- Location
- Somewhere, Maybe
Someone watched "If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device"! ^.^
Goddamn Teenagers (Worm, AU/time travel)
Someone watched "If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device"! ^.^
FaerieKnight79
Verified Pixie
- Location
- The Internet
And now the question raises once again about why they never considered such basic accommodations for their staff.
Ace Dreamer
Verified Reality User
- Location
- Between The Unknown & The Known
Messes with the mystique of things?
(*cough* Wildbow/Tv Tropes *cough*)
EDIT:
[Wildbow] There you are, with an invisible genie servant, who is everywhere in your base, and reliably obeys orders. And, you want to give them the ability to answer back? Why??? [/Wildbow]
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Animal Adventures, Part 20 | Connections, Part 6
"Chekov?" Amy asked. "How did you even get in there?" The cat had somehow gotten into the cabinet under the counter, where he was wrapped around and behind the pots and such. It had taken Amy ten minutes to figure out were the meowing was coming from.
"Mreow?" Chekov replied adorably.
"Out. This is unsanitary. You don't want to be unsanitary, do you?"
Chekov rubbed against a casserole dish. "Mreow!"
"Out!"
"Mreow!"
Amy paused. "Is this my life now? I'm losing an argument with a cat."
"You're also talking to yourself," Mark's voice drifted from the next room.
Amy sighed. "You know what? You do you, Vicky can deal with this."
Amy shut the cabinet door.
Elsewhere
"Hey," Sarah's voice said. "I saw I missed a call?"
"Yeah," Carol said, tucking the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Vicky was asking about our insurance coverages."
"Our health insurance?"
"No. She has been on a fundraising kick. Someone told her that parahuman commercial liability insurance is important, so she wants to understand current policy."
"… I'll talk to her. Some of Crystal's comments make more sense now."
"Mreow?" Chekov replied adorably.
"Out. This is unsanitary. You don't want to be unsanitary, do you?"
Chekov rubbed against a casserole dish. "Mreow!"
"Out!"
"Mreow!"
Amy paused. "Is this my life now? I'm losing an argument with a cat."
"You're also talking to yourself," Mark's voice drifted from the next room.
Amy sighed. "You know what? You do you, Vicky can deal with this."
Amy shut the cabinet door.
Elsewhere
"Hey," Sarah's voice said. "I saw I missed a call?"
"Yeah," Carol said, tucking the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Vicky was asking about our insurance coverages."
"Our health insurance?"
"No. She has been on a fundraising kick. Someone told her that parahuman commercial liability insurance is important, so she wants to understand current policy."
"… I'll talk to her. Some of Crystal's comments make more sense now."
FaerieKnight79
Verified Pixie
- Location
- The Internet
Amy, you can't win an argument with a cat. It just doesn't happen.
Ace Dreamer
Verified Reality User
- Location
- Between The Unknown & The Known
You can, you just tend to regret it, later. Cats can be vindictive.
FaerieKnight79
Verified Pixie
- Location
- The Internet
Oh, no, not even physically picking up and moving a cat lets you win the argument. You just get clawed up, and they go right back to where they had wanted to be.
Ace Dreamer
Verified Reality User
- Location
- Between The Unknown & The Known
Hmm. Sound like you need to attend 'Cat Wrangling 301' class...
("How to pick-up a cat so you can't be clawed or bit? No, this isn't the 'scruff-of-the-neck' trick - that only works for mother cats on kittens. But, yeah, two hands and fast reflexes are required."
"Huh?"
"Also, this needs planning - you've got no free hands for opening doors or windows along the cat-is-exiting route.")
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Animal Adventures, Part 21 | Business Plan, Part 10
"Please do not go out and fight Nazis," Lisa said to Rachel. She was being good. She had worn subdued clothes. She wasn't smiling with teeth. She wasn't going to be a bitch. Short simple sentences. She could do this!
"They hurt dogs," Rachel replied confidently. "People too."
You could get hurt, Lisa didn't say. She already knew that Rachel valued the dogs more than herself.
Lisa tried a different approach. "The cops will be upset."
"Cops are stupid."
Well, yes, but I really wish Dr. Weaver hadn't got you saying that like a mantra. "Yes, but these cops are helping you. And your dogs."
Rachel shrugged. "I don't need them. Can take my pack and run."
Lisa forced herself to maintain a neutral expression. This was going to take a while.
Elsewhere
"More books for you," Taylor's father said, passing her the packages.
"Thanks!"
"More insect books?"
"Sort of," Taylor said as she opened the box. "I was encouraged to find more marketable bugs, so I'm researching bees and butterflies."
Note:
T: Oh, nice! Hornets!
"They hurt dogs," Rachel replied confidently. "People too."
You could get hurt, Lisa didn't say. She already knew that Rachel valued the dogs more than herself.
Lisa tried a different approach. "The cops will be upset."
"Cops are stupid."
Well, yes, but I really wish Dr. Weaver hadn't got you saying that like a mantra. "Yes, but these cops are helping you. And your dogs."
Rachel shrugged. "I don't need them. Can take my pack and run."
Lisa forced herself to maintain a neutral expression. This was going to take a while.
Elsewhere
"More books for you," Taylor's father said, passing her the packages.
"Thanks!"
"More insect books?"
"Sort of," Taylor said as she opened the box. "I was encouraged to find more marketable bugs, so I'm researching bees and butterflies."
Note:
T: Oh, nice! Hornets!
- Location
- Florida, USA
I will be very disappointed if the followup to this does not talk about some butterflies feeding on blood (for nutrients!) that they come across in the wild.
Ace Dreamer
Verified Reality User
- Location
- Between The Unknown & The Known
"Hmm. 'Vampire Butterflies'. Maybe, they could also inject KO drugs? Different wing patterns for different drugs? White wings with red cross for medic ones that put into a safe suspended animation state, for later healing? Amy..."
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tenmachi
We don't talk about the other nine
You can do eet, Lisa! I have faith in you!
RichardWhereat
Feanor did nothing wrong.
- Location
- Australia
You can, the trick is telling them to do what they want to do.
Snowball, Part 20
"What were you thinking?" Brad was in rare form.
"I told you I was bringing in additional support—" Krieg began.
"You hired fucking mercs for a false flag hit on Lung, and we'll come back to how that was a terrible idea, but you went through your idiot friends in Boston so they all got fucking caught!"
"What bothers me more," Max interrupted before Krieg could respond, "is the terrible operational security they evidenced while in-transit."
"I had nothing to do with that!" Krieg gestured toward Victor. "It was your cousin, what were they thinking."
"By marriage." Victor replied, tersely.
"Be that as it may," Max said, cutting off Krieg's response—the last thing they needed was a detailed explanation of multigenerational feuds among the idiot inbred clans—"there is a leak, again, in the vicinity of Boston, again. We need to consider that pipeline compromised until we can plug the leak."
Elsewhere
Coil looked from the headline back to Marquis. "If you didn't do it, and I didn't do it, then who did?"
Marquis shrugged. "Maybe the Boston office got lucky."
Elsewhere
"Well," Emily said, setting down the report, "score one for hill country infighting. My compliments to Maxwell and his CI spite grandma."
Note: Nazi friends dysfunctional office farce should not be this much fun to write.
Also, the WW2 realtime history series is currently in 1945. The level of dumb infighting, backstabbing, and general fuckery going on amongst the IRL Nazi leadership at the end is mind-blowing.
"I told you I was bringing in additional support—" Krieg began.
"You hired fucking mercs for a false flag hit on Lung, and we'll come back to how that was a terrible idea, but you went through your idiot friends in Boston so they all got fucking caught!"
"What bothers me more," Max interrupted before Krieg could respond, "is the terrible operational security they evidenced while in-transit."
"I had nothing to do with that!" Krieg gestured toward Victor. "It was your cousin, what were they thinking."
"By marriage." Victor replied, tersely.
"Be that as it may," Max said, cutting off Krieg's response—the last thing they needed was a detailed explanation of multigenerational feuds among the idiot inbred clans—"there is a leak, again, in the vicinity of Boston, again. We need to consider that pipeline compromised until we can plug the leak."
Elsewhere
Coil looked from the headline back to Marquis. "If you didn't do it, and I didn't do it, then who did?"
Marquis shrugged. "Maybe the Boston office got lucky."
Elsewhere
"Well," Emily said, setting down the report, "score one for hill country infighting. My compliments to Maxwell and his CI spite grandma."
Note: Nazi friends dysfunctional office farce should not be this much fun to write.
Also, the WW2 realtime history series is currently in 1945. The level of dumb infighting, backstabbing, and general fuckery going on amongst the IRL Nazi leadership at the end is mind-blowing.
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- Pronouns
- N/A
Formatting is broken.
Feuds, perhaps?
Fixed in the text—thanks!
tenmachi
We don't talk about the other nine
The true trick to dealing with cats is to cat right back at them.
Want to pay attention? Do so.
Want to not pay attention five seconds later? Stop!
Cat ignores you? That's fine, it didn't need attention then. Go do something else instead!
Cat chooses violence? Violence is a language, cat- have a conversation! Gently, mind you. In the same way that you have a larger spoken vocabulary than a cat, you also have so many more options if things get fighty, so be careful!
BethofDeath
Girls just wanna have pun
- Location
- Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
- Pronouns
- She/Her
For extra hilarity, keep in mind that these are the same groups which in the modern day mock the left for being fractured and infighting, while depicting themselves as a unified front.
For claiming they "preserve history and culture", they sure don't have a damn clue about it.
Cauldron was run by a pre-med student who, even confronted by a multiverse-level threat, decided, instead of looking for advice from other people, decided "Only I Can Fix It" and made sure that she was always the smartest person in any room she was in.
Ace Dreamer
Verified Reality User
- Location
- Between The Unknown & The Known
You just don't understand! History is critical to a proper view of the world! Real History, of course, not this fake stuff on socialist media, or in all these revisionist history books!
((
))Nazi philosophy is... strange. There are bits you are not (as a Nazi) allowed to talk about, even think about, if they get their way. Weird bits of 'romantic' mythology. Delusional beliefs in the sanctity of 'leadership' (The Leader). Refusal to doubt things which are... blatantly untrue.
Does result in them... nazi-ing certain things coming.
FaerieKnight79
Verified Pixie
- Location
- The Internet
Hell, the whole thing was started by a man who wasn't even part of the culture. Nor did he actually believe any of his retoric. Well, I suppose he might have towards the end come to believe his own propaganda.
Business Plan, Part 11 | Domestic Matters, Part 12
"Of course," Taylor's older counterpart said, "there are many different types of bees and wasps, especially when you include those only available from alternates. Different ones are better suited for different tasks, and of course there are seasonal and climate considerations as well…"
Taylor took notes furiously, as her father looked on with a warm smile.
Elsewhere
Brian shared a look with the plainclothes PRT officer masquerading as a 'social worker', then turned back to Aisha's assistant principal. "I assure you she isn't cheating. The reason her grades have improved so significantly is due to hard work and study, not cheating."
"Well of course you would say that," the assistant principal said in a dismissive tone. "Not that I don't appreciate your desire to protect your sister, what with your unconventional living situation. However, we really are looking out for Aisha's best interests, why, you people…"
Brian forced down his temper. Punching this smug, condescending, middle-class busy-body would be satisfying, but would not actually solve his problem.
Later
"So," Aisha said by way of greeting, "did you punch a bitch?"
Brian gave her a hug. "Almost."
Aisha squeezed him tight. "Thank you. For standing up for me. Mom never did that."
Note: I wonder how much of the US's memetic distrust of government is driven by its notoriously terrible structure of public school administration.
Taylor took notes furiously, as her father looked on with a warm smile.
Elsewhere
Brian shared a look with the plainclothes PRT officer masquerading as a 'social worker', then turned back to Aisha's assistant principal. "I assure you she isn't cheating. The reason her grades have improved so significantly is due to hard work and study, not cheating."
"Well of course you would say that," the assistant principal said in a dismissive tone. "Not that I don't appreciate your desire to protect your sister, what with your unconventional living situation. However, we really are looking out for Aisha's best interests, why, you people…"
Brian forced down his temper. Punching this smug, condescending, middle-class busy-body would be satisfying, but would not actually solve his problem.
Later
"So," Aisha said by way of greeting, "did you punch a bitch?"
Brian gave her a hug. "Almost."
Aisha squeezed him tight. "Thank you. For standing up for me. Mom never did that."
Note: I wonder how much of the US's memetic distrust of government is driven by its notoriously terrible structure of public school administration.
FaerieKnight79
Verified Pixie
- Location
- The Internet
Probably not as much as it is culturally driven by the fact the USA was founded on rebellion against the crown. Oh, and the long history of abuses of power within the government it's self too. Nixon wasn't the first corrupt politician. Nor will Trump be the the last. Hell, Illinois has a saying: State governors either go the the big house, or the white house.
BethofDeath
Girls just wanna have pun
- Location
- Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
- Pronouns
- She/Her
See also the South's rage at the federal government forcing desegregation, of course.
FaerieKnight79
Verified Pixie
- Location
- The Internet
And before that, daring to say "owning slaves is wrong".