In a Different Life (Legend of Korra AU)

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Korra used to be a champion. She was on top of her game. She had it all.

Three years have passed since then. After a car accident that left her with physical and mental scars, Korra turned to heroin to cope. Formerly a rising star in the world of women's soccer, she's now left destitute, alone and caught deep in the throes of addiction. Every time she believes she's hit rock bottom, something always drags her deeper and deeper down.

Just when all seems lost and she feels like she's run out of options…

A light shines within.
Chapter 1 - Hopeless in Seattle

Fen

I'm the Avatar, and you gotta deal with it!
Location
Colorado, USA
Pronouns
She/Her
This is a fic that I have crossposted to AO3, ff.net and SpaceBattles and decided to give it a try posting on here. It's my take on Korra in our world. Seattle instead of Republic City. A star athlete instead of the Avatar. And instead of recovering from mercury poisoning, grappling with the aftermath of a car wreck that saw her spiral into a poisoning of a different kind: drug addiction.

As you might be able to tell, there are going to be some very intense and potentially triggering subjects. There will be mentions of drug use, explicit depictions of drug use, depression, suicidal thoughts and needles to name some reoccurring ones, with more specific ones given before the chapters as needed.

With all of that being said, hope you enjoy!



Korra sat with her head in her hands, a sigh dropping heavy from her lips. People milled about the park bench where she slumped, voices chatting and laughing all around her, and yet she could barely hear them. From this spot at the top of Queen Anne hill, the iconic Seattle skyline was in full view: the prominent Space Needle right in front, the glistening waters of Elliot Bay to one side, the snow-capped Cascades in the distance. But all she could do was stare blankly ahead, her heart untouched by the city's splendor.

Three years. That's how many years of her life had been stolen away by addiction, and she was only now beginning to realize what that meant. Three years blurred together in an all-consuming, bleary-eyed haze that had almost made her forget everything, right down to who she was. Three years of money, of opportunities, of potential, of life – wasted.

God, how Korra wished she didn't know any of this. Korra would be lying to herself if there wasn't a part of her that just wanted to numb the pain all over again, take a hit, feel that high-

Korra rubbed at her face and groaned. Fuck. Just like a specter from the shadows lurking at the back of her mind, those thoughts kept coming and going, tempting Korra to jump right back into it. It would be so much easier to stop resisting and feed that ravenous beast that demanded more and more and more. It would be so much more comforting to forget how she had shambled from one stranger's place to another just to avoid sleeping on the cold, hard concrete. It would make her feel so much better to forget about how she let the people closest to her down: Mako, Bolin, her parents.

Asami. Korra took her head out of her hands, straightened up and cast a forlorn look at the neighborhood around her. Her house wasn't too far away from here. Korra could get up and be there in ten minutes, but it might as well have been on another planet for her. Korra could close her eyes and have fleeting memories of her old life - a different life - when she and Asami would hang out together after school and go for an ice cream at the place right around the corner from here, head to the gym or simply chill at her house to study for a bit.

None of that mattered anymore. Asami was much better off being far, far away from the world Korra had found herself in.

"Korra? Is that you?"

Korra jolted in her seat, the familiar voice shocking her out of her melancholic stupor. As if the action took all of the effort in the world, Korra turned around, craned her neck and found herself looking back up at Asami. She looked just as Korra always remembered her: long, silky raven hair flowing down to the middle of her back with those striking green eyes that always seem to shine with intensity.

Korra turned back around to look forward and sharply exhaled. No part of her was ready for this conversation. She was an absolute mess, inside and out. Asami was more than just perfectly put together, more than just beautiful and successful and -- and all the things Korra wasn't. More importantly, Asami also managed to still hold a special place in Korra's heart as one of the most precious people in the world to her, and having Asami seeing her like this was absolutely crushing. All she wanted to do was hide. Instead, Korra said in her tired, raspy voice, "What do you want?"

"What are you doing here," Asami asked, her voice filled with worry. "And where the hell have you been?"

Korra shifted around in her seat. What was she doing here? Korra should have known better than to come here, to expect that the answers to her woes would be here. Korra sighed deeply, her shoulders slumping as she said, "Around."

Asami scoffed. "Around? That's all you have to say after disappearing on me for six months?"

Korra heard the frantic steps of Asami's boots on the pavement as she walked around the bench and whirled around to face Korra. When Korra looked up at her, Asami stared down at her with her mouth stretched into a thin line and her arms crossed, her eyes boring into Korra's.

"I was worried sick that something bad happened to you. I asked your parents, I asked Mako, I asked Bolin. And yet here you are, showing up here out of the blue like nothing even happened." Asami huffed and added bitterly, "Guess I had nothing to worry about then, huh?"

Korra averted her gaze to look down at the back of her hands, focusing on the bits of her tattoos that poked out from the sleeve of her flannel shirt. Asami had every reason to worry about Korra. The path that Korra walked in was full of darkness and danger. The last thing Korra wanted, however, would be to drag her friend down into it, sully her good name with her sins.

Korra shook her lowered head as she mumbled, "You wouldn't understand."

Asami let out an exasperated sigh. "What is there to even understand, Korra? You never tell me anything anymore. All I hear from you anymore is half-assed excuses and lies."

If only things were that simple anymore, Korra could just tell Asami about her woes and things could get magically better. It was a stupid, naive thought. "Not everyone can live a perfect life like you can. I'm doing the best I can."

Asami hotly replied, "Bullshit! You just want to shut me out because your stupid pride thinks that I can't handle whatever you have going on."

Korra couldn't weigh Asami down with her numerous problems. Even as tough as it got, Korra needed to prove she could stand on her own two feet. Korra couldn't let herself languish in the past and be the same weakling she was back then. Korra clenched her jaw and coldly said, "There's nothing to handle, Asami. I don't need your pity."

Asami narrowed her eyes at Korra, her posture stiffened from barely concealed anger. "Really? Because there's nothing more pitiable than someone who used to be so strong, let one setback define her life and then use it as an excuse to keep throwing their life away."

The words struck Korra like a blow to the chest. A "setback," she said, as if having her body mangled, her mind shattered, having everything she had worked for snatched away from her in the blink of an eye wasn't a big deal. Korra found herself gripping the bench so tightly she trembled, looking back up to meet Asami's gaze with a fiery glare.

"How fucking dare you say that, after all of the shit we've been through!" In an instant, she sprung up from the bench and got right in Asami's face, snarling, "You wanna talk about pity?! You screwed Mako behind my back just to work out your pathetic daddy issues because you couldn't fill that void while I was down and out!"

Asami's eyes widened, her breath hitching as she stumbled backwards.

Korra, however, didn't relent as she stomped over to keep herself in Asami's personal space. "Hit a nerve? Go cry on Mako's shoulder or hit up your dad in the state penitentiary instead of trying to project all your problems onto me!"

Asami lost her balance and dropped to the ground trying to back away from Korra again. As Korra stood there with the blood rushing to her head, her ears ringing and panting for breath, she noticed that a small crowd had gathered around the two of them.

Korra looked back to the crowd and down at Asami, who was looking up at her with eyes gleaming with tears and her lips trembling. A pit of dread formed in Korra's stomach, just now realizing what she had done.

Korra began to stammer out, "A-Asami, I didn't-"

"Save it," she spat with a wavering voice. Asami picked herself off of the ground and faced away from Korra. "You're on your own now."

The world felt like it was dropping from under her as Korra heard those words. Even with as much as Korra felt her life slipping more and more out of control she couldn't imagine it would quite get to this point. Without Asami, she had nothing left.

Korra started briskly walking over to catch up with Asami and placed a hand on her shoulder, pleading with her, "Wait, Asami, please, I didn't mean it, I was-"

"Don't," Asami growled, swatting Korra's hand away. "I meant what I said. Goodbye, Korra."

Goodbye. The word rang over and over again in Korra's ears as she stared listlessly at Asami walking away. Seven years of friendship, of a bond that Korra thought could never be broken, now laid in pieces right before her very eyes.

Goodbye. Korra was struggling to keep her breathing steady. Everything tethering her to that old life was severed. There was nothing left for her to latch on to pull her out of her pit of despair.

Goodbye. Korra clenched her fists so hard she could feel the sting of her nails digging into her palms. It seemed no matter what she did, Korra was doomed to make the same mistakes, repeat the same vicious cycle, be the same broken mess.

Goodbye. There was nothing. Korra was nothing.

Korra crumpled to the pavement in a kneeling position, burying her hands in her face as all of the tears she had been fighting started coming out in broken sobs. It felt as if someone had a vice grip over her heart, smothering her with pain sourced from deep within her. Korra remained there doubled over without any sense for how much time was passing around her. Everything hurt so much, and she wanted nothing more than to make it all go away.

After what seemed like ages of sobbing on the ground, Korra gingerly picked herself up and shambled back over to the bench that she had been sitting at. Korra took her phone out of her jean pocket with shaky hands and caught a glimpse of her reflection distorted by the cracked screen.

There was nothing more left for Korra to do but to give in.
 
Chapter 2 - Despair, Dope and Desire
Since I've already written chapters 1-5, I have decided to sneak in chapter 2 in on the same day I put up chapter 1 as an extra treat. This chapter in particular is where things get pretty dark, so pay extra mind to the following content warnings: suicidal ideation, sexual harassment, explicit drug use, needles and
drug overdose
.




There she was, back in the same pit that she was always in. A week of sobriety was coming to an end, but it didn't matter. Nothing else mattered.

It was already dark outside by the time Korra found herself riding the bus to her next destination. Korra sunk herself into the upholstered seat, absolutely exhausted - from running around in a frenzy to get all her supplies, from the fight with Asami earlier that day, from the racing thoughts in her head.

The seat next to her was occupied by her black duffle bag with a purple W on the side. An old keepsake from better times, back when Korra had it all. Back when she would take the bag, hit up the locker rooms at UW and psych herself up for a soccer game.

If Korra were to unzip it right now, she knew what she would find instead of her soccer uniform: a beat up raincoat; ratty, worn clothes; some toiletries; and, beneath all of that, needles, a lighter, a metal spoon, a shoelace, alcohol pads, cotton balls and a bundle of small plastic baggies of heroin.

Korra hung her head, her eyes staring unfocused at a spot on the floor. No matter what she did, She was doomed to keep crawling back to the drug that has come to define her life. The promise that shooting up brought, of replacing all of the pain kept inside with that wonderful, warm state of bliss where none of it existed…

Korra took a shuddering breath. Somewhere in the back of her mind was the knowledge that going back was only furthering her ruin, but not even detoxing from it could dislodge the incessant cravings she was feeling for it. Korra needed the dope more than anything else in the world. She needed it so badly she could practically taste it in the back of her mouth as images of the meticulous steps - taking the powder out of the bag, stirring it on the spoon, cooking it with a lighter, drawing it up through the cotton, finding a vein on her arm to inject into - flooded her mind with startling clarity.

She wanted nothing more than to be free from this madness. Yet as much as Korra wished and wished and wished, it was hopeless. Everything else - her dreams, her relationships, the person she once was - were all gone, heroin and other assorted substances replacing the aching void that their loss had created.

Korra gripped her pant legs tightly, balling a bit of the denim into her fists. It wasn't fair. Nothing that happened in the past three years was fair. In another life, she would still have everything and be living her best life with all of the people closest to her. But that stupid fucking truck hit her, left her a weak, pathetic shell of her former self that could only feel anger or depression at the world around her.

More than anyone or anything else, however, Korra hated herself for all of this. She was the one who kept giving in and letting her life be run right into the ground by her habit.

But fuck it all, Korra was worthless anyways, so why bother holding back, why bother caring if she gave in and used?

Why bother to care about anything?

Korra slumped further into her seat and closed her eyes. Soon enough, it would be forgotten all over again. For just a little bit longer, she could lose herself to the abyss and not care how far she had fallen.




Rain poured down in a steady drizzle as Korra stood on the covered porch of a house, staring at it with trepidation. It wouldn't be the first time she had found herself here when all was lost and she was in need of a place to shoot up.

The place was nice enough, all things considered. There were some beer cans left out next to some plastic chairs on the porch, the floor was a bit dirty and there was miscellaneous crap in a few piles scattered around. However, the actual exterior of the house was in decent enough shape with no signs of decay.

Korra rolled her right shoulder to re-secure the duffle bag on it and shifted from side to side. She almost wished that she had chosen one of those dank, seedy motels she had frequented in the past, if for no other reason than to not have the shame of having to come crawling back to him again.

What could Korra even say at this point about Tahno? He was vain, selfish, smarmy, hedonistic - and yet somehow he kept managing to worm his way into Korra's life. If nothing else, he was reliable in a world full of instability. Reliably a prick, reliably a place to lay her head down for the night, reliably a dealer when the others would flake on her, reliably a source of income for when things got really desperate.

Sighing deeply, Korra walked up to the door and pounded on it, tapping her foot repeatedly while she waited for someone to get the door.

Before long, Korra heard someone start walking over to the door. The footsteps stopped as Korra waited a few more seconds before the door swung open, revealing the tall, slender figure of a man about Korra's age, with wavy jet black hair cut relatively short except for a lock of hair partially covering his right eye.

"Hey, look who decided to join us," he drawled, his lips curled up into a smirk.

Korra steeled her gaze and brushed right past him to get in the house. The last thing she was in the mood for was to entertain the likes of him.

Tahno chuckled a bit and said with a tone of mock hurt, "Ouch, that's pretty cold, sweetheart. No love for your favorite customer?"

Two men seated on one of the couches in the living room - Tahno's bandmates Ming and Shaozu - started chuckling a little bit while a woman nodding off on the adjacent leather seat didn't have much of a reaction.

Korra bristled at the remark, her posture stiffening as she stopped for a second. "I'm not dealing with your bullshit tonight, Tahno."

Korra threw her duffle bag over to the unoccupied couch and started unzipping her raincoat. She turned around to give Tahno a glare and added, "All I'm here for is getting fucked up and forgetting I even know you."

"Feisty as always." Tahno casually walked over to Korra, getting closer to her until he was only a few inches apart from her. He looked down at her, his gaze slowly making its way upwards - lingering a bit when it got to her chest - until he met Korra's eyes. His expression seemed lackadaisical and smug on the surface, though there was a glint of something else behind it.

Tahno gave a pat on Korra's shoulder, whispering into her ear, "Just remember not to push your luck, okay?"

Korra started feeling her body quivering with rage, her nostrils flaring, her jaw clenching tight, her right hand curling and uncurling into a fist. It took everything in her power not to just deck him in his stupid fucking face right then and there. She could do it. Out of practice or not, Korra could show this creep what for and give him something else to remember her by.

Tahno didn't budge as he stared at her in amusement and laughed. His posture was not the least bit defensive and he kept his eyes fixed on Korra's. "You're not going to do it. I know you too well."

Korra was glaring daggers back up at him. He was wrong. He didn't know anything. He was nothing to Korra. He was a sleazy scumbag who only wanted her for her body. She had burned so many bridges already. She could do it. She could do it.

Korra could feel her resolve faltering the longer she kept staring up at him. She exhaled sharply, looking away from Tahno.

Of all people to keep around, why did it have to be him? Not Asami, not Mako, not Bolin, not her parents, but someone whose bond was forged out of desperation and necessity for a life on the streets. That's all it was to Korra, nothing more. He was nothing to her.

It was all she had. It was all she was good enough for.

Korra turned away from him with her shoulders sunken in. She couldn't do it.

"See?" Tahno said as he stepped back around to look at her. "You know your place deep down. That's why it's fun having our little song and dance."

Tahno opened his mouth to say something else before being interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He backed away from Korra and brought the phone out of his pocket. His face changed from smugly content to annoyed.

"I gotta take this." Tahno briskly walked over to the front door and added on his way out, "Have fun in la-la land, darling."

Korra stomped over to the couch, put her duffle bag on her shoulder and started walking over to the bathroom. She slammed the door shut behind her.

Fuck everything. Whether she lived, whether she died, Korra just didn't care anymore. All that she could care about is feeding that burning desire, the one that led her here in the first place, the only thing that mattered anymore.

She dropped the duffle bag on the floor and quickly unzipped it, fishing for all of the contents that lay at the bottom and laid them all out by the sink.

First, Korra took the bundle of plastic baggies, undid the rubber band and took three of the bags. She opened them and emptied the fine white powder onto the spoon that lay right beside the needles.

She took one of the needles and uncapped it, turned on the faucet and drew enough water to fill the entire barrel. She squirted the water onto the powder and stirred with the tip of the needle until the dope more or less dissolved into the water and turned a light brown.

Then, Korra tucked her left hand into the sleeve of her flannel shirt and used it to grip the spoon while putting the barrel of the needle in her mouth and grabbing the Bic lighter with her right. Holding the spoon steady between her thumb, index and middle finger, she ignited the lighter and held it underneath the head of the spoon, the resulting mixture bubbling and darkening from the heat.

After the solution was done cooking, Korra quickly put down the lighter and grabbed a cotton ball and dropped it onto the spoon. She took the needle out of her mouth, drew up the liquid from the cotton and turned it upside down to flick at the barrel to get rid of the air bubbles.

This was it. This was the sum of her existence. A poison that had ravaged her mind so thoroughly, yet one that held the allure of the sweetest ambrosia.

Korra tore open one of the alcohol pads, started wiping the tip with it and took a seat on the toilet. She put the needle's barrel back in her mouth and rolled up her right sleeve, getting the shoelace and tying it around the crook of her elbow. She clenched her fist and looked at her arm for a vein to inject into, searching among the landscape of track marks.

After a minute or so of looking, Korra found one bulging out and took the needle out of her mouth, positioned it at a 45 degree angle from the vein and jabbed it. She pulled the plunger up, the brownish liquid inside turning a shade of crimson.

All that was left was to plunge it back down. Without a hint of hesitation, Korra did so until all of the solution disappeared into her arm. She promptly took the needle out and set it aside on the counter, waiting for the imminent wave of pleasure.

Korra would only have to wait a few more seconds before her entire body was overtaken in an overwhelming rush of pure warmth and joy. It was nothing short of orgasmic, and kept crescendoing and crescendoing into unbelievable heights that made her feel she had been blessed by gods, spirits, something divine. All of the bad thoughts swirling in her head were consumed in this heavenly rush.

However, this slice of heaven was dampened by a burning sensation throughout her body, prickling her arms and legs like pins and needles. Everything seemed to slow down as Korra tried to draw a breath that seemed to take everything in her.

Before she could even process what was happening, everything turned black.


As if no time passed at all, Korra's eyes fluttered open, straining to make sense of the varying sensations and sights that she was suddenly being subjected to.

The first thing that Korra noticed was that somehow, she was on her back. Where was she? All of the sounds and voices around her sounded extremely muffled, like she was hearing them from underwater. Who were these people, what was going on, why wasn't she able to get up?

Slowly, Korra was starting to process all of the various stimuli around her. The object she was laying on was a gurney and she was strapped snugly into it. She was inside of an ambulance, with paramedics to either side of her.

A sense of dread creeped within her, compounding the nauseating feeling in her gut. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened. She had overdosed.

The paramedic to her right - an older blonde woman with brown eyes - noticed that she was awake and let out a long sigh before saying, "You're really lucky someone found you, kid. You were blue and didn't have a pulse when we found you."

No pulse. No life. Dead.

Korra closed her eyes, the weight of the situation sinking in like lead in her heart. What could have been her last few moments on earth would have been so pleasant, so peaceful a note to have gone out on.

So why, then, did her eyes fill with tears at the thought of not seeing tomorrow?
 
Chapter 3 - Happier Times
Asami sighed as she sat at her desk and stared out the window of her office, distractedly twiddling a pen in her hands. She had to get ready for her meeting with her fellow executives about the ideas she and her team had in the works. Trying to piece it all together in her head for the presentation, however, was proving rather difficult, like she was trying to pluck specks of dust out of thin air.

She should be feeling confident enough to do this. This wasn't new to her at all. Apart from her time interning in college for this very company, Asami had plenty of experience with sitting in on corporate meetings and suiting up in a jumpsuit to get into the literal nuts and bolts of various cars and motorcycles before she had even graduated high school. Such was the life of being the would-be heiress of Future Industries.

That never turned out to be. There wasn't even a Future Industries to inherit after all that had happened in the last several years. Instead, Asami had to keep moving forward, forge her own path out of the ashes.

Though she kept moving forward in the business world, there was very much one aspect of her life that wasn't so easy to move forward from.

Korra.

Asami put down her pen and started massaging her temples. Even a week later, over and over again, that argument replayed in her head, dredging up those raw emotions that had been buried underneath a sea of paper and late nights at the office.

Why? The question repeated itself over and over in her head like a broken record, getting louder and louder the more Asami's thoughts went back to it. Why did Asami find her so close to her house, after months of no texts, no calls, nothing, like their friendship wasn't even worth a simple two word text of "I'm alive." Why, in all of her stubbornness, did Korra insist she was fine when she had dropped out of school, got kicked out of her parent's house and looked so disheveled and broken? Why did she accuse Asami of doing something so underhanded and nasty as infidelity when Korra was hardly forthcoming about explaining her own deceptive and manipulative behavior?

Why did someone that Asami had cherished hurt her so much?

Turning her attention back towards her desk, Asami's eyes instinctively went towards the framed picture that lay next to the dedicated spot where she put her laptop. It was the two of them standing in front of a Christmas tree, Korra's long hair in her trademark three ponytails, her arm around Asami's shoulder and grinning broadly with her eyes shut while Asami was wearing a more subdued but equally enthusiastic smile. She stared longingly, the picture transporting her thousands of miles away from the present.

Asami's teeth chattered as she hugged herself to brace against the absolutely frigid air. Even with several layers of clothes, a long wool overcoat and fur-lined leggings underneath her jeans, the biting chill crept in as she soldiered through the snow-covered streets.

Korra chuckled as she looked at Asami, looking completely unbothered by the weather. "What, you aren't getting cold feet, are you? It's only ten below outside."

Asami groaned before replying with, "Remind me why I traveled ten hours on a plane with you just to hear jokes like that."

"'Cause I'm great and you know it."

The town that surrounded them had semblances to any other small American town - grocery stores, restaurants, a bank, a police station, churches. There were Christmas lights strung up around many of the buildings, adding a bit of color to the faint nighttime glow from the streetlights. However, the darkness that was normal for this time of night was the same darkness that greeted them when they woke up this morning, with only a brief respite in the form of a few hours of twilight earlier in the day. The homes stood elevated above concrete pilings, worn but still standing strong against the extreme elements. Standing as the solitary outpost of civilization among an infinitely vast tundra, Utqiagvik, Alaska - or Barrow, as most people still called it - was a place of extremes. Extremely cold (as Asami was all too aware of), extremely isolated, extremely rugged. Nonetheless, there was a tangible element of serenity to be found from the extremes, giving the town its own unique beauty.

Korra let out an easygoing sigh, looking around her at the surrounding structures. "I have so many memories of this place."

She pointed behind them with her thumb. "I used to sneak out for some joyrides on our snowmobile out in the open tundra. Used to race some of the kids too. Guess who always came out on top?"

Asami hummed. "If you race snowmobiles like you do motorcycles, not you."

"Hey! I only lost that one race because I was still getting used to the throttle on your company's new bike."

"And the one after that?"

Korra huffed. "I claim interference from Mako. He distracted me."

"All the way from the bleachers? Someone had their mind in the gutter," Asami teased.

Korra crossed her arms and scoffed with faux indignation. "Whatever. I can still easily beat you one-on-one on the pitch!"

Asami laughed, mock exaltation in her voice as she said, "You got me there, Miss Soccer Champ. Truly, no one can compare to your greatness."

"That's more like it. I knew you'd come around."

Though Asami couldn't see Korra's face behind her scarf, she could easily imagine that she was wearing that endearing crooked and toothy grin of hers. Asami couldn't help but smile as well, feeling ever so slightly warmed against the relentless cold.

Despite the jokey nature of their conversation, there was an undeniable truth to it all. Korra was great. A great friend, a great athlete, all-around great person. Much like the town she was from, she was very much a diamond in the rough.

The fact that Asami was all the way up here with Korra - almost literally on top of the world - felt special in and of itself. Korra and her parents were up here to see their old family friend Katara and her daughter Kya for the holidays. Though the two families weren't related by blood, Asami could tell that they shared quite the close bond with each other based on how personable they were with each other and the lengthy exchanges about their lives. She had noticed too that as soon as they stepped off the plane, many of the townspeople had given friendly greetings and talked about the good old days when Korra's father Tonraq had been the mayor, Senna had been teaching at the local community college and Korra was their rambunctious, adventurous little girl.

It was the sense of family Asami wished she still had.

As if they had come from the depths of a murky sea, memories from years prior and more recently resurfaced. Her father talking in hushed tones with shady suited men when he thought she was asleep, Asami being woken up to the sounds of sirens and police kicking down their door, the resounding sound of the gavel as the verdict was read out.

Asami's breath shuddered and started blinking rapidly, feeling like she had just been socked in the gut.

" —and over back that way's where—" Korra stopped mid-sentence as she looked back over at Asami. "You okay, Asami?"

"Y-yeah. Fine," Asami replied, her voice pitched upwards and strained.

"You sure? The cold isn't getting to you, is it? I can have Kya come pick us up."

"It's…not that." Asami shook her head and cast her glance downwards.

Korra stopped walking to match Asami. She put a hand over Asami's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"My father…"

A silence filled the air as Asami trailed off and stood as stiff as a board, her mind remembering the empty house she would come home to once this vacation was over. Empty save for her, a shrine to her mother and the crushing sins of her father.

Korra started gently rubbing her shoulder, her deep voice turning soft and tender as she whispered, "It's okay. Let it out."

Like floodgates being opened up, Asami started weeping as her sorrows coursed through her. The very thought that someone so close to her had done all the terrible things he had done - extortion, blackmail, smuggling weapons, unrepentant assaults and killings done in his name - and claimed it was all for her and her mother's memory made Asami feel that much more tortured about the whole situation.

"I-I'm s-so sorry, Korra, we were having such a good time and then-" Asami's stuttering, rapid-fire response got cut off with another sob.

"Shh, you're going to be okay. Breathe." Korra enveloped Asami in a hug, the firmness of her grip a testament to her physical prowess. Belying her brawn and bravado was the care she took in continuing to gently stroke along Asami's back, testifying to the inner strength of her kind-hearted nature.

In the depths of her anguish, Korra was Asami's lifeline to keep her from going completely adrift. Even as more memories kept barraging her, Asami remembered to breathe, to listen to the soothing reassurances Korra was repeating to her, to take solace in her comforting touch.

Eventually, Asami had calmed down enough that her sobbing had trickled down to sniffling, though she dared not to let go from Korra. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the mood."

"You don't ever have to apologize for that. I know this isn't an easy time for you and shit's really crazy right now. It's why me and my parents invited you up here. We couldn't stand for you to be alone for the holidays."

Korra snorted as she added, "That and Mako's kind of a baby when it comes to the cold. Los Angeles boy through and through."

Despite the previous solemnity of the moment, Asami couldn't help but give a small chuckle at her quip being at Mako's expense - and the truth of it. She remembered his incessant griping when the weather went below forty when they had dated.

Korra's tone shifted back to sincere as she said, "But seriously, I'm always here for you, Asami. You'll get through this. You're tougher than you give yourself credit for."

"Thank you, Korra. Thank you so much." The waterworks threatened a return as Asami gave Korra another firm squeeze.

Korra gave Asami one last pat on her back before letting go. "Here. Why don't I show you one last thing on our tour here and we can call it a night. I promise it's really worth it."

She once again led the way as the two of them walked through the small central part of the town until they came across a small clearing that led directly to the would-be waterfront of the town. Beyond an abandoned wooden house stood an arch, the skeleton of canoes and a small pile of bones.

"The arch is made from some whale bones," Korra explained. "Whaling is still a big deal around these parts. We throw a big festival to celebrate the hunt called Nalukataq. The whole town comes to get their whale meat and maktak - meaning blubber. There's a bunch of traditional dancing and games, but the main event is the blanket toss. It's this big old blanket hoisted up on some rope and some poles, someone gets on, a bunch of us grab it, lift it up, pull it taut and woosh! Tossed in the air!"

Korra laughed heartily, the mirth in it warming the frigid air. "Good times. I didn't drag you out here just for another trip down memory lane. Look up."

Korra's voice guided Asami as she looked up at the sky above. The entire sky was alight with stars, seemingly infinite in their scope as they twinkled in every direction and coalesced into a dizzying array of constellations. The light of the full moon gave just enough light to see a sliver of the frozen ocean, similarly vast and never-ending in its scope. Most impressive of all were the brilliant green lights of aurora that crisscrossed the night sky like ribbons, dancing and shimmering.

Asami gasped as she stood enraptured by the beauty of it all. "Wow…"

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

A pleasant silence fell between them as they wrapped arms around each other's shoulders and took in the striking scenery. There didn't need to be any more words wasted on the serenity of that moment, where not even the arctic chill could drown out the swells of warmth welling within Asami.

Asami finally looked up from the picture with a forlorn look on her face, thrust back to the harsh reality of the present day without Korra. Four years had passed since that trip. It felt like it was just yesterday that she was up there – and yet those happy memories felt like they had been made a lifetime ago.

What Asami wouldn't give to have it all back, to wish that Korra wasn't on that stretch of highway at that time of night, to wish that she didn't have to see Korra suffer, to wish that Korra was still able to be in her life and be that wonderful, spirited person she used to be.

Asami squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't be thinking about this anymore, not when there was always so much work to be done, so many people relying on her, so much pressure to keep it all together.

Opening her eyes and blinking away the tears that threatened to spill out, Asami reached for her purse and fished her compact mirror and various components of her makeup repertoire out of it. Just like she would before any other meeting, she opened the mirror and checked her face for anywhere that would need touching up. She grabbed the tube of dark red lipstick and applied a fresh coat on her lips, pursing them and rubbing them together to spread it around. After capping the tube and putting it back into her purse, she used a powder brush, dabbed it into the face powder and powdered her nose and cheeks. Finally, she applied some concealer to the dark bags under her eyes that were starting to poke through and around the smudged bits of eyeliner.

After putting away makeup back into her purse, Asami gathered the papers that were piled up next to her computer and neatly tucked them into her briefcase. She took one deep breath, forcing her mind to think about the concepts she and the team had drafted up for a new car rather than the churning pit of emotions that lay underneath her composed exterior.

She got up from her chair and started making her way to the conference room, the steady clacking from her heels resonating as a rhythm that guided her forward to her destination. Forward, the hardest direction to move when a big part of Asami's life was missing.

Somehow, Asami got through the meeting without a hitch. At least, none that were so easily detected. Her heart wasn't quite in it, but she had faked enough enthusiasm when it came her turn to present to not arouse any major suspicion; the only indication that anyone noticed anything at all was a comment that she looked a bit out of it during some of the other presentations, which she shrugged off as being a bit tired.

The only reason she had even been able to fake the enthusiasm at all was thinking about her dedicated crew. All of her engineers and researchers who had poured their hard work in making the R&D department what it was. They all depended on her to make sure their needs were being met from the higher ups. There wasn't any room at the boardroom table for her self-indulgent problems.

As she walked back into her office, Asami took her phone out of her purse and it automatically lit up after she had put it up to her face. At first glance, there were a few missed calls and some texts while she was in the meeting. Strangely enough, they were all from a number that she didn't have on her phone. Perhaps it was just a spam caller and somehow-

Asami immediately stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw the area code of the number: 907, Alaska. It wasn't a number in her contact list - or rather, it wasn't one that was in it anymore. Yet there would be no mistaking it for anyone else given the years' worth of communication Asami had with this number.

The phone had gone back to sleep before she had a chance to read the texts. Her heart was thumping in her chest, her mouth suddenly parched. Was this going to be another apology that she was going to see? One that came after yet another fight, Korra saying she let her temper get the better of her, she would make it right, excuse after excuse given?

Her hand shook as she squeezed the phone, roiling anger coursing through her at the thought. Another half-assed sorry wasn't going to undo the damage. It wasn't going to make Asami forget how many times Korra had taken things out on her, getting pissy and moody over the smallest things and taking it out on Asami when she tried to delve into the reasons behind her behavior. It wasn't going to make Asami forget all the times she had lent money in good faith to Korra for school supplies, only to find out that her going back to school was a giant lie and she went and did god knows what with the money. It wasn't going to make Asami forget the time Korra had flaked on her graduation; the only explanation given was some sort of drunk text that Asami could barely even decipher.

She would be better to just block her number and throw the texts into the trash bin where they would belong. Asami unlocked the phone, went into the messaging app and was prepared to delete the conversations without a second thought. However, Asami's eye got caught on one word that stopped her finger from pressing the delete button.

Hospital.

A pit settled itself deep in her stomach. Her eyes frantically scanned the texts, her dread only growing as she read them.

you there?

just got discharged from hospital, harborview

i need you to pick me up

i don't know what to do

you're the only one i knew to call

please help me

Please help me. Three words and it was all Asami could see in front of her. Not the office around her, not the phone in her hands, just "please help me" in Korra's voice.

Without regard for anything else, Asami grabbed her purse and booked it out of the office, ignoring the concerned calls of her employees as she rushed over to the parking garage.
 
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