Breathe in.
He's just there to get you out of your room because Niamh asked him to. If you open the door you're opening yourself to being taken back and you won't, can't do that. It's a trick, it's a lie, it's a scheme, it's everything and anything that terrifies you so and you're frozen in place with your chains biting so deep into your skin you're sure it'll leave marks, and it's all you can do to keep breathing through the lump in your throat and the pit in your stomach.
Breathe out.
No one knows you. No one knows you're related. No one knows the verdant grove you grew up in, the prison of wood and flowers you escaped, the gaolers who wanted nothing to do with you right up until the moment that you wanted to leave. Niamh didn't see you, and you know she didn't because if she had, she would have ripped the door apart already. It's just Roman, kind, caring Roman, who wanted to help you, because you came to him for that help earlier.
What does it matter that you missed the timing on it just a bit, that you would need help an hour after you asked it instead of an hour before? He's a doctor, for gods' sake. Sworn an oath to never do harm. Even if he was sent here because of duty instead of personal worry, what of it? You need help, his duty is to help.
You don't know this man, and you hope that you won't ever get to know him. That means you can be vulnerable, just for a bit. Made of glass instead of steel, just for one moment.
Breathe in.
You're still scared, but you're moving. It's like wading through sand, but you're moving. Your body trembles with nervous shivers and your throat feels so tight that you'd swear someone was gripping it and choking the life from you, but you're moving nevertheless. In a moment that lasts hours, you're at the door, your hand hovering over the button marked "Open".
Breathe out.
You push it.
Roman is on the other side, his face practically bursting with concern as he steps inside, so much more forcefully than you expected that you step back and let him in without even thinking. His nose wrinkles a little at the smell of smoke and the sight of the three cigarette butts haphazardly left on the small cabinet beside your bed, before turning to you with a look so sympathetic you'd almost be insulted if you weren't trying to hold yourself together. He must be able to see that you just can't choke out the words, because he talks first, guiding you to sit down on the bed and taking the single chair in the room so he can sit to face you.
"Whatever you're worried about, you're alright. You're safe here. I know that it can be difficult adjusting, and that for someone with your history, you might be nervous about the other Masters or the Servants that we'll be summoning. But I
promise you, Edward, you're safe. Given your track record, I'd almost think they have more to be worried about from you!" The awkward attempt at humour falls so flat that it's funny all by itself, and you give a slight, choked chuckle even as Roman winces to himself and tries to smooth over the little mishap. "...Look, Olga's a bit upset, but she's willing to overlook it. It'll make things harder going forward to upset her, so...I know it's tough, but if you get yourself prepped for the first Rayshift, I can explain what's going on along the way. I know that's harsh, but you have to think big picture, right?"
It makes sense. Sure, you'd
like to hide here for the rest of your time in Chaldea until you find a way out, but that's just not realistic. If Roman doesn't get you out, if you make more of a scene, then others will come. Olga and some guards to take you away, sure, but more than that. Bystanders, gawkers, anyone who heard the rumour of the Enforcer running away at the first sign of trouble. That means more chance she finds you, and you can't deal with that. Even if you don't plan to be in Chaldea for long, it's better to play along and not rock the boat until the time is right.
But you're still scared.
"I...I can't..."
"Hey, it's alright. I promise." Roman reaches out and takes your hand in his, and it feels nice enough that you have to resist the urge to snatch it away like you've been stung. "You're tough, I can tell. Get yourself on your feet and come follow the others, they'll be suiting up and getting ready to Rayshift right about now. Once you get in the action, you'll be fine, I'm sure of it. Get the adrenaline pumping, right? C'mon, let's go, Olga's not really known for being kind to slackers." He stands and moves to pull you up, and with a surprising amount of strength that reminds you that he's pretty damned built under that lab coat of his (tragically zipped up, you could use the support that seeing him in causalwear would bring), he brings you to your feet. Part of you still feels shellshocked and panicked, and that's evident in the way your chains still bite into your skin from above your shirt, but...
You're moving.
"You
can. You were brought here for a reason. Now, come follow me. I'll explain on the wa-" His kind words are cut off by a shrill beep from his wrist, and before he can so much as move to answer what you can only assume to be a call, a familiar,
very irritated voice rings out, filling the room and making Roman wince as he steps back from you.
"Romani! What the
hell are you doing? I told you specifically to leave him behind so that I could deal with him!" Olga Marie Animusphere's voice is worse when heard through the slightly digital filter on the communicators, and on top of it all, you realise that she apparently has the kind of access that means you
can't hang up on her when she calls. Joy of joys. "Get back here right now so we can run diagnostics on the Masters, they're about five minutes from beginning the Rayshift! Lev can't do it all by himself, and we don't have time for you to waste it on trash!"
You freeze as you hear her words, and the look on Roman's face makes it clear that he wishes he could erase the last ten seconds of both your lives. You were scared, true, but hearing that there's something else bubbling up inside you, black as pitch and red as blood and
burning until you feel like you're going to explode. She knows
nothing about you,
nothing about why you fled, and she still feels comfortable enough to call you
trash?
Fear might be like icy talons gripping your heart, but if that's the case then spite is like your blood being set aflame. All at once, there's nothing you'd rather do than march there and remind Animusphere that you were hired for
muscle, and that you're going to demand the same respect from her that you get from
any magus that decides to work with an Enforcer. Roman must see it on your face, because he suddenly looks panicked, and he quickly raises the small band on his wrist up to speak in a hurried voice.
"D-Director, everything's fine, I'm just about to bring him back-" He manages to squeak out just that little bit, before he's cut off again, Animusphere's voice raising in decibels already.
"Bull
shit you are! I'm coming there to drag you back myself, and if that Enforcer shows his face to me I'm going to have him turned inside out before I make sure he realises what kind of
commitment he made coming here!" That seems to really rattle Roman, and he's practically waving his hands like she's already in front of him and he's trying to show her how bad of an idea he thinks it is as he responds.
"N-No, no no no, that's fine! You can go back, keep an eye on everything, I'll be right there!" He turns to you with a panicked look on his face, all but grabbing your arm, not even flinching as he feels the hard metal beneath your coat. "Come on, we gotta go, j-just keep your mouth shut until the Rayshift is over and when you get back we can sort everything out!"
You're pulling back, taking a breath to explain to him that there's no way in
hell you're going to let some little noble harpy with no idea what you're dealing with call you
trash when the hair on the back of your neck stands up. It's not quite a sixth sense, because those are very real, and you weren't blessed with one. But a third of your life has been spent fighting, sneaking, killing and avoiding being killed, and that leaves its mark. A kind of expanded awareness, instinct that isn't Instinct, just the vague feeling of something wrong as opposed to prophetic senses.
Something is wrong.
Something is wrong, wrong,
wrong.
You shove Roman out of the way and lunge into the hallway, right as the world itself begins to shake, explosions roaring in the distance as the lights above turn from hospital-white to burning red.
You're under attack.
Protect Roman.
That's your first port of call, but even as you're turning to call him to your side you see him running out, the light of his communicator beeping a slow red to show the call had disconnected. His face is awash with concern and panic, but he's keeping himself under control well enough that part of you is impressed despite yourself.
"We have to get to the Klein Coffins! O-Olga, the Masters, they're all still there!" He barely waits for you to nod, taking off at a sprint, and you follow him. All around you is the buzzing of klaxons, and after a moment you hear a mechanical female voice speak out from the PA system.
"Emergency alert. Fires have broken out in the central power plant and central control room. All personnel evacuate from gate two immediately. Bulkheads will close momentarily. Repeat: Fires have broken out..."
You've heard all you need to know, and you tune the voice out. It won't help, and right now, you're focused, you have to be. All the tightness in your body vanishes like dust in the wind, your chains are fluid and free, letting you move as nimbly as you can.
Panic later. Action now.
"Where do I go?" You call out towards Roman beside you, who looks at you with a little shock at the sudden change, before nodding resolutely.
"The Rayshifting chamber! The candidates could be hurt, and I think Matthew might have been with them! I'll head to the control room and-"
Whatever he says next, you don't know. You have your orders, your target, your goal. You're no good at healing, but you can keep things stable, and if there's anyone still in there then you can kill them before they finish the job. You falter for a single step when you remember that Niamh is there, but...
No.
You're not trading your comfort for their lives. Even if you want to leave, you need someone here to fix things. If the Masters die, then there's no one.
And if Matthew dies, then that's at least one normal person dead, because of the machinations of uncaring magi.
No more.
A key turns. The lock tightens. The chains break.
Go.
Mana floods your body and you rocket forward, easily doubling the speed you ran at moments ago. You'd like to go faster, but you've no handholds, no leverage, no way to make the sharp turns you need, so you settle for merely superhuman. The blades of your chains slip out into your waiting hands while you run, and it all settles into a familiar rhythm. Step, breathe, push, move. Like you're only half-alive when you're normal, but like this, no hesitation, no doubt, no fear, this is when you're
real. When your movements are blinding, when you can shatter stone, when your chains move like extensions of your own body.
You feel powerful, and dangerously focused. It's an escape, just as much of one as the cigarettes were, but you'll take it. Seeing Niamh after nine years was more than enough to make you need something like that.
The main Rayshifting chamber is on the second floor, so you all but fire yourself down the closest stairs you can find, bouncing off the walls and launching yourself into a graceful leap before rolling to your feet, no energy wasted, the picture of efficiency. Already you smell acrid smoke and hear the hissing and fizzing of broken pipes and wires sparking, and your eyes water as you get closer, but you can handle this. You've already got smoke in your lungs, and a little heat never hurt anyone. No sign of any intruder yet, or any bodies. You passed a few panicked staff on the way, and you saw some of the uniformed guards sprinting towards the control room on the third floor, but no sign of Animusphere or Matthew yet. No bodies, at least.
For a moment, Matthew's grinning face flashes into your head and you stumble, just a bit. You don't know how big the explosions were, don't know if there was anything else to the attack. For all you know, his corpse is burnt to the point that you couldn't recognise it, or maybe he's just riddled with bullets somewhere in Rayshifting chamber. You're close, so close, and you just barely manage to right yourself and get back on track when the wall beside you erupts in a flash of light and heat and
pain.
It takes you a few moments to blink away the white spots in your vision, and there's nothing but ringing in your ears. You can taste coppery blood, not a good sign, but you're filled fit to burst with Reinforcement magecraft and your coat took the brunt of it, even if you were slammed against the opposite wall. At worst you've got a few broken bones, but those won't stop you, you can dip into what little healing you have and keep yourself bound together until you can do something more permanent. All you need is to stand up and-
Your leg gives out the moment you put weight on it, and you hiss out a sharp curse from the pain. Glancing down, you can see that one of the shards from the wall impaled you through your thigh, and you swallow thickly. You can't see straight just yet and your head is pounding from the sound of the explosion, but you got away relatively unscathed for how close it was. You're never that lucky, but...hell, you'll take it. An impaled thigh isn't a high price to pay for being able to walk away from that, but you know you're going to be bleeding too much for comfort.
Matthew's still in danger.
You hiss out a few words of Irish under your breath and feel the drowsy spell of hypnotism settle on your body like a warm blanket, your aches and pains vanishing. Not ideal, because you're not
healing yourself, but it's all you've really got. With a deep breath, you wrench out the spike of metal and curse as some of the blocked pain seeps through, though your spell downgrades it from "black out immediately" to merely "agonizing", and with a quick sketch of glowing fingers you can feel your flesh knitting together. It's not perfect, but when you step again, you can move, barely.
The gate is right in front of you, and you're limping. As long as you have your chains you're a threat, but every blood-trailed step you take feels like an eternity, and you can't even call out for anyone for fear of alerting your attackers. All that you can hear is the buzzing of klaxons, the dull, monotone voice of the PA system, and the crackling of fire in front of you, a sound so familiar that you almost flinch away.
Not again.
You step forward, raising a hand to cover your mouth from the smoke, and look inside.
The giant globe in the middle of the room is burning bright red, the rings surrounding it slowing further and further, moving like the last few steps of someone bleeding to death. All around you, metal pods with frosted-glass panels in front are scattered, some merely askew in their docks, others totally blown apart from their proper place, though none have come unsealed. Blood seeps out in pools from some, and ahead you see...
A body?
Someone outside the pods, barely visible through the smoke that stings your eyes and draws out your tears, but it's
someone. Their shoulders are shaking as they cough up the smog that fills the room and they don't seem like they can move, but they're alive.
"M-Matthew! Are you okay?!"
They can't hear you, and as you try to get closer, you stumble, try to catch yourself, but it's too much weight, too soon, and your leg gives out again, sending you crashing to the floor. The air leaves your lungs in a
whoosh as you hit the ground, and for a moment even your enchanted coat and Reinforced body isn't enough to keep you from curling up on yourself from the pain. When you cough, there's flecks of blood, and idly, you wonder if a rib ended up piercing your lung from something as small as a fall, or if the explosion beforehand ended up damaging you worse than you thought.
You want to move, but you just...can't. Maybe if you had time to think, time to do some more emergency healing, but your lungs are on fire and the smoke is falling lower and lower, and the pain is starting to fade into sweet, seductive numbness. You'll die if you pass out here, but your body doesn't seem to care, crooning that a release from the pain you're just barely holding back would be welcome, that you can just rest for a bit.
Just a bit.
You hear something in the distance, metal on metal, clanging together and hissing, and you just barely manage to turn your head enough to watch the steel bulkheads slide down.
Well, that's that, then.
You didn't save anyone. All it took was one explosion, and you failed. If anyone is alive in here, they'll choke on the smoke or they'll burn or they'll bleed out.
You'll be one of them.
You can just barely hear the words of that monotone female voice again, the ringing in your ears almost growing too loud to hear over.
"...laplace conversion protection in place."
You see movement above, and when you strain your eyes, you see someone through shattered windows in the control room.
"Unsummon program set...searching for qualified Masters."
They're moving so frantically, but you can barely see through the haze of smoke and your own blurred vision. You're fading, you realise, but there's nothing you can do, is there?
There's never been anything you can do.
I will not ask, we don't have time. You will be my Master.
"Re-establishing connection with qualified Masters 13 and 48. Unsummon Program Start. Beginning Spiritron Conversion."
"Executing Rayshift."
----------
Your eyes are closed as you watch the heavens burn.
Eight raging lights sear themselves into your vision, one larger, closer, than all the others, stars shining so bright that the empty sky itself seems lit aflame.
You should be swallowed up, but something holds back the destroying flames. A tiny, shimmering light the colour of the sky at midday holds the sphere of flames back, and as you watch, it grows. It shifts, changes, expands, until you see it clearly, a disc of pure light, a thousand times smaller than the dark sun before you, but it holds nevertheless.
You don't need to look to see what's behind you. Seven billion tiny sparks.
All that protects them is that little disc. Looking at it from here, it almost looks like...
A shield.
My shield.
But it cannot hold forever, and you cannot let it break.
It will never break, so long as we hold it.
You're going to take it, and hold the line. You don't have a choice, because otherwise, you'll die. You're first in its path, after all.
You're going to take it, and hold the line. You don't have a choice, because I took it away from you. I'm sorry.
But you'll have to forgive me. For all I saw, I didn't realise it would be like this.
You needn't forgive me. I knew what I consigned you to when I took your hand.
I need to know.
I want to know.
Why do you take the shield?
[ ] Duty. You became an Enforcer to protect the innocent from the magi that preyed upon them. Whether it's someone taking them for their experiments, or someone trying to destroy the world, it's only a matter of scale. At the end of the day, you made your choice because you wanted to
protect.
[ ] Shame. You failed, utterly. You ran when you could have helped, and when you so lazily returned, you did nothing but get caught off guard so you could limp your way into danger and die pretending you did anything. Now, you have a chance to atone. To make it
right.
[ ] Fear. You'll die if you don't take the shield, you can already see the cracks. You're the first one in the path of what's to come, after all. Without its power, you'll be burnt to nothingness before anyone else. You have to take the shield because you aren't ready to die.
----------
Q/N: So yeah, consider this the last update before next Friday evening, almost certainly. Three exams this week, so I can't really go ham on this as much as I like to. I'm not entirely satisfied with this but I'd rather you have something to get you hooked into things than me fretting my way through the day trying to study while worrying that I've left you hanging for more than a week, and hey, hopefully it's still at least decent!
As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks for keeping up with this!
