I have blue hair and I am a pervert (Dragon Ball AU, Bulma SI/OC)

[Pinklestia]

Chapter 01 Monkey kid and Dragon Balls

Edited by megrisvernin.

AN: Since most people reading this are probably familiar with Dragon Ball, I am going to skip a few things. Also the AU tag is there for a reason, see if you can spot the differences!

"You have a grandfather that turned into a ball too?" asked Goku, placing his Dragon ball near hers to compare them. His had four stars whereas hers had just one.

"No, kid. These are not people, they are Dragon balls. These spheres have the power to do incredible things. Let's just say if these fell into the wrong hands, horrible things could happen," said Bulma with her best smile, remembering the legends she had read when doing her research.

"What… what do they do?" asked Goku, staring at him and holding his Dragon ball close to his chest.

"Are you sure you want to know?" asked Bulma, hesitating. What if he just decided to steal her Dragon ball and get a wish for himself? The kid named Goku was strong enough to punch a hole in a car, and she didn't have any capsule left to fight someone like that. Why did she have to leave the robot suit capsule at home? Ah right, the stupid thing was broken and she didn't have time to fix it because her Dragon Radar had detected a few of the Dragon balls moving.

"Yes please," said Goku, kneeling down next to where Bulma had sat at the table. A table made of a giant rock but whatever, she was supposed to rough it in this quest, wasn't she? Plus she was the best girl scout seven years in a row, well six years in a row, she missed one year due to space camp but whatever, it was camping in space!

"Fine. If you get all seven of them together they can make a wish come true! A legend I read said someone long ago used the wish to become a king." That would explain why the ruler of the country of Lalala was a cat when talking cats weren't the dominant species.

"Uh... What's a king?" The kid with the monkey tail asked.

"The ruler of a country."

"What's a ruler or a country?"

'This... this is going to take a while, right?' Thought the blue-haired girl.

Several hours and a brief pause for breakfast later...

"So you want to get these seven Dragon balls together to grant you a wish, and I can get my Dragon ball back after you make your wish? And I will probably fight strong people during the journey?" Goku asked to a tired looking Bulma.

"Yes!" Bulma answered, who knew talking to a weird monkey kid would take this long?

"Oh okay, you are a girl and my grandfather told me to be nice to girls. Are you sure my Dragon ball really isn't my grandfather?"

"Yes, sorry kid but your grandfather either left somewhere to never return... or he is dead. Although if he is dead there should have been a body," Bulma explained.

'This kid killed a giant lizard for breakfast, so I don't want to find out what he will do to me if I lie to him.' Thought Bulma.

"Uh... maybe the werewolves stole him away? Grandpa always told me to not look right at the full moon or werewolves would appear," Goku said.

'Okay a kid with a monkey tail? My neighbor is a catgirl. Him being so strong? Not weirder than talking dinosaurs, but werewolves? That is just crazy talk!' Bulma thought, but didn't say it out loud.

"Yeah, maybe you are right. So are you ready to go?" Bulma told Goku.

"Yes!" The kid shouted... then ran behind a few bushes making Bulma sweatdrop. Had he just been holding his need to pee to listen to her explanations?

'Crazy kid,' Bulma thought and started to wonder if this whole thing was a good idea to start with. Then again maybe it would be fun?

Meanwhile, far away in the middle of a desert, in what looked like an abandoned temple (but was actually a tourist attraction), the future king of Lalala, (or so he thought of himself), was in search of Dragon balls too.

The short blue imp like person moved between two other people, a dog like man behind him and a really attractive dark-haired teen girl in front of him. The girl used to be in her early thirties but... Let's just say she fell prey to a prank from a fox and leave it like that.

The teen kicked the fake temple doors open, "Hi! We are looking for Dragon balls!"

"Ugh... what did that poor dragon do to you?" The someway stupid dog man asked.

"For the last time, it's not those kinds of dragon balls you idiot!" The blue imp said and slapped the dog.

Then all three noticed the fake temple... looked kind of abandoned.

"Boss, wasn't this some kind of tourist trap?" The teen girl asked.

"Yes, it says so on my tourist guide of Lalala Kingdom, I memorized it since I was a kid!"

"And... how long ago was that?" The dog man asked, proving why he was only somewhat stupid.

"Thirty years ago, more or less. We had my birthday party last week, remember? And I got this book when I was five!" The imp said, sounding proud for some reason as he held the tourist guide in his hands.

"Lord Pilaf..." The teen girl said slowly and then held the blue imp, by his tunic, up so he could see her angry eyes. "THAT MEANS THAT TOURIST GUIDE IS COMPLETELY OUTDATED, YOU BLUE IDIOT!"

"Mei I am your boss, I am the one who should yell at you for being an idiot!"

"Then don't act like an idiot you idiot!" Mei yelled to Lord Pilaf.

"Uh... We're not looking for this?" the dog man said as he held a two star Dragon ball that he picked from inside the fake temple when the two were busy arguing.

"Oh I could kiss you right now Shu, only not cause dog fur, eeew!" Mei the teenage girl said as she dropped Lord Pilaf. "I know, since this place is abandoned it could be our base!"

"Ehem, Mei I am the one paying you two, remember?" Lord Pilaf said, sounding upset.

"I mean this could be Lord Pilaf's new wonderful castle!" Mei quickly added.

"That's better." Lord Pilaf then looked at the place again. "Yes! This definitely can work!"

"Uh... what if someone comes with the papers proving this place is theirs?" Shu, the dog man dressed like a blue ninja, asked.

"We are in the middle of nowhere, we can just kill that person!" Mei said then looked at the disgusted faces of the other two. "I mean... tickle the person until he or she signs the ownership of this place to Lord Pilaf? I mean Shu is a certified notary, aren't you Shu?"

"Yes I am," Shu the dog man answered.

"Ahh this is so slow! We have been at this for months but we only got two Dragon balls counting this new one!' The blue imp complained.

"My Lord, you need all seven Dragon balls to make a wish. Do I need to pull out the sock puppets to explain it again?" Shu asked. Yes, that was the same Shu who had forgotten that the dragon balls weren't a certain part of a dragon's anatomy.

"No, not the stupid puppets again! But okay. Just imagine it, once I awake the glorious eternal dragon all for the sole purpose of granting me my wish, any wish I want, then I will finally be prom queen!" Lord Pilaf said.

Mei then slapped the blue imp.

"I mean, I will finally be the King of Lalala Kingdom! And you two will get huge, big paychecks of course!"

"Thinking about that... you haven't paid us in a while... Lord Pilaf," Mei said, making a thinking pose as she held her chin with her left hand. While holding her gun in her right hand.

"But I invited you two to my birthday!" Pilaf protested.

"Yes, I loved the chocolate cake!" Shu said, his tail wagging. Mei thought for a moment if she should tell him chocolate wasn't good for dogs, then dismissed the idea. If the idiot died it wasn't her problem.

Lord Pilaf wondered, for the third time that day, why he was even hiring those two, then remembered that no one else had answered his newspaper ad for henchmen.

"Anyway, Come on Shu, Mei... let's go to explore my new castle and see where we can park the Dragon radar truck so it doesn't get ruined by the rain again," Lord Pilaf said in a resigned tone.

Now back with monkey boy and blue-haired girl...

"Anyway... after your little break, let's go get the Dragon balls!" Bulma said as she took a capsule, pushed a button and threw it to the ground, there was an explosion and a hoverbike appeared.

"Wow! Are you a witch?" Goku asked.

"No, I am a scientist... it is basically the same but with machines," Bulma said, dumbing down her explanation a lot, as she didn't want to keep wasting time explaining things to Goku. She was a mad scientist's daughter not a teacher!

"Ah okay. Is that thing like a car but smaller?"

"Somewhat," Bulma said sitting on the hoverbike and turning it on, it then floated about ten centimeters over the ground.

"That thing floats?" Goku asked surprised.

"Yes, now sit behind me in the hoverbike, the next Dragon ball is not that far away."

"Okay." Goku did so and held his hands to her waist and they took off on the hoverbike.

Then an alarm in the hoverboard sounded and Bulma had to accelerate even more to avoid a flying dinosaur attacking them.

"Goku, could you deal with this pest? I am not anyone's food!" Bulma said, 'If the kid can break a car with a punch, a dinosaur should be okay, right?'

"Okay," Goku said, jumping off the bike and punching the dinosaur, knocking it out. "I am hungry, can we stop and eat it?"

Bulma had stopped the hoverboard already, realizing it wasn't safe for her to stay too far away from Goku during this adventure.

"Yeah, sure. I read a book about how to cook dinosaur meat and I wanted to try cooking a Pterodactyl anyway." That might or not be a dinosaur but again she was not fond of the idea of explaining things to Goku.

"A what?" The monkey boy asked.

"That's what that beast is called," the girl with blue hair answered.

"Okay, I got a girl to cook for me, grandpa would be proud!" Goku said.

"That's.. you know what? Just kill the thing already, I am getting hungry too," Bulma said with a resigned tone.

Later, when they were eating the dinosaur, cooked with a lot of spices and things that made it taste yummier...

"Bulma?" asked Goku as he finished most of the meat himself, the kid sure had a healthy stomach.

"What?" Bulma asked, dreading having to explain even more things.

"Have you ever done this before, I mean the cities are really far from here… is it common to travel far from home?" asked Goku with his eyes full of curiosity.

"Not on my own but yes, I went with my family once when Father decided camping was good fun for the whole family. And I used to be a girl scout. But it was usually to safer places. I kinda left home in a hurry when my Dragon radar," Bulma pointed to her pocketwatch looking device with a computer screen on it, "Showed me that some of the Dragon balls were moving. Hence why I didn't have any weapons. If you weren't with me I would have needed to either go back home or call someone to get me my weapons."

"Do most people use weapons a lot when they travel?" Goku asked.

"Most people are not as strong as you or a trained martial artist, so that tends to be the norm," Bulma answered.

"I haven't traveled this far since my grandfather is gone, and even then I just went with him to a town to buy supplies," Goku said looking sad.

"So you have run out of toothpaste then?" Bulma asked.

"What's toothpaste?" Of course Goku didn't know what that was.

"It's a paste that... help me pack and I will explain later," Bulma said, almost yelling.

'At this rate I might as well build a teaching robot for Goku after the whole adventure is over.'

'Thinking about it... what am I going to wish for? I am kind of a pervert, but also shy with boys. And the idea of wishing for the perfect boyfriend seems kind of silly... I wonder why I ever had that idea to start with?'

Bulma looked at Goku... nope, the boy wasn't doing anything for her. Maybe in five years more... anyway, they were done with lunch. Goku helped her pack her camp cooking supplies in the huge backpack and that backpack went back into a capsule. Thankfully the blue-haired girl had at least remembered to get her traveling and camping capsules or things would be worse.

'Thinking about it, why not take a nap after lunch? Ah right the next Dragon ball isn't that far away and I have to explain something to Goku.... ugh...' Bulma thought.

"Hey Bulma look what I got for dinner!" Goku said carrying a giant sea turtle... had he gone to the sea and back or what? That was fast!

"Goku, we just had lunch! Just leave that turtle where you found him... or her."

"I am a male turtle and... Could you help me?" The sea turtle asked.

"I just told Goku to not eat you, what more do you want?" Bulma yelled. 'Really, some people... err turtles can get really rude!'

"Saltwater... and maybe take me back to my owner? Or at least to the sea?" The sea turtle said.

"Fine," Bulma said while cursing her love for talking animals! Because of that now she was stuck doing side-quests!

 

[Pinklestia]

Omake: Where is Jaco?

Jaco Tirimentenpibosshi, know on Earth as the hero of East City and as Super Elite Galactic Patrolman Jaco (Not a masked man or masked hero dammit!) was in trouble.

No, it wasn't the fact his secret weapon that could kill all humans, a virus that only worked on weak races, was rendered useless by little Bulma stealing said virus and somehow finding someone to create a vaccine, then made said vaccine obligatory in the whole Lalala Kingdom and later the whole world.

That was old news, it had happened when Bulma was eight, much to his shame.

It wasn't also the fact that his girlfriend had dumped him for someone who earned more money, that had been three years ago.

It wasn't evem the fact that his superiors didn't believe him at all about all the weird stuff that happened on Earth, like magic, and that robot girl strong enough to just punch the Earth's moon in half, thankfully her creator had lated somehow glued it back together.

No... he was in trouble because he had run out of yogurt! And not just any yogurt, it was a yogurt that he could only find it Earth, that was only manufactured in the Lalala Kingdom, and that... That had a strange effect when eaten by a member of his species.

Said strange effect was that it made him able to fly on his own!

And he had been testing that when the effect ran out and he ended in the middle of a valley full of giant lizards.

So he was alone, without his spaceship, and constantly having to punch away annoying dinosaurs.

All because he had not bothered to keep the remote that summoned his ship on himself.

If he didn't get back to East City soon he was going to miss lunch with with Tights, it was free food after all! And granted he could only eat Earth daily products but free food was free food.

Meanwhile, unknown to him, at the same time he was lost in the Dinosaur Valley, Bulma meet a saiyan Jaco should have killed ages ago...

AN: At first little Bulma was too busy reverse engineering Jaco spaceship to care about anything else, so she forgot. Then she later found out about the virus and... her family is considered national heroes, but only the highter ups know the details about how she saved the whole planet. Most people just think professor Briefs helped to create a cure for a plague.

Spoiler

So yes, that means that Bulma SI knows how to make a fuly duplicate of Jaco spaceship and eventually did so, she purposely delayed repairing Jaco's spaceship long enough to fully reverse engineer it.

She doesn't like the Galaxy Police because of said virus, more so once she found out it only works on "weak races" so there was no real reason whatsoever for Jaco to have it.

She does however get along with Jaco better that canon Bulma does. At first it started for practical purposes since Bulma SI wanted to reverse engineer all his tech, and later continued due to fear of the virus, but they later became real friends. Jaco calls her "Little Bulma" because Bulma always calls him "Super Elite J".

Let's just say that if Bulma SI had not been in a hurry she could have dealt with getting all the Dragonballs herself.

She is however keeping her spaceship a secret because she doesn't think Earth is ready to deal with aliens. More so once she found out Jaco is the weakest Space Policeman.

She isn't the only one to hold that opinion, although in Doctor Slump case is more fear that Arale will anger powerful aliens enough that they will destroy Earth. And Professor Briefs does agree that dealing with aliens that are not as easy to dupe as Jaco is not a good idea.

And yes, Jaco has been in Penguin Village and knew better that to tell Bulma about the place so no Bulma doesn't know about Arale... yet.

 

[Pinklestia]

Chapter 02 The Turtle Master Is really old and sea turtles live how long?

Edited by megrisvernin.

Doing over a hundred miles detour to deliver a turtle and get some lame trinket as a reward had Bulma's face red in anger, but then it was her fault for not letting Goku eat the stupid turtle.

Finally they arrived at the beach, and of course, the hoverbike chose that moment to run out of power.

"Typical. The bike is broken, everyone get out!" After Goku, the turtle and herself had left the bike Bulma took out her toolbox from a capsule to check what was wrong with her bike.

"Battery is dead, I really should have changed it six months ago... ah whatever." Bulma stored the hoverbike in a capsule and then looked to see what the monkey boy and the turtle were doing.

"My, it looks like dinner's arrived," said a booming loud voice, the three looked to see a giant bear dressed in samurai armor. The bear then noticed Bulma. "And some after dinner fun too!"

Only... it was a peculiar kind of bear.

"Are you a giant teddy bear?" Bulma just had to ask.

"What? No, of course I am a real bear!"

'He totally looks fake, is he a guy in a costume or a living giant bear plushie?'

"Goku, maybe you could use a bear rug for winter?" Bulma asked in an annoyed tone.

"But the bear talks, grandpa told me to not kill animals that talk."

"Then just beat him up."

"This kid beat me? Oh, that's-" Whatever the giant teddy bear was gonna say ended unheard as Goku made him faint with a single punch in his stomach, even removing some of his stuffing.

"Wow, he was weak," the turtle said.

"Oh, that was interesting," said a weird, old bald man wearing sunglasses and a flower print t-shirt and green short pants and rubber sandals. And who had... was that a turtle shell on his back?

"Hi Master Roshi, I am back!" Said the turtle.

"I know, how was your walk?"

"I got dehydrated again."

"Wait... walk? You mean you could have gotten back on your own once we gave you salt water?" Bulma asked and glared at the turtle.

"Hehehe... I was tired?"

"Grrr. You are lucky Goku doesn't eat talking animals or I would be making turtle soup right now!"

"Goku? Mmm, one of my students once told me he had adopted a kid with a monkey tail and named him Goku," Master Roshi said in a casual tone.

"Students? Were you my grandpa Gohan's teacher?" Goku asked with interest.

"Yes, yes I was. I guess I should give you two a reward for getting my pet turtle back. Mmm, what could it be?"

Bulma's eyes then twinkled in interest "Have you ever heard of the Dragon Balls?"

"Why yes I have, I used them long ago to become immortal."

"You... you used the Dragons Balls to become immortal?" Bulma asked shocked, she had no clue the things were so powerful.

"Yes, I also ate a Phoenix egg, drank Paradise Grass tea, beat a Demon at Go to get an extra five hundred years of life, ate three hundred pills of life and drank from the Sacred Water of longevity."

"Master Roshi, didn't you also trick Death into not taking you once?" The sea turtle asked.

"Uh? You meant that guy was Death? I thought he was just a weirdo!" Master Roshi said and he rubbed his chin. "No wonder he was so creepy."

Everyone else felt down.

"Wait, if you did all those things to become long lived... how old are you, Master Roshi?" Goku asked.

"Mmm, I think I am three hundred years old, more or less. I stopped celebrating my birthday once I got past a hundred, so I am not sure."

"And... how old is the turtle?" Bulma just had to ask.

"I am five hundred years old."

"What?" Bulma asked surprised, that was really a lot!

"No wait; I got confused, I am five hundred and thirty seven!"

"Even more? What did you do to live so long?" Considering everything Master Roshi had done to live long, the sea turtle must have done quite incredible things too.

"Just being born a sea turtle I guess?"

"What? Sea turtles don't live that long!"

"And how do you know that girl?" Master Roshi asked. "Have you ever met another sea turtle before?"

"No, but... Never mind! Master Roshi Do you have any of the Dragon Balls with you?"

"No."

Ah well, it had been a long shot anyway; her Dragon radar didn't detect any Dragon Balls in this zone anyway.

"But I do know where you can find one," Master Roshi added.

"Really? Where?"

"Oh I lost one in a Poker game to my sister, she might still have it "

"And who is your sister Master Roshi? Is she a martial artist too?" Goku asked.

"No, she is a witch."

"What? That's insulting to say about a woman!" Bulma protested.

"I don't mean it as an insult, my sister Uranai Baba is really a witch. She uses magic and that."

"Oh... sorry." Bulma bowed down to apologize to avoid losing her chance to get another Dragon Ball. "You said you were Goku's grandpa's teacher, right? I am sure he would like to hear stories about that."

"Oh right. That reminds me, how is Gohan doing nowadays?" Roshi asked, sounding really curious.

"I... I don't know! One day I woke up and everything was destroyed and he was just gone!" Goku yelled. "I first thought that he had turned into a ball, but when I found out that wasn't the case I thought that maybe that he got eaten by werewolves but there wasn't a body or bones behind."

"Mmm, interesting," Master Roshi said and rubbed his chin." So Goku; want to hear funny stories about your grandpa Gohan when he was my student?"

"Yes!"

"Very well, one day I sent Gohan to cut down some wood and..."

Several hours later Bulma woke up in her sleeping bag, she wasn't gonna use the capsule with the house on it in front of strangers that had not saved her life.

'Ugh the old martial arts master is still talking, and Goku doesn't look tired at all!'

She looked at the time, it had been five hours!

"Crazy martial artists," Bulma grumbled and took out the capsule with the coffee machine and then used it.

"Can I have mine with milk and two spoons of sugar?" The turtle asked.

"Sure, why not." Bulma almost growled and made two cups of coffee. "Did you listen to him talking all this time?"

"No, I went swimming in the sea and ate fish."

"Whatever." Bulma closed her eyes and enjoyed her black bitter and heavenly coffee.

An hour more and the two martial artists were finally done talking. Then Goku fell asleep standing up. Bulma felt pity for him and got out the house capsule so he could sleep in a bed... by pulling out the bed from the house and then returning the house to capsule form.

"Hi, sorry about that," Master Roshi said and scratched the back of his head. "I went a bit overboard, whatever happened to my good manners? I know, I should get you a cute dress as a present to apologize for making such a beautiful girl wait so long!"

"I literally have hundreds of dresses since my mother won't let me throw any away or even give my old dresses away to charity. Besides, weren't you going to take us to see your sister?"

"Oh yeah, that... did I forget to mention she is likely to charge you guys an outrageous amount of money for that Dragon Ball?"

"WHAT?"

AN: Hey, some things are actually the same it seems.

 

[Pinklestia]

Chapter 03 Can't just buy wishes, where's the fun in that?

Edited by megrisvernin.

Okay, on one hand, Bulma is rich, Capsule Corp, her father's company, actually makes the storage capsules everyone and their mother uses, but on the other hand... Bulma thought you are not supposed to just buy the treasure in an adventure! Where's the fun in that?

'But... I really want the wish.'

"Does she take credit?"

"She only takes gold, or maybe that's just with me."

"Darn, good thing I got my satellite phone at hand." Bulma took out a capsule and released the suitcase shaped phone, then opened it, entered a long password and used it to call home.

"Hey Mom it's me Bulma, sorry for leaving without saying anything, I am on a treasure hunt. No Dad isn't with me, I am traveling with a weird kid who is very strong and we meet someone called Master Roshi. Oh, you know about him? Great, anyway apparently one of the objects I am after is in the hands of someone called Uranai Baba. Do you know about her? Famous seer? Okay. Does she only take gold? Oh, well, I don't think it is safe to send the gold to where I am now, could I call later when I actually need the gold? Thanks Mom, and no I haven't met any handsome men yet, although Goku, that's the weird kid, might become quite a looker in a few years. Bye bye, tell Big Sis I said Hi!" Then I hang up and notice the turtle and the old man looking at me.

"What? Can't I call my own mom or something?"

"You are rich? You do not dress like it," the sea turtle asked.

"Of course not, do you think I am an idiot? No one smart wears fancy clothes in the outlands, however these clothes are actually comfortable and sturdy, so they are ideal for an adventure like looking for the Dragon balls." That was Bulma's story and she was sticking with it; she wasn't in the mood to explain she actually hated dresses because she was a bit of a tomboy. Now if she saw a hunk... then she would endure wearing a dress if that's what the man liked.

"Yet I don't see you carrying a gun," the sea turtle said.

"I got Goku's help and I do know self defense." Bulma really knew how to defend herself but... well she wasn't stronger than the average girl her age, while Goku could literally ruin a car in a single punch.

"And... well it has got quite late, we can go to see your sister tomorrow," Bulma said, quite tired herself and used her capsule with a house in it. Then I started to walk to it.

"You could stay in-"

"Your home? No thank you, you probably just want to see me naked!" As a pervert Bulma could easily find out if someone else was a pervert... and Master Roshi's look didn't inspire her trust.

"She saw your intentions right away, Master Roshi."

"Ehehe... well... is not my fault, libido is supposed to get worse with age!"

"Isn't it the other way around!" Bulma yelled and then got inside the capsule home then locked the door and activated the alarm just in case. Then had to deactivate the alarm, unlock the door and drag back the bed he left outside, that still had Goku sleeping on it.

Then she locked the door again and put on the alarm. She still didn't quite trust the turtle and the weird old man but like hell was she gonna sleep outside, with the old pervert that would be more dangerous than not sleeping in her capsule home!

It was a bit surprising how Goku was still sleeping like a log, this whole adventure truly had got more... ridiculous than she had expected.

But she had a wish to focus on and... what would she wish anyway? She could wish to be less of a pervert... or maybe having psychic powers? That would be so cool!

Or... maybe she could wish for Goku to get his grandfather back?

Bulma slapped herself.

Oh, come on! I barely know the kid! His grandfather is probably dead anyway and I didn't want to pull the guy from the afterlife... if there actually is an afterlife... unless he is in Hell? I mean if the guy had been a pervert like Master Roshi maybe he is in hell... wait does that mean that I am going to end in Hell? No of course not! I donate to charity!'

Anyway, she better get to sleep because tomorrow... Tomorrow she was going to get scammed by a witch.

No, she couldn't just steal the Dragon Ball, not only that was dangerous, she risked angering Master Roshi who could probably punch a mountain into dust or something crazy like that. Or get cursed by the witch or...

Zzzz

• • • • ☆

"What do you mean that Roshi's sister no longer has the Dragon Ball you stupid ghost?"

Bulma felt like hitting someone, but she didn't want to get in trouble for being cruel with a turtle, Goku was basically acting as her bodyguard, Roshi was scary and the stupid ghost was... a ghost and so she literally couldn't punch him.

Worse, they had to wait in line for two hours to see the so called Seer. How could people be so stupid? You couldn't predict the future anyway, heck even the weather forecast failed sometimes, even with magic predicting the future shouldn't work! And now she found out it was all a waste of time?

"I am really sorry, but Miss Uranai Baba traded the Dragon Ball away a year ago."

"Did she at least get something good for it?" Master Roshi asked.

"She got a new toaster."

Bulma's left eye twitched.

"She traded away something that can help to grant almost any wish... for a toaster?"

"Miss Uranai Baba really likes to eat toast for breakfast."

"Can you at least tell me who she traded the Dragon Ball with?"

"I am really sorry but that information is confidential."

The only thing that saved the ghost from Bulma inventing something that could hurt ghosts right there and then was the witch Uranai Baba herself showing up. She was really short and looked way older than Master Roshi. Either that helped with her seer business or she just didn't care to find ways to look younger.

"Roshi? What are you doing in line? You just had to call ahead and I would let you in without waiting. I always have time for you to lose to me at cards!"

"I don't always lose to you at cards!" Master Roshi protested.

"True, you lose to me at dice, at Go, at Chess, at Monopoly, at Snakes and ladders and even at Rock–paper–scissors!"

As the two old people argued a big burly man got impatient and tried to cut the line, only to find himself faced by Bulma whose temper was at a boiling point.

"Cut the line? I will teach you to cut the line!"

"Oh yeah and what can a slip of a girl like you can do to me?"

Upon hearing that the blue-haired girl pulled a huge wrench out from a capsule and showed him a shark like grin.

"Why don't we find out, shall we?"

Unfortunately for Bulma the guy decided that was too much for him and ran away.

"Oh come on! I wasn't gonna really hurt him... much!"

"Bulma, are you okay?" Goku asked in a worried tone, Bulma mentally counted to ten and sighed.

"Normally I am not this violent... I am just... frustrated."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I am angry at things not going how I expected them to go."

"Ah, but can't you use your Dragon Radar thing to find the Dragon Ball anyway?"

"Yes, but even with that one is missing, so it was either eaten by an animal, locked in a special box or in a really deep place the radar doesn't reach." Well, the box thing was theoretical, she was sure she could build a box that blocked her own Dragon Radar but she had been busy with other projects and-

"What does the radar have to do with roaches?"

"Not a roach, reach! What I meant is that the radar can't scan for the Dragon Balls if they are too deep like in the bottom of the ocean or several kilometers underground."

"I don't know how that works but can't you just make it more powerful since you are the one who made it?"

"Yes, I can do that! Let's leave before the witch decides to charge us money just by being here."

"Okay!"

And then they did just that, leaving Master Roshi still arguing with her sister.

"Goku, I didn't exactly pack the things I need to upgrade the radar so let's just look for the others first," Bulma said full of enthusiasm only for her and Goku's stomachs to grumble in hunger.

"But we can find a good place to eat before that."

AN: In the next episode, Bulma is turned into a carrot!

 

[Pinklestia]

Omake: Time Sandwich

People thinks that time is linear and for most that is true.

However for those who have power over time and they aren't limited or stupid time is a whole different dimension... literally.

Being the Supreme Kai of Time makes Chronoa have an extra sense... one that she can never fully ignore or never turn off.

That's how she knows that...

"This timeline is fucked."

A single change, the first person to use the Earth Dragon Balls of Earth wished to be king of the world, but is not the person who should have been!

That... it has caused so many different changes!

Chronoa then looks into the future to a moment whe knew it should happen.

Only there is no time traveling teen from the future.

There is also no King Cold or Cyborg Frieza.

She then looks earlier, to Goku fight with Frieza only Goku... is not sparing Frieza.

He completely exterminates him instead. Then rushes to get to a working spaceship before the planet explodes.

"Because of that, the timeline should be purged only... yes the Time Patrol should be able to-"

"What?"

She can't sense them at all, the Time Patrol is gone.

How? They should be protected in the...

Impossible!

"If the Time Nest is ever destroyed so will the universe... Then how?"

"Wait maybe I could-"

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHY I CAN'T TELEPORT TO OTHER UNIVERSES? HECK WHY CAN'T I EVEN DETECT OTHER UNIVERSES?"

"Because I won." Says a familiar voice behind the Supreme Kai of Time, Chronoa turns to look behind her-

AN: I am quite sure Chronoa being trapped in an alternate timeline won't cause any trouble whatsoever!

 

[Pinklestia]

Chapter 04 I was a pervert teen carrot... yet I must climb the tallest mountain in the world?

Edited by megrisvernin.

Bulma woke up confused, there had been some crazy thing about being turned into a carrot... but that couldn't have been true right?

She looked around, there was a beaten up rabbit man and his goons tied up with a rope and Goku looked really angry.

So... if she remembered things right, she and Goku had gone into this town to eat, Goku ended up beating the rabbit man's goons and then the rabbit man tried to make peace and shake Goku's hand. Bulma had pushed Goku away and the rabbit had ended up touching her.

That had been because while Bulma didn't know what the rabbit was going to do, the rabbit had been as subtle as a man in a trenchcoat offering kids "free candy", meaning the only way he could have been more blatant about being up to no good would be if he had actually gloated about it. But what kind of idiot does that?

Far away in the middle of a desert, a temple-like tourist attraction that was being reused as a villain's lair...

"HAHAHA! SOON I WILL BE KING AFTER GETTING ALL THE DRAGON BALLS!"

"Lord Pilaf, we have been over this, you are only supposed to gloat when you are about to finish your evil plan, not when you barely started," a dog-like man named Shu explained.

"Who says that?" Lord Pilaf questioned.

"The manual of how to be an evil mastermind you made me read because you found it boring after a few pages?"

"Ah right; never mind then, continue renovating my new castle of evil!"

Back to Bulma and Goku...

So... it actually had happened? She had been a freaking carrot? She had a hard time believing it.

But how did Goku beat an enemy that could turn people into carrots with a touch?

Then she remembered some of what Goku had said to Master Roshi.

****(Flashback)****

"Goku, that staff you carry on your back, it belonged to your grandfather Gohan, do you know how to use it?" Master Roshi said while Bulma had her second cup of coffee.

"I know how to use a staff, I just prefer punching and kicking," Goku said, not sounding interested.

"Ah but that's not a regular staff, but a magical one."

"Really?" Goku said with his eyes now almost shining with interest.

"Yes, it can become as long and thick as you want it to be as long as you are touching it. Let me borrow it for a few minutes and I will show you."

"Okay."

****(End of Flashback)****

Ah right, so that's most likely how Goku was able to win the fight.

"Bulma, are you okay!" Goku said and gave her a hug, strangely he was careful while doing it. Either something his grandfather had said or something Master Roshi had said during their very long talk.

"Was... was I really turned into a carrot?"

"Yes, I defeated the rabbit and forced him to change you back, but what do we know? He is too dangerous for the people here to handle and I am not supposed to eat animals that can talk!"

"Mmm... I think we should cover the rabbit man's whole body with tape so he can't touch anyone and take him to Master Roshi to see what to do. I know nothing about magic and weird martial arts techniques."

So after they left the goons for the police to handle, that's what they ended up doing. They found Roshi playing Monopoly with his sister and losing, then Uranai Baba decided she could use the rabbit man to work for her... or she would turn him into a toad permanently.

The rabbit man quickly accepted after Baba turned him into a toad for a few minutes.

On one hand Bulma still didn't want to believe in magic, on the other... she had been turned into a carrot!

So she decided to ignore it for the moment and after Goku's stomach growled they ordered takeout... that somehow ended with Bulma paying for food for EVERYONE, even Baba's employees. Because of course they couldn't find Roshi back at his house on the beach where it would have just been Roshi himself and the sea turtle as extra mouths to feed, of course not.

Still way better than the twenty million in gold it would have cost to ask Roshi's sister to see the future for her, as Bulma later found out.

After everyone had eaten (and they found the rabbit man was allergic to tomatoes) she and Goku headed to get the next Dragon Ball, hopefully with less magical problems involved.

After hours and hours of walking, the next Dragon Ball turned to be on a mountain, a very tall mountain. In 'Mount Neverrest' which was called that way because if you sleep while climbing it, you die.

"Goku, we need to get prepared, that mountain is really tall."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"First, we don't have winter clothes so we will freeze if we just climb it as we are. Second, I am a lot weaker than you are and I prefer if we get climbing equipment before going. And third, we will need food that survives the cold."

Then she remembered a few other things. "And coffee... and oxygen masks."

"What are oxygen masks?"

Right; the first thing she would do after this adventure was over was build a teacher bot so Goku could be properly educated.

"They help you breathe in really tall places. Otherwise you may die for lack of enough air."

"WHAT?"

"Relax, that usually only happens in really tall places like Mount Neverrest... and maybe Korin's tower if anyone ever reaches the top I guess?"

"Korin's tower?"

"Is the tallest place in the world, a tower that's said to be the place where the god Korin lives."

"Oh... and no one has climbed it or gone with a plane or something?"

"Nothing can fly to the top of the tower, no matter if it is planes, birds or whatever. You try to fly up there you may end up dead as you suddenly end up falling when you are close to the top. And as for climbing it? There are legends of people who did, but you probably need to be like way way way super strong for that."

Yeah, she didn't want to believe in magic... and she wasn't sure if the thing about the tower was true or not but... maybe one day she would accept it. Not today, but one day.

'Then again, we are hunting wish granting balls from a Dragon God, so yeah I really should at least be open to the possibility.'

"Anyway, let's buy stuff!"

Both Goku and Bulma's stomachs growled.

"After we eat."

Maybe Bulma should have taken a car from one of her capsules or something... but she had felt so shocked about the whole "carrot" thing she had just... kept walking.

No wonder she was so hungry!

How long had she walked?

She.... she didn't want to know.

While Bulma and Goku were eating in a restaurant close to the mountain, they didn't know they were not the only ones going after that Dragon Ball.

In fact, they only noticed once they had finished eating and left the restaurant.

"Hey Bulma... What is that?" Goku asked and pointed to something blurry that could be seen very high up moving close to the mountain.

Bulma pulled out a pair of binoculars from her backpack and looked up to the west near the mountain.

"Oh darn, a freaking flying ship? And it looks like it will get the Dragon Ball before we do!"

"Oh, what if I used my magic staff?" Goku asked.

Bulma looked at the ship, which was so high up that it was barely visible even with the binoculars, then looked back at Goku... who still didn't have winter clothes and an oxygen mask.

"You don't have the right clothes and equipment, so better not risk it. Also, I don't think even you would survive if you fell out from that high up." Bulma had grown fond of the weird kid after all.

"You know, now that I think about it, while Master Roshi made you meet his sister, he didn't give me any gift," Goku said. "Maybe we could go back to bug him to see if he has anything that might help?"

"No, I don't wanna risk his sister making me waste a lot of money again." Sure that may be a bit hypocritical, but Bulma had the feeling that the old hag would take away all the money she could from Bulma if she let her. "Let's... yeah let me call home so they can get me a rocket airship."

"Bulma, if we do that the people on that ship will get the Dragon Ball before we do!"

Bulma glared at Goku, then at the top of the mountain.

"Fine! Go to bug Master Roshi for something that can fly, think you can run fast enough to reach him before the flying ship leaves?"

"Yes!" Goku said in a confident tone and ran to look for Master Roshi to get his gift.

Meanwhile, while Goku was running, someone woke up in the airship's biggest and most comfortable bedroom.

"Ugh... my head... stupid loud engines, can't ever sleep well when they are on," the prince complained. Said prince happened to look a lot like Goku, only he lacked a tail and was really fat.

"Your highness, I have been trying to wake you up for almost an hour! There are two Dragon Balls close by besides the one on Mount Neverrest!" said an imp-like creature that looked a lot like Lord Pilaf only female and pink. And also wearing a maid uniform.

"Poof, is that true? You are not just saying that to get me out of bed, are you? I need my twelve hours of sleep, you know it!"

"No my prince, the radar that weird Doctor built us really shows three Dragon Balls in this area!"

"Ha! I knew waiting for other people to start collecting them would make things easier. Heck if I had not let you nag me to get the one in the mountain we could just skip getting our robots to collect that one."

"But your highness, we have been waiting for six months for that to happen! And no one was getting this one anyway!"

"So? More time for me to sleep, and it worked anyway!"

AN: Yeah Goku will finally get his gift but whatever is going on with the Goku lookalike?