The Number Man found himself working at the DAU instead of Cauldron. And he'll go to any lengths to protect his cushy, boring office job. Even if it takes dismantling an entire underground criminal empire.
Guns and Taxes
- Thread starter MiserumFortuna
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Monday
"-and that's why we should restart the ferry operation," Danny finished.
"Impressive, very nice. Now let's see the funding plan."
Kurt took the cue, pressed something on his laptop, and the slide on the projector changed.
The board looked at the screen for a moment, dead silent. They looked at each other. Then back at Danny. Mayor Christner went first. He made an open handed gesture, and his lips made a noise as they parted for him to speak.
Danny reached deep into the break room fridge. "God that guy's a prick," he said loudly.
"Agreed," said Kurt, who sat at the table closest to him, coffee and sandwich in hand.
"The ferry would be an 'unadvantageous endeavor'? Who the hell says that?" He cracked open a can of root beer and took a large gulp.
Kurt took a bite of his sandwich, chewed, swallowed. "A strange choice of words indeed."
"You see the others, the looks on their faces? Like they've been hand-trained to catch his turds, trying so hard to look all focused and ponderous."
"Working together to sell the lie."
Danny took a seat across from Kurt, pita wrap in his free hand. "Yup! Exactly! You know for a while there I almost thought I had them too, two-faced pig schmucks…
They both took a moment to enjoy their lunch.
"I did tell you it wouldn't go well," Kurt said, nursing his coffee.
"Ah, never miss a chance to say 'I told you so' huh?"
"Absolutely."
"At this rate we'll just have to wait till next election cycle, try asking again in 2 years."
"Oh yeah, for sure." He leaned back in his chair, slurped his coffee, rested one arm on the plastic back of his seat. "Cause the next guy will say 'yes.'"
"Well I don't see why not!"
"When it comes to urban decay and Brockton Bay, a ferry would be utterly impotent in solving it in a meaningful way."
Danny gave a strained smile. "Care to back that up?"
"Well, you're the one saying it'd be good, I'm saying it wouldn't be enough. You'd have to lay your cards out first."
"Okay. Connecting the north and south side of the Bay allows for a higher distribution of labor, so more jobs and money for poorer neighborhoods. And it's a pretty good tourist attraction."
Kurt took a few long seconds to finish a bite of his sandwich and sip his coffee. "Okay. First of all—"
And so they argued.
Who was Danny to argue, really? Kurt had the experience to know it. He was also their chief economist, accountant, risk assessment analyst, logistician, actuary, statistician, quantitative analyst…
He was extremely overqualified. He hadn't exactly planned to become so…well-rounded. He'd perform his role perfectly, then a manager would get ideas and hand him some of their own workload. He'd give them a death glare, and proceed to do it in half the time he did his own work out of spite. Sometimes they wouldn't notice, or ignore his clear annoyance and suddenly Kurt became the office pack mule for spreadsheets and graphs.
Though, it came with the benefit of being really high up in the financial decision making hierarchy.
But yet, somehow, the DAU was still slowly bleeding members and money.
Annoying. Kurt wasn't exactly attached to the job, he often found it wasn't worth it to stay in one place too long, but he wasn't exactly eager to return to the "contractual mercenary assassin" lifestyle.
Wanton murder wasn't very interesting, which was why he preferred "normal" office jobs like this one. Managing finances was deeply satisfying to him, like pressure washing a deck or finishing a puzzle.
If only he could've done it on a larger scale.
The rest of his lunch break passed unremarkably.
He gave Danny a curt nod as they walked their separate ways to their offices.
He saw Other Kurt fumbling with the keycard reader next to his office, which was across the hall from Kurt's.
He was friends with Danny, but Kurt hadn't bothered to get to know him too well. Though they shared the same name, but only looked vaguely similar, it had become a running office joke to "accidentally" confuse the two. He'd become aware of this when Other Kurt's wife Lacey handed him a giant stack of papers, watched him squirm a bit with the load, then "realize" that he wasn't "her" Kurt.
Annoying.
They were both blonde, clean shaven men and that was about it. Other Kurt was tall and buff, while Kurt was of average height and had more lean muscle, which many failed to notice apparently. He appeared a bookish middle-aged man, while Other Kurt was a hardened construction worker.
"Hey Kurt. My card doesn't seem to be working, you know what's up with that?" Other Kurt pressed his keycard against the reader. It beeped twice and flashed red.
He didn't seem to be doing it wrong, Kurt noted. "Ask management," he said flatly.
He pressed his own keycard against the reader to his office. It beeped twice and flashed red.
"Huh." said Kurt.
Danny's angry voice cut through the commotion. "What the hell is the matter with you people?"
The police had been called to remove all 'trespassers' from the building. In the span of one lunch break, about hundred dock workers were left jobless and the DAU had been dissolved. The only evidence of which was a crowd of about 5 dozen people gathered outside the building, and a single 8.5 x 11 page on the front door with less than a paragraph worth of words written in the 'Arial' font.
Danny had been the last one to be escorted off the premises. He'd caught a glimpse of the message and he was pissed. Unfortunately the closest things to acceptable targets for his anger were the two cops standing at the entrance.
"What are you, Pinkertons? We're supposed to get a 30 day warning for this kind of crap!" He gestured wildly as he yelled.
The female officer stepped forward. "Calm down sir. We've been told—"
"I don't give a damn what you've been told! This—this is illegal. You know how many Department of Labor standards you're violating right now?"
"Listen. The DAU doesn't own this building anymore and the company that does wants everyone out."
Danny laughed. "Oh—this—this is gold. Let me guess, the mayor wants us gone? Did he get sick and tired of someone making him actually improve the city instead of sitting on his ass all day?"
The male officer stepped forward and raised a hand. "You need to leave. Plain and simple."
"Tell you what—tell him if he wants us gone we'll go. But not without a fight. I am gonna sue the ever living shit out of you. Tell that fat eared fuck to lawyer up."
"Alright I'll tell him that," the officer said simply.
"You better cause I'm suing too!" a guy in the crowd yelled.
"You can't do this shit!" a woman yelled.
"They sent just two cops because they thought we wouldn't make a fuss."
"Bullshit. I'll show them."
It wasn't as much of a protest as it was angrily shouting and swearing for revenge. Law wasn't Kurt's speciality, but he had a feeling it wasn't gonna go anywhere.
A shame. He was starting to like being in charge.
Unless. He had an idea.
In the middle of the copy pasted blob at the bottom was a name. Fortress Construction.
Perhaps Harbinger wouldn't have to come out of retirement.
"Impressive, very nice. Now let's see the funding plan."
Kurt took the cue, pressed something on his laptop, and the slide on the projector changed.
The board looked at the screen for a moment, dead silent. They looked at each other. Then back at Danny. Mayor Christner went first. He made an open handed gesture, and his lips made a noise as they parted for him to speak.
Danny reached deep into the break room fridge. "God that guy's a prick," he said loudly.
"Agreed," said Kurt, who sat at the table closest to him, coffee and sandwich in hand.
"The ferry would be an 'unadvantageous endeavor'? Who the hell says that?" He cracked open a can of root beer and took a large gulp.
Kurt took a bite of his sandwich, chewed, swallowed. "A strange choice of words indeed."
"You see the others, the looks on their faces? Like they've been hand-trained to catch his turds, trying so hard to look all focused and ponderous."
"Working together to sell the lie."
Danny took a seat across from Kurt, pita wrap in his free hand. "Yup! Exactly! You know for a while there I almost thought I had them too, two-faced pig schmucks…
They both took a moment to enjoy their lunch.
"I did tell you it wouldn't go well," Kurt said, nursing his coffee.
"Ah, never miss a chance to say 'I told you so' huh?"
"Absolutely."
"At this rate we'll just have to wait till next election cycle, try asking again in 2 years."
"Oh yeah, for sure." He leaned back in his chair, slurped his coffee, rested one arm on the plastic back of his seat. "Cause the next guy will say 'yes.'"
"Well I don't see why not!"
"When it comes to urban decay and Brockton Bay, a ferry would be utterly impotent in solving it in a meaningful way."
Danny gave a strained smile. "Care to back that up?"
"Well, you're the one saying it'd be good, I'm saying it wouldn't be enough. You'd have to lay your cards out first."
"Okay. Connecting the north and south side of the Bay allows for a higher distribution of labor, so more jobs and money for poorer neighborhoods. And it's a pretty good tourist attraction."
Kurt took a few long seconds to finish a bite of his sandwich and sip his coffee. "Okay. First of all—"
And so they argued.
Who was Danny to argue, really? Kurt had the experience to know it. He was also their chief economist, accountant, risk assessment analyst, logistician, actuary, statistician, quantitative analyst…
He was extremely overqualified. He hadn't exactly planned to become so…well-rounded. He'd perform his role perfectly, then a manager would get ideas and hand him some of their own workload. He'd give them a death glare, and proceed to do it in half the time he did his own work out of spite. Sometimes they wouldn't notice, or ignore his clear annoyance and suddenly Kurt became the office pack mule for spreadsheets and graphs.
Though, it came with the benefit of being really high up in the financial decision making hierarchy.
But yet, somehow, the DAU was still slowly bleeding members and money.
Annoying. Kurt wasn't exactly attached to the job, he often found it wasn't worth it to stay in one place too long, but he wasn't exactly eager to return to the "contractual mercenary assassin" lifestyle.
Wanton murder wasn't very interesting, which was why he preferred "normal" office jobs like this one. Managing finances was deeply satisfying to him, like pressure washing a deck or finishing a puzzle.
If only he could've done it on a larger scale.
The rest of his lunch break passed unremarkably.
He gave Danny a curt nod as they walked their separate ways to their offices.
He saw Other Kurt fumbling with the keycard reader next to his office, which was across the hall from Kurt's.
He was friends with Danny, but Kurt hadn't bothered to get to know him too well. Though they shared the same name, but only looked vaguely similar, it had become a running office joke to "accidentally" confuse the two. He'd become aware of this when Other Kurt's wife Lacey handed him a giant stack of papers, watched him squirm a bit with the load, then "realize" that he wasn't "her" Kurt.
Annoying.
They were both blonde, clean shaven men and that was about it. Other Kurt was tall and buff, while Kurt was of average height and had more lean muscle, which many failed to notice apparently. He appeared a bookish middle-aged man, while Other Kurt was a hardened construction worker.
"Hey Kurt. My card doesn't seem to be working, you know what's up with that?" Other Kurt pressed his keycard against the reader. It beeped twice and flashed red.
He didn't seem to be doing it wrong, Kurt noted. "Ask management," he said flatly.
He pressed his own keycard against the reader to his office. It beeped twice and flashed red.
"Huh." said Kurt.
Danny's angry voice cut through the commotion. "What the hell is the matter with you people?"
The police had been called to remove all 'trespassers' from the building. In the span of one lunch break, about hundred dock workers were left jobless and the DAU had been dissolved. The only evidence of which was a crowd of about 5 dozen people gathered outside the building, and a single 8.5 x 11 page on the front door with less than a paragraph worth of words written in the 'Arial' font.
Danny had been the last one to be escorted off the premises. He'd caught a glimpse of the message and he was pissed. Unfortunately the closest things to acceptable targets for his anger were the two cops standing at the entrance.
"What are you, Pinkertons? We're supposed to get a 30 day warning for this kind of crap!" He gestured wildly as he yelled.
The female officer stepped forward. "Calm down sir. We've been told—"
"I don't give a damn what you've been told! This—this is illegal. You know how many Department of Labor standards you're violating right now?"
"Listen. The DAU doesn't own this building anymore and the company that does wants everyone out."
Danny laughed. "Oh—this—this is gold. Let me guess, the mayor wants us gone? Did he get sick and tired of someone making him actually improve the city instead of sitting on his ass all day?"
The male officer stepped forward and raised a hand. "You need to leave. Plain and simple."
"Tell you what—tell him if he wants us gone we'll go. But not without a fight. I am gonna sue the ever living shit out of you. Tell that fat eared fuck to lawyer up."
"Alright I'll tell him that," the officer said simply.
"You better cause I'm suing too!" a guy in the crowd yelled.
"You can't do this shit!" a woman yelled.
"They sent just two cops because they thought we wouldn't make a fuss."
"Bullshit. I'll show them."
It wasn't as much of a protest as it was angrily shouting and swearing for revenge. Law wasn't Kurt's speciality, but he had a feeling it wasn't gonna go anywhere.
A shame. He was starting to like being in charge.
Unless. He had an idea.
In the middle of the copy pasted blob at the bottom was a name. Fortress Construction.
Perhaps Harbinger wouldn't have to come out of retirement.