Tutel yawned as he slipped out of his hammock, tied between two pipes in the old warehouse the Bokos made their home in. He picked up his bident and used it to stretch his arms and torso, removing the annoying constrictions still in his back. "Gonna need to tighten the ropes on that." He mumbled to himself, securing his bident on his back as he went into the kitchen. On the center table was a bottle full of green liquid with his name on it. "Huh, Pierce kept his promise. Gotta admit, that's a rarity."
He pocketed the potion and went into the main floor of the warehouse, finding Pierce lounging on his throne in a state that could only charitably be called 'awake'. "You know, you'll have more back problems than me if you keep sleeping on that scrap heap!" Tutel called up towards his leader.
Pierce responded with a raised middle finger, rubbing his head with his other hand. "Long night coming up with the plan."
Tutel frowned. "Are you sure about this? Anything big, our heads will roll."
"Relax," Pierce said, pulling something from a box on the side of his throne. "You think anyone is going to give us more than a couple of days over a whoopie cushion?"
In Pierce's hand was, indeed, a classic square whoopie cushion with the Bokos' logo and name crudely drawn on the rubber. "A whoopie cushion."
"Yep."
"You want us," Tutel waved his arms around at the warehouse. "To play the most singularly juvenile of pranks. At the Alignment Festival."
"Ah ah ah." Pierce wagged a finger, smiling. "Not just 'at' the Festival. On the head honchos of everything!"
"The Matriarch."
"Yep."
"The Premiere."
"Uh huh."
"All of them?"
Pierce clapped his hands, causing the whoopie cushion to expel. "All of them!" He hopped down from his throne, tossing the prank behind him. "It's simplicity itself!" He said, wrapping an arm around Tutel. "In 50,000 years at the next Alignment, the whole galaxy will still remember the precocious gang of pranksters who dared to get everyone laughing at the snobs running the show!"
He pulled Tutel in close. "Think about it. No one will be hurt, besides their pride. And it will prove that we are worth something!" Pierce gave Tutel a little shake. "Wouldn't it be nice if they offer us some 'community service' shoring up security after we get out?"
"Why the hell would they do that?" Tutel asked incredulously.
Pierce sighed in aggravation. "Because to do this, we'll need to get through everything they have set up. And since we won't hurt anyone, they'll ask advice to fix things. Duh!" He leaned in closer to whisper in Tutel's ear. "And if a couple of azures get that kind of respect…"
Tutel stopped, then smiled. "That is why you started the Bokos." He admitted while nodding.
"Exactly!" Pierce let Tutel go and spun his way back to his throne. "We do this and every blue mage in the galaxy will be looked at differently!" He pulled a notebook from under his pillow when Wedge, Biggs, and Poh walked in. "Okay, I've got the plan right here. Poh, you'll be in charge of keeping the idiots on task."
"Yes sir." Poh saluted. "And does that include Tutel Pot-Breaker?"
"Hey!"
Pierced barked a laugh. "Especially him!" He sat down at the foot of his throne and opened the notebook. "Alright, here's what we are going to do…"
++++
The four Bokos made their way through the sewers beneath the festival grounds. Poh held up a hand to stop the others, then pointed down the drainage way. They heard rustling, water dispersing by a larger object. "We got monsters." Poh nodded to Tutel, who drew the bident off his back and crept along the passage.
Crawling along their bellies, large tails gently splashing against the water, where reptilian creatures with elongated necks. "Mini-Draks." Tutel mumbled to himself, holding up four fingers to those behind him, then clenching his fist twice. They moved in, readying their weapons, and together they pounced on the monsters. The largest of the Mini-Draks raised its head and spewed forth a torrent of glistening white smoke.
Tutel dodged out of the way, then made eye contact with the monster. He felt his eyes begin to glow, the Mini-Drak shaking its head in a confused vertigo. Tutel thrust his palms forward with a cry "Frostbite!". From his hands, a matching torrent of smoke came forth and enveloped the monster. He felt the cold of his attack seeping into his fingers the longer he kept the spray going.
Quickly becoming exhausted, Tutel rushed forward and jammed his bident down the Mini-Drak's throat before it could unleash another wave.. He flung the monster to the side, letting the others stab it to death as soon as they finished with the smaller ones. "You okay man?" Wedge asked, then looked down at Tutel's fingers. "Shit."
Tutel cringed and shakingly reached into his pocket, pulling out the Hi-Potion. With his teeth, he pulled the lid off and then chugged the healing drink. Immediately he felt the numbness of his fingers fade away. "That will do. Come on, we still have a job to do. Poh?"
Poh stepped forward and looked around, then up. "Here's our junction." He stepped back to let Wedge and Biggs form a tower to open the latch in the ceiling. Poh then climbed onto the tower and gently opened the latch enough to see, the other two starting a slow sway underneath her. "Okay, two guards. Me and Biggs will handle them while Wedge gets the door." Opening the latch further, Poh climbed out and put a hand down for Biggs to climb with. The two snuck up behind the guards and choked them out.
Tutel stuck his bident into the latch, holding it open and giving Wedge a boost to get through. Wedge then opened it all the way so Tutel could jump to the ledge and pull himself out, then rushed to the door of the building and pulled out a device. Hooking it into the security lock, Wedge opened the door. Biggs wired the communicator on one of the fallen guards into one of his own, the light on it turning orange. "Okay, I got their frequency." Biggs said proudly. "As long as we stay close together, any guards we might run across can't call for backup."
Tutel nodded and slowly entered through the door, the others behind him. There were many guards, but the few that did catch them were both no match for the team and were unable to have reinforcements. Eventually they made their way to the dignitary booth, currently with its curtains closed. Tutel snapped his fingers and Poh pulled out the whoopie cushions. "Alright, one for each of the big chairs...maybe two for the Matriarch." Tutel said, looking at the much larger throne of the religious leader.
As they gently placed the cushions in the chairs and covered them, Bigg's device began to buzz. He pulled it off his hip and noticed it was flashing between orange and green. "We gotta move! They're starting to get around the scramble!"
Tutel placed the seat of the Matriarch's throne back on and the four raced out of the building and back into the sewers. High fives were passed around as they celebrated their mission. "Okay, Pierce said to enjoy the festival. The big wigs won't be pranked till the fireworks are set to go off." Poh said, leading them out of the sewers by way of a maintenance tunnel. "Just make sure to be at the ceremony so we can take our bow!" Poh took Wedge's hand and the two ran off towards the lights of the festival.
Biggs looked at Tutel, who crossed his arms with a raised eyebrow. "I am not holding your hand." The two chuckled and followed after the couple, enjoying one of the few times they can see the sky without being on a job. Games, dancers, puppet shows, everything was very archaic to Tutel but it was meant to be. Some sort of hold over from the days before the last Alignment.
"Ooh, a battle arena!" Biggs rushed over to a circle with a fence, a barker standing in front of it.
"Who thinks they have the might to take on the toughest in the galaxy?" He asked and the crowd cheered, a few folks even stepping forward. One of them, a very muscular viera woman, was thrown out of the ring by her opponent almost as soon as the bell rang. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt!" His eyes locked with Tutel's bident. "You sir! You look like you've been in a few scraps. Wanna try?"
Biggs nudged Tutel from behind, who shrugged and got into the ring, pulling off his bident and readied himself. First, a couple of off-duty officers armed with stun batons were sent flying by Tutel's bident, then he stabbed down on small monsters like Flans, flinging them at some Colibris. "Tutel turned and smirked at the barker. "Don't tell me that's all you have?" The ground shook as something landed in the arena opposite of him. Tutel turned and then looked up.
And up.
A large, stone man cracked his knuckles as he stared down at Tutel with a glare on his blocky face. "Okay… that's good." The golem made the first move, bringing his fist down towards Tutel's head. The blue mage rolled out of the way, but was struck in awe by the cracks that formed from the golem's impact. "Yeah, can't copy that." The golem lifted a leg to stop down, and Tutel swung his bident at the opposite leg, swinging around the trunk to grab the pole at two points.
Tutel twisted himself to jump forward, moving the leg enough that when the stomp came down, the golem lost his balance and toppled over. Tutel flipped onto the golem's back and hit him in the back of the head with the blunt end of his bident. The golem tapped out, knowing that a real fight would have left him dead.
Tutel jumped off and basked in the cheering crowd. He smirked and spun his bident in his hands, then around his neck and letting it rest across his shoulders, his arms casually draped over the pole. "Thank you, thank you! You are such a kind audience!" He called out to them as he exited the ring, giving the golem he beat a thumbs up, which was half-heartedly returned. "Well that was fun. What else they got?"
Biggs looked around. "Hmm, looks like they got some Rift Horde tables."
"I don't have a deck." Tutel admitted, then blinked when Biggs held one out in his palm. "Biggs?"
"Look, I suck at it okay!" Biggs said with a pout. Tutel rolled his eyes and took the deck, walking over to a table short of a person.
The host of the table smiled like a shark. "Well, I was wondering if any were going to try." He tossed a four sided pyramid in his hand. "I assume you know the rules."
Tutel almost responded with a similar smile as he sat down. "Well, my big sister wanted to teach me but never got around to it. So take it easy on the new guy."
The host didn't stop smiling for a second, he fell for it. "Sure thing kid. First we pay our entry fee, mine's covered by the festival, and I roll this die." He held up the pyramid. "See the icons on it? That determines what icon on the card we are measuring against each other." He rolled it and one of the sides had a circle with a five-pointed curved star inside at the top and fully upright. "See, that says we are playing with Magic. Now place your deck down and draw four cards."
Everyone did so. "See at the bottom that you have three boxes. A sword, a shield, and the star I just rolled? Those are Power, Stamina, and Magic." The host placed one of his cards in his hand face down in front of him. "Now you do what I just did, and starting from my left we bet on if we think we won." The person to the host's left only put in a single gil chip, to which Tutel matched, and so did the nervous looking woman next him. "Now flip your cards over."
They did so, Tutel having a Shiva with nine while the others had a six, four, and eight. The host blinked in surprise. "Huh, looks like you win this round kid. Not bad for a beginner, but luck isn't everything."
Tutel's mouth became a small smirk. "We'll see. Last man standing right?" The host and other players looked confused. A few turns later and they were yelling as Tutel walked back to Biggs with more money in his pocket than he started, the table having none.
"You done with the card shark thing? The ceremony is about to start." Biggs ran ahead, leaving Tutel to wander through the alleys to the grounds at his own pace.
*Pfft*
Tutel looked down where he stepped, slowly raising a foot. There, with his shoe print clearly on it, was a whoopie cushion. A whoopie cushion with the Bokos logo crudely drawn on it. "Looks like they checked the seats. One of us must not have put them back well." He scratched the back of his head. "Man Pierce is gonna be disappointed."
He shrugged and continued on his way, joining the crowd in front of the dignitary pavilion waiting for the curtains to open. A child started crying and he looked to his right, a girl being held by her mother was reaching down towards the ground. Tutel looked down and saw a Cait Sith doll. He picked it up and held it out to the child. "Oh, than-" The mother's smile dropped as soon as she saw Tutel's eyes, and held her child tighter as they walked away without the doll.
"Yeah." He stuffed the doll into a pocket. "Might be worth a couple gil at a pawn."
Trumpets blared. The curtains pulled back, and the dignitaries from the five major factions of the galaxy arrived, standing before their respective thrones. The Premiere of the Galactic Allied Confederacy, a pompous looking man with a large mustache. The king of the Arkklan, a woman dressed in furs and light armor. An aged person who seemed androgynous from the Phenex Consortium. The current chair of the Unaligned Council from the disparate systems, a nervous looking man.
And finally the Matriarch of the Order of the Stars. Technically head of the religion worshipping the Astrals and ruler of Tresiana and the Ramuh system, she was a matronly woman who's motherly smile did not reach her eyes. She stepped in front of her grandiose throne and addressed the crowd. "Thank you all for joining us today. Today we forget our strife and conflicts with each other," The Premiere shifted awkwardly in his seat. "And enjoy a time of unity and celebration. 50,000 years ago, we wished to know we are not alone and the Astrals granted us all the ability to join the stars and meet."
She spread her arms wide. "And now, as the Astrals begin their alignment again, we celebrate and pray that our wishes be granted!" The crowd cheered and the dignitaries clapped politely. The Matriarch sat in her throne as the fireworks above the festival began.
But the first large explosion did not come from the sky.
The dignitary booth became engulfed in a flaming shockwave, one that sent much of the crowd flying backwards. Tutel hit the ground on his back, but he could feel that his face was bleeding above his eye. His ears rung like cathedral bells and he could hear the crying screams of the people as if from a distant tunnel.
Tutel pulled himself to his feet, and shook his head. Shrieking laughter surrounded him. All around him were floating balls of flame. "Bombs?" He blinked, then readied his bident. "Bombs!" He raced through the explosive monsters, finding more all around as well as monsters of various kinds.
"Help! We need help!" Tutel raced towards the cry, finding a girl in priestess robes attempting to lift a fallen pillar off of someone. "Please, they're trapped!" Tutel looked down and froze, his pocket feeling heavy. It was the mother and the child from earlier.
He reached down and helped the priestess lift the pillar off of them. "Come on, come on!" Don't give up on me!" He begged as he held the mother's head. She mouthed something but the words would not come out. The mother reached over to her eerily silent child, as choked sobs escaped her throat. She turned her eyes back to Tutel and gently prodded his face. "No, no, no!" Unconsciously, he felt his eyes light up.
Love.
Fear.
Worry.
...Nothing.
"We can't do anything for them now." The priestess grabbed his arm, pulling a trumpet off her hip. "We have to move before the monsters overwhelm us."
Tutel nodded. "Right… I know somewhere safe. In the under-city." The girl tensed her grip, before relaxing as she nodded. Tutel led her away and into a maintenance shaft. "I'm Tutel, by the way."
"Crystallia." The girl admitted nervously. "...I'm the Matriarch's daughter."
"Oh."