With little ado.
There's a place for us in Heaven
Lord you know I'm on my way
There's a place for us in Heaven
Lord, I'm on my way
Something Ends, Something Begins
"I just wanted to help some Guardians out. Guy can't do that? I thought this was a new Golden Age. Be kind to each other, am I right?", - Aethon-1 smiles, all sharp edges of polished iron, and flips a strange coin in his claws. It could look whimsical or even charming, but his eyes are dull red, gleaming like dying coals in ash, making him almost starving. As if a pyre is going out inside his chest, grasping for the last splinters of kindling it can reach.
Starhorse cares not, of course. It simply neighs in an infuriatingly haughty way, shaking its head a little. Still, it's not a refusal. An invitation to haggle, perhaps. Above all, it's a showman - showequine? - with impeccable style and business sense, and thus always on the lookout to make its show a tad more interesting.
Aethon-1 flourishes both of his hands in some complicated gesture - for isn't he a magician of a sort? - and flips three strange coins instead of one.
"Aha!".
Starhorse snorts and strikes the floor with its hooves.
"Deal, then".
It's six of them, all eager for some game. Loot has been scarce lately in Sol, with most interesting things finally dead. So it's either deep space, weeks and months of emptiness and warp between long dead worlds, where the only prize is dust and crumbling bones. Or Dares of Eternity.
Paraverse is vast, and there's no shortage of enemies old and new.
Some say it's just laziness, some say it's just base bloodlust.
Some can shove their opinions where the Sun doesn't shine.
Because anyone whose opinion matters knows - after the Flower game came to an end, this is the best gamble in the entire paraverse, with stakes to match.
It's six of them, armed to the teeth, stepping out of the portal, Xur's words a strange burr in their comms.
"What is surviving tonight's Dares of Eternity?".
"Ugh. I hate this thing", rumbles Feathers-3, his armor black-red and gleaming under the harsh white sun of the arena. Sweet Business purrs in his thick fingers.
"It's because you are an uncultured swine", Zann Zh'err flashes him her knives in lieu of a smile, her cloak a streak of blue in monochromatic hell.
Othis-7 and Sandro simply fan out, their Dead Man's Tales scanning crystalline sands and the sharp cut of the horizon.
"Charming", drones dr. Bones, twirling Lumina in his fingers while Solar Light dances around his head like a crown of deadly fireflies.
"Man, you are all nuts", Thumper laughs, Vexcalibur held easily and stance relaxed. "It's just a damn game. Some forgotten Vex collective from an ass end of nowhere or a gaggle of desperate Fallen dropped in here for slaughter. Be cool, be quick, and most of all, give the audience a damn show. Blood on the sand, ya know?".
There's a rumble and a vertigo-inducing twist of reality that ends as fast as it has started.
And there's no sand. No sun. No strange geometric shapes on the horizon. Just dusty corridors gleaming with aetherial white.
"Where reality is made up and your repeated deaths do not matter", Xur drones and falls silent.
"You fucking jinxed us, you moron", hisses Zann, her knives foregone for a Dead Weight, her filed teeth nicking her scarred lips under her Mask.
Thumper's helm is an unreadable visage of an electric skull, and his stance is no longer relaxed.
"Doesn't look like one of the arenas", Sandro clicks his tongue in contemplation.
"No shit Sherlock, it's fucking corridors of time", Feathers-3 spins the Business as fast as it goes. "Hate this place".
"Cut the chatter", dr. Bones puts away his Lumina and draws a Wayfinder's compass, it's gems twirling like mad. "I'll try to locate the exit".
He spends minutes fiddling with the thing, but to no avail - its circuits do not align, and no path lights up for them to follow.
"Damn".
"Some warlock you are".
"If you perchance think you can do better, be my fucking guest".
A tall exo in warlock garb - long black overcoat with sharp-looking lapels and - are those frills? - a sharp-toothed grin steps out of a junction, whistling something silly. His helmet is missing, and so are his weapons. Like an evening stroll in the City itself.
It's jarring enough to make the whole group pause in their bickering, and stare down their guest with some unfriendly pointed barrels.
"Oh, hah", his tone is surprised but jovial. "Living beings! Who are not Vex. You are not Vex, right?"
"A comedian. How charming. What's next? Clowns?", Zann's tone is biting, but her shotgun is looking into the dusty stone floor.
"I hate clowns", shudders Feathers-3, cradling his Business.
"Good thing I'm not one then", exo slides aside spinning barrels, eyeing the simpering titan with wary amusement "Aethon-1, at your service. Are you lost?"
"Sort of", dr. Bones chuckles. "Nothing desperate, but our arrival here was a bit surprising. No one goes to this place anymore, and certainly not us".
"Shame, really. Corridors are confusing, sure, but it's a wonderful puzzle to tinker with".
"If one has an overabundance of free time, perhaps. We do not", dr. Bones sounds sour. Warlocks and their petty grievances. Zann simply shrugs and claps their new friend on the shoulder.
"It's fascinating and all, but do you mind showing us the nearest exit, old pal? I'm dying to get out of this trap?".
"Oh, sure. Here, oh sister mine, *let me*".
The horror ripples through the group like a crash-wave, raising gun and blade and spell alike, but it's too little too late, for the jaws of Anthem Anatheme have already snapped shut.
With a final click, reality wavers and collapses, and corridors are silent and empty again.
"Wish granted".
Somewhere, somewhen, Xur rouses spectators from across the paraverse into an eager frenzy.
Sweet Business spins and roars and stone chips and bursts apart in a shower of of sparks.
A man steps onto the sand and a hand rises to meet him, blade flashing in the dying sunlight. He's too fast, and his Lumina barks once and twice.
A man steps onto the sand and a hand rises to meet him, heavy revolver glinting in the dying sunlight. He's too fast.
A man steps onto the sand.
A man steps and dies before his foot lands on the sand, his blood hot and red on the claws of his killer. His Ghost screams and swipes aside, but is caught in the cage of green light and death.
Sweet Business spins and roars and stone chips and bursts apart in a shower of of sparks.
Twins raise their Dead Man's Tales, their rapport quick and easy, and arrows rain on them from above, pinning their still twitching bodies to old red stone. Their Ghosts flash together, blinking left and right, weaving between arrows and grasping strands, and twins are back, gasping for non-existent breath. Grabbing for their swords, they dodge in different directions, eyes searching for their quarry.
Twins raise their Dead Man's Tales, their rapport quick and easy, and arrows rain on them from above. Their Ghosts flash together, caught like flies in the amber of a void burst. Their death is silent.
Sweet Business spins and roars and stone chips.
Thumper's helm is an unreadable visage of an electric skull, dull and silent, lying in a pool of dark blood. His Ghost roars, caught in a clawed hand, before bursting apart in a shower of sparks.
Sweet Business spins.
An image flashes, pasty-white, its smile and eyes slashes of vivid red.
"I hate clowns", shudders Feathers-3 and dies, a glaive cutting through his armor and engine, his Business falling from slacking fingers. His Ghost vanishes in a grim retreat.
A glaive cuts through his armor, its return swing clipping his Ghost as it flashes real for a single moment over the falling body. It has no second chance to flee.
Zann's shotgun roars and her quarry dies in a shower of flashing sparks and zing of torn metal.
Zann's shotgun roars and.
Zann's shotgun roars.
Zann's damned shotgun gets a Malfeasance shot right up its barrel and explodes. Her knives spin and find their targets in exo's eye sockets. He dies with a scream.
Her knives spin and slash frigid dusty air. She curses and dodges left, her side barely grazed by a curved black blade.
She curses and tries to dodge left, her guts spilled by a curved black blade. She dies with a curse, and so does her Ghost, its end and unremarkable blast of Malfeasance.
For a moment, endless and fractured, everything is still in corridors of time.
Then, the roar of ghostly crowd and frenzied neigh of Astral equine.
"Hah ha. That there, that's some… sweet business."
Aethon-1 creaks his abused spine and steps through, reality waving and splitting around him.
Then, six of them, armed to the teeth, step out of the portal, Xur's words a strange burr in their comms.
"Put simply, can you deal or no deal with tonight's Dares of Eternity?"
For a moment that stretches on and on a strange feeling passes over them. Like a deja vu. Like a death's whisper behind their necks.
Like five complete strangers surround each of them, their armor and weapons and eyes and smiles all wrong, wrong, wrong. But then it passes too.
"It's just a damn game", Thumper laughs.
Somewhere else Aethon-1 steps through the void, his abused metal groaning and his teeth stained with sweet, sweet tribute.
His engine thumps in his chest like it's trying to run away.
Lately, the world has grown too bright. Lately, the shadows have become scarce. Lately, he had gone hungry for far too long.
But this, this was the best gamble in the entire paraverse, with stakes to match, and he was having a blast.
Because Darkness always finds a way.