Lost in the Desert (DND esque)

[Useless Writer]

The Sun beat down upon me like the fist of an angry overseer. The corn-yellow dunes of sand stretched all about me, looking almost akin to piles of gold dust in the heat of the noon sun. There wasn't so much as a cloud in the sky or a hint of green anywhere to be found.

Oh, and to top it all off, I was completely and utterly lost. Not that I'm even sure how I got here to begin with. I was standing on what appeared to be a stone plate, or perhaps a circle would be a more apt description, emerging from the depths of one of the sand dune. The center is inscribed with some sort of hieroglyphs, the only one I could recognize was the eye of Horus, which took a place of prominence in the center of an inscribed circle of worn hieroglyphs too faded to make out.

It didn't make sense. I'd somehow been transported to the middle of a desert from a stuffy museum in the middle of Bumblefuck Iowa. What could possibly have done this? It's not like I was trying to translate spells or some shit. More importantly if one of the Museum's artifacts could do this, you'd think they would…

Oh.

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"Ow!" I snapped as the packet of chips cut into the flesh of my finger, releasing a single drop of bright red blood from the paper cut as I dropped the bag of chips and swore. With a grimace I flapped my injured hand around to try and stop the smarting cut. The fleck of blood flying to a chunk of stone sitting on a plinth nearby. I had been about to read the placard attached to the plinth while enjoying my salty snack.

Unfortunately. everything had turned sideways and suddenly I was in sunlight.

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Oh No.

Okay, compartmentalize the whole magic/sufficiently advanced teleporter activated by blood for now. Focus on getting back home before having a panic attack.

Maybe if I bled on this circle, it would send me back? That seems about as logical as anything else at this particular moment in time. I snatched my wounded finger with my other hand and squeezed as hard as I could.

"Come on you son of a bitch, fucking bleed!" I bit out through gritted teeth as I tried to ignore the pain and force another drop of blood out. Working the injured finger with my hand like I was kneading clay, eventually, bright ruby blood welled to the surface.

"Yes!" I almost shouted as I knelt over the circle and hovered the bloody finger over the eye of Horus. Waggling my finger, I finally coaxed the miniscule drop of blood into falling onto the bleached-white stone.

Nothing happened.

Okay, looks like option: Panic!!! jumped right to the top of the priority list.

Theories, theories, ummmmmmmm…

Maybe it's a one way teleporter? Some ancient Egyptian high priest's escape button? Maybe it only worked once a day? What if it was a one way teleporter? Or what if I used up the last of whatever energies it worked with?

Wait, if I'm in Egypt, would my cell phone still work? I seem to remember that most ancient egyptian ruins were relatively close to the Nile on account of the ready source of water. Surely there's some sort of cell coverage out here. Turning my back to the sun, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and turned it on. Waiting a hot(lol) second for the turning on animation to cease. I watched as all the little icons showed up on the cracked screen. Full power, always nice, no wifi obviously… no cell service.

Fuck. I must be far enough out from a cell tower that I wouldn't get service, and it's not like I'm carrying a satellite phone or a starlink terminal.

Okay, I'm at least going to stay here till nightfall. I probably won't be reported missing for a couple of hours unless a guard was watching the ancient egypt exhibit's camera when I got yoinked. Hopefully if someone tries to call me they'll realize something fucky is up when they hear the whole "We're sorry, the person you're trying to reach is outside our network coverage." spiel. If someone else comes through, then I'll at least know the teleporter still works. Just gotta be patient.

I turned off my phone, stepped off of the circle and sat down on the edge. My light jacket, sufficient for the chilly midwestern spring, would be boiling in this subtropical desert heat, so I opened the zipper in the front to reveal my white sportswear undershirt, which would in theory help prevent me from losing too much water to sweat. I didn't want to deal with sunburn, so I kept my arms in the sleeves and flipped the hood up over my head. I had a single 18oz. bottle of water in my pocket, which I thankfully hadn't cracked the seal on yet. It wouldn't last long, but every instant I hadn't drunk out of it was an instant more of water and possibly life.

The desert heat was almost pleasant, the occasional gust of wind pleasantly cooling. It didn't take long for me to begin nodding off.

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I awoke in the evening, the sun setting in what was presumably the west. The sky turning a brilliant reddish gold as the sun crept below the horizon. My stomach growled and my throat was parched. The desert sands around me were unchanged. I pulled my water bottle out and cracked the seal with my teeth, taking a single gulp before realizing this was all I had, which prompted me to hold a smaller sip of water in my mouth as a bit of old discovery channel Survivorman wisdom crept to the forefront of my mind. Holding water in my mouth while moving would supposedly help ablate my desire for more water.

Looking back over my shoulder, I saw the unchanged sight of the circle. I couldn't wait, I'd only have a day, maybe a day and a half of movement when the last of my water ran out. If I don't start walking soon, I may not survive the trip.

Conventional wisdom said that I should stay put for as long as possible, in case rescue came. But this was hardly a conventional situation. If I was in egypt, then if I walk east for long enough I'd run into some kind of water eventually.

With a sigh, I put the setting sun to my back and started walking down the dune. Hopefully the moon would come out tonight so I had some light to work with.

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So, I've learned some things. None of them are good.

First, walking through the desert is actually harder than you'd think. Especially at night when you're allegedly supposed to travel. Sometimes I'd take a step only to nearly fall down the side of some sand dune because the moon didn't come up for what felt like hours after the sun gave way to full darkness. Even when I could see I was still stumbling all over the place because the sand can't be bothered to hold a consistent shape.

Second, Night was a lot darker when there were no street lamps or other ambient sources of light. Who knew? I mean it's obvious in hindsight, but still, the absolute disrespect.

Third, and this is a minor one, hardly worth mentioning in point of fact. But the STARS ARE WRONG!!!

Not in any reasonable sense like the constellations being in the wrong spot(not like I'd know to begin with) or there being more stars out(which would make sense this far from any source of light pollution). No. The stars were moving. Shifting, dancing, hunting each other across the night sky through a shimmering darkness that might well be water for all I knew. The stars being fixed points of light with the occasional roving satellite made sense to me, but this? This is some bullshit.

The moon, when it did finally show up, was at least moving reasonably for a lunar body. The light from it seemed to calm the roving stars down a bit, though they still shifted and danced in a wholly uncomfortable way. I tried not to look up as I trekked through the dunes in the moonlight.

The only thing that didn't surprise me was that the desert was far chillier at night. Twenty minutes of trekking in the dark had me zipping up my coat. Forty minutes had me wishing I'd brought a heavier one, but thankfully it didn't get cold enough for me to see my breath, just chilly enough to be uncomfortable. Which wasn't great, but what could I do?

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This sucked.

I know, I know, stating the obvious. But this seriously sucked. Nothing but featureless desert in every direction ever since I left the plinth. Having to exert an extreme force of will to avoid chugging the whole of the water bottle in one go as the sky began to lighten and I looked for a sufficient sand dune to shelter in the shadow of. My throat actively hurt and my mouth tasted vaguely of blood. The mouthful of water didn't help, my dumb ass had swallowed halfway through the night.

There was a mountainous sand dune in front of me, rising up like a grand monument to burning gritty awfulness. It would… probably protect me from the sun for a good portion of the day. Which was nice given how damn tired I was. I settled down on a particularly comfortable looking pile of sand, took a long pull of tepid water, and promptly passed out.

I could only hope there was some sort of Oasis or river within a days travel of where I was. I'm not sure if I could manage another day of travel like this.

 

[Useless Writer]

I awoke to the midday sun shining down on my face and a strange, shifting weight on my chest. The dry heat left me smelling blood and my lips felt dry and cracked. The pounding in my head and the wobbling sand in front of me told me that not only was the last day not some sort of fever dream, but I was far closer to dying ignobly of thirst then I had ever been before in my life.

Joy of all joys.

With little better to do, I looked down at my chest to see how much sand had settled on me while I snoozed only to see a decent sized snake curled up right on my chest. It was probably a few feet in length, had a beautiful bright blue and green pattern to it's scale, and it's diamond shaped head seemed like it was only a few inches from my face.

Needless to say, I went very still upon seeing that.

Trying to ignore the absolute unlubricated ass-fucking I was currently recieving from fate, I gently lowered my head back down and looked away from the sun. It might be hours before the snake decided to move on its merry way. The upcoming sunburn on my face was going to make life hell, but what choice did I have? Further disturb the serpent and die a quick, painful death to snake venom?

Actually, that… might not be a bad idea. Let's be real here, if there was any water to be had anywhere near here there would probably be cacti or something. Maybe some hardy scrub trees or scraggly bushes. I was wandering east in the vague hope I'd run into some sort of water source that might prove remotely drinkable. Maybe this was fate being kind rather then unkind? I already hurt more then I think I've ever hurt in the past, did I really want to prolong this?

I felt the snake shift on my chest, slithering up until it's head was firmly in my field of vision and looking down at me. Amber colored eyes pensive as it looked down at me. It had raised itself up enough that I could see it's pale underbelly. Shocked out of my depressive thoughts, I noticed that this snake was exhibiting all of the signs of reptilian dehydration.

Might come as a shock, but I'd kept reptiles for a good portion of my life, my little ball python Caution Ramen had passed on about a year ago, so thankfully there were no little scaled bois waiting for me back in the apartment. But the proper care of snakes was still fresh in my mind. When the Snake didn't bite me or do anything else untoward I began to slowly rise up from my lying down position. The Snake slowly retracted as I rose, settling down into a little coiled heap on my lap as I came to a sitting position and slowly fished out my half empty water bottle.

It was stupid, but I felt bad for the moderate sized reptile. The little scaled pupper looked up at me as I slowly unscrewed the cap from the bottle and poured a little bit of warm water into my hand. Lowering my water filled hand to the snake's eye level, I waited patiently.

It didn't take long, the Snake looked up at me then down at the water a few times before making it's decision. It shimmied over to my hand and gently lowered its mouth to take little lapping drinks of the life giving fluid.

"You were someone's snake, weren't you? Never had a wild one so comfortable in my lap before." I muttered to myself through cracked lips. The snake didn't answer me, not that I was expecting it too, but still. I ended up using about half of the remaining water to rehydrate the snake. It was weird, but the snake was already looking better.

"I don't suppose you know anywhere safe, preferably with a large quantity of water nearby, do you?" I muttered to the snake as I drained the last of the water from the bottle, the last swallows whetting my throat just enough that it only mildly hurt to speak. The snake rose up and looked at me before cocking it's head in seeming confusion.

"Can… can you understand me?" I asked in bewilderment. The snake uncocked it's head and nodded at me.

"Okay, teleporting stones, moving stars, and now snakes that can understand english. At least the last few days of my life were interesting." I sighed as I just shook my head in wonder and amazement. "I don't suppose you know anywhere where we could both get out of the sun?"

The snake paused, and then moved over to my left side and extended it's head in sort of a pointing gesture. I looked back only to see that some of the mountainous sand dune had shifted at some point, unveiling what looked like a massive stone… tunnel maybe? Entrance to a buried building perhaps? Whatever, it was dark and stone like, out of the sun was good in my book.

"Well I'm heading into the shade, are you coming with?" I ask the nice little snake who hadn't decided to bite me in all of this. The Snake proceeded to slither up my chest and settled in a loose scarf formation. Settling it's little head on my shoulder much like old Caution Ramen did. Darn thing could read me like a book apparently.

"You have no right to be this adorable." I muttered as I pulled myself to my feet and stepped into the shade for the first time in what felt like an unreasonably long time.

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The interior of the building was blessedly cold compared to the baking heat of the desert outside. While still in sight of the entrance, I pulled my sneakers off and dumped out the not insignificant amount of sand that had been building up in them since I began my trek, my black socks were plastered to my feet with what was hopefully sweat and not blood like my more morbid thoughts suggested once I'd seen the sand pour out. I'd forgotten a rather pertinent bit of information from the old Survivorman show, empty out your gosh-be-darned boots every once in a while so the sand didn't wear your feet down to bloody ruins.

Slipping my sneakers back on and trying to ignore the sticky, chafing feel of sweat(?) soaked socks, I pulled my cell phone back out, the little machine radiating heat from what it'd absorbed in the desert. Hopefully the heat hadn't ruined it as I was kind of short on light sources right now and wandering around blind in some desert ruin did not sound appealing to me. With bated breath I held the power button down.

A moment passed.

Then Another.

Then with the triumphant tone of an opening jingle that caused my new snake friend to shift a little on my shoulder. The black screen lit up and cast the darkness in weak, blue-white radiance. Finally, something was going my way! To my dismay however, the phone's battery life had apparently degraded over the last… day or so? Going from 100% to 33%. Great.

Alright, so, I'm out of water. I've gotten out of the sun but even the cool darkness of the buried building would only prolong my life by so long. My only light source was rapidly loosing battery life and it was hard to keep moving what with the lack of food in my belly. Gotta be honest with myself, not the best odds right now. If this building wasn't some random unsealed tomb in the desert, I'd bet that there was some sort of water source here. Maybe some sort of fortified well or oasis. Only thing that really makes sense, despite the common assumption that the egyptians built their tombs deep in the desert, there was always some sort of water source nearby, to keep the workers alive while building it if nothing else. Now, thousands of years after the fact, the water source might have dried up or been redirected by the merciless march of time or forgotten human intervention. But the slim odds of there being some sort of drinkable water source here were worth exploring.

Now, logically speaking it's not likely, permanent water sources in the desert tend to have settlements built around them after all, but the hope of there being something here would keep me going for a while at least.

It would have to be enough.

 

[Useless Writer]

The light from the lit screen of my phone didn't penetrate very far into the gloom of the building. I was only using it every few steps, taking snapshot images of my surroundings as I descended into the buried building to conserve battery life. As I slowly walked deeper, a thought occurred to me. There was very little sand on the floor of this building. There were no doors, no blockages, not so much as a slightly raised doorstep to dissuade the sand from the desert outside in coating the floor. Yet the floors were cold stone blocks, or perhaps flagstones, I wasn't sure how big this building was, or if I was even on the ground floor, maybe I had entered the building from some sort of rooftop? Was the rest of it buried even deeper under the sands than the dune currently lying atop it?

The corridor I was walking down wasn't much bigger than the hallways in your average highschool, maybe large enough for 5 people to walk abreast. The walls were the same cold grey stone of the rest of the structure. Which struck me as kind of odd, I vaguely remembered the egyptians decorated the walls of every major structure, so if this was a tomb or a garrisoned watering hole or palace or whatever, where were the faded patches of paint?

Eventually the walls dropped out into a chamber, the entrance a glimmer of sunlight in the distance. The snake, which had been content to ride coiled around my neck, tightened slightly. I raised my phone to illuminate the serpent, partially to make sure it wasn't trying to choke me or something silly like that. It's head was pointing straight out like an arrow into the right corner of the room. So since the little creature had already displayed a degree of intelligence far in excess of what reptile kind would usually display, I followed it's lead.

"Perhaps we can risk a little more light." I muttered, quoting Gandalf as I turned on the flashlight on my phone. Eyes blinking in the sudden flash of light and slowly panning around the room, I beheld what appeared to be a guardroom. Each wall held a series of racks, most empty, but a handful of them bore ancient weapons, stone spears, stone headed maces and a single bronze khopesh turned green with age. In each corner sat a round stone table with a series of little stone stools. Patches of dirt and decayed wooden frames show where ancient hide shields had sat. Scattered around the room were little clay accouterments. Little bowls and utensils, though all of them were empty, not that I would have expected anything to remain after so long. In the back of the room was a short corridor leading to an ascending ramp, disappearing upwards into darkness. To the left was a small room which upon casual examination only had a few holes dropping away into darkness. Maybe a bathroom of sorts?

When my examination of the room was done, I turned back to the snake and saw it was still pointing it's head at one of the hanging maces.

"...This place is dangerous, isn't it?" I asked the snake, gazing at the mace as creeping dread menaced my spine. Looking down at the snake, I saw it turn back to me and nod.

With a sigh, I reached out for the wooden handle of the mace. It was smooth and dry to the touch, leaving me to wonder if the original owners of this place had varnished their wooden weapon handles. Was that a thing whenever this mace was made? It's not like I could really tell. Whatever, the mace at least felt solid in my hand.

It was a simple thing, a tapered wooden handle leading up to a polished stone head which stuck out of the side like a particularly blunt axe blade. I'd probably end up using it like an axe if I had to fight anything in here. Though personally I doubted there would be any major dangers in here. Barring scorpions, but those would be easy enough to handle.

I turned off the flashlight and made for the ramp. Newly looted weapon sitting in my right hand as I did so.

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The ramp leading up into the ruin had leveled out after about… twenty feet? I think? It was hard to tell distances traveled when you'd never done so in the past. I was back to the occasional flash of a phone screen as my little sojourn with the flashlight had cost me five percent of my remaining battery life in the two minutes it had been on. The heat had definitely damaged my phone's battery life. Frigging cheap smartphone bullcrap is what that is.

The ramp corridor lead off into another room, a much larger one at that. The ceiling stretching away into darkness as the sound of my footsteps echoed here. Tall columns held the ceiling in place and low plinths filled the center of the room, row after row of low stone benche. Perhaps this was some sort of briefing room? I wasn't going to risk the flashlight again, but perhaps at the far end of the room was some sort of stage where the local garrison commander could issue orders to their soldiers? It had seemed like a good theory, but unfortunately I was swiftly disabused of this notion as walking among the benches revealed a rather gruesome tableau.

A flash of phone radiance revealed a stereotypical trope of egyptian stories. A tightly bound, linen wrapped corpse with it's arms crossed over it's chest, a spear clasped in one hand. A mummified warrior, though perhaps not an important one given the lack of a death mask.

We of course, ignore my terrified squeak and subsequent panic attack.And instead focus on the fact that the plinths around me were covered in mummified bodies. Row after row of spear wielding corpses. The air was thankfully free of the scent of decay, only smelling of dust and sand. But my reflexive sniff revealed something else to me.

The faint scent of water.

It's not something you really think about, water having a scent that is. But weirdly enough it's something I picked up on in living in the midwest. The scent of rain on the wind. This was different of course, the scent more… low-lying but unmistakable in it's hydrative qualities. Despite the morbid scene around me, I swallowed heavily. Painfully as my mind lost all concern for the army of the dead that surrounded me.

Whatever, if my presence had disturbed the rest of the dead. They could jolly well do what they liked to me after I'd slaked my thirst. Trying to avoid stumbling over or jostling the corpses about me, I followed my nose to the northern passage of the room. The faint sounds of burbling water acting as a siren song to my near fatally unhydrated mind.

As I hurried as fast as my exhausted feet would carry me. I missed the subtle sound of claws scraping the stone as something followed behind me.

 

[Useless Writer]

I freely admit I wasn't paying attention to where I was going as desperation drove me to seek the source of that faint burbling. I lit the flashlight and tore down corridor after corridor, sniffing heavily and listening hard as the source of water eluded me. That beautiful, torturous sound of liquid life haunting me as I passed through passage and chamber.

The sound grew louder and louder as I approached, not caring in the slightest if the sound of a fountain or a stream echoing this far didn't make much sense to me. The thick scent of running water smelled finer than the most pleasant of perfumes as the air thickened about me. Humidity spiking as I approached the source of that most delicious scent.

Look I know I'm laying it on a bit thick, but I am fucking thorsty.

If I had the water for it, I would have cried at the beautiful sight of the fountain that lay before me as I turned the last corner. Faintly glowing crystals shed illumination on the room as I stumbled down the last few feet before falling to my knees by the side of the fountain. The light from my phone had cut out, but I didn't care. There was water to be drunk.

I set my now dead phone on the floor and unceremoniously dropped my mace to the floor with a clatter before greedily cupping my hands into the fountain, filling them with the precious, life giving substance and raising it to my lips. The snake slithered off of my shoulders and settled by the side of the fountain before lowering its on head into the waters. Drinking greedily as I sipped.

Gods on high it was like drinking liquid sugar, it tasted so sweet to my withering tongue and dry mouth. I slurped the handful of water down and quickly cupped up another drink. The water almost hurt going down, so dry was my throat and mouth. Sanity gripped me by my third drink and I kept the water in my mouth, slowly swishing it around so that my mouth might realize there was water to be had and it could start producing saliva again.

Of course. Nothing good ever lasts as I felt something grab my sneaker from behind and squeeze hard, like it was trying to cut into my shoe. Turning around, I saw in the gloom perhaps the largest scorpion to have ever existed. As tall at the shoulder (as much as arthrapods have shoulders) as a labrador. It's carapace shined black under the faint glow of the crystals set into the walls about me, it's beady little eyes shining with hunger as it's stinger-clad tail arched back to strike.

I'd like to say I responded calmly and picked up my mace to bludgeon it to death, but I leaped off the ground so hard my shoe stayed in the scorpion's claw as my scream filled the ruin. I ended up in the fountain, my mace and phone left behind as the scorpion stabbed the pace where I had been with it's terrible stinger. Pure animal panic and raw adrenaline had me scrambling backwards through the sloshing water as the scorpion considered coming into the water after me before deciding to crawl around the outside of the circular fountain to get at me on the other side.

Taking a precious second to think, I clambered out of the fountain and ran around the outside of it as the scorpion scuttled after me, my foot nearly slipped on my discarded phone as I came around to where the mace was and scooped it up.

The scorpion stopped, chittering to itself as I turned to it with the mace upheld like a baseball bat as I stared it down. It's claws clicked and the tail waved as the scorpion considered whether or not I'd make a good meal.

The snake took this opportunity to strike, launching itself off of curled coils to wrap around the scorpion's tail, flexing it's might as it bent the tail back and out of the way. The Scorpion let out a wailing chitter of surprise as it tried to curl back and snip the snake in half with it's claws. In it's panic, the scorpion revealed it's underbelly as it tried to curl itself backward. With a wordless shout, I brought my mace down as hard as I could on the exposed belly carapace. A terrible cracking sound filled the air as dark fluid burst forth from the shattered carapace. The scorpion unflipped itself and lashed out with its claw far faster than I could have expected. The claw latched onto me and bit deep into my right forearm, slicing right through the jacket I was wearing to tear skin and muscle and sending me cringing backward as bright blood flowed forth. I can rightly say I panicked, which might have saved my arm from worse damage as I ripped it free of the scorpion's grasp.

The pain… wasn't bad. For the moment. Anger clashed with terror and proved the stronger of the two as fury flooded my limbs and my heart burned with power. Screaming my anger and frustration, I lashed out, battering aside the scorpion's claws and bringing my mace down on what was presumably it's head. Once, twice, three times. The scorpion's carapace crunching and splattering under my mace.

Moments into my first real fight ever, and it's already done. My head swam as some traumatized corner of my mind imagined the final fantasy victory music. Warm liquid trickled down my arm as I stumbled backwards from the carnage of the scorpion's ruined corpse. Eventually finding myself settling down next to the fountain. The snake slithered over to me as I shifted so that my back was to the fountain.

I can at least say that I managed to not throw up into the fountain as my body finished processing the adrenaline and my whole world became pain.

 

[Useless Writer]

I'd like to say that bandaging my wounds and trekking on into the rest of the ruin was an easy task, but it really fucking wasnt. Have you ever performed first aid on yourself without easy access to things like bandages and disinfectant? Much less while the shattered corpse of the oversized insect that gave you the wound is sitting not five feet away from you?

Whatever, basic wound care from a silly internet video swam to the forefront of my mind as I looked down to the darkening fabric sitting under the place where the scorpion snagged me with his claw. Apply pressure to the painhole to stop or slow the flow of blood. Feeling the dampening fabric and stinging pain of wounded flesh under my left hand as I clamped down on my injured arm was… gross. Gurgles and the unpleasant feeling of needing to vomit further welled deep in my gut, but given the caustic smelling pile of bile on the floor next to me, I don't think I actually had anything left to give.

Still, feeling warm blood soaking into the fabric beneath my fingers was not helping me process the giant fucking scorpion I just mulched. The biggest insects only got to be about a foot or so on earth. This fucking thing would have made a good candidate for mid sized dog from arachnid hell in size. Proof, if any more was needed, that I was no longer on Earth. Or at least not the Earth I knew, damn Isekai bullshit.

Then again, the glowing crystals and the burbling fountain with no obvious source of water didn't really fit with what I knew of what was possible on earth. Then again I'm injured, dangerously dehydrated, and haven't eaten in two days. So my recollection of things might not be entirely accurate. But who could really say, the theories of cryptids and bizarre things going bump in the night might have more truth to them if I'd been teleported to some desolate quarter of the Sahara desert.

The snake was sitting coiled up on my lap, looking up with sad snake pupper eyes. I reached over and gently stroked it behind it's head. Smiling as I did so, perhaps for the first time in a couple of days (couple of months actually, but it's nice to pretend my other problems don't exist here.)

"It's alright buddy, just a little flesh wound. I'll be back up and moving in a few days here." I told the snake as I looked over at the scorpion. "Shame, that thing will probably be inedible by the time I'm healed up enough to process the carcass. But where there's one, there's probably more. And I have a powerful urge to try scorpion now."

The snake hissed lightly, almost like it was asking a question. Weirdly, or perhaps not weirdly given the magical nature of the snake, I figured I knew what the Snake was asking.

"I need at least one free hand to yank off the parts I wanna eat. I'd do it now, but I don't want to lose more blood than I have too. And the legs and claws need to be pulled off soon or the bacteria in the gut will contaminate the meat, won't be good for much else after that." I answered the Snake's unspoken question. The snake nodded, and then began to slither up to my arm. "What do you think you're doing there?"


The snake ignored me and began pressing it's snout into the bottom of my left hand, where it was clasping the wounded section of my right arm, I think it was trying to wiggle under my hand?

Confused, I let go for an instant and the snake slithered up and looped itself around my arm with a quickness that surprised me. It's coils tightening around my wound, while blood had been slowly welling to the surface around my hand, the flow of blood slowed to a trickle. Snake tourniquet that didn't hurt like one was supposed to, nice.

I made to get up, to go and work off the rest of the nervous energy coursing through my veins from the ended fight by brutally ripping legs and claws off of the scorpion corpse forr sustenance, but I felt… something. A presence at the edge of my thoughts, soft, smooth and humming a sibilant aria. Looking back down at the serpent preventing me from bleeding to death, I saw the snake was transfixed by a single bead of blood that was floating in the air above my cut like a rain drop caught in a perpetual fall.

"That's… strange." I muttered aloud as I stared at the physics-defying mote of blood.

The presence, presumably related to the snake in question, asked me a wordless question. It sought permission and requested aid. Wanting me for… something. A task maybe.

For a moment a faded memory of church streaked into my mind. The phlegmatic preacher speaks of the dangers and sins brought upon us by the foolishness of man in trusting the terrible serpent. He warns all good servants of God to never be lead astray by fine words and comely appearance. For a moment I considered refusing the snake.

Then I remembered that priest's particular indiscretions and dismissed his advice out of hand.
"Whatever it is you want me to do. I accept." I told the serpent in no uncertain words. The impossible drop of blood floated over and annointed the head of the Serpent. My pains faded away. My wounds faded away. The world itself faded away

"It won't be easy." A soft, hissing voice said aloud, coming from behind me. Well, not quite hissing, more like vibrating. I... couldn't quite identify the gender of whatever had spoke.

"It never is for these types of things." I said aloud as I turned around to see what spoke. What I saw before me made me reflexively swallow, perhaps in fear, but I had already said what I meant. "What do you need me to do?"

 

[Useless Writer]

Before me, in this void beyond voids, stood what some people might have described as a snake person. That might conjure images of a human-like body bestowed with scales and a serpent's head, but they were the opposite. More like a snake centaur. Their bottom half the coils of a truly massive, blue and gold scaled serpent. The flesh where the two halves met melded seamlessly, the flesh of their stomach slowly tapering off into the scaled white underbelly of a snake. Patterns of scale took the vague shape of hieroglyphics in patches across the human portion that one could be forgiven for thinking of them as tattoos at first glance. Their flesh was… odd in color, not unnatural, but you couldn't really apply a race to it. Their skin was golden, but naturally golden lacking the harsh sheen of the metallic scales littering their lower body or the dull orangy vibe of fake tan. Their face was well defined, scales accentuating the high cheekbones and sharp jawline. Amber slitted eyes looked out from under a greenish eye shadow and the thick lines of kohl, though it didn't look like makeup on closer examination. Rather than hair they had a regal hood like what one might find on the head of a king cobra. Fine cotton linens adorned their body and hid the sight of any defining features, giving the hint of curves one moment and taut muscle the next.

Beyond their physical form there was… something more. I can't quite describe it, the closest one might come is to describe a blending of feelings. The solitude of the library, the cracking echo of a gunshot, the scent of a clean river, and the buzzing edge of power you'd feel standing next to an active power line. This being radiated power, terrible in it's strength but not unkind. I was torn between kneeling and bowing in respect and awe at the entity before me.

"You know not what is asked of you, yet you promise to complete the task anyway. A curious choice." The being said aloud. It's voice reverberating through my skin and tingling down my spine.

"It's only fair." I said with a swallow as I worked to summon the words forth from my unwilling throat. I don't know how I knew, but the moment I saw the entity I knew that it's acts had saved my life. The snake, the entrance to the ruins being revealed by it's pointing nose. "You already saved my life with the snake earlier. I honor my debts."

"A commendable trait, but I do not demand your service for having saved your life. It is in my nature to protect the lost and alone. But I am sadly in need of an agent in these lands and no other suitable beings have stepped forth." The entity said calmly, speaking with surety in every word."Doom has fallen upon these lands, and may very well fall upon your own home, should nothing be done."

"What form does this… uh, 'Doom' take?" I said as politely as I could manage. "There's already a lot of problems, any of which could result in total societal collapse…"

"The form it takes is mystical. An army of the risen dead is gathering in great numbers at the order of a long passed sorcerer king. While that ancient king who ordered the army's creation is no longer capable of commanding it. The generals he left in charge of it seek to fulfill their master's plans and seek his resurrection. If nothing is done he would carve a kingdom from the lands you call home, where the living are reduced to chattel serving their undying masters." The entity intoned.

"I mean no disrespect, but an army of the walking dead isn't as threatening to us, even those guided by a living mind would find the strength of our response… worrying to say the least." I said as I considered the idea of some portal opening and unleashing a horde of desiccated zombies only for them to be carpet bombed out of existence.

"Perhaps if they were the mindless flesh puppets of your people's stories. But the walking dead of these lands are by nature a stronger beast by far. I considered simply warning your peoples of the oncoming danger and tested a few cohorts of your people's army against a similarly sized force from the undead army. The results were… painfully in the Undead's favor. The undead are mummified, enchanted to be stronger and tougher then any mortal being has a right to be beyond their unnatural resilience, and wrapped in spelled linens that invalidate the usual method of destroying them with fire in addition to providing various blessings and combat spells." The entity said in a lecturing tone.

"That's… fair. But then how much aid could I possibly be?" I asked as I considered the unholy abominations I'd probably be facing in the future. " I don't even have a gun, how could I stop an army of the enhanced dead?"

" I did say it wouldn't be easy, but there are more than a few ways for you to even the odds. The undead are set to awaken ten years from today as your world counts the years, if you can destroy the awakeners before those ten years are up, then the army of the dead will never rise. You will be granted the power to work miracles in my name, which you will retain so long as you do not misuse them. In addition, the secular forms of magic in these lands are quite potent, should you muster the favor of the masters of the arcane, they would be quite happy to instruct you in the mysteries of their arts." The entity offered. It raised it's hand and a whirling mote of golden light formed in it's hand as it spoke of granting me power.

"I mean no offense by saying this, but that's a lot more reasonable." I sighed with relief. At least this likely wouldn't be completely impossible. "If I succeed, would it be possible for me to return home?"

The Entity paused for a moment, considering something before speaking again.

"I can send you home now if you wish. I understand that this is a lot to ask of anyone. You could very well die, for these lands are filled with dangers beyond the mundane." The Entity said. Curling their fingers inward slightly as if to take the power they offered back. I shook my head.

"There is nothing waiting for me back on Earth. Whereas here I could do some actual good with my life." I said, smiling slightly as I was thankful for the kind offer, but I was unwilling to turn down a real adventure. While it might be unpleasant, and will definitely make me late for dinner. This might be my one opportunity to live an interesting life while doing some good. Throw in guaranteed magical powers and you'd have to be crazy to turn it down. Or very boring and sensible at the least.

"Then yes. Once you have achieved your tasks in these lands, I will send you home, should you wish to leave." The Entity promised. The atmosphere around me thickened as the bargain was accepted. Slithering closer, which only impressed upon me how big the Entity was to me. I knelt and bowed my head as the Entity came to a stop before me. Knowing that this is how This Was Done.

Her hand was cool on the back of my head as she pushed the slightest spark of her essence into my being. I was marked by Marwa, Seneschal of Wadjet. She who guards the River's edge. She who taught Man to shape Flint and make of it Weapons. She who guides the lost to the River's edge. It is in her name that the wells were dug beyond the river's edge, to ease the goddess's task in saving the lost from death in the desert. That was the first purpose of the ruin I had found, but it had become more in the time since it's creation.

A heartbeat passed, and I woke back in the depths of the ruin. My wound had healed and the snake had coiled into a symbol of my new liege. I felt the barest echo of her presence within me.

It's funny, I'd never been a fan of playing the cleric. How things change.