[A/N: Chapter soundtrack: Marshmello - Silence Ft. Khalid]
RRRRRIIINNNGGGG!!!
"Here we go again... Empty. Void. A repetition of disappointment. A continuous cycle of expectation followed by letdowns. And yet another day of that... just another day in my life..."
Sighing heavily, his expression blank, Aybel calmly switched the alarm off.
With weary eyes hidden by round, black-rimmed glasses and a mismatch of tousled ash blonde and black hair, he sluggishly strolled to the kitchen.
Ah, breakfast... don't you just love how it has the power to turn a half-asleep zombie into a manageable member of society? ...Pure magic.
Sitting at the kitchen table, his younger sister bustled around whistling, as she prepared the first meal of the day - The aroma of burning bread wafting through the air...
How pleasant.
"Breakfast is served~" She carelessly slapped charred toast onto his plate.
"..." Aybel picked at his breakfast with a bleak expression.
"...Well done, Aria, and I mean it quite literally... Turning breakfast into a fire hazard, that is certainly a new way to keep our mornings interesting."
"
Weeeell, you do always complain your life needs some excitement sometimes. So there." She grinned with evil satisfaction.
"Consider this my contribution."
"..." Aybel's lips twitched, almost as if they were smiling.
"Indeed, but I'd really prefer my toast not to be charcoal this morning."
"Ehh!? You want it to
NOT be charcoal?" She mocked playfully.
"That is correct."
"Aw, fine." Pouting, Aria leaped onto the kitchen counter, swinging her legs childishly. "If you like it dull and boring, I guess I'll just stop toasting them altogether and just give you them as they are."
"That's not exactly wh-"
"So tired..." Cutting him off, she stretched her arms, then poured herself a cup of coffee.
Sipping her warm drink she switched topics. "So, did you finally finish reading Assault on Colossus?"
"Well, yes, but I found it interesting how the main character handled the finale of the story. By the way, may I ask why you drink coffee in the morning? Is it because you can't function without a cup of bitterness?"
PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT!!!
Aria spat out her coffee, shocked by the sudden comment.
His question was innocent and straightforward, child like even.
Coughing and wiping her mouth, she laughed nervously. "Ahaha... very funny, it's just for the caffeine. It helps me stay awake."
"But isn't caffeine a stimulant? Shouldn't you be more alert and lively then?"
"Nevermind..." She muttered, gaze drifting to a picture on the wall.
"Just shut up and eat your breakfast."
Conceding, he took a bite of the charcoal-like toast, chewing thoughtfully:
Hm? She seems annoyed, I wonder... did I say something wrong?
Yet, Aybel remained oblivious to her true emotions...
***
My everyday life is what most people would call bland... but far from normal.
As the final bell rang, Aria, detached from her surroundings weaved through the crowded hallway... in silence.
Why should I talk to anyone? It's not like they matter. None of them do...
I don't care if people bump into me, or if they ignore me, or even if some whisper behind my back... I have no friends, and I have no need for them.
I don't feel joy that it's the end of the day, I don't feel any excitement to go home. Not hope, not fear, when I think about it, I'm not sad either, I feel... well, nothing.
Scars traced their way across her body, forever hidden from her brother's understanding. And yet, numbness was her second skin.
Y'know... this world of ours is tiring, so predictable...
Her icy blue eyes, once full of life, were now a dull shade, hidden by dark circles.
It's almost like it's scripted. Hahaha~ think about it, every day, the same old routine, you go through the motions.
For me... sometimes, no one gives a second to think or breath. Every... day... is another chance for more pain, more humiliation and more misery.
Hah~ Depressing, isn't it? That's why I like to imagine a world different from ours.
Smiling faintly, she closed her eyes tracing her fingers along the lockers.
Sure... I'm a bit delusional or an escapist, but everyone does it one way or the other...
Suddenly, she laughed to herself sarcastically.
Or am I not entitled to feel like this? Is it so wrong of me to feel this way? Is it so wrong of me to wish things were different?
A world where I wasn't alone... a world that doesn't exist. It couldn't exist, right? Some perfect world that I'll never be a part of...
Her fingers moved to toy with the chain of her necklace.
There are people who are happy and have everything I wish I had, right? ...But that's just part of the beauty of wishing for things.
Well, I'll just move forward, anyway... one foot in front of the other, like a zombie trying to fit in, trying to pretend that I'm just like everyone else...
However, she didn't have to try so hard.
The sea of students seemed truly oblivious to her presence, shoving her aside as if she was air.
They never look at me, do they? I'm not even there, am I?
...Am I really that invisible?
"Hey, look who we have here..."
Eyes widened in sheer terror, Aria shuddered at the sound of the voice, regret coursing through her veins.
And then, almost like a switch, the numbness took over, her face became expressionless and her eyes turned dead.
Nina, a slender girl, with brown hair tied up in small twin buns, leading her usual group of friends, smirked as she playfully snuck up behind Aria, whispering in her ear:
"Aria Ito, the invisible girl~"
"What's up, freak?" Grabbing Aria's bag, Nina slammed it hard on her head as she walked by. "Hahahahaha~"
The cruel sound drew the attention of those in the hallway. But Aria just stared blankly at Nina, unfazed.
She hadn't even flinched when the bag crashed down on her head. Slowly, she picked it up with one hand and continued walking as if nothing had happened.
"..."
But Nina wasn't one to let her prey escape so easily.
With hands clasped behind her back, she trailed Aria from behind. "Wow. What, are you too afraid to talk, freak? Got nothing to say?"
"..."
Aria suddenly stumbled.
Seemingly unaffected by the sudden loss of balance caused by Nina's kick, she carried on with her robotic march, silent.
"That's what I thought. You don't have any balls to say anything. How pathetic."
"..."
"Can't believe they wasted a scholarship on a foreigner as useless as you, probably to save your family from embarrassment. Hahahaha~"
"But nah... Let's be real, you're probably just the result of a clerical error."
Her words had the desired effect, as laughter erupted from the group of two she led, accompanied by sly chuckles from bystanders.
"Hm? Hey, I don't like crowds. Let's get out of here."
Forcefully, she grabbed Aria's arm dragging her away from the hallway. "Come on, freak. Follow me~"
The crowd parted like the red sea as Aria allowed herself to be pulled into the bathroom by Nina, all the while her posse stood guard outside.
Not like Aria had any intention of escaping anyway.
Warily, Nina peeked the stalls one by one. "You must hate being in public spaces, huh? Me too."
"..."
"Aha!"
Once her last check was complete, Nina tossed her bag to the floor, it slid against the wall with a small humming sound.
She swivelled around facing Aria. A satisfied, yet calm smile rested on her face.
"How convenient. No one's here~"
She kicked Aria in the gut.
The latter fell to the cold floor curling into a ball, clutching her torso. Despite the pain, she didn't cry for help or beg for mercy.
"So. Let's hear it, freak. What do you have to say to me?"
"..."
"Tch. Why don't you say something, you psycho bitch!?"
THWAK!
Aria winced as her head hit the door of a bathroom stall.
...You know, she's right. You could've said something instead of just staying quiet like that... Take action and fight back.
And there it was, one of the many voices she wrestled with constantly, but this one in particular was quite persistent...
The Voice egging her on, urging her to fight back.
Pointless... Aria responded with resignation.
May I ask why?
You'll never understand. But I don't need your understanding... I don't need your pity or kindness either. Life is a play, and I the puppet... playing the victim... till the very end...
The Voice was clearly disappointed by Aria's response.
At this rate, they won't stop. They never will.
Exactly. So why even bother? Besides... shouldn't we be grateful? It could be worse...
The Voice sighed, discontented.
Pathetic... But, you are right, I suppose it is indeed pointless.
And with that Aria's thoughts came to a halt.
Nina cupped Aria's face into her hands, getting uncomfortably close, looking into her eyes. "Just admit it. You know it's your fault I'm mean to you. You... Her... You're all bad, bad people!"
Aria averted her gaze, looking at herself in the mirror. Her expression was flat, disinterested.
"I want to hear you say it out loud, freak. Say it. Say that you're worthless. You're nothing. You're just scum on the bottom of society. Go on. Say it."
"..."
"Admit it, freak! " Losing her temper, she struck Aria once more.
"You're trash! You'll never be loved by anyone! You're pathetic! You're ugly! You're worthless! You're pathetic! You're useless! You're stupid! You're disgusting! You're worthless! You're useless! You're stupid! You're a joke! Your life will never get any better! This is who you are! Forever!"
With each insult hurled, she kicked Aria in the shoulder again and again.
Breathing heavily, Nina stepped on the battered girl's head, pinning her down to the floor.
"Do you like this!?" She screamed. "Do you like it when I hit you!?"
Aria was too weak to react anymore now.
Releasing her foot, the viper-tongued queen bee, stared at Aria with a dead serious look. "I'm not going to repeat myself. Admit that you're worthless. Tell me that I was right all along. Say it, now."
Swaying from side to side, Aria's vacant eyes slowly moved up to meet Nina's.
Her voice was low, empty, without anger or defiance as the words came out: "...I'm sorry, you were... you were right all along. I am just... I am just a waste of time and space. I won't be a burden anymore."
"So why haven't you jumped off a bridge yet?"
Aria froze, wide-eyed.
Why?
The question rang in her head over and over again.
I hadn't... Because... I... didn't have the courage. But now...
A bleak smirk tugged at the corner of her lips.
It was as if a switch was flipped in her mind: Aria stood alone on the edge of an unknown bridge, the harsh lights of the wet city illuminated the space around her.
People walked by, some with friends and some alone. But they all ignored her presence.
She glanced down at the rushing river below. A sight that was strangely calming.
The thought of escape just a leap away.
However...
No. That's not why...
Something caught the corner of her eye, causing her heart to ache in her chest.
Perched on a ledge jutting out from the side of the bridge, a blurry figure of a young boy stood.
Dressed in a school uniform, sporting half tinted glasses, the wind tousled his hair as he cast a disappointed gaze on her...
I'm... I'm sorry...
A wave of guilt washed over her.
No, she couldn't jump. Not yet. This boy, this connection she couldn't sever.
The one person that still kept her tethered to this world. Despite her sleepless nights she painted a picture of sweet dreams whenever he asked.
Unbeknownst to him nightmares snuck their way into her daily life...
If he knew the truth... he'd never look at me the same way again. I don't want that.
Aria stared into the mirror. She was almost unrecognizable. It was hard to believe that this was the same person she saw in the mirror each morning.
This time a different Voice spoke through her reflection. One that always sent shivers down her spine:
And he doesn't have to know, wear the mask... until the day you die...
Aria shuddered.
"Oh? Did that hit a nerve?" Witnessing the crack in Aria's demeanor, Nina grinned with satisfaction.
"No way... you're actually crying? Crying is for babies. Hahahaha~" Aria's mind had gone blank staring at her reflection through the puddle on the floor.
Is that... mine?
Silent tears left crystal trails down her cheeks. The subtle sound of the dripping faucet in the background became muffled as her mind drowned it out.
What have I ever done to her? What did I do to deserve this? Was I born evil? Am I just a terrible person? Do I deserve to die?
Her thoughts spiraled into a rapid mess, as her grip on reality began to loosen.
Did I do something wrong? Did I upset her somehow? Maybe I do deserve to die. But I can't recall ever doing anything to her. So why...? Why...!? Why does she hate me!!?
Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat realizing the last sentence escaped her lips. But Nina's laughter only grew louder.
"You breathe, Aria," she replied with a cold grin. "That's all it takes to despise you."
In that moment, something inside Aria snapped.
THWACK!
Aria's bag struck Nina, sending her crashing into the tiled floor.
The unhinged girl grit her teeth into a terrifying grin.
Mounting the defenseless queen bee, she slammed her fist into Nina's face. The impact was painful but satisfying to her.
Hands moving like a blur, she punched, clawed, scratched Nina with a ferocity that ignored her slender frame. An oddly cute yet terrifying sound escaped her lips.
THUD!
Vision blurred, Aria collapsed to the floor, consciousness faded...
The other girl had grabbed her by the hair smashing her head right into a nearby basin.
Wiping her bloodied lip, the queen bee sluggishly rose to her feet.
"Haah... Haah... The hell? This little freak actually tried to fight back? ...I guess there's a first for everything. Anyway..."
"Don't you know women are talking here? You can come out now, you peeping creep..."
Nina looked in the direction of the chubby boy who suddenly emerged from a stall, hand in pocket.
"Ugh, I've seen better looking roadkill."
He looked away, embarrassed.
"What, you thought if you didn't move, the scary girl wouldn't see you?"
"..."
"Hold on." She grabbed him as he attempted to scurry away and pulled him closer.
"That girl over there." Nina glanced in Aria's direction. "Have some fun with her, and I mean
really have fun with her."
"..."
"What are you waiting for?! Isn't that why you're here, perv? No one's gonna stop you..."
Pushing the boy, Nina stared at Aria once more. "Come on, freak. Rise and shine. Show the world that you're something other than a waste of space."
To Be Continued...
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