Mabel and Soos visit a mysterious toy shop, on the trail of a missing Dipper and Wendy.
Mabel vs The Toymaker: Gravity Falls/Doctor Who
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Mabel vs The Toymaker
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AN: I wrote this about a year ago, but I'm still fairly happy with it, so I thought, hey, why not share it here?
Mabel stood in front of the small toy store in the Gravity Falls Mall, her face set in an uncharacteristic determined frown.
It wasn't really that much to look at. It was a faux-retro structure, the facade make of dyed red teak, with a black sign above it that read 'The Toyroom Toys and Gifts.' There were puppets and dolls displayed in the window next to the big wooden door, each of them painted and dressed in bright colourful costumes - clowns, jesters, harlequins, all garish in tone.
Soos swallowed as they approached the shop, gazing at the window. He looked closely at a doll with brown skin and messy hair, wearing a purple-and-white clown suit with a big red nose.
"You sure they're here, dood?" he asked.
"The mysterious toy store that appeared overnight?" replied Mabel. "Of course Dipper would've come here. He couldn't pass up a mystery like that!"
"Oh, okay." Soos tugged on his collar. "But shouldn't we get Stan and Ford before we go in?"
"I left a note on the table," replied Mabel. "If anything awful happens to us, they'll come to the rescue!"
"Oh." Soos gulped. "Good."
Mabel pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The store was dark, eerily lit by old electric lights that left long shadows over the creaking wooden floorboards. There were rows and rows of toys on shelves to the left and right, hidden by the darkness, but the middle of the shop was clear like a gangway, leading to the black oak counter. Behind this were more puppets, hung on hooks liked hanged men, and a few dusty old board games on small shelves below. There was nobody at the counter, but an old bell stood by the equally ancient-looking cash register.
Mabel and Soos walked to the counter, the floors squeaking and groaning under their weight. Without hesitation, Mabel began pressing the button on the bell – the dinging echoed.
"Heh, guess nobody's home," said Soos. "We should–"
He turned around.
"Wilkommen to mein shop."
Soos jumped and screamed. A man had appeared behind him – he wore a cowboy's outfit, a clearly plastic badge on his white buttoned shirt and a big black hat framing his forehead. He seemed an older gentlemen, grey-haired and somewhat weathered, but the wide smile seemed almost childish. Were it not for the strange glimmer in his blue eyes, he'd almost seem like an ordinary, if eccentric, shopkeeper.
"Oh! Sorry dude, you crept up on me!" Soos rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, we're just here to…"
"Cut the act!" snapped Mabel, pointing accusingly at the shopkeeper. "Where's Dipper? What did you do to him?"
The man's brows shot up.
"Dipper?" He rubbed his chin. "Do we have ein Dipper? Let me think…"
He walked behind the counter, kneeling down to look beneath it.
"I think I saw the Dipper," he said. "Would he have been with the red-haired girl? Green flannel, freckles?"
"Yeah," replied Mabel, crossing her arms. "Where are they?"
"Let me see… that would be filed under das 'Pine Tree," mused the man. "Und das ice bag…"
Mabel smacked her hands on the counter.
"Where are they?" she demanded again.
"Now really, there's a lot under here," replied the shopkeeper. "I need a little time to… aha!"
He stood up, his hands cupped together.
"Now, you is looking for the Dipper, ja?" he said. "Und the Wendy?"
"Yeah!" snapped Mabel. "Where are they?"
"Uh… dood," Soos put a hand on Mabel's shoulder. "We never told him Wendy's name."
"Here ist das Dipper…" The man placed a small object on the counter. "...und das Wendy." He placed another next to it.
Mabel took up the objects with trembling hands. One was a wooden figurine teenage boy, wearing a vest, orange shirt and shorts, and clad in a familiar blue and white hat, smiling fairly neutrally up at her. The other was a teenage girl with long red hair, a trapper hat, a green flannel shirt and jeans, again with an easy smile. Their features were printed on the front and back of the flat figures, with the sides an unpainted wood colour. They were like little figures from an old wooden train set.
"What did you do to them?!" Mabel exclaimed, horrified.
"Ah, you see, little Dipper wanted to see what the 'mystery' of this little shop was," replied the man, "so he dragged his little girlfriend here to snoop around, see what they could see. Und that's when they found me, and all of my toys, and Dipper, he was so confident, he wanted me to let them go. So I told him I would play a game with him. If he won, I'd give him all my toys. But if I won…"
He grinned, and Mabel noticed he seemed to have far too many teeth. A single golden tooth shimmered in the left side of his mouth.
"Ah, but I did win," he continued. "And now we both have what we wanted, ja? Dipper und Wendy get to know the mystery of the toy shop, forever und ever, and I get some more new toys to have fun with."
"But why?" asked Mabel. "Why make them this? Who are you?"
The man took the wooden Dipper and Wendy out of Mabel's hands, placing them on the table.
"I am the Toymaker," he replied, his accent slipping from a faux German to a deep British.
"Yeah, kinda guess that, dood," said Soos, looking around. "I mean I guess it's a hobby."
"Soos!"
"What? You gotta hand it to him, there's some pretty neat stuff in here," Soos shrugged.
Mabel narrowed her eyes.
"Yeah, sorry, I deserve that." Soos looked at his feet.
Mabel turned back to the Toymaker, reaching for the wooden figures.
"Ah-ah-ah!" the Toymaker raised his hand. "You cannot be having my toys. That is theft! Scandalous!"
"They're not yours!" shouted Mabel.
"But they are," replied the Toymaker. "I won them, fair und square! If you want them back, you must be winning the game yourself."
Mabel and Soos exchanged glances.
"Soos," she said, "go tell Grunkle Stan what's happening."
"On it!" Soos saluted and headed for the door. He reached it, pushed on it - and slammed into it as it failed to move.
"Aw man, I always do that…"
He tried pulling, but to no avail.
"Ah, I'm sorry," said the Toymaker. "No leaving until the game is complete."
Mabel furrowed her brow.
"Fine," she said. "I'll play your game. I mean, I don't really have a choice…"
The Toymaker leaned in.
"Well then," he said, and the store shifted around them. Suddenly, the counter was a table, and Mabel was swept onto a chair across from the Toymaker. She heard a yelp, and Soos was pushed into place next to them.
The Toymaker narrowed his eyes.
"What shall we play?"
He leaned back, producing a deck of cards which he began to shuffle.
"I have been busy since I found your brother, you know," he said, his accent becoming British again. "Your town has been an interesting little distraction from my… current game. So much more colourful than that joyless Doctor…"
He flipped through the cards impossibly quickly.
"I beat the Time Baby in a game of snap," he said, "and made him into so many marbles. I trapped the unicorns in slide-puzzles, and exiled the Shapeshifter to the Baltic Avenue space - though I prefer Coventry Street myself. I made Blendin Blandin my Joker card…"
He held up the Joker, revealing a picture of the time traveller on the front. He tossed it away contemptuously.
"Bill Cipher played for his freedom," he continued. "He lost. I made him a talking board."
"Bill?" Mabel's eyes widened. "But how?"
"I still wait for the main game," said the Toymaker, ignoring Mabel's response. "The final contest against the Doctor. But I do enjoy a few extra games on the side."
"Who's the Doctor?" asked Soos.
"I don't get it," said Mabel. "Dipper and Wendy only disappeared last night. How'd you get the time to play against all those other people?"
"You really think I would be so boring as to obey the rules of linear time?" sniffed the Toymaker.
Mabel stared at the Dipper and Wendy figures.
"So they could've actually been here for…"
"We have spoken enough!" The Toymaker's German accent briefly returned. "Now… what shall we play, Mabel Pines?"
"How do we know you won't cheat?" asked Mabel.
The Toymaker's eyes widened.
"Never!" he exclaimed. "Outrageous! For shame! I must abide by the rules of the game! To do otherwise would be unthinkable!"
Mabel and Soos exchanged glances.
"Go fish," declared Mabel. "We'll play that."
"Sehr gut!" The German accent was back again as he dealt the cards - seven for him, seven for Mabel. He shuffled the cards again and placed them face down in the middle. "Most matches win?"
"You're on."
The Toymaker leaned in.
"By all means," he said. "You first."
Mabel looked down at her hand - ten of spades, queen of hearts, eight of hearts, seven of diamonds, ace of diamonds, seven of clubs and nine of clubs. She swallowed.
"Do you have any sevens?" she asked.
The Toymaker pulled a single card from his deck and handed it over - the seven of diamonds. Soos began to lean over to see his hand - he slapped him away.
"Okay… do you have any tens?"
The Toymaker smirked.
"Go fish."
Mabel picked up another card - the nine of spades. The Toymaker studied his cards.
"You know, your brother challenged me to a game of logic," he said. "Chess. Do you have any eights?"
Mabel swallowed, handing over her eight of hearts.
"Chess?" she quizzed.
"Ja," the Toymaker nodded. "Nearly won too. Just made one tiny wrong move… but sometimes that's all it takes."
He smirked.
"Show me your Queens."
Mabel handed over the queen of hearts.
"Aw man, dood, I can't watch…" Soos covered his eyes.
"It's always the ones that be thinking they are the cleverest," sneered the Toymaker. "I would like to play your Großonkel Ford after we've finished here. Fours?"
Mabel shook her head. "Go fish."
The Toymaker shrugged, drawing a card.
"It is always fun to play against the hubristic," he said.
"Got any aces?" demanded Mabel.
The Toymaker smirked again. "Go fish."
Mabel drew once more - the Jack of clubs.
"Ford would clean you up," she snorted.
"No, I think I would be doing the cleaning," he replied. "He is, as they say, too clever by half. Like the poor Dipper. Got any nines?"
With a shaking hand, Mabel handed over her two nines.
"Wunderbar," said the Toymaker. "And any fives?"
"Go fish, jerk," spat Mabel.
"Ooh, bad sportsmanship." The toymaker shook his head as he drew a card. "But I am right, no? Sooner or later he was always going to end up in a fight he couldn't win."
"Jacks?" asked Mabel, trying not to take the bait.
"You must be going fishing!" The Toymaker clapped his hands together.
Mabel gritted her teeth, drawing the king of diamonds. The Toymaker grinned unpleasantly.
"Sevens?"
Mabel gulped - she had three, nearly a match. Still, she reluctantly handed them over.
"And poor Wendy," he continued. "She tried to fight me when he lost – can you believe that? So uncivilised. Threes?"
"Go fish."
"But what can you expect from her kind?" asked the Toymaker, drawing the card. "So headstrong. So foolish. If she wanted so badly to stay with her Dipper, I could only oblige."
"Got any fours?"
"Go und fish!"
Mabel drew a card - the ace of hearts.
"So many possibilities for matches," said the Toymaker, looking at his hand. "Any nines?"
"Go fish."
The Toymaker shrugged, drawing a card.
"Jacks?" asked Mabel.
The Toymaker handed over a card - the Jack of hearts.
"How about you give me my sevens back?" she demanded.
The Toymaker smiled wryly and did so.
"How 'bout any tens?"
"Go fish."
She drew a three of hearts.
It continued like this for a few more turns. The Toymaker quickly seized the three but had to go fish asking for twos. Mabel claimed the three of clubs from him but lost out asking for fours - she 'fished' a four of diamonds, ironically enough. The Toymaker took Mabel's aces, but went fishing when she had no fives. Mabel asked for Jacks and got nothing, fishing a ten of hearts.
The Toymaker smirked.
"Your sevens, fraulein."
Mabel handed them over with a shaking hand, and the Toymaker laid them out in front of him, along with a single seven of spades from his hand.
"Ein point for me."
"Uh, when we get turned into toys and stuff," said Soos, "can I be a teddy bear? Feels like that'd hurt less."
"Soos!" exclaimed Mabel.
"Any tens?"
Mabel swallowed as she handed them over.
"Just sayin'," Soos shrugged.
"How about twos?"
"Go fish," grunted Mabel.
She looked at her hand as the Toymaker did so.
"Any nines?" she asked.
The Toymaker handed over the nines of clubs, spades and hearts.
"You would be making good playing cards, I think," he said.
"Shut up," said Mabel. "Threes?"
"Go und fish."
She drew the five of spades…
"Any Kings?"
…and handed over the King of Diamonds. She had no sixes, though, so the Toymaker drew.
On the game went. Mabel got two eights, spades and hearts, but the Toymaker had no fours, so she drew a four of clubs. The Toymaker asks for eights but got none. Mabel took three twos from him, missing only the two of spades, and reclaimed the nines, but he had no threes, so she drew. The Toymaker requested aces but got nothing.
"Any fives?"
The Toymaker handed over three cards. She gathered them with her five of spades and slapped them on the table in front of her.
"Read 'em and weep, sucker!" she snapped. "One to me! Now show me a three!"
"Nein, go fish."
Mabel slapped her forehead and drew. As she did so, her eyes widened, and she gathered the new jack with her three other jacks and put them in front of her.
"Two to me."
"Ja, ja, very good," the Toymaker said dismissively. "Your nines."
Mabel shook her head as she handed over her three nines.
"Und your aces?"
"Go fish," snorted Mabel.
The Toymaker drew.
"Show me your fours."
"Nein, go fish."
She drew an eight of diamonds, and immediately had to hand it over as the Toymaker asked for eights. She had no Kings, so he drew again.
On it went. Mabel asked for tens and got nothing, but drew the ten of clubs anyway. The Toymaker took back the nines and unsuccessfully tried for eights. Mabel took back the Kings but had no luck on threes. She drew a queen of diamonds that the Toymaker promptly took, along with her twos. These he drew in front of him - another set. He had no luck on nines, and Mabel took the queens back. He'd no threes so she drew again - eight of clubs.
The Toymaker took her tens. He had no luck on aces, but drew the nine of diamonds and made another match. Mabels took his aces, but drew when he had no kings. He took her fours, and then looked at her over the cards.
"Shall we up the ante?" he asked. "One turn each from now on. We keep going until we have no cards."
Mabel scratched her chin.
"Wouldn't that be messing with the rules?" she asked.
"Not," replied the Toymaker, "if they are house rules."
Mabel nodded.
"Fine," she said.
She looked at her cards.
"Eights?"
The Toymaker handed over three - another set!
"Sixes?" he asked.
Mabel handed over her six, and the Toymaker made another set.
"Aw dood…" Soos clutched his head, sweating.
"Threes."
"Go fish."
Mabel drew a card - three of diamonds.
"Fours?"
Mabel swallowed. "Go fish."
He drew a card.
"Kings?"
"Go fish."
She drew the four of spades.
"Tens?"
"Go fish."
He drew as she looked at her cards, sweating.
She inhaled deeply.
"Aces?"
He handed over two cards, and Mabel made another set.
"Fours?" he asked again.
Mabel handed over hers - he made a set once more. She looked at her cards - three threes, three queens, three kings.
"Q-queens?" she stammered.
"Go und fish."
She drew with trembling hand, and produced the king of spades. She laid them out - one more match.
"We are tied!" exclaimed the Toymaker. "With three suits left in play. Oh, I am so excited! Now… your threes."
Mabel swallowed, handing them over.
"Now," exclaimed the Toymaker. "The gamble! I have six cards, you have three. To complete the set, one of us must draw. Will it be you?"
Mabel looked down at the deck - there were a paltry few cards left. She took a deep breath and channelled her inner Grunkle Stan.
"Got any queens?" she asked, knowing full-well he didn't.
He gestured to the cards, and she drew.
She looked down at the Three of Spades in her hand.
"Your turn."
"Hmm…" the Toymaker scratched his chin. "If I correctly guess what you have, I can take it, and you lose. But if I don't… a roll of the dice. A pure gamble."
He leaned in, studying Mabel closely.
"Do you have any… tens?"
Mabel let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.
"Go fish."
He did so.
"Ten of diamonds," he said, "a set."
He laid them in front of him.
"Got any threes?" demanded Mabel.
He handed three over, and she too made a set.
"No cards," said the Toymaker. "I have no choice but to draw… and we both know I'll get…"
He drew the card.
"Got any queens?" asked Mabel.
"The Queen of Spades," nodded the Toymaker. "The last remaining card."
He handed it over, and Mabel laid her remaining cards in front of her.
"Seven points," said Mabel. "You've only got six. I win."
The Toymaker nodded, impressed.
"A bold gamble at the end," he said. "You would put so much on the line to save your brother. It… puzzles me."
Mabel leaned over the table.
"Give them back," she snarled. "Now."
The Toymaker adjusted his hat.
"Well why didn't y'all just say so?" he asked in an exaggerated cowboy accent. "One Dipper n' one Wendy comin' right up!"
He clapped his hands together.
"O' course," he continued, "you never specified in what condition you'd get 'em, sooo…"
"Wait, what?" exclaimed Mabel.
"Aw dood! He tricked us with genie logic!" blurted Soos.
"No, I want them back as people!" shouted Mabel. "You hear me? As peo–"
"Guten tag, fraulein! Danke for playing!"
Mabel felt herself being sucked backwards, flying through the air towards the door - which seemed a lot farther away then it had been when she entered. With a mighty crash, she slammed through the door, skidding along the cold, marble floors of the mall and coming to a stop in front of a bench. Soos flew out after her, flying across the mall and into a garbage can on the other side.
"Mabel!"
Mabel looked up, rubbing her head. Grunkle Stan was leaning over her, clutching her shoulders.
"What happened?!" he exclaimed. "What did that shyster do to you? I'm gonna give him a piece o'..."
"That might not be possible, Stanley."
Ford was looking back towards the store front - the toy shop was gone, replaced with a close shutter and a 'new store opening soon' banner. He shook his head, turning back to Mabel.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "Where's Dipper and Wendy?"
Mabel felt something hard in her hand - she opened it, and the little figures that were her brother and friend sat on her palm, as inanimate as any object.
"Ford," said Stan, his voice dangerously calm. "We're gonna find this jerk, right?"
Ford shook his head.
"I don't know, Stan," he replied. "He might only be found if he wants to be found. It's possible he's tracking an, uh, mutual acquaintance, but if anything that man's even more difficult to find."
"But we can turn them back, right?" Mabel asked.
Ford put a hand on her shoulder.
"I don't know," he replied. "But I will try, I promise."
"And if we can't?" demanded Stan.
Ford took a deep breath.
"Then we track him," he said. "And if we can't track him… we wait."
Mabel looked down at the small figures, wondering what they must be feeling right now. She blinked some tears out of her eyes and held them close to her heart, hoping they could at least feel the beat.
"I'll fix this, guys," she whispered. "I promise."
Dipper and Wendy didn't reply.
And that's all I wrote, because cliffhangers are fun. I hope it's okay to post oneshots here; if not, I could use this as a general short posting thread perhaps. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!
Mabel VS The Toymaker
Mabel stood in front of the small toy store in the Gravity Falls Mall, her face set in an uncharacteristic determined frown.
It wasn't really that much to look at. It was a faux-retro structure, the facade make of dyed red teak, with a black sign above it that read 'The Toyroom Toys and Gifts.' There were puppets and dolls displayed in the window next to the big wooden door, each of them painted and dressed in bright colourful costumes - clowns, jesters, harlequins, all garish in tone.
Soos swallowed as they approached the shop, gazing at the window. He looked closely at a doll with brown skin and messy hair, wearing a purple-and-white clown suit with a big red nose.
"You sure they're here, dood?" he asked.
"The mysterious toy store that appeared overnight?" replied Mabel. "Of course Dipper would've come here. He couldn't pass up a mystery like that!"
"Oh, okay." Soos tugged on his collar. "But shouldn't we get Stan and Ford before we go in?"
"I left a note on the table," replied Mabel. "If anything awful happens to us, they'll come to the rescue!"
"Oh." Soos gulped. "Good."
Mabel pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The store was dark, eerily lit by old electric lights that left long shadows over the creaking wooden floorboards. There were rows and rows of toys on shelves to the left and right, hidden by the darkness, but the middle of the shop was clear like a gangway, leading to the black oak counter. Behind this were more puppets, hung on hooks liked hanged men, and a few dusty old board games on small shelves below. There was nobody at the counter, but an old bell stood by the equally ancient-looking cash register.
Mabel and Soos walked to the counter, the floors squeaking and groaning under their weight. Without hesitation, Mabel began pressing the button on the bell – the dinging echoed.
"Heh, guess nobody's home," said Soos. "We should–"
He turned around.
"Wilkommen to mein shop."
Soos jumped and screamed. A man had appeared behind him – he wore a cowboy's outfit, a clearly plastic badge on his white buttoned shirt and a big black hat framing his forehead. He seemed an older gentlemen, grey-haired and somewhat weathered, but the wide smile seemed almost childish. Were it not for the strange glimmer in his blue eyes, he'd almost seem like an ordinary, if eccentric, shopkeeper.
"Oh! Sorry dude, you crept up on me!" Soos rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, we're just here to…"
"Cut the act!" snapped Mabel, pointing accusingly at the shopkeeper. "Where's Dipper? What did you do to him?"
The man's brows shot up.
"Dipper?" He rubbed his chin. "Do we have ein Dipper? Let me think…"
He walked behind the counter, kneeling down to look beneath it.
"I think I saw the Dipper," he said. "Would he have been with the red-haired girl? Green flannel, freckles?"
"Yeah," replied Mabel, crossing her arms. "Where are they?"
"Let me see… that would be filed under das 'Pine Tree," mused the man. "Und das ice bag…"
Mabel smacked her hands on the counter.
"Where are they?" she demanded again.
"Now really, there's a lot under here," replied the shopkeeper. "I need a little time to… aha!"
He stood up, his hands cupped together.
"Now, you is looking for the Dipper, ja?" he said. "Und the Wendy?"
"Yeah!" snapped Mabel. "Where are they?"
"Uh… dood," Soos put a hand on Mabel's shoulder. "We never told him Wendy's name."
"Here ist das Dipper…" The man placed a small object on the counter. "...und das Wendy." He placed another next to it.
Mabel took up the objects with trembling hands. One was a wooden figurine teenage boy, wearing a vest, orange shirt and shorts, and clad in a familiar blue and white hat, smiling fairly neutrally up at her. The other was a teenage girl with long red hair, a trapper hat, a green flannel shirt and jeans, again with an easy smile. Their features were printed on the front and back of the flat figures, with the sides an unpainted wood colour. They were like little figures from an old wooden train set.
"What did you do to them?!" Mabel exclaimed, horrified.
"Ah, you see, little Dipper wanted to see what the 'mystery' of this little shop was," replied the man, "so he dragged his little girlfriend here to snoop around, see what they could see. Und that's when they found me, and all of my toys, and Dipper, he was so confident, he wanted me to let them go. So I told him I would play a game with him. If he won, I'd give him all my toys. But if I won…"
He grinned, and Mabel noticed he seemed to have far too many teeth. A single golden tooth shimmered in the left side of his mouth.
"Ah, but I did win," he continued. "And now we both have what we wanted, ja? Dipper und Wendy get to know the mystery of the toy shop, forever und ever, and I get some more new toys to have fun with."
"But why?" asked Mabel. "Why make them this? Who are you?"
The man took the wooden Dipper and Wendy out of Mabel's hands, placing them on the table.
"I am the Toymaker," he replied, his accent slipping from a faux German to a deep British.
"Yeah, kinda guess that, dood," said Soos, looking around. "I mean I guess it's a hobby."
"Soos!"
"What? You gotta hand it to him, there's some pretty neat stuff in here," Soos shrugged.
Mabel narrowed her eyes.
"Yeah, sorry, I deserve that." Soos looked at his feet.
Mabel turned back to the Toymaker, reaching for the wooden figures.
"Ah-ah-ah!" the Toymaker raised his hand. "You cannot be having my toys. That is theft! Scandalous!"
"They're not yours!" shouted Mabel.
"But they are," replied the Toymaker. "I won them, fair und square! If you want them back, you must be winning the game yourself."
Mabel and Soos exchanged glances.
"Soos," she said, "go tell Grunkle Stan what's happening."
"On it!" Soos saluted and headed for the door. He reached it, pushed on it - and slammed into it as it failed to move.
"Aw man, I always do that…"
He tried pulling, but to no avail.
"Ah, I'm sorry," said the Toymaker. "No leaving until the game is complete."
Mabel furrowed her brow.
"Fine," she said. "I'll play your game. I mean, I don't really have a choice…"
The Toymaker leaned in.
"Well then," he said, and the store shifted around them. Suddenly, the counter was a table, and Mabel was swept onto a chair across from the Toymaker. She heard a yelp, and Soos was pushed into place next to them.
The Toymaker narrowed his eyes.
"What shall we play?"
He leaned back, producing a deck of cards which he began to shuffle.
"I have been busy since I found your brother, you know," he said, his accent becoming British again. "Your town has been an interesting little distraction from my… current game. So much more colourful than that joyless Doctor…"
He flipped through the cards impossibly quickly.
"I beat the Time Baby in a game of snap," he said, "and made him into so many marbles. I trapped the unicorns in slide-puzzles, and exiled the Shapeshifter to the Baltic Avenue space - though I prefer Coventry Street myself. I made Blendin Blandin my Joker card…"
He held up the Joker, revealing a picture of the time traveller on the front. He tossed it away contemptuously.
"Bill Cipher played for his freedom," he continued. "He lost. I made him a talking board."
"Bill?" Mabel's eyes widened. "But how?"
"I still wait for the main game," said the Toymaker, ignoring Mabel's response. "The final contest against the Doctor. But I do enjoy a few extra games on the side."
"Who's the Doctor?" asked Soos.
"I don't get it," said Mabel. "Dipper and Wendy only disappeared last night. How'd you get the time to play against all those other people?"
"You really think I would be so boring as to obey the rules of linear time?" sniffed the Toymaker.
Mabel stared at the Dipper and Wendy figures.
"So they could've actually been here for…"
"We have spoken enough!" The Toymaker's German accent briefly returned. "Now… what shall we play, Mabel Pines?"
"How do we know you won't cheat?" asked Mabel.
The Toymaker's eyes widened.
"Never!" he exclaimed. "Outrageous! For shame! I must abide by the rules of the game! To do otherwise would be unthinkable!"
Mabel and Soos exchanged glances.
"Go fish," declared Mabel. "We'll play that."
"Sehr gut!" The German accent was back again as he dealt the cards - seven for him, seven for Mabel. He shuffled the cards again and placed them face down in the middle. "Most matches win?"
"You're on."
The Toymaker leaned in.
"By all means," he said. "You first."
Mabel looked down at her hand - ten of spades, queen of hearts, eight of hearts, seven of diamonds, ace of diamonds, seven of clubs and nine of clubs. She swallowed.
"Do you have any sevens?" she asked.
The Toymaker pulled a single card from his deck and handed it over - the seven of diamonds. Soos began to lean over to see his hand - he slapped him away.
"Okay… do you have any tens?"
The Toymaker smirked.
"Go fish."
Mabel picked up another card - the nine of spades. The Toymaker studied his cards.
"You know, your brother challenged me to a game of logic," he said. "Chess. Do you have any eights?"
Mabel swallowed, handing over her eight of hearts.
"Chess?" she quizzed.
"Ja," the Toymaker nodded. "Nearly won too. Just made one tiny wrong move… but sometimes that's all it takes."
He smirked.
"Show me your Queens."
Mabel handed over the queen of hearts.
"Aw man, dood, I can't watch…" Soos covered his eyes.
"It's always the ones that be thinking they are the cleverest," sneered the Toymaker. "I would like to play your Großonkel Ford after we've finished here. Fours?"
Mabel shook her head. "Go fish."
The Toymaker shrugged, drawing a card.
"It is always fun to play against the hubristic," he said.
"Got any aces?" demanded Mabel.
The Toymaker smirked again. "Go fish."
Mabel drew once more - the Jack of clubs.
"Ford would clean you up," she snorted.
"No, I think I would be doing the cleaning," he replied. "He is, as they say, too clever by half. Like the poor Dipper. Got any nines?"
With a shaking hand, Mabel handed over her two nines.
"Wunderbar," said the Toymaker. "And any fives?"
"Go fish, jerk," spat Mabel.
"Ooh, bad sportsmanship." The toymaker shook his head as he drew a card. "But I am right, no? Sooner or later he was always going to end up in a fight he couldn't win."
"Jacks?" asked Mabel, trying not to take the bait.
"You must be going fishing!" The Toymaker clapped his hands together.
Mabel gritted her teeth, drawing the king of diamonds. The Toymaker grinned unpleasantly.
"Sevens?"
Mabel gulped - she had three, nearly a match. Still, she reluctantly handed them over.
"And poor Wendy," he continued. "She tried to fight me when he lost – can you believe that? So uncivilised. Threes?"
"Go fish."
"But what can you expect from her kind?" asked the Toymaker, drawing the card. "So headstrong. So foolish. If she wanted so badly to stay with her Dipper, I could only oblige."
"Got any fours?"
"Go und fish!"
Mabel drew a card - the ace of hearts.
"So many possibilities for matches," said the Toymaker, looking at his hand. "Any nines?"
"Go fish."
The Toymaker shrugged, drawing a card.
"Jacks?" asked Mabel.
The Toymaker handed over a card - the Jack of hearts.
"How about you give me my sevens back?" she demanded.
The Toymaker smiled wryly and did so.
"How 'bout any tens?"
"Go fish."
She drew a three of hearts.
It continued like this for a few more turns. The Toymaker quickly seized the three but had to go fish asking for twos. Mabel claimed the three of clubs from him but lost out asking for fours - she 'fished' a four of diamonds, ironically enough. The Toymaker took Mabel's aces, but went fishing when she had no fives. Mabel asked for Jacks and got nothing, fishing a ten of hearts.
The Toymaker smirked.
"Your sevens, fraulein."
Mabel handed them over with a shaking hand, and the Toymaker laid them out in front of him, along with a single seven of spades from his hand.
"Ein point for me."
"Uh, when we get turned into toys and stuff," said Soos, "can I be a teddy bear? Feels like that'd hurt less."
"Soos!" exclaimed Mabel.
"Any tens?"
Mabel swallowed as she handed them over.
"Just sayin'," Soos shrugged.
"How about twos?"
"Go fish," grunted Mabel.
She looked at her hand as the Toymaker did so.
"Any nines?" she asked.
The Toymaker handed over the nines of clubs, spades and hearts.
"You would be making good playing cards, I think," he said.
"Shut up," said Mabel. "Threes?"
"Go und fish."
She drew the five of spades…
"Any Kings?"
…and handed over the King of Diamonds. She had no sixes, though, so the Toymaker drew.
On the game went. Mabel got two eights, spades and hearts, but the Toymaker had no fours, so she drew a four of clubs. The Toymaker asks for eights but got none. Mabel took three twos from him, missing only the two of spades, and reclaimed the nines, but he had no threes, so she drew. The Toymaker requested aces but got nothing.
"Any fives?"
The Toymaker handed over three cards. She gathered them with her five of spades and slapped them on the table in front of her.
"Read 'em and weep, sucker!" she snapped. "One to me! Now show me a three!"
"Nein, go fish."
Mabel slapped her forehead and drew. As she did so, her eyes widened, and she gathered the new jack with her three other jacks and put them in front of her.
"Two to me."
"Ja, ja, very good," the Toymaker said dismissively. "Your nines."
Mabel shook her head as she handed over her three nines.
"Und your aces?"
"Go fish," snorted Mabel.
The Toymaker drew.
"Show me your fours."
"Nein, go fish."
She drew an eight of diamonds, and immediately had to hand it over as the Toymaker asked for eights. She had no Kings, so he drew again.
On it went. Mabel asked for tens and got nothing, but drew the ten of clubs anyway. The Toymaker took back the nines and unsuccessfully tried for eights. Mabel took back the Kings but had no luck on threes. She drew a queen of diamonds that the Toymaker promptly took, along with her twos. These he drew in front of him - another set. He had no luck on nines, and Mabel took the queens back. He'd no threes so she drew again - eight of clubs.
The Toymaker took her tens. He had no luck on aces, but drew the nine of diamonds and made another match. Mabels took his aces, but drew when he had no kings. He took her fours, and then looked at her over the cards.
"Shall we up the ante?" he asked. "One turn each from now on. We keep going until we have no cards."
Mabel scratched her chin.
"Wouldn't that be messing with the rules?" she asked.
"Not," replied the Toymaker, "if they are house rules."
Mabel nodded.
"Fine," she said.
She looked at her cards.
"Eights?"
The Toymaker handed over three - another set!
"Sixes?" he asked.
Mabel handed over her six, and the Toymaker made another set.
"Aw dood…" Soos clutched his head, sweating.
"Threes."
"Go fish."
Mabel drew a card - three of diamonds.
"Fours?"
Mabel swallowed. "Go fish."
He drew a card.
"Kings?"
"Go fish."
She drew the four of spades.
"Tens?"
"Go fish."
He drew as she looked at her cards, sweating.
She inhaled deeply.
"Aces?"
He handed over two cards, and Mabel made another set.
"Fours?" he asked again.
Mabel handed over hers - he made a set once more. She looked at her cards - three threes, three queens, three kings.
"Q-queens?" she stammered.
"Go und fish."
She drew with trembling hand, and produced the king of spades. She laid them out - one more match.
"We are tied!" exclaimed the Toymaker. "With three suits left in play. Oh, I am so excited! Now… your threes."
Mabel swallowed, handing them over.
"Now," exclaimed the Toymaker. "The gamble! I have six cards, you have three. To complete the set, one of us must draw. Will it be you?"
Mabel looked down at the deck - there were a paltry few cards left. She took a deep breath and channelled her inner Grunkle Stan.
"Got any queens?" she asked, knowing full-well he didn't.
He gestured to the cards, and she drew.
She looked down at the Three of Spades in her hand.
"Your turn."
"Hmm…" the Toymaker scratched his chin. "If I correctly guess what you have, I can take it, and you lose. But if I don't… a roll of the dice. A pure gamble."
He leaned in, studying Mabel closely.
"Do you have any… tens?"
Mabel let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.
"Go fish."
He did so.
"Ten of diamonds," he said, "a set."
He laid them in front of him.
"Got any threes?" demanded Mabel.
He handed three over, and she too made a set.
"No cards," said the Toymaker. "I have no choice but to draw… and we both know I'll get…"
He drew the card.
"Got any queens?" asked Mabel.
"The Queen of Spades," nodded the Toymaker. "The last remaining card."
He handed it over, and Mabel laid her remaining cards in front of her.
"Seven points," said Mabel. "You've only got six. I win."
The Toymaker nodded, impressed.
"A bold gamble at the end," he said. "You would put so much on the line to save your brother. It… puzzles me."
Mabel leaned over the table.
"Give them back," she snarled. "Now."
The Toymaker adjusted his hat.
"Well why didn't y'all just say so?" he asked in an exaggerated cowboy accent. "One Dipper n' one Wendy comin' right up!"
He clapped his hands together.
"O' course," he continued, "you never specified in what condition you'd get 'em, sooo…"
"Wait, what?" exclaimed Mabel.
"Aw dood! He tricked us with genie logic!" blurted Soos.
"No, I want them back as people!" shouted Mabel. "You hear me? As peo–"
"Guten tag, fraulein! Danke for playing!"
Mabel felt herself being sucked backwards, flying through the air towards the door - which seemed a lot farther away then it had been when she entered. With a mighty crash, she slammed through the door, skidding along the cold, marble floors of the mall and coming to a stop in front of a bench. Soos flew out after her, flying across the mall and into a garbage can on the other side.
"Mabel!"
Mabel looked up, rubbing her head. Grunkle Stan was leaning over her, clutching her shoulders.
"What happened?!" he exclaimed. "What did that shyster do to you? I'm gonna give him a piece o'..."
"That might not be possible, Stanley."
Ford was looking back towards the store front - the toy shop was gone, replaced with a close shutter and a 'new store opening soon' banner. He shook his head, turning back to Mabel.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "Where's Dipper and Wendy?"
Mabel felt something hard in her hand - she opened it, and the little figures that were her brother and friend sat on her palm, as inanimate as any object.
"Ford," said Stan, his voice dangerously calm. "We're gonna find this jerk, right?"
Ford shook his head.
"I don't know, Stan," he replied. "He might only be found if he wants to be found. It's possible he's tracking an, uh, mutual acquaintance, but if anything that man's even more difficult to find."
"But we can turn them back, right?" Mabel asked.
Ford put a hand on her shoulder.
"I don't know," he replied. "But I will try, I promise."
"And if we can't?" demanded Stan.
Ford took a deep breath.
"Then we track him," he said. "And if we can't track him… we wait."
Mabel looked down at the small figures, wondering what they must be feeling right now. She blinked some tears out of her eyes and held them close to her heart, hoping they could at least feel the beat.
"I'll fix this, guys," she whispered. "I promise."
Dipper and Wendy didn't reply.
THE END
And that's all I wrote, because cliffhangers are fun. I hope it's okay to post oneshots here; if not, I could use this as a general short posting thread perhaps. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!