(Why do these things always start in your sleep?)
You grouse and grumble as you roll yourself...
You grouse and grumble as you roll yourself...
Harry Potter and the Yadda Yadda (Crack)
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zero_traveler
Revolver Ocelot
- Location
- Revolver Ocelot
(Why do these things always start in your sleep?)
You grouse and grumble as you roll yourself over, unsuccessfully trying to go back to sleep. Instead, your hand flops over against a stone fireplace, and you yelp as the still hot stone lightly burns your palm. You jerk upright, holding your injured extremity, and blowing on it to try and relieve the slight pain.
Good thing the fire was mostly out, or you probably would have cooked yourself.
Looking around, you notice you are in a small, beaten shack. The room is barely warm enough to be habitable, and you can hear a storm pounding outside the four walls. The fireplace, such as it is, is probably the single most sturdy looking piece of construction in the small building, and that's not saying much.
Off to one side, what sounds like a small logging company grinds away. It's actually other sleeping people, on actual cots as opposed to your small mat far too near the fire.
The clock on the mantlepiece ticks to midnight.
Suddenly, the entirety of the small house shakes as something impacts the door.
[Wat do?]
[ ] Answer the door.
[ ] Uh, hello?! That could be a horrible monster outside! HIDE.
[ ] Wake Fatso, his Mini-me and the Whistler.
[ ] Wake up! "I'm awake, I'm awake!"
You grouse and grumble as you roll yourself over, unsuccessfully trying to go back to sleep. Instead, your hand flops over against a stone fireplace, and you yelp as the still hot stone lightly burns your palm. You jerk upright, holding your injured extremity, and blowing on it to try and relieve the slight pain.
Good thing the fire was mostly out, or you probably would have cooked yourself.
Looking around, you notice you are in a small, beaten shack. The room is barely warm enough to be habitable, and you can hear a storm pounding outside the four walls. The fireplace, such as it is, is probably the single most sturdy looking piece of construction in the small building, and that's not saying much.
Off to one side, what sounds like a small logging company grinds away. It's actually other sleeping people, on actual cots as opposed to your small mat far too near the fire.
The clock on the mantlepiece ticks to midnight.
Suddenly, the entirety of the small house shakes as something impacts the door.
[Wat do?]
[ ] Answer the door.
[ ] Uh, hello?! That could be a horrible monster outside! HIDE.
[ ] Wake Fatso, his Mini-me and the Whistler.
[ ] Wake up! "I'm awake, I'm awake!"
ToC and Rules
zero_traveler
Revolver Ocelot
- Location
- Revolver Ocelot
Table of Contents:
1: Awakening the First (Above)
Rules:
1: This is a Work of Crack: Any indications of "The SRS BZNS" (colloquially known as "serious business") are coincidental, or are being played up for maximum hilarity.
1a TL;DR: Silliness knob: it goes to 11. Which is 1 more.
2: Content Limitations: Silliness, insanity, and Wackiness are your watchwords. As in previous work, the sky is the limit. If you have a silly vote for a write in? Post it, It might just get in. That being said: I wish to restrict the Multiversal Flow to the HP-0001 (Harry Potter Prime) Verse. If it could exist in Harry Potter's World, it's fair game. Let's not get into tangents such as "Suddenly, Pokemon are real" or "Summon the Warp Gods from 40k!"
2a: TL;DR: Keep it in Genre.
3: Content Selection: As before, The established voting system is the default. However, I reserve the right to select any voting option I deem worthy (or silly enough.) And also to mish-mash options together to make it all more silly. This is to encourage a wider array of Write ins, rather than everyone picking a bandwagon and piling on it. That's not to say that voting is meaningless, as usually the option that wins the vote will be the one I use.
3a TL;DR: I, as QM have final say on what the winning vote is, even if it didn't happen to actually win. The Voltron option is always at my command.
1: Awakening the First (Above)
Rules:
1: This is a Work of Crack: Any indications of "The SRS BZNS" (colloquially known as "serious business") are coincidental, or are being played up for maximum hilarity.
1a TL;DR: Silliness knob: it goes to 11. Which is 1 more.
2: Content Limitations: Silliness, insanity, and Wackiness are your watchwords. As in previous work, the sky is the limit. If you have a silly vote for a write in? Post it, It might just get in. That being said: I wish to restrict the Multiversal Flow to the HP-0001 (Harry Potter Prime) Verse. If it could exist in Harry Potter's World, it's fair game. Let's not get into tangents such as "Suddenly, Pokemon are real" or "Summon the Warp Gods from 40k!"
2a: TL;DR: Keep it in Genre.
3: Content Selection: As before, The established voting system is the default. However, I reserve the right to select any voting option I deem worthy (or silly enough.) And also to mish-mash options together to make it all more silly. This is to encourage a wider array of Write ins, rather than everyone picking a bandwagon and piling on it. That's not to say that voting is meaningless, as usually the option that wins the vote will be the one I use.
3a TL;DR: I, as QM have final say on what the winning vote is, even if it didn't happen to actually win. The Voltron option is always at my command.
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zero_traveler
Revolver Ocelot
- Location
- Revolver Ocelot
In case you haven't guessed already:
You are currently <HARRY POTTER>
Your Currently Equipped Title is <BOY>
You are <11 Years> old (Just turned!)
Your Talents are:
<Magical?> Strange things happen around you. You are pretty sure you make them happen somehow.
<? ? ? ?> What's this then?
<Bitchin' Lightning Bolt Scar> Supposedly from the same drunken car crash that killed your mom and dad.
Your Flaws are:
<Nearsighted> You need your glasses to see properly.
<Mistreated> Your adoptive relatives don't treat you especially well.
<? ? ? ?>
You own:
Worn Glasses (Equipped to Face)
Worn Clothes (Equipped to Body)
Worn Shoes (Equipped to Feet)
Titles:
<BOY>
<YOU>
<BRAT>
You are currently <HARRY POTTER>
Your Currently Equipped Title is <BOY>
You are <11 Years> old (Just turned!)
Your Talents are:
<Magical?> Strange things happen around you. You are pretty sure you make them happen somehow.
<? ? ? ?> What's this then?
<Bitchin' Lightning Bolt Scar> Supposedly from the same drunken car crash that killed your mom and dad.
Your Flaws are:
<Nearsighted> You need your glasses to see properly.
<Mistreated> Your adoptive relatives don't treat you especially well.
<? ? ? ?>
You own:
Worn Glasses (Equipped to Face)
Worn Clothes (Equipped to Body)
Worn Shoes (Equipped to Feet)
Titles:
<BOY>
<YOU>
<BRAT>
Last edited:
InfiniteDaze
Too lazy to leave the house
- Location
- I wish I could stay
What is this I don't even...
zero_traveler
Revolver Ocelot
- Location
- Revolver Ocelot
Oh if you are bewildered already, you are in for a wild ride.
[X] Find a weapon. Between the dilapidated shack and (convenient) clock striking midnight, this is clearly a supernatural horror story and the protagonists of supernatural horror stories always have weapons.
-[X] Set fire to the weapon. Fire protects against a multitude of supernatural evils.
-[X] Set fire to the weapon. Fire protects against a multitude of supernatural evils.
notmi
Super Koala God Super Koala
[jk] Light yourself on fire. They can't get you if you're on fire.
zero_traveler
Revolver Ocelot
- Location
- Revolver Ocelot
Thinking about it, alternate harry potter that treats everything like a horror movie trope.
He's wrong genre savvy though, so he generally comes off as a paranoid psycho to other wizards.
Last edited:
JoshieWoshie
Mister Doge
[X] Wake Fatso, his Mini-me and the Whistler.
zero_traveler
Revolver Ocelot
- Location
- Revolver Ocelot
Vote tally:
##### 3.21
[X] Answer the door.
No. of votes: 4
veekie, Vanestus, Crazy7s1, Cyanios
[x] Uh, hello?! That could be a horrible monster outside! HIDE.
No. of votes: 1
modrony
[X] Wake Fatso, his Mini-me and the Whistler.
No. of votes: 2
notmi, JoshieWoshie
[X]AAAAHHHHHH-*
-[X]*CRACK*
--[X]Why is is it daytime? Why am I in the middle of a city? ...Is that the Statue of Liberty?
No. of votes: 1
beowolf
[X] Find a weapon. Between the dilapidated shack and (convenient) clock striking midnight, this is clearly a supernatural horror story and the protagonists of supernatural horror stories always have weapons.
-[X] Set fire to the weapon. Fire protects against a multitude of supernatural evils.
No. of votes: 1
silentspirals
##### 3.21
[X] Answer the door.
No. of votes: 4
veekie, Vanestus, Crazy7s1, Cyanios
[x] Uh, hello?! That could be a horrible monster outside! HIDE.
No. of votes: 1
modrony
[X] Wake Fatso, his Mini-me and the Whistler.
No. of votes: 2
notmi, JoshieWoshie
[X]AAAAHHHHHH-*
-[X]*CRACK*
--[X]Why is is it daytime? Why am I in the middle of a city? ...Is that the Statue of Liberty?
No. of votes: 1
beowolf
[X] Find a weapon. Between the dilapidated shack and (convenient) clock striking midnight, this is clearly a supernatural horror story and the protagonists of supernatural horror stories always have weapons.
-[X] Set fire to the weapon. Fire protects against a multitude of supernatural evils.
No. of votes: 1
silentspirals
zero_traveler
Revolver Ocelot
- Location
- Revolver Ocelot
[X] Answer the door.
You haul yourself up from your mat, dusting yourself off with your hands. Your burn is already fading from redness back to normal.
You take a moment to study yourself as you cross the floor, even as the house shudders under another thudding blow against the door. Your arms are kind of scrawny, similar to your legs, and you feel a bit thin and hungry, as though you hadn't had much to eat in the last day or so. You're not starving and bone thin of course, but you could definitely make good use of a sandwich right about now. At the least you are hale and whole, no missing fingers or toes, and your eyesight is a bit blurry, but you find a pair of round-lensed glasses clipped to the front of your shirt that solve that problem neatly.
As you approach the door cautiously, you can now hear a gruff, but somehow friendly sounding voice grumping to itself on the other side of the door. "Blasted Muggles. Answer yer blasted door already, or I'm like to knock it righ' off it's hinges, I will." Lower grumbling again, then, "Righ' Once more, and I'll knock no more. This door is opening one way'er ta other." You crack the door slightly and peer out to see a truly massive man on the other side, a great woolly and shaggy black beard hanging from his face and even more shaggy black from the hair on his head. He's got on a large, heavy looking coat that despite it's shabby appearance, doesn't appear to notice the heavy rains falling outside at all.
Oh, and he's rearing back a meaty fist to pound on the door again.
"Ex-excuse me, s-sir." you hurriedly say, "You are shaking the whole house!"
The large man freezes mid motion, and lowers his fist as he closely examines the slight crack of the opened door. "Oh, Sorry bout that. And who might you be, little 'un?"
"My name is Harry Potter, sir." You introduce yourself to the large man, "...and who might you be?"
"Harry Potter...? Could you open th' door so I can get a right look at you?"
You notice his expression is a bit bewildered. He doesn't seem a bad sort, though he IS rather large and imposing.
[ Choices Choices... ]
[ ] "Er, I'm not really supposed to open the door for...Strangers..."
[ ] Open the door
[ ] Wake Somebody "There's a very large man at the door."
-[ ] Uncle
-[ ] Aunt
-[ ] Dudley
[ ] Write-in
You haul yourself up from your mat, dusting yourself off with your hands. Your burn is already fading from redness back to normal.
You take a moment to study yourself as you cross the floor, even as the house shudders under another thudding blow against the door. Your arms are kind of scrawny, similar to your legs, and you feel a bit thin and hungry, as though you hadn't had much to eat in the last day or so. You're not starving and bone thin of course, but you could definitely make good use of a sandwich right about now. At the least you are hale and whole, no missing fingers or toes, and your eyesight is a bit blurry, but you find a pair of round-lensed glasses clipped to the front of your shirt that solve that problem neatly.
As you approach the door cautiously, you can now hear a gruff, but somehow friendly sounding voice grumping to itself on the other side of the door. "Blasted Muggles. Answer yer blasted door already, or I'm like to knock it righ' off it's hinges, I will." Lower grumbling again, then, "Righ' Once more, and I'll knock no more. This door is opening one way'er ta other." You crack the door slightly and peer out to see a truly massive man on the other side, a great woolly and shaggy black beard hanging from his face and even more shaggy black from the hair on his head. He's got on a large, heavy looking coat that despite it's shabby appearance, doesn't appear to notice the heavy rains falling outside at all.
Oh, and he's rearing back a meaty fist to pound on the door again.
"Ex-excuse me, s-sir." you hurriedly say, "You are shaking the whole house!"
The large man freezes mid motion, and lowers his fist as he closely examines the slight crack of the opened door. "Oh, Sorry bout that. And who might you be, little 'un?"
"My name is Harry Potter, sir." You introduce yourself to the large man, "...and who might you be?"
"Harry Potter...? Could you open th' door so I can get a right look at you?"
You notice his expression is a bit bewildered. He doesn't seem a bad sort, though he IS rather large and imposing.
[ Choices Choices... ]
[ ] "Er, I'm not really supposed to open the door for...Strangers..."
[ ] Open the door
[ ] Wake Somebody "There's a very large man at the door."
-[ ] Uncle
-[ ] Aunt
-[ ] Dudley
[ ] Write-in
[X] Open the door
CompassJimbo
Where’s Your North?
- Location
- The former Rubber Capital of the World
[x] Scream. "Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!"
[Q] Whip out your unholy electric guitar.
[Q] Whip out your unholy electric guitar.