Panory
The Omake Dragon
- Location
- New York
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Fuck. We were doing so good too.
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May The Invisible Hand Be With You - (Star Wars CK2-Style Quest)
- Thread starter Dr. Snark
- Start date
- Sci-Fi
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- Tags
- star wars canon what canon tsundere dice ck2 quest actions have consequences all the credits all work and no play makes ciaran a dull girl best sister capitalism ho! despairing qm teetotaller society member gotta catch 'em all insanity looting off the rails sage dice approaching spicy sheev tsundere asajj
I like how Ciaran is as surprised by future events as anyone else but then goes on to later pretend it was all planned for.
Coincidence indeed.
Coincidence indeed.
She was surprised by them two weeks ago when she planned it out. Not when they were actually happening, because by then they were part of the plan.
Master Basher
hYPER Demon
- Location
- UK
More like an annoying Jojo. That's so mimetic to Lucas he at one point got retcon'd in everywhere, before being completely whitewashed.
On one end, Jar Jar. But on the other end, do long as we play our cards to shove Jar Jar to Darth Sidious, who'd only tolerate his annoyance since he can easily annoy us... Only to have his annoying comedy acts ruin some more Palpatine plots.I'm sad now. This quest was doing so well and then Jar Jar got acknowledged. Truly, I can't read this anymore
But more seriously, want Jar Jar dead useful. Or either dead, or useful?
Have him become a Sith Apprentice of Palpatine, and nudge watch the fireworks burn as he by proxy annoy the JedI to our interests. Which reminds me...
More Palpatine is all in the looog game, and doesn't react too well to changes against his plans. While Ciaren causes and likely thrives from chaos. And if her plan goes off kilter, she'd just go with the flow, and improvise.
EDIT: To be more serious.... The moment Jar Jars clumsy traits turn to become a PERFECTLY valid Shatterpoint excuse, is the likely moment Ciaren might be interested in recruiting Jar Jar..
... Assuming, he doesn't end up being more annoying than its worth.
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Master Basher
hYPER Demon
- Location
- UK
In advance, since I know how fondly hated Jar Jar Binks is to the whole fan base of Star Wars. I was curious enough to google "Jar Jar Binks Annoying". And immediately, I was met with headlines such as these;
- Spit in Women's Faces?
- Infect Their Friends with Deadly Viruses?
- Have No Respect for Other People's Belongings?
- Say Stupid Things Like "Ex-Squeeze Me?"
- Seduce Women to Get Information Out of Them?
- Pretend to Be a Jedi…. , ….While at the Same Time Trash Talking the Force.
- Kill a Respected Senator
- Start an Intergalactic War and Be Responsible for Billions of Deaths
If this potential Spanner List doesn't lead to potential "Darth JoJo" if we derail/SL Anakin away from his fate as 'Darth Vader'... Hindsight, if he's just as annoying, and a potential 'spanner' that can accidentally give Palpatine a relief, or worse become his 'counter spanner' against Ciaren.
... Now, paranoia aside. The best logical/natural conclusion, would be to either fold/break Jar Jar Binks into our own 'general' plans for the future stability of the universe...
... Or to 'peacefully' remove Jar Jar Binks, before he becomes a Darth Derringer to Darth Sidious. One who'd completely take the mick out of everything we fight for, by incidence and coincidences.
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Now, what else, bar the horrifying thought of Jar Jar Binks being 'invested' as an apprentice, much to this thread's annoyance... Before critting so hard, we accidentally turn him into another Shatterpoint user, somehow... Or one, who could cause even more broken railroads, instead of confirm them in the most horrific, 'comedic' fubars?
Jar Jar would not be half as annoying if he stayed silent. He would not be an annoyance at all if he did not exist. Coincidentally, we have a person on staff whose job description is to silence (that's euphemism for murder) things for us. So lets put Jar Jar out his misery, and more importantly, ours.
I concede your point about IC reasons. Though I did imply that I want him killed because of OOC reasons.
Jar Jar is the type of character I want to... not exist in my fiction. I just cannot stand characters whose primary purpose seems to be an attempt to be funny.
Dr. Snark
Exactly As Planned...Probably
- Location
- Right where I want to be
- Pronouns
- He/His/Him
That's the beauty of Fracture Manipulation: As the events unfold from Ciaran's PoV in the past they aren't as planned. Afterwards they are Exactly As Planned now that she knows what's going to happen. Ain't future sight/probability manipulation the greatest thing?
If it makes you feel better I have absolutely no reason to continue mentioning him barring the next part of the interlude. Don't worry, it's going to be great. Honest.
Anyway, going to acknowledge a couple of things real quick.
Let it not be said that Ciaran doesn't know how to make people enjoy themselves. Canon, +10.
Ooooh, now these are interesting takes on events. Have a +10 for that.
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Master Basher
hYPER Demon
- Location
- UK
... Now, to wait until the next part, to see how a derailed canon and Ciaren may affect, or possibly 'deal' with Binks in such a manner everyone will like, if not laugh at...
... While probably setting up for hell knows, a future action to keep Binks out of the picture, if going vague.
To be fair, given massive amounts of derailments. I'd not be surprised if it instead leads to Episode 2 being where Ciaren hijacks from coma, while Episode 3 is her preparing to shank Palpatine early, while much revelations are had with everyone...
... Which may give Obi-Wan a bigger headache on for all I know, Darth Tanya taking Anakind under her influence... Yet is oddly just as keen on helping Anakin avoid becoming Darth Vader, which might B SOD Obi-Wan on if we're light, or dark. Or hell, 'balanced' (at risk of bias shouting Grey)
I don't know, I've come round to tolerating Jar Jar. Is he annoying? Of course, but most of us judge him by his role in Phantom Menace were his role was to keep the younger audience's attention (which considering whose dry scenes of sitting and talking exposition and standing and talking exposition, I understand).
His role expanded as he became a Representative, we learnt that he wasn't an idiot, he was just clumsy. Destructively clumsy yes, but in spite of that he was invited to a lot of social gatherings because he was able to come across as likeable for appearing genuine.
TCW's showed Jar Jar had a brain as his accomplishments include:
1) Defeating Nute Gunray and his accompanying Droids while making them believe he was a Jedi.
2) Turning what was supposed to be a ransom delivery into a rescue operation when the transport got shot down. Which included pointing out the power lines to lead them to th base, giving the idea to ride the local wildlife to carry the supplies and hijacking a tank to first cut the power and then force the surrender of Hondo.
3) Winning the heart of a queen.
4) Convincing an anti-Jedi planet to allow one of the Council to accompany him on his visit.
5) Helping Master Windu stop a previously unknown cult's plot of sacrificing force sensitives to resurrect Talzin.
Point is while Jar Jar is destructively clumsy, he's not worth the amount of hate people have for his voice.
His role expanded as he became a Representative, we learnt that he wasn't an idiot, he was just clumsy. Destructively clumsy yes, but in spite of that he was invited to a lot of social gatherings because he was able to come across as likeable for appearing genuine.
TCW's showed Jar Jar had a brain as his accomplishments include:
1) Defeating Nute Gunray and his accompanying Droids while making them believe he was a Jedi.
2) Turning what was supposed to be a ransom delivery into a rescue operation when the transport got shot down. Which included pointing out the power lines to lead them to th base, giving the idea to ride the local wildlife to carry the supplies and hijacking a tank to first cut the power and then force the surrender of Hondo.
3) Winning the heart of a queen.
4) Convincing an anti-Jedi planet to allow one of the Council to accompany him on his visit.
5) Helping Master Windu stop a previously unknown cult's plot of sacrificing force sensitives to resurrect Talzin.
Point is while Jar Jar is destructively clumsy, he's not worth the amount of hate people have for his voice.
- Location
- Asia
Shit like this is what makes me wary of him. I know about the meme of Darth Jar Jar, but are we sure that it's just a meme ?
Someone with better reddit-fu might be able find that post that goes into detail about him being a secret force user.
Master Basher
hYPER Demon
- Location
- UK
More seriously, on one end as is, I doubt Jar Jar is someone like Ciaren in being a hidden Force User, unless major railway shenanigans are at hand on him.
Like the joking thought of Palpatine being desperate enough to try and influence Jar Jar to the dark side of the force, or more likely him getting enrolled to the Abyss Walkers, and learn of the force better than trying to ape jedi.
But on the other end, whose to say he might end up dragged into that sort of role, or worse alternatively end up as a role model for the likes of...
Han Solo. Or long term may for all I know, end up with a reputation similar to Irresponsible Captain Tyler.
We don't know what Lucas original plans for JarJar was, only that his role was supposed to be bigger in the coming films but that the fan hate made him scrap those plans. Also there is this:
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Have to agree with the above. There was a fair amount of circumstantial stuff pointing to Jar Jar being the secret master, possibly to be the new big bad in whatever came after the original trilogy. Unfortunately, he was hated so intensely and universally, that those plans were scrapped. Which is a shame, because I'd prefer a secret Master Sith dancing his way through the idiot routine and getting ignored, than an actual idiot doing everything he does and surviving from sheer luck. It'd also make more sense why Palpatine would trust Jar Jar of all people to lead the vote for Emergency Powers, possibly the last place he'd want a well known screw up, unless he has very good reason to trust the result.
Here's the original Reddit post. The whole thing is remarkable, but here's an excerpt from the beginning:
I read the original post when it came out, then followed the resulting discussion for several weeks. Some of the 'evidence' was flimsy and easily dismissed, but a lot of it is not. Things like Jar Jar deliberately encouraging Anakin's crush on Padme, in Episodes I and II. Things like Jar Jar sabotaging the hyperdrive of the queen's ship as they escaped Naboo. Things like Jar Jar predicting the future at the start of Episode II.Reddit said:
Yeah. I am a non-ironic supporter of the Darth Jar Jar theory. I am convinced that George Lucas had a grand reveal planned for Episode II, that the bumbling clown was actually the 'phantom menace' the whole time (similar to the 'Mule' from Asimov's Foundation series...). But the backlash led him to back down, keeping Jar Jar as the cosmic dunce, and replacing him with a geriatric Dooku in the sequel.
(If you're following my Gray Paladin quest, rest assured I have no plans to introduce Darth Jar Jar there; those original plans are no longer canon).
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- Location
- Tulsa Oklahoma
... Do you think it is possible that Jar Jar is another user of conceptual shatterpoint? I mean, his bumbling and clumsiness that turn out to result in his triumph over what otherwise would be insurmountable odds, it looks kind of like the unconscious use of conceptual shatterpoint.
A Betting Man (Currently Non-Canon)
Panory
The Omake Dragon
- Location
- New York
- Pronouns
- He/Him
A Betting Man
Silas Cata was on a losing streak. It didn't happen often, but when he did flub roll after roll of the chance cubes, he lost big. Which is why he often kept an ace in the hole when he went gambling. Occasionally he'd get caught up in a game or two… or twenty where he didn't expect it, but people across the galaxy only went to Zeltron for four reasons. To win big, lose big, party hard, or hire mercenaries who would then use the money to do one of the previous three things on the list.
Silas frowned across the table at his opponent, a young man, Silas wouldn't think it a stretch to call him a boy, with dark skin, short hair, and more luck than common sense. Though he had been making a killing off of Silas, so he might be brighter than the old scoundrel was giving him credits for.
"One more roll." demanded Silas, grinning as if he'd already won. A confident air was half the battle at the table, both when negotiating and gambling.
"I think you've had too much to drink old man." laughed the boy. "I've already emptied your pockets. You're broke! You've got nothing to bet with!"
"One more roll." insisted Silas. "Double or nothing. Your cash against my ship."
"Please. I've gotten enough cold hard credits out of you to buy a cruiser fresh off the assembly line." scoffed the boy. "And I saw the ship you got here on. Why would I want that old piece of junk?"
"Because it's bleeding edge technology, modified by some of the brightest minds in the business." Silas pointed a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of his ship's hanger. "Because that ship is the fastest thing in the galaxy."
"Then why does it look like a piece of garbage I built over the weekend in a cave with a box of scraps?" countered the boy.
"It looks like junk because if anyone ever builds a faster ship, they'd never bother sending it to catch my piece of garbage." explained Silas. "Besides, I don't think I saw your starship on my way in."
It spoke to the youth's inexperience that he rose to the taunt. "Alright old man, I'll bite. Even that ship has to be worth a few credits as scrap metal and spare parts. Combined with what you already gave me tonight, I'll spring for the luxury model. Besides, your luck's shown no sign of turning in the slightest."
Silas grinned, confident in his victory. He'd never lost a bet on his ship. Whether betting on the ship metaphorically, hoping it would be fast enough to slip a blockade or shake a pursuer, or literally as he was doing right now, betting on his ship had assured him victory for years, regardless of how bad his luck might have been in the moment.
"Red, you get my ship, Blue, I walk out of here not a credit poorer." said Silas, tossing the chance cube against the raised sides of the table. The force bounced it along, slowing down before finally coming to rest. The side facing up was blood red, and Silas stared in disbelief.
"Haha! Hope you have a ride home old man, because that ship is mine!" exclaimed the young man. For all he had been trash talking the ship moments prior, he certainly seemed excited to own it.
Silas stared in disbelief at his own miserable fortune. "I lost a 50/50 shot thirty seven times in a row… how?"
"They say luck is a part of skill, you know. I say the opposite." said the boy conspiratorially. "Skill is a part of luck. Like the skill to notice when you're playing with a loaded chance cube." The dark skinned rascal held up his chance cube and dropped it on the table. Like before, it came up red. "Keep it as a souvenir."
Silas couldn't even bring himself to be mad as he sat at the table in disbelief. "Can't believe Lando actually got someone with that loaded chance cube." said Galvin as he came up from behind, clearly enjoying his grandfather's misfortune. "The only reason people still let him in is because they figure no one is dumb enough to fall for it. Bet you regret putting your ship on the table."
Silas sighed and shrugged. "Eh, it's all good. So long as the ship is still in the family it doesn't matter too much. I can just think of it as a late birthday present."
"Wait, so Lando is… You promiscuous bastard! Every time!"
AN: Han being Silas' grandkid is the bit everyone wanted, but Han has to win it from Lando in a card game first.
On the one hand, I'm curious to see how this AU Episode III would turn out. On the other hand... Darth Tanya? Really?
NexysDhyArchen
Throne Breaker
If you win it, you're a 'family' member. Ciaran will ensure it. There is no escape. You will be Abyssimilated.
Well, Tanya certainly is evil.
Killerflood
Corporal Cannonfodder
- Location
- Saṃsāra
As much as the idea of Silas being a horny bastard when he was younger is humorous ... there's got to be a limit.