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GG, Kronos, But I Have Foresight (PJO Self-Insert)

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Summary: In which the Greek gods are all pretty much Jerkass Gods with their own agendas, Percy...
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  • Informational
    • TheRealEvanSG

    TheRealEvanSG

    Not From Another World
    Location
    United States, Oho
    Pronouns
    He/Him
    Summary: In which the Greek gods are all pretty much Jerkass Gods with their own agendas, Percy is a ridiculously sassy little kid, Chiron is awkward af, and I'm just a punk-ass, possibly bisexual otaku making butterflies so big that they create fucking tornadoes. Oh, and I also appear to have been turned into a girl for some largely unknown reason. Fuck it, I'm not taking this. Kronos is getting so many blue plastic hairbrushes to the face.
    For those curious, here's a picture of me as I am now. Just imagine me as a chick, and there you are.
     
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    Prologue - I'm the Only One Without a Vote on My Fate, As Usual
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    • Prologue - I'm the Only One Without a Vote on My Fate, As Usual
    ​
    It was early in the morning of the Winter Council, and the tension in the air within the throne room of the gods was a churning soup of discomfort and nervousness. Even in normal times, the Winter Council was never exactly a peaceful place when you grouped together twelve immortal beings who were all at varying degrees of boredom, as well as annoyance with each other. But group together twelve of these people when war with the king of the Titans, Kronos himself, and his small army is gearing up for full-on war? The tension was so thick one could cut it with a knife. Literally. Ares was actually congealing tension around him and cutting it with his knife.

    "Plans are all stupid," Ares said sagely as he spread his tension on a slice of bread, humming something suspiciously similar to Iron Maiden. "This is never going to work out for us, you know. I don't care what Hypnos's dream said, mortals never succeed at anything we send them to do. And demigods are only slightly better than them. I'm telling you, we should just send hobbits. Those movies were awesome."

    Athena's eye twitched. "First of all, hobbits aren't real. And second of all, plans always work better than just flying by the seat of your pants and trying to bust through with your strength."

    "The sweet-ass silver Harley I rode through an alt-right rodeo during a solar eclipse begs to differ."

    "Girls, girls," Apollo hummed, strumming his lyre, "you're both pretty. In Athena's case, stunning." This earned him a scathing glare from the god of war and a particularly loathsome frown from the goddess of knowledge (and olive branches). The musician poet pointedly ignored this. "But Athena is correct. I have a hunch that Hypnos's mysterious dream the other day might be just the thing we need to put a cork in this entire plot of our dear... forefather."

    Zeus's hands clenched on his arm rests. "To think that we would desire help from a mere mortal... unthinkable!" he cursed, his godly knuckles whitening. "I refuse to go through with this plan!"

    "Even if it means putting a stop to this pointless death?" Hades hissed, leaning forward in his own dark throne, eyes gleaming. "The immeasurable expansion of my kingdom -- which, I might add, is already filled to bursting?"

    Poseidon raised a steady hand. "Peace brother," he requested. He sighed and shook his head. "We all know about the state of your kingdom -- you've been complaining about it since 1865. And Zeus," the enormous being added, his eyes green like the sea, "would you really refuse help that might save all of our children from countless unnecessary deaths? Haven't you already suffered from Thalia's first 'death' enough? Would you really risk the possibility of her dying a second time?"

    Zeus's fists clenched his throne tighter. Ozone crackled in the throne room. "Thalia is stronger than she used to be," he hissed, his words like the soft, rolling thunder coming from the horizon on a stormy day. "She won't lose again."

    "That Percy kid seems to be able to beat her ass just fine," Ares reasoned.

    Hermes snorted. "Never thought I'd hear the warmongerer try to use logic," he snarked, grinning widely and high-fiving a smirking Apollo while Ares gritted his teeth. "But in any case, yeah, that's right. And..." His eyes grew downcast. "My son, Luke... he's an even better fighter than Percy. There's no telling who might lose their lives in the coming battle. But if it were at all possible to avoid it altogether..."

    "I'm all for saving our children," Artemis said with a frown, "but must it be a mortal male? And must he be a mortal male from another world?"

    Persephone stroked her chin. "According to Hypnos's dream, he apparently knows our future from a series of books... but can he really save us all?"

    "Perhaps if he'd eat more cereal," suggested Demeter to Persephone's immense chagrin.

    A few moments of silence hung in the air.

    "We shall put it to a vote based on majority rule," Zeus said at last, sitting up straight. "Do we pull Evan Gamble from his world into our past to save our future, or do we proceed as we are now?"

    One more moment of hesitation passed before Hades rose his hand. Three other hands rose into the air for the first option. Four hands rose into the air for the second option. The gods glanced at each other to see who had yet to vote, and everyone's eyes fell upon Artemis.

    "Artemis? Hera?" Dionysus yawned, turning a page in his latest magazine. "I don't particularly care what you choose, but can you two at least make your decisions? I have a game of Pac-Man I need to get back to in Minneapolis."

    Artemis sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Does this hero really have to be a hero? What's particularly great about him that a girl can't do, or do better?"

    Hermes and Apollo looked at each other and shrugged. Athena, however, stood up and shook her head. "He's quite the smart young man, and his writings have shown he is a kind person who would be willing to change events for the better if placed in these situations."

    The silver-eyed huntress sighed. "Be that as it may, he is a man, and I cannot let a man do a job a woman could do just as well at."

    "I agree with Artemis," Hera huffed. "There are too many male heroes in the stories these days."

    "What if we made him a girl?" Aphrodite suggested, tilting her head. "I could handle that. Would you both be willing to accept then?"

    Artemis and Hera exchanged glances. An unspoken agreement passed between them, and they nodded.

    "Very well," the Huntress said at last, and her and Zeus's wife raised their hands. "Do this, and I shall accept his... or rather, her involvement in the proceedings of our future."

    "And I as well," Hera agreed.

    Zeus, who had voted against, cursed. "Blast! Then it is decided. Evan Gamble shall be in charge of the future of our entire world... as Eve Gamble." There was a clap of thunder, and flashes of lighting rained down on New York City despite there being no storm clouds or rain. Foolish mortals, unaware of the giant mountain hovering above their beloved Empire State Building, were left to watch the light show with great confusion. And as for me? Well, I was left to curse like a sailor as, far away from the gods and goddesses in an entirely alternate version of the United States, I felt the ground suddenly disappear from beneath my feet and send me tumbling into a great abyss.
     
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    • Chapter 1 - And I'd Just Escaped High School, Too
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    • Chapter 1 - And I'd Just Escaped High School, Too​

    I don't know if you know anything about Ohio, but normally, the ground doesn't open up right beneath your feet, toss you into a vortex of confusion, color, and contrast, and then dump your sorry ass on a bed in a boarding school at New York City. The ground is normally very solid and unmoving. You can usually expect it to keep you in your own plane of existence.

    Me, though?

    I wasn't so lucky.

    Falling through the magical rabbit hole, I quickly laid out a few possibilities as to how this could be happening. First: pipe dream. Evidence to this would be the whacky and shimmering rainbow colors that the walls of this otherwordly tunnel were composed of. Evidence against this would be that I'd made it a point to never ingest any sort of drug I didn't need, even over-the-counter allergy pills that didn't do shit to my allergies. Fuck Zertec.

    Second: I was drunk and hallucinating all of this. There was only evidence to the contrary on this point, sadly. I had no idea whether drinking could give you the sensation of continuously falling at sufficient velocity. Furthermore, just like with drugs, I'd gone out of my way to never accept any drinks offered to me, even from my parents. The only alcohol I'd ever partaken of was Sunday morning church wine, and I highly suspected that the priests commonly cheaped out and replaced the stuff with grape juice, anyway.

    Third: I was asleep and dreaming all of this. Again, not even close to an option. It had been bright, mid-August daylight mere minutes ago. I had an unfortunate habit of consistently failing at any and all attempts to take a nap, so unless I was having some weird daydream -- which I supposed could be possible since I was ADD -- that was out of the question.

    So, what did that leave, then? Bad mushrooms? Nah, I was picky eater; I hated mushrooms.

    ...Hmmmm.

    As I continued to fall through this rainbowy dimension, I folded my arms across my chest and crossed my legs. Cold wind buffetted my brown hair around and peeled my somewhat ovular face up. To any outsiders, I would've looked cartoonishly uncomfortable, and I was. Do you think having your lips ripped upwards by the sheer force of the wind striking your face is fun? If so, you're even more insane than I am, which is saying something, since I once binged the entirety of Ouran High School Host Club while I was sick and could barely keep my eyes open because of my damn allergies. My eyes were itchy as hell after that incident, but goddammit if the laughs weren't worth it.

    Oh, lookie there. The tunnel's stopping. Seems like my pointless, internal rambling had managed to pass enough time that I'd finally escaped this weird wormhole aaaaaand oh, fuck, now I'm falling at terminal velocity, directly onto a bed in the middle of some completely random room.

    WHUMP. My soft body landed heavily on the bed, which seemed just barely able to fit my 5'9" body in it. Its wooden legs creaked, and the bed shook dangerously. All of the air I had in my body rapidly escaped my lungs upon impact and I choked dryly. Owww. That had hurt. Human bodies weren't designed to experience high-velocity impact on a cheap-ass bed mattress that was barely softer than a prison floor! I think I cracked a rib or two. Possibly three. Sue me, I'm no doctor.

    Actually, please don't! I'm dirt poor as it is and really don't need to hire a lawyer.

    I groaned painfully as I bounced once, twice, on the very hard bed before finally stopping. My head spun, and my entire body ached. My chest especially hurt. In fact, it hurt strangely bad, like someone had kicked me in the balls but kind of a lesser sensation. It was making it a bit hard to breathe. That might've been from the added heaviness on my chest, though. It wasn't much at all, but I definitely noticed it, and it definitely felt like I had two weights strapped above my non-existent man-boobs. Like, what the hell? Had the thing that spirited me away from walking my dog on a bright, sunny August day also decided it cared about my physical strength? Screw you, mysterious ROB, if I want to be lazy about my physical condition, then I'm not gonna just half-ass it.

    Can you half-ass half-assing things? ...I don't rightly know. Give me a few seconds on that one.

    I opened my eyes without even realizing I closed them, groaned as I swung my shapely legs over the edge of the bed, and rubbed my head. Well, at least the pain told me this was real.

    Closing my eyes, I sighed and shook my head. I couldn't just sit here all day. I had to figure out some clue as to where I was and exactly what had happened to me. For the first time, I took stock of my new environment.

    Going by the fact that I was actually on a bunk bed, I was in a generic, unassuming dorm room, with depressing grey walls that seemed designed to give absolutely no psychological stimulus to the occupants, be it positive or negative. The floor was a fluffy, light yellow wool carpet, the kind of yellow that people use when they don't want to be blatantly in your face about it. Plastered to the wall were posters for various celebrities, like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, and the posters had pink paper hearts of varying sizes taped to them. Noises of some city -- the high whine of cars, the honking of horns -- permeated softly through the grey walls.

    A closet was shoved against the wall to my right, with a door next to it. The closet was filled to bursting with a rather ridiculous amount of items, not a single one of them having any sort of relevance to the rest. Another closet sat next to a window on the wall to my left, and upon inspecting its contents, I noticed that it was much more orderly than its brother. Clean, ironed clothes dangled carefully on hangers. They were all definitely girls' clothes, and certainly were a school uniform. A bead of sweat rolled down my cheek, and I looked to the wall directly in front of the bunk bed I was sitting on. A desk with a large mirror sat there beneath a heart-covered poster of Brad Pitt, and upon its surface sat a variety of makeup supplies and brushes and whatnot that I couldn't even begin to name.

    Well, that settled that, then. I was in some sort of girl's dorm room in some random city. Going by the rather aggravating amount of honking that came from the traffic outside, and the fact that I could see what looked to be a row of brownstone buildings from the window, the city was New York. I'd been to New York about four times, and had vacationed in several other important American cities, and I could say with some certainty that the Big Apple had the nosiest drivers of them all.

    The thought crossed my mind that I might not be in an American city altogether.

    I furiously punched and kicked that thought into the back of my mind, where it cowered in darkness. I was not spending the rest of my life kidnapped and forced to live in a Russian girl's dorm.

    I pushed myself off of the bunk bed, cursing as I landed on my foot badly, and hobbled over to the door. It opened before I could get a chance to even grab the knob though, and my momentum carried me forward into a soft body. My vision was momentarily blocked by said soft body.

    Oh God, please don't let this be a face-in-the-boobs cliche, please don't let this be a face-in-the-boobs cliche, I whined desperately in my head.

    A sharp intake of surprise reached my ears and I backed away from the soft body to examine the girl whom I'd accidentally run into. Judging from my height and hers, I had lucked out and hadn't actually gotten my face stuck in her breasts. Then again, she didn't actually have much in that way to speak of. She was a short thing, shorter than me at least, and my vision had been blocked by her hair, not her chest. She currently was not in a school uniform, but rather in an edgy black shirt that depicted a heart pierced by an arrow with a jaggedy shaft. She wore equally edgy black pants, and from how well she would've blended into a night sky, to me she kind of looked like she was trying to simulate both a robber and an early 2000's punk band groupie. Then again, she didn't really have the hair for my last judgement; it was straight and a natural red, tied into a ponytail that hung on her back.

    We stared for a few moments. She looked highly unimpressed with my accidental faceful of her hair.

    "Um, hello, Earthling," I said, offering a small, nervous wave. "Are you Russian?"

    Was my voice always that high? I mean, I had a naturally high voice, but I'd thought it was at least low enough to be considered a male's.

    The girl cocked her eyebrow. "Eve," she said slowly, like I was a piece of gum on the bottom of her black school shoes, "you are so weird."

    "My name's not Eve, it's Evan!" I snapped, wincing as she shoved past me and elbowed me into the door. Owwww, my funny bone. Seriously!? On top of having cracked ribs, I now also had a hurt funny bone!? This was not funny, God. Just what was going on, anyway? I randomly got stolen from walking my dog in Ohio, I ended up in what's probably a girl's dorm room in New York City, my voice is higher, and this edgy redheaded girl just called me Eve.

    ...Wait.

    Waaaaaait. Just what did I like to do in my free time? Just what did I pour my life and soul and precious hours of sleep into every day of my life?

    Fuck. I was a self-insert.

    While the redheaded girl gaped at me, I rubbed my non-existent beard and paced in circles in the doorway, largely ignoring the aching in my chest and funny bone. Okay, so I at least know this much now. But what series was I in? Shit, I'd read and watched a lot of stuff. How was I supposed to know where I was? I still didn't know enough about this location to make an accurate guess...

    I rushed over to the redhead, grabbed her, and shook her desperately. Her eyes widened in surprise and she attempted to knock my hands off of her shoulders. "What year is this!?" I asked hurriedly.

    "2005!" she yelped, eyes wide. "Hey, let go, bitch!"

    2005... okay, so I was definitely on Earth, then. Of course, I'd suspected as much anyway from the posters of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, but it was nice to have confirmation. Swallowing dryly, I asked, "Where are we?"

    "Did you hit your head or something?" The girl squinted at me and punched my elbow. Yelping, my grip on her shoulders relaxed, and I keeled over to nurse my poor elbow. "We're at Yancy Academy, home to every kind of problem child you could name. I'm Nancy Bobofit, and you're my annoying roommate, Eve Gamble."

    That got me to look up from my elbow. Yancy Academy... Yancy... why did that name sound familiar? Nancy Bobofit was ringing a bell, too. A very faint bell, to be sure, but it was ringing something. Yancy Academy... Nancy Bobofit... Some series I had watched or read.... I tapped my foot as I tried to link them together.

    Furies. Centaurs. Decapitating math teachers.

    My pearly, hazel eyes shot open in recognition. Sweet Jesus on a Harley Davis, I was in Percy Jackson.

    ...Fuck, I was in Percy Jackson.

    .......Awesome! I was in Percy Jacks -- waaaaaait a minute.

    "Did you say 'Eve Gamble,' and roommate?" I asked awkwardly.

    Nancy growled and sighed. "Yes. What is wrong with you today? I mean, you're weird normally, but this is nuts even for you."

    I rushed over to the mirror on the makeup desk and stared. Long, chocolate hair, beautiful hazel eyes, pink blush on the cheeks, lips turned a soft, gel-ish pink from lipstick, and a girl's school uniform. I blinked. The person in the reflection blinked back. I blinked again. She copied me again. Behind me, Nancy Bobofit lifted her eyebrow and stuck her hands in her pockets before collapsing on her bunkbed. "Whatever, bitch."

    Brain.exe has suddenly stopped working. Reboot? Yes/No.

    Yes.

    Rebooting    ...

    I screamed.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 2 - Nancy Bobofit is Not the Best Roommate
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 2 - Nancy Bobofit is Not the Best Roommate
    ​
    Okay, okay, okay, step one -- don't panic. Step one failed. Step two... what was step two? I didn't have a step two. I didn't have a step two. Step three -- panic some more. At least I was able to pull that one off. Step four -- Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

    "YAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" I howled, punching the makeup desk's oaken surface. My knuckles throbbed, and I rubbed them gingerly in response. In hindsight, perhaps slamming a twelve-year-old, feminine fist into a hard surface wasn't the best of ideas. Then again, I wasn't exactly well-known for my good ideas, and that was before I was turned into a tween girl.

    Tween... Oh, shit. I'm gonna have to go through puberty again, aren't I?

    I'm gonna have to go through puberty again.

    I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH PERIODS.

    "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

    "You done now?" Nancy asked dryly, blowing a pink Double Bubble bubble.

    Panting, I clutched my still-aching chest and plopped myself down on the floor. "Yeah, I'm done now. Oh, wait. YAAAAAAAARGH! Okay, now I'm done."

    "So what was that about, weirdo?" the redhead asked casually. She pulled out her cell phone, her thumbs flying over the keys. I blinked at that. Were kids at Yancy Academy allowed to have cell phones? I had no idea. I also had to blink at just how ridiculously crappy the cell phones looked. These were not your 2017 smartphones, people. "I am definitely texting all my friends about this, and I'd like some reasons as to why my annoying dormie suddenly freaked."

    "You're too young to understand," I quipped, groaning as I picked myself off the floor. Now that I was over freaking out, there was only one thing left to do: head to the bathroom.

    "Bitch, your birthday's in November. Mine's in June. I'm way older than you."

    I paused with my hand halfway to the door. I was younger than Nancy Bobofit in this universe!? I threw my hands up to the sky and glared. "Aw, what? Come on, seriously?"

    "Yes," Nancy drawled. "And, where are you going?"

    "Bathroom." I marched out the door. Moments passed, and I poked my head back into the room. "Um, where exactly are the bathrooms again?"

    Apparently the bathrooms were not that far from our dorm room, which was pretty lucky. I hurried across the marble floor of Yancy Academy's hallways and came to a stop at the bathrooms after making one right turn and jogging down the stairs. I definitely didn't trip a couple times due to my misplaced center of gravity. I also definitely didn't use the wall to keep my balance the rest of the way. I did, however, pause and stare at the entrance to the girl's bathroom for about five minutes when I finally arrived.

    My skin crawled. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Dare I step foot in the one place forbidden to all men for centuries? The garden of femininity, the sacred trust of solitude and peace from perverts?

    I took a nervous step forward. Every atom in my body screamed, and I stopped.

    Come on, dude, I told myself in a pathetically whiny voice. If you don't take this chance now, you'll never be able to do it again!

    My fists shaking by my side, I lifted a trembling foot high into the air. I brought it down hard across the threshold of the entrance, my black school shoes thudding against white-and-blue tiles. Gulping, I lifted my other foot and set it down ahead of the first. Lift, fall, lift, fall. My fists were clenched so tightly that my knuckles were turning white, but at last, a giddy feeling swept over me. I'd done it! I'd entered the girls' bathroom!

    I rushed around the corner, skidded to a stop in front of the mirror, shrugged off the straps keeping up the black tank top-ish part of the uniform, and whipped off my baggy, white hand-me-down shirt.

    Hazel eyes blinked.

    "...This is not as fulfilling as I imagined it would be," I thought aloud, "but I am strangely okay with this."

    I wasn't exactly what one would consider pretty. My new feminine body had a pretty average build for being in the tween years. Despite the boring white bra which covered my chest (did my girl side not understand what water and Murphy's Law did to white clothing?), I could tell that her -- no, my breasts were on the smaller side. My hourglass figure wasn't quite defined yet, but it was getting there.

    Man. It felt really weird to be thinking those thoughts. Like, really weird. But, like I'd said, now that my initial freak out was over? Yeah. I was... kind of alright with this. I wouldn't say comfortable -- not by leagues. Just, alright. Adjusted. Honestly, I was just super thankful I hadn't turned out to be Mary Sue-beautiful. That would've made things a little awkward. Somehow being so average, just like in my past body, made things a little easier to cope with. It was true that I might have to deal with annoying looks from men for the foreseeable future, but that wasn't -- oh, no, wait, I was not tempting fate. No, siree.

    Thunder rumbled high above the rooftops of Yancy Academy.

    Fuck.

    I shrugged my clothes on, my curiosity about my own body satiated. I was just about to step out of the bathroom when I felt a clenching below my stomach that was both familiar and unfamiliar. I froze in horror and sloooowly turned to look at the bathroom stalls.

    Di immortales. How was I supposed to do this?

    ~o~​

    Nancy Bobofit looked up from her phone, a curious frown on her face as she regarded my disheveled form stumbling into our dorm room. My face was pale, I was clutching my stomach, and my entire body was trembling.

    "So, care if I ask what took you an hour in the bathroom?" she asked, line of sight returning to the soft glow of her phone screen.

    I shuddered in horror. "A Thing Man Was Not Meant to Know. In every sense of the phrase."

    "By the way, I thought you might care to know," Nancy added as I climbed the ladder to the top bunk -- which was apparently mine -- with a nasty shudder, "but I stuffed a lot of your clothes with ketchup sandwiches."

    Anger washed over me and caused me to momentarily forget about my horrific attempt at utilizing different plumbing. I lowered my head over the edge of the top bunk to glare down at Nancy, who seemed altogether too pleased with herself. "WHY!?" I demanded, my voice cracking. "Just... why!?"

    "Because I was bored."

    "Aw, shit, I don't even have a good response to that." I pulled myself up and collapsed in exhaustion on my hard bed, which just an hour before had broken my fall into this messed-up alternate world. "I'm too tired for this bullcrap."

    I closed my eyes, thinking about things. If I was forced to be in Yancy Academy with a twelve-year-old Nancy, that meant I was likely supposed to live through the events of at least the first PJO book. But what was I supposed to do? I growled angrily. Everyone knew that messing with prophecies could land you in some serious trouble, and wouldn't avert them anyway. Was I meant to eventually join forces with Percy and the gang? Could I even do anything if I did? Was I human, or was I demigod? Or was I something even stranger?

    After some time, I finally rolled over and sighed. First things first -- I was going to have to get those clothes washed now, wasn't I? Yeah, I was. I didn't want to have to spend the entire rest of my school year in white shirts stained with red ketchup. Hopefully Nancy had done it recently enough that I could still bleach out most of the stains. Growling about school bullies and unfair situations, I heaved myself over the edge of the bed, landed badly on my foot again, and limped over to my closet.

    Well, I assumed it was my closet, at least. As I'd described earlier, there were only two in the room, and one of them had all sorts of mismatched belongings in it. I was fairly positive the female version of me wasn't a kleptomaniac, which meant I had the cleaner closet.

    At least one version of me had some sense of order about their sleeping quarters.

    Sighing, I opened my closet and winced at the amount of ketchup stains that were covering the shirts. Yeah, that was a lot of sandwiches. Nancy must've raided the kitchen for all of this. I grabbed all of the shirts that were stained, shook out the sandwiches that were somehow lodged into them, and strode out of the room after gaining directions to the school laundry. I hummed something inspiring to myself, one of my favorite tracks from My Hero Academia. Music always helped keep my mind off things when they went badly, and it was no different here. The music helped calm my nerves, though my anger and annoyance at Nancy and at being in this whole situation in general weren't quelled very much.

    Actually, the closer I walked to the laundry room, the angrier I found myself getting, despite the music.

    I'd been taken unwillingly from my home. I'd lost the ability to see my family again, unless they were somehow still existing in this alternate world. And I hadn't even met the person or thing that had done it all. Hell, I hadn't even been told what it was that I was supposed to do here! Was there some divine task assigned to me? Or were the gods just bored and decided to pull me here for fun, like Nancy with her sandwiches? Was it even the gods who had brought me here?

    I had millions of questions and not a single answer, and I was pissed. Off.

    Upon finally reaching the laundry room, I noticed that there was a group of four girls, all wearing the same uniform as me, waiting inside, around the lines of washers and dryers. I spared them a frown as I walked by and shrugged my gaggle of stained shirts into a more comfortable spot over my arm. I opened up an empty washer, dumped my load inside it, added some bleach, and set it to wash them. I waited impatiently, all the while feeling the girls' eyes on me.

    "So, Eve has finally snapped, has she?" one of them (I had no idea who) snickered behind my back.

    Nancy Bobofit's statement came back to mind: I'm definitely texting all my friends about this.

    I was gonna kill her.

    There was a chuckle from a different girl -- a higher-pitched voice, a crueller voice. "Yeah, but I mean, it's not like we all didn't see it coming. She got in here because she kept claiming that she saw monsters everywhere, after all. It was only a matter of time."

    "Yelling her head off like a lunatic," giggled someone else. My shoulders shook. "Must have been so scary, seeing ghosts and goblins in her dorm room."

    I unclenched my fist long enough to grab some of my shirt and scrunch it up inside my hand. What had Eve gone through in her past life? I had no idea, but hearing these girls make fun of her like this -- make fun of me -- was setting my blood to boil. And furthermore, was Eve an actual person or were these all just memories created by the Mist?

    I calmed down somewhat. Yeah, that was probably it. It was like that thing with everyone forgetting about Mrs. Dodds when Percy decapitated her in canon -- I'd bet that these memories everyone has of Eve are just false ones conceived from a prehistorical magic.

    Beyond the laundry room, I heard footsteps and two boys talking. Some of the footsteps were off-beat, like the person making them was limp or something.

    "If I were her," someone said, "instead of being insane all my life, I'd have just jumped off the nearest rooftop."

    I gritted my teeth. That was it.

    "You know, telling someone to commit suicide is a federal offense," I growled, turning around and glaring at the four girls who had been laughing behind my back. They smirked at themselves and rolled their eyes, and my eyes narrowed. "I'd suggest that next time, you think before you speak. If I actually were to jump off a rooftop, you'd be thrown in jail."

    One of them, a brunette with a freckly face and a mean smile, shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Monster Whisperer. See, I didn't actually tell you to do anything."

    My fists shook. "You were clearly insinuating it," I hissed. I was so fed up with everything that I couldn't stand it.

    "What are you gonna do about it, freak?" one of the brunette's friends, a tall blonde, asked cheekily.

    I glowered at them, and started to raise my fist, but I hesitated. Was I really about to punch these people? They were just bullies. They didn't deserve my time of day. They were just human, and humans are mean to each other. It's just a natural law of the universe. Besides, most of my rage wasn't even directed at them.

    I lowered my fist, disgusted with myself as much as them, and turned to glare daggers at my washing machine. "Just leave me alone."

    The footsteps from earlier drew close and louder. "Is everything alright here, girls?"

    Blinking, I raised my head to look at the entrance to the laundry room, where two kids who were about my new age stood with passive expressions. One of them, the boy with the crutches, had acne and just a few whisps of hair on his chin. He looked nervous, and his lower lip was trembling, but he was resolute as he frowned at the girls who'd been trying to egg me on. He had a baseball cap on his head. Beside him was a boy with a Mediterranean complexion, who would've looked pretty plain had it not been for his unkempt hair, which looked rather strikingly like a surfer's, and his sea green eyes.

    My eyes widened.

    Beside me, the girls hesitated and looked at each other. Even though Percy and Grover, because that's who these boys had to be, looked pretty weak at the moment, it was clear my bullies liked doing their thing more when other people weren't around. They paused, exchanged looks, and all herded out the door past Percy and Grover.

    "We're fine, punks."

    "Beat it, Enchilada Boy," the brunette snarked, shoving Grover into the side of the entrance.

    He bleated in surprise, and my back stiffened. Dear Lord, that sounded exactly like a goat. I stared as a furious Percy turned swiftly to her. "Hey, watch where you're going!" the son of Poseidon growled.

    "Sorry." She didn't sound sorry.

    "It's alright, Perce," Grover reassured his friend as he stood up straight. "She didn't hurt my leg."

    Percy's fists lowered. I hadn't even realized he'd raised them. "Oh. Alright, then." The duo turned to me as the quartet of bullies at last vanished from sight. "Hey, there, Eve. You alright?"

    I blinked. "You know me?"

    "Um..." Percy's brow furrowed. "Kind of? I mean... I think I've seen you in class before, but... I don't know?"

    "Wow, great answer," I said flatly. Grover studied me carefully.

    "I've never seen you around," he said slowly. "Who are you?"

    "Evan --" My voice caught, and I paused, leaving only the slight whirring of the washing machine in the background. That wasn't quite right anymore, was it? The undercover satyr raised his eyebrow as he caught my slip-up. "Er, Eve Gamble." I stuck out a hand. "Nice to meet you."

    Grover studied my hand and looked from it, to my face. His nose twitched, and I realized he must have been sniffing to gather my scent. Oh, yeah, that's right! If this was before the museum field trip, then he would've known there was a monster in the school, but had no idea who it was. My face paled for a moment. Oh, crap. It was obvious now that the Mist was messing with people's memories of me, but as a satyr who knew about all of this, he wouldn't have been affected by it like Percy was. I was sure that he was thinking I'm the monster.

    "Grover Underwood," Grover said, very uncertainly, as he slowly accepted my handshake. "Nice to meet you, too."

    Percy grinned and shot me a winning smile as he firmly shook my hand after Grover. It was a much more confident and friendly shake than Grover's had been. "Percy Jackson. Give us a shout if those girls bother you again."

    "Uh, thanks," I said intelligently as my childhood hero grinned, waved, and pulled his best friend back out into the hall.

    I swallowed nervously as Grover's studious gaze didn't leave me until they were around the wall.

    Oh, yeah, that satyr didn't trust me. He didn't trust me in the slightest.

    Greaaaaat.
     
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    • Oh, a Percy Jackson fic. I remember reading that entire franchise and then years later when I learned more about Greek Myth and how much it pisses on it ruined it for me though.
     
    Assembler said:
    I'm honestly curious how you think it pisses on Greek myth, given one of its stated goals was to be the modern Greek myths.
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    Well, it kinda makes them a lot more modern and Western, giving the gods personalities that tend to differ from their original counterparts. There's also certain myths it uses in place of others, but that's more of a stylistic choice.
     
    Assembler said:
    I'm honestly curious how you think it pisses on Greek myth, given one of its stated goals was to be the modern Greek myths.
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    The biggest thing that annoyed me was that it turned Hades into a second Zeus turning him from the iconic only loyal husband among the Greek Gods to yet another Zeus and also literally bad guy incarnate even though he wasn't ever the villain for the series. Another thing that mildly bothered me was that Kronos was the Titan of agriculture, he was still Zeus's father, but still.

    Also, the guy who wrote the series has stated that he doesn't even seriously consider the Greek Mythos as valid as a religion, let alone has done any serious research on it.

    In terms of preferences I prefer the Hesiod origin for Aphrodite over the Homer origin, as the former has her come from Uranus's Genitals that was thrown into the ocean making her Kronos's half sibling, and that's mostly because I find it hilarious. She's likely have two separate forms similar to how all the Greek Gods have both Roman and Greek incarnations.

    Another thing is that it glorifies Greek culture over the Romans that literally conquered Greece and is the actual source for all modern western culture, which in turn stemmed from the Persians. Percy is horrifically overpowered, but that's in a book after the battle for Olympus and I feel that any OP'ness could probably be chaulked up to the God's going behind his back and making him slightly more God then Demi.

    There's also all sorts of minor details throughout that are either love it or hate it, Medusa was a tragic figure in classical Greek myth and was relegated to a villainous role, I think she should have been a repeating villain because she fucking hates Poseidon and doing literally anything to fuck with him would be something she'd much appreciate. Although I will admit a minor detail I totally love is how they depicted the Centaurs as total dudebro party hounds, fucking hilarious.
     
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    Malbutorius said:
    The biggest thing that annoyed me was that it turned Hades into a second Zeus turning him from the iconic only loyal husband among the Greek Gods to yet another Zeus and also literally bad guy incarnate even though he wasn't ever the villain for the series. Another thing that mildly bothered me was that Kronos was the Titan of agriculture, he was still Zeus's father, but still.

    Also, the guy who wrote the series has stated that he doesn't even seriously consider the Greek Mythos as valid as a religion, let alone has done any serious research on it.

    In terms of preferences I prefer the Hesiod origin for Aphrodite over the Homer origin, as the former has her come from Uranus's Genitals that was thrown into the ocean making her Kronos's half sibling, and that's mostly because I find it hilarious. She's likely have two separate forms similar to how all the Greek Gods have both Roman and Greek incarnations.

    Another thing is that it glorifies Greek culture over the Romans that literally conquered Greece and is the actual source for all modern western culture. Percy is horrifically overpowered, but that's in a book after the battle for Olympus and I feel that any OP'ness could probably be chaulked up to the God's going behind his back and making him slightly more God then Demi.

    There's also all sorts of minor details throughout that are either love it or hate it, Medusa was a tragic figure in classical Greek myth and was relegated to a villainous role, I think she should have been a repeating villain because she fucking hates Poseidon and doing literally anything to fuck with him would be something she'd much appreciate. Although I will admit a minor detail I totally love is how they depicted the Centaurs as total dudebro party hounds, fucking hilarious.
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    Annabeth playing fetch with the great, fearsome three-headed canine gatekeeper of the Underworld was always one of my favorite parts of the first book. I love that scene so damn much.
     
    Chapter 3 - I Have Fury
  • Threadmarks
    • Chapter 3 - I Have Fury
    ​
    It turned out that the day of the week I'd fallen into the Percy Jackson world on had been a Sunday, which was different from that same day back in my world. I found this out after I went to bed that evening. That had taken a whole lot of staring up at the dark ceiling to accomplish, but somehow I'd managed it. Luckily, I didn't have any demigod dreams. Or perhaps, I should've said unluckily? After all, since I definitely knew about the world of gods and monsters, if I'd become a demigod upon falling into Yancy, I should have started getting demigod dreams. But since I didn't, that was a definite clue pointing towards me being a mortal. Which was obviously less than ideal for a number of reasons.

    I digress.

    Nancy Bobofit woke me up by blowing a fog horn right in my face. "Get up, loser, classes start in ten minutes."

    Blearily, I sat up stiffly and glared through my tired, hazel eyes at my bully of a roommate. She grinned and waved the fog horn in front of my face like a pendulum, moving it away from my hand quickly before I could snatch it away. I groaned. Then I realized that yesterday hadn't been a dream, and groaned some more.

    "First of all, I'm gonna seriously get you for yesterday," I snarled, taking the ladder to the floor (I didn't want to twist my foot again). "Second of all, why did you wake me up only ten minutes before classes? And third of all, GIVE ME THAT DAMN FOG HORN!"

    Nancy deftly dodged my attempts to steal the fog horn from her. She leaped to the side as I jumped up to try and snatch it from her hands, and I tripped over her foot, faceplanting into the soft yellow carpet. She chuckled, twirled the fog horn around her finger (how was she even doing that?), walked over to her closet, and stuffed the noisy object right deep down into her pile of random crap. I wilted as I scrambled to my feet. Yeah, there was no way I was digging around in that mess for a dumb little fog horn.

    "First of all," she said in a high and altogether bad impression of my new voice, "in your dreams, second of all, because no makeup can improve your looks, and third of all, nope. See ya in homeroom with Mrs. Dodds!"

    My jaw hung open in disbelief as she swaggered out the door, snickering to herself.

    "How much of a bitch can one person be?" I asked nobody in particular at last. Man, this school year was going to suck. Groaning to myself about unbearable jerkasses, I pulled off the *shudder* lace-lined, pink pajamas that I'd found in my closet and pulled on one set of my school uniform. It was only when I was half way out the door, with seven minutes remaining, that I realized I had no idea where Mrs. Dodds's classroom was.

    Oh. Crap. I really did not want my first experience with the literal Math teacher from hell to be me running late.

    Luckily, I found someone in the halls who knew the way, and following their directions, I raced as fast as my current mobility in my new body would allow. I managed to sneak into class and plop down in my seat seconds before the bell rang. I probably looked like crap. My long, flowing hair was still disheveled from my restless slumber, I still had eye boogers that I hadn't quite yet blinked away, my face was kind of broken out, and I was squirming in my seat because I hadn't gotten the chance to go to the bathroom.

    Mrs. Dodds narrowed her eyes at me as the bell rang mere moments after I sat down in the only empty desk in the classroom -- clearly mine. No recognition gleamed in those eyes, but something else about her was strange: namely, everything. Her skin was leathery and her feet were like a bird's, with nasty talons sticking out of the toes which were so sharply pointed they looked like they could pierce bones. Attached to her arms were dark wings that reminded me of a vampire's, and her hair was black and scraggly. One long tail curled out from her back.

    I drew in a sharp intake of breath, my eyes widening and my face paling. I looked around at the other students in the room desperately -- didn't they see this!? Percy was just grinning and waving at me, and Grover only eyed me nervously. All of the other students were regarding Mrs. Dodds normally, like she was just another person and not a Greek monster. Dammit, the Mist was strong stuff... but then, if I was human, why was I seeing through it more clearly than even Grover?

    Something here was off. Something here was very, very off.

    "As you all know," said the demon from behind a podium at the front of the room, "today is the day of our field trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art."

    Percy perked up and looked at Mrs. Dodds with probably the most attention he'd ever looked at her with before. He didn't say anything, however. He'd probably learned not to talk over demon Math teachers, even if he hadn't yet learned she was a demon.

    "You all should have gotten your permission slips signed and turned in by now," she continued, "and from what I see..." She reached into her desk, pulled out a black binder, and flipped to some random page. Her eyes roamed down it, and then she looked back up to me. They narrowed further. Her head tilted back down to the binder, and again up to me.

    Sweat rolled down my forehead.

    "You all have done so," Mrs. Dodds finished at last, stuffing the binder carefully back in her desk. She didn't break her gaze from me. I swallowed nervously. Just like Grover before her, this Fury knew I wasn't meant to exist in this classroom. My body trembled, and every cell screamed at me to get up and run. But I was too afraid even to do that. This woman's true form was terrifying to look at in real life.

    Mrs. Dodds then went over some more rules and regulations -- the basic field trip procedure. Be polite, don't touch anything you're not supposed to, no food or drink on the bus, don't annoy the driver. My eyes fell upon Nancy Bobofit at those last two points. She was leaning back in her chair with her feet resting against her desk, using her bubble gum to blow bubbles without a care in the world. I did notice that she discreetly flipped me off when I turned my gaze back to the demon teacher, however. Of course, Mrs. Dodds didn't bat an eye.

    I took a deep breath and calmed my nerves. It's alright, Evan... er, Eve. Calm down. At least you don't have to deal with Trump's presidency anymore.

    As per the teacher's instructions, after she was done talking, we got up and waited at the entrance of the Academy for our bus. It arrived a minute later... pretty good timing, I'd say. I remembered my school's buses always arriving at least three minutes late for our activities, but whatever. Chiron joined the group just before the bus showed up. Everyone piled onto the bus, with Mrs. Dodds ushering us all in and looking like she'd much rather be at an all-you-can-eat buffet, with demigods as the food. Despite the nasty image of people getting eaten, that thought had made me realize how hungry I was. It was around eight o'clock, and I'd missed breakfast.

    My stomach growled, and I slumped over in my seat. "At least I didn't get dropped in some world without McDonald's, like One Piece," I told my stomach.

    I don't think it was very comforted.

    Percy, who sat in the aisle seat across from me with Grover to his right, blinked and looked at me. "What?"

    "Nothing," I said quickly with a wince. I hadn't realized I'd actually said that aloud. Whoops.

    Percy shrugged and turned back to chat with Grover about Mr. Brunner's next pen-to-sword quiz.

    How had I manipulated things so that Percy and Grover sat next to me, you ask? Upon the bus arriving, I'd shoved my way to the front of my new class. I wanted to be sure to sit down near two of the heroes of the book, for several reasons. I wanted to be able to try and help them when Nancy inevitably threw PB&J's at the back of Grover's head; I wanted to be somewhat protected if Mrs. Dodds and her scathing glare tried anything on me; and really I wanted to just sit by two of my childhood heroes. Even if one of them didn't trust me in the slightest.

    I really needed to fix that.

    New York City traffic was just as bad as I remembered, even at eight in the morning. The streets were clogged and everything was moving slower than molasses. I had a funny joke about molasses -- no, no, get back on track. Anyway, everyone was getting more than a little impatient as we crawled along the streets and roads. Bored, I decided to bite down and strike up a conversation.

    "So, um, Percy?" I said nervously. Dammit, I was never good at knowing what to say to people I'd only just met. Especially when this person was Percy Freaking Jackson. "Grover?" They turned to me curiously, and I paused, swallowing. "Thanks... Thanks for trying to help me out back there. It was fine already... but I appreciate your help."

    Grover frowned. "It's... no problem," he said. Yeah, he still didn't trust me.

    Percy shrugged. "Felt like the right thing to do," he reasoned. "So, anything you looking forward to on this field trip, Eve?"

    Decking Nancy Bobofit in the face for you if she pelts Grover with PB&J's, I thought. "No, nothing really. I think I've been to the Metropolitan before. I forget, though. I've vacationed here in New York several times, and they all kinda blended together."

    "I know how that feels," Percy sighed. "ADHD sucks."

    "ADD here," I said, jabbing my thumb at myself. "Apparently I'm not hyperactive enough to add an H in."

    "No kidding?" Percy chuckled.

    Grover narrowed his eyes. "You said you'd vacationed here in New York before? So, the city isn't your home, then?"

    "Er..." Crap. I realized I had no idea about what Eve's past was supposed to be.

    Percy snapped his fingers. "Ah, now I remember!" he said suddenly. "I remember seeing you on the first day with introductions! You said that... um... you came from Ohio?"

    "Yeah..." I said slowly. That was right, for sure, but how had Eve ended up here, then? I was just gonna make something up off the top of my head and roll with it. Memories of things Nancy's friends had said in the laundry room came to mind. "For some reason, I can't help but see monsters everywhere. It terrified me, and my parents had been beside themselves trying to figure out what to do. A friend of a friend of a friend mentioned Yancy and it's good reputation with 'troubled kids.'" Here, I made air quotes with my fingers. "And the rest, as they say, is history."

    The sea god's friend blinked as something dawned on him. He leaned over Percy. "Do you see any monsters now?" he asked under his breath.

    Percy frowned at him. "Hey, what? I thought you were better than that. Don't tease the poor girl about it."

    "I'm not!" Grover blushed. Okay, I will admit it. The goat boy was cute when he was embarrassed, in the way that a little kid is cute when they're pouting. "It was an honest question!"

    "It's fine, Percy," I said quietly, leaning across the aisle. Thoughts bounced around in my head. Could I prevent Percy from beginning to realize who he was, and keep him safe for a little while longer? I pointed up the bus to where Mrs. Dodds, the bat-winged monster, sat. "Her."

    In spite of what he'd just said, Percy cracked a smile. "I always knew she was inhuman," he quipped, and Grover smacked him lightly on the head.

    "Not funny, dude." Grover turned back to me carefully. "What do you see when you look at her?"

    I opened my mouth --

    SPLAT. My head jerked forward in surprise as I felt something soft and squishy smack into it. I quickly reached up and grabbed the offending object as it fell, and growled. It was a PB&J sandwich. Percy frowned at the torn off piece of food in my hand, and we both turned around. Two seats back from the demigod and satyr sat Nancy, who was grinning cheekily at me. Her hand flashed in an arc--

    I ducked quickly. Another piece of PB&J splatted into the window. I glared at her, dropping the piece of sandwich I was holding on the floor and running my non-dirtied hand through my hair. Blast it all, now I had flicks of peanut butter in my hair.

    "No food on the bus, Nancy," I said with a glare.

    She smirked. "What are you gonna do about it, bitch?"

    "Hey, watch it!" Percy said. "She's your roommate! Shouldn't you at least be nicer to her?"

    "Nope." Nancy popped the 'p.'

    Sea green eyes flashed with annoyance, and Percy growled under his breath, "I'm gonna punch her."

    "Don't!" Grover yelped, pulling his friend back down. The boy had been standing up, getting ready to go back there and deck the bully. "Mrs. Dodds will be furious."

    Furious. How ironic. In spite of everything, I snorted. I always did love a good pun, even if it was an accidental one. "You're a pretty funny guy, Grover," I said mirthfully, the humor making me forget my anger towards Nancy. I faced forward again and slumped down below the back of my seat to avoid being an easy target. Unfortunately, this left Grover open to the next piece of unusual ammunition. He followed my example along with Percy.

    "What do you mean?" asked Grover, genuinely confused.

    I looked back at Mrs. Dodds. "Bat wings. Leathery skin. Big tail. Humanoid. Looks like she never got out into the light. She kinda looks like a demon."

    Grover's and Percy's eyes followed my gaze. Percy blinked. "Nope, sorry. I still see a Math teacher."

    "Yeah," Grover said, confused. "And what does that description have to do with puns...?" He blinked, and then his eyes widened in sudden terror. "Wait..." He looked at Percy and immediately closed his mouth, his face like a ghost's.

    I sighed inwardly in relief. Thank the gods, he understood. Maybe now he could get Chiron alone and talk over it with him, and then take care of Mrs. Dodds quietly without Percy ever getting pulled away from the main group. And maybe I was also far too optimistic about my future-changing abilities. Yeah, the latter option was far more likely. Still, though, if it meant keeping Percy safer, this was the far better option. Hell, if his status as son of Poseidon was kept secret longer, Hades might not even send the Minotaur after them -- Percy's mom might not be captured!

    Or I could fail altogether.

    Yeah, there was also that very high possibility. I very sincerely hoped Murphy's Law did not pride itself on being a large playing factor in this world.

    ~o~​

    Spoiler alert: It did pride itself on that, apparently. And very, very highly so at that.

    Percy failed on Chiron's pop quiz as expected. I took pity on him and covered for him, answering the question about the origin of the gods with flying colors. Chiron's eyes were on me the whole tour; Grover had evidently warned him about me yesterday, and he hadn't had any time to update his opinion to the wheelchair bound centaur. Therefore, the grizzled half-man trusted me even less than Grover had before my talk with him.

    A very sarcastic thanks to you, Grover.

    The head of Camp Half-Blood was definitely a very cool dude. I could easily see why Percy liked him so much. He was kind and gentle, handling each of the Yancy Academy students with warm care as one might expect a grandfather to do with his grandchildren. Percy was also right about the constant smell of coffee that hung around Chiron omnipresently. One could smell it even from ten feet away. At least it was that, though, and not smoke. I could handle the somewhat pleasant aroma of coffee, but if it had been smoke, I would've likely stayed as far away from the centaur as possible. Nothing against smokers; I just did notwant that stink on my clothes.

    Ahem.

    After some time, we went on a break from the tour so that we could get lunch, and my stomach growled in delight. I dug around in my pockets desperately, hoping beyond hope that the girl version of me had money on her, and -- relief. I pulled out a twenty. Oh, sweet, greasy hamburgers, come to daddy! Er... mommy? Okay, you know what, no. I am never saying that again. That's just... too weird.

    I ordered some food from the museum cafeteria. I hadn't even realized that the museum had had a cafeteria, but I wasn't questioning it. While everyone else dug into their packed lunches that they'd brought, the cheap saps, I chowed down on a very tasty crispy chicken salad. Yum. While I ate, I walked back out the museum to regroup with the other students, and sat down next to Percy on the fountain.

    Percy grinned. "You know, I sat here to avoid contact with other life-forms."

    "Earthling, I am here to steal your sandwich," I snarked back, taking another bite of my salad. He smirked back, patting the edge of the fountain next to him. An obvious invitation to scoot closer; I'd sat down about five feet from him.

    I scooted closer.

    "You wouldn't want my sandwich," Percy told me, unwrapping it and showing me the contents. "Corned beef."

    I wrinkled my nose. "Yuck. You're right, I'll pass on that." I looked past him to his other side. Grover was nowhere to be found. "So, Pinky, where's The Brain?"

    Percy rolled his eyes. "Grover wanted to talk with Mr. Brunner about something. They're in the museum. I don't know where, though."

    I raised my eyebrow at that. I almost asked who Mr. Brunner was, before remembering this was Chiron's stage name, so to say. So Grover was actually convincing Chiron about things. They must've re-entered the museum while I'd been ordering my food, though -- I hadn't seen them come in. I looked up at the sky. It looked like a mother of all storms was gonna brew up soon -- damn war between gods. Thinking things over while I ate my salad, I asked him, "So, then, ever read Harry Potter?"

    "You think I could read that?" The kid snorted. "Nah, man, I'm dyslexic."

    Oh, right, I'd forgotten about that. Man, that would suck. That was another point towards me being a human, though: I'd definitely been able to read all words and lettering I'd come across so far. No headaches or dancing letters at all. Things were not looking up for my chances of survival in this world. I sighed and leaned back as far as I could without falling into the fountain.

    "Man, that sucks. You'd probably love it. The main character is kinda like you, actually. He has black hair and green eyes and everything."

    "You don't say?" Percy hummed, moving to take a bite of his lunch.

    And that was when I felt sloppy, messy spaghetti splatter all over my pants. I gasped in surprise and anger. I stood up so quickly I almost fell backwards into the fountain, and stared furiously at the perpetrator as noodles and sauce slowly slipped off of my pants. "Nancy!" I snarled, setting my plastic bowl of salad on the floor. I stabbed the fork I'd been given by the nice cash register lady in the middle, and stomped forward until I was inches from her face. "Really!?"

    "Oops," said Nancy. She grinned a mouthful of braces and annoying self-pleasure.

    I saw Percy shaking with anger out of the corner of my eye. I gulped and looked behind me. The water was starting to swirl unnaturally. I glanced back to Mrs. Dodds, who was standing near the Metropolitan Museum of Art's front doors, and who was watching our group carefully. Then I turned back to Nancy and narrowed my eyes.

    Okay. I had two options here -- let Percy wash her out, or deck her in the face and stop him from getting attacked by Mrs. Dodds. I knew that from how she'd been looking at me all day, the Fury was very likely to attack me instead if I chose the latter.

    I sighed. Gods, my life was screwed.

    I punched Nancy Bobofit in the face.
     
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    • GreyDragon0 said:
    YES!!! Butterflies everywhere!!!!
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    *grins* One thing you'll notice with my fanfictions: canon plotlines tend to be derailed. A lot. Especially later on down the line, and even more so with my self-inserts. So keep on the edge of your seat and continue munching on that popcorn, because there'll be butterflies out the wazoo.
     
    Malbutorius said:
    Dem young lass hormones are a real bitch! Glad you took the cathartic route!

    Also, you SI is not being remotely subtle. Like, holy hell she's not subtle in the slightest. Then again, she's still more subtle then fucking Charon.
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    Heheh, yeah, I suck at subtelty. It's kind of on the verge of being a fatal flaw, but not quite. Eve's fatal flaw isn't that. It's something entirely different, and which will come up rather frequently.
     
    Remove ads
    She looks kind of disproportionate, which is a critique of your art skills, and her expression looks a a bit on the psychopathic side. Also the hands look weird, but really drawing hands is ridiculously hard and a ton of artists resort to freaking mitten hands.

    EDIT: Otherwise? It's actually pretty good, better than I'd ever be able to draw.
     
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    Malbutorius said:
    She looks kind of disproportionate, which is a critique of your art skills, and her expression looks a a bit on the psychopathic side. Also the hands look weird, but really drawing hands is ridiculously hard and a ton of artists resort to freaking mitten hands.
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    Oh, no, I recognize that I'm not quite good at getting the proportions right, yet. And yeah, I really did make the hands way too small, but hands in general are the one thing (er, two things?) I'm just really having trouble with right now. I wasn't aware that she looked psychopathic, though. XD I thought it was more of a cool smirk than that, but whoops.

    I only really just started drawing a month ago, and before that I was only doing stick figures, so that's why it looks a bit weird.
     
    TheRealEvanSG said:
    Oh, no, I recognize that I'm not quite good at getting the proportions right, yet. And yeah, I really did make the hands way too small, but hands in general are the one thing (er, two things?) I'm just really having trouble with right now. I wasn't aware that she looked psychopathic, though. XD I thought it was more of a cool smirk than that, but whoops.

    I only really just started drawing a month ago, and before that I was only doing stick figures, so that's why it looks a bit weird.
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    Well! You know what they say!



    And you are definitely kind of sort of good at drawing.
     
    Malbutorius said:
    Well! You know what they say!



    And you are definitely kind of sort of good at drawing.
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    You quote Adventure Time. Congratulations, you are now my friend.

    Joking aside, yeah, I've been very pleased with how far I've come since graduating from stick figures. I still have a long way to go, though. Backgrounds scare the crap out of me.
     
    I like it so far, I wonder what it'll lead to. It's safe to say you've got my attention.
     
    TheRealEvanSG said:
    You quote Adventure Time. Congratulations, you are now my friend.

    Joking aside, yeah, I've been very pleased with how far I've come since graduating from stick figures. I still have a long way to go, though. Backgrounds scare the crap out of me.
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    What can I say? It's a great show. Watch Bob Ross videos to learn about making backgrounds is what I'd suggest personally, they're amazing.
     
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