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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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It's only two chapters in but I feel the need to plug this fanfic Sasuke Uchiha and the Power of Lies. It has a very unreliable narrator.
Emerald Ashes said:
I walked down the road with my team.

This was a surprisingly difficult task. If I walked too close to Naruto, he would take it as a sign of aggression and attack. If I walked too close to Sakura, she would take it as a sign of affection and attack. Kakashi could kill me in a single blow, so I didn't want to be too close to him, either.
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An incredibly unreliable narrator.
 
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I prefer 'Frozen Storm' for Keiko, ominous, huge, and still. Something that just floats there, just beyond your comprehension, until it strikes.
 
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[X] Action Plan: Make Like a Three and Leaf Through It REVISED

- Same thing as original plan, except that we don't skim the book Nara graciously loaned us with the hope we will take it seriously, and give it our full attention at a pace sustainable with our schedule. This addendum is null and void if we actually do have to give it back before we leave Konoha and it is too big to comprehensively get through before then, in which case we just read as much as we can (while still understanding it) before that deadline.

~~~~~~

The original plan looks good. I've been dying to have this conversation. I am, however, very against skimming this book. Shikamaru explicitly said that it is a book that rewards heavy investment and isn't very well served to reading here and there, and his loaning of it to us is a holy shit indicator of how much he likes us right now. We are going to give his recommendation and loaning the utmost respect, reading through it completely and giving it back in the same condition.

Do we know how long the borrow period is supposed to be? I got the impression we would give it back to him next time we were here, as it seems like a long book and he had just mentioned that it rewarded consistent investment.

Also, why are people so paranoid about memorizing it? We don't need that. What I want the most out of this book is Lore Updates that are excerpts of it, giving the QMs an excuse to give us some of the huge amounts of world-building they've been sitting on. It's not like we will ever forget the stuff we get from those info-dumps, and it is a waste to go to the extreme lengths to memorize it.
 
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ChronOblivion said:
It's not like we will ever forget the stuff we get from those info-dumps, and it is a waste to go to the extreme lengths to memorize it.
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The QMs aren't going to post the whole darn book. If we need to ask a question later that Hazou's reading might have covered, and we memorized the book, we can say "Have Hazou run through [book] again. Does it answer [question that the lore update didn't cover]?", else they are perfectly justified to just say "you don't know".

You also might wanna say what we do instead of just not skimming. Do we start reading in depth, or not read at all, or..?
 
Jello_Raptor said:
I prefer 'Frozen Storm' for Keiko, ominous, huge, and still. Something that just floats there, just beyond your comprehension, until it strikes.
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"Keiko, I would like to propose an alias for you, which you could use as a callsign and also to build yourself a reputation in the shinobi world."

"Go on, Hazō."

"Frozen Storm."

"Hmm." Keiko did not seem displeased. "It is not wholly without merit. What is your rationale?"

"Well, when I thought of you, the first thing that came to mind was how ominous, huge, and still you were."

"Is. That. So."

"Yes, you just float there, just beyond anyone's comprehension-"

There was a blur of motion.

"What happened? Where am I? Inoue-sensei, why are you carrying me?"

"Quiet, fool. I'm saving your life."
 
OliWhail said:
The QMs aren't going to post the whole darn book. If we need to ask a question later that Hazou's reading might have covered, and we memorized the book, we can say "Have Hazou run through [book] again. Does it answer [question that the lore update didn't cover]?", else they are perfectly justified to just say "you don't know".

You also might wanna say what we do instead of just not skimming. Do we start reading in depth, or not read at all, or..?
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Alright, to be real here, if Hazou read a history book, and we asked a question about a fact that was in the history book, it would be a huuuge kick to the nuts for them to turn around and say "Hazou doesn't know, geez, you really should've memorized the history book". I seriously do not expect any specific fact to be simultaneously unmentioned in whatever info-dumps excerpts they provide, and actually important enough to make an actual difference to us, and hidden behind the hand-waving "Hazou doesn't remember that particular part", which would be impossible to anticipate ahead of time and requires full memorization to block. And besides, we know that even if Hazou can trace every letter, flaunting our bloodline ever more, ot doesn't mean he mentally retains all of the information.

And good point, I clarified in an edit. I think skimming this book is a big diplomatic mistake, and risks offending or disappointing Nara. I hope you guys agree with me and pull the vote around fast enough.
 
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[X] Action Plan: Make Like a Three and Leaf Through It REVISED
[X] Training Noburi: Sneaky Medic v2
[X] Training Hazou: Sneaky MEW
 
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FWIW, my intention was not that we never pick up Elemental Nations again! Just that it's a big bulky book that Nara said to spend a lot of time on, and I'm assuming one scene ~ a few hours, which for me is not enough time to read a dense text on a new subject and understand everything.

Reading key chapters and skimming the rest seemed like a good way to get some useful information + nice fluff in the current update, and get some idea of how to read it strategically if we do only have a few more days. Which is important to do rather than reading straight through if, say, chapter 49 is So You Want To Found A New Hidden Village. :p

It's not clear to me that Hazou will know when we're leaving Konoha or when the book is due by the end of this update.
 
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Langevin said:
FWIW, my intention was not that we never pick up Elemental Nations again! Just that it's a big bulky book that Nara said to spend a lot of time on, and I'm assuming one scene ~ a few hours, which for me is not enough time to read a dense text on a new subject and understand everything.

Reading key chapters and skimming the rest seemed like a good way to get some useful information + nice fluff in the current update, and get some idea of how to read it strategically if we do only have a few more days. Which is important to do rather than reading straight through if, say, chapter 49 is So You Want To Found A New Hidden Village. :p

It's not clear to me that Hazou will know when we're leaving Konoha or when the book is due by the end of this update.
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Oh, I know. I just figured it was a fair point raised from a diplomatic standpoint that we read the book thoroughly for Shikamaru's sake.
 
Updated original plan to explicitly say we intend to read it in full if we have time, and to use our skimming to guide us in reading strategically if we don't.

[X] Action Plan: Make Like a Three and Leaf Through It
Edits noted in bold.

General Goals
  1. Survive
  2. Keep Team Uplift safe/sane/consensual free
  3. Good relations with Jiraiya / Leaf command structure
  4. Good relations with Leaf in general; no disruptive incidents, feuds w/ clans, etc.
  5. Make our health + freedom (more) valuable to Leaf higher-ups
  6. Keep Team Uplift happy
  7. Good relations with minders

Actions:
  1. Book stuff as per last plan
  2. Secure team meeting about sensitive issues (Hana, Kabuto) as per last plan
    • As a clarification- I'd like to broach the topic of letting Kabuto watch us practice jutsu he teaches us, with appropriate anti-coercion protocols like clearing any test with the team the day before. (Steal This Plan doesn't make it clear whether this is included.)
      • Because he's powerful and important (Leaf head medic, sits in on key interrogations, Inoue-level deception), and holds power over Akane, and we want to get on his good side and incentivize him to keep us alive, and in Konoha at least some of the time
      • And because he probably knows some pretty good jutsu, and those will make us more useful to Jiraiya / Leaf in general
      • And because he's a devious + skillful enough guy, and we've been revealing enough of our techniques, that Leaf probably has a lot of the combat-relevant bloodline information anyway
  3. Read Elemental Nations Volume 1, paying particular attention to sections that describe its overall philosophy of history (driving forces, factors that make a nation strong or weak) and that relate to missing-nin, and skimming the rest. Edit: With the intention of reading it in-depth later if/when we have time.
    • Because it was thoughtful of Nara to lend it, and we might not get to keep it for long
    • Edit: and getting a sense of the overall structure and topics covered will help us a) understand it better when we read it in depth and b) prioritize if we don't have enough time to read it in full before returning it
    • And understanding the world better will help us deal with locals better on missions, and improve our long-term plans for world domination optimization improvement.
    • Might also help us understand Leaf leadership's point of view, and how we can be more useful to them
Contingencies (stolen from Steal This Plan):
  1. Default to CCnJ for any nontrivial interpersonal interactions (discussing the ramifications of our prank with Ino, bringing up our romantic difficulties to Mari, suggesting we sell copies of the macerator, asking to borrow Nara's book...) if there appears to be a misunderstanding or we're making people upset
  2. Don't piss off Leaf
    1. Be polite to everyone we meet
    2. Listen to our handlers and follow their (reasonable) instructions to the letter
  3. However, CONSTANT VIGILANCE around any Leaf nin who are not Akane, Jiraiya, Team Asuma, Gai, or Lee.
  4. Try to minimize Kagome's stress level by not making him talk too much / interact with non-teammates if he doesn't feel like it, keeping close-by, encouraging him to eat any of the nice food we get that have already been checked for poison, esp. sweets and chocolate.
  5. Safety and Security Rules
    1. Default to not splitting the party
    2. Keep a watch in our room even at night
    3. Make sure we all have whatever the local equivalent of white flags are
    4. When in public, try to stick to areas with a reasonable number of civilians and other ninja
  6. Combat contingencies
    1. White tactics by default
    2. Use any panic buttons Jiraiya has given us (none yet, sounds like)
    3. Try to leave the city or converge on Jiraiya's office to turn ourselves in. Make sure we're doing the equivalent of waving white flags.
    4. If we aren't able to immediately disengage, end the update for combat planning.
  7. Assume we are being spied on at pretty much all times by multiple parties
    1. Our desire to arrange our mom's extraction from Mist, and our concerns about how that could impact the rest of the group.
      1. Does Inoue-sensei think this is even a feasible thing to ask with a favor, or stacked favors, given Hana's large motivation to defect to work for J specifically and the additional utility she provides to our team in the form of jounin combat strength and decades of experience?
      2. Ask if there is anyone else we would need to extract at the same, and whether we should avoid doing so at all to avoid putting Inoue-senei's family at risk.
        1. Any Wakahisa or Mori clan members would be more difficult to extract but also less likely to provoke huge reprisals from Yagura.
      3. Mom would be a valuable resource, but also an addition to the team - are others okay with that idea?
  9. If the topic of why Fire isn't a model for what Hazou wants to acheive comes up again, consider drawing from
    When you asked why Fire wasn't a utopia, I was confused because you had practically just said the answer yourself: none of the major players can trust each other, because each of them consider only their own people to have any moral weight. And that is what you said, that you would sleep well after killing a foreign citizen to save a Leaf one. Not that you would consider it a necessary tragedy to protect the people you care about, and not that you would devote so much as a second of thought toward avoiding having to make that choice again in the future, and you said all your counterparts in other villages feel the same way.

    When the whole world does that, then everyone looks like monsters to everyone else. At that point, it's even easier to say all foreigners are morally irrelevant, trapping the entire world in a spiral of indifference and hatred, so we get the current state of the world even from initial conditions where everyone cares about people outside their clan or their village just slightly too little. And at that point, it becomes impossible to trust one another to do things like build utopias, since all that power looks like a threat.

    Which gives us the answer to your original question: the reason Fire isn't a utopia is that even though it's strong, it's not as strong as everyone else all at once, and if you withdraw resources from maintaining your current military dominance to focus on things like civilian wellbeing, other nations will see that apparent weakness as an opportunity to help their people by hurting yours, who as we've established they don't care about. Boom, the next shinobi war. And if you did anything with your vast resources that would put you on a clear trajectory to become strong enough to fight them all off at once, like letting civilians live well enough to lead to significant population growth, the entire world will throw everything they had at you, even though they'd be eviscerated afterwards and have an even harder time stalling civilization's collapse.

    They'd do it even if you weren't being hostile, like the world did to Whirlpool. It's probably pretty easy to see from the reversed perspective - if Mist suddenly became insanely good at sealcrafting, and started using it to protect their civilians and grow more food and help all their citizens live comfortably, would you be glad your neighbors were growing happy and prosperous? Or would you see the impending population boom as a threat to be sabotaged and undermined? And if you find a low-risk method that sabotages your enemies' future strength without going to war, well, how could you not take it, even if it's morally horrific and accelerating the gradual downfall of the human race.

    You can't build up because you would get smacked down. You can't truly work with other nations to break out of the downward spiral because you won't be trusted and won't trust them, since you both know that trust would be exploited. So Leaf ends up having to contribute to the status quo, even if you guys are better about humanizing the enemy than others, according to Akane. But it isn't working, and something has to change, or everything is going to crumble into dust, and everyone is going to die - including Leaf. So, again, will you help us?
    1. Part of that is why we need him on board - preventing wars from breaking out while the fixing is happening, and then figuring out a way to change the incentives that result in things like distrust and scorch squads. Make it so that "cooperate" becomes the winning option even in the non-iterated case of this prisoners' dilemma. (Massively improve agriculture per area to allow consolidation of civilian population? Set up a neurtral third party to arbitrate disputes and hand out the uplift tech on the basis of good behavior?) That, or make Leaf so strong so fast that everyone's best option is to give up, but even then people won't actually be reasonable since they're scared and angry and distrustful. Even if there were a jutsu to magically restore everyone's view of each other as people deserving moral consideration, it wouldn't be anything like a permanent solution, because the cycle would start all over again.
    2. Also, compared to slowly dying villages in the wilderness, and to some extent compared even to Kirigakure, Leaf is fairly utopian already.
  10. Current plan for talking about rewards with Jiraiya, in case he calls us in
    1. Most of these rewards are centered around making us stronger and better assets, so it's against Jiraya's interests to be stingy here
    2. Check if he is okay with us discussing fairly frankly some admitted longshots first; if not, skip this section.
      1. Kurosawa Hana
        1. Getting her out of Kiri
          1. Jounin taijutsu expert with huge reasons to defect to work for him specifically, and would cause Team Uplift to be stronger, safer, saner, enormously grateful, and probably more stable due to her greater experience and mediating influence.
          2. If this is gonna start the Fourth Jashin-damned Shinobi War, obviously not worth it, and is obviously a huge ask in terms of difficulty and risk, but is this a thing we that is even on the table as far as favors, or even accumulated favors?
        2. If not getting her out, how feasible is an attempt to get a message to her, even just "your son is alive and loves you"? In addition to or barring that, could we get information on what she is up to and what her position is in Mist?
      2. Does any kind of pass to cross Fire borders come packaged with Akane's reinstatement and our continued loyalty?
        1. We recognize that this is unlikely due to the need to maintain deniability, but Akane is much less of a carrot if we can't come to see her (if she does not stick with us) / will need to be able to access Leaf resources and her friends and family if she does stick with us.
        2. If J gets smug / team gives us shit for saying we're loyal to Leaf/J, maintain that since we are loyal to Akane who is presumably loyal to Leaf, we are at least second-order loyal to them, and in any case they appear to represent the best chance at fixing things.
        3. If J asks why we're now uncertain whether she'll stick with us, maintain that we are simply planning for all possibilities and that the choice remains hers.
    3. Check if he is okay with us discussing some generalities of less-longshot options before asking for a specific thing
      1. Seal designs: are these even on the table? Would he be willing to give us either an array of low-to-medium level utility seals that he thinks would contribute most to our effectiveness, or to do a deeper dive into e.g. storage seals and the extremes of what they can be used for?
        1. Examples of utility seals ordered by preference
          1. Communication range, especially surreptitiously
          2. Night vision or other sensory enhancements
          3. Advanced alarm seals
          4. Sound muffling seals / other stealth enhancements
          5. Self Contained Breathing Apparatus
            1. Something that lets us breath when there is no clean, breathable air around
          6. Eye, ear and environmental protection
            1. Protection against bright lights and noise
            2. Protection against extreme temperatures
            3. Protection against gas or liquid toxicants that only require skin contact
      2. Jutsu: he said he would get us a teacher at the end of our interactions with him in Yuni - if that no longer holds, how much is he willing to teach us now (e.g. # of techniques at particular ranks - describe the jutsu plan quoted below if prompted)
      3. Can we safely assume we will be given / at least have the chance to buy new ninja gear and essentials, what with our old stuff being potentially biosealer-contaminated?
        1. An up-to-date bingo book or comparable intel would also be really nice but we're not about to spend a favor on it.
      4. Technique Hacking
        1. Is it something we could learn from a favor?
        2. Jiraya's analysis on its usefulness for a team like ours
    4. Are there missions he has planned for us that he can tell us about before we make our decision?
    5. The update should then end for a vote on our reward

    The winning plan from the jutsu vote:
    [X] Jutsu Hazou: Whack-a-Mole Madness

    Follow Whack-A-Mole, but prioritize Tremor Sense over Nintaijutsu.
    [X] Jutsu Hazou: Whack-A-Mole
    "Now that you asked, I do have a short list..."

    This is Hazou's jutsu preference list assuming that the winning action plan has him acquire a new jutsu.

    In general, Hazou doesn't have the time the get too invested in one jutsu. He would prefer jutsu that use his general attributes instead of deep jutsu mastery to make use of the techniques. (Attribute requirements > Dice needed for usefulness)

    List of Earth Jutsu Hazou wants ranked in order of preference.

    Primary requirements are what we want the jutsu to have at minimum. If those requirements are not met, move to the next jutsu on the list.

    Hazou also doesn't have that much chakra, so prioritize chakra efficiency over the secondary and especially over tertiary requirements. We trust J's judgement in this.

    1. Earth Nintaijutsu
      • Primary requirements
        • Doesn't hinder mobility
        • Provides high damage resistance or enhanced mobility or speed
      • Secondary requirements
        • Lets us punch dangerous surfaces (Lava, acid, metal spikes, horrors beyond the realm of man etc.)
        • Adds to Taijutsu dice even with specialized taijutsu styles (No, we totally don't have one. Stop smirking.)
    2. Tunneling jutsu
      • Primary requirements
        • Fast, combat useful movement underground
      • Secondary requirements
        • Ability to leave the tunnels open
        • Ability to vary the the size of the tunnel created
      • Tertiary requirements
        • Long distance travel without absolutely insane chakra cost
        • Ability to detect what is going on in the surface
        • Provides protection from suffocation for extended periods of time
    3. Tremor Sense no Jutsu
      • Primary requirements
        • Ranged detection without line of sight
        • Usable while fighting, so no active channeling required at least for close range detection
      • Secondary requirements
        • Enables us to read opponent movement in melee combat with zero vision
      • Tertiary requirements
        • No handseals at level reachable for Hazou
        • Heart and respiratory detection for social awareness
    4. Skidmark no Jutsu
      • Decription: A jutsu that moves a patch (or patches) of ground around very quickly; used for moving ninjas and objects around the battefield
      • Primary requirements
        • The batch of ground doesn't have to be right next to the caster at start
        • Ability to move at least a ninjas worth of mass on top of the patch
      • Secondary requirements
        • We can change the size of the patch of ground
        • The moving patch of ground is stealthy and non-obvious
 
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Note to self: be more risk-averse when writing plans. (Unless it would be really funny, or I ship it.)

Also, get some sleep, you dummies. I can see those Discord logs!
 
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Voting is closed.

CounterBot, version 1.5


Plan name: Make Like a Three and Leaf Through It
Voters: @Cariyaga, @Chronocide, @Dictator4Hire, @Langevin, @OliWhail
Num votes: 5

Plan name: Make Like a Three and Leaf Through It REVISED
Voters: @Cariyaga, @ChronOblivion, @Killer_Whale, @Skelm, @thamuzz
Num votes: 5

Plan name: Encoding Plan: Mouthing
Voters: @Chronocide, @Jello_Raptor, @Radvic
Num votes: 3

Plan name: All I want for Christmas is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKS
Voters: @Chronocide, @Dictator4Hire
Num votes: 2

Plan name: Encoding Plan: Simple phonetic encoding
Voters: @OliWhail, @Radvic
Num votes: 2

Plan name: Lore Update
Voters: @Jello_Raptor, @Langevin
Num votes: 2

Plan name: Training Hazou: Sneaky MEW
Voters: @faflec, @thamuzz
Num votes: 2

Plan name: Training Noburi: Sneaky Medic v2
Voters: @faflec, @thamuzz
Num votes: 2

Plan name: Encoding Plan: None
Voters: @Seventeen
Num votes: 1

Plan name: Plan Plan: Shorter Plans
Voters: @OliWhail
Num votes: 1

Plan name: Training Hazou: Sneaky Earth v2
Voters: @faflec
Num votes: 1

Plan name: Training Keiko: Sneaky Wind v2
Voters: @faflec
Num votes: 1


Number of voters: 13
 
*drumroll*

WILL HAZOU READ THE BOOK STRAIGHT THROUGH? OR WILL HE SKIM IT FIRST AND READ STRATEGICALLY?

FIND OUT IN THE THRILLING NEXT EPISODE OF M. F. D.!
 
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