I think you should be more specific with this, I'm not sure what you are getting at.
So I'm unsure what, exactly, the bolded is referring to. Jiraiya was certainly willing to
use Hiashi and his clan's resources to help him find Naruto, but Jiraiya was Hokage at that point and therefore had the power to order Hiashi to do that sort of thing. But the way this is written implies something different: it implies Jiraiya made deals with Hiashi that weren't the sort of thing he could do as Hokage, but as Gouketsu Clan Head or similar. I'm struggling to figure this out. Is this when Jiraiya took the hat?
...anyway, I do recall that Jiraiya's immediate plan was to supplant the Hyuga with the Minami, a plan that went kibosh with Nikko's death. Aika probably knows this (she's a Jonin and therefore an important figure in the Minami clan), and considering this was Jiraiya's first real interaction with the Hyuga/Minami situation (beyond getting the clans to pool resources in finding Naruto, which I've discussed above), I don't think saying this is accurate.
The rest of this part is good, especially mentioning how Hiashi made
that shitty vote. Mentioning that, especially since Minami voted
for Hiashi then, makes the point that clearly the Hyuga can't be
that bad without having to say it out loud and uncomfortable truths blah blah. Sorta undermines the whole "Minami will never do anything to benefit Hyuga" deal they've been going on.
Does Hazou know about the Kobayakawa? I'm not certain he would know about the Mori Clan's involvement.
Regardless, I think we need to be a bit more detailed when explaining this. What does mean to move more of Leaf's economy through the Seventh Path, what laws/organization are we referring to, how subservient are they to the Hokage, MC worries,
is it really safe to be putting Leaf's economy onto Summoners when losing a scroll could be catastrophic to trade...<having some difficulty articulating my concerns, mostly worried about accusations of treason from creating another powerful organization not wholly beheld to the Hokage>
I'd have offered to talk about how we could introduce Seventh Path jewels and other stuff the Hyuga Clan has traditionally held the monopoly in, in order to break it, but Jiraiya didn't exactly
sell them in Leaf.
Might be a good idea to add how Keiko is 'mentoring' Hanabi (reading between the lines: making her less influenced by Hyuga shitty ideals, and thus less likely to be one of the "other"). But that's just what I would do, not 100% if that is the best play.
Maybe be more specific with the "alliance" (did we even have that, beyond convenience)? We could point out that we're still planning on making the Hyuga...not the Hiashi-kind of Hyuga, but something better, in this way.
Does this mean that we're offering for her to consult with the clan head, and *later* tell us if she accepts?
