that shakes up the plot in some way. Perhaps we skim through the academy and they're assigned to different stations, or Frederick calls Tanya out on some of her ridiculously aggressive behaviours as being counterproductive.

    Either way, I'm enjoying the story so far. I'm interested to learn how the new backstory of our 'heroes' will play into things, and I have to admit I cracked up a little at Tanya's description of signalling as a motivator for promotion: an economic theory that won't be developed for over half a century. While it may be helpful subconsciously, their superior officers won't be aware of such theories and certainly wouldn't be looking for signals, which rather takes the wind out of her imaginary sails.

    I don't feel like that's the only implication of Signalling vs the currently-predominant(in story time, of course) Human Capital theory here, but one thing we can be certain of is that it won't work out the way Tanya expects.
     
    Last edited:
    Omake: Cadets never change.

    Major Erich von Reurgen smiled as he left the aged halls of the library.

    The building was old, built when the Empire was but a humble Principality.
    It has witnessed the rigours of Monks, Nobles, Academics and Royals; but for the last six decades it saw little beyond cadets and the rare scholarly officer.

    Perhaps not so rare, He thought to himself.

    Afterall, he still frequented the library, albeit for habit's sake rather than any academic persuets.
    Having spent a decade seconded to various commands before being settled in the academy made him rather appreciative of the calm and predictability to be found here.

    Even those two children, where in the end quite predictable.

    Having literal children becoming cadets was strange to say the least, but seeing children, and more importantly, newly minted cadets nose deep in books...
    Now that was downright disturbing.

    Thankfully, the unnatural scene was merely superficial.
    When he came over to them, they both saluted! What's more they weren't even wearing their caps!

    Despite all appearances to the contrary, those two were typical cadets down to the very core, thier diplomatic praise of major Vetter further proof.

    It warmed his heart, and rekindled fond memories of his time as a cadet.

    He didn't correct their errors or point to them however, oh no, he wouldn't deny them the experience of old Vetter's fury.
     
    Last edited:
    Reader mode
    You must login or register to reply here.
    Remove ads
    Back
    Top