Horizon [Alt!Power & SlightAU]

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Sarah Livsey finds herself a friend early on, one that she can rely on and simply be herself.

How will this change things?

Watch the butterflies go.
1.1 Incrementum
Horizon

— O —​

2008 January, Boston.


The click of the lock quietly signaled her presence back in the pleasant warmth of the house, not that anyone was close enough to actually listen. Or cared, for that matter.


Sore feet slid out of slightly worn footwear and into a pair of sinfully fluffy, comfy slippers that had her closing her eyes and sighing quietly, her neck rolling around with the slightest pop-pop-pop that hurt just a little but felt too good to make the effort of breaking the habit.


Another sigh, and she stopped basking in the comfort that her hundred dollar slippers brought her, turning around and marching onwards into the opulent house. Not her house, the.


It didn't feel like a home anymore, not really.


Not since Reggie started ignoring her.


She had noticed months ago how he seemed more… subdued. More dim - not in wits, mind you, but in everything else. He stopped staying so much with his friends, with his circle of hanger-ons – she did resent him a little bit for the attention he received – always ready to please the prodigal son of a family that had a successful businessman and a scheming socialite at its head. He stopped going out of the house, the open air activities he always was so proud to brag and poke her about petered out and then stopped altogether.


He stopped going out of his room if it wasn't something entirely necessary, like eating or going to the bathroom, barely engaging in the verbal sparring matches Mother oh-so-loved to have with him every time she could, even when he so obviously hated it.


He stopped being a brother to her. He stopped caring, and started acting; doing anything with her or simply passing time together just when she asked for it, and no more than was strictly necessary. And even then, she had to carefully, methodically scoop out of him any and all conversation she wanted to have, be it inane chatter or serious questions.


And wasn't that the issue. That he no longer cared, no longer viewed her as her sister but an obstacle in his way to spend the day in bed for the thousandth time in complete silence.


She tried. Scion knew that she tried, but she couldn't be there for him when the only thing he did was push her away. She couldn't help him with whatever had him acting like that if he didn't talk to her.


Mother and Father weren't much help, if any. They didn't notice anything wrong, they said. Reg is just more mature, they assured her.


But she knew something was wrong, she just didn't know what, exactly. It was driving her up the wall a little bit more each day, fraying up her nerves and shooting down her mood every time she tried to disentangle the knot of frustration that was Reginald.


Quiet thunks followed in the wake of her path to her bedroom upstairs; almost completely isolated, spacious, ventilated, and most of all, hers. She didn't quite have a lock she could put there – not originally, anyway. Finding one of those plastic locks you could put up and tore down as-needed wasn't all that hard, especially not in a city like Boston.


She felt pleasantly surprised at the lack of surprises. That is, Mother or Father suddenly materializing behind her to drag her off by the ear and chatter her brain into mush gossiping about this gala or that, this rich asshole or another, or worse, her dating prospects.


She felt faintly sick at the thought of her parents marrying her off to someone in exchange for capital – be it political or economical. Something told Sarah that the fact that she didn't know with any type of certainty if they would do it to her if presented the opportunity should invoke something worse than vague unease, but she knew her parents too well to feel anything more than slight disgust and the all too common disappointment.


The soft click or her door closing was the signal she needed to truly relax once home, shoulders slumping forward and a sigh fleeing her lips.


She left her schoolbag at the foot of the computer chair, wheels creaking slightly with age once she sat down suddenly, sprawling and stretching atop it like a pleased cat – another habit too laborious to break.


The burn of stretched muscles faded, and she thumbed the power button of the slightly shiny desktop PC, fans humming to life and picking up a bit of speed before settling in the pleasant background noise she had come to associate with comfort.


Deft fingers moved across the keyboard once the system was booted. She opened her browser and clicked on the small icon that brought Sarah to her favourite place in the net – now even more that Reggie decided to ignore her entire existence.


She didn't want to resent him, she really did not, but he made it so hard…


She sighed and reclined back in her chair, waiting for the site to load up already so she wasn't staring blankly at an empty page with a little hourglass doing circles, and circles, and circles…


Finally, it loaded completely, the bold font greeting her like an old friend, link before link presenting her with a myriad of options for her entertainment, from serious discussions on cape powers and fights and advice on various things to the silliest memes imaginable, from wardrobe malfunctions to the most deep-fried, illegible bullshit.


«You have logged on as 'EyeSea'»


But the real reason…


«Message received from Bookwyrm95»


…was that.


Sarah smiled the first genuine smile of the day. Yes, she may have a brother that ignored her, parents that measured how much they loved her by the money or prestige she could bring in on the future or a gaggle of self-proclaimed friends at school that only really wanted access to her brother, but she did also have a real friend – someone to talk to, vent without worry and gossip as much as she liked. Someone that didn't see the Livsey name, but her. Sarah, just Sarah.


As her friend began to chatter away about the new Ward in her city – Clock-something? – the smile spreaded and her previously stormy mood cleared little by little.


Yes, Sarah said to herself, for the moment, all was good.


— O —​

2008 October, Boston.


Everything was horribly, horribly wrong.


Well, not everything per se, but something. She didn't know what, exactly, and it was gnawing at her brain like a particularly abused dog that just wouldn't let go of its favourite toy without a fight.


The last message from her friend had been weeks ago, and in her desperation she had filled her – Sarah was sure Bookwyrm was a she – inbox with dozens of messages, from concerned to nervous to pleading to begging, which drove her to the last message she had sent the last night, not knowing what more she could say, what more she could do.


«I'm sorry. Please be okay.»


Was it something she said? Did she let something slip through and now Bookwyrm had figured her out? Figured out who she was and the circles her parents navigated?


Had she scared her? Pissed her off?


Honestly, she preferred if her friend told her directly that she didn't want to talk to her anymore. She preferred it to this agonizing wait that was driving her up the wall with worry and dread in equal parts pooling in her stomach and blending her insides in a concerning mix that made her want to puke.


She was about to close the forum for the day when a faint chime made her gaze snap to the inbox tab, seeing a faint red [1] there made her inwardly cheer and sigh with naked relief.


She clicked the message, prepared to ask one and a million questions at the drop of a hat.


She stopped cold.


Bookwyrm95: I'm sorry.


Sorry? Sorry for what? She didn't understand, and before she could type anything, she received another message.


Bookwyrm95: I'm sorry for ghosting you


Bookwyrm95: it's just. Well.


It took two minutes for her to send another message, time that Sarah spent in a war with herself, incapable of deciding if she should send a message herself or just wait until her friend was done speaking. She was starting to type when another chime came in.


Bookwyrm95: i was at mom's funeral the other day


She grimaced deeply. She hadn't lost anyone particularly closer to her, at least not since grandpa died when she was six, but that was a long time ago – enough time to heal and dull the memory, blunt the edge of the pain.


This? This had to be pure agony – not simply a wound, but a tear in her psyche; jagged, bleeding, and still oh so very raw.


Bookwyrm95: and


Bookwyrm95: i'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you this


Bookwyrm95: I'm sorry. I'll just go


No! No, no no no!


She couldn't let her go like this, not now that she knew the answer to her questions, even if that answer had hurt. There she had been, speculating about what she had done, when it was something completely unrelated. Typical Sarah, self centered to a fault.


EyeSea: No! Don't!


EyeSea: I'm not mad or anything, I swear. I was worried about you.


EyeSea: I thought something had happened to you or something


Something had happened to her, dumbass. Stop putting your feet in your mouth. Her fingers felt jittery for some reason and she couldn't stop squirming in her seat.


EyeSea: I mean. Something bad


Sarah you absolute buffoon.


EyeSea: I'm sorry. I'll shut up now.


She put her hands in her face, covering her eyes and cheeks and desperately trying not to claw at her own face like the absolute moron she was.


Ping. She separated her fingers, uncovering only her eyes and dreading what she would find on the screen of her computer.


A threat? A goodbye? Her IP address and fifteen different ways she would die in her sleep?


It was none of that.


She found a smiley face blankly staring at her, it's animated body bouncing up and down in a never-ending cycle.


Bookwyrm95: thank you. for caring


A relieved chuckle tore itself from Sarah's throat. She hadn't fucked up. Well, she had, but it looked like it didn't matter to the other girl.


Bookwyrm95: I'm Taylor


Her fingers were moving before she could tell them to stop and think about internet security and identity theft and all those little classes they had received at school about scary people on the net.


She didn't stop them.


EyeSea: Sarah. I'm Sarah


She didn't dare say that things were good, but they were going. At least, she still had her friend, and that's what mattered.
 
1.2 Incrementum
Horizon

— O —​

2009 February, Boston.

She got up from the table after finishing dinner; her every movement calculated, her every expression carefully managed and suppressed until only a ceramic façade of blank politeness was left sitting on her features like a second skin she had learnt to wear when in company of her parents.

They were the only ones at the table; Father, Mother, and her, little Sarah.

Reggie just grabbed his plate and went upstairs when the food was ready, dining in his bedroom as he had been for a little more than a year now.

She still saw something wrong with him, something stilted in his expression that shouldn't be there, an emotion that she couldn't decipher until it was washed away in the mask that both of them had hidden in their sleeves, always ready to be used.

She sometimes feared that facet of her life coming alive without a hint of a warning and strangling her in her sleep, the perfect little daughter slipping inside her skin and wearing her face for the world to see and her body to parade around as it wished.

She clamped down at the full shiver her body threatened with in the face of her existential dread, and managed to occlude it from her family, if barely.

After giving her proper goodbyes to Mother and Father and leaving them in the kitchen to talk about the stock market or which rich asshole managed to knock up what housemaid, she slipped away from the dining room and practically raced upstairs. She took a quick shower and some time to clean up and get comfy before bed, except she didn't go to sleep right away like her parents complained about – they said that going too early would mess with her schedule and performance in class, or something like that – instead, she opened the messaging app she had found some months ago. It was rudimentary, clunky and a little slow, but it worked both on phone and on computer which is what mattered to her anyway.

Ding.

TayTay: um. Are you there?

Sarah smiled and hid further beneath the cover of her blankets, the only source of light being the phone in her hand. She snickered softly at the nickname she had chosen for her.

«Yup. You didn't have to wait too long, did you?»

TayTay: No. Dad just went to sleep just as he got home. He. Um.

Her brow furrowed. Something was wrong.

«Yes? You can talk to me Taylor, you know that, just as I talk to you about idiots at school trying to get inside my pants or my parents grabbing the Idiot Ball and running with it because they can't admit a mistake unless they're too busy groveling at the moment.»

She hoped that it was enough to get the other girl to spill the beans on what was bothering her, knowing that mentions about people trying to seduce her and ingratiate themselves to the family always got her flustered.

Sometimes Taylor closed in on herself without meaning to, lost in her own spiral of grief. Lately she had been getting a little better, but talk about her parents always brought her down, even if they were only speaking about her father.

TayTay: He came home drunk. I tried to help him get to the bedroom but

The pause made something inside Sarah's chest coil in worry. She stilled her fingers and waited for another message.

TayTay: I almost ate the floor when he shoved me away. I don't know what I did wrong but

TayTay: I don't know. He looked so angry…

Sarah's heart jumped at her throat at that. A lone parent with his child, widowed and with an alcohol problem? She shivered.

«You did nothing wrong Tay. He's just… lost. He needs more time.»

TayTay: He got better for a little after aunt Zoe's intervention but he's drinking again and I don't know what I should do

Apparently, what the daughter had in backbone was inherited by the mother, go figure.

She tensed her jaw. She needed a change of topic, now, before Taylor sunk herself in another spiral of self loathing. Sarah knew that she blamed herself for the death of her mother, and thank god that she had managed to root away the stupidity her father had tried to worm in her mind about mobile phones and how they were evil.

Taylor's mother died because she was talking and driving, it wasn't the phone itself the thing that killed her.

Her own parents were assholes, but at least she had the stability they brought to the table, and money. Taylor had none of that.

«Like I said, you did nothing wrong sweetie»

Sarah's mind screeched to a halt, then revved to maximum speed. She hadn't sent that, had she?

TayTay: um.

She had.

Change of topic. She needed a change of topic immediately.

«What was your birthday again?»

Come on, bite, bite, bite…

TayTay: June 12th. Why?

Hook…

«Oh, nice to know it then.»

TayTay: Why do you ask?

Line…

«Nothing much, really. Just thinking of sending something cute your way.»

TayTay: xhdhendnjfjr

TayTay: Sarah no

Sinker.

Sarah smiled, a wide and sharp thing more fit in the face of a fox than that of a human being. Even with the crisis averted and Taylor distracted from her father, a twinge of worry still wormed its way into her chest and laid there in wait, coiled around her heart and poised to strike at a moment's notice.

She didn't like it, not one bit.

After some more verbal wrestling – where she came out the victor, of course – she managed to spoon away the address of the other girl and saved it in her personal notes, making a physical copy and at the same time trying to memorize it as fast as she could.

She had a present to think about.

— O —​

2009 June 12th, Brockton Bay.

She skipped the rotten first step, landing on the second and doing a little jump inside the porch, trying to get inside her home quickly to leave her school bag, heavy with homework.

She had a ton of complaints pent up and Sarah was all too willing to whine on Taylor's teachers with her, a favourite pastime of them both – snitching on everyone they didn't like with the other. It helped them both vent and relax, and there always was a little piece of truth buried beneath all the gossip. Sarah was uncannily good at spotting those little tidbits.

She didn't know if it was because her parents were always jumping at the throat of the latest, juiciest piece of gossip or if it was genuinely a talent of hers.

So deep were her musings, that when she palmed her keys and went to open the door she almost tripped on a box, her somewhat quick reflexes saving her of the not at all pleasant experience that was kissing the ground in an intimate fashion.

Once recovered, she examined the box, shaking it slightly and noting that it made almost no sound.

Frowning, she opened the door and closed it behind her. She quickly ascended to her bedroom, hastily grabbing a knife from the kitchen on her way.

Once in her bedroom, she stared at the small thing, indecise about the whole thing now that the only next step possible was leaving the box in a forgotten corner – why had she grabbed it, anyway? – or open it.

Why was she doubting? It wasn't heavy, nor sounded clunky, so it wasn't a bomb – who would want to bomb her house anyway? They were a middling family, at best.

Slash slash sang the knife, and the contents were revealed.

The first thing she noticed was the big, yellow and black striped thing, with bulbous little eyes and a pair of soft wings.

It was a bee plushie. With a note attached to it in flowing, beautiful cursive.

For you, from your friend.
— PD: Sorry, I didn't get your measurements so I went with the biggest size there was. Enjoy!
S.L.

Hugging the plushie with one arm she rummaged with the other inside the box until she touched something sinfully soft. Pulling it out, she saw something that had her mouth dropping open in appreciation.

It was a onesie. A full sized, moth onesie.

She did not squeal.

What she did that day though – even when her father forgot that it was her birthday – was sleep better than she had in years.

«Thanktyouthankyouthankyou!»

LittleEye: You're welcome : D
 
1.3 Incrementum
Horizon

— O —

Beta'ed by;

Bms111

My most heartfelt thanks.​

TW: Suicide, depression.

2009 September, Boston.

The thunk of padded feet on lacquered wood was the only sound above background noise nearby. That, and the tip-tap of fingers on a crystal screen.

Sarah snorted at the lastest cape gossip and memes Taylor had sent her way, trying not to snicker and wake up someone she rather preferred stayed slumbering.

It was a late hour. Not incredibly late, but late nonetheless. Taylor had had a nightmare she couldn't remember, so she had messaged Sarah to assuage her fears, even if she wasn't online at the moment. Luckily for Taylor, Sarah had imbibed an unholy amount of energy drink that afternoon thanks to a stupid bet, so she wasn't tired in the slightest and was able to answer Taylor's message, even if it was inane babbling about the capes in her town.

Which, okay, wow.

They had a ton – one of the cities with the most capes per ten thousand people in the country, if she remembered correctly – and most of them were A-Listers too. A rage dragon? A ten ton Murderwolf? Christ, no wonder the Protectorate there couldn't do jack squat about them. She doubted anything short of the Triumvirate could clean that city completely. She felt quite sorry that someone as nice as Taylor had to live in such a shithole.

Something caught her attention while she was traveling towards the kitchen. She could see the light of one of the bathrooms, but the unusual thing was that the door was open. Not by much, but just enough to hear that there was water dripping and see dull, yellow light spilling into the gentle silver of the moonlit hall.

Sarah frowned and pocketed her phone, approaching with curious steps. Who had left the faucet open?

She approached and gently nudged open the door, tarnished hinges creaking with a shrill sound that sent her teeth on edge, and what she saw filled her chest with a ball of lead, constricting her chest and stealing the air from her lungs.

Reggie was in the tub, clothed. That's odd, Sarah thought to herself numbly. He wasn't moving.

The knife's edge she already felt pressing on her brain turned into a roiling ball of fear, but she plowed on nonetheless, her body tensing up ready to flee at a moments notice.

Tap. Tap. Two more steps.

She could clearly see the water of the tub, now. It was red. Completely red, as if someone had dropped a whole gallon of color in there.

"R-Rex?"

The ball in her stomach did a somersault into her throat, lodging itself there and preventing her from breathing.

Reggie had a knife.

The water was still.

Reggie wasn't moving.

The water was red.

Sarah screamed.

— O —​

2009 October, Boston.

Sarah stared at her phone. The screen was turned off, and she hadn't used it for the last couple of weeks, at all.

In the aftermath of her brother's 'passing' as their neighbors called it, the pressure on her to become the perfect heiress had become greater and more insistent, grinding her under its heel and stripping away parts of her, leaving only the vitriol and sarcasm, the schadenfreude and low, simmering anger for the world to see.

Complaints started coming from school about her attitude, too confrontational they said.

Complaints came from her parents, she just had to have known that there was something wrong. She had known that this would happen because, of course, she wanted their fortune for herself and the thought of sharing with Rex was too much of a chore. Everything said in snide comments and subtle talk, everything wrapped in double meanings – maybe occult to someone who hadn't grown up in her environment, but clear as day to her, and her parents knew that perfectly.

What kind of screwed up people were they, to think that of her?

What kind of screwed up parents were they, to put every ounce of blame on their sole child?

Functional sociopaths, apparently.

She almost expected complaints from Taylor for leaving her without a chatting buddy, not that she had opened the app in the last couple of weeks, too busy hating everything and everyone around her, herself included.

Taylor.

She almost felt irrationally angry – she had, in the early days – at the thought of her.

Maybe if she hadn't talked too much with her, she would have noticed something. Maybe if her attention hadn't been so absorbed in feeling good because she had a real friend, she could have helped Reggie. Maybe if she hadn't been such a fucking idiot, she could have seen what was wrong with her brother.

The spark of anger puttered out into nothingness.

The blame here wasn't on Taylor, it was on her. On Sarah. Self centered, self serving, egotistically stupid Sarah. Always thinking about herself, always speaking about herself, always doing things for her and her pleasure and amusement only.

Sarah stared at her phone. The last couple of days it had sounded almost non stop when she knew Taylor would be connected, trying to reach out to her, speak to her. She tried to muster the same anger that had sparked before, and she found herself incapable of doing so, in its place there was a yawning pit of self loathing laced with enough vitriol to drown the world twice over.

Sarah did something stupid. She grabbed her phone, turned it on, and opened the messaging app. It was in the middle of the afternoon, so it surprised her to see that Taylor wasn't online.

She started to read, and her anger turned to ash, her venom into ice that crawled across her veins, leaving nothing untouched, unsullied.

The first message had an edge of concern to it. It was half an hour after Rex died.

The ones that followed turned that concern into panic, constantly asking if she was okay, if she needed something, if she had fallen and needed help or for someone to call an ambulance.

Sarah started to feel sick, guilt worming its way from the deepest pits of her stomach and coiling itself there.

The days thereafter were plagued with more messages asking for her, concern clear in every letter and every spelling mistake made in the middle of a panicked bout of writing.

The guilt turned caustic.

Days later, it turned from concern into confusion, asking if she had done something wrong, if she had offended her in some way she didn't know about.

She felt her insides roiling.

The last messages were an almost unbroken chain of apologies and questions about how she could make it up to her, how could she get Sarah to talk to her again and regain what friendship they had.

She felt bile crawling up her throat.

The messages near the end were from a couple of days ago after a strange bout of silence that lasted some three days. She seemed more… subdued, after that. More desperate. More depressed.

She didn't even sound like Taylor anymore, that cheerful ray of hope.

The absolute worst were the last ones.

TayTay: Why?

TayTay: I don't want to lose you too.

TayTay: I know im asking a lot i jsut.

TayTay: I don't want to be alone.

TayTay: Im sorry, Im being selfish. I just keep asking and asking

TayTay: I should have taken a hint.

TayTay: I shouldn't be demanding anything from you.

TayTay: You are amazing and I do not deserve anything from you.

TayTay: I'm sorry. I'm rambling and it doesn't interest you. I'm sorry.

TayTay: You can block me, or ignore me, or do whatever you want. I'm sorry.

TayTay: Whatever I did, I'm so so so sorry.

TayTay: Don't listen to me, you deserve better than me.

TayTay: I hope you find a better friend than me.

She couldn't hold it in any longer.

Sarah ran to her bathroom – not that bathroom never that bathroom she would never go in that bathroom again – and emptied her stomach violently, the guilt stripping away at who she was and leaving only the thing underneath, the crawling, oily hate she felt clawing at her chest, tearing apart her ribcage and swallowing her whole.

Sarah fucking Livsey, expert extraordinare in destroying everything good in her life.

She let out a bitter, high pitched laugh before the disgust had her barfing her guts out once again.

— O —​

Sarah stared at her phone, this time from beneath her blankets. She felt that she had been doing that a lot. Staring, without doing anything. She had to stop that habit from forming before it became problematic, so she started typing before her brain could catch up with what she was doing.

«I'm sorry.»

'Sorry' didn't begin to cut it.

The ping that signaled Taylor instantly going online after she sent her message felt like a death knell.

«I shouldn't have left you alone.»

TayTay: No, im. im just happy that you're talking to me again, really, don't worry

TayTay: really its

TayTay: its okay dont worry

TayTay: you have nothing to ask me

TayTay: for forgiveness I mean

Sarah felt the guilt scratch against her ribs and reach her heart, burying itself inch by inch, her breath shallow.

«It wasn't your fault. I'm just an idiot, and»

Should she? No, no she shouldn't. Taylor still read as… vulnerable, fragile. She didn't like it. She didn't want to throw news of-

«Something bad happened and I'm, was, being an idiot about it. Don't worry. You didnt deserve to feel like that»

TayTay: …did I interrupt something? Of course you had more important things to do than letting me chat your ear off. i didnt think about that. im an idiot

TayTay: god your phone must have been buzzing and buzzing oh god I sent my stupid thoughts at 3 am fuck I must have woken you up im sorry

«Hey now, you're not stupid. You're one of the more intelligent people I know, don't sell yourself short, you deserve better»

TayTay: ok.

And that was it. That was it? Taylor saw her praise, and sends back "ok"? That… wasn't right. It wasn't the Taylor that constantly helped her keep up with whatever cape news there was, or that got flustered when she talked about people trying to parade in front of her at school, or that helped her brighten up her day in just a couple of phrases and a goofball joke.

But of course she wasn't. She had been going out of her way to ignore Taylor for two weeks straight, of course she wasn't as peppy or chatty or bright or exactly how she remembered her.

The question is, does she deserve that Taylor back?

No. No, what the hell is wrong with you, Sarah asked herself.

Why was she asking if she deserved Taylor back? The real question, the thing she should be asking is whether it was okay to leave Taylor feeling like this; abandoned, unwanted.

The answer was a resounding no.

And if she was being honest to herself, she wants Taylor back, she wants that ray of sunshine to cut away all of the muck and wrong and hate that was her life right now. It was selfish, it was self-centered, it fit perfectly with who she was.

And if it got Taylor back, back to the way she should be, she could live with being selfish. Even if Sarah didn't deserve to have that friend back, that friend didn't deserve what Sarah had done to her already.

She sighed, the exhaustion of the day attacking anew and with a vengeance, the quick boost of the energy drinks of the afternoon all but snuffed out completely. Sarah felt her thoughts slowing down, and got her goodbyes out before she could fall asleep without meaning to.

«Sleep well. I'll talk to you in the morning, alright?»

TayTay: okay. sleep well too.

Sarah was already closing an eye when her phone pinged again.

TayTay: um. It's

TayTay: it's okay if I message you first or do I wait?

TayTay: i don't want to bother you

«You're not a bother, never a bother. Message me whenever you want Tay, don't worry.»

TayTay: okay. thanks, sleep well

Sarah turned off the screen of her phone and plugged it in.

See, this is how you left Rex alone, left him till-

Her sleep was plagued with amorphous, bleeding nightmares and half-formed thoughts that drowned her in red.
 
1.4 Incrementum
Horizon

— O —

Beta'ed and or revised by;

Contradicting-Whispers

Bms111

FirstSelector



My most heartfelt thanks.

2009 October, Boston. The next morning.


She woke up with a jaw cracking yawn and a soreness that was way more emotional than physical. In fact, she still felt completely spent, as if the hours of sleep had refueled her tank of energy just enough to get her going in the morning, if barely even then.


She stretched, and flopped back into the mattress, snuggling deeper within the blankets. Sarah could still feel the very faint taste of bile in the back of her throat, and once again the guilt assaulted her when the events of the prior night made themselves known to her conscious mind.


She glanced at her phone, fully charged after a night plugged in. She turned on her screen, and a couple of messages greeted her, most of them from some half an hour ago.


TayTay: good morning


TayTay: well. I hope you have a good morning


TayTay: better than mine at least


TayTay: ignorethat no howdo you delete things here


TayTay: forget that


TayTay: im just. going to take a shower


She frowned, sleep still clinging to the corners of her brain. Did something happen to her in the morning? She rather hoped not, but knowing her luck it wasn't a wish she had any hope of coming true.


With a sigh, she stared at the ceiling. She would have to take a shower herself and get prepared for another awful day at school, where her natural answers were turning more caustic – more bitter – by the day, burning the tip of her tongue with each retort.


She didn't want to go. If she could, she would stay in bed the rest of the day chatting Taylor's ear off, but she had school too, and they could only talk when she was at home or at the library.


A little spark lit up in her brain. What if she didn't have to be at home to talk to her? The thought of being able to communicate anywhere and anytime if one of them needed something in particular or just needed to vent and decompress was quite the nice idea, one that was starting to take root in her brain. Now, how could she propose what she had in mind to Taylor in a way that she couldn't refuse?


Today was a Friday…


Tay usually had nothing to do on the weekends, sometimes hanging out with another friend she mentioned from time to time but from what she gathered they weren't all that close, more friends because each of their families were on speaking terms with one another than from any kind of significantly deep relationship. That's what she gathered, anyway.


Maybe… they could meet face to face?


She wasn't going to lie and say that she didn't want to, but the thought of Taylor seeing her with all her imperfections and slicing sarcasm sent a jolt of nerves to her stomach. After all, it was a lot easier to control the image she presented via only text.


Perhaps not this weekend – it was too soon, too sudden. She doubted Taylor would accept it if she suddenly proposed that she traveled to her city just to see – very technically – a stranger. Even if that thought stung quite a bit, it was still true.


«Are you okay? Did something happen?»


Better make sure she was fine before talking about anything else.


She heard the sounds of breakfast being made beneath her, due to her bedroom being positioned just above the kitchen, and the sound of her parent's voices engaged in a soft argument. Her distaste for them both made up her decision to stay at home that day, she just had to deal with them for the morning and endure their snide comments.


Or perhaps not.


She was fairly sure that the entire house had heard her retching her guts out for close to an hour, and she knew that at least Mother did; the particular sound of her slippers stopping just before the door of the bathroom she had been in only to continue moments later without a stutter in her step had been a pleasant reassurance to the fact that her parents were complete sociopaths.


She could play the 'im sick' card and stay in bed, only getting out of her cocoon when her parents went away. After all, it wasn't hard to imagine that they preferred she stayed home and didn't cause trouble at the school with the excuse of feeling ill. Can't break that perfect heiress image, after all.


God she hated their 'everything is PR' stupidity.


Even if Taylor couldn't be online while she was in class, she liked the thought of just spamming her with whatever bullshit popped up in this or that forum just to see if she could get a laugh out of her once it slammed into her inbox all at once when she went home. God knew they both needed a bit of cheer.


Ding.


TayTay: yyeah im okay


TayTay: no nothing. judst a bad dream


TayTay: how did you sleep?


Sarah let slide the blatant change of topic and the probably nerves induced typos. She would spoon it out of her later, she was sure. Or maybe she could archive her questions for a later date, if they ended up meeting face to face? The thought of being able to just talk about anything without the barrier of the screen made her feel anxious and at the same time… hopeful? Yes, hopeful.


Maybe she could accept Sarah, the good and the bad intertwined together in its ugly little package?


«More or less. Could have been better. Did I tell you that I almost couldn't sleep thanks to a stupid bet?»


TayTay: what bet?


TayTay: waitwait you didn't do anything dangerous didyou??


Her concern sent a little tendril of something warm burrowing into her chest. It felt… nice, knowing that someone cared about you.


It made the guilt still stabbing her all the more sharp.


«Relax, it was harmless. Well, mostly. I think my kidneys are going to hate filtering the syrup that is currently trying to mimic my blood, but it's okay.»


«Just an idiot saying that I couldn't take ten energy drinks one after the other without going to the bathroom»


«He didn't even specify size or brand. I just took ten of these little things at once. Felt jittery the entire day, but I got a hundred dollars out of it.»


TayTay: hdhshdhahshahshhsh


Sarah's lips bloomed into a smile. This is what she wanted, the bright little ray of sunshine she was before you shunned he-


TayTay: well at least you got something out of it


TayTay: what are you going to do with the money?


«Don't know, really.»


She was about to type that her allowance was higher than that, and she really didn't care about having more money stored away because she didn't know what to do with it, but it would be rude, especially if she knew that her money was basically gathering dust for no real reason.


…except she did have a reason to spend it, didn't she? She had someone that was worth it, and better it was spent for a good reason than laughing itself silly in a corner of her account or hidey holes.


«Perhaps buy something pretty.»


She didn't tell her for who it would be, though. Omission was the master of misdirection, and the idea of giving her something in person as a surprise was taking more and more space in her brain.


TayTay: okay. I have to go to class now


TayTay: tell me what you'll buy later. If you want


TayTay: see you!


It lifted some of the guilt weighing on her chest to see her back to her little old cheery self, even if only by a bit.


Sarah was ripped from her musings by a knock on the door, Mother's gratingly perfectly moderated voice coming through the wood.


"Sarah, it's time you get out of bed. Breakfast has been on the table for five minutes already." Her tone caught on a small edge of irritation laced in a way to make it seem as if she was softly chiding her.


She knew better. With just a bit of throatiness that wasn't entirely fake, she answered with a "I'm not feeling good today. I think I'm going to stay at home, see if I get better."


She thought she heard a faint huff of irritation moments before Mother's voice once again rattled on. "Well, if it's only today I suppose it can't be helped. Try not to make this into a habit, we don't need it."


Translation; your brother already shat on the table, we don't need trouble from you too.


Bitch.


She clenched her jaw as hard as she could in an attempt to abate some of the rage lapping at her synapses. Once again, a scoff behind the door, then a paired clack-clack of heels on wood slowly getting growing fainter.


Sarah eased the pressure on her teeth, and slowly cocooned herself once more, burrowing deeper into her blankets.


She really, really could use someone to chat her ear off right about now.


No one saw the tears at the edge of her eyes.


— X —​

Ding.


She really was starting to love that little sound. It woke her up, yeah, but speaking to Taylor was never a waste of time. The faint unease lingering from the night before had evaporated after her little nap, so she was smiling when she pawed the phone at the nightstand and pulled it under her blankets, the almost literal sun staring her in the face being murder to her eyes until she turned the brightness down almost to null with a squeak.


Once adapted to light again, she looked at what Taylor sent her.


TayTay: canwe talk?


TayTay: please?


TayTay: if youre not too bus


TayTay: im an idiot. you're in class


«Boo, surprise! I'm not in class. Felt a little ill and decided to not go today.»


Sarah scrunched her brow. Those first messages spoke to her about something wrong, and after some years of recognizing her speech patterns, she could say with quite some security in her own judgement that Taylor was extremely nervous. Now, about what, that was another matter entirely different.


Was she having problems at school? How was she talking to her from there anyway?


TayTay: but youre okay now right?


«Yes, I'm feeling quite better now after a little nap-» better not mention that she interrupted it. «-and talking to you now is doing wonders for my mood. How are you speaking to me anyway? Aren't you in class?»


TayTay: well, yes, but I've already finished ms Knott's assignment and


TayTay: I just wanted to talk to you


That little warm tendril coiled around something in her chest, and she found herself smiling without doing so consciously. She could poke the issue she knew was there, laying somewhere, but she decided not to.


Poor Taylor already had had enough grief caused by Sarah. If she didn't want to talk about it, she'd let her.


«You're too sweet Tay. Speaking of, do you have something to do the next weekend, Saturday in particular?


TayTay: um, not that I remember, no. why?


«No telling~! Also, make sure that day you're really free if you can. It's important»


She felt her stomach churn slightly. By saying that it was important she had all but assured that she would listen to her, at minimum. She wasn't manipulating or lying to her, just stating the truth, but it still left a bitter taste in her tongue.


TayTay: alright, I'll clear my obviously fit to bursting schedule just for you, even if I have no idea what are you trying to pull


TayTay: woe is me, I wont be able to do


TayTay: checks


TayTay: tons of nothing on my saturday. whatever shall I do


Sarah snickered and said her goodbyes after sending one last message when the hour of class Taylor had started to come to a close. It was nice having her back, even if only from time to time.


«Check your mail tomorrow!»


— O —​

Brockton Bay, next morning.


A very confused Taylor Hebert found herself taking the mail to the house, shifting through it with the expected boredom of a fourteen year old reading about bills and such when a purple envelope found itself between her hands, the texture identifiable as of high quality paper.


With something like trepidation encroaching on her chest, she opened the envelope with the careful slash of a kitchen knife and pulled out a small piece of paper from inside, staring at it in bewilderment and then shock once she realized what it was.


A ticket.


A bus ticket. For next Sunday, to Boston.


A myriad emotions warred in her face, but the most prominent, the most visible was happiness.


She was going to meet her friend.
 
Last edited:
1.5 Incrementum
Horizon

Beta'ed and/or revised by;

Contradicting-Whispers

Pendragoon

Heather-Shadelight



My most heartfelt thanks.

— O —​

TW: (Mention of) Abusive/Alcoholic parents. Bullying, physical and mental trauma. Internalized homophobia.


2009, October, that Saturday. A bus to Boston.


Taylor self consciously picked at the hem of her marine blue hoodie, ruffling and straightening it out constantly in a never-ending cycle of anxiety tinged with anticipation and a small amount of dread.


Fidgeting, she tried to calm her thoughts down, failing to not think about how much she wanted to make a good first impression on her friend, how horribly bad it could go and if maybe Sarah wasn't making a mistake, or if she would ditch her the moment she saw her, or she wouldn't recognize her and simply walked away, or if she had been playing the long game like Emm-


Breathe.


She adjusted the backpack resting on her knees once more, wincing slightly when a bruise in her arm made itself known with a dull flare of pain that had her lips pressing into a thin line in silence, even if her first instinct was to let out a sharp hiss.


Dull aches and minor pains screamed at her from all around her body, and she knew that behind her clothes she was, to put it simply, a mess.


It had started small; just little pushes in the hallways, an elbow in her way that dug into her side, someone passing too quickly and almost bowling her over, a conveniently placed foot just out of sight that almost made her fall if she hadn't arrested her fall with her forearms in time, the edged wood of a desk digging painfully into her flesh. Her arms had ached for days after that.


She couldn't tell any of this to her father, who increasingly refused her help with anything and everything; always distant, always bitter, always coming home bruised and drunk, always angry.


So she didn't.


She couldn't tell any of this to Sarah either, because she had too many issues of her own to care about hers – she knew that something had happened in those two weeks, something awful, but the mere idea of digging too much in what was essentially something she didn't belong and thus push away the only friend she had left completely terrified her to the point of near paralysis, so she didn't. She didn't dig, she didn't push, she didn't ask.


Something had happened to her friend, and she was too scared to reach out and help her. Too scared, too paranoid of fucking up, too shaken up by the experience of being completely alone, of the thought of her only friends turning their back to her at the same time.


The least she could do was be there for her if Sarah needed something, anything at all, because Taylor was completely sure that she needed her.


Too much, too much, too much.


Too much of a fucking cowar-


Breathe.



She tried to push away thoughts of school, put them out of her mind, but it was easier said than done. She still didn't know why her friend turned on her at the start of the year, and it baffled Taylor. Yes, they grew… somewhat more distant after she started talking to Sarah. With someone else to talk to she hadn't leaned so hard on Emma, she hadn't divulged all of her secrets like she had wanted at the moment, and it had seemed to bother her something fierce.


She didn't know why, then, nor did she now. Had she been so vicious, so petty all this time and she simply hadn't seen it? Was that why she almost seemed jealous each time she spoke about Sarah?


It made a certain amount of sense that she had always been this way – there had always been this glint in her eye, this edge to her – but still, there was something missing, and not knowing what, exactly, was positively driving her up the wall. It was more curiosity and need to know than any desire to get back to how things were. She had no wish to be stabbed in the back again, and any and all trust Emma had built over the years may as well be a pile of ash scattered to the winds.


Taylor closed her eyes, pressing her heated forehead to the cool crystal of the bus, the rumbling of the engine soothing and making the budding headache worse at the same time. It was a strange dichotomy, but one she enjoyed nonetheless. It helped calm her thoughts, not think about her impending meetup and possibly irreparable fuck ups or about school and how it was getting harder by the day to put a foot inside that building again.


She knew that Mom wouldn't have been happy about her for even thinking and much less suggesting that she dropped out, but the school year had barely started almost a month ago and she was so very close to completely done with it that it was getting harder and harder to care, as much as that thought hurt. Going to school had been one of the things that reminded her of Mom, one of the last things she could do to have a connection to the woman that she had been – a proud educator, through and through, to the very end.


And now that connection was sullied, too. Sullied and damaged, possibly irreparably.


Just like Mom's little knick knacks, or her clothes, or her books that were gathering dust in the basement, or the photo album that she still didn't know where it was because Dad had gotten angry when she saw her with it and took it away and gave her this look-


Breathe.



A distant rumbling took her out of the spiral of memories she had been descending faster and faster, and made her look up and through the window. They were in the city proper already, they only needed to get down to the bus station and they would be all set.


In the distance and a couple of blocks away she could see small flashes of fire and hear the unmistakable pop-pop-pop of gunfire. She scanned the scene for a moment, then deemed it sufficiently far away to not be a cause of concern – after all, there was a truce about not hitting buses or hospitals – and tried to close her eyes and relax before getting out of the bus.


An exercise in futility, as the rest of the passengers – and the pilot, if the jolt of acceleration was anything to go by – were not at all as nonchalant about having a possible cape fight near the vehicle. Taylor didn't pay much attention to that, too preoccupied with her own thoughts and the feeling of impending doom she felt about meeting Sarah face to face for the first time.


Finally, finally, the bus stopped and the doors opened. Most of the people inside got out at quite the quick pace, looking above their shoulders and talking to each other in muffled, worried whispers.


She scanned the handful of people that were waiting in the platform, almost everyone already reunited with friends or family and making a hasty retreat from the area. Taylor lagged behind, still confused about all the agitation. If they were so preoccupied about getting caught in a cape fight they just had to stay in the bus, it was what most people did back at home.


Her eyes roamed the people left, and if she was guessing right, the only girl around her age that was here had to be Sarah.


She was… pretty. Pretty in a way that she was not that sent a twinge of something to her chest.


She was biting a nail while looking at the people that had left the bus, focusing more intently on the people around her age, until a pair of bright green eyes focused on hers. She pulled out a phone, read something quickly, and looked at her again.


She approached with quick steps and a worried look in her eyes. She seemed hesitant, and Taylor squirmed slightly under her gaze. She pushed away the nascent instinct of looking down or hunching her shoulders, presenting a smaller target for stray elbows or cruel gazes.


Too quickly, she was standing close to her, not quite at arms reach but not far enough to mistake if she was speaking to her or not.


"Taylor?"


She examined her once more, noticing the similarities that Sarah had used when describing herself and the person in front of her. Taylor hadn't wanted to use photos, afraid of coming out horribly wrong and scaring away her friend, as ridiculous as the thought was, the only one that looked good in photos was Emm-


"Sarah?"


She beamed, but a shadow of worry still lingered in her eyes and features. Sarah moved to close the distance and she fought the urge to step away, inevitably flinching when a hand closed gently around her forearm and started pulling her in a direction away from where the sound of gunfire and fighting was a couple of minutes ago, eliciting a slight hiss from her when her thumb brushed against a particularly nasty bruise.


Sarah looked at her in concern, but she shook her head and tried her hand at a smile. If her expression was anything to go by, it wasn't a very convincing attempt. She tried to open a conversation with something simple.


"Did you notice the fight a couple of blocks away?"


Her head snapped in her direction, the concern now blooming into something deeper. "What fight? I heard about something going on, but…"


Taylor smiled, this was more in her territory. "Well, there was some gunfire a block and some change away from where the bus took us, and I think I saw a member of the Ambassador's in the distance. Think they were fighting the Teeth?"


Taylor looked at Sarah, noticing how she had grown pale with each uttered word, and the small smile pulling at her lips died in its cradle.


"...did I say something wrong?"


She noticed that they had stopped on a sidewalk near a park, and Sarah was giving Taylor a look of complete incredulity tinted with mounting concern.


"Taylor," she began slowly. "You were close to a cape fight. In a bus, an enclosed space. If some of those maniacs had gotten the idea of using you as meatshields you could have died."


Sarah was definitely freaking out, and the grip on her arm was passing the 'ow' grade and straight jumping into 'that hurts'.


"But," she intervened, her voice tinier than Taylor would've liked. "The truce?"


Sarah looked at her incomprehensibly and in a way that made her eyes sparkle and pull at another strange something inside Taylor's chest.


"The truce?" She continued. "The one that protects hospitals… and… buses…"


Her confusion only became more apparent, until something clicked in her head and Taylor very suddenly needed something to sit down and-


Breathe.


"There-There's no Truce here, is there?"


She nodded numbly, and Taylor felt her hands go clammy with cold sweat.


"I, I think I need somewhere to sit down."


Her friend nodded, and took her to a bench in the nearby park with gentle tugs and a nervous smile.


— X —​

Sarah held back a sigh as she took in the form of her friend.


Her friend that was currently breathing into a paper bag and trying very pointedly to not pass out.


Her worries and concerns hounded her mind with newfound vigor each time she thought back and reviewed their first interaction and Taylor's reactions.


When she had looked at her at the bus station Taylor started to hunch her shoulders and avoid her gaze, presenting a smaller, less noticeable target. It didn't look natural, or at least it didn't look like a knee-jerk reaction, not yet. It appeared more like something she taught herself, and something she had to focus on to do constantly. Not an ingrained reaction, then, which meant that whoever had done this to Taylor did so recently.


Sarah was flitting through a mental list of where she could dump a body. Blasto's territory, maybe?


Taylor's breathing seemed to come down to a more sedate level, but she was still shaking slightly, and her face was a shade or two paler than the rest of her body, not that she could see much else with that hoodie on he-


Her left sleeve slipped slightly downwards, and for a moment Sarah's eyes caught skin that wasn't that pale tone of hers, but an ugly yellow with promises and hints of something darker further downwards, where pale flesh was still covered by cloth.


She scooted closer, an arm touching Taylor's shoulder in warning and correctly anticipating the subsequent flinch. Taylor looked at her for a moment, panic flashing for a instant in her eyes, green, but not like Sarah's brilliant and clear ones. They were a deeper color, more mature. Curiously, the first thing that came to mind was 'arsenic green'.


Taylor calmed down once she recognized her, and Sarah took the opportunity to softly pull her in a one armed hug, partly to help her with the panic, partly to scout the damage as subtly as possible.


The thought of touching her made Sarah feel something strange in her chest, but she crushed it after a moment.


With one hand she started subtly applying the softest kind of pressure she could to her right arm and side, pausing when just a soft grace near one of her ribs was enough to elicit a pained hiss from her.


Taylor looked at Sarah, almost entirely out of her bout of panic, with a bewildered expression. Sarah pursed her lips and Taylor looked away with a flinch.


That reaction sent a stab of something she had come to recognize as guilt scraping against her ribs, but she brushed it off as best as she could.


"Tay, hey."


Taylor looked at her once more, the bag finally at her side. Her breathing was still somewhat labored, but that was to be expected. "Y-Yeah?"


"You're hurt. You know that, right?"


Her gaze went downwards, not meeting Sarah's. That was all the answer she needed. With a sigh, she reached out with one hand towards her face, hesitated, then went all the way despite the small voice at the back of her head whispering that you don't deserv-


Helping her friend was more important than her own feelings. She took her chin, and softly moved her face so she was facing Sarah. Taylor didn't resist.


"Why didn't you tell me?"


"I-" something eerily similar to the guilt weighing Sarah's shoulders flashed through her face. "I didn't want to be a bother, I just…" She seemed frustrated, as if she herself didn't know what she wanted to say or what she felt.


"Alright, but you're coming with me. I'm not letting you walk around town when you're in pain." Her hand left Taylor's face, and she felt an odd sense of loss at the absence of contact that she made her best to shove down because she's your friend you frea-


Before Taylor could speak, she intervened. "And yes, we're going to my house to look for something you can take for that pain. My parents aren't home until Monday, so you don't have to worry about anything." Her tone didn't leave room for argument, but her smile was soft.


"I don't want to impose," at another of Sarah's looks, she caved, "but, well… okay." There was still that flash of emotion across her features, but she still got up when Sarah did, falling into step with her.


"I hope you're not afraid of big, empty houses with more pieces of abstract art than the owners have common sense."


Taylor smiled at her stupid joke, and suddenly the day didn't seem that grey anymore.
 
Last edited:
1.6 Incrementum
Horizon

Beta'ed and/or revised by;

Contradicting-Whispers

Bms111

HeatherShadelight



My most heartfelt thanks.

— O —​

2009 October, that Saturday. Sarah's House.


The click of the door shutting rang like thunder in the silence the pair found themselves in, silence that was quickly broken by Sarah giving Taylor a small, encouraging smile and tugging at her forearm slightly, somehow avoiding all the bruises and tender spots found there, her digits soft and warm. "My room is this way. I'll find you something for the pain, okay?"


Taylor nodded, the tangled ball of emotion that sat in her chest pulsing in discomfort and shame at being so completely useless, at being unable to just hide her pain for a single, meager day, managing to worry her friend and at the same time impose upon her space. She felt like an intruder, but at the same time not, because Sarah was at her side and this was her home and she was the one to invite her but the stupid feeling that told her that she didn't belong wouldn't just go away!


She tried to not think about how Sarah's hand felt nice on her arm, or how she could move it just a bit downwards if she wanted to-


She slammed that train of thought like a beartrap snapping a young deer's leg, casting away the remnants and focusing on anything but her companion, focusing on how Sarah had been nothing but accomodating to her stupid self and was even offering something to make the experience of being a living, walking bruise a bit more bearable and not how nice her skin fel-


What the fuck is wrong with you?


She tried, she really tried to not be weird or creepy or stare but it was so hard. Sarah's hand on her pained forearm had been the only form of not necessarily positive contact, but non-aggressive nonetheless that she had had since Mom's death, where Emma started to drift apart from her and she had grown closer to Sarah.


She could almost feel Sarah's pinky brushing against her wrist and palm and it was so soft but so wrong. Sarah was her only friend, she shouldn't be thinking about Sarah that way, about how warm her skin was. Even if Sarah was pretty, she was not. She was a stick that walked and little else, more skin and bones and hard angles than soft curves and supple flesh.


The click of another door opening and then closing softly behind her snapped Taylor out of her musings, and she turned to look at Sarah, who was in turn staring at her with a clinical eye and a glint in her look.


Her room was spacious, that was the best adjective she could come up with. It had a lot of space; a wide bed, a chair with a desk with her computer, wide and clean windows that let in rays of natural sunlight and a pair of doors, one slightly open that apparently showed a bathroom by the looks of it. The other door was closed, so she could only guess what was inside. Maybe a closet?


"You can leave your backpack at the foot of the bed, if you want?"


Taylor nodded and shed her cargo. The thing had started to dig at her shoulders and it was starting to pass the uncomfortable levels straight into painful ones. She didn't really have that much, just a couple of changes of clothes just in case, some books and some toiletries just in case, too.


Sarah clapped softly, making Taylor jump and snap her head in Sarah's direction. A shadow of emotion flashed across the blonde's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. She took her hand – soft… – and guided Taylor to the edge of the bed, Sarah's hand leaving her with a sense of loss once the contact stopped and pushing down on Taylor's shoulders slightly, sitting her on the bed.


"I'll be back in a minute, okay? I'll go get some ice and something for the pain. Be right back!"


She left before Taylor could say anything, so she leaned back into the bed and–oh. That, that was a soft mattress. She sunk her hands in and it almost hugged her digits back as they sank into the material.


Without meaning to, she leaned back bit by bit until her back was touching the thing completely, and she couldn't help the sigh that immediately fled her lips. It was akin to what she imagined how laying down in a cloud would feel like.


She was… tired. The panic attack from earlier, her own emotions playing with her head, her own nascent instincts that screamed at her that something was wrong and she should be alert. It was too much stress in too little a time.


Before she knew it, her mind pulled the memory of Sarah's hand on her chin, and Taylor's eyes fluttered close.


— X —​

Sarah left her friend in her room, heart hammering a mile a minute, shame crashing down on her shoulders like the hammer of a particularly angry god that specifically hated her guts, and how could it not?


Her friend was hurt, in pain and almost wincing at the slightest of touches near her bruises and here she was trying and failing to not think about how good Taylor's hand had felt in hers, even for that short moment.


She knew how Taylor was, blabbermouth incorrigible that once she gained some form of traction would be impossible to shut up about whatever topic she had chosen to obsess over that day, be it literature or history, cape culture or world events, or simply how tea absolutely was superior in every form to coffee and how Sarah was a heathen for daring to think otherwise.


But all that hadn't prepared her for how pretty she was.


Arsenic eyes that took everything in with a flash of curiosity for everything and anything that held her attention, curly midnight black hair that reached the middle of her back, swaying slightly with even the most mild breeze in a way that should on itself have a Master rating, long legs that seemed to go on forever even now when she hadn't finished growing up, and a wide, expressive mouth that made the most radiant smile she had ever seen.


She wondered how those lips felt-


No! She's your friend!


She held her head in her hands with a whimper, having reached the kitchen a minute ago and pushing down her elbows into the granite island in the middle of the room for support.


She could almost hear her parents whispering in her ear, how what she felt wasn't natural, wasn't good, wasn't right or ethical or moral or a million other fucking things!


She chuckled in a self-depreciative manner, this situation proving to herself once more how Taylor was too good for her, how she deserves someone better than Sarah Livsey, egoistical, self-centered idiot. Here she was, obsessing over feelings that on top of being wrong never would be reciprocated when Taylor was hurt and she should be looking for the ice gel and not obsessing over stupid, inconsequential things like how she felt.


Once she found the damn things – and they were cold – she went upstairs as quickly as she could without bowling over and having a particularly bloody date with the floor, all the while shoving down and aside her own thoughts and feelings as best as she could, managing to restrain them even if only slightly.


She opened the door to her room, and immediately all the air rushed out of her lungs not unlike if she had been gutpunched, her fingers digging painfully in the packs of gel.


She couldn't tear her eyes away from the figure laying on her bed, a blanket of black hair sprawled around the mattress, her hoodie rolled up slightly and showing a hint of stomach that had her breath cutting short and heat blooming on her cheeks.


All of that was washed away with cold fury when it rolled up a little more, and the whisper of a bruise could be almost seen, covered by the fabric. She approached the bed with gritted teeth, hesitating for a moment before laying a hand on Taylor's cheek and shaking her slightly while speaking as softly as she could to not startle her but still wake her up, it was a careful balance.


"Taylor. Hey, Taylor, I need you to wake up. Come on sleepyhead…"


She mumbled something in her sleep, and Sarah's brain short circuited when she started nuzzling her hand, trapping it between the mattress and Taylor. She couldn't help but caress her face for a moment before she snapped out of it, and she repeated what she said in a slightly higher tone.


Thankfully, this time Taylor seemed to hear her, if the blearily blinking eyes behind askew glasses were anything to go by. "Wha'?"


Sarah smiled, a small little thing. "Come on, I need to apply some ice to those bruises. Up you go."


Taylor got into a seating position from where she was, legs hanging out from the edge of the bed and grumbling in an intelligible manner.


Sarah started tugging at the hem of Taylor's hoodie, getting it off of her and sucking in a breath between her teeth when she saw the state of her arms beneath the cloth, the short sleeved black shirt she wore underneath protecting her torso from Sarah's searching gaze.


She was a mess. She could see at least a dozen little bruises on each arm, with one or two being bigger than the rest and colored a light shade of purple in the center instead of yellow with just a hint of the darker color, like the rest.


Taylor swayed slightly until Sarah sat at her side, her head immediately moving in Sarah's direction and finding a resting place on her shoulder, making Sarah's breath hitch for a moment, Taylor's eyes closing once more and her glasses almost falling off of her. She reached with two fingers and plucked the item from the bridge of her nose, leaving them in the nightstand so they didn't fall and break. Taylor mumbled something and almost seemed to fall asleep once again.


She took one of her arms with all the care in the world, and – she couldn't bring herself to press the iced pack against Taylor's skin, as peaceful as she looked right now without her glasses and her hair disheveled from her short nap. She just couldn't, it would wake Taylor up and be uncomfortable for her and – and she was weak. Sarah couldn't do it, bring herself to make her friend uncomfortable like that, even if it was illogical and in the long term, the smart option.


She left the packs in the floor, uncaring of what happened to them, and pushed Taylor once more towards the bed, intent on tucking her in so she had a restful sleep instead of nightmarish back pain once she woke up like she would have had, had she slept in that horrible position Sarah found her in.


Between how little she weighed and a few coaxing touches, she was beneath the blankets in no time and Sarah couldn't help but admire Taylor once more, even if she shouldn't.


A guilty, rogue hand sneaked up to her friend's face, admiring the softness of her skin beneath her hands and how warm she felt, and for a moment, she let herself bask in the moment, in the sensation.


Then she pulled away with a more acute sense of loss than before, intent on leaving Taylor to her rest and well deserved relaxation when a hand grabbed hers the moment she started to pull away. It was a soft, almost breeze-like touch, one she could easily break with nary an effort.


She didn't.


"Stay," she mumbled, and Sarah couldn't bring herself to say no. Taylor mumbled some more, something that sounded suspiciously like, "don't leave," and "not like Emma."


Emma? Wasn't that Taylor's other friend?


A small spark, just an idle thought entered her mind. What if Emma had done this, or encouraged someone else to do it?


No, no. She shouldn't think about people close to Taylor that way, even if she was jealous of her for living in the same city as Taylor.


But why would she mention something like that?


Because she did the same thing as you, whispered a part of her mind, and she couldn't help but close her eyes at the familiar sense of guilt stabbing her chest and squirming inside her ribcage like a living thing.


Taylor's hand grabbed her more firmly, tugging weakly in the direction of the bed, and Sarah couldn't bring herself to deny her.


She left her footwear on the floor and crawled inside the bedsheets, her friend's arms immediately circling around her in search of warmth, Taylor's head coming to rest near her chest.


She couldn't help but start rubbing Taylor's scalp with her fingertips, little mumbling sounds coming out of the sleeping beauty's mouth.


Her body heat was soothing on her nerves, and Sarah found her eyes fluttering closer and closer to completely shut with each passing second.


Well, she thought to herself. I can be selfish for a little while…


Her dreams were plagued by arsenic green.
 
Last edited:
1.7 Incrementum
Horizon

Beta'ed and/or revised by;

Contradicting-Whispers

Heather Shadelight


My most heartfelt thanks.


— O —​

2009 October, that Saturday. Sarah's House, late afternoon.



Sarah found herself wrapped in something soft and warm, a pair of arms circling around her waist and pulling her towards Taylor, the brunette currently sleeping softly with a peaceful expression, no signs of distress or skin pulled taut due to stress or nerves.


She shifted a little and Taylor left a small pained gasp when one of Sarah's arms brushed against her torso as they moved upwards from their position at the other's hips, the slight touch near her ribs enough to startle her awake, if barely. Sarah had absolutely no idea how she slept that soundly if she was that sensitive to touch. Sarah knew she wasn't precisely still when sleeping.


"Taylor."


She looked up and froze the moment she noticed the position they were in. It wasn't anything indecent, but it still was cuddling and Sarah couldn't deceive herself enough to say that it didn't feel nice. For a moment, she managed to shove aside the little nagging whisper at the back of her head that insisted that she didn't deserve to be there.


She was distracted by the shade of red Taylor's cheeks started to acquire, growing deeper by the second and reaching downwards towards her neck, the remainder of the blush being covered by the black shirt she still had on her. Sarah felt faint disappointment in not seeing the rest before she quashed the thought.


"Come on, we…" Sarah yawned, her jaw popping uncomfortably. She rolled her neck, trying to do away with the little stiffness that survived the quite comfortable nap. "I need to ice those bruises, then," another yawn, this time it was a bit easier to open her eyes once more. "Then we'll get some food, and then…" Sarah threw a very pointed look at Taylor, gaze softening when she saw how her friend tried to hide herself once more beneath the blankets.



"Then you'll tell me how, exactly, you got injured, and I'm not going to accept 'the stairs mugged me' as an answer."


Sarah's attempt at levity apparently had some slight success, because the pale tone of skin that Taylor had started to acquire when Sarah spoke about scooping out of her the cause of her bruises lessened slightly, a small smile tugging at her lips, one that mirrored Sarah's.


The blonde recovered the now damp gel packs from the floor and went downstairs for another pair, glad that her parents were rich assholes and always bought a couple of everything, even if they didn't use it.


Perks of functional sociopathy applied to the working market, she supposed.


Leaving the room temperature ones and picking out the ice-cold pair, Sarah entered her room once more only for her breath to hitch once again at the sight of Taylor looking in her direction and rubbing the sleep of one eye, the other squinting slightly in her direction.


Right, glasses. Stop crushing on your friend and help her, idiot.


"Here, let me." Sarah reached the nightstand beside the bed and plucked the glasses from it, turning to Taylor and gingerly placing the spectacles on her once she stopped rubbing her eye. "There, perfect." Sarah gave Taylor a smile, then gestured with the gel packs. "Now comes the not-so-fun part. Ready?"


Taylor sighed, then spoke with a tone laden with resignation. "Is it really necessary? I've always hated ice and it leaves you damp and wet and it's uncomfortable and can't we wait for them to fadeeee-holy shit that smarts!"


"Now don't be a baby, the cold isn't that bad and it'll help a lot long term, better than heat that's for sure." Taylor hissed once again when she moved from a smallish bruise to a larger one, her teeth clenched but staying still nonetheless.


Sarah piled on the banter, trying to take away her mind from the pain and cold after waking up from an admittedly quite nice nap. "Now, see how it wasn't that bad?" Sarah smiled at her, "now just be a good girl and stay still for a while."


At that Taylor went completely still, a nuclear blush overtaking her features a second later. Sarah bookmarked that as 'interesting, needs further research' in the back of her mind and let it fade into obscurity.


She worked like that, pressing the packs to the affected zones and telling Taylor to put the arm she just finished up in the air, because that supposedly helped.


That's what the internet said, anyway. She wasn't going to question it anytime soon if it could be helped.


The silence was broken some minutes later, Sarah's voice cutting through the pleasant atmosphere and turning it into something quite a bit more tense, seeing how Taylor's shoulders hunched and she started avoiding her gaze. "So, how did you get these anyway?"


Taylor took a minute to answer, but when she did she did so in a small voice, one that if it weren't for the silence currently permeating the room except for the sound of plastic on skin Sarah would have surely missed. "Do I… do I have to? I, it's my problem, and I don't…"


"Don't finish that, Taylor." Sarah interrupted in a gentle way that still had an undercurrent of hardness. "You aren't a bother, and I- this…" she gestured towards her arms, "isn't normal. Not at all."


Sarah locked her eyes with Taylor's, verdant emeralds meeting arsenic Scheele. "Please," she said, more plea inflected into her tone than a simple word could convey, "I worry about you. You don't have to answer me right away, or not at all if you want to, but, please, talk to me."


Sarah had stopped applying pressure to the spots in her arms, and given that to do the same to the rest of the injuries Taylor would have to lose her shirt; it was something she did not want to ask right now. This was more important.


Taylor seemed to waver and almost collapse on herself, until she apparently found her bearings and met her gaze once again, green locked on green. She gave a small sigh of resignation, and started to talk.


"You, well, you remember Emma, yeah?" At Sarah's nod she continued, a little faster. "We were friends, really close when we were little, but then I met you in that forum, and started to talk a bit more with you, and I think Emma didn't like it that I had another friend. She always had this… edge to her, and I think I just noticed recently." Sarah smiled when she mentioned their first encounter on the net, and Taylor apparently was doing the same, a small little smile tugging at her lips while she remembered.


"What was our first chat about? Something about Eidolon's best power combination?"


Sarah let the small change of topic slide, knowing that they would come back to the issue. "Yeah. We argued about power combos and interactions for almost three days straight. I think we were trying to one-up one another with ridiculous synergies, there at the end." Her smile and Taylor's too turned into a fond one.


Taylor chuckled, "yeah. Well, at least I was, and now I know you were too."


The pleasant silence stretched for a couple of minutes in which Sarah got out a hairbrush and positioned herself behind Taylor after some maneuvering, promptly starting to brush her friend's hair, silky as it was. Honestly, it was more of a cheap excuse so she could run her fingers through it.


She didn't push, she had already opened the can of worms, now Taylor only needed some time to compose herself.


"She turned on me the week that we started the year."


Sarah's brain stuttered and promptly tried to catch fire, the now well known taste of guilt readily making itself known at the back of her throat.


"She just… flipped, I guess. Said she didn't need me anymore, that I was weak, that she was strong. There was this other girl with her, talk, athletic, sneering face by default, the works. So I assumed that this other girl had gotten Emma into something that reeked of illegality." Taylor exhaled, getting a bit more worked out with each passing second, but Sarah could tell that the brush grazing her scalp was being a good distraction and stress relief.


"I tried to talk, really, I tried. She just wouldn't listen, so I stopped trying. That's when it started." Sarah made a very pointed effort to not ask and interrupt. "First it was just whispers on the hallways, then things scribbled in my desk, then my chair, then my locker, then the things inside my locker, no matter how many times I changed the combination each day things would just up and vanish, as if my life was being played in the stage of a bad magician. Just, poof. Gone."


Taylor laughed. It was a bitter sound, filled with something caustic. Sarah didn't like that laugh, so she stopped using the brush and started rubbing her fingertips in Taylor's scalp, the latter falling silent after that. Hesitation seemed to pass across Taylor's body, teetering on the edge of something before finally deciding and leaning against Sarah, her head coming to a rest in such a way that Sarah could plant her chin in the crown of Taylor's head.


Taylor let out a sigh, and positioned herself, trying to squeeze just some more warmth and find just a little bit more comfort. "Then things started to get physical." At that, Sarah had to stop her fingers and take a deep breath before she did or said something rash.


"As with the other thing, it started small. Spitballs, weighted paper balls to the back of the head, targeting me in softball…" Sarah breathed out, and that idea about dumping someone in Blasto's territory was starting to sound more and more appealing by the second. She wasn't a violent girl, but she very much wanted to stab someone right now. Preferably a redhead.


"Then it got worse. Elbows on the hallways, trying to trip me constantly, pulling at my backpack so I fell, people running in the hallways and slamming into me with nary a 'i'm sorry'... I'm sure I saw most of them smirking."


Taylor fell silent, and the guilt continued to crash against Sarah's mind. All of that at the start of the year course, just when she had abandoned her, just when Rex decided that life wasn't really worth it anymore. "I'm… I'm sorry."


Taylor moved her head backwards and to the side, intent on looking at her eyes. "Why-? I mean, I'm the one in your house freeloading, airing my grievances which I doubt concern you and somehow managing to- just," she sighed. "I'm just – happy, that you're still my friend…"


Sarah gulped past the knot in her throat. "I'm still sorry. For leaving you alone. You didn't deserve it. It's just…" the knot tightened, and suddenly it was hard to breathe, let alone speak. She- she couldn't talk about Rex. It was too fresh, too raw, too recent too bloody too red


Soft arms circled her waist and she found her face buried in the crook of the neck of her friend, Taylor rubbing her back in small circles while she tried desperately to not cry, her efforts dashed when she noticed the dampness in Taylor's shirt. She reached with her own arms to reciprocate her hug, but recoiled when she brushed a bruise, arms almost falling to Sarah's sides before Taylor scooped them out from beneath and put them around the back of her neck. "It doesn't hurt there," was the soft murmur she heard, and Sarah held on for dear life.


She didn't know how much time it took her to calm down from the memories, but what she knew was that Taylor was there from start to finish, acting as a rock and stabilizing force.


God, thought Sarah, how can I be so pathetic? She was the one supposed to comfort Taylor and help her through whatever had landed her those injuries, not bawl her eyes out at the mere thought of speaking aloud about Rex.


Taylor glanced outside, and saw that the natural light of the day was coming to an end if the reds and oranges streaming across the crystal panes were a clue to go by.


"You don't have to talk about it," were Taylor's first words in minutes, and that was that. No questions, no judgment, no nothing. Just an open offer to just ignore the issue.


It was cowardly, and selfish, and the easy way out.


She took it anyway.


"I-I don't think I wa-nt to cook anything…"


Taylor simply smiled at her, that wide, radiant thing that made her want to pull her into a kiss.


"Pizza sounds good?"


Sarah nodded, but didn't let go of Taylor, staying latched onto her as best as she could.


Taylor didn't protest, she just looked at her with kind, green eyes.
 
Last edited:
1.8 Incrementum
Horizon


Beta'ed and/or revised by;


Slider214

Heather Shadelight

Contradicting-Whispers



My most heartfelt thanks.


— O —​


2009 October 31st, Sunday. Boston, Sarah's House, night.


The sound of a random movie played in the background, more for white noise value than any kind of possible entertainment it could have offered with the pair being currently curled up on the couch, an empty box of pizza resting on the table in front of them.


Taylor took a moment to study Sarah's features in the dim light provided by the TV, the middling rays of the day outside already having given way to midnight black quite some time ago. She looked peaceful after her momentary bout of crying, her eyes still slightly puffy and her eyelids halfway dropped.


Taylor frowned, lost in thought. She could extrapolate what had left her friend a crying mess – in fact, she already had, or so she thought – and the tentative theories weren't compelling at all. She knew it had something to do with Rex due to a whisper between sobs she wasn't entirely sure she had been meant to hear, but hear it she did. The slight mark on some of the furniture and the halfway empty trophy stand painted one of two pictures.


Sarah's brother had fled his home, an understandable action given what little she knew of Sarah's home life, or… Rex had died, somehow. Maybe a cape fight, maybe an accident, maybe something else entirely, she just didn't have enough information and she wasn't about to start a hunt for more.


Taylor couldn't bring herself to shove away the tiny part of her that hated Rex for leaving her friend alone, no matter his reasons.


Taylor's right hand found itself draped across Sarah's shoulders and tugged her slightly in Taylor's direction, Sarah complied and curled up further beneath the blanket they shared at the moment. She couldn't help the blush that spread across her cheeks, but it still didn't wipe away her frown.


Sarah's approach to physical affection was… strange, to say the least. Taylor was trying the same thing Emma had done with her at the start, when Mom had died, and she offered all the physical comfort that she could before they drifted apart – besides, she would be lying to herself if she said that being able to touch another human being in a positive way wasn't nice. Putting all of that aside, Sarah didn't start the contact, ever. She just kind of… hovered around it, skittish, and seemingly wanting to initiate a touch here or there but always pulling back at the last second.


The curious thing was that if she initiated the contact, Sarah didn't have the slightest issue reciprocating – and did so to a great extent, even, evidence being the half-asleep blonde ball at her side. It was almost as if she was… afraid? No, that couldn't be it. Afraid of what?


Then…?


Not knowing was driving her slightly insane, but she held on and endured it. Her friend didn't deserve having Taylor prying into her private life, and she absolutely did not want to push her away over something silly like curiosity or stupid questions that she could have just kept to herself.


She wasn't proud to admit that she still was terrified of losing her one and only remaining friend, and if it meant not sticking her nose where it didn't belong, she could live with that. Even if it was clear that Sarah was not okay, she just… wouldn't, couldn't lose her, the thought alone was too painful.


The isolation at the start of the school year was still too raw at the edges of her mind, jagged and sharp. She absolutely did not want to taste that kind of despair once again. It had been almost as bad as the first month after mom died, where it looked like the car crash had taken Da- Danny, too – back then he had been – still is, something whispered – barely anything more than a puppet with frayed strings dancing to the tune of a broken record.


Sarah mumbled something, and Taylor stopped playing in circles with her own thoughts, the abrupt change of thought process making everything a bit disorienting and thus missing Sarah's words the first time. "Come again?"


Sarah sighed, her voice soft. "Did you warn your father that you'll be staying?"


Taylor diverted all the effort she could spare to not snort; in laughter, derision, or plain bitterness, she herself didn't know. She failed. "I doubt he can see three steps in front of him right…" she looked at the nearby windows, the night greeting her, "about now. I left a note, but…" she didn't shrug because she didn't want to disturb the blonde, but it was a near thing.


Sarah curled further around her, and Taylor strengthened the hug. "M'sorry…"


A bit of a squeeze and some seconds later to gather her thoughts, she answered. "It's not your fault. Danny, isn't, he isn't who he was. I honestly…" Taylor bit her lip, then shook her head. "Nevermind. Don't worry about him."


The minutes passed in silence, the pair looking-and-not at the TV playing whatever in front of them, their senses more tuned to each other than pointed at the world around them, thanks to that Taylor captured the barely whispered word that came out of Sarah's mouth.


"Can…" she fell silent, and Taylor felt her fidgeting. She looked at her face, and it was almost akin to seeing a war, two conflicting sides fighting for dominance. Conflict that stopped abruptly when Taylor spoke three innocent words.


"...We sleep again?" She finished for her, and Sarah nodded minutely after a lengthy pause. Taylor felt her stomach do weird, tingly things, but she pushed on, nodding. "Of course''.


After turning off the TV and freshening up they ended in the same position they had started the afternoon with, with Sarah still needing to be careful around Taylor's torso, but still as close as they could.


It was the best sleep either of them had had in years, barring their nap beforehand.


— X —​


2009 November 1st, Sunday. Boston, Sarah's House, morning.


"Sarah no-"


"Sarah yes. You need a phone, I have a second one I don't use. You need something that has connectivity so we can talk whenever, I have a second line that I don't use. You live in a hellhole plagued by living multi-ton blenderwolfs and human-trafficking rage dragons, you're not getting out of this house without a way for you to call for help. I refuse."


Sarah very much wanted to stamp her foot on the floor. It would be childish, yes, but satisfying and a good, nonverbal 'and that's that.' she could use it to get her point across.


Taylor sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, moments later adjusting her glasses and caving in with a look that Sarah almost fooled herself into thinking was fond exasperation. "Alright, okay, okay, no need to go all Lung on me, jeez…"


Sarah's lips twitched upwards, but she refused to be seen as anything else than unyielding. Taylor took another look at her extended hand and took the phone she was offering, a black little thing that had barely seen any use since leaving the box. It still had her other SIM card inside and a complete charge after leaving it plugged for a bit while they showered – having three two extra bathrooms and one per room was quite the boon.


"So, what do we do today?" Sarah asked Taylor over a mug of coffee while her friend prefered a bowl of cereal. Taylor had reused her hoodie and jeans look from yesterday, changing only the essentials. Sarah personally thought that someone so cuddly shouldn't hide away so much of herself, but she shoved aside the thought, then quashed the one that whispered in her ear that that way Sarah couldn't have Taylor all for herself.


"'Dunno. I've barely read anything about Boston anyway, I was expecting you to be my guide if I'm being honest." Sarah narrowed her eyes at her, and Taylor smiled, moments later showing Sarah her tongue in faux mockery. She wanted to reach out and-


"Yeah? Well, I'm not a glorified interactive map, thank you very much. You can use your brand new phone for that. If you want my services you will have to offer up an appropriate tribute." Sarah sniffed haughtily in her direction, hiding her twitching lips with the rim of her mug.


Taylor couldn't do the same thing with the bowl, so she didn't hide her smile. "And what would entail an appropriate payment, your smugness?"


Sarah couldn't hold it anymore. She burst in giggles followed shortly by Taylor. Minutes after they were gasping, trying to recover from their bout of laughter with cheeks red and smiles firmly in place.


They spent the day near Accord's or the PRT's territory, more window shopping and looking for places to eat than doing anything in specific. One of their stops was the famous Boston library, where Sarah had to almost physically pry Taylor away from the building. Taylor had been pouty the rest of the day, and Sarah's warring impulses for and against grabbing her and planting a kiss on those lips had been almost akin to torture.


Taylor and Sarah were, at the moment, waiting at the bus station for Taylor's bus back to the Bay, and Sarah was doing all that she could to not throw herself at her friend and plead at her to simply not go, as stupid and short-sighted as that would be.


Taylor had no support structure here. No roof that could shelter her, no one to take care of her, no comfort to be had now that the winter was rearing its ugly head.


She still wanted her to stay. It was a stupid, selfish desire.


Par for the course in her life.


Sarah fidgeted, uneasy and unsure. She wanted to reach out, but there was always the nagging voice at the back of her head, remarkably similar to Mother's that spoke about what was right and wrong. She wanted to squeeze the life out of her, but she couldn't bring herself to do the first step. She wanted-


Two arms circled her waist and pressed her against Taylor, Sarah's head falling beneath the taller girl's chin. She had a few years on Taylor, but it seemed like her growth had stopped quite some time ago. As her chin came to rest on the crown of Sarah's head, she suddenly couldn't bring herself to be upset about her lack of growth.


A moment of hesitation quickly discarded caused Sarah to snuggle deeper into Taylor's embrace, the smell of fresh apples reaching her nose and helping her calm down. Some past version of Sarah would probably be appalled at how hard and how fast a twinge of affection for a friend that was too close and too far away at the same time had turned into a massive crush. For a moment, she was glad that Taylor had been too touch-starved to notice how Sarah's behavior wasn't, precisely, the norm.


Then the guilt of that thought threatened to rip her heart out, and it was all she could do to stifle a small, strangled gasp.


She failed.


"Hey," Taylor murmured against her hair. "We'll, uhm…" she seemed uncomfortable by her body language alone. Sarah couldn't bring herself to look at Taylor. Not right now. "If, if you want to we'll keep seeing each other, yeah? I don't know how much money I can scoop out of Da- Danny, before he notices, but…"


Sarah let out a wet chuckle, the feeling inside her chest mingling with self hatred in a caustic, tar-like mixture that very well could have poisoned the entire Nile river in a biblical tale.


Once again, thinking only about herself and only herself, and poor Taylor worrying over paying mere bus tickets that barely – if she was being modest – made a dent in her savings.


She shook her head. "Don't, don't worry about that. Don't worry about the tickets, or money, or, or anything else." She held on tighter in an almost crushing hug when she saw the bus in the distance. "Just, come to see me when you can? Please?"


Taylor hummed against her scalp, a pleasurable tingle that shot down from the top of her head. "We'll talk, and… and if you're sure about the money, I'll come every time your parents aren't home. If, well, if you want to."


"Of course I do, you dork." She let go with extreme reluctance once she saw that the bus had reached them, people already mounting and giving the last goodbyes to relatives and friends.


"We'll talk later, okay?"


It was true. Now they could communicate whenever, wherever, and for any reason at all. Seeing Taylor start walking towards the bus still felt as if someone had scooped something out of her chest. What, she did not know.


Sarah had turned around, not wanting the last memory she would be able to make with her one of Taylor waving at Sarah for the last time in probably weeks when someone slammed into her from behind, making her squawk and lifting her with a pair of arms that she was starting to recognize by feeling alone. "Thank you for everything," whispered Taylor, seconds later leaving her on the ground and running back towards her transport.


Sarah couldn't help but smile, watery as it was.


That would be the first and last time they saw each other before everything went wrong.
 
1.9 Incrementum
Horizon


Beta'ed and/or revised by;


Contradicting-Whispers

Heather Shadelight


My most heartfelt thanks.


— O —​

2009 November 26th, Thursday. Boston, Sarah's High School, recess.


Brrt.



Sarah unlocked her phone, leaving her half eaten lunch to the side and forgetting about it almost immediately.

The usual group of people that had tried to ingratiate themselves to her gave Sarah odd looks, but she didn't mind them one bit. They had only pushed harder and harder since Rex's passing, so she wasn't in any hurry whatsoever to befriend – nor date, mind you – any of them. At all.


TayTay: camwe talk?

TayTay: please?


Sarah grimaced, lines of worry etching themselves into her face in but an instant. Most of the times Taylor reached out to her around this hour were when things at her school had gotten too dire to just endure and bear it as she usually did.

She hated it.

She hated not being there for her in any way or form other than digitally, and even then, only when she managed to spirit herself away from her tormentors.

Sarah had had Taylor try anything and everything, from speaking to the Teachers, to the Principal, to the people at other schools so she could solicit a transfer. Nothing worked. The teachers rebuffed her or just gave out a slap on the wrist that turned to much much worse abuse in the following days, the principal did nothing but discredit her and hand out detentions like they were going out of style, and the other schools simply refused to accept any transfer in the middle of the school year even if they've had barely two months of school as of right now.


«Sure thing Tay. What happened?»


TayTay: just

TayTay: the usual I guess

TayTay: but worse. Emma said something about mom and I jsut

TayTay: ran


«To the bathroom?»


TayTay: home. I went home. or


The pause lengthened for three restless minutes, and Sarah sent a message before she could stop herself. Taylor needed her right now, so she would be there for her. It was the least she could do to repay the kindness she had shown Sarah by not casting her aside, like you did.



«Or?»

«Tay, talk to me. You know you can. And don't start with the 'burden' speech, I've already told you, you aren't. Now spill.»


Sarah swallowed a grimace. Perhaps she had been a tad too forceful there…


TayTay: okay.

TayTay: I just. dont feel at home here anymore

TayTay: it's where I live but

TayTay: well. danny is more of a stranger than not

TayTay: and

TayTay: and it would be so much better if you lived nearby. or me. I wouldnt mind movingto boston


«I wouldn't mind moving there, honestly. Even with all the gangs you have there, here at home we have the Teeth, and…»

«Yeah. The Teeth. I think they're reason enough to vacate town if I'm being honest.»

«I don't know if I should be relieved or annoyed that my parents don't want to move.»


TayTay: why?

TayTay: the relieved or annoyed thing I mean


«Because they don't want to move from somewhere where those complete psychopaths are stationed, but at the same time I know that if we moved we would certainly do so farther from you. Possibly outside the estate.»

«I don't want that.»


TayTay: yeah. yeah me neither.


Sarah needed a change of topic, something to shift Taylor's attention away from the general awfulness of her school and their separation. Her parents still hadn't vacated the house again, and both of them were getting antsy for another visit and the fun times and relaxation ensured with it.

Ah, she knew just the thing.


«Do you know what I saw the other day?»

«A dude from the Teeth in the distance. The moron had a pelvis strapped to his forehead as if it were a set of antlers.»

«He even made deer sounds»


TayTay: I dont know if i should be disturbed or amused

TayTay: wait deer sounds?

TayTay: how does a deer sound!?


«Dunno. Like a deer? Don't ask me, I'm a city girl.»

«And maybe disturbingly amused?»


TayTay: Wouldn't that make me a psychopath?


«Depends, I'd say.»

«I did cackle at the memory, of course.»

«Once I finished running away in the other direction.»


TayTay: you didnt get hurt did you?


«Nope. You know that I'd tell you if that happened.»

«Just so you didn't fret over anything and everything all at once.»


TayTay: msorry


Sarah's grimace came back with a vengeance. Back to square one?


«Dont be, really.»


What else could she say to keep her off balance?

Ah, yes. That.

Her cheeks reddened slightly, but she managed to type the message correctly without stumbling around her fingers too much.


«Besides, I like when you get all worried about me. It's cute.»


Sarah counted the flustered keysmash that followed as a victory, and that had her in a good mood. Her smirk said as much to anyone that bothered looking at her.


«I have to go Tay. Talk to you later, okay?»


TayTay: aw. okay talk to you later

TayTay: have fun

TayTay: I guess?

TayTay: Im going to shut up now


«Cute.»


TayTay: shdhhekkc

TayTay: stop


Sarah's smile widened.


— O —​

2009 December 18th, Friday. Boston, Sarah's House, late afternoon.


Sarah was pacing. There were no two ways around it.

She was nervous. She hadn't received a single message from Taylor in the entire day, her usual morning greetings left forgotten in the chat log, buried after more messages asking for her and her wellbeing.

She forced herself to sit in her bed, clenching and unclenching her fists in a constant rhythm that did nothing to calm her nerves, only exacerbating them by giving physical but no mental release to the coiled spring wrapped in stress that was her mind right now.

She closed her eyes and tried to cast her most pessimistic thoughts aside, the darkest ones that spoke about-

Sarah flinched at the missed step that almost sent her spiraling again into her darkest memories and nightmares. She wouldn't go back there. She couldn't.


Sarah hugged herself with the hoodie Taylor had worn the last – and only – time she had been in Sarah's house. Taylor had left it hidden in her closet with a small note, saying how Sarah's wardrobe clearly needed some more fluffy clothing for the winter. It was a clear lie. Sarah didn't care.

The piece of clothing had been serving her mostly as comfort clothes inside the sanctity of her own bedroom, and it was doing its best job now, keeping her from falling into fear or 'what if's too hard'.

The fabric wasn't even all that smooth, and it was too big for her – but she counted that as a bonus – but she didn't care about that. The most important piece of it was that it was Taylor's, and that's all that mattered to help center her.


Ding.


Sarah almost bodily flung herself towards the nightstand, snatching her phone from the charging cable and already taking in greedily the message that just arrived.


TayTay: sar ah I

TayTay: I fucked up

TayTay: I shouldnt have

TayTay: why am I so stupid

TayTay: god I

TayTay: I cant


Panic was starting to seep into Sarah's brain, drilling in its tendrils and rummaging around her synapses leaving behind a trail of oily dread.


«Taylor please talk to me»

«Whats wrong?»

«Ive been worried all day»


TayTay: I idid something stupid

TayTay: i felt alone and

TayTay: I didjnt want to bothr you

TayTay: i took moms flute to class

TayTay: and

TayTay: and I'm so so stupid why did I do that I shouldnt have god im

TayTay: inm an idiot and now Imn rambling andcrying at you and im sorry


«Taylor. Taylor please, tell me what happened. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.»


TayTay: I

TayTay: oksy

TayTay: I had it my locker

TayTay: thef lute

TayTay: and whennI got there

TayTay: it

TayTay: it jdsut wasnt there

TayTay: then emma saids omething about it

TayTay: fthen I saw it in trhe trash

TayTay: they ditnt let me get there

TayTay: it was destroyed ansd xovered in somthing awful


Sarah had to bite her own tongue to avoid screaming bloody murder in the middle of the almost-night. By Scion, how she wanted to barge into the bay and stomp that redhead bitch's neck into the fucking sidewalk.

Sarah sent an «im here» in between all of that, both for Taylor and for her own peace of mind. A reassurance both for her and for her friend.


TayTay: I went later lookiing for jt

TayTay: but it wanst there

TayTay: it jsut

TayTay: vanished

TayTay: comoletely

TayTay: and I

TayTay: its my failt

TayTay: I lost it and its my fault


Sarah curled beneath her blankets, wishing very dearly that she could comfort and reassure her friend in a place without bullies, without neglectful parents, without the general stupidity of Earth Bet speaking in broad strokes. No gangs, no heroes, no Endbringers, no nothing. Just them.


TayTay: I

TayTay: I dont know

TayTay: how muchmore I can endure

TayTay: im

TayTay: im judts

TayTay: so tired


Sarah's blood ran cold.

No, no. She had to be imagining things, she had to be projecting. It wasn't what she was thinking about.


«Taylor?»


Silence. She waited one, three, five minutes.


«Taykor where are you»

«speak to me»


Her heart started hammering in her chest. She used the speed dial option, and the call fell through. Not a single ring. No signal. No nothing.

Breathe, Sarah. Maybe she just… doesn't have charge left. Yeah, let's go with that.

She called her landline, and waited. And waited. And waited more.

Nothing.

She called. And called again, and again, and again.

Nothing. Each and every time.


No matter how many times she called, how many messages she sent, how many pleas she prayed nor how many tears she spilled, how much her soul wailed or how she tore herself apart, there, was, nothing.



That day, she went to sleep between sobs and a heart heavy with dread.


The next one, she didn't leave her bed at all. She didn't eat, she didn't speak, she didn't do anything else other than keep trying and messaging.


The third day, something broke inside her.


She dreamt of s t a r s and [SCHEMATICS]
 
1.10 Incrementum
Horizon


Beta'ed and/or revised by;


Contradicting-Whispers

Pendragoon

Heather Shadelight


My most heartfelt thanks.


— O —​


2009 December 21st, Monday. Boston, Sarah's House, early morning.


The sound of a fist pounding on wood woke Sarah with a start, her body feeling as if it had been thrashed by a sixteen wheeler with a particularly unpleasant driver.


That is, she felt like shit.


She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her blankets and hoodie and forget that the world existed.



"Sarah Livsey, get up in this instant! You have classes today and I'm not letting you play hooky like some deranged, shameless guttersnipe!"


She couldn't hold it in. Not now.


"Fuck off!"


An enraged scream was Mother's answer, followed quickly by the thunk-thunk of her slippers on the wooden floor quickly retreating from her door. Sarah didn't care in the slightest, she knew that she could still push quite a bit before her parents snapped at her and probably threw her into a closed elite boarding school for nuns or something else that ridiculously over the top.


Sarah deflated. She just… couldn't care at the moment. She felt drained and lesser, as if someone had just ripped away a chunk of her and made off with it in the dead of night, leaving nothing but a jagged outline of a missing something that should but wasn't there.


Her thoughts were a jumbled mess of half formed concepts bathed in the everpresent panic that now simmered just below the surface, waiting for a single slip up to froth forth and drown her, smothering any and all levels of conscious reasoning and leaving nothing behind but a scared, wounded animal.



Tears came to the corners of her eyes, and Sarah forced herself to look again at her phone. A phone that still yet had to beep or emit a single sound that wasn't the sharp click of a message sent and no response given or her fingertips frantically tapping at the cr… what?


She cocked her head in her phone's direction, ideas slowly taking more and more space in her mind, crowding her thoughts and creating small bursts of static when a pair melded to make something different.


Her gaze slowly slid from her phone to her computer – she couldn't do much with the phone; too small and too underpowered to create a drone design.


Everything seemed to revolve around things that made other things. Or something like that. The majority of the ideas she had were iterations and variations of various types of machine or program that made by themselves smaller programs or machines, from the size of her closed fist to ones as big as a car. There was something farther beyond, but it felt like sand slipping away from her mental fingers.


Sarah sat on the soft padding of her chair, turned on her computer and started… doing nothing. Because the thing couldn't support the idea she had. The coding tool to even begin didn't exist yet, so she had to punch down her irritation and make do with what she found on the net at the moment. She had to take into account the specifics of her own computer too as she didn't want to fry it to hell and back, at least not before she found Taylor.


Because she would find her. She would. She had to.


Otherwise, what would even be the point of getting powers?


She spent the next five hours cobbling together a program that would create and execute its little subprograms at her behest. She could directly control the 'Leader' of her small digital swarm, but it had little use aside from acting as a hub for recollected information and giving/querying for new directives. What she couldn't control were the little subprograms that actually did the job.


Oh, yes, she could give the order to the Hive to designate a directive or mark something as a priority or something to avoid or a dozen other little markers – none of them too specific, mind you;that would fry everything – which would tell the 'workers', or 'scouts' in this case, given that the sub-programs that her digital Hive was currently spawning were ones geared towards retrieval of data, that something needed doing.


What would she say to Taylor about her power? 'I make things that make other things'? That seemed a bit lame.


She still was too nervous, too jittery to truly stop and think, but she didn't care. This was only another tool in her hands; a tool more versatile than most if not any, true, but a tool nonetheless and one that would help her find her friend or else.


When had she started pacing, she didn't know. What she did know was that her computer had just pinged her phone about the keyphrase – Taylor Hebert – she had inputted in the search directive of the 'Hive' – she still didn't like that name.


She began to read, and excitement along with dread gave way to confused happiness.


"Taylor Anne Hebert: admitted to Brockton General Hospital the 18th of November at 22:43 P.M."


What? How!?


She had already called the Hospital and they knew nothing about Taylor! No new admittances, no new cases of anything, nothing at all!


She kept reading. There was something that stunk here and she was going to rip it open, whatever the cost.


"Cause of admittance: sudden fainting spell followed by a coma of unknown cause."


Her blood turned into ice, dread clawing her heart out and shoving it down her throat again. Taylor was in a coma? Why!?


Sarah's breath turned frantic, her mind whirling with every bad possibility and scenario, plausible and implausible both. When she came down from her panic attack she was clutching their hoodie once more, shivering beneath her blankets.


She needed another half an hour before she could bring herself to sit at her chair once more, her already exhausted mind starting to fray at the edges. She kept reading anyway.


Beneath that she had another tidbit of info that her little workers discovered deeper than anything else that turned the ice inside her into a raging volcano of pure, molten hatred.


"PRT Notes: Possible cause: trigger event. Confirmed due to CAT scan. Father refused to give a statement. Possible cause of triggering? Could be convinced of his incapability of taking care of a parahuman daughter with more coaxing but is still holding onto guardianship. Low priority."


Sarah seethed, a hateful hiss sliding between tightly clenched teeth. She ignored the possibility of Danny being involved in the triggering of Taylor, pushing away the idea about a drone specialized in creating stealth kill squads that took way too much time and exotic materials. She didn't need petty revenge at the moment, she needed money, materials, some time for herself and a ticket to Brockton Bay.


— X —​


Afternoon, Boston.


Sarah would never admit to anyone – perhaps to Taylor – that when she got out of her house, a heavy backpack slung over her shoulders, that she had had absolutely no idea where she could get materials for the Scout Hive that she had in mind. Just a little drone slightly more than her closed fist that made other small drones that fit in one's palm, maybe equipped with some kind of very small scale laser plus a camera for extra Big Sister effect.



The problem was that she had exactly zero of the tools needed to accomplish something like that. She would need to build, what, three iterations of drones whose only purpose was to build little helpers that aided her in building more advanced hives of tool-drones? Something like that, and she couldn't accept it. She hadn't wanted to set foot in Brockton Bay completely unarmed, but…


Her eyes slid over an alley with a dilapidated electronics shop that completely fit the phrase 'hole in the wall', and she thought that maybe, she wouldn't have to go completely unarmed. Could she…? Yes, a drone with a taser that she just happened to leave unfinished was on the table.


She crossed the street and opened the door, her power immediately latching onto the quality of the materials present as well as what she could do with it. She pushed it all away and approached the counter, a hispanic teen with shoulder length hair on a ponytail – seventeen to eighteen, she'd wager – took off his eyes off his phone and gave her a single searching look, and not apparently finding what he was looking for, he got back to his own business while he spoke to her without looking up, his tone of voice the bored drawl of someone that very much did not want to be there. "Everything has its own price tag. Non negotiable. You don't like it, you can piss off."


She didn't mind it. If she was being honest, the blunt honesty reminded her of Taylor before fucking Emma.


Great, now she was pissed off again, her mind whirling around the shop and thinking about all the wonderful things she could do with all of these materials before she could stop herself. Sarah took a deep breath and started rummaging around the 'for parts' section of the shop, coming back to the counter primarily with various broken phones and other random tidbits she could use. Maybe. With time.


She hoped.


The worst thing was that on top of not being able to purchase everything she wanted right now, she had had to stop herself from thrashing everything in the moment and start rummaging and building and-stop.


The teen behind the counter gave her haul a single, unimpressed glance, then one more look at her with a raised eyebrow. She met his gaze, and after a few seconds he rattled off the price of everything, Sarah already with the cash in hand.


"Come back whenever," he said in a voice that screamed 'or don't. I don't care'. Weirdo. Still, she had made progress. Not much progress, by any means, but at least now she could actually build something to defend herself.


The way home was short and plagued with nervous energy. She wanted to get there quickly and start tinkering the most basic weapon she could craft, then make a beeline straight towards Brockton Bay. Towards Taylor.


She expected an empty house, a cup of her strongest coffee and a working gun slash weapon slash something in her hand by the end of the day when she reached the house. What she didn't expect were her parents staring in blank disbelief at the disassembled microwave, coffee machine and TV that she had attempted to turn into one of her 'Hive' drones – that name still didn't fit in her mind – whose guts were now merrily sitting in the coffee table smack dab in the middle of the living room.


Fuck. She didn't have time for this, at all.


Her father looked at the assortment of cables and the start of a casing for a drone, less than half formed and nothing else than pure scrap at the moment, then his eye gained a glint she recognized quite easily after living with him for the entirety of her life and Sarah tensed, flight or fight kicking in. It was a glint that spoke of opportunity, of hunger.


"I think," he began with a slow drawl, the way his eyes locked onto hers giving Sarah shivers, as if he didn't see a person or living being, just a stepping stone. "That you'd fit quite well with the War—"


She didn't let him finish. Sarah turned tail and booked it, slamming the door to the street wide open and then leaving that as it were, starting to run away towards the bus station, her legs pumping as fast and hard as she could, the sounds of the city suddenly magnified to a roaring cacophony that had her flinching at every sudden someone she crossed on a corner or every loud noise near her that popped out of nowhere, be it the screech of a tire or just two people laughing.


She swore that she could hear her parents behind her nipping at her heels, hands full of golden chains and poisoned promises. She didn't want that, she didn't want anything they or the Protectorate could offer, be it money or opportunities or anything else.


She just wanted Taylor.


In the end, there were no Government thugs, no parents chaining her to said government, and no one that stopped her from buying her ticket with some of the money she had had the forethought of getting out of her bank account before going home. No one stopped her from collapsing in her seat and dissolving into a puddle of stress, frayed nerves and an edge of mania that she was sure wasn't healthy for her or anyone nearby. A sudden laugh threatened to bubble up from her chest, tears prickling at the edge of her eyes. Brockton Bay, here she went.


At least I still have our hoodie.


— O —​


11-21-09, Mon.

Late afternoon, the Bay.



Sarah shuffled into the cheap hotel room she got near Brockton General, a quaint little thing that cost more than it should given its size. It wasn't exactly cheap, but she could afford it until she scouted around town and made sense of how much of a shithole she had jumped into feet first and without taking a breath beforehand. Which, if Taylor's past descriptions were anything to go by, the answer was probably ranging between the marvelous metrics of 'this sucks' and 'I'm completely fucked'.


Scion, she was tired.


That she had needed to stretch what she could do and change her phone's coding in a way that made all calls directed to her get deviated to the other side of the city hadn't helped her mental exhaustion. She absolutely did not want to wake up with her phone screaming in her ear.


Sarah stumbled around the cold floor in the general direction of the unimpressive, plain bed that was nothing like the one that was in her room back in Boston.

She looked at the backpack that had slid off her shoulders in her carelessness, full of juicy electronics that she could turn into her own armada of little spies or homicidal murderbots with enough time and more materials, then she turned around and collapsed in the bed.


Only psychopaths refused sleep. She had all day tomorrow to tinker up something, but for now, Morpheus was calling.


She was out like a light before she could blink twice.


— X —​


11-21-09, Tue.

Late afternoon, the Bay. Hotel near B. General.



Sarah woke up with a groan, her back, neck and somehow, legs, aching. The bed had been stone cold the entire night, the bedsheets were thin and she didn't have any kind of coffee nearby. In summary, she was pissed, tired, and nursing a budding headache.


Marvelous, just the thing she needed following the absolute clusterfuck that had been yesterday, with all its highs – finding that Taylor was ali-okay – and all its lows, which were, basically, everything.


She wanted breakfast. She really, really wanted a cup of scalding hot black gold and something to munch on while the caffeine ravaged her brain, but once again, this was the Bay, and she didn't trust anyone here as far as Eidolon could throw them through a portal.


Her eyes slid off the ceiling and she cut off her internal whining. She once again set her gaze on the bag full of broken phones and other bits and bobs and got up with a grunt, promptly grabbing the offending bag and digging into its guts and assembling what she had at the foot of the bed, where the sheets weren't as disturbed by her fitful rest.


Five phones of medium-low value, a pair of slightly mangled flashlights, and an almost completely broken digital camera. That one had doubled the value of the purchase, alone. Even if she still had quite a lot of money saved up and safely secured in her backpack – thank you, Past Sarah, for not trusting in our parents. Or the Bank – the memory still made her wince slightly. As much as she wanted it to be, her money wasn't infinite.


Could she…? Yes, yes she could. If she just started creating a Hive drone that just happened to have a taser strapped to it, and she started at said weapon but didn't continue her creation, she now had a perfectly functional non-lethal weapon – and no, she hadn't tried to rip off the lightbulb with cord included because she had gotten distracted by the idea of a drone that interfaced with other technology vi–shut up brain! Now she just needed to add a button from one of the flashlights and… done.


She looked at her phone, noticing that that little bit of cleverness had taken her a good hour and a half. Then she scanned the rest of her materials, trying to come up with something else and failing spectacularly. She simply had no materials to speak of. Maybe she could create a very basic Hive that made workers with special tools that–ARGH!


Sarah slammed the palm of her hands into her forehead, a growl of frustration building up in the back of her throat. The need to build something and the distracting thoughts were reaching a frankly annoying level and she didn't know how much time she could hold on before she ripped apart the next thing she laid eyes on, but she hoped that she could hold it together for a while more.


She sighed and got up from the bed, intent on getting something hot to drink.


And then, a long overdue visit to the hospital.


— X —​

The Bay. Near B.General, late afternoon.


Sarah was busy digging her metaphorical mittens inside her phone's system, trying to make something better suited to her needs than the frankly uninteresting piece of tech currently in her hand. After all, a lot of its actual value was emotional from all the time she had spent with the screen glued to her face, be it researching stupid things with Taylor, or discussing books with Taylor, or – yeah. Taylor. In general.


God, how far was that stupid hospital? She had selected the hotel bas–


Sarah's thought processes promptly crashed, caught fire and were summarily executed out of existence the moment she read the next line of code.


//CO_OWNER; QUEEN_ADMINISTRATOR


What the fuck did that even mean!? Who was that!?


Sarah tried in the middle of the street to frantically close what appeared to be a perfect backdoor into her phone and none of it worked. Someone had access to her phone, her things, her conversations, her notes on her own schematics and she could do nothing to fix it. She was starting to panic, her vision closing in around the edges and breath coming in ragged, strangled gasps. She fumbled around the edges of the device, finding what she was looking for after a moment of panicked flailing, and forcing a hard shutdown.


She didn't know exactly when she had gotten to the outskirts of the hospital, nor when she had taken a seat at one of the outdoor little tables, she just knew that she had found somewhere where she could sit down and shut down in peace, her mind a whirlwind of ideas brought up and discarded as quickly as they came. She couldn't do anything at all about that backdoor, so she pushed it out of her mind as much as it freaked her out. Later… later she'd find a solution, maybe. First came Taylor.


When she came down with her second panic attack in as many days – was this a trend? Because she didn't want it to be, not at all – she noticed that the sun had moved a tiny bit, now around three quarters down the horizon.


Sarah got up in shaky legs but firm steps, a goal solidly placed in her mind. She needed to see Taylor, to see with her own eyes that she was ali-okay, to cup her cheek and hear her breathing. She needed reassurance, the knowledge that she could reach out and know that she was there, that she wasn't, somehow, hallucinating.


Sarah reached the reception desk and cleared her throat, the eyes of the nurse attending it softening ever so slightly when she took in the distress that showed in her face, as much as she tried to suppress it.


"I- I am here to visit a patient, Taylor Hebert. I," no, no. Stupid Sarah don't say that you know her room, that's a good way to fuck up massively.


The nurse looked at the computer, her lips pressing and a frown forming in her face and deepening with each second. It made Sarah fidget and want to rip open the screen and-stop.


"And your name was, dear?" She asked with a sort of terseness in her voice.


This… didn't bode well.


"I'm…" she thought for a moment about using a fake name, but she backed off. Nothing good could come out of it, not now. "Sarah. Sarah Livsey. I'm her best friend and I got here from Boston as soon as I knew something was wrong, she's like – she's very important to me and-" she shut up, noticing that she had started rambling, the tightness in her chest just a tad bit more accentuated than before. She wanted to see her now.


The nurse looked once more at the monitor, her face turning slightly stony before speaking, and Sarah's heart sank into the bottom of her feet. "I'm afraid that you can't…" then something chimed on her computer, the ping barely audible over the crowd, but Sarah heard it anyway. The nurse – Alice, read her tag – looked at her screen and her face gave way from coldness to utter confusion, the shift so fast that it gave Sarah whiplash and just a tiny bit of hope. "Uhm," she seemed out of her element, but continued speaking nonetheless, if reluctantly. "Room 214."


Alice made a vague motion with her hand towards the elevators, but Sarah had already taken off before she could even lift her hand, the nurse's weird attitude out of her mind in favour of getting to her most valued person in this shithole of a world as fast as possible. She reached the one that was currently empty, pressing the second button and waiting, leaving as fast as she could without being rude.



204, 206, 208… 212, 214, there!


She stopped just in front of the door, her hand outstretched and an inch away from the doorknob, paralyzed. What if she was really hurt? What if she woke up and didn't recognize her? What if, what if, what if. They had her suddenly constricted in coiled hesitation, each and every doubt she had had in the past attacking her with a vengeance and locking up her every thought.


She bit her own lip as hard as she could, drawing a bit of blood and snapping her back into the moment, where she could take a moment to center herself, and if not banish, push down and into a corner her doubts and general stupidity. She wanted to see Taylor, and that was exactly what she was going to do. Fuck everything else.


She opened the door and Sarah's breath catched on her throat. She looked so… peaceful. Like a sleeping beauty, a curtain of ebony hair splayed beneath her, her breathing soft and smooth, the beep-beep of the heart rate monitor making a bit of background noise that managed to drown out whatever noise came from outside the window.


Sarah approached with careful steps, as if afraid of waking her up suddenly, as ridiculous as the thought was. Before she knew it, she was at Taylor's side with one hand reaching hesitantly towards her face, only stopping a fraction of an inch before she made skin contact, and then plowing through her doubts and self hatred, finally touching her skin and feeling the familiar warmth. Tears started to come to her eyes.


She was okay.


She was alive.


She was real.


Sarah cried the day away holding Taylor's hand.


— O —​


She did the same thing the next day, standing by her side all the hours she could, doing her best to be with Taylor and make her company even if she couldn't acknowledge it. Sarah was sure that she would appreciate it.


The next day, she started looking for a cheaper hotel and a temporary job while she was at it, obtaining a tentative interview scheduled in a couple of days at a bakery near the hospital.


The next one, November 24th of the year 2009, the Endbringers sirens blared loudly into the world…


…and the Simurgh made her accursed landfall in Boston.
 
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