Martian Stars (NaNoWriMo)

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Martian Stars

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In the aftermath of an apocalyptic war with Earth, Mars...
Pronouns
He/Him
Martian Stars

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/--/

In the aftermath of an apocalyptic war with Earth, Mars has been granted it's freedom, but at a terrible cost. Vast debris fields from the clash make leave the Martians without even the comfort of looking up in the sky and seeing the stars.

Ada Lovelace was just a dumb kid when she hopped into a Armored Soldier, an 80 ton walking tank, to fight for Martian independence. Now she's not sure what she fights for. Drifting through life as a mercenary pilot, she falls in with the Buzzards, a plucky group of salvagers with ambitions to reach the skies.

But for some, the war never really ended. When an old threat appears, Ada must face her own past and the past of Mars itself.


/--/
My attempt at NaNoWriMo. I'm interested in being brutally attacked with criticism, and also people to bounce ideas off.​
 
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Prologue + Chapter I
Prologue

No one won the war.

Not the Martian Independence movement, the roar of a nation crying out to be free from it's colonial oppressors, only to find themselves not free, but trapped. Brave souls fought and died for their homeland, only to find that homeland lost to them. Only to find the sky lost to them

Not the Earth, which found itself an Imperial power without ever meaning to. Patriots were sent millions of miles from home for fight they were lied to about. Some died. Some never could return home.

A single piece of space debris, half an inch wide, can at sufficient velocity kill a spacecraft. The Martian and Earth fleets final clash, hundreds of battleships and thousands of missiles and kill vehicles, resulted in a screen of debris that would soon engulf the entire planet. Mars was won it's independence, but the people of Mars would be bound to it for many lifetimes.

People gave up. The government fell apart from within. The free-for-all in the aftermath made things worse.

Six Years Passed

/---/

Chapter I - Pirates on the Dune Sea

People make mistakes. It's the fundamental truth of the human existence. Of every existence, really. Sometimes, they are small. Sometimes they are extremely large.

Some would call Pottsfield one such mistake. A little bastion of civilization right before reaching the Hippolyta frontier, they weren't particularly wealthy nor were they particularly powerful. What they were was ripe for the picking by any pirate worth his salt. They had been struck twice in the past month, attacking the supply train that came at the beginning of every week.

This wasn't an uncommon occurrence here on the frontier. Maybe things were better closer to civilization, or maybe civilization was just better at hiding where the theft was going. Regardless, a target was a target. When everyone is desperate, it doesn't matter who you steal from or how you do it.

Like clockwork, they came a third time. This too, was a mistake.

Motorcycles and stolen military vehicles, including a nasty looking salvaged hovertank with "KILL DOZER" crudely painted on its side with a macabre smiley face, roared as the old fashion mag-rail train rolled in. Hooligans laughed as they raced next to their aging target. Another easy picking as the meager defenders of the train cowered in the face of overwhelming firepower.

And then the train's cargo stood up.

The brown canvas sheet that had covered the Armored Soldier blew off into the wind. A couple of the more worldly bandits attempted to break off, but were stymied by the rest of the mob.

It's difficult to describe an Armored Soldier in movement. They're ugly, brutal looking machines, roughly humanoid but a little smaller then a shipping container. They are oddly graceful, like a ballerina built like a linebacker on rollerblades. This one was scoured and beaten, used hard.

Those pirates who had never seen one in action before also found they hit like a truck,

Machine guns tore through bikers as the AS brought its weapon to bear. Coldly noting the decimation of the first wave, a scattered few of the enemy vanguard remaining, the pilot within clutched the stick. A robotic arm chucked with mechanical precision a harpoon, skewering one of the enemy technicals. She supposed she should feel something as she watched fellow human beings die, anger, joy, anything, but all she could feel was numb.

Utter carnage reigned. The Armored Soldier tore through the bandits, crushing their vehicles with metal fists. It didn't go through the battle unscathed, but it could take whatever else the bandits could dish out.

"WARNING: TARGET LOCK"

Except the Kill Dozer. The pilot gunned the accelerator as an anti-tank shell launched at exit velocity. It grazed the AS's "head", destroying a machine gun and blinding one of its cameras. The pilot blinked as part of her display went dark. Whoever was gunner in that thing was a good shot.

The mech charged at the tank, the pilot betting on her mech's agility over anything else. It was a suicidal gamble, but one that had become a depressing regularity for the pilot.

Someone would die here.

The Kill Dozer's cannon aimed for center mass, the pilot's cabin. The round was loaded, the finger was on the trigger. Squeeze….

The mech pilot felt the air pressure slamming against the chasis hard enough to cause her ears to pop as the round rocketed past. The tank's barrel was under the AS's arm, and she applied deliberate pressure, crushing it into uselessness. She then wound her mech's fist back.

The hatch popped, and a man in a black helmet rose out, hands up.

The battle was over. The town was saved. And Ada Lovelace, the pilot of the Warhawk class Armored Soldier that had done the job, slumped into her chair in misery. She had won. She had survived.

/--/​
 
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Excerpt from Chapter II, could really use some assistance. This is going slower then I'd like because of Indians vs Cubs.

/--/

Martian faux leather boots crunched the martian soil in a deliberate manner, marching toward the blast doors. They were scuffed boots, ones used to walking the world. They had been walking for a very long time.

Ada Lovelace was best described as gaunt, like a predatory bird that was long without a meal. Her faded flight suit and faux leather bomber jacket were a size too wide for her, meant for someone with five kilos more muscle. The only thing that truly fit was the expertly sealed breath mask, meant to protect from Mars Lung. Another thing to worry about out here on the edge. Even the mask didn't hide how little it's wearer didn't care about her appearance, her face itself caked in dust, grime, and splotches of red.

Stepping through Pottsfield's open doors, Ada felt a wave of precisely regulated air pulse over her. She took off the jacket and shook the dust out before throwing it over her shoulder, before walking into the city proper, her eyes low.
Pottsfield was a dime a dozen. Prefab buildings, built on Earth decades ago by the lowest bidder, surrounded by every inch of greenery that could be stuffed under the dome, a much more recent addition. Outside was farmland, but not to eat. Mars had spent untold millennia without even microscopic life, the intention was to catch it up.

Still, it was civilization, and people will find a way to assert themselves as individuals even in the wildest of circumstances. The buildings had been painted in purples, blues, and greens, rare colors on the red planet. It was tacky, but it was also very human. Lived in. The people who lived there were proud of their home, despite the circumstances of its creation and the state that it had fallen into. That civilization had fallen into.

Ada saw the man she was looking for waiting by the tram stop. Baird Turner, the mayor's steward, a thin man with subtle cybernetics around his ears, seemed somewhere between nervous and pouty. His eyes looked her up and down, as if re-evaluating his opinion of her. Like he hadn't expected to see her again. Whatever. Ada had won. She'd get paid, and then wander off to the next job to get paid to die for these people.

Looking down at the ground, Ada wiped her face. She wondered when "Other Martians" became "These People". Had it been during the war? Or after?
"Miss Lovelace, right this way. The mayor will see you." That voice made Ada's skin crawl. An Olympian accent, as if everyone wasn't taught by an AID intelligence. Only fat cats and snobs, or the children of the same, used it out here. Ada decided that she disliked the man.

The tram hummed along it's track at a respectable pace to the Mayor's home. Mansion wouldn't be the right word, as it was just as utilitarian as its neighbors, if slightly larger. Ada was glad for the respite. This ride was much smoother than her typical mode of transportation, and it let her massage out some stiffness in her neck.

/--/

The intent is to have Ada go into town, maybe meet a war buddy, and then learn about an old battlefield out on the frontier which might have some replacement parts for her damaged robot. I'm just having trouble reaching the next bit.
 
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The brown canvas sheet that had covered the Armored Soldier blew off into the wind. A couple of the more worldly bandits attempted to break off, but were stymied by the rest of the mob.

Worth pointing out that Mars air is very thin, and doesn't really blow stuff - at least heavy stuff - places. (This was one of the few science errors in The Martian.). Sound also doesn't carry very well, because, again, not really a lot of stuff to carry the sound.

The battle was over. The town was saved. And Ada Lovelace, the pilot of the Warhawk class Armored Soldier that had done the job, slumped into her chair in misery. She had won. She had survived.

Random thought here: does the main character consider pounding the enemy into a bloody pulp anyway? This dude was, after all, trying to kill her. Even if she doesn't - for, you know, reasons of basic humanity - maybe having it at least occur to her is worth it.
 
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