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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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I mean this will just leave us free to #stealthebijuu instead of playing politics. Can be S-rank within the year
 
faflec said:
But muh screaming in Kagome :(
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Okay, screaming in Kagome can be an exception. :>

TalonofAnathrax said:
I'll precommit to doing that if the chapter, sure.
I would prefer if the chapter were posted soon though. Enough with all the teasing!
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Next few minutes, should do.

Roomba said:
Out of curiosity, how often is the actually posted chapter surprising to you? I know you guys talk a lot of stuff through in QM chat, but to what level of detail? Do you sometimes see the update posted without having read any draft, you read it, and go "wat"?
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The chapters are always a surprise. We usually don't have time to review and share in advance because time zones suck. I probably only see a draft of someone else's chapter a couple times a year.
 
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Chapter 262: Passing on the Torch
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    • If you are reading this, then either I am dead or you'll soon wish you were. If it's the former, I hope I at least took some of the bastards with me. Was I a hero? Did I die saving Leaf? Or did I just screw up somewhere along the way? Sensei always said my hotheadedness would be the death of me. I told him it would be suffocation beneath a horde of screaming fangirls. Guess now you know which one of us was right.​

    Naruto, if you're here, then it wasn't all for nothing. Just imagining you reading this message brings tears to my eyes. You were the best part of my life, and I let myself forget that far too often. I told myself nobody else could do my work. I told myself that I could always spend time with you later. I should have been more of a father to you than I ever was, and I hope that one day you'll forgive me for leaving you before I could learn how.

    Mari, Hazō, Keiko, Noburi, Kagome. Looks like I brought you in only to leave you high and dry. I wasn't much of a husband to you either. Or a father. Or a research supervisor (Kagome, I can hear you gritting your teeth from beyond the grave). But I don't regret for a second that I tried. I was so proud of the Gōketsu, proud of what we were becoming together, and I know that you'll carry the torch we lit together on into the future.

    All of you, look after each other. Family is the greatest gift of all, and I wish I hadn't taken so long to understand something so simple. I love you all and always will, even after I become one with the Will of Fire.

    Gōketsu Jiraiya
    ​
    -o-​

    Jiraiya had left one more message for each of them, including seal-protected ones for Naruto and Orochimaru. They already had one for Tsunade.

    Hazō. You were always brilliant. I knew it from the moment I first took you in. You were also one of the greatest troublemakers ever to give me a recurring headache. I knew that from before I first took you in. You have the potential to change the fate of nations—hell, you already have—as long as you don't blow them up first. As Fifth Hokage, which I still am at time of writing, and Hiashi can take his politics and shove them up his ass, I hereby give you official permission to save the world. That thing you're trying to do that I never fully understood to my dying day? Do it. Let nothing hold you back.

    Just try and make sure our village is still in one piece at the end.

    One last thing. All of you are my family, but Naruto has been my heir for a decade. In his letter, I leave the clan to him.

    He will need your help. Trust him. Support him. Respect him as your older brother, because that is what he's been all along. Together, there will be nothing you cannot accomplish.

    But if he chooses not to lead the clan, or if I've failed to bring him back…

    I, Jiraiya, founder and leader of the Gōketsu Clan, do hereby acknowledge Gōketsu Hazō as my heir. Let this be written into the records of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and may his reign be illuminated by the Will of Fire.

    You haven't had fifteen years of preparation for this day. You haven't had fifteen months. Even so, I already know that you'll find the strength to shoulder this responsibility. I know that, with or without Naruto, you'll grow into the leader this clan needs.

    -o-​

    Tsunade did not look any worse for wear.

    Granted, she was in a hospital bed with more bandages visible than skin, but her eyes were clear and her eyebrows perfectly functional as she rolled her eyes. For better or worse, the parts of her that made her Tsunade were completely intact.

    "Took you long enough. I see you didn't bring Kagome, which is just as well 'cause I like this hospital in one piece, and Mari's still being a crybaby. Not exactly the army I was hoping for, but then again, the last one didn't work out so hot. So what do you want?"

    "Before anything else," Noburi said, "we want to offer our condolences. I have no idea what it must be like to lose people that close to you, but at a guess, it's probably the worst thing in the world. I can't imagine it, and I don't even want to try. But for what it's worth, we're in your corner. You reckon there's something we can do to help, you just name it and we'll get it done, or my name isn't Gōketsu Noburi."

    "I feel the same way," Hazō said. "Jiraiya was a great man, and you're probably the only one who knows the full truth of how great he was. I wish I'd had more time to find out."

    "I concur," Keiko said with a strange tension in her voice. "We had finally begun to see Jiraiya for who he was, and it is unjust that he be taken from us before we could fully explore what that meant."

    "You saw him for who he was?" Tsunade roared, eyes blazing. Some massive, unseen force pinned them all to the rear wall through its sheer pressure. "How could you possibly begin to—

    "Ah, sod it." Tsunade slumped back in her bed as if some other emotion had abruptly cancelled out the anger. Keiko fell to her knees, face drained of blood.

    "At least your heart's in the right place. But kid, you ever imply that you get how I feel, you with your drop-in-the-ocean knowledge of who he was, I swear on my grandfather's blood I'll punch you through the wall and then tear whatever's left to shreds."

    Keiko tried to rise to her feet, but then stumbled back down. Hazō wished he could have offered her a hand up.

    "So. You just came over to waste my time with platitudes, or have you got actual business?"

    "Jiraiya gave us a message for you before he… left," Hazō said carefully. "It has a seal on it."

    He handed it over. She studied the seal for a few seconds.

    "He always did think he had a sense of humour."

    Tsunade raised the seal so it was in front of her face… and headbutted it hard. There was a brief blue flash in the middle of her forehead.

    "Hmm." She studied the now-open letter while the rest of them stared.

    "Yadda yadda… first love, no better friend and teammate, references to epic battles I don't even remember, bunch of namby-pamby emotional stuff, blathering about how he gets why I left Leaf proper and what a big deal my work is, not that he ever bothered to send me a ryō, leaves me a load of stuff I'll just throw in the trash, classified information I don't care about… ah, here we go.

    "He's begging me to give you my full support, like I was just going to leave you in the lurch if he didn't say it. Says I could be a good fit for the hat, which would be the greatest load of bullshit I'd ever heard if I hadn't had a chance to talk to Oro on the way to Nagi. Says I'm welcome to run the clan until the crisis is over, like I've got nothing better to do than babysit a bunch of kids."

    "So… you're not taking over the clan, then?" Hazō ventured.

    "Are you kidding? The second this place stops drowning in its own stupidity, I'm gone. I have real work waiting for me back home. Somebody has to be ready to put this world back together once you idjits are done tearing it apart."

    "That reminds me," Hazō said, quickly amending his plans for the conversation in his head. "Is it true that clanless ninja aren't allowed to become medic-nin?"

    "Horseshit," Tsunade snorted. "Anybody ever made a law like that, I'd make sure there wasn't enough of them left for a cremation. Hospital doors are open to anyone who passes the tests. Been like that"—her voice fell briefly—"since the second war.

    "Hell," she recovered, "back home I have my genin train civilians because we don't have the numbers to go out to the farms. Half of them get eaten by chakra beasts, and the other half's as good as useless without medical ninjutsu, but anything's better than so-called folk remedies. You exorcise all the rot spirits in a village, and that's dozens of people safe from the weeping rot as long as they keep up the cleansing rituals.

    "You find whoever's turning away prospective medic-nin, and you tell them that if I don't see twice as many being trained next time I'm passing through… eh, just tell them I'll be passing through. That's usually enough."

    Hazō gulped.

    "Can't you stay?" he asked. "If Hyūga takes the hat, if we have a xenophobic bigot like that in charge... it'll be the worst-case scenario."

    Tsunade shook her head. "Kid, you have no idea what a real worst-case scenario is. Hiashi may be an asshole so big you can stuff the entire eastern continent in him with room to spare, but he is loyal, and not dumb either. He'll hate every second of it, but he'll make the alliance work, because he gets what's at stake. The problem isn't him getting the hat, it's him keeping it. He's no Yagura, but he wants to bring back a golden age that never was—and I should know. I was there.

    "He wasn't as bad when he was your age," she went on thoughtfully. "He wanted to be Hokage, like every kid wants to be Hokage, but back then what he said was that he'd make Leaf such a paradise that all the filthy foreigners—got to remember, still brought up as a Hyūga—would crawl out of their filthy holes and come to the gates of Leaf begging to be let in.

    "Difference is, kid Hiashi would've let them in and treated them like civilians with chakra. Today's Hiashi would drop a tactical-scale ninjutsu on them while they were all clustered together.

    "What it comes down to is that he just doesn't get what it means to be Kage. Grandpa thought being Hokage meant being a symbol of unity everyone could rally around. He was a big softie, but he never held back—on anything. Uncle Tobirama thought being Hokage meant making the hard decisions nobody else could, so he was ruthless but fair. Sarutobi-sensei thought being Hokage meant guiding people to be the best Leaf shinobi they could be. Little Minato thought being Hokage meant doing whatever it took to make sure as many people lived happy, peaceful lives as possible.

    "Hiashi thinks being Hokage means dragging the past kicking and screaming into the present, minus all the lessons we've learned along the way. Also, see above under 'asshole'. Even Uncle Tobirama, who'd taken the time to invent some of the world's strongest ninjutsu while fighting multiple wars, stabilising the Fire economy, writing the Leaf legal code as we know it and establishing proper law enforcement, and generally making Grandpa's huge but fluffy vision into reality, managed to stay patient and respectful because he got that you can't get anything in life done without help from the people around you."

    Hazō nodded. "Respectful, you say? Well, that certainly puts this in perspective." He handed her the broadsheet.

    It took several minutes for her to finish laughing.

    "This? Hiashi? This? The boy's an asshole, not a moron. Also he doesn't have the sense of humour to pull a stunt like this. I can't believe you thought this was for real. Did they knock the brains out of your head at the Chūnin Exam, or was that gourd empty all along?"

    The question should have been trivial. But what flashed across Hazō's mind wasn't being caught up in the whirlwind that was Ami. It wasn't blowing up Kortezan. It wasn't dancing with Ikeda or wrangling Shin or even being set on fire. It was Zabuza's eyes.

    Not his sword. His eyes.

    He could feel himself being held in a vice. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't close his eyes. Wherever Zabuza was, it was right in front of him, and his steel grip was not merely death but dying. Zabuza wasn't a man, mortal and finite. He was a force. Being killed by Zabuza was written into the core of what made Hazō human, no more escapable than Hazō's own heartbeat. Behind those grey eyes, beyond the mercy of the ancestors, was a death that was instant but lasted forever—

    "Hazō! Dude! Hazō! Mr Mew! Can you quit spacing out? Tsunade's asking you a question!"

    "Sorry," Hazō said dazedly. "What were we...?"

    "Politics, duh," Noburi said. "Tsunade was just done telling us what she thinks of Mari-sensei going for the hat. This is important stuff, so pay attention, all right?"

    "Oh," Hazō said. "Sorry?"

    "Now I'm not fond of repeating myself, kid," Tsunade said impatiently. "I'm behind on Leaf politics. How many of the neutral votes do you reckon you can swing within the next week?"

    Zabuza was dead. There were witnesses. He wouldn't be coming back.

    Except he'd already cheated death once. He'd be back, and then—

    "Hazō!"

    "Sorry," Hazō repeated. "Two? Three?"

    Tsunade sighed. "How'd I let myself get caught up in this bullshit? I never understood 'til now why Oro ditched the whole thing to focus on his research. Look, I've got nothing better to do with the Senju vote, so you come here and prove you know what you're doing, and I guess I might as well back you up. You waste my time, and I'll chuck it wherever. I don't much care who's in charge as long as they can keep the wolves at bay long enough to fix the mess Jiraiya left behind."

    Keiko, sitting on a chair in the room's most distant corner, shifted her gaze from the floor to Hazō. "If you are quite finished daydreaming," she said quietly, "then we should hasten to deliver Naruto's message as instructed, and leave Tsunade to recover her strength."

    "Naruto's message?" Hazō asked.

    "Not filling me with confidence here, kid. Go leave Naruto's letter with the nurse. He'll send for you when he wants to talk. With what he's been through, he's going to need a hell of a lot of rest before he does anything else."

    Noburi thanked Tsunade and they headed out. At the last moment, Keiko turned around.

    "Once again, I apologise for any unintended offence," she said, bowing deeply. "I shall endeavour to be more considerate of your feelings in the future."

    "Ah, get out of here, kid. I wouldn't really tear you to shreds."

    "Oh." Keiko sagged in relief.

    "Wouldn't be able to move far enough to reach you once you're through the wall. Best I can do is make sure that first strike goes through your ribcage, lungs, and spine, and leave it at that."

    "Ithasbeenapleasuretalkingtoyougoodbye!"

    -o-​

    Kei's world was not so much sorrow as fury.

    The one time. The one time.

    She had not chosen Ami. She had not chosen Mari-sensei. She had not chosen Hazō or Noburi or Akane or Kagome. Despite appearances, she had not chosen Tenten—it had never been a choice—and even Shikamaru had been thrown at her by political machinations, and by rare grace of fate discovered to be compatible.

    The one time.

    The one time a choice had been presented to her, the ability to decide between two equally valid options, and she chose to trust Jiraiya… and the universe killed him.

    Why bother asserting her independence? Why bother asserting her agency when the world continued to treat her like a lifeless doll? Might it be better to stop, to surrender the pretence of free will that she had begun to delude herself with in Mist? Why should she exist as an individual in a universe that was not merely uncaring but actively destructive?

    And him. How dare he? The Fifth Hokage, Jiraiya of the Three, the alleged greatest man in the world. How dare he die? Did he even comprehend what it had taken for her to open her heart this far to the man who had once placed her in a killbox? What it had meant for her to choose to trust him? She gave him her shuriken. How dare he not bring it back?

    Kei had rarely been so furious with another human being. Even Hazō and Shikamaru, with their joint disregard for her humanity, had not driven her this far. If Jiraiya were not dead, if he had not gone gallivanting off into some distant place where she could never reach him, she would have killed him with her own two hands.

    She almost tore the note in half without looking when a wary Hazō brought it to her. The next second, it was as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over her.

    Nara Shikamaru requests the pleasure of Gōketsu Keiko's company at 8 p.m. tonight at the Nara compound.

    While she had been wallowing in her own feelings over the man she had finally chosen to be her father, Shikamaru had just lost one he had lived with for his entire life. Kei could not imagine the kind of parental bond the two must have shared (though she imagined that it might have been a weaker equivalent of her and Ami's). Why had Kei, in her abominable egotism, not already rushed to his side to offer her support?

    -o-​

    Shikamaru was alone. Lady Nara was absent. Shiori also. He struck a lonely figure sitting at one end of the great dining table, swathed in shadow despite the many lamps burning overhead. Though he would have received the news days ago at most, already there were deep circles beneath his eyes, and his ink-stained fingers tapped anxiously against the wood.

    "Keiko," he said. Even his voice was hoarse. "Thank you for coming."

    "Not at all. I apologise that I was not here sooner." She paused. As with most social activities, condolences were far outside her sphere of competence. She was aware, now very aware, that there were many ways to offend or inflict pain on those in mourning, but uncertain whether there in fact was a single correct response.

    "I am sorry for your loss," she began tentatively. "I had little personal knowledge of your father, but I respected—"

    Shikamaru held up his hand. "Please. Let us not have that conversation right now."

    Kei squirmed at yet another unknown social failure. "I apologise for my insensitivity."

    "No," Shikamaru said. "But there is far too much to be done to spare time for mourning. I had no conception of how much paperwork my father was forced to handle every day, nor how many important decisions were passed on to him by those unwilling to take personal responsibility. And of course, I must decide which of my father's projects to freeze so that I can invest my resources in handling the present crisis. I have not slept since I received the news, nor am I the only one enduring such demands. I had not previously understood why my mother so insisted on hiring me a personal assistant."

    Kei nodded. "Then you invited me for a specific purpose?"

    Shikamaru reached for a mouthful of curry without looking. His chopsticks glided over the surface of the rice without catching any, but he did not seem to notice as he brought them back to his lips.

    "I believe you will agree that at this time, what Leaf requires is stability. The Mizukage may have saved the world with Hyūga Hiashi's assistance, but it is our responsibility to see that it remains saved."

    "Saved the world?" Kei repeated incredulously.

    "Am I the only one who reads the debriefings?" Shikamaru snapped. "She manipulated the jinchūriki into feeling a combination of intense guilt and gratitude, while Lord Hyūga supported her by reminding them that they might have been killed as they slept, but for the allies' sense of mercy.

    "At this time, the jinchūriki comprise a significant proportion of each village's military power. Killer B may yet be the next Raikage, while Rock must secure the approval of Rōshi and Han before it goes to war. The Mizukage has delayed the Fourth Shinobi World War for as long as the jinchūriki's goodwill holds out.

    "Which is not to say that stability is not essential. The weaker Leaf appears, the more pressure and manipulation the jinchūriki will suffer from their villages' respective hawks, and right now they are themselves barely stable.

    "To which end"—Shikamaru rose from his seat—"Gōketsu Keiko, will you marry me?"

    He stretched out his hand to her, then pulled it back with a wince.

    "This makes for a pleasant change," Kei noted drily.

    Shikamaru shuddered. "Believe me, the error of my ways has been most thoroughly impressed upon me. Insofar as I myself have no heir prepared, only average pain tolerance, and already less sanity than I would prefer, please rest assured that your welfare is of the greatest importance to me."

    Kei loved her sister more than anything in the world.

    "I accept your offer, Nara Shikamaru," she said graciously.

    "Good," Shikamaru said briskly. "How's Tuesday for you?"

    "I—I beg your pardon?"

    "Village stability. Secure alliances in the face of chaos. Someone I trust to be at my side in a time of need. Swift resolution of key logistical and financial issues. Wednesday is also acceptable."

    "Tuesday," a dazed Kei repeated. "This Tuesday?"

    "I would have suggested Monday, but a display of respect for traditional values requires proper selection of venue, guests and rituals, which will take at least a day, and while the conjunction of the planets will not be optimal, it is the best we are likely to get on short notice.

    "Here are the forms. I have taken the liberty of adding an extramarital relationship form, as well as provisional summoner registration. I would appreciate it if you returned them to me by Sunday night. No kunai marks, please."

    -o-o-o-o-o-​

    The final page of Jiraiya's will outlines what he bequeaths to each of you.

    The Toad summoning scroll goes to the Gōketsu, to be bestowed upon whomever the clan selects (along with a note that Naruto is still not eligible to be a summoner no matter how much he whines and no it's not fair but that's how summoning works so shut up brat), as do Jiraiya's personal notes on the politics of the Seventh Path, and his sealing notes. He has also left you a set of notes from his spy network that he never found a use for, including black market contacts, smuggling routes, and blackmail material on certain civilian authorities.

    His ninjutsu scrolls go to Naruto, as do his personal savings. He also leaves Naruto an unlabelled set of access codes to bring to ANBU.

    Various items of sentimental value are divided up according to unclear principles. For example, Jiraiya's diary and a copy of his first novel go to Naruto. His forehead protector and novel drafts go to the Gōketsu.

    He also leaves behind a letter of pardon and immediate appointment as a senior medic-nin for Orochimaru, conditional on him safely returning Naruto to Leaf.​

    -o-
    ​
    You have received 4 - 1 = 3 XP​

    -o-​

    What do you do?

    Voting closes on Saturday 11th of May, 9 a.m. New York Time.​
     
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