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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Kiba said:
Actually, there's a very good reason why he never progressed beyond shaping exercise.

From his perspective, Xvim never had Zorian as a student before.
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Xvim eventually calls out Zorian on how incredibly good he's gotten at mana shaping for his age, and Zorian tells him about the time loop.
It's then revealed that Xvim's endless asshole behaviour was simply because he usually puts his new students through a sort of "hell week" to test their dedication and willpower. Of course, because of the loop, that's all Zorian ever experienced :D
 
Clarification on Youthful Fist of the Mythological Beast That is Really Strong and Tough: Akane's sheet states that she adds to her taijutsu 3*Min(YF level, her strength - enemy stam, her stam - enemy strength).

I was working under the assumption that it was instead adding the minimum of her YF level or 3*Min(Stam-Str, Str-Stam).

Which is correct?
 
TalonofAnathrax said:
Xvim eventually calls out Zorian on how incredibly good he's gotten at mana shaping for his age, and Zorian tells him about the time loop.
It's then revealed that Xvim's endless asshole behaviour was simply because he usually puts his new students through a sort of "hell week" to test their dedication and willpower. Of course, because of the loop, that's all Zorian ever experienced :D
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Which still makes him an ass, but a least an understandable one. Xvim actually became one of my favorite characters in the story once we got to see him get out from behind the desk and actually do some things.
 
I will endorse @Inferno Vulpix's review and add that Mother of Learning has a strong lategame. As a long story progresses, if it changes too little, it just repeats itself and is boring (e.g. THE TECHNO QUEEN or, to a lesser extent, The Seventh Horcrux). If it changes too much, you lose everything you liked about the original and tend to break with things you established earlier (e.g. Worm, Naruto). Some stories (Fallout: Equestria comes to mind) manage both of simultaneously by rehashing the same things at unrealistically larger scales.

Anyway, you're all familiar with the Star Wars pacing curve? (If not.) While I endorse @eaglejarl's criticism of the meandering nature of the first third-or-so of the story (which also contains more than a little worldbuilding, which is why I didn't mind), the latter portion has really excellent pacing that maintains continuity with the initial portion while changing things enough to be new and exciting and have character development and everything.

Also, @Kiba @TalonofAnathrax: any chance we could spoiler the spoilers? While it's clear there's a reveal of some nature there, it's not obvious what exactly the reveal was going to be.
 
redzonejoe said:
Mother of learning is my favorite updating work of fiction. 10/10. And that is all I'm going to say on the subject.
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Any others to recommend? I'm probably at a disadvantage to enjoying it - I've read so much skilled work that my baselines are rather high.

Also, everyone, I have an urgent project and a desperate need for sleep, so I'll be trying to stay offline for the next week and a bit. Bye all.
 
Cariyaga said:
Maybe she took the initiative and already cornered the market on ice production, putting Snow out of business and triggering a global war of her own?
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She does need to catch up to the rest of you in that department, for sure.

Cariyaga said:
Clarification on Youthful Fist of the Mythological Beast That is Really Strong and Tough: Akane's sheet states that she adds to her taijutsu 3*Min(YF level, her strength - enemy stam, her stam - enemy strength).

I was working under the assumption that it was instead adding the minimum of her YF level or 3*Min(Stam-Str, Str-Stam).

Which is correct?
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eaglejarl said:
Pretty sure it should be that second one, but I'll check.
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Huh, I was pretty sure it was the first one, which is probably why I put it on the sheet (at least I assume that was me).
 
@faflec Can you give us the history of Youthful Fist of the Mythological Beast That is Really Strong and Tough?

e: Wait nevermind sorry for pinging you forgot that her sheet links to it. Here it is; it appears that it was originally the first but was changed to the second.
 
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HoratioVonBecker said:
Any others to recommend? I'm probably at a disadvantage to enjoying it - I've read so much skilled work that my baselines are rather high.

Also, everyone, I have an urgent project and a desperate need for sleep, so I'll be trying to stay offline for the next week and a bit. Bye all.
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So what I'm hearing is that i have a week to look for things you might like. :p

Well I'm just gonna give you a couple titles now off of the top of my head. I hate homework.

So in the genre of 'time loops' there's Purple Days, a SoIaF time loop centered on Joffrey and focused on his progression as a character. Currently the story has spent a lot of time in the wannabe China part of the world, which has a lot of people complaining, but i find the story to be interesting regardless. Can be found on SB.

Honorable mention to Time Braid, a Naruto time loop centered on Sakura. Most notable for being a response to the utterly shitty chunin exam day, and saving the genre after lionheart tried to ruin it. Nsfw and deals with mature themes, not for everyone. Can be found on FF.

There's a few HP time loops as well, but none of them really come to mind as particularly worth mentioning. Maybe 'getting the hang of thursdays'? Though it's generally pretty unpopular, i liked it. Dunno where to find this, exactly. Try google.

Since you're here reading a rational story, I'm going to assume you know about HPMoR. It has mixed reception.

One of favorite rational stories would be r Animorphs: The Reckoning. Absolutely brilliant story, with lively and highly intelligent characters. Basically a rational rewrite of the Animorphs series. FF.

On the topic of rational rewrites, Luminosity is a rational rewrite of twilight. Manages to turn a shit romance series into a respectable and rather engaging story. Has it's own website, use google.

A Cloudy Path is just a pretty decent story here on SV and also on SB. Worm/Supreme Commander.

Stuff that Ryuugi writes over on SB is usually pretty good, most notably his Rwby/The Gamer story, The Games We Play, which basically veers off into its own original story after a while.

Regarding quests, I very much like almost anything written by Academia Nut, starting with Age of Strife as a dead but highly popular quest, and Civilization as his current ongoing project.

Just for fun, here's a couple non-fanfiction works you might not have heard of. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud, and the Belgariad series by David Eddings.

Oh, and here's a couple nsfw recs too!

The Preacher Man over on Literotica

Heaven and Hell on QQ

Now to rate this shotgun spread of recommendations from most highly recommended to niche

1- r Animorphs: The Reckoning.
2- Luminosity
3- A Cloudy Path
4- Time Braid
5- Purple Days
6- The Games We Play
7- HPMoR
8- The other stuff.
 
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faflec said:
@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail Did we ever get Pangolin's Reach specs, and is it possible for us to retroactively put points into it once we do?
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And team training with it? I mean, if it's invisible like Zephyr's Reach is (when used with handseals), it'd be a killer combat technique. Place it in front of someone's legs as they move and break their knees, push an ally out of the way, push an enemy into the way... its uses are endless.

As an aside, I feel really bad that we forgot to ask about Hazou's mom (and the state of Mist-Leaf war).
 
Cariyaga said:
As an aside, I feel really bad that we forgot to ask about Hazou's mom (and the state of Mist-Leaf war).
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The Mist-Leaf war is done. Mist has (at best) one S-class ninja compared to Leaf's...3? I dunno if Tsunade counts. Assuming a similar number of other ninjas having multiple additional S-classes tilts the war heavily in favor, and that's ignoring Skywalkers.

Leaf offering to not fight Mist is a godsend for both sides, since Mist declaring war means they'll lose badly, and Leaf entering a war also means they lose Naruto and be weakened (relatively) compared to Sand/Cloud/Rock which they don't want. So assuming Mist doesn't have allies in Rock/Sand (unlikely?) all Leaf has to do is extend the olive branch and they're cool. More or less.

Also, our mother's dead. She was part of the fighting force sent to kidnap Naruto, since she's reaching towards that "liability" state and Yagura decided to send her in before she tipped forward.
 
faflec said:
Also, our mother's dead. She was part of the fighting force sent to kidnap Naruto, since she's reaching towards that "liability" state and Yagura decided to send her in before she tipped forward.
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Are you kidding? Why on earth would Yagura bring an alcoholic nin of obscure loyalties on a mission with him?
 
faflec said:
Also, our mother's dead. She was part of the fighting force sent to kidnap Naruto, since she's reaching towards that "liability" state and Yagura decided to send her in before she tipped forward.
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Are you speculating this, or do you have a source? Because if I was the Mizukage I wouldn't take someone I thought was a possible traitor on a mission where there would be a high chance of her making a break for it (and having a good chance of success given a goddamn Jinchuuriki is involved) or outright betraying me mid-battle.
 
Cariyaga said:
Are you kidding? Why on earth would Yagura bring an alcoholic nin of obscure loyalties on a mission with him?
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  • Former alcoholic, she stopped drinking months ago.
  • Obscure loyalties? Even if her loyalties are to her son it wouldn't make her turn on Yagura because nobody knows we're in Leaf yet.
Enjou said:
Are you speculating this, or do you have a source? Because if I was the Mizukage I wouldn't take someone I thought was a possible traitor on a mission where there would be a high chance of her making a break for it (and having a good chance of success given a goddamn Jinchuuriki is involved) or outright betraying me mid-battle.
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Yes.
 
faflec said:
  • Former alcoholic, she stopped drinking months ago.
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She stopped drinking immediately after she got news her son was alive. (And I'm not even going to entertain the thought that they didn't notice that)

faflec said:
  • Obscure loyalties? Even if her loyalties are to her son it wouldn't make her turn on Yagura because nobody knows we're in Leaf yet.
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Definitely obscure loyalties. See above: Also, she has literally no connections to Mist any more. Her son's gone, her clan disowned her for her husband who died on a mission.
 
Cariyaga said:
Definitely obscure loyalties. See above: Also, she has literally no connections to Mist any more. Her son's gone, her clan disowned her for her husband who died on a mission.
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Ok, let me change my sentence.

I believe our mother has been dead since before the Mist-Leaf S-rank skirmish as Yagura would have a) sent her on a suicide mission to keep her from turning traitor or b) sent her on a mission and quietly had her assassinated to keep her from turning traitor.
 
Cariyaga said:
Definitely obscure loyalties. See above: Also, she has literally no connections to Mist any more. Her son's gone, her clan disowned her for her husband who died on a mission.
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If that's true she probably got put into a shallow grave months ago.

So she's either dead already or trusted. If she's trusted she probably got sent on the mission do to limited jounin
 
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faflec said:
Ok, let me change my sentence.

I believe our mother has been dead since before the Mist-Leaf S-rank skirmish as Yagura would have a) sent her on a suicide mission to keep her from turning traitor or b) sent her on a mission and quietly had her assassinated to keep her from turning traitor.
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Every individual jounin is a significant fraction of a nation's power. It's certainly possible that she was sent on a suicide mission, but it would not be as easy a decision as you make it out to be, especially so immediately after losing multiple jounin to Hidden Swamp.
 
Cariyaga said:
Every individual jounin is a significant fraction of a nation's power. It's certainly possible that she was sent on a suicide mission, but it would not be as easy a decision as you make it out to be, especially so immediately after losing multiple jounin to Hidden Swamp.
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She's not trusted which means she has to be removed as a threat.

This means killing her (and not having the benefit of utilizing a Jonin) or benching her (and not having the benefit of utilizing a Jonin AND having to dedicate resources to keeping her watched).

Teaching jobs aren't trustworthy because nobody sane would put a potential traitor in charge of teaching the next generation. Same with administrative jobs, those are for trustworthy people. Menial labor? Yeah, she's gonna bolt quickly, that's too obviously noticed. Delivery service, escort missions, and the like? Same risk as a suicide mission, only worse because there's no chance she'll be removed as a liability.
 
redzonejoe said:
Honorable mention to Time Braid, a Naruto time loop centered on Sakura. Most notable for being a response to the utterly shitty chunin exam day, and saving the genre after lionheart tried to ruin it. Can be found on FF.
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Look up trigger warnings for this. It's definitely not for everyone. I disliked it and dropped it for reasons I can't go into without spoilers.
 
Rather than thinking that she's dead, I am going to assume Hazō's mommy is dead. No use getting our hope up. Rather have Hazō leap for joy.
 
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