Herbs and Spices (Worm Altpower)

[We Just Write]

A/N: Taylor's powers are heavily inspired by the game Potion Craft, with quite a bit of what she can do being taken directly from that game.

---

In the wake of a tragedy, a mote of power and memories floated through the void. The man it had come from had been an alchemist of much renown, even learning how to stop his own aging. Then one day he had taken an apprentice. An apprentice who hadn't known any better, and had brewed a very powerful exploding potion without realizing what it was. The alchemy shop was reduced to rubble instantly, both alchemist and apprentice perishing in the blast.

Eventually, this mote drifted close to another world. And it found a soul that resonated with it, crying out in grief and anguish that was very similar to something from the oldest memories the mote held. Gradually, the mote drifted closer, until eventually... impact.

---

I wasn't under arrest. I was just... riding in the back of a PRT van, towards their headquarters. After inadvertently traumatizing everyone at my mom's wake, myself (and her) included. I just... I wanted mom back so badly. Then suddenly I'd gotten all these ideas, and known I could bring her back; all it would take was a cooking project and some attention to detail, though the ingredients I'd had to work with were substandard.

I should have known it was too good to be true. The now-fading memories had clearly labeled what I was making as a potion of necromancy, rather than a potion of resurrection. As it turned out, there was a very good reason for that. What I'd done to mom... it couldn't be called life. Not when she was in absolute agony the whole time. The only "relief" was that she'd only had to suffer through that for about fifteen minutes, before the weak potion I'd sprinkled over her corpse ran out.

After a couple minutes of moping as the van bumped along, one of the PRT agents (Badge Number 609) tried talking to me. I didn't quite hear what he said the first time, but it was enough to get me to look up at him.

"Er, I didn't hear what you said?"

"I said it's not the end of the world. Things will get better, I promise."

I blinked.

"Are you sure about that? It seems like the Bay gets worse every year, and I completely ruined the wake..."

"Positive."

After mulling it over for a couple minutes, he made at least a bit of sense. While there was still a lot to learn about how my power worked, I was pretty sure I could make some truly amazing things. And if I could bring someone back wrong, then maybe I could learn how to bring someone back right, with enough practice.

Eventually, the van bumped to a stop. It was time to get out. Nodding, I got up and trudged along, following the PRT agent who'd talked to me. Eventually we arrived at what was pretty clearly an interrogation room, though they'd hurried to swap out the furniture for something more comfortable and dragged a potted plant in from somewhere. A woman wearing a PRT uniform was waiting for me; her name tag read Reese.

"Taylor Hebert, would you please sit down?"

I nodded, and sat.

"Before we start, I want to preface that you're not in trouble. As far as we can tell you didn't hurt anyone-"

"I hurt my mom... I'm still beating myself up over it."

Reese noted that down.

"Do you want to tell me everything that happened?"

Tears in my eyes, I made sure to recount every single detail. From the exact ingredients I'd grabbed off the kitchen shelves, to getting picked up by the van earlier.

When I finished, I finally noticed that Reese had gotten some cookies out for me. As I ate, Reese waited politely. Then she asked me a question,

"So, where do you want to go from here?"

I thought for a moment.

"Definitely not the Merchants. I wouldn't mind joining the Wards to help you out... but when I think of going out for public appearances or patrolling, I'm scared out of my mind. I'd much rather spend all day cooped up in a lab making useful stuff for people. Well, maybe not all day. But I'd much rather be making potions than going out and getting in fights or talking to crowds."

Reese thought for a bit.

"I'll need to talk to the higher ups a bit, and your father will need to sign off on you joining at all... But some accommodations can probably be made in that department. Are you alright with waiting here for a bit?"

I nodded "Ok, but I want a book to read and some more cookies."

"That's easily done."

True to Reese's word, I was quickly provided with a copy of The Hobbit, along with a box of Oreos. According to the clock on the wall, I sat and waited for about an hour before Reese came back, along with my father.

I looked up from the book. "Will I have to go out and fight people?"

Reese answered,

"No; the requirement for you to go on patrols has been waived. That said, you'll still have console duty on occasion, and the occasional PR appearance. That said, the paperwork is all done; you just have to sign a few things and you'll be in."

I looked to dad, he knew a lot more about this sort of thing than I did.

"It's an ok contract to sign, right?"

"It was... hard. But I read it thoroughly enough to tell there's no traps."

I nodded,

"Pen, please."

I signed my name on four separate forms, and then it was done. I was in the Wards.

---

The next day, I was brought back to the PRT HQ for my introductory appointment with Public Relations. The man who'd be heading up my branding went by Alex Pike.

"Right, so today we'll be settling your cape name and getting some basic ideas for your costume. The public is going to find out about you eventually, and it would be better for everyone if you came off as approachable."

A single horrific image flashed through my mind, before being immediately suppressed.

"Please don't put me in a miniskirt."

"Not in a million years; approachable doesn't necessarily mean cute. It could also mean looking cool, or simply looking like a normal working professional."

I thought for a moment.

"Can we please go more towards the professional angle? I'm not going to be going out and getting in fights, and... I'm honestly scared that if I go cute it'll lead to some creep trying to-"

"Taylor, breathe. Whatever you thought would happen to you, it won't happen on our watch. Maybe we should change topic to your cape name instead?"

"Ok."

"So, the fundamental question is if you want your name to be related to your power or not. Power-related names can be convenient for getting what you do across, but going too specific with them can lead to problems."

I blinked, trying to figure out how that could possibly happen. It giving villains hints about weaknesses didn't really make sense.

"Sometimes, the issues are mostly due to people being unable to take you seriously. If your name is a pun based on your power, it can really undermine efforts to tell people important information or take command in a crisis."

I blinked.

"Then how did Clockblocker get his name approved?"

"He didn't; he blurted it out at his debut before anyone could say his official name. It stuck."

I thought for a moment.

"Maybe a name based on one of the tools I'm going to be using? Like a stirring spoon or a burner."

Alex remarked,

"While that sounds like a good idea, naming you Cauldron is off the table. There's far too many conspiracy theories about an organization with that name, and we don't want the crazies thinking you're involved. Why don't you describe what your general process is?"

I nodded.

"So, broadly I take ingredients, grind them up, put them in the potion, stir an extremely precise amount, then eventually bring it to a boil for a few seconds once the... thingy is at the right spot. I also add more water or oil or whatever the solvent is sometimes. It's complicated and the words for it don't really exist."

Alex scribbled some stuff in a notepad.

"So, that's selection, grinding, mixing, stirring, dilution, and heating. Stirring gets names like spoon or whisk. Grinding has grinder, mortar, pestle... For dilution I can think of pipettes and syringes."

I barely needed to think. "Pestle. It sounds... kind. I just... it seems like the best option."

Alex nodded,

"I was thinking the same thing."

---

Later that day, I was introduced to the rest of the Wards. I was wearing a generic domino mask at the moment, since my costume still hadn't been finalized.

"Everyone, this is Pestle. She's the newest member of the Wards, and she's a Tinker."

Vista looked me up and down. Eventually, she asked "So, what do you make?"

After a few seconds, I answered "I make potions. I'm not going to be doing any patrols; the idea of going out and getting in fights when I could be making stuff to help people in my lab is... it scares me."

Clockblocker remarked,

"Just don't take apart the fridge to make a fume hood, or whatever it is you chemists use."

I blinked.

"For the basic stuff I only need a cooking pot, some water, a hot plate, and a spice rack. I can see everything I'd need for some basic demonstrations at the kitchenette over there. Not sure I'm supposed to until my official lab gets set up, though."

I looked to Reese, who gave me a thumbs up. I promptly wandered over to the stove and set a saucepan full of water to simmer. Then I went to the spice rack, trying to figure out what ingredients I had available. Oregano... no, that was oriented Northeast. Didn't know what was that way yet. Black pepper? Pretty sure starting a fire wouldn't go over well. Ah, spearmint!

I promptly sprinkled in... rather a lot of spearmint leaves. They weren't a very potent ingredient, and I didn't have anything I could use to grind them up. That done, I stirred it up with a plastic spoon, stopping exactly when the potion reached the Frost point. Put the burner to maximum heat, and wait a few minutes.

Clockblocker couldn't help but remark,

"So? You've made mint tea. That's not very impressive."

Then the bubbles flashed, and the liquid in the saucepan turned blue. I promptly turned off the burner.

"Frost potion's done. Someone please get me a funnel and a spray bottle."

"Frost potion?"

Vista meanwhile brought over what I'd requested. I proceeded to load about half the potion into the spray bottle, turn the nozzle to mist, and spray the counter. Immediately, a thin layer of ice formed, and I could feel the overall temperature of the room drop slightly.

I turned to Clockblocker.

"Yeah, frost potion. Not the strongest I could have made, but I think it gets the point across nicely."

Clockblocker whistled appreciatively.

"Sorry for doubting you."

Vista meanwhile was grinning widely,

"Pestle, what else can you make?"

 

[YuffieK]

"Armsmaster, why did you call us into a meeting about a near empty bottle of Windex?" Mike Renick said.

"This is not glass cleaner, Directors. This is the 'frost potion' Pestle made in the Wards kitchenette yesterday. I've spent the last 14 hours testing it extensively."

"And your findings?" Emily growled out.

"Fundamentally impossible by our understanding of thermodynamics. When aerosolized, a single spray of this room temperature potion removes more thermal energy from the environment than a similar amount of liquid helium. A full bottle, properly dispersed, could suppress a wood fire covering approximately 25 square meters. This was made in ten minutes with less than five dollars worth of materials available at any large supermarket."

"We're aware of Pestle's potential considering the events regarding her mother's funeral. Are you suggesting that she poses an immediate threat to the Wards, Protectorate, PRT or the public in general?"

"I'm stating, for the record, that her Tinkertech is BULLSHIT."

 

[We Just Write]

It had only taken a couple days for the PRT to get a laboratory fully set up for my use. It helped that I really didn't need anything particularly complicated. So on Tuesday, I made my obligatory apology and promise to mom, then met up with the plainclothes PRT agent who would be taking me to my "internship".

I really wasn't surprised when Vista greeted me on entry.

"Hi Pestle! Any thoughts on what you'll be doing today?"

"Hi Vista. I'm going to be brewing up a selection of basic potions for testing purposes today; I figure the PRT will want to know exactly what they do before they start issuing them to field agents. Also I need to figure out more about what exactly I can make."

Vista nodded, a massive smile on her face.

"Good luck!"

So off into the lab I went. First up, the four basic potions I already knew about (aside from Necromancy), at the maximum potency I could manage. Fire, Frost, Poison, and Healing. I had them brewed up, bottled, and properly labeled within an hour, making damn sure to thoroughly clean my tools after making the poison.

Now for some more exploratory work. Fire, Frost, Poison, and Healing corresponded to West, East, Southwest, and Southeast respectively. This raised the question of what was to the South, Northwest, North, and Northeast. So I got to work on brewing them up; for safety I'd be brewing each of these at minimum potency, just in case they did something hazardous.

I opted for South first. Dried Shimeji mushrooms from the grocery store would bring my potion that way, and with the grinder I had readily available, that meant it wouldn't even take all that many. Add the ground mushrooms, stir the potion up until it just barely touched that point to the South, and apply the heat. The potion reached a boil quite quickly, and turned a deep rich brown. I got an impression of... force and stamina. Maybe a strength potion? I promptly labeled it as such, with a note of "requires animal testing".

North called for something very different. Looking through the ingredients I had available to me... the one most thoroughly aligned straight North was Cilantro. I'd be needing a few peppercorns to keep from drifting off-course, though. Grinding and adding the ingredients in a specific order, I promptly got to stirring. I almost lost the potion on a few occasions, but I managed to get to the North point. Bring the potion to a boil, and it turned white. It gave impressions of... speed and acceleration. Another bottle labeled for animal testing.

For Northeast, a combination of Cilantro and Mint did the job just fine. Then I noticed something odd; there were two effect points here, and in very close proximity. I just shrugged, and got on with making one of each. The first turned a dark blue, and gave me an impression of raw power, untapped and awaiting direction. Meanwhile, the second turned a rich purple; even without my weird intuition, the little sparks of electricity running across its surface would have clued me in that anyone drinking this stuff would get zapped. Both potions were bottled and labeled, though for the blue one I just wrote "Potential???", with a note that I really wasn't sure what it would do.

Lastly, Northwest. As it turned out, the ripe red Habaneros they'd gotten me were excellent for directing a potion this way, though I still needed rather a lot of them. I also needed the occasional bit of Cilantro to stay on track and out of the bones. Eventually, I reached the point and got to heating. Minimal alignment for effect, obviously. Suddenly, the potion turned red, and I felt an overwhelming need for caution: this was a highly explosive substance, and needed special handling.

...Yeah, no. I left the potion to cool in the pot, and called for the explosives disposal team. They arrived in only two minutes, and I explained the situation.

"The stuff in that pot could go bang if something happens to it. I don't want to risk bottling and storing that stuff, so could you please take it away for a controlled detonation somewhere? Don't jostle it too much and you should be fine, but I really don't want it in my lab."

The man in the bulky EOD suit in front replied, "Sure, there's a bomb range we can get it to without any trouble. Should be fine to set it off there, since you don't seem to have made very much."

It was true; I'd deliberately kept the batch size on these exploratory potions small for safety reasons. The explosives disposal crew carefully moved the pot I'd made the bomb in to a very sturdy rolly-cart, and took it away for safe disposal. I gathered up the rest of what I'd made in a bag, and pressed the call button for Tinkertech evaluation that the PRT had thoughtfully added to my laboratory.

"Hello, Pestle speaking! I've made a bunch of potions for testing, and they're ready for pickup."

"Got it, we'll be right down after lunch."

I blinked, then looked at the clock. Much to my startlement, it was in fact lunch time. Ah.

After a quick meal, I found myself sitting around in the Wards base with only Clockblocker and Triumph for company. After a bit, a conversation struck up.

Clockblocker asked,

"So Pestle, any thoughts on what you'll say at your public debut?"

"I haven't really thought about that, to be honest. Maybe something about making the cure to Brockton Bay's ills? No, that comes out wrong. And more than a bit supervillainy, now that I think about it."

Triumph remarked,

"Yeah. Best not to be too bland either; otherwise people will think you're boring."

That's when the doorbell for the Wards base rang. We all checked our masks, though we honestly needn't have bothered. As it turned out, it was a couple technicians here for Tinkertech evaluation.

---

The Fire, Frost, and Lightning potions were pretty straightforward to test. Just spray or splash a bit of them on a test target, and see what they did. Apparently, a maximum potency Fire potion behaved like some hellish mix of Thermite and Napalm, but with three times the energy density. Meanwhile, a shot glass full of the maximum-potency Frost potion could near-instantly freeze solid ten liters of water after said water had been brought to a boil.

The Lightning potion wasn't quite as dramatic on account of its minimal potency, but combining the energy density of Gasoline with the fact that it output said energy directly as electric current had all sorts of uses. As for the exploding potion? I was quite thoroughly correct in my decision to have the bomb squad deal with it; apparently my minimally potent explosion potion had properties comparable to liquid Nitroglycerine, though at least it wasn't quite as liable to explode without warning. Yeah, not making that stuff again unless I was explicitly ordered to; I liked having all my limbs and organs.

That left only Swiftness, Strength, Poison, and Healing. Also that mystery potion. Which would unfortunately require animal testing. I don't know where the PRT got the lab rats from, but I couldn't help feeling sorry for the little critters.

Swiftness and Strength were harmless enough; they temporarily enhanced the relevant physical attributes of the rodents to about twice normal; the duration seemed to scale with the dose. Interestingly, a dose of the mystery potion would extend the duration of the Swiftness or Strength potions.

It was when we got to the healing potion testing that I started having misgivings.

"Why are you about to stab that rat with a knife?"

The scientist (her name tag read Allison) quirked an eyebrow at me.

"You said this is a healing potion, right? We can't evaluate how well it works to heal injuries on an un-injured rat, now can we?"

I nodded reluctantly. That made sense, but I still had my misgivings. I really didn't want to watch as Allison stabbed the rat in its torso, but I forced myself to do it anyway. Fortunately, a relatively small dose of healing potion fully healed the stab wound without any scarring.

I only got about halfway through the list of horrible tortures they inflicted on those lab rats to evaluate the healing potion's effectiveness, before I had to excuse myself. In the hallway, I unexpectedly found myself standing in front of Director Piggot. I hurriedly snapped to attention and did a sloppy salute.

That actually managed to draw a faint chuckle from my boss.

"Relax, Pestle. You're not in the military."

"Sorry, it's just that I'm really stressed out from watching the animal testing of my healing potion, and it's got me on edge."

"I understand; the sight of blood isn't ever really a pretty one."

I shook my head.

"It's not that. It's just... I can't help but feel sorry for the rats. I know why it's necessary to thoroughly test what I make, but repeatedly injuring them and getting them sick just feels wrong. It's torture."

Piggot's expression was serious, but a bit warm.

"That just means you have a respect for life; that's a good thing, honestly. The world would be a much nicer place if everyone had that."

"May I go? I just... I can't be around what's happening in there any longer."

"You may."

Then something occurred to me.

"Ah, one other thing. Could I get a really big vat to make potions in for my lab? I'm primarily limited by the time it takes to work on a batch of potion, so if I can make really big batches, I'll be able to make more potions and help more people."

Piggot frowned slightly.

"I'll see what I can do in that department. We still need to make sure your creations are actually safe for use in humans."

Then she walked into the laboratory; apparently wanting to see the rest of the potion trials for herself.

---

Several hours later, I got the animal testing report on my Healing potion and Poison.

The Healing potion was apparently really great; not only did it regenerate physical injuries (including outright missing limbs and organs), but it could also supercharge the immune system to get rid of infections or cancer. On top of that, it could even flawlessly cure most auto-immune diseases. On the other hand, it didn't do anything to set broken bones prior to healing, remove foreign objects from the body, neutralize toxins, fix genetic diseases, or repair cellular aging. Really great and useful, but there were quite a few things it simply couldn't do.

As for the poison... what I read about its effects firmly set my resolve not to make any more of it unless it was really necessary. Not only was the lethal dose incredibly low, but once the symptoms kicked in? Everything indicated that the rats the poison was tested on were in agonizing pain right up to the moment all their organs finished shutting down. When injected, this started immediately. When ingested, there was an approximately three hour delay before the start of symptoms. In summary, it was a near perfect poison for a particularly sadistic assassin.

As I got ready to go home, I took a moment to check the calendar in my lab. Apparently, tomorrow was when my costume was going to be finalized. I honestly wondered what Alex Pike and the rest of the PR team had come up with for me.

...I really hope they listened when I said I didn't want a mini-skirt. If they hadn't, I might be tempted to see if a Strength potion would let me yell at them louder than normal.

 

[We Just Write]

The day after my first round of potion testing, I had another PR appointment with Alex Pike. I showed up on time and with my hair neatly brushed.

"Ah, good to see you, Pestle. We've got some costume ideas for you, and it would be nice to know which you like best."

As I sat down, I couldn't help but ask,

"No mini-skirts?"

"No mini-skirts at all. Promise."

Then Alex set down a folder on the table. "We haven't actually made any costumes yet, but we've got concept art for five of them. Take a look, and tell me what parts you like and what parts you don't."

I nodded, and opened up the folder. Sure enough, there were six reference sheets. One for each costume idea, and a sixth for possible emblems.

The first costume was labeled "Lab Brat", and... honestly I really didn't like it. There were scruffy shorts and a tank top, with heavy utility boots, long rubber gloves, and a pair of goggles that... honestly looked really uncomfortable, and like they'd restrict my view. The only part of it I actually liked was a bandoleer for potion vials, just because having those on hand could be really useful for all sorts of things.

The others were named "Sage", "Responsible Researcher", "Elegant Noblewoman", and "Splash Zone". None of them quite fit what I was looking for, but most of them had something I liked.

So I turned to Alex, and asked "Can I mix and match parts from different costume ideas, if I think none of them really fits?"

Alex shrugged,

"Sure?"

I started pointing things out.

"I really like the goggles and rain boots on Splash Zone, and the bandoleer of potion vials from Lab Brat is great. I also like the pants and gloves from Responsible Researcher."

Alex noted that down.

"What about your top?"

I nodded,

"Honestly, I was thinking of combining elements from the tops on Sage, Responsible Researcher, and Elegant Noblewoman. Basically a dress-shaped lab coat with a hood. Maybe have a few of them in different colors, but otherwise identical."

Alex finished noting that down, then started talking as he began sketching out the costume.

"So that's a hooded laboratory dress-coat, with rain boots, pastel blue rubber gloves, partially mirrored safety goggles for your mask, and a bandoleer for your potion vials? I like it. It balances out nicely between cute, practical, and professional. It also lets you carry quite a few potions around with you, in case you need them."

Then something occurred to me.

"Can I also have a holster for a squirt gun? I really don't want to go out and get into fights, but just in case I want to be able to defend myself."

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"A squirt gun? For anyone else that would just be a toy, but given your specialty that's really not the case. What exactly are you planning on loading it with?"

"For lethal? Maximum potency lightning potion with added freezing. For non-lethal? I might be able to make some kind of sedative."

Alex thought for a moment.

"I'll make allowances to add a holster later, but you'll be needing to pass a firearms course and get approval from the director before you get the squirt gun. Is that acceptable?"

I nodded emphatically. I was basically asking for a gun, and... honestly, that kind of scared me. I really hoped I never needed it, but considering the alternative was splashing a whole bottle's worth of an attack potion on someone... the squirt gun would be a much less destructive option.

Alex interrupted my musings by asking another question.

"So, that's your costume settled, but what about your emblem?"

I immediately pointed to the one I liked the most: it was a simple graphic of a cutaway mortar and pestle, the pestle held vertically without touching the mortar.

Alex nodded. "Great choice. Anyway, it's time for your measurements."

---

When I got out of my appointment with Alex, I found that Clockblocker was waiting for me in the Wards base.

"Pestle, can I ask you for a really big favor?"

I shrugged,

"Depends what it is?"

"It's my dad. He's got cancer. Really, REALLY bad cancer. I heard that in the animal testing, your healing potions could completely cure a rat with late-stage cancer, and I was hoping you could give me a dose for my dad."

I nodded.

"Easy, this shouldn't take long."

And so into my lab I went. To my delight, I discovered that Piggot had come through on the equipment I asked for! Not only did I have a really big vat that looked like it could do multiple cubic meters of potion per batch, but it was even hooked up to an automatic bottling and labeling machine. She'd even got a much bigger grinder for all the ingredients I'd be needing for each batch of potion. And ooh, those were pipes for rapid heating and cooling of the potion, with precise temperature control! This was awesome!

I promptly got started on making a full-size batch of maximum potency Healing potion; no reason not to make a whole lot of it all at once, it was sure to get used, and it would be a lot easier to slip one dose out of a few thousand than it would be to make just one for Clockblocker's dad specifically. Within twenty minutres, I'd got the potion batch made. I turned the bottling machine on, and watched it start filling and labeling 300 mL bottles of Healing Potion, Maximum Strength.

As soon as the first bottle was filled, I dashed out and handed it to Clockblocker. "Twelve doses of 25 mL, one each day. I'd give better than 90% odds of it curing your dad's cancer completely, and even if it doesn't, it'll help a lot."

"...Thank you Pestle, thank you so much!"

Then Clockblocker hugged me. As soon as he let go, I told him

"Clock, get started on smuggling that bottle out of here. Fairly confident you're not supposed to have it, and I don't want to get you in trouble when I call people down here to start bringing the healing potion up to storage."

He nodded, and quickly stuffed the bottle into his backpack before starting his "Going home for the day" routine. That done, I went to the call button.

"Hello, this is Pestle speaking. I've made a really big batch of Healing Potion, and the automatic bottling machine is working great. Can some people with appropriate stuff-hauling equipment come down here and get it?"

"Sure, we'll have a couple men down with a cart soon. Though come to think of it, maybe you should have a second lab upstairs for when you're making really big batches intended for inventory? That way, we don't have to keep barging in on you kids."

I blinked, then replied.

"You know, that's actually a really good idea."

"I'll talk to the Director about it. She's a practical woman, so it'll probably get approved."

I didn't get much more potion-making done today, just on account of all the people stomping around being very distracting. I did manage a couple test potions of Sleep and Dexterity when I explored to the East, but I wound up absolutely flubbing it when I tried anything more complicated.

Not having anything better to do, I opted to find a chemistry book and see if there was anything applicable to my Tinkering. I quickly determined that potion-making had almost nothing to do with actual chemistry, but what I read on solvents did spark some interesting thoughts. So far, I'd only been making water-based potions. But maybe I could work with other liquids? For some reason, vegetable oil really stuck in my mind, as did alcohol. Something to look into another day, though I'd better write it down so I don't forget.

---

The very next day, I was summoned to Piggot's office for a Talk.

"Pestle, sit down."

I promptly did so in the chair indicated. It was a hard seat, but not really uncomfortable.

"While I can't blame you for wanting to help a friend, providing that healing potion to Clockblocker has caused some major issues. The press found out about his father's miraculous recovery near-instantly, and the many questions they asked made protecting Clockblocker's identity a whole lot harder than it really needed to be. If you'd just told us first we could have come up with something, but now we're in damage control mode on account of your actions."

I nodded solemnly.

"...Ok, I fucked up. Wouldn't be the first time one of my potions caused more problems than it solved. I'll take whatever punishment you have in mind."

Piggot grinned evilly,

"While normally I'd discipline a Tinker by cutting their allowed Tinkering time, with you I'd just be shooting myself in the foot. So I came up with an appropriate alternative. Congratulations, we're having to accelerate your official debut to as soon as your full costume is ready. Also, I'll be putting you on a mandatory fitness regimen that would make a firefighter proud, along with that firearms course you wanted. You wanted clearance to have a gun? You'll have to earn it like any one of my troopers."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I'm glad to see we have an understanding. Now report to the gym; Sergeant Joeseph is waiting for his latest trainee."

---

Thankfully, Sergeant Joeseph was... merciful wasn't the right word. But he was very firm on not wanting to hurt my progress through over-training, and he wasn't about to blow Healing potions on it. So I got discharged from physical training after only forty minutes. My everything was sore, and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and take a nap.

Unfortunately, I'd just been informed that the first version of my costume had been finished. So I took a swig from the bottle of Healing potion I'd... 'reserved' for my personal use, and made my way down to the PR offices.

Alex greeted me,

"Hello, Pestle. What do you think of the outfit?"

Staring at the pink lab cloak, I couldn't help but smile.

"It's wonderful. Just let me into the changing room, and I'll get it on."

"Go for it."

I promptly got changed into the outfit, the goggles fitting wonderfully. They didn't hinder my vision at all, and they apparently had some sort of coating to keep them from ever getting foggy. The gloves made a satisfying snap as I put them on, and the rain boots had the best arch support of any footgear I'd ever worn. I slung the bandoleer of vials on (mostly healing, though I did include what was left of my testing Fire and Frost potions, just in case), and stepped out of the changing room.

"So, how do I look?"

Alex smiled,

"You look marvelous. Now go take a bathroom break; you've got two hours to rehearse before the press conference, then we're headed out."

...Right, public speaking. Joy.

"One question, why did Piggot accelerate my debut so much?"

"If the news is talking about a story you really don't want them to, telling them to stop always backfires. Only thing that works is distracting them with a new story, so they forget about the old one. Congratulations, you're the new story."

...Oh.