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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Velorien said:
Forged in Folly

Cost: 250 XP

Special requirement: All social skills must be below 10.

You are so incredibly socially awkward that others have given up on interacting with you like a normal human being. In social combat, replace the skill you're using with a static TN determined by the QM. If your opponent fails the roll, they will do whatever it takes to get rid of you, as per the skill's normal effect (e.g. if you used Empathy, they may give you personal information just so you stop asking questions). If your opponent succeeds, social combat will end and they will proceed to get rid of you by other means.

You lose the benefit of this stunt if any social skill ever rises to 10 or above.
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...what are Pandaa's current stats?

eaglejarl said:
"I think it should be fine, sensei," Kei said. She sliced the edge of her thumb with a kunai and touched her hand to the floor. "Pandaa!" she called. "I choose you to summon!"

There was a bampf of purple smoke and the pangolin appeared. He stood hunched over, claws tapping together as he peered around nearsightedly. "Ooh! Hi, Keiko!" he said, then halted. "Oh...sorry. First names are a thing here, aren't they? You keep them secret because they give power over you, I think? Oh dear." He looked at the ground in embarrassment. "I'm terribly sorry. My mother would yank my tail for being so thoughtless."

Keiko smiled; it was oddly nice to be in a position to offer kind support for another's blunder. "It's all right, Pandaa," she said. "You should feel free to call me Keiko. We don't actually keep our names secret, it's just that first names are considered intimate. They're only used between close friends or family members."

Pandaa's head came up. "Ooh, or mates, right? Do humans really mate face-to-face? That seems so awkward! How do you—" He frowned, peering closer at Keiko, then shuffled over so he could get closer. "Are you all right?" he asked. "You look funny."

Keiko's blush was about to melt the stone floor beneath her feet.

"She's just a little embarrassed," Inoue said, amused. Pandaa eeped and spun around to face her. The jonin smiled and waved. "It's an honor to meet you, sir. Please excuse me if I don't get up, but I'm a bit stabbed at the moment."

"Oh, no, please don't think anything of it!" Pandaa said. He looked around the cave. "Ooh, you must all be Kei—er, Mori—er, Keiko's clan!"

There were some vague sounds of agreement-with-reservations, but no one actually said anything. Hazou had his hand on Kagome's arm; the sealmaster slowly slid the wooden ring box back into his pocket, but didn't fully relax.

"I'm Inoue Mari, Keiko's sensei," the jonin said. "Let me introduce you to—"

"No, wait!" Pandaa interrupted her, tapping his tail on the ground excitedly. "This is my chance for my anthropologist training to shine for the first time in my life! I can totally do this!

"You're the clan matriarch," he said, pointing a claw at Inoue-sensei. "From your muscles and your bearing, you're clearly terribly strong. And looking at how old your kids are, you started very young. You must be very fertile."

Inoue-sensei blinked. A complex series of emotions flickered quickly across her face, none of them positive.

"Oh, please don't look so uneasy, sir," Pandaa said to Kagome. "I know I'm terribly masculine, but I wouldn't dream of trying to usurp your place as her consort. Besides, it's not like I can't smell the smouldering sexual tension between the two of you."

Kagome opened his mouth. Then he closed it again.

"And this must be your heir, the first daughter," Pandaa moved on to Akane. "She is very strong, with excellent child-bearing hips, and I'm sure she will make a good successor together with her very virile partner," he indicated Hazou.

Hazou and Akane looked at each other, then quickly away.

"It all makes sense now," Pandaa said happily. "Keiko, you are the second daughter. I can see the deep love you have for your mother, and you resent your sister as competition for her attention and leadership of the clan. You wanted the summoner's power so that you could go off and start a new family with your mate," he pointed to Noburi. "I know he's not as manly as your sister's partner, which I suppose is another reason you might be jealous of her, but I can tell he's deeply devoted to you and will make a great provider for all the children I'm sure you'll have together.

"Although," he said more quietly to Noburi, "I understand that humans are monogamous, so you should really hurry up and decide between Keiko and this other female I'm smelling on you."

"Pandaa," Keiko said very carefully, "I think you should come back another time."

Before Pandaa could reply, she made the dismissal hand seal, and he disappeared.
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We definitely should delay the wedding. How else are we gonna meet Snuncle Maru under friendly circumstances?
 
So while we're waiting for Hazou to be taken
100% seriously about those dating lists...


We should be friendly with the other competitors, yes? Build good friendships and such?
 
MadScientist said:
I don't think asking Kei for advice [read: databases] on dating will accomplish what you want to accomplish.
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After the tournament. In a private bedroom, Keiko is sitting next to a window (safely covered from the fifteen most likely trajectories on which a projectile might be thrown), using the natural light for some reading.
Hazou enters stage left.

HAZOU: "Good morning, Keiko. I hope your absolutely expected and inevitable victory in the tournament left you in a good mood. I wish to discuss some medium term concerns with you."

KEIKO, distractedly: "Yes?"

HAZOU: "It occurs to me that recently you have been much more successful in managing and building relationships with people than I have. How did you do that?"

KEIKO: ...

HAZOU: "In particular, in terms of romantic relationships, during our life in leaf I put you on zero or one new relationships..."

OROCHIMARU interrupts sottovoce, addressing the audience: "Three, actually."

HAZOU: ", whereas it would appear I achieved negative one."

KEIKO: ...

HAZOU: "Perhaps you could lend me some relevant literature?"

KEIKO: "I DO NOT READ THOSE KIND OF BOOKS."

OROCHIMARU, as before: "She do."
 
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Wordcount: 411
[Χ] A Dish Best Served Cold

  • Talk with Ren
    • Mood: Detached amusement, happiness, familial bonding and politeness
    • Nice to see you Auntie Ren.
    • We wish you no ill will for how your Chunin exam proctors tried to FUCK US at every other turn.
    • Yet, it is a shame no Mist genin made it to the tournament. Maybe if we hadn't needed to go all out...
    • Ask her about the current state of things in Mist.
      • How is Hana? How are the Kurosawa?
    • We wish to arrange a meeting with Momma, alone if possible. Pretty please?
  • Talk with Hana
    • Mood: Happy yet a bit forlorn
    • Intent: Make sure we knows we are sorry for the current state of things. Yet we acted with everyones best interests in mind.
    • Ask after her. How are you doing? Be honest.
    • Inquire about the current state of affairs in Mist.
      • Who are the major players?
      • How are things shaping up?
    • We would like to speak with you and Auntie Ren alone.
      • We have something we need to ask the both of you, regarding the Kurosawa clan.
  • Talk with both of them now
    • Engage in mild conversation before cutting to the chase.
    • Make your request.
      • Mood: Serious, this is perhaps the most important thing you can ask the Mizukage, the Kurosawa and your own Momma.
      • Intent: Rip the band aid off. Let them know you are serious and that there is very little you will not offer in return for this
    • Pause. Collect yourself. Be professional.
    • Request a copy of the famed Kurosawa Gazpacho recipe.
    • CONTINGENCIES:
      • If the conversation goes badly, book it out of there. Hopefully Momma will hold Auntie Ren off.
      • Sprint to Jiraiya's location immediately. No delays!
      • Announce your arrival by tossing explosives into the air as you get there. Use the big ones.
      • If the above cannot be done, play dead.(If Hazou thinks it will work)
      • Otherwise: Well, say your prayers
 
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faflec said:
Let's not lie, please. We would have gone and punched the fuck out of every other team in the Fifth Event even if we were in 1st place.
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Im pretty sure it was a result of our deal with Shikamaru and the weird point interactions that resulted in that booted all the Mist teams out.

If Shika's teammates (the Sand Genin) were not spared our wrath, then there likely wouldve been more Mist nin in the tourny.
 
@OliWhail @eaglejarl @Velorien

Was the sense that Hazou got from the conversation with Jiraiya about the CHAOS suit that this was now more of a Leaf/Clan secret, or would Hazou be okay to use the OPSEC sanitized version in the tournament if he wished?

Bowing to the Toad sages greater wisdom on when and when not to keep secret weapons secret, etc
 
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