Chaos and Order are two sides to the same coin. The uncontrolled discord of the former are guided by unseen systems of the latter, and the latter's overt systems are shaken off balance by interupptions of the former. The cosmos itself was a machine built on these two foundations, two systems diametrically opposed yet inseperably linked. There were many who argued for an against either side of this dicotomy, but a proper answer to the question of which was the true guiding force over reality was one that would never find a true answer.
In the grand vastness of the cosmos, one thing was for certain: There was no such thing as 'impossibility'. Only 'Improbability'.
So one can only imagine the sheer, unbridled panic that had beset the Council of Terra, the greatest and most powerful magic users and Heroes of the backwater world of Terra, when the biggest improbability of their world's history manifested.
---
Councilor Nyro paced back and forth just outside of the main council meeting chamber, the rest of his fellow councilors babbling amongst each other in barely contained panic as to the.....
thing that had arrived unnanounced and unexpectedly within their meeting room. It had been asleep upon arrival, and after getting over the initial shock, they had quickly and unanimously poured their power into producing a Containment Shield around the creature. The second it had awakened, however, it began to make the most bonechilling of sounds, and they had all rushed outside of the chamber to call in reinforcements to deal with the....unexpected arrival.
"We must kill the bastard before the rest of its kind finds out its here!" One, a mottled dog-man demanded.
"Are you mad, fool!? Our magicks have hidden it from their eyes, but killing it
will alert them to us and our peace will be gone for sure! Best we wait for the specialist to come in to deal with this." Another, a feline eared and tailed woman of dark, tattooed skin hissed at her colleague for even suggesting such a suicidal propesition.
"Must we bring the damn Magi into this?" A third, diminutive long eared and green skinned humanoid asked, clearly perturbed by their decision to call in outside help.
"If we want this taken care of quietly and without any chance of alerting its people-" Nyro stated, even as he continued his pacing to keep his own nerves calm. The unicorn male was feeling his age due to his anxiety regarding what had transpired, but he did not become head of the council for the last three centuries by giving into panic, which his pacing was helping him keep in check as he voiced his reasoning to his fellow council members. "Then getting the Magi involved is not only the smart option, it is the
only option." Even as he said this, however, Nyro narrowed his eyes. He and his fellow councilors, like most of the other peoples of the cosmos, were attuned to magic, the magic of Mana, the life force of the cosmos. They were naturally able to draw on it to use their powers, their culture having long since found the perfect balance of tapping into it without harmfully draining the world around them of its life.
But the Magi were no Mana magicians. No, theirs was another power, for they drew strength from the under-foundations of Reality itself. The Void, the Nothing, the Empty, or as it was most commonly known as, the Aether. With Mana, a wizard or sorceress could bend the world around them to their will, to change the spirit of the laws governing the universe to suit their needs. But a Magi, using Aetherworks, had no such limitations, once they had mastered their power and grew in strength over the centuries. Magi did not change the world by shifting its energies and rearanging its elements. They
rewrote the world, altered it completely and turned it anew. They did not change the spirit of the laws of the world, they changed the letters of the laws themselves.
So it was of the greatest irony that such power, such terrifying beings, were wholly on the side of their fellow Mortals, swornd to use their powers to protect them from things beyond Mortal comprehension. They were, in the simplest of terms, completely on the Council's side. This did nothing to put the councilors at ease, however.
"I still can't believe we have to rely on those freaks for this." The youngest of the council, also ironically the physically largest, was a well muscled minotaur who huffed and chafed at the idea.
"Our feelings on the matter are irrelevant." Nyro stated grimly. "They are our only option, so they are what we will call upon-" Before anything further could be spoken on the topic, the doors to the outer council chamber opened, causing the entire council to become silent save the never ending wailing from within the inner council chambers of the intruder. Stepping through the door way was the Magi they had requested, sooner than they'd expected, and one whom Nyro was especially familiar with. Looming taller than everyone save the Minotaur, shrouded by a cloak that left his armored legs to move freely and with his helmeted head upright and imperious, was Magi Guyial.
To an outsider, Guyial had a notable similarity to Nyro's own people, the Unicorns: He was a bipedal, even-toed equine man with a horn. The similarities began and ended with the shape, however, for the details spoke of another story. Even with his armor and cloak, Nyro made note of his hooves, or perhaps paws were more accurate, for even armored the detailing of the armor spoke of a fusion between wolf paws and ungulate hooves. His tail, though hidden by his cloak, was like that of a lion instead of a horse, and his head ,while distinctly equine, was with a much shorter snout, the helmet's visor hiding slit-pupiled eyes. What wasn't hidden, however, was his horn which poked out of his helm. Where Nyro's own was like a spiral of glass, Guyial's was straight and sharp-edged like a blade, and made of an opague purplish-red crystaline material. The internal anatomy was more alien and bizarre still, with redundant organs and nervous systems and a skeleton that had proven to be quite unbreakable even by the most powerful of foes.
Foes like the Elder creature whose skull Guyial kept strapped to his cloak back like a grotesque trophy, with only the council's incredibly age and power keeping their eyes from bleeding at the sight of it.
"Finally, you're here." The cat woman of the council declared as she moved over to explain to him the situation. "We-" She didn't get to say a further word as Guyial sidestepped her and moved without slowing down in his calm, long stepped strides towards the inner council chamber where the problem lay. Where they others murmured to themselves of Guyial's rudeness or of his trophy, Nyro's focus was in Guyial's posture. He had seen and worked alongside the ancient Magi enough times to recognize his body-language even in full armor. So it was disconcerting to him when he realized that Guyial's body language and movement was not of someone in a hurry or in grim tidying, but of a brisk, calm pace, like he was going for an evening stroll rather than about to deal with the greatest threat in Terra's history.
Nyro said nothing, however, for whatever the reasoning Guyial had to be so calm, the truth of the matter was that it didn't matter as long as the problem was dealt with. Everyone buy Nyro stepped back as with an unseen willing of his power, Guyial gently opened the doors to the inner sanctum, head still held high as he moved towards it. His pace finally picked up, however, when he heard the cries from within. Not a full run, but now a dedicated power walk forwards. Only Nyro, as head of the council, followed, having a duty to oversee the proceedings that would follow.
He stayed as far as he could while still having a good view as Guyial stopped before the extremely dense mystical dome surrounding the creature at the center of the meeting chamber table where it had suddenly appeared from nowhere in the middle of a session. Guyial stood there gazing at the energy dome for only a moment, so dense with layers it was fully opague in color, letting out only the sounds from within. In any other context, the energy barrier could withstand the concentrated force of an entire mountain being dropped from orbit down upon it and not even budge. So it was to Nyro's infinite dread and discomfort as he watched Guyial and his elderitch powers of the Aether casually grasp the barrier with a single hand, its spherical surface bending like cloth at his touch, and casually just.....removing it. Every layer, all in a single swift, casual motion, like removing a blanket and tossing it aside, though most blankets didn't fizzle into nothing as they were torn asunder.
The tiny creature within was now fully visible, and its cries only increased exponentially involume and frequency at the sight of Guyial. Nyro fully expected the ancient being to end the horrid sounds with a fatal motion, or to at least cast some sort of audio dampening field to force silence into the room. Instead, he stared at the crying creature for several seconds, quirking his head the way his kind did whenever they found something strange or interesting. What happened next, Nyro couldn't understand in the slightest.
With an extension of his power, Guyial placed his Elder skull trophy into dimensional storage, before removing his helmet to reveal his purple furred face and pink slit-pupiled eyes. He placed the helmet upside down to the side of the creature, before grasping his cloak, a remnant of his ancient culture from a world and reality far from Nyro's own.....and unceremoniously tore it from its placement securing it to his armor. He took his cloak and began to gently wrap the creature in it, face gentle as he murmured soothing words in his native, Hellinistic sounding tongue to the creature. This gentle murmuring seemed to have an effect, as the bawling got quieter and quieter until it finally stopped entirely. Smiling a warm, paternal smile down at the creature, Guyial finished wrapping it up and then placing it in his helmet like a bizzarly shaped crib. The tiny creature babbled and reached out a jet black hand, tiny and weak, towards Guyial's face. He just smiled as he lifted up his helmet to bring the creature closer to his face to allow it to honk his nose.
As Nyro continued to watch in shock, Guyial took a moment to continue to play with the most dangerous thing to ever grace Terra's surface. Without a word of acknowledgement to Nyro, the larger equinoid swiftly turned on his digits to face the door and began to make his way back out.
As he reentered the outer chambers, the rest of the council were quick to rationalize what they were seeing.
"Look, he's calmed it so it cannot signal the others-" One said.
"He's taking it away from here so he can end it and destroy the evidence far from our meeting place-" Spoke another.
But Nyro knew better. Moving as swiftly as he could to move alongside Guyial and look as though he was escorting their sudden guest out, As soon as they were far enough away to not be heard, Nyro hissed at Guyial.
"What are you doing?!"
"I am dealing with the problem." Guyial answered cryptically, his voice deep and smooth.
"You're-"
"
I said, I am dealing with the problem." The edge that was now suddenly in Guyials voice casued Nyro's words to die in his throat. He stopped just at the entry way that led directly outside, watching helplessly as Guyial took the creature and left. There was nothing he could do. Even if he somehow had the power and skill to stop Guyial, the fact of the matter was that Guyial was the only one who could get rid of the little beast without leaving evidence or the death being detected by his people. Powerless and unable to do anything about the situation, Nyro took a breath to try and calm his frayed nerves, and decided to leave it as it was. The Magi had decided how he would handle this, and now Nyro could only wait and pray to whatever dieties would listen that they would not pay for that choice. Oh, how he would pray.
---
Mortimore yawned as he got up out of his bed and got ready for the day. He got himself washed, clothed, fed, and ready to begin another day tending to his farm. It was a small thing, hardly able to turn a profit, but it kept Mort and his neighbors fed and that was enough for him. As the dog-man scratched his snout as he looked over his gardening tools, a knock at the door caught his attention. He wasn't sure how to describe it other than the most polite knocking he'd ever heard, at least in these rural parts where rough-housing and name calling were synonyms for friendliness.
"Martha, we expecting anyone?" He called to his wife his ears perked up and twitched as the knocking occured once again after a moment of silence.
"No Morty, but maybe it's one of the neighbors looking to give back somethin' they borrowed!" Mortimore scoffed to himself. Like hell anyone around these parts would give back a tool except as an afterthought, but who knew. Maybe it was one of his neighbors come to give him back something of his they borrowed.
The knocking came a third time.
"Hold your Chicabows, Jackie, I'm comin'." Mortimore called out as he reached the door and opened it.....and found himself staring at nothing but the cobble stone road outside. Blinking, Mortimore looked to his left and right, wondering to himself if this was one of his friends playing a prank on him when a polite cough came from below. Looking dowards, the 6'5 Mortimore realized he was looking at the strangest sight he'd ever did see: There, reaching up to just past his waist, with a round, well knit purple-black cloak covering its body and a large, styalized swept-back purple-black wizard hat on its head, was a diminutive creature with black furless skin, a short puppy-dog snout, emerald green eyes with slitted pupils, and ears long enough to give a Goblin a run for their money.
"Hello, my good sir!" The critter stated in a scratchy, distinctly male voice. Mortimore said nothing for a brief moment as he took in and processed the sight, before he called over his shoulder.
"Martha, there's some kinda....some kinda....some sorta deformed child here." The critter narrowed his eyes at the words Mortimore spoke.
"That's nice dear!" His wife called from her sewing room upstairs.
"Pardon me, sir, but KE-er, I am not a child." The little guy stated bluntly.
"....Are....Are you sure you're not a kid?" Mortimore pressed, still unsure of what he was looking at. For a moment, the little critter's eyes went wide with anger.
"KEVIN IS NO CHILD-BABY!" He declared in his scartchy voice, loud and indignant, politeness giving way to anger over the rudness being displayed towards him.
"You sure?"
"Yes! I used to be much smaller, but after surviving puberty disease, I am now my titanic form!" Mortimore quickly double checked and found this 'Kevin's 'titanic form' was still just a little bit over Mortimore's waistline in height, not counting the hat.
"...Well, uh, alrighty then." Mortimore stated after another moment to process this. "Well then, uh, Kevin, what can I do for ya?" Seemingly calmed down by the question, Kevin smiled a wide, friendly smile, exposing is pearly white dentures. If Mortimore didn't know any better, he'd go so far as to say they were
sparkling from how clean they were.
"Well, my good sir-" Kevin began, returning his speech to a more dignified manner like he'd begun with, "My name is Kevin, as I said, and I am a traveling Llama salesman!" Mortimore blinked and now he was certain this was some kind of joke. He looked around and confirmed that there were, in fact, no Llamas around.
"....Are you pulling my leg?" Mortimore asked.
"I can assure you sir, that I am not tugging at your organic momentum apparatice."
"I-wah? No, boy, I mean I don't see no Llamas." At that, Kevin made an 'ah' of understanding, before a smile returned to his face.
"Allow me to bring one in from my transdimensional llama plane."
".....
I beg your pard-" Before Mortimore could say anything further, Kevin closed his eyes and began to float, his body covering cloak beging to rufle and flow around him, revealing legs covered up by bandages, his feat stubby and paw like. Mortimore's eyes widened as he realized that this was no ordinary individual, hideous goblin creature or otherwise, but a wizard. A powerful wizard, going by the fact that the clear skies overhead suddenly developed into a dark, angry stormfront, the eye of a hurricane forming directly above them. Or rather, above Kevin. "
What in the world!?" Kevin's eyes opened, and in place of the emeralrd green there was now glowing rays of golden light. Mortimore's knees began to shake and he fell on his rear end as Kevin opened his mouth and what could only be described as the wordless hymn of angels graced his ears. Tears formed in his eyes, his mind barely comprehending what was happening. A golden orb of energy formed beside Kevin, growing in size and intensity enough to cause Moritmore to have to shield them from the overwhelming light. It was as though the divines themselves were about to either reward him or strike him down.
And just as suddenly as it began, it ended, not with a bang or any sort of loud sound, but with a surprisngly underwhelming cough like puffing sound. Blinking his eyes and removing his hand from his sight.....And just as Kevin had said, standing there before him was a Llama. It wasn't strange as far as Llamas on their world went, with its purple wool and orange polka-dots, but it was definitly a well groomed and taken care of animal, almost noble even as it near-mindlessly chewed its cud. Mortimore blinked again, his racing heart returning to it's normal rate as he got himself up onto his two feet. He leaned his head out to look outside and saw the sky was now as clear as it had been a moment before, Kevin was now back on his own two feet, clothes in place, and the only shred of evidence that any form of magic had been used was the pressence of the Llama, chewing its cud like it hadn't just been summoned from a, quote, 'transdimensional llama plane'.
"As you can see, sir, this fine specimen is in the finest of health, well taken care of and fed only the finest of feed to ensure a glossy, full coat." Kevin declared with a smile. "Now, as with any other animal, Llamas require a lot of love and attention, but if you take care of your llama, your Llama will take care of you. They are very intellgient creatures whose wool can be shorn and used to produce clothes or other items, their milk is nutricious and good for you, and properly trained like this one already is, they can make for excellent guard animals to help protect your crops and farm from-"
"I'll take it." Mortimore interupted Kevin's clearly hard prepared speech, eyes frozen in a look of shock as his brain finally caught up with him and he finished processing the madness that had just occurred. Kevin blinked in surprise, clearly having expected to have to finish his spiel before making a sale, but a smile broke through his face all the same.
"Excellent sir! Could I also offer you a special deal for several more at a discount with our 'Herd Package'?"
"Yes yes." Mortimore's response was almost as robotic as his stiff nod. Kevin didn't seem to notice this as he smiled even wider.
"Excellent! I'll summon them up right away, and we can finish our deal with a contract and payment of 200 bronze pieces and I'll even throw in a helpful owners guide to taking care of them for free!" Mortimore snapped out of his stupor to stare at Kevin with shock. 200
bronze pieces for a
small herd of already trained llama summoned from some mystical transdimensional plane?
"Is everything alright sir?" Kevin asked, now concerned by Mortimore's facial expression. "Is 200 bronze too much?" Too much?
Too much? 200 bronze was chump change for what was being sold to him! "I'm willing to work with 150-"
"Stop." Mortimore stated. "Wait here." With that, Mortimore head back into his home, much to Kevin's confusion, and emerged with a bag of payment. Handing it to Kevin, the diminutive canine(?) creature smiled as he took it, but frowned.
"Sir, this is 100 silver pieces, this is too much-"
"It's the right price." Mortimore declared, summoning his authoritative prescence he used to get the kids in line whenever they got too rembunctious. "Trust me." Blinking, Kevin just gave a genuine, grateful smile in return.
"Why, thank you sir! Let me just get the rest of your Llamas and the contract and we'll be done here!"
---
Kevin waved goodbye to the nice fellow he just finished selling a small herd of 5 Llamas to, as well as the Llamas themselves whom he'd been rearing in his plane he kept them stored within. The nice dog-man, whose name Kevin found out was Mortimore, gave a wave back as Kevin left, beginning his journey down the road. The first sale this week, and he'd even gotten a massive tip from it! Oh, this was perfect! But he had to act proffesional, so Kevin forced himself to remain calm and ungiddy as he made his way down the road towards the next potential customer some miles away. Once he was out of view, however, Kevin found himself giggling to himself, jumping with joy and clapping his stubby foot-paw thingies together. He made his first sale in the region! Oh, what joy! Pappou would be proud, but he'd be prouder still if Kevin continued his journey to sell Llamas and improve people's lives. So that was what he would do.
Floating back down to the ground after remembering it was rude to ignore gravity, even if you were really really happy, Kevin began his journey to his next customer. After the first five minutes in silence, however, Kevin frowned in discomfort. The silence was.....uncomfortable. Deciding to become comfortable the only way he knew how, Kevin used his power to summon forth a music playing artifact Pappou had found and gifted to him specifically for situations like this. Placing the 'head phones' over his ears and taking the device out of his pocket, Kevin found a song that matched his current mood and hit the activation button. As the first notes hit his ears, he found himself smiling giddily as he bopped his head and began to skip in time with the tune, noticing too late that he was being rude to gravity again and floating further upwards with each step, something he rectified with a giggle to himself.
Yup, today was a good day!
---
TripleMRed Presents:
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwglzTmi8iY
I Was Destined to End the World, But Became a Traveling Llama Salesman Because Screw Destiny, I Do What I Want-The Musical. (An Action Comedy Story and Love Letter to over the top action, music, and magic duels.)
Starring!
Kevin as Himself.
Pappou as a Greek Word.
The Llamas as the Endless Horde.
And many, many more.
[ Hello Everyone! My name is TripleMRed, and this original story is something of a love letter to action comedy, music, classic shonen, and modern day storytelling. I hope you will all enjoy it as I tell Kevin's tale, and like Kevin himself as much as I have come to from designing and planning him. I would also like thank a good friend of mine,
@the Derp Prime
, for pushing me to finally do this story. I did it for you, my friend. >
]