Fear The Femboy (FGO Berserker Astolfo Demi-Servant SI)

[Young Pyromancer]

Chapter 1: Sanity is for Losers!

Atop a snowy mountain, in a cave of darkness, a monster lurked.

It huddled against the cold, mind hazy from its long hibernation, but the unmistakable sound of an intruder was slowly rousing it. The beast opened its maw to let out a foreboding cry, warning all of the terrible consequences of gathering its ire.

"Mgmmmpffhhh."

Unfortunately, the ignorant intruder took no heed of the monster's magnanimous warning, and moved up to the flank of the beast.

"Brother," the intruder spoke.

The beast ignored them.

"Brother, you need to get up."

The beast's throat rumbled.

The intruder was silenced for a moment. Then-

"Brother. If you do not get up, the cafeteria will finish serving breakfast, and you will be hungry for the rest of the day. Additionally, the Director will be angry with you."

The monster squirmed at these words. Eventually, the blanket enclosing it was pushed back, revealing a human head, eyes blinking at the light. My head. " 'M gettin' up…"


* * *

It took me about fifteen minutes to wake up. By that time, my sister and I were halfway to the cafeteria. For being in the middle of nowhere, Chaldea's cafeteria food was surprisingly decent. At least, I thought it was. Kind of hard to remember anything to compare it to though at this point. Still, it had meat! …Sometimes! And eggs! I mean, that wasn't a high bar, but then again, literal snowy mountain.

Today, it looked like the food was even better than normal. They actually had proper maple syrup this time, instead of those little cup thingies that tasted like some idiot soaked a maple leaf in a jar of water. Which I had definitely never tried. Nope.

Anyway, there was also hash browns, which I cut in line to grab, and a little granola station. I loaded up, then wandered off to find a spot to sit while Mash waited in line properly like the good older sister she was. I considered spinning in a circle and pointing at a random table, but last time I had tried that I had spilled everything, so I decided not to.

Eventually I spotted the perfect spot. It was an almost empty table, with just one girl occupying it, reading a book as she ate. I made my way over, dancing around various tables and people alike, before smoothly plopping into the seat opposite her and clacking my tray down. "So… what'cha reading?"

She ignored me, as usual.

"Hiiiiinnaaaaakoooooo."

She turned the page.

"Hi-neko. Get it? Because you're a cat!"

She refused to give me any attention. Stupid cat.

I huffed, then looked around. Ah, there! Amidst the sea of magi and technicians, an eggplant stood, looking lost. I gesticulated violently in her general direction with both my arms. Mash seemed to spot me, so I turned my attention back to the 'puss-in-books' in front of me. …Eh, that didn't really work that well. Too many stages of association.

"C'moooooooooonnnnn. You're the one holding my contract right now. Should a Master really just ignore their Servant like this?"

That was a pretty good argument. Unfortunately, I'd used it before.

"…"

I huffed again as Mash arrived, then began eating my food. She took a seat next to me.

"So, you excited? Today's the big day!" My sister looked up from her waffle, which she had been meticulously slicing into evenly sized portions.

"Ah, um, yes. I'm honored to be one of the first humans in history to undergo a Rayshift."

HMMMMMMMMMMM. I stared. She fidgeted with her waffle.

Hinako Akuta turned a page.

…

Instantly I sprang into motion-- my foot lashed backward, sending my chair clattering to the ground. I ducked down to lunge under the table, diving directly toward my nominal Master's legs. Her reaction was nearly as fast-- one leg twisted and kicked her chair off to the side, while her other leg launched her away…

"A-HA!" From under the table, a strange sound was emitted. For victory was mine! With her springing backward, the table was no longer covering the title of her-

Wait. The title was in Chinese?! THAT--!!! "No faaair!" I slunk backwards out from under the table, setting my chair back upright. Mash was staring at me, but quickly focused back on her waffle again.

I almost missed the small smirk on Hinako's face. Worth it.

* * *

Most people tended to find the young director of Chaldea, Olga Marie Animusphere, rather intimidating. However, I wasn't exactly normal. Shocker, I know. So our dynamic tended to go a little more like this:

I reported to the briefing room early, because I was instructed to, and because I didn't have much else to do right then. The door slid open, and I was met with the director's determined face. "Yo."

She bristled at the informality, but didn't act on it. Instead, she stared at her hands. "Demi-Servant Berserker. I expect you to comport yourself appropriately during today's briefing." Her hands shuffled. "I understand this may be difficult, given your… condition. However, I hope you understand the importance of today's mission, and the need to set an example…"

"Are you reading off of note cards?"

"Ghk!" At the unexpected observation, the director stumbled back, fumbling with the small pieces of paper hidden in her hands. "S- so what if I am?! I have enough to keep track of already! Using something like this is simply a sign of my forethought as a leader!"

"Just curious," I said, grinning.

Olga took a deep breath, then seemed to remember who she was talking to. She tensed again, eyes nervously flicking between me and her note cards. I decided to help her out.

"Don't worry, Director. I'll enter and leave on cue. For the rest, you just want me to look fierce, right? …Wellll, my cuteness might get in the way of that, but I can try!"

"T- that'll have to do. Now, get in the closet."

I got in the closet, then shut the door. Amidst the darkness, I came to a realization.

"...Is this a metaphor?"

* * *

AN: Starting a new story here, though it's been an idea I've had for ages. This isn't really a crackfic, even though things might seem like it sometimes. The main character being Berserker Astolfo makes things a bit kooky, you know? Also, the SI here has Fate knowledge, but not FGO specifically beyond 'oh yeah, there was some sort of Gacha Game, wasn't there.'

This story will be posted on both SV and SB. I have a preference for the former, so if you already use both, I'd prefer it if you read it there.

AN2: Someone has said they don't really get the point of this being an SI. The main reason is I have an EMIYA joke I want to use that kind of requires it. It's like 25% of my motivation for this fic, so it would suck if I couldn't use it.

 

[Young Pyromancer]

Chapter 2: Benevolent Kidnapping and Not-So-Benevolent Traitor-ing

I waited in the closet until my 'Chaldean Communicator' (which was what they called smartphones in order to trick the more traditional magi into accepting them) buzzed. In response, I slammed open the door, startling one of the Master Candidates out of her half-sleeping state. Hmm. That wouldn't do! I designated the red-haired girl as a target.

I took advantage of my Demi-Servant speed, moving to the Director's side faster than the unaugmented eye could track. A violent whorl of wind followed in my wake, rushing past and nearly blowing away Olga Marie's small frame. I say nearly, because I snagged her shoulder and pulled her back to the ground. "Oops, sorry!" Wait. Right, I was supposed to be scary! "Ah! Um," I faced my audience, "I'm Potato Kyrielight, Demi-Servant Berserker. I host the spirit of Astolfo, Paladin of Charlemagne! Rawr!" I made a pouncing motion with my hands. "Fear me, mortals! Bwa-ha-ha!"

Several of the Master Candidates flushed, and one even fainted. Oh no! Had I gone too far? I knew some of the researchers got jumpy when I moved quickly around them. I turned quickly to the director, worry on my face, but she seemed to be upset too. Her face was pale, eyes wide, and as I looked, she swallowed. Quick, I needed to think! How could I fix things?!

I could apologize- but that'd be going too far in the opposite direction. I needed to maintain a threatening aura, but calm people down… I needed to make sure they knew it wasn't directed at them! My gaze focused on my target, and I extended a finger imperiously. "You! Sleeping beauty!"

"M-me?" the redhead stammered.

"Yes, you!" I shouted. "You need to prioritize better! Missing an important briefing is bad. But it's worse to go on a mission while tired! This is the fate of the world we're talking about- do you really think anything less than your best will do?"

"I- uh." The Master Candidate glanced around for support, but found none. This must be one of the public recruits, then; a full-blooded Magus would know better than to expect others to stick their necks out for you.

I ran up to her, grabbing her arm, then began pulling her to the room's exit. "Oh, hi Mash." My sister was standing just next to the door. "Ah, brother, what are you…?"

"Making sure someone gets sleep, whether she wants it or not!"

Ignoring the redhead's protests, I used my enhanced strength to sling her over my shoulder and march her out the door.

* * *

After a minute or two, I realized I was being hasty. I had started ignoring the girl I kidnapped after she began pounding her fists on my back, but it seemed like she'd calmed down enough to be reasonable now. "So, where's your room?"

"I don't know. I just got here. Now, are you gonna let me down or what?!"

"Probably." I took one hand off my captive to rub my chin. "What's your candidate number?"

"And why should I tell you?!"

"So I can bring you to your room of course. I need to get you to sleep somewhere, remember? So I need you to tell me. Well, I suppose I can bring you to sleep in my room if you decide to be stubborn. You can use my bed, I don't mind."

"T-there's no need to go that far!" The redhead swallowed. "I'm, um, Number 48."

"One of the civilian candidates, then, like I thought. You must be finding this very confusing. Well, at least your training is helping you adjust."

"Training?"

That stopped me dead in my tracks. Metaphorically. In literal terms, I kept walking. "Wait, you're saying you didn't receive any training? What, did they just kidnap you with no explanation? …Ah, they probably did, didn't they? I suppose you might be that person, then…"

"That person? What do you mean?" She asked.

But I didn't explain my deduction. Instead, I came to a stop and set down my cargo. "Here we are! Your new home away from home." I pushed her forward. The door, detecting the presence of an authorized individual, whisked open… revealing a figure that was most certainly not supposed to be there: Doctor Romani Archaman, head of medical.

Well, none of my business! I skipped away, leaving the two to meet each other. I had to hurry, after all. The mission was starting soon!

* * *

An explosion. No, multiple. My magically enhanced body burst out of the metal container I had been in to prepare for deployment. I surveyed the scene, taking in the environment. The room was something straight out of hell: full of flames, screams of agony, and chunks of burning flesh. I needed to help. I looked for survivors and spotted something that made me freeze.

Mash!

My sister was trapped beneath a massive chunk of concrete fallen from the ceiling, her legs pinned beneath the rubble. She would have been getting into her Coffin last, after having helped inspect all the others. This wasn't supposed to happen! She was supposed to be safe! Someone like her was an obvious main character. She couldn't die at the beginning of the story…

Something was wrong. Not just here- the situation was very bad, yes, but something else. Something was wrong with me, too. I clutched a hand to my chest, then staggered. My legs were feeling weak. No, not my legs- I felt for my Master-Servant Bond, the thing that was indirectly hooking me into Chaldea's mana generators to keep my existence stable, and felt nothing. The familiar presence was gone, leaving me only my own mana reserves to sustain myself.

Perhaps in a different world I would have been fine. As a Demi-Servant, I was able to use my own natural mana to support the Heroic Spirit within me. However, Berserkers were the most mana intensive class, and I hadn't been prepared. I could feel my reserves plummeting rapidly, my Magic Circuits struggling to adjust to the sudden exertion.

I needed to move, establish a contract with someone. I took a hesitant step, then another, before my knees collapsed. My Circuits were burning up. White began encroaching on the edges of my vision. No no no no!

Distantly, my supernaturally acute senses heard the pounding of approaching footsteps over the crackling of flames. Two pairs. I hoped, prayed, that they'd be able to do something. In the meantime, I'd stall. I activated my second Noble Phantasm.

* * *

AN: The 'protagonist' makes her appearance.

Being a bit liberal with my interpretation of how Demi-Servants work, but I'm going to have to do that a lot because there's some things that aren't explained clearly. This chapter is based on the higher mana requirements of Berserkers, as well as Mash's zero energy cost in the game.

As for the ending, you're probably wondering 'what Noble Phantasm could possibly help in this situation? Activating a Noble Phantasm is like the most mana intensive thing a Servant can do!' And normally, you'd be right. As to what Noble Phantasm this is, all I'll say is it makes a ton of sense with the legend.

 

[Young Pyromancer]

Chapter 3: Invasive Species and Repairs

My second Noble Phantasm is awesome. It doesn't cause a ton of unwanted collateral damage, can be invoked very quickly, is so efficient I actually go net positive on mana while using it, and most importantly, is totally hilarious. Sure, it may not be a sword beam, (or a weapon at all really,) but it's quirky and I like it.

So, when confronted with a mana shortage, naturally I invoked it.

"Soudain Arbre!" The French words left my lips almost of their own accord. A potent curse latched onto me as my E Rank Anti-Self Noble Phantasm came into effect. My humanity was suppressed by the weight of legend. Reality redefined itself.

In the midst of the burning hellscape stood a tree.

Its limbs and knots twisted in awkward, almost unnatural ways. Leafless branches strained against the ceiling. Its roots barely penetrated the artificial floor. It lacked stability, swaying as a drunk sways on their way home from the bar.

I was this tree.

My senses were impaired, distorted. I could smell the light on my skin, taste the gritty minerals beneath my toes. My arms struggled for freedom as if trapped in by an itchy sweater. Not really, of course- it was just my mind trying to make sense of things. Someone else might've been driven insane by the alien perspective. Fortunately for me, sanity wasn't an issue.

Some part of me sensed people arriving. Doctor Archaman and the redhead. She stopped to gawk at the scene, but the doctor took it in with a glance. He shouted something, looking at me, then rushed off again. It was hard to hear without ears.

Time passed. The fire wasn't spreading, which was good, as I was very much flammable at the moment. The redhead spotted my sister. They talked.

I wasn't doing well. My Noble Phantasm was reducing my mana consumption enough for me to sustain myself, yes, but it brought a whole new host of problems. The environment wasn't suited for trees. Besides the obvious fire, my roots weren't penetrating the ground properly. My weight was unstable, and I had to exert what limited control I had over my altered form in order to stay upright.

It was difficult to focus as a plant.

Eventually, I noticed that Mash and the redhead were gone. Had they left? The security shutters were closed. Wait, no, they were opening again. Romani Archaman came through, looking at me. He raised a hand, tattooed with Command Spells on the back. He placed it against my trunk.

"I've managed to restore one of the generators," he said. "It looks like the damage to the system caused an energy surge that forcibly broke your Master-Servant Bond. Potato. You need to form a contract with me."

He said the words. There was a moment of silence while I tried to remember how to deactivate my Noble Phantasm. Then, bark receded. My form emerged from the tree's trunk, wood drawing back into itself and then me like one of those party horns that you blow on and it sticks out before curling up again. I don't remember what those're called anymore.

Oh, right. Romani. I said my part, and the temporary contract was completed. The strain on my circuits eased.

I looked around at the ruined room.

"Well, I suppose I should get started."

* * *

For the next several hours, I worked. Supernatural strength was great at clearing rubble, and my durability meant I could resist heat well enough to deal with some particularly problematic fires. Romani stayed in the Command Room. Apparently, the redhead, Mash, and the Director had all wound up Rayshifting back in time to a spacetime snag called a 'Singularity'. Of course, that's what Chaldea had been trying to do in the first place, but this was decidedly less coordinated than we had originally intended. Romani had to stay put to watch their vitals for dumb quantum mechanics reasons.

While I was working, I tried to take an inventory of things. The vast majority of the staff was dead, though there were a few survivors that were helping with cleanup. A large portion of the facility- notably, the magi's personal laboratories and the catalyst storage- were rendered inaccessible. Not by rubble, though; rather, Chaldea's magical defenses had been forced to prioritize our portion of the facility, and even with one of the generators up again, expanding the wards to cover the exposed section meant letting in whatever triggered them in the first place, which seemed like a bad idea.

Or course, none of that was something I could verify. It was just what Da Vinci had said, and as a Caster-Class Servant, she was more qualified to know than I'd ever be. I took her word on it.

Eventually, things settled down a bit. I took a break to grab something to eat (emergency rations, as all the chefs were dead) with a couple of the other survivors. Two of them were leaning on each other, but the rest were sitting in the cafeteria alone. The room had a shell-shocked feel to it. These people weren't the Master Candidates. They hadn't signed up to risk their lives. They were scientists and technicians and researchers and engineers academics and Magi. Not fighters.

They all kept their distance from me. It was nothing new.

I got back to work.

* * *

After a day or two of my new routine, I heard some weird sounds coming from the Command Room. I went to check it out. Mash and redhead were back apparently, and it looked like Mash had finally activated her latent Demi-Servant powers, which was cool. Also, the Director was dead, which wasn't cool. Also also, the rest of the world was apparently on fire, which was hot instead of cool. It was a more dramatic disaster than I was expecting, to be honest, but it wasn't that out there, considering we had time travel to fix it. So the most interesting thing…

"Then, after Mash, Caster, and Fujimaru," which was the redhead's name, apparently, "finished off Saber, a mysterious figure came out of the shadows…"

"Lev, right?"

"It was Le- eh? How did you know?" Romani, the designated recapper, stared at me dumbfounded.

"I've been telling everyone Lev is totally evil for years. No one walks around smiling with their eyes closed all the time and isn't up to something. It's your fault for not believing me."

"That's… entirely fair." Romani sighed. "Look, now's not a good time. Why don't you go get some rest?"

Normally, I'd object to the obvious dismissal on principle, but it was obvious that both Mash and Fujimaru were taking this a whole lot worse than I was, so I just nodded and left. Still wasn't getting rest though. I had supernatural stamina. I could keep going for a while longer.

* * *

AN: Google says the NP translates to 'suddenly tree', which encapsulates the NP pretty well, I feel. I gave Berserker bad NPs on purpose to help stop combats from becoming beam clashes every time. The other one is bad in the opposite way. And yes, Astolfo really does get cursed to turn into a tree. It's actually how he shows up in the first place in the source material. It makes way more sense as his NP than something like cloning himself. (Looking at you, Crazy Drive Idol.)

I picked Romani for the temp master here because while he might not be able to Rayshift, he probably has absolutely fantastic Master Compatibility, being Solomon and all. Don't worry, the contract will be transferred soon.

 

[Young Pyromancer]

Chapter 4: Introductions and Stats

Even though I'm capable of drawing upon Demi-Servant powers the likes of which only my sister can match, my body is still human at its base. So, eventually, I crashed hard. I slept for like a day, woke up, and ate enough jerky and granola bars for a family of four. Then I went to find someone in charge.

"Are you in charge?" I asked someone.

"No. I'm just the intern pleasedon'tkillme!"

"We have interns?" I scratched my head.

"Well, technically I'm a 'research assistant', but it's basically just an intern, except more human experimentation."

"Fair enough." I nodded. "Hey, you know what?"

The intern swallowed. "W- what?"

"We're human experimentation buddies!" I slapped them on the back, almost making them fall over. Whoops. Ah well.

After that, I went to Da Vinci's workshop. The person themselves wasn't there, but a wall lit up when I arrived and FaceTimed me. "Ah, Potato! Good to see you're up! We were letting you sleep in, but we could really use you at Conference Room 3. I've converted it into a summoning chamber since we got cut off from the original one, and we're preparing to have Fujimaru summon a Servant."

"And you want me to be there in case they need to be beat up, right?"

"…sure, let's go with that." Da Vinci hung up.

Now, where was Conference Room 3 again? I had probably been there before, having lived my whole life in Chaldea, but it was hard for me to remember things like directions sometimes. So, I picked a direction and started running through the halls. Ha ha ha, now that the Director was gone, no one could stop me now! Take that, you over-hyped Hall Monitor!

I found the Conference Room pretty quickly, actually. Hurrah for the luck stat! Da Vinci was there, setting stuff up. Romani too. Most importantly, though, Fujimaru and Mash were there!

I bounced over to my big sister, interrupting her greeting with a hug. "You did it Mash! I'm so happy for you! Great job!"

She blushed slightly, then returned my hug. "Yes, well, although I still don't know the identity of the Heroic Spirit, I have managed to unlock enough of its powers to not be a burden in combat."

I released her and stepped back. "Really? Show me show me!"

She obliged, summoning a purple suit of stylized 'armor'. A large shield appeared in her hand. It practically screamed Noble Phantasm. "Looking good, sis!" I gave her a thumbs up. Then, I turned to the redhead.

"Right. I guess we haven't been properly introduced yet, have we? I mean, I told you my name, but I should also probably say that I'm the younger brother of Mash here."

"Hold on! Younger brother?"

"Yep! I'm a guy."

Fujimaru stared blankly at me for a moment, then desperately looked to Mash. "It's true," my sister confirmed. The redhead collapsed, defeated.

It took me poking her with a foot to see if she was still alive to get her standing up again. Fortunately, she'd managed to recover enough to look me in the eye, even if she muttered "unfair cheating bastard" when she thought I wasn't paying attention.

"Anyway, what's your name?"

"Fujimaru Ritsuka. Or, Ritsuka Fujimaru if we're going by the western name order."

She didn't continue. I looked around at the expensive equipment lying on the floor, and wondered how heavy it was. As if sensing her creations' imminent distress, Da Vinci interrupted my contemplation. "Well, I'm glad to see you've all managed to get to know each other! Now that that's done, let me just…" she hit a button on her tablet. I felt a strange thrumming motion through the Master-Servant Bond before it settled back into place again. "There, contract transferred!"

Hmm. Yes, I could feel a connection between me and Ritsuka. It wasn't weak, exactly- the Chaldean generators made sure of that- but it wasn't very open. It was like a tunnel with walls so encrusted with gunk and graffiti you had to squeeze to make your way through.

We stared at each other, Master and Servant.

"Yeah, no, I'm not calling you that. It feels too much like a sex thing. I'll just use your name instead."

Ritsuka sputtered, but didn't object, which was basically agreement.

"So! If you're going to direct Potato in battle, you should know his capabilities. Try using your Master's Clairvoyance on him," Da Vinci said. Romani was still busy looking for something on the ground. I felt my bond twitch, then a screen appeared on a wall. "Here, I've projected the results for everyone's convenience," said Da Vinci.

Spoiler: "Master's Clairvoyance"

Monty "Potato" Kyrielight

True Name: Astolfo
Class: Demi-Servant Berserker
Appearance:

• Berserker resembles a cute tomboy-esque girl. His purple hair is a similar shade to his sibling, except his is longer and kept in the back by a loose ponytail. He usually dresses in plain clothing when out of his armor. He's a little bit short for his age, and his skin is less pale than you'd expect for someone with his circumstances. Still pale though.
• Berserker's Servant outfit when manifested is a tight black shirt and black leggings. On top of that is an armored skirt, pauldrons, and forearm guards. Along with Berserker's 'armor' comes a sword and sheath. They are mundane, but well made.

Stats:

• Strength: D (C)
• Mana: D (C)
• Endurance: D (C)
• Luck: A+ (A++)
• Agility: C (B)
• Noble Phantasm: D

Class Skills:

• Succeed Phantasm [Beautiful Appearance]: D+
  • As a Berserker, Astolfo's confusing feminine beauty is boosted to the point of becoming a skill. Why? Because it makes people's heads hurt, which is the specialty of Berserker Astolfo.
• Magic Resistance: E
  • Resistant to magic, at least a little. This isn't typical for Berserkers, but it's probably the carryover from what would be a Noble Phantasm if he was summoned as a Rider.
• Madness Enhancement: EX (? - EX)
  • As a Servant so mad that it even carries over into other classes, Astolfo is too insane to fit into the rational definition of insanity. Thus, EX. However, being a Demi-Servant muddles things. It is difficult to tell how much Berserker is actually affected by this insanity, how much they are able to function rationally, and how much they were just naturally insane. It seems to vary depending on the circumstance.

Personal Skills:

• Discernment of the Fool (False): C+
  • Whether it's their willingness to flout common sense or their ability to think unconventionally, sometimes it takes an idiot to recognise something is stupid. This skill could even be called 'the wisdom of the mad'. Demi-Servant Berserker refuses to answer questions about why this skill is considered (False).
• Befuddling Behavior: A
  • Demi-Servant Berserker can be very confusing. This skill is the manifestation of that knack, exaggerating the natural tendency to hesitate when caught off-guard. Though, this effect doesn't stop people from defending themselves, at best prompting a slight hesitation. This skill synergises well with many other aspects of his Saint Graph to achieve its A ranking.
• ???: ???
  • ???

Noble Phantasm:

• ???: C-, Anti-Personnel, 0-4 targets
  • ???
  • ???
• Soudain Arbre (Lit. Suddenly Tree): E, Anti-Self
  • "Soudain Arbre!"
  • Where once a Demi-Servant stood, now stands- a tree! A completely useless Noble Phantasm. Or is it? As Berserker would say, "The expressions are priceless!"

As everyone read through my status sheet, I felt like a kid getting his report card read by his parents. It was a dumb feeling, but it was mine, so I embraced it.

"Da Vinci?" Ritsuka looked at the Cater, brow furrowing. "I have some questions."

"Ask away!"

"Okay, so…" my Master pointed near the top, at my stats. "What's with the parentheses?"

Da Vinci looked like she was about to answer, but Mash beat her to it. "While all Masters interpret their Clairvoyance differently, my brother is a Berserker. As such, his parameters are influenced by his Madness Enhancement. That is likely what the parentheses are meant to represent."

"Madness Enhancement, huh? Is that why…" she cast a glance at me. This time, it was Romani who responded, having apparently found whatever he had been looking for.

"Yes and no. As his Madness Enhancement skill says, due to his circumstances, it's difficult to tell how much of it is the skill itself versus personality bleed or the psychological consequences of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Think of it like this," the doctor said, a grimace on his face. "If you were constantly flickering in and out of lucidity due to factors outside of your control, how hard would it be to stay sane?"

"Oh." Ritsuka cast me a pitying glance. Meanwhile, I was fiddling with my sword, unsheathing it slightly and then sheathing it again. I really didn't like it when people started talking about this stuff, but I had to wait it out. They were going to summon a Servant after all, and I wanted to know who it was right away!

"Um, what about that 'Succeed Phantasm' stuff? I think Mash has that too?"

Ah! I could answer that one! "It's because we're Demi-Servants!" I flexed my non-sword arm. "Humans imbued with the power of Heroic Spirits! Except, not quite. To stop the Servant from gaining control and just ending up as a Pseudo-Servant, we're only directly linked to the Noble Phantasm and one of their skills. That's what 'Succeed Phantasm' is. For the rest of them, we have to figure out how to use our abilities ourselves, basing it off of the legend, our own personal strengths, and extrapolating off of our Noble Phantasm. I bet Mash doesn't have as many skills right now as I do, right? That's because I've had enough time to develop them, while she hasn't yet."

Everyone was staring at me. I huffed. "What? Just because I'm Mad doesn't mean I can't explain things well. Discernment of the Fool, remember?"

Interestingly enough, Ritsuka was the one to answer me. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for the explanation, Potato-san. You did a good job."

Eh? Was this the famed 'Pavlovian Reinforcement'? More importantly though-

"Potato."

"Ah?"

I looked my Master in the eyes and smiled gently. "If you're willing to trust your life in my hands, then the least I can do is let you call me by my name."

"A-ah? Um, okay, Potato." Ritsuka took a deep breath.

"I think you were about to ask about the question marks?" Da Vinci said.

"Right, sorry. So, what are those for?"

"I couldn't tell you," said Da Vinci.

"Wait. Wait wait waaaaiit." This was not something I could let slide! "Has the great Leonardo Da Vinci found something she doesn't know? How inconceivable!"

"Potato misunderstands," Da Vinci said, eyes gleaming. Agh, she had baited me! Meanie! "I'm perfectly aware of what the question marks are concealing. Rather, it's you who can't become aware. Your Master's Clairvoyance seems to be quite good, so you should be able to see the skill, at least. The only explanation is that Potato is deliberately withholding information from you. In that case, as a proper Servant, it is my obligation to say nothing more on the matter.

Agh. Da Vinci was sooo annoying sometimes. I glared at her. 'Proper Servant' my cute butt!

Oh, wait. Master. She was looking at me with something I couldn't read in her eyes.

"I see. Can I ask why you are hiding things from me?"

I looked down and scuffed the floor with my foot. "…it's a surprise."

"A…surprise?"

"Yep."

…the room sighed in unison. What? What did I say?! Oy, don't go turning off the projection!

I stomped over to give Da Vinci a piece of my mind, but before I could get there, the mass of machinery that had been set up in the middle of the room clunked.

"Ah, it's finally ready!" said Da Vinci. "Let's summon a Servant!"

* * *

AN: This is where the rest of my mechanical speculation went. Basically, people think of Demi-Servants as just inheriting their whole kit from the Heroic Spirit, but riddle me this: what the hell does Succeed Phantasm granting a skill mean then? Wouldn't it be granting all the skills? So I looked at Mash's skills and it turns out they're all applying components of her Noble Phantasm or stuff she could have just figured out, and considering how she unlocks/upgrades them over the course of the story, I reasoned that they're her part of the equation. Rather than just a servant possessing a human body, I interpreted Demi-Servants as having to actively work to create their own abilities. If anyone else has a better explanation, please share it with me.

As for the build, I based Berserker Astolfo around three parts of his legend. The tree bit, because it deserves to be mentioned somewhere, him being insane (which we'll get to more later), and a certain other ridiculous thing he once did that I'm not including here because it's inappropriate. The only reason I'm mentioning it at all is because, while I didn't call it out explicitly, that's the real reason only Berserker-class Astolfo has the Beautiful Appearance skill.

 

[Young Pyromancer]

Chapter 5: Some Guy I Totally Do Not Know, Honest

The circle setup was pretty simple. I managed to convince Da Vinci to rig up some mood lighting, but that was all the flare we had. The rest was just a bunch of equipment doing who-knows-what surrounding Mash's shield. Her shield, as a Noble Phantasm, was an ideal Catalyst for the summoning. We shouldn't get the same Servant as was inhabiting her though, so no need to worry about that. Da Vinci had explained why but I wasn't listening. Anyway, when the summoning started, Da Vinci and Roman were in the control booth (because there was a control booth in a conference room now, thanks Da Vinci) while Mash and I each flanked our Master like cosplaying bodyguards. Ritsuka began to chant, reading off a piece of paper taped to the wall. (My contribution. The idea, not the wall.)

As the ameteur Magus spoke the incantation, the room's lights dimmed. The air shifted, first only slightly, then more forcefully, as if it was being stirred by an invisible hand. Machines that mixed magecraft and technology whirred to life. Conduits routed energy from the generator, then continued to pull on what little reserves we had managed to accumulate.

The lights flickered, and Chaldea trembled.

In the space between seconds, mana had started to condense. It formed into clumps of aether, themselves forming a circle in the air above Mash's shield. They glowed with energy like tiny suns.

As the chant continued, mana grew denser in the air. I could almost feel it slipping by me, being drawn into the ritual. It was packing together, compressing, becoming solid spinning stars. And they were spinning, perfectly in sync, revolving around an invisible midpoint.

No. The midpoint wasn't invisible. Another light was sparking there, something that resonated within me-

A massive pillar of light and mana burst forth, passing through the roof of the room and out into the unknown beyond. I could hear machines frying under the strain of shaping that much power. Sparks flew. The lights abruptly died for a good three seconds before the power restarted. I heard Da Vinci shouting something, but I couldn't hear it. The mana was so dense it was like I was underwater. My ears popped.

Despite how abruptly it had arrived, the pillar took its time vanishing. But, eventually, the light began to fade. Emerging from the summoning circle was a familiar figure. Tanned skin. White hair. A stylish red coat thingy.

Yes yes yes yes yes

Counter Guardian EMIYA spoke, eyes on his new Master. "Archer-class Servant. I have been summoned-"

"YES!" I yelled in triumph, jumping into the air. "It's EM-"

EMIYA's head snapped to the side. He fixed me with a glare sharp enough to cut bone.

Ah, right, he didn't like people knowing his name. Salvage mode…

"Emrrrrrrrmmmmm, that one sword boner guy!"

I pointed a finger at him, then realized what I had just said.

The room devolved into chaos.

* * *

After about a minute of laughing (Da Vinci), yelling (Romani), attempted deescalation (Mash), looking lost (Ritsuka) and running around in circles (me), things settled down enough for me to be questioned.

"What do you mean, 'sword boner guy'?!"

Time to commit. Sorry, EMIYA. "Well, I mean, he goes around saying it to everyone! He fights people and just starts telling them that he is a sword boner. It's creepy!"

I pointed an accusing finger at him. "You're a weirdo! I won't let you take advantage of Master! Or my sister! Da Vinci and Romani are fine though."

"Ignoring that last part," said Romani, clearly regretting surviving the explosion, "is that true, Archer?"

Archer huffed. "I have no idea what you're talking about. You're clearly mistaking me for someone else."

Suuuuuure. "In that case, you wouldn't have a problem reciting the first line of your Aria for us, then would you?"

"No problem." He smirked at me, conjuring a pair of mirrored blades into his hands. Their colors were inverted, a mix of black and white, yin and yang. "Spirit and technique, flawless and firm." The words… resonated. They seemed to linger for a moment, like they were clinging to the weapons in his hands.

"Tha- that's cheating!" I insisted. "You're not allowed to use a different one!"

"What do you mean? This one's mine, isn't it?" That smug bastard!!!

"More importantly," Romani cut in. "Potato. How did you recognize this Servant?"

Shit.

I looked away, checking my escape routes. "I don't know what you're talking about. Have no idea who he is."

"Potato."

"Never seen him before in my life."

"Potato."

"Um," said Mash unexpectedly.

We all turned to look at her. She cracked a bit under the attention, but soldiered on.

"Is- isn't that possible? I mean, brother's always had a closer connection with his Heroic Spirit than I have. Especially with Madness Enhancement serving as a vector, isn't it possible that he's recognizing Archer from Astolfo's memories?"

That… was brilliant! Mash, I could kiss you! Well, I couldn't because you're my sister. I guess I could kiss your forehead then! But I'm the younger sibling, so that's no good either. Hmph.

While I was trying to avoid mental incest, it appeared the situation had resolved itself. Romani and Da Vinci were discussing what went wrong with the machines while Ritsuka was shaking hands with EMIYA. Mash, on the other hand, was looking at me with eyes full of concern.

"Monty," she said. This was serious. "I know it wasn't Astolfo's memories."

"It wasn't," I confirmed.

She watched me for a moment, then nodded. "Okay, I'll trust you. Just… you know you can count on your big sister if you need help, right?"

Hnnnngghhhh. So cute! I couldn't resist. I leapt forward and wrapped her up in a hug. A real one, a solid one- the kind I hadn't been able to give her ever since I'd become Berserker. Now, though? I knew she could take it.

"I love you, Mash," I told her. "I love you forever."

"I…"

"Ehem."

Archer cleared his throat very pointedly. We ended our hug, Mash blushing at being caught. I, on the other hand, was unrepentant. I glared at him, but surprisingly enough it was Ritsuka who spoke. "Archer and I were talking, and we thought that since I've only seen Mash fight, it would be a good idea for me to see you and Archer show your skills so I know what I have to work with. I heard Chaldea has a simulator for practicing combat, right? Maybe you two can spar there while the rest of us watch?"

I froze. Archer smirked.

This was very bad.

* * *

AN: The EMIYA joke has arrived as foretold. I just can't get over how horrible his chant is out of context. "I am the bone of my sword." Seriously, that's two euphemisms for the same thing in a row. Taiga, as his English teacher, would be very mad at him. Life lesson: if you're making up a magic chant using another language, run it by someone who speaks it fluently before committing to it.

I kind of get what people say about characters taking on a life of their own now. I was trying to keep track of the scene and was like 'what's Mash doing,' then that bit just sort of happened. It's kinda weird, NGL.

Anyway, I'll probably not keep this rapid pace up now that I got to the joke I had planned. I have a few ideas for how to spice up the singularities, but they'll probably be where the 'inconsistent updates' warning takes effect. Also, please give me your feedback on the summoning description.

 

[Young Pyromancer]

Chapter 6: I Am… Somehow Not Dead?

I tried getting out of it, but everyone else thought me sparring with Archer was a good idea. They seemed to think my inexperience would be counteracted by the fact that I had, on paper, the advantage in close quarters.

Phooey.

So, I wound up standing in the simulator across from Counter Guardian EMIYA, a being that had fought more battles than I could even imagine. I drew my sword. Archer extended his hands, two wooden blades forming out of nothing. No, not two- both had the same tiger charm attached to the hilt. Two copies of the same training sword. I could feel the malevolence wafting off of them like twin very angry jungle cats. They were cursed.

"Don't you think that's kinda overkill?"

"Overkill? What do you mean? You're the one using a real blade." Well yeah, but that'd only matter if it actually hit you, which it wouldn't.

So, with that failed attempt at negotiation out of the way, I leveled my blade at my opponent and prepared to be thoroughly schooled!

* * *

About thirty seconds later, (a long time in a Servant fight,) I had to reevaluate things. After all, I was surprisingly… not being crushed? Oh, sure, in terms of skill Archer had me completely outmatched. I'd received several sharp whacks already, and I'd yet to land a blow on my opponent. But in terms of raw physicality, I actually had the edge? In strength, speed, and maybe even endurance, I was firmly above Archer, somehow.

I suppose it made sense. Despite being a knight class, which were known to have higher stats, EMIYA was a modern Servant. His strengths would never be pure parameters. Besides, I was a Berserker, the class that traded rationality, control, and magical efficiency for raw power. Me outperforming him in that regard kinda made sense.

So, during a brief lull, I pulled back and raised a hand to my chin. I spoke my thoughts. "I seem to be faster than you, but winning is hard. Am I supposed to just run away until you run out of stamina here?"

Archer raised an eyebrow at me. "You're considering keeping me at a distance? I'm an Archer."

Oh. Duh. I knuckled my forehead and stuck my tongue out. "Oops."

"Besides," Archer continued, "in a real battle you'd have to protect your Master. As a Berserker, venturing out far from her would be difficult, whereas my class is especially suited to it. Pressuring me enough that I couldn't fire off a shot is your only real recourse-"

"I get it, I get it! Geez, you're much more of a meanie than I was expecting."

Before Archer could continue his tirade, I rushed inward. He took advantage of the distance to dismiss his swords and summon his bow, getting off a few blunted arrows before I caught up to his retreating figure. He dismissed his bow and took up his swords again, but I'd been saving a trick for a spot like this! I channeled mana into my legs, crudely reinforcing them. It was something that took impractical levels of concentration and was inefficient to boot, but it could be useful if I was clever with it. My step propelled me a little further than it should, closing the space between us just a tad faster than my opponent expected. That should be enough-!

Except it wasn't. My opponent's movements also suddenly sped up. Unlike my fumbling execution, his Reinforcement was masterfully performed. He pulled it off nigh-instantly across his entire body, packing every crevice with as much magical energy as that specific part could take without exploding. It was utterly ridiculous, the legacy of a lifetime of recklessly pushing a body to its limits with no regard for the risks. His newfound speed bought him enough time to reconjure his weapons, and both of them battered at me with previously unseen strength. The weapons themselves were reinforced too, lines of mana running through impurities in the weapon and holding strands of wood together. The increased durability let him put more of his strength into his blows, and I quickly found myself retreating under an onslaught of strikes.

Durability? Now, there was an idea…

Still, that wasn't enough on its own. I ran through my capabilities. I was already taking full advantage of my parameters and Madness Enhancement. My Noble Phantasms were useless here. I was hiding my third skill for a suitable moment. That left only one real option.

A plan came together. In the midst of a particularly furious exchange of strikes, I glanced over Archer's shoulder, acting surprised. "Rin?!" I shouted. I felt my A-rank skill Befuddling Behavior activate, and swung at him with all my strength.

A crude trick like that, backed by a high rank skill, may have created hesitation in a lesser warrior. However, this was a Counter Guardian, defender of humanity. Instincts honed by countless battles let him react on autopilot. One sword came up to block my full-force attack. His reinforcement would allow him to match my strength, while my overcommitting gave his other sword a chance to strike past my defenses!

In terms of battle, his experience was something I doubted I would ever equal. Except this wasn't a battle, and the weapons he was wielding weren't the ones his instincts were honed with. He was wielding training swords.

Rather than aborting I let his swift jab hit my chest. The tip landed perfectly in between my ribs, positioned to pass through virtually unobstructed and pierce my heart. Except the end was blunt, the blow lacking in enough force to shift my momentum. His other sword, raised to block me? Even reinforced wood had its limits. The training blade shattered under my strike.

Archer tried to recover. His instincts took over, projecting a familiar black blade. But the magecraft was rushed, the projection sloppy. The angle of his block was worse now. My superior strength would be enough to overwhelm it!

A hastily-created Noble Phantasm met my attack. It wasn't enough-!

Kanshou sliced through my poor steel sword like it didn't even exist. The severed tip bounced uselessly off of my foe, before clattering to the ground and disappearing.

I froze in shock, and Archer didn't waste the opportunity. Two wooden swords were quickly leveled at my throat.

…Oh come on!!! The bastard even had the audacity to smirk at me! Like I didn't have him! He had set to only using a singular weapon during our fight, and he broke the rule! Did he expect that if he just ignored it, I'd forget?!

I opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, but the sound of clapping interrupted me. Confused, I glanced at the sidelines. Ritsuka had stood up, chair forgotten, and was applauding us enthusiastically. The rest of them, on the other hand, were taking a more sedate approach. Mash, Da Vinci, Romani, and even some latecomers amidst the general staff were all clapping for us. It felt nice.

I shared a glance with my opponent. I supposed I could find it within myself to let this go. Just this once, at least.

* * *

AN: I don't really write fight scenes, so I hope you like how this one turned out! I blew a fair number of 'possible twists on it that I could have saved to use as the resolution for future fights, so if this didn't work out, I don't think I could reasonably include any more without completely exhausting my bag of tricks. Maybe I could have included more unique things on EMIYA's part? But that would've taken away from future options too, as he is a Servant I'm going to use going forward. Hm.